I so wish I could. I kept my father out of the loop throughout the whole diagnostic process earlier this year and he still doesn't know. He's very old school and doesn't even believe depression is a real, measurable illness, (that I've struggled with since I was literally 12), let alone something like this. I had great grades when i was young so he'd never accept my now ADD diagnosis (I'm almost 41 and got diagnosed in february) OR my newfound autism diagnosis, despite teachers telling my parents as early as first grade that something was wrong. Some people just aren't open to the truth, no matter how pragmatic you try to be about it.
Some parents just don't want to admit that there is something wrong with THEM since this is an inherited trait or that they gave it to you, so to speak.
@@vivianstewart7523 I'm autistic. That means I'm very different from "normal" people. I'm not unwell, there's nothing wrong with me, I'm just autistic. I'm sure Temple Grandin was a difficult child, just look at her now! I recommend you buy and read her book, The Autistic Brain. Then ask your father to read it. Amongst other things, it shows MRI images showing physical differences between her brain and typical ones She doesn't want to be "cured' either.
I can absolutely relate to that, I told my mum knowing that she wouldn't understand or believe me as she has the same opinion about depression and other mental illnesses as your dad...it was a very difficult situation to tell the truth but it helped me not to ask myself how she would react, cause I now know how she reacted...anyway no recommendation or anything just my personal experience and letting you know that you're not alone in facing these struggles... just take your time to find out what is best for you
Talking with my parents about my diagnosis (at age 39!) has been interesting, but NOT because I would generally characterize them as "difficult people" AT ALL. It's just that where they struggled and where they didn't were often surprising. To set the stage, I almost self-diagnosed at age 12 when I found an article about kids with Aspergers (as it was called at the time) entitled "little professors". I took it to my parents like: "Doesn't this sound like me?" And they were like: "Well, but WE'RE professors, so of course that would kind of sound like you. There's nothing wrong with you, don't worry about it." So that was the thing - the tendency to dismiss came from the perspective of "you're not 'disordered'; you're great the way you are and anyone who can't see that is a moron." Which is very sweet, and honestly being diagnosed in the 1990s might have done more harm than good. Because, purely on instinct, they tended to do the right things: being supportive of my special interests, being tolerant of some of my odd but harmless habits, explaining social expectations in words I could understand, etc... I've been trying to impress that upon my mom, who reacted to my diagnosis with guilt that she couldn't see that there was this thing going on with me that was contributing to making my school life difficult and so on. So I had to spend some time comforting her, like: "Nah, nah...you guys did exactly the kind of things that would NOW be recommended. Other kids being assholes is not your fault!" I thought my dad might have more trouble with it, given that he and I are more similar personality-wise (and that can lead to denial)...completely forgetting that I'd already had a long conversation with him about the research I'd been doing into how autism presents in women that had been triggered by identifying deeply with the character of Entrapta from 'She-ra'. So he was actually quite ready to accept it, and to get into the kind of analytical conversations we both love about it. What was a little hard was finding out through those conversations that, even though he'd been DOING the right things (from my perspective), his assumptions about what was going on in my head at certain moments was actually pretty far off! Because, while we are similar...he isn't autistic. So if I said things like "Yeah, sometimes when I don't answer a question about emotions right away, it isn't that I'm holding back or don't want to, I'm just PROCESSING"...he needed an explanation of "processing" because his brain doesn't do that (whereas I heard that term and IMMEDIATELY knew what it meant!). Or finding out that he thought I cried so much because I was sensitive or genuinely super sad...when actually it just seems to be a physiological response to being a bit overwhelmed with some combo of sensory environment, social demands, and/or processing emotions into words (I never would have survived school if I was SENSITIVE). But I look forward to having more of those conversations, even if they are hard, because it is always fascinating (to me, anyway) to compare notes on how brains work.
I work in a mental health team and it's actually been the people I most expected to be judegemental who have been the most accepting and understanding. Like my manager who I thought might dismiss me as she can be quite 'cold' was actually incredibly supportive. But let's just say I was inredibly shocked that when I disclosed my autism diagnosis to a psychologist within the team, who I thought I trusted, said: 'I can't believe you're autistic, I'd never have guessed, you're the last person I'd have thought of who'd be diagnosed with autism!' I was left feeling so embaressed and invalidated. It really does only take one negative exeprience despite many positive ones of disclosing your diagnosis to put you off ever wanting to talk about it again. People need to do better.
Self-dx and also self-dxed my son. Because my nephew's officially dxed autism is more obvious my family has yet to learn that "Once you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism." so, my information was not received with much validation. My mom-group though, several of them are well-versed in all things asd and when I told them that I thought my son and I are both autistic, they all IN UNISON said things like "Oh, yeah!" It was SO validating that it overshadowed the invalidating things said by my family.
Just subbed to your channel yesterday. I have felt an increasing internal pressure mixed with anxiety and depression for most of last week, but without understanding why. Not until I inadvertently ran across Taylor's video and for God only knows, I watched two of the videos on the 16 signs of autism in females. I think I checked 14 of them. So today I decided to take some of the quizzes you listed (5) and I literally passed each one with "flying colors." EVERY test I have taken has led me to a self-diagnosis of Autism on the spectrum. I have lived 67 years of my life without knowing that this is the invisible hand that kept slapping me down all my life. The one bit of information that hit me hardest was that 83% of females vs males with ASD have attempted or have committed suicide. This is a serious diagnosis for me which explains the culmination of my entire life. I have always felt like the black sheep of the family, was used as the family scapegoat, and to me I felt like the one they seemed to whisper about behind closed doors. Yet, I experienced more life than all of them put together. I've had women not even close to my age say how much they've been inspired by my courage to move 2700 miles across the open seas to begin a new life for myself. After receiving these results I have found such a relief knowing that there WAS something "wrong" with me. I couldn't understand nor put my finger on it until today. In truth there is NOT something wrong with me. In fact it feels like a newfound freedom within me. I see it as a strength, not as a weakness. It was the not knowing that left me feeling weak and broken, but no longer. This is fresh news for me as of today (1/20/24). Yes, I'm still processing what I have learned about myself so I'm sure there will be days. I did tell my eldest daughter today and she seemed receptive. She too has struggled with similar social relationship struggles so I think she gets it. After seeing the results for each of these tests be definitive, by the last one I actually began to laugh out loud because each score was confirming the previous test I had taken. What a relief it eventually was. Sorry for pouring out my life on this thread but you are the first people I've shared with besides my daughter. Thank you in advance for your support. My question is why do we need to tell anyone, except maybe one or two closest to us? It's not a terminal illness. It feels exhausting just reading the struggles some of you have had in sharing your diag. I just want to learn more about this for myself and then maybe, as God leads and I feel ready, but only IF I feel I want to share. A friend one time said "Only share on a need-to-know basis. Ask yourself if they need to know and why?" I look forward to learning from you all and thank you @momonthespectrum for your videos.
Something I say after I tell them is this: "I realized I didn't know anything about autism until I started reading about it. I used to say 'Oh that guy is TOTALLY on the spectrum!' (rolling my eyes), What I really should have said was 'Hey Homie!' ". This generally makes them laugh and shows I don't expect them to know or understand it without research. It helps if there is confusion. Then I tell them a few things about being autistic that counteract the cliches.
I told my parents and they were respectful but didn’t believe me. But over time they began to accept it. I didn’t have to argue or convince them because I was sure myself. My mom keeps reading books about autism now. :)
It was similar for me. My parents were respectful, but I feel that they didn't really understand what I meant. Recently, my mom say the other day: „I still don't understand what autism is“. And it's really hard to explain. It feels that when I'm explaining it, I don't believe it even myself. I don't know how to do it properly.
I am so happy that I chose NOT to share my diagnosis with my family of origin! My husband and children know, but others do not. I have found so much freedom over the past year since my diagnosis and have finally been able to set physical and emotional boundaries, which has not been easy. In the long run I know it was the right decision for me and has finally given me great peace of mind!
The 2 people I told that I suspected I might be on the spectrum, both said 'I think everyone is'. I did feel completely invalidated. They have no idea how I struggle in my inner world with things I never talk about. I realised also that when someone else had told me, I did the same thing to them, silently in my mind! It was 4 years ago and I knew nothing about ASD! I feel bad about that now, but I realise some part of me already knew that I was 'different' in my head. With so many people learning about this and recognising it in themselves, many are dismissing it as some kind of fad. I think it is rather that we are refining our understanding of the many brain differences that exist. Thank you Taylor x
I don't want to dismiss the entire video (which I LOVED) by saying this but I am LMAO at the comment about the pillow being the "perfect texture for autistic people" because my mind immediately thought "It has to be the least irritating material on the planet....#1" and then YOU said the exact same thing. THE perfect material IS the least irritating and that is exactly how I would have described what I would consider the perfect material for the autistic brain.....not irritating. Now I need that pillow (o:
Two years ago, when my daughter was diagnosed at age 16, I felt a bit apprehensive about sharing with my parents and siblings, but I felt it was important, because then she would be able to drop the mask more and more over time because they would understand why she is how she is. They were skeptical, and said some of the things that normies tend to say. I was so glad that we had gone through the process of getting a formal diagnosis, because you can’t argue with the professionals. Two years later, they are less judgmental toward her when she is overstimulated and needs to leave the room, or when she’s ticking a lot. And last week, my mom told me that she herself is autistic, which I have suspected for some time. So sharing my daughter’s diagnosis has actually helped my mom to recognize her own neurodivergence. 🙂👍🏻
It was through my grandchild’s diagnosis and our talking about it over FaceTime that I decided to seek diagnosis, myself. Too many of their symptoms were my own! The diagnosis explains SO MUCH!
I hope your daughter was ok with that. I told my parents point blank that they did not have my permission to tell the rest of our family because I don’t believe they would take it well nor continue to treat me the same.
@@Cocoanutty0 yes, my daughter was okay with that. She actually prefers that people know, because then there’s less judgement about her autistic traits.
I wish I saw this before my diagnosis. There are many people in my life who I wish I didn't tell, or broke the "news" with the methods you suggest. Thank you very much for clarifying our community's thoughts time and time again.
seeing you with your weighted pillow is SO validating for my teenage self... I spent most of my teens in therapy (of course, for the many misdiagnosis that were thrown my way before realizing I am autistic) and I always squeezed a pillow tight to my stomach during my sessions... the therapists always assumed it was an insecurity thing but I knew it helped me process everything around me better. Love this and all your videos. thanks taylor!
