The Nice Covert Narcissist. (Understanding Narcissism)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 ต.ค. 2024
- 9 Covert Mind Games Narcissists Use To Act Nice, While Playing Vulnerable If You Call Them Out.
• 9 Covert Mind Games Na...
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Do they actually think they are the victim/ do they experience genuine distress that makes them think they must be the victim?
They actually believe that... @@Justthegoodstuff-gh2xx
This.... my trust took its biggest hit from " nice " narcissists. I blamed their bad behavior on their trauma, while they traumatized me. 😔
💜💜
The nice covert narcissist got me too. And it happend the same way it happened for you. He fed me a bullsh.t story about an unhappy upbringing, manipulating me into thinking that he was abusing me because he himself was abused and he just didn't know any better. It was months after we broke up when I realized that the abuse was intentional. It was 6 years ago and I am still fcuked up
*edited for grammar
@@IS-dv8uu You have to always tell yourself it wasn't you. Glad he is history so pat yourself on the back for not staying in the abuse and dysfunction and concentrate on the happiness of that!
You are not alone. When they have convinced themselves lies are true we believe them.
It’s really sad when it’s your sister and she has turned your family against you…all because I figured out what she had been doing (stealing from me for the past 12 years and still doing it) and I called her out on it in a family meeting after our dad died. She played the Victim so well I almost fell for it. I am very sad for her because it seems one of the root causes of CN is usually a severe childhood trauma, but we both experienced ongoing childhood trauma. I’m still not sure how to survive this type of family trauma and abuse as forgiveness is a process….I haven’t found a therapist who can help me. Thank goodness for enlightened friends!
She was so nice and kind to strangers and apologized for just about anything. In private, I never heard her apologize to me if she crossed boundaries. Not even an acknowledgment.
Same here
Apologies are not in their vocabulary 😢
Passive aggressive
I had a roommate who was a covert Narc and we would argue in Privacy. I said something to trigger her in public but she didn’t let her mask drop she played super nice. These crazy ppl have mastered their craft
record it and play the video on a tv on a loop for all to see at a party
Hilarious @@macshaw9426
So true! Narcs are deeply manipulative.
My husband has the people of our church snowed!!! THEY see a loving, doting husband. While I, AT HOME, see a man who looks for anything to cause a reaction from me!! I also have Complex PTSD and HE KNOWS IT!!! He will sneak up on me to make me jump and scream. He will either laugh about it and say he 'didn't mean to make me jump', or he will smirk and tell me I need to stop being so touchy!!!!! UUUUUUMMMMM, his behavior is NOT HELPING ME ANY!!! But I called a lawyer this morning. Tomorrow we have a consultation. I'M DONE!!!!
Good luck Nadine! 🖖
Hope you're done. That's a cruel SOB. Not going to fix or change him.
Ex narc (which I even hate to write "my" cuz I despise him) but he was a monster, moody downer pessimist behind closed doors too. On the outside he was so likeable, congenial, glib. That's what erks me to this day after dumping him 7 years ago that he can fool people. Still have to be in touch cuz he just came back in 15 yr old's life. Wants to come out smelling like a rose like he raised her. Ha, what a joke. Typical scenario for those jerks.
Stay on that path! DO NOT fall for his bs and most importantly, DO NOT fall for the bs in your head that is about to go down. Plan on a long haul of recovery. It will be so worth it. I know, I was there.
@@SandraLily2 It's not a long haul if you love yourself more than the narc. And by all means we all grow to hate the narc cuz they're cruel and disgusting. Who would like or God forbid love a moron who treats us mean, wrong, etc?
run and dont look back! get that divorce, dont change your mind!!!! life is way too short, and a better man will come along!!!! make way for the NEW!! 💞💕
Yes. YES. the constant popping around corners to scare and get a laugh, tickling until i felt like throwing up even though i was screaming stop, as long as it was funny to him that is all that mattered. So much more than just that but Growing up with a covert narc father with cptsd, ocpd, among other disorders was a nightmare. I married an amazing wonderful man and escaped but my poor mom is 40 years in and hasn’t gotten out yet.
Con Artists, great at manipulation - usually are charming, charismatic, good looking (not always, whatever that means?). They are Great Actors and what they do to people is Evil. The Truth.
Omg the fake victim crap is intolerable I have a friend is like that she’s intolerable
I've purposely stopped 'helping' certain individuals... because each time the minute they feel comfortable they insist on being in charge and domineering. I call them domineering dependants. Ugh!
