Do you like our way of teaching? Would you like to unpause your life, sleep well and feel like yourself again? We can help! For personal coaching, head over to www.thesleepcoachschool.com and find an option that fits you. We look forward to seeing you on the inside!
So my sleep is improving after about 4 weeks of listening to your videos. Thank you! For me it was all about NUMBERS. I was waking 4 or 5 times in the night - checking how long I had slept. Then in the morning I would calculate how long I had been asleep and how long I had been awake and how many times I had woken up and for how long. I thought I was clever when I start counting sleep cycles instead of hours (1 cycle = 90 minutes). But of course this was all contributing to hyperarousal both day and night. Just abandoning the counting completely has really helped!
That's fantastic to hear! And thanks for sharing your experience. Just a quick heads-up: we're hosting live Q&A sessions most weeks and we'd love for you to join us! It's a great chance to ask questions, share insights, and connect with others in the community.
Thanks for this! This has been my struggle for 20 years…not falling asleep, but waking up at night and unable to go back to sleep. This channel has helped me sleep a lot better but I still wake up at night, I just fall back asleep much faster now. But lately I’ve been up for long periods of time again 😢. I will keep this episode in mind
In my mind I see struggling falling back asleep as different because I wonder whether having already slept for a while, even just a few hours, has take the edge off my sleep drive making it less likely that I will drift back off
Your advice has been invaluable to me and vastly improved my periods of insomnia. Thank you. Since using your method of not looking at the time, I feel confident in my sleep. However, I do have an anxiety reaction to coffee (including decaffeinated) and dark chocolate, which prevents me falling asleep, finds me wakeful and super alert through the night, and then waking with a sense of anxiety and foreboding. Black tea and Rooibos tea also have this affect. So I avoid them all, don't look at the clock, and sleep much better. Thank you, Daniel.
I’m so glad Angela to be reading these lines. And thank you so much for sharing this 😊! I personally don’t even touch alcohol because I don’t like the sleep disruption that comes with alcohol. I have this idea that even a drop will make me feel not well. But I also know that this is not really true 😝 Often the awareness that we had some tea for example, and thinking that this will impact our sleep is really what impacts it, not the tea. And I agree with John, if there is something we are enjoy in our life, and we avoid it, that can be tricky because the next time we have trouble sleeping, which we all have sometimes, we may try to avoid something else. And then our life can become pretty limited. On the other hand, when we see that it’s really how we think about things, rather than circumstances themselves that matter, yes - then we can enjoy what we want. But anyways, there’s no need to pressure ourselves. The kind and gentle way is what leads we want to be 🙂!
Hi Daniel, I am getting to sleep much easier at night for most nights and maybe one or 2 nights when it's difficult to fall asleep, however even the nights when I fall asleep easily I wake up every hour or hour and a half. I haven't had a single night where I don't wake up less than 4-5 times and it's making me feel extremely frustrated. At this point I understand that waking up during the night is normal but I am having a hard time accepting it because it makes my nights feel very long and pre insomnia I remember going to bed at night and waking up in the morning.
Hey coach Daniel! I want to say that I have been having much better nights this past couple months thanks to your videos. Although, there are still bad nights, I know they are just temporary. There is one question that I still have and it’s the fear and awareness upon falling asleep. I’m confused of if it’s the fear of falling asleep or if it’s the fear of wakefulness or both. I hope you read this, you are very appreciated !
Hi Tom Tom, Thanks for being in touch and I’m so glad to hear things have been getting easier :-)! And this is a very insightful question. I will answer it at length on Friday in the episode that day. Short answer, it’s actually both. Oh, and if you haven’t seen it, check out our playlist on hypnic jerks and hypnic awareness. There’s a link in the description of any new video.
Thanks for another good video. I have been suffering from insomnia for 5 months, a combination of both variants. On average, I sleep very badly (or not at all) 2-3 nights a week. I have noticed since a week that I am slightly calmer when I wake up in the middle of the night. Often I just stay lying down instead of the CBTi technique of getting up. What I mainly struggle with is the fear of a bad night and the consequences the next day. And during the day I'm still too preoccupied with the upcoming night. Insomnia can really control your life, whereas I prefer to let go… but how?!
Thank you Erik for the encouragement. Sorry to hear there’s been a struggle but I’m glad you found our channel. Many have told me exactly like you. That not feeling forced to get out of bed has been a real relief. Been really preoccupied, it’s something that happens when our brain thinks we are in danger. It will just keep us thinking about some thing. If we for example, go to the grocery store and then think we left the oven on, we will think about that, no matter what we do. if we go home and see that the oven actually was off, then automatically those were your thoughts. Because we feel we are safe. It’s not that we can control how we feel, but how we feel and we think changes when our brain understands that we are safe. Something else I can really help when we have been afraid of how we will feel the next day is turning into the unrefreshing sleep playlist, you will see a link in the description of any new video. Hang in there, and let us know how things go!