I’m finding that some people have a positive emotional response but genuinely don’t know what to say, and then they say something uninformed and hurtful because they feel like they have to say *something*. So before dropping the news, I’ve been telling them “if you’re not sure what to say, you can always just say thank you for sharing”. I haven’t worked up the courage to share with any difficult people yet but this has been helpful at least in the cases where I’ve shared so far!
Self diagnosed here with an autistic 8 yr old. Thank you so much for this. I’m in the middle of this process receiving very mixed responses. Have not told everybody in my life yet (not that there’s a whole bunch of them) but this video just validates everything you can expect from sharing too soon. A while back, when researching autism due to my son’s then recent diagnosis, I accidentally stumbled upon content related to undiagnosed adults, and tadaaa…I couldn’t believe how much related to me now and my past growing up. From thinking I was the only one on the planet struggling with certain things, to finding out this or that “thing” actually had a name and belonged under the autism umbrella was just such a relief that I got eager (waaaay to eager) to share my recent discoveries with my closest ones. The oversharing side of me is paying for that right now…but this video really brought comfort, great advice and hope for the rest of my journey. Thank you, Taylor. //From another mom on the spectrum ❤️
Yes! I'm reining myself in right now in regards to who I want to tell. And now I'm re-examining all my life choices and how I want to move forward with allllll this new info I have.
What’s is so hard for me is that my husband of so long - who I think is neurodivergent himself-has been finding my differences truly difficult… Thank you for doing this channel.🎉
I got diagnosed last week at 38 and my mom just lost it on me, blaming me for not considering the impact it would have on her and has just been closed up and not supportive or compassionate whatsoever, and I feel so overwhelmed by her anger that I haven't been able to process my own emotions regarding the diagnosis. I am at the point now when I have to share with her how it made me feel and I am nervous about doing so, but I know I have to. Thank you for the timing of this video and the supportive advice you gave
Really? The impact on her? And what about the impacts on you? Let alone her response. My mom wasn't better though. She told me "why do you want an assessment? Do you need money from the government just in case you are autistic? I received my diagnosis this past July. I don't think she understood what are the things that trigger me because she continues doing them. Really, I don't understand her. Because she's not a bad mom. I don't know about yours.
I wonder if she has a lot of misconceptions about autism, like does she think something she did caused it? Or that it's her fault you weren't diagnosed as a child? I know it sounds like I'm being generous, but I've learned to always try to start by giving people the benefit of the doubt. When I first read this, I transferred some feelings that might not be relevant without more context or discussion.
@@clarasamuelthomasLots of people including my psychiatrist and therapist asked me why I want to get an official diagnosis. The question itself isn't bad when it comes from curiosity, but the follow up seems to rest on a few assumptions. It could just be more curiosity or stumbling over thoughts, or it could be disdain.
I'm a year younger, and when I told my mom about my self-diagnosis I also explained to her what I knew about it so far, and she ended up thinking she may be autistic, too. It opened up a lot of dialogue between us about our childhoods which we never knew about before, despite her raising me. My point here is that if she is informed about autism and its tendency to have a hereditary element, does she think it implies she is also autistic, and that scares her because it completely changes how she views normality?
There are 3 diagnosed adults in her immediate family. But I think she thinks I am blaming her for a) being born with ASD and b) not being diagnosed as a child. It's not that I want to point fingers but I needed to know why I'm so different and that's why I did it. But yeah I think she feels blamed
Haven’t watched yet. I’ve told only a few people of my recent diagnosis (at 80). It seems that most don’t make anything of it, because they’ve known me for several years and accept me for who I am, with or without a diagnosis. Really, unless I am attending classes and want assistance for any condition (executive functioning and other aspects of my diagnosis), I believe that making others directly aware merely creates challenges for me. I often have to educate them or even justify the diagnosis. I’m currently learning to reach out for support for cleaning and organizing my condo, but making my diagnosis widely known is not my priority. For me and my family, it is confirmation. We are moving forward with that information. Thank you for this video.
I have gotten to a place where I see other people's opinions as other people's opinions and I have choices about what I think and feel about them. Even though I still get tripped up- I know that the hard feelings will fade and learning and strength will take their place. I had to work hard on creating healthy boundaries and valuing myself, to get here. It pays off! I wish for everyone to find their way to having this peace. Taylor has it right- let grace in. Grace will carry you through any of this while you are working hard to do what is good, true and beautiful. Keep the faith! You can do this!
Beautifully said! And yes these concepts are simple but not necessarily "easy." It's a process to get to a place, like you said, where you can let other people have their opinions without it affecting your own feelings/experience! But it's so liberating.
I self-diagnosed 18 months ago. At the time, I had just started my mental health journey and literally stumbled across neurodivergence. (I was watching TedTalks on PTSD, mental health, and anxiety when one of Taylor’s videos came up as suggested to watch). Almost immediately, I shared with my mom that I’m neurodivergent (more than autism alone). Me being a psychology major with an emphasis in clinical mental health, she wasn’t too surprised. But I know it’s not something I can share with my dad, even if I get a formal diagnosis. He’s a mental health denier and doesn’t understand why I’m putting myself through college to become a mental health counselor. If he doesn’t understand something as simple as that, he’d go full attack mode if I dared tell him that I’m autistic.
I was just recently let go from a job that didn't see me, nor attempt to understand me as a self-diagnosed autistic person. Your videos do help in trying to remind myself that it's not my fault and I'm worthy of love and compassion.
In general, I'd say not to disclose a self-diagnosis to an employer. A professional diagnosis, if disclosed to them, creates legal obligations for them under the ADA, so disclosing a self-diagnosis is almost certain to come across as trying to cash in on those obligations without having the paperwork to back it up.
One of the most invalidating things that people say when you trust them enough to share your diagnosis with them, is "Oh, everyone is on the Spectrum a little bit..". It often makes those of us who actually ARE, feel very minimalized. I was telling this to a good friend of mine who happens to be a Black fellow. He is one of the kindest people I know. He sat and listened to me vent, then he said "They don't get that autism is about how you are wired and how you process information... NOT about the little quirks. That would be like me sharing something about being Black with a non-black person, and having them say 'Well, we're ALL a little Black. I have really good rhythm... and Steve over there, he's a really good basketball player'. Yeah, I can see how insulting and invalidating it can be." Wow! I had never heard it put in that context before, but he made me feel "seen" and "heard".
The biggest issue I have is that I lose almost all perception of my volume when I'm stressed out, so people think I'm yelling. I had someone tell me they felt like getting violent because they thought I was screaming at them, and refused to acknowledge that I'm not in control of it. (While I feel that response is absolutely unacceptable, I told them to just tell me if I'm talking too loud.) It is so frustrating when people ignore what I say in favor of what they think my tone of voice is saying.
@@alisonwall5459 Yeah, I've always had issues for the same reason, my dad would think I was angry, or raising my voice at him when I was frustrated, nervous or even just feeling good or excited. People would always tell me to talk quieter when I was talking about my special interest. I've finally learned more about autism and can implement strategies to improve my communication. I was diagnosed at a young age with aspergers but never got any support until I was in college and didn't learn much about it until just a month or so ago.
@@chesneymigl4538🙄 Same here! My relative, who I had to live with for several months, would tell me I was YELLING, when I believed my voice was one small step above a quiet conversational tone. Just enough to express mild annoyance or upset but a long way from full blown anger YELL.
Appreciate all your videos Taylor. After years of "knowing" I was autistic I finally got tested and officially diagnosed in the summer of 2022. I'm still working through both the relief and sense of grief that has followed in the wake of the diagnosis. As someone also diagnosed late I'm still working through who I really am and how my life will unfold moving forward. I have been very open with people in my life about my diagnosis and to a large extent they have been super supportive. Really appreciate finding this community. Jeff
Thanks Taylor for the insightful videos on your channel that I have watched so far. I was assessed for autism in July, and at 53 years old feel as though I have a lot to understand, navigate newly and recalibrate in my life. This video and others of yours all contain such useful information.
You are so helpful with navigating this maze of autism, and mis and disinformation. Thank you for the work you have done on this, some seen on camera and the unseen work you put in for us!!! Just wanted to let you know you've made an enormous difference ❤
Taylor, you are wise beyond your years. A GREAT video with great ideas. Thank you. I've had to unload a couple of long-term friends because of abuse but feel so much better now and don't miss them AT ALL. Most of my true friends have been supportive. My neighbor totally invalidated me tho'. I told her because if something happened (complete shutdown), I wanted her to know what was going on. I live by myself so communication with others is important. I was really angry at the time but I've learned to look at it as HER problem, not mine.
Exactly. It has been a game changer for me to let other people have their own experiences without feeling like I need to intervene or "fix" things. And yes, once you get rid of relationships that were harming you it's amazing how much lighter you can feel!
I feel like we could use a shorthand to cover age and diagnosis age like "F/65/63" (female, age 65, diagnosed 63). For me, it's important to know where people are in their journey when viewing comments. But, only if they are comfortable doing so. How does everyone feel about this?
To better remember the data : F/A99/D99, so A for age and D for diagnosed. If people are fine sharing this public. Be aware that TH-cam is VERY public. Health data is critical data.
I have been freaking out since I realized that being autistic could be my a reason for my struggle after a therapist suggested it and then I opened the floodgates with research...and I wonder about when/if/how to tell my job. And I'm in full tilt trying to figure this out
I tell people I'm autistic. At worst, it changes nothing. I hope that some of my audience understand something of autism and understand that I may seem a little weird. Weird is good, it's different. My photography is different too, and I like that.
I got diagnosed with autism last year at the age of 30. The only person I told was my wife and for a while that was it. I ended up telling two other people that weren’t family and it went better than I thought. But I’ve yet to tell my parents and sister because I’m afraid of their reactions. I’m glad you made this video and it makes me feel like I’m not alone.
This is such good advice. You are amazing. Definitely think about what you hope to gain. There are some people that are worth sharing your diagnosis with. But it is absolutely your choice. I wish I had chosen more wisely. I made the mistaking of sharing my diagnosis hoping that the other person would start treating me a bit more compassion and understanding. Huge mistake. They took it as proof that there was "something wrong with me" and proceeded to degrade and devalue me about it every chance they got. Don't share if the person is a bully. I wish I’d gotten this advice beforehand. But, on the positive side, you’re doing a wonderful thing to share this with people - I’m sure this will be a benefit to many people. And just because my experience was negative doesn't mean it will be for other people. Every relationship is different.