When a new person shows up, and acts like she is the most kind, friendly, understanding, "down to earth ", interested in others, "empathetic ", with an almost over eagerness to become everyone's BFF in the workplace, watch out. You may notice that same person begins to criticize and berate one person. Bullying. If you see this, that indicates a potential Narcissist.
“Oh let me help you. (After helping) oh I’m so tired from helping you and you never appreciate when i do and what have you done for me.”
Truth spoken here, and they can't stop lying 🤥🤫🤬💩👍💯🙏❤️✌️
Teal Swan's video, "how nice guys kill" isn't specifically about narcissism, but explained a nice narcissist's psychology perfectly.
Massive difference between "nice" and "kind".
YES! My ex wife would use this tactic on me and others all the time! To the point I would have to start writing down or record the conversation. To make sure that I wasn’t going crazy, when she would argue that she never said or did certain things to me or others!!! RUN!!
SO TRUE ...............Highest form of cruelty
Many people have survived abusive childhoods. As adults we have choices to perpetuate the compulsive repetitive abuse cycle or to inform ourselves and modify our own behavior. All some of us need are patience, encouragement and role models and for others- this adamantly works for them and they do not concern themselves about projecting their turmoil on to others.
most ppl go one of 2 ways after surviving deep trauma and abuse. the turn into narcs, maybe even socipoaths and/or psychopaths...or they turn into empaths. not always, but it happens. im an empath and kind first and always. im even kind to narcs when i know better. but, once im done, im DONE
You obviously weren't that badly traumatised if you were able to choose your way our of repetition compulsion
They’re so difficult to get by
They never help....they always manipulate you into helping them....I had this type of person who repeatedly told me we're family were long list siblings blah blah blah and all they ever wanted/needed was help with their constant drama. Never give these people your time be indifferent then just cut them off.
The goody 2 shoes act is over when you alone with them. Then Jekyll and hyde movie comes on.
Yes... I broke up with him and then gave him another chance... we went out to breakfast and he end up talking to a young lady who works at the restaurant... Not sure how much info he got but something transpired... she might be the new supply... that is a load off my shoulders!
My ex was always playing the victim. Acting like the pure, loyal but fragile person always suicidal and traumatized. Weaponizing my empathy against me to meet their goals.
I, found alot of men have that mind set. Reading from comments. I, experienced that, seen it........got rid of that man. He always was running back. I, never took him back because I, know what I, am looking for in man. It, was not going into a circle. After, him I, achieved my B.A. Degree in Psychology. I, didn't want my time I, spend with him wasted. So I, went to college.
My husband tried this the other day. We had argued in front of my Dad 2 days prior. I’m usually pretty loud lol. My husband had previously tried to set me up to look to look like the aggressor and to look like the bad guy. I was expecting him to try something with my a Dad. So I told my Dad a day after the argument that my husband has 2 faces. And I explained narcissistic people to him. Omg the very next day we sit down to dinner and my husband starts crying and covers his face. My Dad looks at me with an angry face and gestures that my husband is crying. So I asked my husband if he was ok. He immediately said yes wiped his face and acted like nothing was wrong. Later I reminded my Dad that he has two faces and that was an act. I told my Dad he’s trying to turn you against me. My Dad become angry at him and told me that will never happen. I win!!!!
That's why you should never apologize for setting them straight.
The sickest thing is the back biting walking behind you doing sneaky gestures and staring at your throat stare in your face with a cowards smirk knowing they are up to childish punk SHIT always peeking around corners and just wanna see someone nervous and that is what can cause a. Dangerous reaction from a WOMAN who has PTSD and has been attacked many times i mean these people are sniveling chumps and when one says something about it denying and a whole bunch of i nevers
That bloody smirk 😏…… boils my blood.
The nice covert narcissist is a very dangerous person. I was almost murdered by one when I was 4, and she was a world-champion liar... the world outside thought she was my mother. I'm 68 now, lucky to be alive. 🎉
I’ve learned too much on this and now I’ve turned the tables on this dynamic. When they go fake victim on me I step up the pressure, not the sympathy. I will call them out. I will say, “Explain to me how you are the victim when I’m actually the victim and you’re the perpetrator? Explain that.” And then I said, “I’ll wait.” With a cold, hard, intentional stare and not backing down. Of course they have no answer.
