Q+A | Baby Decision, Acne + Cosmetics
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ก.พ. 2025
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I've always found the way you talk about potentially having children really refreshing. I have gone back and forth about it a lot for a lot of reasons and I've not really come across people before you vocally speaking about not feeling particularly strongly in either way. Thank you for not shying away from topics like this where you do feel comfortable to share
Your honestly and openness about the child(human) topic is so refreshing. We are in the exact same boat about it but maybe a little farther behind in the decision and still very confused. I’m surrounded by people having babies and it’s exciting for them but it still doesn’t help me in the decision process 🥺 thank you for talking about it Katie!
I think your approach to deciding whether or not you want children is really mature and makes a lot of sense. It's one of the biggest decisions in life and will hugely shape the rest of your life. I have a 5 year old and a two year old, so I am still very much in the young children part of parenthood. There's a reason people call it the hardest job in the world. It's all consuming, there's no days off, and it can be so emotionally challenging. Having said that, it's the most rewarding thing I have ever done. There is so much joy in the little things. Watching them grow and learn, develop their own little personality, tastes and interests. The little conversations, watching them loving life doing things they enjoy and having them tell you they love you. Every hard day is worth it for those moments. The love you have for your children is huge!
Having a child is a huge commitment and there's no going back once you've done it. Having a good support network and a partner who is willing to share the load and on the same page is also massively helpful as having kids will test you!
I'm sure whatever decision you make will be the right one for you and well done for taking the time to consider everything ❤️
I couldn’t have said this better! 🥹
You’ve been my favourite person on the internet for many years now and I just think you’re great and really appreciate how authentic you are
You’re right, children and bringing a human into the world is a huge commitment. I’ve never felt strongly one way or the other, I feel that if that’s the right thing for me, I’ll know it. And so far, at 39, it hasn’t been right for me. Not everyone should have kids, not everyone wants kids, and not everyone knows it’s 100% something they want. Sometimes it’s about finding the right person, sometimes it’s about the right situation in life. And sometimes it’s totally unplanned. But, I think if there is hesitancy, any real question of “do I really want this commitment and responsibility”, sitting with the different options is absolutely right way to go. I love that you and G are taking the time to really think through what’s best for you.
My mom had a huge influence in my decision about having a ‘human’ (love that). She passed away when I was 25 and it was one of her last life lessons that she shared with me. How much joy and fulfillment raising us had brought to her life and how much she wished for me to enjoy the same richness in life.
Another one: how do you celebrate Christmas now and envision it for the future? I love having dinner with my dad, brothers and their partners and I love the idea of having that thirty years from now with my own children all grown up
I have always felt the same way as you when it comes to having children, thinking about all of the aspects of having a human rather than just thinking about a baby. My husband and I were in your situation for a while going back and forth. Ultimately we knew we wanted a child but we were just terrified to potentially ruin our wonderful relationship. Then when we flipped it the other way we decided that we had the strongest foundation and we were in the best possible situation to raise a child. I can now say (with a 16 month old who is amazing!) having a child was the BEST decision we have ever made as a couple. Yes your life changes, yes it's hard sometimes but actually when you have the strongest relationship that gives you the best possible chance to be a fantastic team for your child and for each other. There is no better place to start from. Just my opinion x
It’s really refreshing to hear you talk about the decision to have (or not have) children. As someone who knew I didn’t want children from a young age I always struggle with some people’s lack of thought process to the subject. I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer for all but I think as a society we should be more open to these mature conversations. ❤
Love to hear you taking about the child/human decision. I’ve messaged you previously because it’s something that always played on my mind every other day. Im not maternal, im not great with babies & I came to the decision that I was happy and content with our life together with or without children. My husband leant more towards having a child so we decided we’d try & I fell pregnant very quickly. I had our little boy in November & already I can’t imagine life without him. What did we do with all that free time?! (Play video games for me, which I do miss!) but yes, I miss the free time but seeing a human that is part my husband & part me smile at us in the morning makes it all worth it.