I am on the height spectrum. Taller than the average adult male, a whisker shorter than Lauren Jackson. I am on the weight spectrum. About optimum for my height and build. I am on the age spectrum, moving along quite nicely, thank you. Old, but few age-related - or any really -concerns. I am on the health spectrum. Pretty well, and that's before considering my age. I get few easily transmissible diseases, I've even avoided Covid-19. A lot of people my age have had replacement hips, repairs to knees and shoulders. I've had a few corneal grafts, that's it. I can still walk ten to twenty km in a day.
Thank you for these thoughtfull advices ! I'm on my way to be diagnosed, it is soooo long in France, I have time to think about sharing or not. But I'll be prepared : i have about a year of waiting now.
I told my family I was seeking a diagnosis for scholarships and accommodations because they don't seem to understand my need for validation. Note... none of my family doubts my autism, they just think that I shouldn't and don't need to get diagnosed
I shared with everyone. My MIL asked if I could just take a pill so I could mask my autism symptoms. 🤦♀. Another family member said my self diagnosis wasn't valid and they didn't believe me until I got my formal diagnosis.
Thank you so much for all you do. You have helped me significantly. Im 38 now going dor my diagnosis. This is going to make everything so much easier😢❤its been so hard 😭 Much love❤
Can’t wait to watch later! 🎉❤ I’ve been cheering myself up listening to podcasts 😊. Have you listened to Glennon Doyle, we can do hard things? I love it! She should have you as a guest!
Taylor, I am so grateful for this community and the information you share. You were my initial source and, while I'm still in the 'figuring it all out' stage (does that ever really end, lol?), I am so much further along in understanding myself than I was last July. Thank you.
Unlike most girls/women on the spectrum, I was diagnosed as a kid and some of the things that I have learned about sharing my diagnosis: 1. Don’t tell random strangers about your autism/Be careful who you share your diagnosis with because they might use it against you 2. You don’t owe anyone an explanation 3. If the people you told don’t accept your autism then they don’t actually care about you 4. You are more than your diagnosis And something that a dear friend of mine told me last week 5. You’re not less of a person because of your autism. Bonus: I personally don’t share my autism with people, unless I feel safe with that person
I'm having problems deciphering what I want, how to express myself, who I want to "be with" "for the rest of my life." *internally screaming and running in circles*
there are so many of us! there's a growing population of us online, through different social media platforms, discord, online support groups. I list a lot of options for connection in my Big Autistic Resource Guide www.momonthespectrum.life/the-big-autistic-resource-guide
@MomontheSpectrum Can anything spoken about "Autistic Community" be proven or disproven? I fear the use of this term. This is why: A Video states: "It is generally agreed upon by the Autistic Community that Strawberry is the best flavor of Ice Cream." And the Video has a link to buy Ice Cream. Videos like this exist. It's less obvious, but something is being sold. This is the kind of wording that misleads Autistics. It's one of the many ways this world screws us over. And it's why my channel exists.
You might want to delete my comments. I don't want to damage your brand. I plan to make serious waves about this type of misleading information towards Autistics. Because the use of the phrase "Autistic Community" is, in my opinion, paramount to false advertising. I view you as a hero or champion of autism, and this world needs that. I'm here to destroy those trying to exploit us. But doing so will enevitably destroy my own reputation, which I'm more than willing to do to so the younger generations don't have to go through what I did.
Awesome video! Recently diagnosed, and I’m thinking a lot about how or if to tell my family. Question - my family doctor wasn’t part of my diagnosis process. Should I inform them? Is this something I should have on my medical file?
I tried to tell my brother and he fully dismissed me. I love him very much. But he's always been very hard on me. It's ironic because most of his complaints about me are literally symptoms of the autism. He's highly intelligent but it's gone way over his head. I've also got my suspicions that he is also autistic, and that we get it from our mother.
What size pillow did you buy? I am psychologist with lots of autistic clients and wondering what size I should get. I have kids, teens, and adults...I may need two, but which one do you have?
I feel comfortable sharing my diagnosis with others, like friends and random people, but i still haven't told my parents about it. I just expect them saying, No, you can't be, it's only your imagination, which is heartbreaking
I tried to get the weighted pillow that you have, but they don't ship to Canada! 😢 I can't find anything quite like it here. I absolutely love my weighted blanket and thought a pillow would be great to take with me when I'm not in bed.
I really would like to come out to my in-laws. What do I expect from them? I guess I want them to understand that I can't and I don't want to invite them over for dinner, like they always want me to. I want them to understand, that it's difficult for me to have guests over, even if the guests are my good friends. In-laws cause me even more anxiety. They are really intimidating to me, and very loud. They always shout, and they have a dog, which they always yell at loudly. I always feel SO anxious around them, like I'm always on my tip-toes. I'm afraid to talk to them, even when they ask me something. Their reactions to everything I say make me even more unable to say anything. They are mocking my interests, they are mocking my food that I prepare, they are mocking the fact that I don't eat onions and many other foods. I just don't know how to cope with them existing.
This is the problem. "action intention". For instance, if a person never actually discusses intentions verbally and its all based on some sort of expectation based on information which is not passed on to the autistic causes, not only "action intention" problems, but also "processing" issues. Which, of course, every autistic is well aware of, and completely understands, situations such as this. Because, I am well spoken, intelligent, extroverted in social situations and very humorous, it never fails to shock people to find out not only I'm autistic, but also that I really do have issues when a person isn't being exactly clear as to their intentions. So, this is why I completely disagree with the mirror neuron argument because, as this states, there are deficits in automatic mimicry, not in voluntary mimicry. Based on the current knowledge, we assume that participants with ASDs experience (i) MNS impairments, (ii) deficits in automatic mimicry of facial expressions but not in voluntary mimicry, (iii) deficits in recognizing emotional facial expressions, (iv) deficits in understanding action intention and its vitality form, which may overall cause (v) severe deficits in social interaction and social decision making. Taken together, our ability to understand (i) the social context, (ii) emotions of others, (iii) the intent of the motor actions, and (iv) the vitality forms is necessary to make appropriate social decisions. Despite these remarkable findings, it remains unclear whether there is a link between social decision making and the impairment of the MNS. Approaching this question remains elusive due to our limited knowledge of the neural mechanisms involved in the interaction between the MNS, motor control, and social decision making. Based on the current knowledge, we assume that participants with ASDs experience (i) MNS impairments, (ii) deficits in automatic mimicry of facial expressions but not in voluntary mimicry, (iii) deficits in recognizing emotional facial expressions, (iv) deficits in understanding action intention and its vitality form, which may overall cause (v) severe deficits in social interaction and social decision making. It is therefore plausible to assume a neurophysiological interaction between the pathways responsible for the MNS, imitative behavior, motor action, and social decision making. Based on the current studies, we suggest a multilayer neural network model including the MNS on a first layer and transforming this information to a higher layer network responsible for reasoning (cf. Figure 1). Reasoning about others’ mental states mainly activates a putative “mind‐reading network” that is formed by the prefrontal cortex, anterior cingulate cortex (ACC), and the temporoparietal junction (TPJ).43, 44, 45, 46, 70 Future studies with ASD participants combining behavioral tasks with neuroimaging methods and transcranial brain stimulation as well as computational modeling can help validate and complement this suggested model.
Most people in the comments here have problems with their parents. Well, my diagnosis is with my 24 yr old son. He thinks autism, dislexia, similar is just labels and doesn't mean anything. Since getting my diagnosis our relationship is nearly non existent
I recently discovered that both my teens are on the spectrum. I doubt I will ever tell my parents. My mother is very much the type that will blame vaccines and then try to tell me that keto will fix it. ( no disrespect to those that do keto. I very much believe people should follow whatever eating plan makes them feel best. It’s just that my mother gets very pushy with it and thinks keto will cure everything.)
I disclosed to my boss and he actually took it fine. Later on, when I told HR, one of the very first things that HR rep said to me was, "you can't just be rude and blame it on autism!" I have not responded, the HR supervisor has ignored me, and I'm at a point where I don't ever want to speak to either of these people again.
What a paradox 😆 that statement is inherently rude! Just remember HR is a position created to buffer management. HR has been useless at almost every job I've had (different careers as well) save one. I hope this comment cheers you. (Apologies to the good HR folks out there! 😅)
Hey, I'm having a hard time right now, and there's a particular dilemma I'm experiencing right now. I was wondering if you could help me out? I've taken a break from home, since I've realized how difficult my experience around them has been, before i discovered i was autistic. They were invalidating to my depression diagnosis and only accepted it when i was experiencing seizures, a full shutdown and was bed ridden for days with a couple of (for the sake of sensitivity) many "dire" moments. All throughout I was going through a spiritual crisis as well, as I do lean on that end of an autistic person. There was a point i went through a breakthrough, and the conditions I felt stable and above all I'd been going through. Sadly, we had a spiritual talk (I'm chrisian by the way) which was one on one with me, and later, one on one with my little brother, and they had this to say about me: (1)that I was immature and of a seductive nature around guys and that's why i experience all the depression and epilepsy, panick attacks etc. I've never been in a relationship before. Btw. (2)They said I'm clearly still a "patient" which invalidated my own communication about me finally being alright, which had always previously been announced by them, despite my anxiety that it wasn't the case. They said I'd have no luck with men because of my history, so i should give up the idea of marriage. I'm 22, and while I'm not in a relationship i do have a love interest. Lastly, they told my brother that I'm crazy, and other things they made him promise not to tell me. The reason this all happened? They were advising my brother against getting baptized using his weaknesses as an excuse and that he'll have to give up his interests and other false information, all to stall until they thought he was ready and make sure he gets baptized at their preferred church in another city. My brother made his choice and got batized at a church in the neighborhood which we attend separate from our parents. My older brother left the church years ago and was the black sheep of the family. Not the whole family is in a dysfunction. Eventually I've learnt that my parent's have been more on the manipulating, managing and invalidating end of my life, and they use spiritualism to deflect their own mental disabilities. Our family has been subject to many labels and i see it more clearly now. Naturally, I took sleeping over at a married church friend's house just to get away from it all. It's only been a few months since this all transpired, along with my love interest confessing i had (ver unknowingly) blown them off sometime and after about a year had found the closest thing to me in someone else who he is in a relationship with, which he's satisfied with, and later on decided to respectfully cut me off for the sake of his partner, which i understand... But has ultimately left me trusting nothing but God and timing, the autistic community. The more i know about what's actually normal for me, the more easy I'm taking things as an expression of gentleness to myself. No day is easy, but i feel the sense of patience for me burning out from my friend - the woman of the house. She's more of a gove yourself a break but don't take to long and get over it kind of person. She's also not good at considering my sensitive issues enough not to keep them private or take my own diagnosis seriously. Already she's addressed my routines as bad manners, and i respect and understand that. It's just I'm not willing to compromise right now as my body is still having a hard time, thus the urgency to either go home again, which is hard, or communicate a bit. I just feel like I'm in a crisis and it's hard to see that I'm not in a spot right now. Sorry it's so long but thanks for taking your time
Does your channel turn the subtitles on? When I start your vids and after ads the CC is always on and I have to turn it off 😅 Is that something I'm doing?! They are really distracting. It only happens here 😅 Anyways thanks for the vid! :D
My family isn't surprised that I have autism, but my daughter seems disturbed by it. Like she doesn't understand how I could need so much help when there's nothing physically wrong with me. So I said it is like if she tried to force herself to touch a hot stove and how the brain stops you. For me I can't do things. But because I'm 37 and have been making forever I know it's got to be weird for me to be being different. She's supportive, but idk it seems forced. I feel guilty for sharing and trying to do what I know I have to. Like maybe I should have just keep pretending. Or maybe I should just leave? Like I feel like a burden. And yeah I'm depressed. I'm my way of being that way. Sorry I'm rambling. Thanks for you video
This is just venting but I know this is a supportive community - I wish I hadn’t learnt so much about autism. Now I feel that my symptoms are worse, I know this comes along with learning more about yourself and unmasking, but I feel like it’s gone farther than just that and my symptoms really are worse, not simply unmasked. I wish I was still ignorant so I wasn’t experiencing this. I am not diagnosed so I need to try and see if I can get a diagnosis but it is daunting. Additionally, with knowledge about autism and no diagnosis yet I am constantly questioning if I am autistic or not (if my “symptoms” are actually symptoms). I just wish I didn’t have these things on my mind.