Well, Daniel, I finally listened to this ENTIRE presentation! This is one of your better videos. For the past few months, I have sometimes felt that my brain is having a dialog about whether or not I should go back to sleep. Lately, that has changed to being aware I am awake, but not really sure if that is the case. I have decided this is silly, and it's not a thing to worry about. I am probably dreaming, in fact. Dreaming about being awake. Can you top that?😃 This is not in ANY way the same knowledge that you kept waking up numerous times during the night. Please keep posting these!
Had to LOL at you saying "we almost never check the time and go, 'oh that was nice' and fall back asleep." That made me realize how absurd it is to check the clock
Right?! Glad it made sense and, I want to give credit where it’s due, I learned this from Martin Reed, he’s a brilliant guy, if you haven’t found him he’s here on TH-cam as well 🙂!
What about the dramatic reduction in adenosine in these early AM wakings? I feel like I have spent months working on / improving my sleep anxiety and general anxiety, but still only fall back asleep after my 3-4 hours about 1/2 of the time. It sure feels like I don't have enough "sleep drive", which would support my adenosine theory. I'm admittedly stuck here, thank you.
Hi Dan, So sorry you’re feeling stuck, but thanks for being here and asking. I think it’s possible for many things to have a direct impact on sleep regardless of how/if we think about them… this said, insomnia is entirely unrelated to sleep disruption… With insomnia, self exploration is what truly leads to peace. For example, “I have spend months working on / improving sleep anxiety … but still only” seeing this Dan can be a big aha moment where we see that we were trying to achieve some things that come from the lack of trying… peace of mind and peaceful sleep… and that can make all the difference. Hang in there and be in touch, rooting for you to leave the struggle
I would also comment that I feel like I have been training my brain over many months. And being largely successful, with a regular bedtime. Last night was a struggle, but most are not. I got shutters for my bedroom windows a few weeks ago, and it has probably helped. Not necessarily because it has shut out more light and contributed to better sleep hygiene, but because I feel less annoyed at the amount of light coming in when I am awake in bed. They don't shut out everything, but they help!
So glad things are getting easier Sherry 😊 And yes, shutters can’t shut out how we feel when we think about light coming into the room, or other emotions… but of course if we just like it dark, then that’s nice!
This is perfect timing Dr Daniel. I have been struggling w sleep maintenance since January and intently studying your videos. I have been trying to make peace with wakefulness but not having as much success. I’m okay w finding enjoyable/neutral activities to do at night but often get stressed about being awake when I know I have to chase my toddler around when she wakes up. Most days I’m okay with periods of fatigue, but able to get past it with a positive attitude. But this has taken lots of practice and mindfulness. I haven’t been able to fall back asleep much at all. So yes, befriending wakefulness is hard when there are consequences to consecutive nights of little sleep. Do I just need more practice at this? Not sure how to flip the switch of being at peace w wakefulness entirely.
I think patience and self compassion is very important. It takes time to be okay with wakefulness. You should also allow yourself to be annoyed about the situation that you are awake. Befiending wakefulness isnt always about enjoying the time at night you are awake, its more about being more comfortable in the uncomfortable. So maybe you put to much pressure on yourself. Give yourself the time and see every night you cant sleep as an opportunity to show yourself that you are capable of doing okay even with little sleep. The rest will come!
Mausmi, I’m so glad this was well timed. And the replies you already got were very nice. Maybe check the momsomnia playlist as well as the playlist on unrefreshing sleep, I think both of those can really help. You will find links to them in the description of any new video. One of the most common things that drives our trouble sleeping is the fear of how we will feel the next day. When we understand how the narrative, the storyline, actually matters much more than what happened during the night, that can make a big difference.
@@johnmonk3381 Hi John, are you able to explain this one a little bit further and shed on any experience you have personally had with sleep maintenance insomnia? I’m in a very tough spot at the moment where I will wake up after only a couple of hours and can no longer call back asleep at all, even on the nights I don’t feel I’m that involved and trying hard. I’d like to know more information about conditioned fear and how to consistently remain unalarmed with sleep maintenance insomnia long enough for your body to start re learning not stressing out. I find it very hard as I’m already depleted with low sleep and then have to stay unalarmed to it for long enough until sleep may return.