Take your time to decide what you want. It’s not a decision to be taken lightly but either way you will be an amazing mum if it’s what you choose & equally aslong as you’re happy as you are then make your peace with that. M
P.s. Play Dead by Daylight the video game if you have the spare time
When you said you were turning 37 my jaw hit the floor. Your skin is so lovely! You'll age beautifully.
Totally agree with you about children! I find it strange people don't seem to think about a baby growing up and being an adult!
You're taking such a responsible attitude to the children's decision if you're not sure. I always knew I wanted children and it showed me just how much when we went through almost 2 years of trying ro conceive, a miscarriage and then another few months trying. Having our baby taken away from us made me so sad but at the same time made me want it even more. Our little boy brings us so much joy it's unbelievable, but it is such hard work and the lack of sleep is real. He's 16 months and still doesn't often sleep right through. I think you also have to consider your family situation because childcare is expensive and time to yourself is pretty rare. It's so helpful if you have family nearby who are willing to help x
Katie i absolutely love how honest you are around yours and G's decision to have a baby. My husband and i have been together for almost 14 years and we never felt very strongly about having a child and as weve grown together we are just so content as we are. We have a dog, a cat and 2 snakes and we absolutely adore our animals. I have no doubt thst if we had a child we'd be great parenrs, but we dont feel strongly about having them and when coming down to it, financially we would probably struggle. Although life isnt about money, we want to be comfortable enough to not have that as a stress.
We'd also not have the freedom to do what we want, when we wanted and another factor is that i wouldnt want our relationship or dynamic between us to change at all.
However, i am 37 and am surrounded by frienda and colleagues with babies/children and i feel like a weirdo not having a strong maternal feeling towards children. I feel much more strongly about animals and my pets 😂
Good luck with whatever you decide. Your rationale will ensure you make the right decision for you ❤
Really relate to your thoughts on whether or not you both want a human! Another thing that a friend said to me once is that nobody ever talks about having a child with a disability. We imagine our decision with a completely able-child, but people dont discuss what would happen if they weren't. What if the child needed round the clock care? Which of you would have to sacrifice their career? I don't think that should necessarily need the focus (no point in worrying unecessarily), but equally, I think those conversations need to be had. It's absolutely not the same, but we have friends who have dogs who have additional needs and it is absolutely not what was expected when they got them. It's made it way harder, and I dare say some of them regret it.
100%! My husband and I find ourselves in a similar undecided situation, weighing up pros and cons of potential parenthood. In the last few years friends have had children with unexpected needs that mean they will probably never live independently outside the family home even when they are adults. This is not to say there is anything wrong with their children - they are wonderful. And my friends are extremely strong, loving and committed parents, and always knew they wanted to have children and were ready for whatever that challenge looked like. But as someone who is already unsure about giving up my childless freedom, their situation has made me consider the decision even more carefully and really think about how big and difficult the change could/will be. I love hearing this being talked about and I value the openness and honesty so so much. Having a human is the right term (I love that you said this!), and humans are all very complex and unique, whether they have a disability or not. Your child will still be your child even when they are 40 years old. It is a lifelong commitment which is too often undersold as 'deciding whether or not to have a baby'.
I love to watch you evolve, mature and blossom over the years....searching for true happiness and contentment, that doesn´t have to involve buying lots of stuff. Keep on the search...God bless zou, dear Katie. love. Kat xxx
Me and my partner had the same feelings towards children. Partly because I was told I couldn’t have them. We decided to leave it up to fate… we knew we would be happy either way, but wanted to let the universe decide for us. That way we felt that we couldn’t regret not having children if it never happened for us. I knew in my heart that I wouldn’t feel comfortable making a definite decision either way. It did take 5 years, but we had a baby girl and she is the light of our lives. I’m not going to say its been easy and i definitely miss the freedom, but I wouldn’t change it for the world ❤
„It’s not a baby it’s a human“ ♥️ love this!