Normal people will just avoid interact with me like I have the plague, or will apparently walk on eggshells to not upset me as if i could hurt them if they do not talk to me with a'sweet' (read fake) voice and will have to agree with me like I'm insane. I had a meltdown in the middle of the office bathroom because my shift got changed and nobody warned me beforehand so I had to rush to work with no transitions and I was even talked down to and called 'a princess' by a superior when I dared to exclaim 'at least warn me!' I will have to go back to work next Monday and can you already tell I'm not mentally read for any difficult kinds of conversations about why I started crying and rocking back and forth and scream loud if somebody tried to touch me? Yay, happy Monday to me :/
Leviathan is a great movie AND Deep Star Six. Well, great in a B-movie, cheesy, popcorn flick way. I love B movies. I always watch them together. The perfect deep sea research station monster movie mayhem double feature. I've been doing the L,DSS double creature feature since they were first released on DVD back in the day. Of course, that was 1989, the year I graduated High School and then left home, and my girlfriend, for nearly 2 years and fought in Desert Storm, because, you know, I'm as red blooded American as red blooded Americans get without being a psychotic extremist who attempts to violently overthrow the government.
I have people in my family ie my mom and dad wholl just say im normal and that i dont have autism. I feel a bit sad now that im realizing i have autism, that no one even helped me and still continue to not help. They wont be accommodating me in anyway... is it normal for women with autism to have higher then normal expectations? I feel like i run on expectations usually and get hurt doing that.
Edit my problem Mostly worked itself out and the person who was causing me alot of stress doesn't work there anymore Hey I've Commented once before on one of your short videos I have a problem its pretty big to me and it's related to this video it has to do with a social situation at my work a person who is posing as one of my bosses at my very part time job I've tried to explain to her that the way she is approaching me is very scary and stressful to me and I've tried to explain to her my autism and how it affects me she didn't really get it or understand very well at all the way she approaches me in her speech is very pushy..another contributing factor is she's a distant cousin of mine and she is alot older than me probably in her 50's?? Idk she keeps her youth real well she might be older idk but because she's lived alot longer than me (I'm barely 20 years old) she is trying to give me her advice for my personal life but her "suggestions" almost seem to be being forced down my throat..I think she means well and cares about me but we barely know each other and I think it's a little rude for her to be putting all that pressure and expectation on me for my personal life like I didn't ask to be micromanaged now if she was just telling what to do pertaining to work related stuff I would have no problem with that..but she practically gave me homework for my personal life that I don't actually want to do rn or maybe ever because I'm still working on basic adult life stuff like I still don't have my driver's license or a car of any sort and I still live with my parents I do not have time to concentrate on maybe possibly dreams of becoming a christian musical artist rn let me know if yall need more context hopefully that was enough information to work with I've never really try to reach out much to the autism community...idk I guess I just get anxious or something but like yall are my people we have alot of the same issues I was diagnosed with autism in March I turned 20 last month (October) so I'm still kinda learning about myself and how my autism affects me also I had an Autism regression due to trauma that is why I was diagnosed so late in life Let me know if u guys can give me any advice that could help because I'm very stressed and anxious all the time around her and she triggers my mutism with her pushy-ness like I can only put up with this for so long if if some major improvements aren't made I will definitely be quitting my job I haven't gone to my main boss about it because he doesn't really understand autism either unfortunately..I can tell he really cares about me tho and he doesn't make me feel scared or stress me out very much at cuz he's very laid back he's not really pushy..so far I think he sees autism as more of a confidence or discipline issue rather than just how my brain operates same with the other lady that I work with they just don't seem to get it I had a meltdown one day as he was driving me home after work it was super fast and busy and so riding in cars at night can be very scary for me so I had a meltdown I think he was more traumatized than me from my meltdown my boss didn't know what to do he talked to my mom lol..but after that he was slightly more accepting to the way I want to communicate with him via text cuz I'm great at texting 😊 and he said I could text him and he'll read it we had a meeting together me and him (I work in food truck very small business also he is a distant cousin aswell) and he said that he understands that I'm going to have hard days but then turns around and says that I just have to push past my autism??? And we all know that is impossible so that tells me he doesn't really get it either but I truly think he at least cares about me cuz he changed my hours to morning shift and he even noticed that I do better when I'm doing one task at a time so I just basically do dishes now so he might be able to become more understanding You made a comment in this video that stood out to me how some people say that's probably my autism or everyone's a little Autistic but ur right I feel very invalidated when he says that Hopefully this easy to follow I'm not sure if I'm jumping all over the place or not Also I use to work at a sonic drive in and that is just a terrible atmosphere for an Autistic individual it's literally one of the most fast paced switching to 50 different tasks at once and lots of loud noises...I worked there for 3 months because I didn't know I was Autistic...It caused me to have meltdowns every single day for hours and sometimes multiple times a day I was not sleeping at all...and also was going through alot of crap with my family stuff and was not living with my parents at the time because I was scared to stay at my house and I was living with my Aunt for about two months my meltdowns were so severe they looked like seizures (also didn't know I was Autistic then..lol..) I just know I'm not going to go back to a place like that in my health I'm making my emotional and mental health and just overall well being a priority in my life So if yall got any ideas to see if I can make this work out so I don't have to quit that would be great BUT I will quit if it's necessary ik I can't deal with alot of stress on a daily basis I have a lot of good friends and an aunt who really support me so they're helping me aswell Anywhos let me know! -a fellow Autistic lol😂
Idk but God got me thru that situation and I don't work with that lady anymore but thanks for commenting honestly don't remember half of what I wrote I should go back and read it so I can figure out what that inner wise woman of mine is telling me lol
That weighted pillow is $179 - $200. Yikes! (I checked Amazon; no weighted pillows there, but there are small weighted stuffed animals that would be good for kids. I think I'll wait.)
You don’t think that is your responsibility to tell for example to your future husband and family in law that you have autism , the big responsibility because in your future marriage you will have kids as a possibility , so having autism is like if you have cancer you have to tell or heart disease or any physical condition , if your future husband and family they would see if they accept you or not right ? Am I wrong?
You are inspirational and amazing 🤩 but.. Iwanttoinformyouthatwhenyouareeditingoutthepauseswhenyouspeakitsliketryingtoreadmycommenthere! It becomes too much, no time for processing.
@@littlestbroccoli Do your own research. Keep an open mind. You'll learn 99% of psychology is bogus. The replication crisis is just the tip of the iceberg. The field consist of a series of parallel fads. I don't know why so many people are so gullible.
![ILLSLICK - KILLSHOT REMIX [FULL VERSION]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/RIK8RrqIAzE/mqdefault.jpg)
I so wish I could. I kept my father out of the loop throughout the whole diagnostic process earlier this year and he still doesn't know. He's very old school and doesn't even believe depression is a real, measurable illness, (that I've struggled with since I was literally 12), let alone something like this. I had great grades when i was young so he'd never accept my now ADD diagnosis (I'm almost 41 and got diagnosed in february) OR my newfound autism diagnosis, despite teachers telling my parents as early as first grade that something was wrong. Some people just aren't open to the truth, no matter how pragmatic you try to be about it.
Yes it’s true unfortunately. So sorry you had to go through this.
Some parents just don't want to admit that there is something wrong with THEM since this is an inherited trait or that they gave it to you, so to speak.
@vivianstewart7523 Most of the time, anyway. I'm still not sure, in my case.
@@vivianstewart7523 I'm autistic. That means I'm very different from "normal" people. I'm not unwell, there's nothing wrong with me, I'm just autistic.
I'm sure Temple Grandin was a difficult child, just look at her now!
I recommend you buy and read her book, The Autistic Brain. Then ask your father to read it. Amongst other things, it shows MRI images showing physical differences between her brain and typical ones
She doesn't want to be "cured' either.
I can absolutely relate to that, I told my mum knowing that she wouldn't understand or believe me as she has the same opinion about depression and other mental illnesses as your dad...it was a very difficult situation to tell the truth but it helped me not to ask myself how she would react, cause I now know how she reacted...anyway no recommendation or anything just my personal experience and letting you know that you're not alone in facing these struggles... just take your time to find out what is best for you
Talking with my parents about my diagnosis (at age 39!) has been interesting, but NOT because I would generally characterize them as "difficult people" AT ALL. It's just that where they struggled and where they didn't were often surprising.
To set the stage, I almost self-diagnosed at age 12 when I found an article about kids with Aspergers (as it was called at the time) entitled "little professors". I took it to my parents like: "Doesn't this sound like me?" And they were like: "Well, but WE'RE professors, so of course that would kind of sound like you. There's nothing wrong with you, don't worry about it."