I wake up after 4.5 hours and can’t get back to sleep. I don’t have to go to the bathroom or anything, just waking up wide awake. I don’t know how to break this cycle, I guess befriending wakefulness is my way out? I tried to befriend wakefulness by just resting and this just doesn’t work for me, I get too frustrated I’m not falling back to sleep
Sorry there’s this struggle now, but glad you already found this video.. as I think I mention here, this shift is very common and understanding it can help so much
Hi Becky, To me, this sounds more like that general mind racing we have when we are scared of something, the problem solving mind. If those thoughts aren’t about sleep, then to me it sounds like there’s some hyperarousal related to something else our brain has been scared about. But it doesn’t matter actually, we don’t need to know, because regardless when we aren’t trying to stop it, it bother us less and less
I’ve been struggling with sleep for a while falling asleep isn’t a problem. Let’s say I fall asleep it 830 I will wake up anywhere from 12:30 to 2:30 and cannot get back to sleep. I’m a morning person. Even when I had good sleep. I’m an early riser. My question is about naps. Good or bad.afternoon 20 to 30 minutes in the sleep, hygiene world I believe that’s a Nono thank you for your channel.🎉
Hi John, Glad you’ve picked up something helpful here already. And this is what I’d say about naps: When it comes to sleeping in or naps, as well as unintentional sleep during the day including microsleep, it is intent and the reaction to it that matters! To be super clear - whether you sleep half an hour or an hour in itself doesn’t actually matter, it’s how you think about it that does. Remember that insomnia is driven by the narrative that being awake is bad, that being awake is a threat and that you have to do things not to be awake. The more we try not being awake, the more insomnia we have. So, if you wake up and it is your rise time, but you feel really comfortable and you would really enjoy sleeping a little bit more, there’s no problem! Because you’re not trying to escape wakefulness by “chasing sleep” or by “getting sleep by any means” or “taking any opportunity to get sleep”. Those are the things that retain the narrative that being awake is not good. On the other hand, if you wake up and it is your rise time, but you know you could get some more sleep and you want to take that opportunity to get as much sleep as you can, then it’s best to get up! Same thing with napping, if the intent is simply to feel refreshed, it is fine. If the intent is to catch sleep, best not try to nap. It is true that if you take a three hour nap, then you probably won’t sleep as much at night as if you didn’t, but that’s just common sense! Now if you fall asleep unintentionally, whether it’s for a bit or just a few seconds, it’s actually the reaction that matters. Let’s say you fall asleep during the day (or overslept in the morning) and think “oh no I have destroyed all my chances of sleep at night!”, then that reaction can cause hyperarousal and it can cause trouble sleeping. Let’s say you fall asleep during the day (or overslept in the morning) and think “ look at that, I fell asleep which means my sleep system is working and a little sleep daytime won’t have much impact at all on how I sleep at night” then there’s no problem.
Hi Daniel, Do you have a video about insomnia returning during a phase in life with a lot of stress ? (For example at work, because moving houses...etc)
Hi Denise, Not specifically, that’s a nice idea for the future. But, we have our speed bump playlist which I think covers what can really help, link in description of any new video
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Thanks a lot Daniel. It could be interesting , as I’ve observed that during a stressful time (due to outside factors) when yoir sleep is affected, this can lead to fear creeping back in due to the initial trauma you’ve experienced before. Making it hard to differentiate between normal stress effects and insomnia 🙈
@deniseelisabeth8584 anytime Denise, and you know it can seem important to know whether it’s stress or insomnia… but trying to figure out can lead to another rabbit hole. The thing is both stress related sleep disruption and insomnia call for the same - no intervention
I follow the usual sleep hygiene recommendations ( Consistent sleep schedule, Sunlight upon waking No caffeine after noon, Dinner a few hours at least before bed (including supplementing with Magnesium/Calcium/Apple-Cider-Vinegar), Cold Shower before bed Cool Bedroom No [blue] light after dark No electronics in the bedroom except for a Pink-Noise-Machine and a Diffuser with Lavender OIl (Sadhguru recommends a lamp burning organic olive) Blackout Curtains Bed should point to the east in the northern hemisphere (never north) ) In addition I have weighted blankets, and sleep with earplugs (30 NRR). I also have oxygen producing plants in the room (Areca Palm, Aloe Vera, Spider Plant, English Ivy, Pothos Plant) and cover their soil with charged crystals (Amethyst, Quartz, etc). I fall asleep quickly, usually repeating a mantra ("I am not the body, I am not the mind"). I try to be conscious at the moment I'm falling asleep. Unfortunately, I wake up after just a few hours, tired and unable to fall back asleep. At this point, I usually put on loose-fitting-socks, and raise the bed temperature by turning on the electric blankets/mattress-pad. The bed has a vibrating feature , so I turn that on as well. If I still can't fall asleep, I place an instant-cold-pack on the forehead and take a supplement (Dream Water / InstaSleep / Som Sleep), although would love to find somethings a bit stronger (Trazodone , GHB, Belsomra / suvorexant). I've seen some people have had luck with Brain Stimulation (omniperf NeoRhythm, Muse S , Fluxwear Shift, etc), but haven't tried that yet. I also tried wearing 3M tape over the mouth (so that I'm forced to breath thru the nose, but that didn't work for me. I've also experimented with drinking Decaf Coffee with Well Told Health Sleep powder just before bed.. or eating a bowl of oatmeal with warm milk.. but it's hit or miss.