And then they tell you, that you are „so cold and emotionless and that the‘ve never seen you like this before“ and ask you if you don’t know any mercy😂
Even if your not Narcissistic. being a "Nice Guy" or a "Nice Girl" all the time is being manipulative, because youll do and say anything to be liked, even giving up your own needs and wants to please others because you fear what others think of you.. being this way makes you twisted and resentful inside and not authentic or real.. so people dont know who you are and can't trust you.... I know because i used to be this way... afraid of upsetting people.. which made me a Narcs perfect target.. Good luck ❤
This is my husband for 23 years MR.NICE GUY !!
I've gone down this narcissist rabbit hole far enough to where it seems like everybody has some of these traits to a certain extent
Same!! So confusing and scary for awhile when I started to really see that. Darn the reticular activating system 🤦♀️ I had to remind myself we all have these characteristics and to watch peoples intent with others over time.
And God still saved me!!
i have seen it said its little unimportant things that they do nice like cookies on your door, pick up a free newsletter for shopper ads, go places Maybe give you a ride somewhere. Nothing you would Depend on..then it stops.
You make me think "hey! Perhaps I should don on a body cam!" 😮
My 41 year old sister has been convincing the whole family and world that her immediate family bully her since she was 25. Its amazing how she has zero shame that she is lying about us to our faces!
My covert narcissist baby daddy got mad when I told him I was moving to r whole big city to chase my dreams 😂 he got mad n tried to manipulate me BUT jokes on him, I read thru his bullshit IMMEDIATELY n bashed him, straight up😂😂
you hit someone who is upset because the mother of his child is moving away?
@@assistantvermaoh come on! she has termed him a narc! 😲 do you even know what that means!?...
NOTE- to term someone a narc will create the image of a narc for the whole world. Now, the people who claim so (with or without solid reasons to back their statements) have the free pass to act as they desire. And yes, they also get rid of their responsibilities.
Sometimes, I do not understand the education of discernment. Because when I met the most nicest and most kindest person in my life, They are the most nicest actually but internally, I feel they don't have their best interest on me.
..."many different mind games"😭💯🖤🔥
In a nut shell, spot on!!
Blimey!...just been wondering ..how do they fool so many people..and here is the answer.brilliant,easy to understand.💜
That's exactly the one i had
Thank You Elizabeth, hope your day is going well. This is the one that lives with me, he is always nice but none of it is true because I see his dark side. The niceness is as a cover for the true evil that is behind it. This type was so hard for me to discern because the fake niceness was so powerful. Now he is constantly trying to bribe me by constantly trying to give me gifts. Hope your day is blessed, take care.
Thank you Ian, hope your having a good day also. 💜
@@Understandingnarcissism Thank you Elizabeth, I am a 24/7 carer for my ex-wife who has a lot of health problems and is in pain everyday. Unfortunately the narcissist is her ex-boyfriend and has successfully manipulated her so that now I cannot expose the narcissist to her because it makes me look bad. So this is how I have to live because if I just left, she would not live long because there is no else to help. I would not leave her anyway because even though we are divorced I am still trying to keep the marriage oath for better or worse. I am basically her best friend, doctor nurse, cook, cleaner, handyman, etc. Because of the narcissist even though I totally ignore him everyday, continues to try and break me. I literally am a prisoner in my own home! However I have not given up, far from it, I am not going to deny Lord Jesus Christ just so that the narcissist can win and be happy. No I am going to patiently wait for God to intervene, because I know he can. Just as Daniel was in the lion's den and God intervened and delivered him, so I too am waiting for God to deliver me and my ex-wife. Take care and I hope your day goes well.
Well said. They're phonies. I grew to hate ex narc so I never felt sorry for him, never ever
Describes a person i was in a long term relationship with. He always played the victim when i tryed to hold him accountable or keep a job.
Covert Ex, whom I divorced...was very very Covert, and he convinced our daughter to be covert also. She's an adult woman and makes decisions for me, that are illegal and not her right to make. Saying No angers them really badly.
This type of behavior you are talking about describes my brother's wife.
💜💜
I feel like my mom is a covert narcissist
Start reading about it. You will find it both heartbreaking and liberating
It’s likely true. I’m sorry for your loss.
If she is.... do not do the mistake of telling her on the face ....she will literally try and screw you up in front of people and not care if your are her child or not ...be emotionally smart ...keep everything to yourself and do not trust her with anything...be your own support system...and do not give her any chance to you to feed into her narrative..... become financially independent ( i do not know your age or if you still studying just saying) ...focus on yourself and protect yourself and do not ever do the mistake of falling into her emotional blackmailing ...she might even use others to hurt you or to get info about you in case you move out ...the flying monkeys ...stay strong 👑 hope it helps sharing with you from my experience of survival
The passive aggressive (covert) narcissist is an excellent read. There bits and pieces in the book that shed light where my sight was fuzzy. I’m currently reading The Narcissist You Know .. so far is a great supplement. It truly is a hard pill to swallow that the first person who typically welcomes you into the world, the person who is supposed to love you unconditionally is the abuser. Have a true friend nearby or on the line when that connection sinks in and some tissues. Best of luck
Mind Games .. . perfect terms
That is the one I was dealing with. He always " acted " nice.