So that was the thing - the tendency to dismiss came from the perspective of "you're not 'disordered'; you're great the way you are and anyone who can't see that is a moron." Which is very sweet, and honestly being diagnosed in the 1990s might have done more harm than good. Because, purely on instinct, they tended to do the right things: being supportive of my special interests, being tolerant of some of my odd but harmless habits, explaining social expectations in words I could understand, etc...
I've been trying to impress that upon my mom, who reacted to my diagnosis with guilt that she couldn't see that there was this thing going on with me that was contributing to making my school life difficult and so on. So I had to spend some time comforting her, like: "Nah, nah...you guys did exactly the kind of things that would NOW be recommended. Other kids being assholes is not your fault!"
I thought my dad might have more trouble with it, given that he and I are more similar personality-wise (and that can lead to denial)...completely forgetting that I'd already had a long conversation with him about the research I'd been doing into how autism presents in women that had been triggered by identifying deeply with the character of Entrapta from 'She-ra'. So he was actually quite ready to accept it, and to get into the kind of analytical conversations we both love about it. What was a little hard was finding out through those conversations that, even though he'd been DOING the right things (from my perspective), his assumptions about what was going on in my head at certain moments was actually pretty far off! Because, while we are similar...he isn't autistic.
So if I said things like "Yeah, sometimes when I don't answer a question about emotions right away, it isn't that I'm holding back or don't want to, I'm just PROCESSING"...he needed an explanation of "processing" because his brain doesn't do that (whereas I heard that term and IMMEDIATELY knew what it meant!). Or finding out that he thought I cried so much because I was sensitive or genuinely super sad...when actually it just seems to be a physiological response to being a bit overwhelmed with some combo of sensory environment, social demands, and/or processing emotions into words (I never would have survived school if I was SENSITIVE).
But I look forward to having more of those conversations, even if they are hard, because it is always fascinating (to me, anyway) to compare notes on how brains work.
I work in a mental health team and it's actually been the people I most expected to be judegemental who have been the most accepting and understanding. Like my manager who I thought might dismiss me as she can be quite 'cold' was actually incredibly supportive. But let's just say I was inredibly shocked that when I disclosed my autism diagnosis to a psychologist within the team, who I thought I trusted, said: 'I can't believe you're autistic, I'd never have guessed, you're the last person I'd have thought of who'd be diagnosed with autism!'
I was left feeling so embaressed and invalidated. It really does only take one negative exeprience despite many positive ones of disclosing your diagnosis to put you off ever wanting to talk about it again. People need to do better.
Self-dx and also self-dxed my son. Because my nephew's officially dxed autism is more obvious my family has yet to learn that "Once you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism." so, my information was not received with much validation. My mom-group though, several of them are well-versed in all things asd and when I told them that I thought my son and I are both autistic, they all IN UNISON said things like "Oh, yeah!" It was SO validating that it overshadowed the invalidating things said by my family.
Just subbed to your channel yesterday. I have felt an increasing internal pressure mixed with anxiety and depression for most of last week, but without understanding why. Not until I inadvertently ran across Taylor's video and for God only knows, I watched two of the videos on the 16 signs of autism in females. I think I checked 14 of them. So today I decided to take some of the quizzes you listed (5) and I literally passed each one with "flying colors."
EVERY test I have taken has led me to a self-diagnosis of Autism on the spectrum. I have lived 67 years of my life without knowing that this is the invisible hand that kept slapping me down all my life. The one bit of information that hit me hardest was that 83% of females vs males with ASD have attempted or have committed suicide. This is a serious diagnosis for me which explains the culmination of my entire life. I have always felt like the black sheep of the family, was used as the family scapegoat, and to me I felt like the one they seemed to whisper about behind closed doors. Yet, I experienced more life than all of them put together. I've had women not even close to my age say how much they've been inspired by my courage to move 2700 miles across the open seas to begin a new life for myself. After receiving these results I have found such a relief knowing that there WAS something "wrong" with me. I couldn't understand nor put my finger on it until today. In truth there is NOT something wrong with me. In fact it feels like a newfound freedom within me. I see it as a strength, not as a weakness. It was the not knowing that left me feeling weak and broken, but no longer.
This is fresh news for me as of today (1/20/24). Yes, I'm still processing what I have learned about myself so I'm sure there will be days. I did tell my eldest daughter today and she seemed receptive. She too has struggled with similar social relationship struggles so I think she gets it.
After seeing the results for each of these tests be definitive, by the last one I actually began to laugh out loud because each score was confirming the previous test I had taken. What a relief it eventually was. Sorry for pouring out my life on this thread but you are the first people I've shared with besides my daughter. Thank you in advance for your support.
My question is why do we need to tell anyone, except maybe one or two closest to us? It's not a terminal illness. It feels exhausting just reading the struggles some of you have had in sharing your diag. I just want to learn more about this for myself and then maybe, as God leads and I feel ready, but only IF I feel I want to share. A friend one time said "Only share on a need-to-know basis. Ask yourself if they need to know and why?"
I look forward to learning from you all and thank you @momonthespectrum for your videos.
Something I say after I tell them is this:
"I realized I didn't know anything about autism until I started reading about it. I used to say 'Oh that guy is TOTALLY on the spectrum!' (rolling my eyes), What I really should have said was 'Hey Homie!' ".
This generally makes them laugh and shows I don't expect them to know or understand it without research. It helps if there is confusion. Then I tell them a few things about being autistic that counteract the cliches.
So glad you are finding your own voice and ways to communicate!
I told my parents and they were respectful but didn’t believe me. But over time they began to accept it. I didn’t have to argue or convince them because I was sure myself. My mom keeps reading books about autism now. :)
It was similar for me. My parents were respectful, but I feel that they didn't really understand what I meant. Recently, my mom say the other day: „I still don't understand what autism is“. And it's really hard to explain. It feels that when I'm explaining it, I don't believe it even myself. I don't know how to do it properly.
I am so happy that I chose NOT to share my diagnosis with my family of origin! My husband and children know, but others do not. I have found so much freedom over the past year since my diagnosis and have finally been able to set physical and emotional boundaries, which has not been easy. In the long run I know it was the right decision for me and has finally given me great peace of mind!
The 2 people I told that I suspected I might be on the spectrum, both said 'I think everyone is'. I did feel completely invalidated. They have no idea how I struggle in my inner world with things I never talk about. I realised also that when someone else had told me, I did the same thing to them, silently in my mind! It was 4 years ago and I knew nothing about ASD! I feel bad about that now, but I realise some part of me already knew that I was 'different' in my head. With so many people learning about this and recognising it in themselves, many are dismissing it as some kind of fad. I think it is rather that we are refining our understanding of the many brain differences that exist. Thank you Taylor x
I don't want to dismiss the entire video (which I LOVED) by saying this but I am LMAO at the comment about the pillow being the "perfect texture for autistic people" because my mind immediately thought "It has to be the least irritating material on the planet....#1" and then YOU said the exact same thing. THE perfect material IS the least irritating and that is exactly how I would have described what I would consider the perfect material for the autistic brain.....not irritating. Now I need that pillow (o:
Two years ago, when my daughter was diagnosed at age 16, I felt a bit apprehensive about sharing with my parents and siblings, but I felt it was important, because then she would be able to drop the mask more and more over time because they would understand why she is how she is. They were skeptical, and said some of the things that normies tend to say. I was so glad that we had gone through the process of getting a formal diagnosis, because you can’t argue with the professionals. Two years later, they are less judgmental toward her when she is overstimulated and needs to leave the room, or when she’s ticking a lot. And last week, my mom told me that she herself is autistic, which I have suspected for some time. So sharing my daughter’s diagnosis has actually helped my mom to recognize her own neurodivergence. 🙂👍🏻
It was through my grandchild’s diagnosis and our talking about it over FaceTime that I decided to seek diagnosis, myself. Too many of their symptoms were my own!
The diagnosis explains SO MUCH!
I hope your daughter was ok with that. I told my parents point blank that they did not have my permission to tell the rest of our family because I don’t believe they would take it well nor continue to treat me the same.
@@Cocoanutty0 yes, my daughter was okay with that. She actually prefers that people know, because then there’s less judgement about her autistic traits.
@@Cocoanutty0My thoughts exactly. I would’ve run away from home if my mother did that to me. Especially at age 16!
I wish I saw this before my diagnosis. There are many people in my life who I wish I didn't tell, or broke the "news" with the methods you suggest. Thank you very much for clarifying our community's thoughts time and time again.
seeing you with your weighted pillow is SO validating for my teenage self... I spent most of my teens in therapy (of course, for the many misdiagnosis that were thrown my way before realizing I am autistic) and I always squeezed a pillow tight to my stomach during my sessions... the therapists always assumed it was an insecurity thing but I knew it helped me process everything around me better. Love this and all your videos. thanks taylor!
I’m finding that some people have a positive emotional response but genuinely don’t know what to say, and then they say something uninformed and hurtful because they feel like they have to say *something*.
So before dropping the news, I’ve been telling them “if you’re not sure what to say, you can always just say thank you for sharing”.
I haven’t worked up the courage to share with any difficult people yet but this has been helpful at least in the cases where I’ve shared so far!
I LOVE that idea. I may use that in the future 🙏🏼
Wow, this is such a good suggestion
Self diagnosed here with an autistic 8 yr old. Thank you so much for this. I’m in the middle of this process receiving very mixed responses. Have not told everybody in my life yet (not that there’s a whole bunch of them) but this video just validates everything you can expect from sharing too soon.
A while back, when researching autism due to my son’s then recent diagnosis, I accidentally stumbled upon content related to undiagnosed adults, and tadaaa…I couldn’t believe how much related to me now and my past growing up. From thinking I was the only one on the planet struggling with certain things, to finding out this or that “thing” actually had a name and belonged under the autism umbrella was just such a relief that I got eager (waaaay to eager) to share my recent discoveries with my closest ones. The oversharing side of me is paying for that right now…but this video really brought comfort, great advice and hope for the rest of my journey. Thank you, Taylor. //From another mom on the spectrum ❤️
Yes! I'm reining myself in right now in regards to who I want to tell. And now I'm re-examining all my life choices and how I want to move forward with allllll this new info I have.
Your response echoes to what l'm experiencing right now. It helps me to think i'm not alone. From a french mum on the spectrum too.