Hi Ben, Thanks for sharing and you know, when we understand sleep efforts, and that the more things we try to sleep the more struggle we have… then a list like this can be really eye opening…
this is me 1000% after being wrongly put on prednisone steroid for only 1 week.. it ruined my sleep for 1 year and still going.. amazing really it could do that
Hi Coach Daniel. I have been struggling with insomnia since twenty weeks pregnant back last January. At first, I wasn’t sleeping at all, fast forward to now. I am experiencing multiple wake ups in the middle of the night, not just one. It seems like I can’t get past 2 or three hours. With a lot of vivid dreaming. My question is, would this be concidered maintenance issue? I can usually lull myself back every-time but feels like a ping-pong tournament all night, if you will. Possibly hyper sleep? I look forward to your response :)
Hi LBrooke, So sorry to hear that this has been happening, but it can help to know that it is very common during pregnancy and also after we have become parents. Everything mention is very familiar, and I think it actually helps not to label it or try to classify it. Rather, we can say that they are all experiences of insomnia, that are very common. Now, another thing that I think it really helped is to look at our momsomnia playlist. Here’s a link: th-cam.com/play/PL6RQ1GS7B1chwai9WPUngyfUs7j4w0e1F.html Hang in there!!
Omg this is totally me right now hahaha. Past months or last years, it is so hard to sleep haha now i fall asleep easily but wake at 12, 1 or 2. Then boom my mind become active keep thinking things! 🤣
Hi Samantha, So glad it resonated. And you know, having seen how trouble falling asleep initially fades away when we’re no longer afraid, it can be easier to see that this happens with any way we experience trouble sleeping. Also, when we no longer know that it is 12 or one or two, that alone can help a lot :-)
Oh yes! Especially if it’s something you look forward to 😊 Insomnia happens when our brains confused and thinks that being awake is a threat or danger. When we do something that we enjoy when we are awake at night, we are teaching it, that we are safe, and then sleep happens easier.
If I wake up too early, I prefer passive activities, like listening to podcasts, or if absolutely necessary, watching a movie, though that would take a lot to get me out of bed. My father, a very good sleeper, always slept with the radio on at low volume. My mother got used to that. I can tell you that Coast to Coast AM has been a very good radio show for insomniacs over the decades, as well as sustaining many long-haul truck drivers. Even with today's annoying host and all the commercials.
This is open to anyone who is curious and would like to respond! Any thoughts/experiences to anyone who has tried sleep science academy with Devin Burke? Also, question for you Daniel. Will your program help address anxiety or just anxiety related to sleep?? I believe both have a major impact on insomnia.
Hi Megatron, Thanks for asking and, I know this was perhaps a question for the community but, I did have a call with Devin perhaps two years ago. I was wondering about his approach, and when we spoke over the phone, he said that he took a look at every aspect of his clients life. He said he would look at diet and exercise and the bedroom environment and all kinds of factors and he would use that to try to help his clients. Now, to answer the question for me, I would say that anxiety is a signal. It is a way that our brain communicates with us. And in whatever we we learn about this, it helps in general. I would say we can’t really separate anxiety from sleep anxiety. So I would say in whatever way we learn about our emotions, it helps with life in general.
I took the Sleep Science Academy, made my insomnia worse by thinking that it was a result of all of those other aspects of my life and trying to fix them, and all the rules. I find Daniel’s explanation of how our brain operates really makes sense. Also now when I think about a “rule” and worry if some particular thing will affect sleep I try to do the opposite to prove to my brain there is nothing to fear. I am finally sleeping after 15 years of insomnia.
Really appreciate this honest feedback 🙏, I will keep in mind to deliver the salient points early and then expand on them later on, for those who want to hear more.
Do you like our way of teaching? Would you like to unpause your life, sleep well and feel like yourself again?
We can help!
For personal coaching, head over to www.thesleepcoachschool.com and find an option that fits you.
We look forward to seeing you on the inside!
So my sleep is improving after about 4 weeks of listening to your videos. Thank you! For me it was all about NUMBERS. I was waking 4 or 5 times in the night - checking how long I had slept. Then in the morning I would calculate how long I had been asleep and how long I had been awake and how many times I had woken up and for how long. I thought I was clever when I start counting sleep cycles instead of hours (1 cycle = 90 minutes). But of course this was all contributing to hyperarousal both day and night. Just abandoning the counting completely has really helped!