I was always a person who knew i needed to be a mom. Didnt get a chance until i was 33, ended up being a single mom.
I miss freedom, i missed sleep for the first 2 years. I miss money 😅.
I think the key factors to consider are finances (maternity leave, childcare, child expenses..diapers and formula are so expensive), your "village"/community that could be a support, mental health support (i have pmdd and was super worried about postpartum depression. Prozac helped me to stay sane.) And knowing that id your physical body goes through changes it can be hard bounce back right away sometimes. Make sure you and your partner figure out how to balance the childcare and work and home care so that youre not overburdened...that part can take time to iron out.
The hardest part was for me 10000% the lack of sleep.
I dont regret having my daughter but oh my god we have ridden the struggle bus a few times.
Love how honest you are on all the topics,have a lovely day x
Very refreshing to hear your thoughts on kids. I've never had that maternal drive to have kids and now getting married later this year, really have to think about the future and what my partner and I want. I way up the pros and cons often but you're right, you lose something either way! Such a difficult decision.
Really enjoyed this video. I do find your thoughts on having a child very interesting and you are so right in that there will always be somethings you are missing out on no matter which road you take! Funny that you mention people wanting a baby, I knew I wanted a child and could see a family in my future but could take or leave the baby stage! I now have a 3 month old and he's great haha but I only ever imagined myself with an older child. I'm sure whatever you decide will be right for you both😊
Loved this video, would love to see your updated skincare routine and products you recommend 🥰
I loved Somebody Somewhere tv series what a brilliant show
Couldn’t agreed more about the “having a human not just a baby”
No one will ever know one way or the other! I’m lucky to be surrounded by child free friends and friends with children
For me I get to spend so much time with kids that it fills my bucket and my friends with kids appreciate the balance of having friends without kids!
I’m proud of you both talking about it so much as a couple too it’s not something to do lightly either way! x
Thank you for talking about the baby decision. My partner and I are kind of in the same place. We are in gauged and have been living together for around eight months in our new house. We talked about the idea of children but both of us are so unsure. There is positives but there is negative‘s and he says he is happy with his life as it is but at the same time if I wanted a child thinks he would be okay, but I think he’s leaning more towards now but it depends on me and I am so unsure so it’s nice to know I’m not the only one out there that feels this way.
Everything on TH-cam and everyone around me right now is announcing that they are pregnant and I’m happy for them, but I just kind of feel nothing like okay. I don’t know if that’s a reflection of how I feel about the situation though or because I had a bad experience last year.
Hey Katie ! I love following you ! 🤗 I am romanian (living in France) and the fact that you brought up Romania filled my heart with joy ! ❤ If you go again, I recommend Timisoara (my hometown). It’s a very nice city to visit ! Also Oradea is beautiful. Hugs !
I’m exactly the same I never think of it as a baby, I think of it as do I want to raise a whole human and the teenage stage is something I think about a lot and for me I always come back to no I don’t want it, I enjoy our quiet life and tidy house far too much with our fur babies to give it up ❤️
Before I met my fiancé I was really set on not having children. I loved my life and the freedom but when I met him I realised I really wanted to raise a child with him. For me I think having children should be a f*k yes or a no because they’re so challenging and it’s a lifelong commitment. I’m also very black and white and don’t understand grey areas.
I’m due to have my first little one next week and I’ve followed your decision journey at the same time my husband and I went through the same process. Every thing you say Is so relatable and even now days away from our child arriving all of your points still resonate in different ways.
The only thing I can share from our choice was we felt we would be happy either way with our lives and there was definitely never a ‘moment’ of clear clarity just that we felt ready to be able to take that step together.. also ironically after going back and forth for a few years on the decision we fell pregnant after our first try so that pretty much removed any further conversation of well it’s taking time is this right for us or maybe not meant to be 😂
I went for a walk with my then fiancée - by a river in the countryside - sunny day, feeling great. We came across a massive family having a picnic and they asked us to take a photo of them. We happily did so. Something just clicked in my heart in that particular moment. Something about seeing multiple generations sitting there together that day. Honestly it was like a switch. Fell pregnant soon after, now married with 2 boys having our own adventures. No regrets but I do sometimes think about my alternate universe self and what she might be doing!