What’s is so hard for me is that my husband of so long - who I think is neurodivergent himself-has been finding my differences truly difficult…
Thank you for doing this channel.🎉
I got diagnosed last week at 38 and my mom just lost it on me, blaming me for not considering the impact it would have on her and has just been closed up and not supportive or compassionate whatsoever, and I feel so overwhelmed by her anger that I haven't been able to process my own emotions regarding the diagnosis. I am at the point now when I have to share with her how it made me feel and I am nervous about doing so, but I know I have to. Thank you for the timing of this video and the supportive advice you gave
Really? The impact on her? And what about the impacts on you? Let alone her response. My mom wasn't better though. She told me "why do you want an assessment? Do you need money from the government just in case you are autistic?
I received my diagnosis this past July. I don't think she understood what are the things that trigger me because she continues doing them.
Really, I don't understand her. Because she's not a bad mom. I don't know about yours.
I wonder if she has a lot of misconceptions about autism, like does she think something she did caused it? Or that it's her fault you weren't diagnosed as a child?
I know it sounds like I'm being generous, but I've learned to always try to start by giving people the benefit of the doubt. When I first read this, I transferred some feelings that might not be relevant without more context or discussion.
@@clarasamuelthomasLots of people including my psychiatrist and therapist asked me why I want to get an official diagnosis. The question itself isn't bad when it comes from curiosity, but the follow up seems to rest on a few assumptions. It could just be more curiosity or stumbling over thoughts, or it could be disdain.
I'm a year younger, and when I told my mom about my self-diagnosis I also explained to her what I knew about it so far, and she ended up thinking she may be autistic, too. It opened up a lot of dialogue between us about our childhoods which we never knew about before, despite her raising me.
My point here is that if she is informed about autism and its tendency to have a hereditary element, does she think it implies she is also autistic, and that scares her because it completely changes how she views normality?
There are 3 diagnosed adults in her immediate family. But I think she thinks I am blaming her for a) being born with ASD and b) not being diagnosed as a child. It's not that I want to point fingers but I needed to know why I'm so different and that's why I did it. But yeah I think she feels blamed
Haven’t watched yet.
I’ve told only a few people of my recent diagnosis (at 80). It seems that most don’t make anything of it, because they’ve known me for several years and accept me for who I am, with or without a diagnosis.
Really, unless I am attending classes and want assistance for any condition (executive functioning and other aspects of my diagnosis), I believe that making others directly aware merely creates challenges for me. I often have to educate them or even justify the diagnosis.
I’m currently learning to reach out for support for cleaning and organizing my condo, but making my diagnosis widely known is not my priority.
For me and my family, it is confirmation. We are moving forward with that information.
Thank you for this video.
I have gotten to a place where I see other people's opinions as other people's opinions and I have choices about what I think and feel about them. Even though I still get tripped up- I know that the hard feelings will fade and learning and strength will take their place.
I had to work hard on creating healthy boundaries and valuing myself, to get here. It pays off! I wish for everyone to find their way to having this peace. Taylor has it right- let grace in. Grace will carry you through any of this while you are working hard to do what is good, true and beautiful. Keep the faith! You can do this!
Beautifully said! And yes these concepts are simple but not necessarily "easy." It's a process to get to a place, like you said, where you can let other people have their opinions without it affecting your own feelings/experience! But it's so liberating.
❤
I self-diagnosed 18 months ago. At the time, I had just started my mental health journey and literally stumbled across neurodivergence. (I was watching TedTalks on PTSD, mental health, and anxiety when one of Taylor’s videos came up as suggested to watch).
Almost immediately, I shared with my mom that I’m neurodivergent (more than autism alone). Me being a psychology major with an emphasis in clinical mental health, she wasn’t too surprised. But I know it’s not something I can share with my dad, even if I get a formal diagnosis. He’s a mental health denier and doesn’t understand why I’m putting myself through college to become a mental health counselor. If he doesn’t understand something as simple as that, he’d go full attack mode if I dared tell him that I’m autistic.
I was just recently let go from a job that didn't see me, nor attempt to understand me as a self-diagnosed autistic person. Your videos do help in trying to remind myself that it's not my fault and I'm worthy of love and compassion.
In general, I'd say not to disclose a self-diagnosis to an employer. A professional diagnosis, if disclosed to them, creates legal obligations for them under the ADA, so disclosing a self-diagnosis is almost certain to come across as trying to cash in on those obligations without having the paperwork to back it up.
Having access to so much“Taylored” autism content lately has been such a privilege! 😊 I’m really enjoying the unmasking course so far!
I kind of want to tell my sister so she’ll stop saying disparaging remarks about me. But, deep down, I know she’ll never stop.
Taylor, I so appreciate your intelligence, thoughtfulness, and excellent teaching ability. Your videos are always informative and fun! Thank you!😺
Taylor, I wonder if you know how helpful you are to our community🌹🌹🌹🌹
One of the most invalidating things that people say when you trust them enough to share your diagnosis with them, is "Oh, everyone is on the Spectrum a little bit..". It often makes those of us who actually ARE, feel very minimalized. I was telling this to a good friend of mine who happens to be a Black fellow. He is one of the kindest people I know. He sat and listened to me vent, then he said "They don't get that autism is about how you are wired and how you process information... NOT about the little quirks. That would be like me sharing something about being Black with a non-black person, and having them say 'Well, we're ALL a little Black. I have really good rhythm... and Steve over there, he's a really good basketball player'. Yeah, I can see how insulting and invalidating it can be." Wow! I had never heard it put in that context before, but he made me feel "seen" and "heard".
The biggest issue I have is that I lose almost all perception of my volume when I'm stressed out, so people think I'm yelling. I had someone tell me they felt like getting violent because they thought I was screaming at them, and refused to acknowledge that I'm not in control of it. (While I feel that response is absolutely unacceptable, I told them to just tell me if I'm talking too loud.) It is so frustrating when people ignore what I say in favor of what they think my tone of voice is saying.
I have volume trouble all the time, especially when I'm nervous or excited. I'm glad to know of someone else who also struggled with it
@@alisonwall5459 Yeah, I've always had issues for the same reason, my dad would think I was angry, or raising my voice at him when I was frustrated, nervous or even just feeling good or excited. People would always tell me to talk quieter when I was talking about my special interest. I've finally learned more about autism and can implement strategies to improve my communication. I was diagnosed at a young age with aspergers but never got any support until I was in college and didn't learn much about it until just a month or so ago.
Yes, I get the whole, "why are you yelling?" Or "why are you so angry? " and I get taken off guard because I don't feel that I have raised my voice
@@chesneymigl4538 Yup, I've been there. You always think something like "what? Yelling? Angry? What gave you that impression?"
@@chesneymigl4538🙄 Same here! My relative, who I had to live with for several months, would tell me I was YELLING, when I believed my voice was one small step above a quiet conversational tone. Just enough to express mild annoyance or upset but a long way from full blown anger YELL.
Appreciate all your videos Taylor. After years of "knowing" I was autistic I finally got tested and officially diagnosed in the summer of 2022. I'm still working through both the relief and sense of grief that has followed in the wake of the diagnosis. As someone also diagnosed late I'm still working through who I really am and how my life will unfold moving forward. I have been very open with people in my life about my diagnosis and to a large extent they have been super supportive. Really appreciate finding this community.
Jeff
Thanks Taylor for the insightful videos on your channel that I have watched so far. I was assessed for autism in July, and at 53 years old feel as though I have a lot to understand, navigate newly and recalibrate in my life. This video and others of yours all contain such useful information.
So glad to hear it was helpful to you! Glad you're part of the community.
The timing of this video ✨️✨️ so appreciated
Oh good I’m glad it’s helpful!
You are so helpful with navigating this maze of autism, and mis and disinformation. Thank you for the work you have done on this, some seen on camera and the unseen work you put in for us!!! Just wanted to let you know you've made an enormous difference ❤
Taylor, you are wise beyond your years. A GREAT video with great ideas. Thank you.
I've had to unload a couple of long-term friends because of abuse but feel so much better now and don't miss them AT ALL. Most of my true friends have been supportive. My neighbor totally invalidated me tho'. I told her because if something happened (complete shutdown), I wanted her to know what was going on. I live by myself so communication with others is important. I was really angry at the time but I've learned to look at it as HER problem, not mine.
Exactly. It has been a game changer for me to let other people have their own experiences without feeling like I need to intervene or "fix" things. And yes, once you get rid of relationships that were harming you it's amazing how much lighter you can feel!
Yup! xoxo@@MomontheSpectrum
My toddler is my weighted pillow, sqeeeeze… unfortunately, he is not always available 😅❤
I remember when my babies were my weighted blanket 😻🥰! Cherished memories
Same but my cats
I feel like we could use a shorthand to cover age and diagnosis age like "F/65/63" (female, age 65, diagnosed 63). For me, it's important to know where people are in their journey when viewing comments. But, only if they are comfortable doing so. How does everyone feel about this?
I like this idea!
Sure, but what would you do for those who aren't diagnosed?
When you self-discovered that you were autistic. That's me anyway.
To better remember the data : F/A99/D99, so A for age and D for diagnosed. If people are fine sharing this public. Be aware that TH-cam is VERY public. Health data is critical data.
Good idea and yes, that's why I don't use my real name!@@binesart
I have been freaking out since I realized that being autistic could be my a reason for my struggle after a therapist suggested it and then I opened the floodgates with research...and I wonder about when/if/how to tell my job. And I'm in full tilt trying to figure this out
Such a great video topic! Thanks!
I tell people I'm autistic. At worst, it changes nothing. I hope that some of my audience understand something of autism and understand that I may seem a little weird. Weird is good, it's different. My photography is different too, and I like that.
I got diagnosed with autism last year at the age of 30. The only person I told was my wife and for a while that was it. I ended up telling two other people that weren’t family and it went better than I thought. But I’ve yet to tell my parents and sister because I’m afraid of their reactions. I’m glad you made this video and it makes me feel like I’m not alone.
This is such good advice. You are amazing.
Definitely think about what you hope to gain. There are some people that are worth sharing your diagnosis with. But it is absolutely your choice. I wish I had chosen more wisely. I made the mistaking of sharing my diagnosis hoping that the other person would start treating me a bit more compassion and understanding. Huge mistake. They took it as proof that there was "something wrong with me" and proceeded to degrade and devalue me about it every chance they got. Don't share if the person is a bully. I wish I’d gotten this advice beforehand. But, on the positive side, you’re doing a wonderful thing to share this with people - I’m sure this will be a benefit to many people. And just because my experience was negative doesn't mean it will be for other people. Every relationship is different.
I am on the height spectrum. Taller than the average adult male, a whisker shorter than Lauren Jackson.
I am on the weight spectrum. About optimum for my height and build.