That's fantastic to hear! And thanks for sharing your experience. Just a quick heads-up: we're hosting live Q&A sessions most weeks and we'd love for you to join us! It's a great chance to ask questions, share insights, and connect with others in the community.
Thank you for the invitation. How do I join a call?@@thesleepcoachschool8192
Thanks for this! This has been my struggle for 20 years…not falling asleep, but waking up at night and unable to go back to sleep. This channel has helped me sleep a lot better but I still wake up at night, I just fall back asleep much faster now. But lately I’ve been up for long periods of time again 😢. I will keep this episode in mind
So glad you found it 😊 and you know, it’s often not a linear path, but a zigzag one that leads where we want to be
In my mind I see struggling falling back asleep as different because I wonder whether having already slept for a while, even just a few hours, has take the edge off my sleep drive making it less likely that I will drift back off
So helpful. Thank you.
Your advice has been invaluable to me and vastly improved my periods of insomnia. Thank you. Since using your method of not looking at the time, I feel confident in my sleep. However, I do have an anxiety reaction to coffee (including decaffeinated) and dark chocolate, which prevents me falling asleep, finds me wakeful and super alert through the night, and then waking with a sense of anxiety and foreboding. Black tea and Rooibos tea also have this affect. So I avoid them all, don't look at the clock, and sleep much better.
Thank you, Daniel.
I’m so glad Angela to be reading these lines. And thank you so much for sharing this 😊! I personally don’t even touch alcohol because I don’t like the sleep disruption that comes with alcohol. I have this idea that even a drop will make me feel not well. But I also know that this is not really true 😝
Often the awareness that we had some tea for example, and thinking that this will impact our sleep is really what impacts it, not the tea.
And I agree with John, if there is something we are enjoy in our life, and we avoid it, that can be tricky because the next time we have trouble sleeping, which we all have sometimes, we may try to avoid something else. And then our life can become pretty limited.
On the other hand, when we see that it’s really how we think about things, rather than circumstances themselves that matter, yes - then we can enjoy what we want.
But anyways, there’s no need to pressure ourselves. The kind and gentle way is what leads we want to be 🙂!
Today, I really needed to hear this. Thank you so much. :)
So glad to hear 😊
Hi Daniel, I am getting to sleep much easier at night for most nights and maybe one or 2 nights when it's difficult to fall asleep, however even the nights when I fall asleep easily I wake up every hour or hour and a half. I haven't had a single night where I don't wake up less than 4-5 times and it's making me feel extremely frustrated.
At this point I understand that waking up during the night is normal but I am having a hard time accepting it because it makes my nights feel very long and pre insomnia I remember going to bed at night and waking up in the morning.
Hey coach Daniel! I want to say that I have been having much better nights this past couple months thanks to your videos. Although, there are still bad nights, I know they are just temporary. There is one question that I still have and it’s the fear and awareness upon falling asleep. I’m confused of if it’s the fear of falling asleep or if it’s the fear of wakefulness or both. I hope you read this, you are very appreciated !
Hi Tom Tom,
Thanks for being in touch and I’m so glad to hear things have been getting easier :-)!
And this is a very insightful question. I will answer it at length on Friday in the episode that day. Short answer, it’s actually both. Oh, and if you haven’t seen it, check out our playlist on hypnic jerks and hypnic awareness. There’s a link in the description of any new video.
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 I will def watch the video on Friday, thank you!
Thanks for another good video. I have been suffering from insomnia for 5 months, a combination of both variants. On average, I sleep very badly (or not at all) 2-3 nights a week. I have noticed since a week that I am slightly calmer when I wake up in the middle of the night. Often I just stay lying down instead of the CBTi technique of getting up. What I mainly struggle with is the fear of a bad night and the consequences the next day. And during the day I'm still too preoccupied with the upcoming night. Insomnia can really control your life, whereas I prefer to let go… but how?!
Thank you Erik for the encouragement. Sorry to hear there’s been a struggle but I’m glad you found our channel. Many have told me exactly like you. That not feeling forced to get out of bed has been a real relief. Been really preoccupied, it’s something that happens when our brain thinks we are in danger. It will just keep us thinking about some thing. If we for example, go to the grocery store and then think we left the oven on, we will think about that, no matter what we do. if we go home and see that the oven actually was off, then automatically those were your thoughts. Because we feel we are safe.
It’s not that we can control how we feel, but how we feel and we think changes when our brain understands that we are safe.
Something else I can really help when we have been afraid of how we will feel the next day is turning into the unrefreshing sleep playlist, you will see a link in the description of any new video.
Hang in there, and let us know how things go!
Well, Daniel, I finally listened to this ENTIRE presentation! This is one of your better videos.