More vids on this type of narcissism...pls. would love to know more
Well said!
I got ripped apart by one of these demons
😢😢😢yes and yes
Before I was enlightened I used to say, all the time; "Everybody loves [name]". Now, I can't believe I said it.
It's when the flying monkeys really lay it on thick with glowing reviews hard and heavy without provocation about a precious so-so, then you know something wrong is hiding in plain sight.
True 👍 ✔️
Mother in law
My wife has done this to her college girlfriend and some of the wives whose husbands I served with.At first I was upset with them,(admittedly I still am to some degree) but I can't logically blame them for being deceived. That would be more than hypocritical on my part.
So spot on!!!
That's EXACTLY what he did at the beginning.... update: all we do now is argue. I usually win though- (I can't let him win 😊).
Be intelligent and love
Soooo true the DEVIL in disguise 🥸
Oh, God, here I am. Here I am. I feel such sympathy, empathy, etc. Oh, I am trying to help and understand and feel sorry for him and make up to him what he is doing to me. Here I am. Here I am. I am helpless when it comes to other's pain.
The minute I close this screen, I will forget these truths.
Th!s is so true. 😩
Interesting would like to learn more ❤thank you
That is true.
Nice.
Absolutely
Yeah sometime you know charming is dangerous so I make sure in God's hands that I see red flags and dogs or other people and females as well thank you Ma.shaw
Until true justice comes..in the afterlife.
This is my father, I’ve gone no contact with him. But I still feel so much love for him and need to take care of him and feel guilty for not dedicating my life to his happiness and recovery
Exactly!!!
Yes, you are very accurate on this. She was so good at it i kept doing the things I did the five years we were together... For another 3 years after she left me. I know, right? Damn! *Shakes head at his own self
All your posts, describe my last boyfriend.. spot on every time.!!
I wouldnt wish this personality on my worse enemy. 😢
My Narcissist female neighbor. 🎻 🎼 😂
this is exact my husband does!
Can you do something on a neglectful narcissist, please 😊
The Neglectful Narcissist. (Narcissist Personality Disorder.) #narcissism
th-cam.com/video/u_G3thSoEtQ/w-d-xo.html 💜💜 I’ll do a short
Why don’t more people talk about this?
You watch them be nice to everybody else and the minute their backs are turned, they switch on you. Its pure evil and demonic
Lovely message,and yes yes they do like there your Best friends trying to convince you that ...(It's only Cyanide,With a Giant S###T eating grin,yes yes ,twisted to become the town crier on there made up delusional plays for attention and affection ,it's SICKENING
I have experienced this and it is so traumatising
💜💜
That would be my sister😮❤❤❤
Feel seen. When she left, I blamed myself
💜💜
Your so right….
This has literally ruined my esteem in all the possible ways.
💜💜th-cam.com/video/kit_3xMqJqw/w-d-xo.html
Girl don’t let anyone ruin your self esteem, don’t let them belittle you or make you feel you’re beneath them because you’re not! They want you to feel like that because they are insecure, immature and they are cowards. They are scared of you believe it or not!!!!!!!!
If you’re still around this person always be ready for some BS because you never know when they are going to start with it. Just don’t let them scare you, just be aware and pay attention. You can’t be scared, just be ready!
If you have left the situation don’t, do not go back no matter what. Do not waste your time! Stay safe!
They truly are wolves in sheep's clothing beware All That Glitters Is Not Gold
Really my mother... (92)...
🎯
Love your shirt
Thank you. 💜
I hope Melania is watching this.
Been their ,their one of the most dangerous nasty vindictive people,stay away from them or they will destroy your reputation and character and your life
Nailed it! 👍😵💫
❤❤❤
My mother
If your intuition sees someting but you cant put your finger on it and until you see them for who the realy are dont get trikt by there nicenes its a snake who take evryting from you frends fam the dont care the the victum
Im only victim if i am with that person still, so he is victim all by himself , like he know he got demon in him and act this crazy
I call these narcissists suck up and butter up type as the smooze to gain attention and things.
Describing my ex to a tea
✔️
DARVO Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim Offender