I am on the age spectrum, moving along quite nicely, thank you. Old, but few age-related - or any really -concerns.
I am on the health spectrum. Pretty well, and that's before considering my age. I get few easily transmissible diseases, I've even avoided Covid-19. A lot of people my age have had replacement hips, repairs to knees and shoulders. I've had a few corneal grafts, that's it. I can still walk ten to twenty km in a day.
Thank you for these thoughtfull advices ! I'm on my way to be diagnosed, it is soooo long in France, I have time to think about sharing or not. But I'll be prepared : i have about a year of waiting now.
I told my family I was seeking a diagnosis for scholarships and accommodations because they don't seem to understand my need for validation. Note... none of my family doubts my autism, they just think that I shouldn't and don't need to get diagnosed
Well that's weird. Where's the logic in that?
I shared with everyone. My MIL asked if I could just take a pill so I could mask my autism symptoms. 🤦♀. Another family member said my self diagnosis wasn't valid and they didn't believe me until I got my formal diagnosis.
Thank you so much for all you do. You have helped me significantly. Im 38 now going dor my diagnosis. This is going to make everything so much easier😢❤its been so hard 😭
Much love❤
Hi Taylor thank u for you
I’m new to allllllllllll this d as I thank u
Oh my gosh, you look beautiful, Taylor! I love your hair :) Okay, now to watch the video!
Thank you!
Can’t wait to watch later! 🎉❤ I’ve been cheering myself up listening to podcasts 😊. Have you listened to Glennon Doyle, we can do hard things? I love it! She should have you as a guest!
I am learning so much from you and Claire. And several Drs. Thank you for sharing.
Taylor, I am so grateful for this community and the information you share. You were my initial source and, while I'm still in the 'figuring it all out' stage (does that ever really end, lol?), I am so much further along in understanding myself than I was last July. Thank you.
Hi Tay, it's a great guide. Unfortunately, I don't have any person to share my diagnosis (btw I just started a new diagnosis assessment).
Great advice.
Unlike most girls/women on the spectrum, I was diagnosed as a kid and some of the things that I have learned about sharing my diagnosis:
1. Don’t tell random strangers about your autism/Be careful who you share your diagnosis with because they might use it against you
2. You don’t owe anyone an explanation
3. If the people you told don’t accept your autism then they don’t actually care about you
4. You are more than your diagnosis
And something that a dear friend of mine told me last week
5. You’re not less of a person because of your autism.
Bonus: I personally don’t share my autism with people, unless I feel safe with that person
thank you!! ill have to talk about that with my mother - in that case to get the diagnosis because she handles ny insurance
These are helpful tips! Thank you!
Let’s gooooooo
I'm having problems deciphering what I want, how to express myself, who I want to "be with" "for the rest of my life." *internally screaming and running in circles*
I really like how you explain things its very helpful 💗💗
Thank you so much for making this video, I found it very helpful!
What is the "Autistic Community"?
there are so many of us! there's a growing population of us online, through different social media platforms, discord, online support groups. I list a lot of options for connection in my Big Autistic Resource Guide www.momonthespectrum.life/the-big-autistic-resource-guide
@MomontheSpectrum Can anything spoken about "Autistic Community" be proven or disproven?
I fear the use of this term. This is why:
A Video states: "It is generally agreed upon by the Autistic Community that Strawberry is the best flavor of Ice Cream." And the Video has a link to buy Ice Cream. Videos like this exist. It's less obvious, but something is being sold. This is the kind of wording that misleads Autistics. It's one of the many ways this world screws us over. And it's why my channel exists.
You might want to delete my comments. I don't want to damage your brand. I plan to make serious waves about this type of misleading information towards Autistics. Because the use of the phrase "Autistic Community" is, in my opinion, paramount to false advertising. I view you as a hero or champion of autism, and this world needs that. I'm here to destroy those trying to exploit us. But doing so will enevitably destroy my own reputation, which I'm more than willing to do to so the younger generations don't have to go through what I did.
I’m having that issue with my fiancé
Awesome video! Recently diagnosed, and I’m thinking a lot about how or if to tell my family. Question - my family doctor wasn’t part of my diagnosis process. Should I inform them? Is this something I should have on my medical file?
Great content!!! 🎉🎉🎉😊
I tried to tell my brother and he fully dismissed me. I love him very much. But he's always been very hard on me. It's ironic because most of his complaints about me are literally symptoms of the autism. He's highly intelligent but it's gone way over his head. I've also got my suspicions that he is also autistic, and that we get it from our mother.
Taylor you look gorgeous!
What size pillow did you buy? I am psychologist with lots of autistic clients and wondering what size I should get. I have kids, teens, and adults...I may need two, but which one do you have?
👋 will you consider using a puff blocker? The micro sounds are an obstacle to listening for me thx for considering
I feel comfortable sharing my diagnosis with others, like friends and random people, but i still haven't told my parents about it. I just expect them saying, No, you can't be, it's only your imagination, which is heartbreaking
I tried to get the weighted pillow that you have, but they don't ship to Canada! 😢 I can't find anything quite like it here. I absolutely love my weighted blanket and thought a pillow would be great to take with me when I'm not in bed.
I really would like to come out to my in-laws. What do I expect from them? I guess I want them to understand that I can't and I don't want to invite them over for dinner, like they always want me to. I want them to understand, that it's difficult for me to have guests over, even if the guests are my good friends. In-laws cause me even more anxiety. They are really intimidating to me, and very loud. They always shout, and they have a dog, which they always yell at loudly. I always feel SO anxious around them, like I'm always on my tip-toes. I'm afraid to talk to them, even when they ask me something. Their reactions to everything I say make me even more unable to say anything. They are mocking my interests, they are mocking my food that I prepare, they are mocking the fact that I don't eat onions and many other foods. I just don't know how to cope with them existing.
This is the problem. "action intention". For instance, if a person never actually discusses intentions verbally and its all based on some sort of expectation based on information which is not passed on to the autistic causes, not only "action intention" problems, but also "processing" issues. Which, of course, every autistic is well aware of, and completely understands, situations such as this. Because, I am well spoken, intelligent, extroverted in social situations and very humorous, it never fails to shock people to find out not only I'm autistic, but also that I really do have issues when a person isn't being exactly clear as to their intentions. So, this is why I completely disagree with the mirror neuron argument because, as this states, there are deficits in automatic mimicry, not in voluntary mimicry.
Based on the current knowledge, we assume that participants with ASDs experience (i) MNS impairments, (ii) deficits in automatic mimicry of facial expressions but not in voluntary mimicry, (iii) deficits in recognizing emotional facial expressions, (iv) deficits in understanding action intention and its vitality form, which may overall cause (v) severe deficits in social interaction and social decision making.
Taken together, our ability to understand (i) the social context, (ii) emotions of others, (iii) the intent of the motor actions, and (iv) the vitality forms is necessary to make appropriate social decisions.
Despite these remarkable findings, it remains unclear whether there is a link between social decision making and the impairment of the MNS. Approaching this question remains elusive due to our limited knowledge of the neural mechanisms involved in the interaction between the MNS, motor control, and social decision making. Based on the current knowledge, we assume that participants with ASDs experience (i) MNS impairments, (ii) deficits in automatic mimicry of facial expressions but not in voluntary mimicry, (iii) deficits in recognizing emotional facial expressions, (iv) deficits in understanding action intention and its vitality form, which may overall cause (v) severe deficits in social interaction and social decision making. It is therefore plausible to assume a neurophysiological interaction between the pathways responsible for the MNS, imitative behavior, motor action, and social decision making.
Based on the current studies, we suggest a multilayer neural network model including the MNS on a first layer and transforming this information to a higher layer network responsible for reasoning (cf. Figure 1). Reasoning about others’ mental states mainly activates a putative “mind‐reading network” that is formed by the prefrontal cortex, anterior cingulate cortex (ACC), and the temporoparietal junction (TPJ).43, 44, 45, 46, 70 Future studies with ASD participants combining behavioral tasks with neuroimaging methods and transcranial brain stimulation as well as computational modeling can help validate and complement this suggested model.
Most people in the comments here have problems with their parents. Well, my diagnosis is with my 24 yr old son. He thinks autism, dislexia, similar is just labels and doesn't mean anything. Since getting my diagnosis our relationship is nearly non existent
I'm so sorry.
I think there's a person at/on the TI12 panel that uses a pillow like that too.
I recently discovered that both my teens are on the spectrum. I doubt I will ever tell my parents. My mother is very much the type that will blame vaccines and then try to tell me that keto will fix it.
( no disrespect to those that do keto. I very much believe people should follow whatever eating plan makes them feel best. It’s just that my mother gets very pushy with it and thinks keto will cure everything.)
I disclosed to my boss and he actually took it fine. Later on, when I told HR, one of the very first things that HR rep said to me was, "you can't just be rude and blame it on autism!" I have not responded, the HR supervisor has ignored me, and I'm at a point where I don't ever want to speak to either of these people again.
What a paradox 😆 that statement is inherently rude! Just remember HR is a position created to buffer management. HR has been useless at almost every job I've had (different careers as well) save one. I hope this comment cheers you. (Apologies to the good HR folks out there! 😅)
the exact people trusted to prevent discrimination are often the most discriminatory out of anybody. I have learned this by experience myself.
Hey, I'm having a hard time right now, and there's a particular dilemma I'm experiencing right now. I was wondering if you could help me out?
I've taken a break from home, since I've realized how difficult my experience around them has been, before i discovered i was autistic. They were invalidating to my depression diagnosis and only accepted it when i was experiencing seizures, a full shutdown and was bed ridden for days with a couple of (for the sake of sensitivity) many "dire" moments. All throughout I was going through a spiritual crisis as well, as I do lean on that end of an autistic person. There was a point i went through a breakthrough, and the conditions I felt stable and above all I'd been going through.
Sadly, we had a spiritual talk (I'm chrisian by the way) which was one on one with me, and later, one on one with my little brother, and they had this to say about me: (1)that I was immature and of a seductive nature around guys and that's why i experience all the depression and epilepsy, panick attacks etc. I've never been in a relationship before. Btw. (2)They said I'm clearly still a "patient" which invalidated my own communication about me finally being alright, which had always previously been announced by them, despite my anxiety that it wasn't the case. They said I'd have no luck with men because of my history, so i should give up the idea of marriage. I'm 22, and while I'm not in a relationship i do have a love interest. Lastly, they told my brother that I'm crazy, and other things they made him promise not to tell me. The reason this all happened? They were advising my brother against getting baptized using his weaknesses as an excuse and that he'll have to give up his interests and other false information, all to stall until they thought he was ready and make sure he gets baptized at their preferred church in another city. My brother made his choice and got batized at a church in the neighborhood which we attend separate from our parents. My older brother left the church years ago and was the black sheep of the family. Not the whole family is in a dysfunction.