For the past few months, I have sometimes felt that my brain is having a dialog about whether or not I should go back to sleep. Lately, that has changed to being aware I am awake, but not really sure if that is the case. I have decided this is silly, and it's not a thing to worry about. I am probably dreaming, in fact. Dreaming about being awake. Can you top that?😃 This is not in ANY way the same knowledge that you kept waking up numerous times during the night.
Please keep posting these!
So glad it made sense Sherry 😊 Thanks for listening to all of it and for the encouragement!
Had to LOL at you saying "we almost never check the time and go, 'oh that was nice' and fall back asleep." That made me realize how absurd it is to check the clock
Right?! Glad it made sense and, I want to give credit where it’s due, I learned this from Martin Reed, he’s a brilliant guy, if you haven’t found him he’s here on TH-cam as well 🙂!
What about the dramatic reduction in adenosine in these early AM wakings? I feel like I have spent months working on / improving my sleep anxiety and general anxiety, but still only fall back asleep after my 3-4 hours about 1/2 of the time. It sure feels like I don't have enough "sleep drive", which would support my adenosine theory. I'm admittedly stuck here, thank you.
Hi Dan,
So sorry you’re feeling stuck, but thanks for being here and asking.
I think it’s possible for many things to have a direct impact on sleep regardless of how/if we think about them… this said, insomnia is entirely unrelated to sleep disruption…
With insomnia, self exploration is what truly leads to peace.
For example, “I have spend months working on / improving sleep anxiety … but still only” seeing this Dan can be a big aha moment where we see that we were trying to achieve some things that come from the lack of trying… peace of mind and peaceful sleep… and that can make all the difference.
Hang in there and be in touch, rooting for you to leave the struggle
I would also comment that I feel like I have been training my brain over many months. And being largely successful, with a regular bedtime. Last night was a struggle, but most are not.
I got shutters for my bedroom windows a few weeks ago, and it has probably helped. Not necessarily because it has shut out more light and contributed to better sleep hygiene, but because I feel less annoyed at the amount of light coming in when I am awake in bed. They don't shut out everything, but they help!
So glad things are getting easier Sherry 😊 And yes, shutters can’t shut out how we feel when we think about light coming into the room, or other emotions… but of course if we just like it dark, then that’s nice!
This is perfect timing Dr Daniel. I have been struggling w sleep maintenance since January and intently studying your videos.
I have been trying to make peace with wakefulness but not having as much success. I’m okay w finding enjoyable/neutral activities to do at night but often get stressed about being awake when I know I have to chase my toddler around when she wakes up.
Most days I’m okay with periods of fatigue, but able to get past it with a positive attitude. But this has taken lots of practice and mindfulness. I haven’t been able to fall back asleep much at all.
So yes, befriending wakefulness is hard when there are consequences to consecutive nights of little sleep. Do I just need more practice at this? Not sure how to flip the switch of being at peace w wakefulness entirely.
I think patience and self compassion is very important. It takes time to be okay with wakefulness. You should also allow yourself to be annoyed about the situation that you are awake. Befiending wakefulness isnt always about enjoying the time at night you are awake, its more about being more comfortable in the uncomfortable. So maybe you put to much pressure on yourself. Give yourself the time and see every night you cant sleep as an opportunity to show yourself that you are capable of doing okay even with little sleep. The rest will come!
Mausmi, I’m so glad this was well timed. And the replies you already got were very nice. Maybe check the momsomnia playlist as well as the playlist on unrefreshing sleep, I think both of those can really help. You will find links to them in the description of any new video. One of the most common things that drives our trouble sleeping is the fear of how we will feel the next day. When we understand how the narrative, the storyline, actually matters much more than what happened during the night, that can make a big difference.
@@johnmonk3381 Hi John, are you able to explain this one a little bit further and shed on any experience you have personally had with sleep maintenance insomnia?
I’m in a very tough spot at the moment where I will wake up after only a couple of hours and can no longer call back asleep at all, even on the nights I don’t feel I’m that involved and trying hard.
I’d like to know more information about conditioned fear and how to consistently remain unalarmed with sleep maintenance insomnia long enough for your body to start re learning not stressing out.
I find it very hard as I’m already depleted with low sleep and then have to stay unalarmed to it for long enough until sleep may return.
I wake up after 4.5 hours and can’t get back to sleep. I don’t have to go to the bathroom or anything, just waking up wide awake. I don’t know how to break this cycle, I guess befriending wakefulness is my way out? I tried to befriend wakefulness by just resting and this just doesn’t work for me, I get too frustrated I’m not falling back to sleep
How do you know it’s after 4.5 hours? Sometimes it really helps to not know, and if it’s just a guess… then we can see that it’s just a guess 🙂
I used to have a hard time falling asleep now it’s staying asleep
Sorry there’s this struggle now, but glad you already found this video.. as I think I mention here, this shift is very common and understanding it can help so much
Coach Daniel,
When I wake at night and my mind is racing with thoughts unrelated to sleep is this a result of hyper arousal from fear of wakefulness?
Hi Becky,
To me, this sounds more like that general mind racing we have when we are scared of something, the problem solving mind. If those thoughts aren’t about sleep, then to me it sounds like there’s some hyperarousal related to something else our brain has been scared about. But it doesn’t matter actually, we don’t need to know, because regardless when we aren’t trying to stop it, it bother us less and less
I’ve been struggling with sleep for a while falling asleep isn’t a problem. Let’s say I fall asleep it 830 I will wake up anywhere from 12:30 to 2:30 and cannot get back to sleep. I’m a morning person. Even when I had good sleep. I’m an early riser. My question is about naps. Good or bad.afternoon 20 to 30 minutes in the sleep, hygiene world I believe that’s a Nono thank you for your channel.🎉
Hi John,
Glad you’ve picked up something helpful here already. And this is what I’d say about naps:
When it comes to sleeping in or naps, as well as unintentional sleep during the day including microsleep, it is intent and the reaction to it that matters!
To be super clear - whether you sleep half an hour or an hour in itself doesn’t actually matter, it’s how you think about it that does.
Remember that insomnia is driven by the narrative that being awake is bad, that being awake is a threat and that you have to do things not to be awake.
The more we try not being awake, the more insomnia we have.
So, if you wake up and it is your rise time, but you feel really comfortable and you would really enjoy sleeping a little bit more, there’s no problem!
Because you’re not trying to escape wakefulness by “chasing sleep” or by “getting sleep by any means” or “taking any opportunity to get sleep”. Those are the things that retain the narrative that being awake is not good.
On the other hand, if you wake up and it is your rise time, but you know you could get some more sleep and you want to take that opportunity to get as much sleep as you can, then it’s best to get up!
Same thing with napping, if the intent is simply to feel refreshed, it is fine. If the intent is to catch sleep, best not try to nap.
It is true that if you take a three hour nap, then you probably won’t sleep as much at night as if you didn’t, but that’s just common sense!
Now if you fall asleep unintentionally, whether it’s for a bit or just a few seconds, it’s actually the reaction that matters.
Let’s say you fall asleep during the day (or overslept in the morning) and think “oh no I have destroyed all my chances of sleep at night!”, then that reaction can cause hyperarousal and it can cause trouble sleeping.
Let’s say you fall asleep during the day (or overslept in the morning) and think “ look at that, I fell asleep which means my sleep system is working and a little sleep daytime won’t have much impact at all on how I sleep at night” then there’s no problem.
I'm 40 and have struggled with sleep my entire life, but these past 4 years have been ABSOLUTE TORTURE.
Michael, so so sorry to hear this, but glad you found your way here. Hope that what we teach will really help… rooting for you
Hi Daniel,
Do you have a video about insomnia returning during a phase in life with a lot of stress ? (For example at work, because moving houses...etc)
Hi Denise,
Not specifically, that’s a nice idea for the future. But, we have our speed bump playlist which I think covers what can really help, link in description of any new video
@@thesleepcoachschool8192
Thanks a lot Daniel.
It could be interesting , as I’ve observed that during a stressful time (due to outside factors) when yoir sleep is affected, this can lead to fear creeping back in due to the initial trauma you’ve experienced before. Making it hard to differentiate between normal stress effects and insomnia 🙈
@deniseelisabeth8584 anytime Denise, and you know it can seem important to know whether it’s stress or insomnia… but trying to figure out can lead to another rabbit hole. The thing is both stress related sleep disruption and insomnia call for the same - no intervention
I follow the usual sleep hygiene recommendations
(
Consistent sleep schedule,
Sunlight upon waking
No caffeine after noon,
Dinner a few hours at least before bed (including supplementing with Magnesium/Calcium/Apple-Cider-Vinegar),
Cold Shower before bed
Cool Bedroom
No [blue] light after dark
No electronics in the bedroom except for a Pink-Noise-Machine and a Diffuser with Lavender OIl (Sadhguru recommends a lamp burning organic olive)
Blackout Curtains
Bed should point to the east in the northern hemisphere (never north)
)
In addition I have weighted blankets, and sleep with earplugs (30 NRR). I also have oxygen producing plants in the room (Areca Palm, Aloe Vera, Spider Plant, English Ivy, Pothos Plant) and cover their soil with charged crystals (Amethyst, Quartz, etc).
I fall asleep quickly, usually repeating a mantra ("I am not the body, I am not the mind"). I try to be conscious at the moment I'm falling asleep.