Eventually I've learnt that my parent's have been more on the manipulating, managing and invalidating end of my life, and they use spiritualism to deflect their own mental disabilities. Our family has been subject to many labels and i see it more clearly now.
Naturally, I took sleeping over at a married church friend's house just to get away from it all. It's only been a few months since this all transpired, along with my love interest confessing i had (ver unknowingly) blown them off sometime and after about a year had found the closest thing to me in someone else who he is in a relationship with, which he's satisfied with, and later on decided to respectfully cut me off for the sake of his partner, which i understand... But has ultimately left me trusting nothing but God and timing, the autistic community.
The more i know about what's actually normal for me, the more easy I'm taking things as an expression of gentleness to myself. No day is easy, but i feel the sense of patience for me burning out from my friend - the woman of the house. She's more of a gove yourself a break but don't take to long and get over it kind of person. She's also not good at considering my sensitive issues enough not to keep them private or take my own diagnosis seriously. Already she's addressed my routines as bad manners, and i respect and understand that. It's just I'm not willing to compromise right now as my body is still having a hard time, thus the urgency to either go home again, which is hard, or communicate a bit. I just feel like I'm in a crisis and it's hard to see that I'm not in a spot right now. Sorry it's so long but thanks for taking your time
So sorry for this family you have !
@@joana.en.pyjautiste I really appreciate you. Thank you
Much love on your path. You’ve got this. Baby steps
Does your channel turn the subtitles on?
When I start your vids and after ads the CC is always on and I have to turn it off 😅
Is that something I'm doing?! They are really distracting. It only happens here 😅
Anyways thanks for the vid! :D
My family isn't surprised that I have autism, but my daughter seems disturbed by it. Like she doesn't understand how I could need so much help when there's nothing physically wrong with me. So I said it is like if she tried to force herself to touch a hot stove and how the brain stops you. For me I can't do things. But because I'm 37 and have been making forever I know it's got to be weird for me to be being different. She's supportive, but idk it seems forced. I feel guilty for sharing and trying to do what I know I have to. Like maybe I should have just keep pretending. Or maybe I should just leave? Like I feel like a burden. And yeah I'm depressed. I'm my way of being that way. Sorry I'm rambling. Thanks for you video
Indont beed to share any diagnosis i have with anyone
Amazing hair today
Did you have your weighted pillow on your lap in this video? I have it on my Christmas list 😉
This is just venting but I know this is a supportive community - I wish I hadn’t learnt so much about autism. Now I feel that my symptoms are worse, I know this comes along with learning more about yourself and unmasking, but I feel like it’s gone farther than just that and my symptoms really are worse, not simply unmasked. I wish I was still ignorant so I wasn’t experiencing this. I am not diagnosed so I need to try and see if I can get a diagnosis but it is daunting. Additionally, with knowledge about autism and no diagnosis yet I am constantly questioning if I am autistic or not (if my “symptoms” are actually symptoms). I just wish I didn’t have these things on my mind.
Normal people will just avoid interact with me like I have the plague, or will apparently walk on eggshells to not upset me as if i could hurt them if they do not talk to me with a'sweet' (read fake) voice and will have to agree with me like I'm insane.
I had a meltdown in the middle of the office bathroom because my shift got changed and nobody warned me beforehand so I had to rush to work with no transitions and I was even talked down to and called 'a princess' by a superior when I dared to exclaim 'at least warn me!'
I will have to go back to work next Monday and can you already tell I'm not mentally read for any difficult kinds of conversations about why I started crying and rocking back and forth and scream loud if somebody tried to touch me? Yay, happy Monday to me :/
Leviathan is a great movie AND Deep Star Six. Well, great in a B-movie, cheesy, popcorn flick way. I love B movies. I always watch them together. The perfect deep sea research station monster movie mayhem double feature. I've been doing the L,DSS double creature feature since they were first released on DVD back in the day. Of course, that was 1989, the year I graduated High School and then left home, and my girlfriend, for nearly 2 years and fought in Desert Storm, because, you know, I'm as red blooded American as red blooded Americans get without being a psychotic extremist who attempts to violently overthrow the government.
I have people in my family ie my mom and dad wholl just say im normal and that i dont have autism. I feel a bit sad now that im realizing i have autism, that no one even helped me and still continue to not help. They wont be accommodating me in anyway... is it normal for women with autism to have higher then normal expectations? I feel like i run on expectations usually and get hurt doing that.
3:00 mark 😳🙄😎💡👍🏼
Absolutely no positive value. Thank you for your insight and “Good questions” 🥰
Edit my problem Mostly worked itself out and the person who was causing me alot of stress doesn't work there anymore
Hey I've Commented once before on one of your short videos I have a problem its pretty big to me and it's related to this video it has to do with a social situation at my work a person who is posing as one of my bosses at my very part time job I've tried to explain to her that the way she is approaching me is very scary and stressful to me and I've tried to explain to her my autism and how it affects me she didn't really get it or understand very well at all the way she approaches me in her speech is very pushy..another contributing factor is she's a distant cousin of mine and she is alot older than me probably in her 50's?? Idk she keeps her youth real well she might be older idk but because she's lived alot longer than me (I'm barely 20 years old) she is trying to give me her advice for my personal life but her "suggestions" almost seem to be being forced down my throat..I think she means well and cares about me but we barely know each other and I think it's a little rude for her to be putting all that pressure and expectation on me for my personal life like I didn't ask to be micromanaged now if she was just telling what to do pertaining to work related stuff I would have no problem with that..but she practically gave me homework for my personal life that I don't actually want to do rn or maybe ever because I'm still working on basic adult life stuff like I still don't have my driver's license or a car of any sort and I still live with my parents I do not have time to concentrate on maybe possibly dreams of becoming a christian musical artist rn let me know if yall need more context hopefully that was enough information to work with I've never really try to reach out much to the autism community...idk I guess I just get anxious or something but like yall are my people we have alot of the same issues I was diagnosed with autism in March I turned 20 last month (October) so I'm still kinda learning about myself and how my autism affects me also I had an Autism regression due to trauma that is why I was diagnosed so late in life
Let me know if u guys can give me any advice that could help because I'm very stressed and anxious all the time around her and she triggers my mutism with her pushy-ness like I can only put up with this for so long if if some major improvements aren't made I will definitely be quitting my job
I haven't gone to my main boss about it because he doesn't really understand autism either unfortunately..I can tell he really cares about me tho and he doesn't make me feel scared or stress me out very much at cuz he's very laid back he's not really pushy..so far I think he sees autism as more of a confidence or discipline issue rather than just how my brain operates same with the other lady that I work with they just don't seem to get it
I had a meltdown one day as he was driving me home after work it was super fast and busy and so riding in cars at night can be very scary for me so I had a meltdown I think he was more traumatized than me from my meltdown my boss didn't know what to do he talked to my mom lol..but after that he was slightly more accepting to the way I want to communicate with him via text cuz I'm great at texting 😊 and he said I could text him and he'll read it we had a meeting together me and him (I work in food truck very small business also he is a distant cousin aswell) and he said that he understands that I'm going to have hard days but then turns around and says that I just have to push past my autism??? And we all know that is impossible so that tells me he doesn't really get it either but I truly think he at least cares about me cuz he changed my hours to morning shift and he even noticed that I do better when I'm doing one task at a time so I just basically do dishes now so he might be able to become more understanding
You made a comment in this video that stood out to me how some people say that's probably my autism or everyone's a little Autistic but ur right I feel very invalidated when he says that
Hopefully this easy to follow I'm not sure if I'm jumping all over the place or not
Also I use to work at a sonic drive in and that is just a terrible atmosphere for an Autistic individual it's literally one of the most fast paced switching to 50 different tasks at once and lots of loud noises...I worked there for 3 months because I didn't know I was Autistic...It caused me to have meltdowns every single day for hours and sometimes multiple times a day I was not sleeping at all...and also was going through alot of crap with my family stuff and was not living with my parents at the time because I was scared to stay at my house and I was living with my Aunt for about two months my meltdowns were so severe they looked like seizures (also didn't know I was Autistic then..lol..)
I just know I'm not going to go back to a place like that in my health I'm making my emotional and mental health and just overall well being a priority in my life
So if yall got any ideas to see if I can make this work out so I don't have to quit that would be great
BUT I will quit if it's necessary ik I can't deal with alot of stress on a daily basis I have a lot of good friends and an aunt who really support me so they're helping me aswell
Anywhos let me know!
-a fellow Autistic lol😂
No advice. You’ve got this. What does your quiet inner wise person tell you? ❤
Idk but God got me thru that situation and I don't work with that lady anymore but thanks for commenting honestly don't remember half of what I wrote I should go back and read it so I can figure out what that inner wise woman of mine is telling me lol
What if my husband doesn’t accept the diagnosis!
im interested in a phrase that will get through to a cop that im having a meltdown
Did anyone else get *6* ads???
That weighted pillow is $179 - $200. Yikes!
(I checked Amazon; no weighted pillows there, but there are small weighted stuffed animals that would be good for kids. I think I'll wait.)
Glas marbles as filling for DYI should be heavy
You don’t think that is your responsibility to tell for example to your future husband and family in law that you have autism , the big responsibility because in your future marriage you will have kids as a possibility , so having autism is like if you have cancer you have to tell or heart disease or any physical condition , if your future husband and family they would see if they accept you or not right ? Am I wrong?
You are inspirational and amazing 🤩 but..
Iwanttoinformyouthatwhenyouareeditingoutthepauseswhenyouspeakitsliketryingtoreadmycommenthere! It becomes too much, no time for processing.
Thanks for the feedback!
You can always hit the 'pause' button. 🙂
*Autists* are difficult people.
It seems almost everyone wants a diagnosis of something these days and too many psychologist are more than willing to find a way to do it.
Feel better now? Good. Maybe you can go ahead and do some more research next.
@@littlestbroccoli Do your own research. Keep an open mind. You'll learn 99% of psychology is bogus. The replication crisis is just the tip of the iceberg. The field consist of a series of parallel fads. I don't know why so many people are so gullible.
Did you have your weighted pillow on your lap in this video? I have it on my Christmas list 😉