Unfortunately, I wake up after just a few hours, tired and unable to fall back asleep. At this point, I usually put on loose-fitting-socks, and raise the bed temperature by turning on the electric blankets/mattress-pad. The bed has a vibrating feature , so I turn that on as well. If I still can't fall asleep, I place an instant-cold-pack on the forehead and take a supplement (Dream Water / InstaSleep / Som Sleep), although would love to find somethings a bit stronger (Trazodone , GHB, Belsomra / suvorexant).
I've seen some people have had luck with Brain Stimulation (omniperf NeoRhythm, Muse S , Fluxwear Shift, etc), but haven't tried that yet. I also tried wearing 3M tape over the mouth (so that I'm forced to breath thru the nose, but that didn't work for me. I've also experimented with drinking Decaf Coffee with Well Told Health Sleep powder just before bed.. or eating a bowl of oatmeal with warm milk.. but it's hit or miss.
Hi Ben,
Thanks for sharing and you know, when we understand sleep efforts, and that the more things we try to sleep the more struggle we have… then a list like this can be really eye opening…
this is me 1000% after being wrongly put on prednisone steroid for only 1 week.. it ruined my sleep for 1 year and still going.. amazing really it could do that
Glad you could relate Mike, hang in there and hope what you find here will help
Hi Coach Daniel. I have been struggling with insomnia since twenty weeks pregnant back last January. At first, I wasn’t sleeping at all, fast forward to now. I am experiencing multiple wake ups in the middle of the night, not just one. It seems like I can’t get past 2 or three hours. With a lot of vivid dreaming. My question is, would this be concidered maintenance issue? I can usually lull myself back every-time but feels like a ping-pong tournament all night, if you will. Possibly hyper sleep? I look forward to your response :)
Hi LBrooke,
So sorry to hear that this has been happening, but it can help to know that it is very common during pregnancy and also after we have become parents. Everything mention is very familiar, and I think it actually helps not to label it or try to classify it. Rather, we can say that they are all experiences of insomnia, that are very common.
Now, another thing that I think it really helped is to look at our momsomnia playlist. Here’s a link:
th-cam.com/play/PL6RQ1GS7B1chwai9WPUngyfUs7j4w0e1F.html
Hang in there!!
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 thank you so much ! That is reassuring, and I will absolutely take a look.
@@LC35202 anytime! Thanks for being here and for the support 🙏
Omg this is totally me right now hahaha. Past months or last years, it is so hard to sleep haha now i fall asleep easily but wake at 12, 1 or 2. Then boom my mind become active keep thinking things! 🤣
Hi Samantha,
So glad it resonated. And you know, having seen how trouble falling asleep initially fades away when we’re no longer afraid, it can be easier to see that this happens with any way we experience trouble sleeping.
Also, when we no longer know that it is 12 or one or two, that alone can help a lot :-)
Is it OK to listen podcast in bed?
Oh yes! Especially if it’s something you look forward to 😊 Insomnia happens when our brains confused and thinks that being awake is a threat or danger. When we do something that we enjoy when we are awake at night, we are teaching it, that we are safe, and then sleep happens easier.
If I wake up too early, I prefer passive activities, like listening to podcasts, or if absolutely necessary, watching a movie, though that would take a lot to get me out of bed. My father, a very good sleeper, always slept with the radio on at low volume. My mother got used to that. I can tell you that Coast to Coast AM has been a very good radio show for insomniacs over the decades, as well as sustaining many long-haul truck drivers. Even with today's annoying host and all the commercials.
Sounds like a nice way Sherry 😊
This is open to anyone who is curious and would like to respond! Any thoughts/experiences to anyone who has tried sleep science academy with Devin Burke?
Also, question for you Daniel. Will your program help address anxiety or just anxiety related to sleep?? I believe both have a major impact on insomnia.
Hi Megatron,
Thanks for asking and, I know this was perhaps a question for the community but, I did have a call with Devin perhaps two years ago. I was wondering about his approach, and when we spoke over the phone, he said that he took a look at every aspect of his clients life. He said he would look at diet and exercise and the bedroom environment and all kinds of factors and he would use that to try to help his clients.
Now, to answer the question for me, I would say that anxiety is a signal. It is a way that our brain communicates with us. And in whatever we we learn about this, it helps in general. I would say we can’t really separate anxiety from sleep anxiety. So I would say in whatever way we learn about our emotions, it helps with life in general.
I took the Sleep Science Academy, made my insomnia worse by thinking that it was a result of all of those other aspects of my life and trying to fix them, and all the rules. I find Daniel’s explanation of how our brain operates really makes sense. Also now when I think about a “rule” and worry if some particular thing will affect sleep I try to do the opposite to prove to my brain there is nothing to fear. I am finally sleeping after 15 years of insomnia.
For 14 minutes video, 10 minutes go in stating the problem. Expected better that this
Really appreciate this honest feedback 🙏, I will keep in mind to deliver the salient points early and then expand on them later on, for those who want to hear more.