Katie! If you’re doing NY in October: There aren’t a ton of Halloween decorations because most people live in apartment buildings. (Decorations are bigger in family-oriented suburban neighborhoods.) However if you go, you have to check out Lillie’s Victorian Establishment, a bar by union square that goes ALL OUT on decorations. There will be a lot of bars with halloween-themed cocktails too. It’s also hard to see leaves in the city (even in central park). I’d recommend a couple hour “leaf peeping” boatride along the Hudson River. You can easily get tickets for a boat leaving from Chelsea Piers.
Also America's a shit show right now so...idk of id recommended it as a vacay
Hi Katie. It’s not as straightforward as a yes or no. My husband and I met when we were 18 always spoke about having kids but decided that we wanted children,but in our early 30s. Unfortunately for us it wasn’t meant to be. 4 failed IVF cycles later,countless tests etc I was told I am unable to have children. We are defeated! .I think if you feel strongly that you dont want them as much as you do want them the decision probably is a no. Good luck with everything though and I hope you come to peace with whatever you decide. ❤
My husband and I were back and forth on kids for a while for all the reasons you mentioned. We decided on no because and the end of the day like you said it is a human, and alot of people feel this urge to have a child. We did not feel that urge for a child. We did not want to bring a human into this world without them being so incredibly wanted. My advice is that if you are “meh” or “maybe” on a child it is a no.
Wow, I 100% can relate to your opinion about children, just really 100% to what you said. Thank you for sharing, but I would never ask anyone those kind of questions 😅
In terms of decision-making we were thinking of using some kind of graded system, like not every pro or con has the same weight for us and also for some cons they are temporal etc. This is the best that we came up with so far.. And another thought was that what we will regret more, kind of opposite way of thinking from what will make us happier.
On children, it's a no from me. I know it would make me so miserable but of course there's a few percent of sadness in that. I think really only around Christmas, which makes me think media advertising causes that, but otherwise I'm very comfortable and happy with the decision. With a new partner I'd tell them this on date 1, or even before that, as to not lead them into a false security ❤
Also, can I ask, is Sunday your new upload day?
I have the same thing with my moods before periods! How many days before your period do you notice it starts?
I feel like mine is 7 days.
Thanks for sharing :)
Hello from Romania! I would love it if you would come to Cluj-Napoca, I could possibly show you around and I have great restaurant and bakery recommendations. ✨
I have always left the ads on too.
Now I have started my TH-cam channel. Much more aware. And definitely I have so much admiration fir TH-camrs, it is timely, hardwork but incredibly satisfying❤ Thanks Katie❤
Random Q but would you recommend Dr Ahmed? I'm in my early 30s and thinking to get baby botox as I'm noticing some wrinkles and am getting married next year (I am based in London too) x
we lov you in Brazil!
With the baby (or human) decision ultimately I don’t know anyone that has regretted having children but a few that are left thinking what if when the time has passed, even having your fertility checked isn’t a 100% way to find out if you will be able to conceive or not so I’d say leave it to fate and if it’s meant to happen it will
I don’t want children, but I do catch myself thinking about it. I think I like the *idea* of children, but not actually having them. I think society has conditioned me into thinking my life won’t be complete until I get married and have children.
Another thing I tell myself during these thoughts is “if it’s not 100% a yes, it’s definitely a no.”
Katie thinks of all the things you could knit the baby 😅❤
Children are the embodiment of hope for the future.
What does this even mean??
Having children is a big risk - what will they grow up to become? What will the world be like for them? No one would have children if they believed the future to be unbearably bad; humans have children not just out of a biological drive to continue the species, but out of the hope of them going on to create an increasingly better world.
@@ScarefulStories that’s a beautiful sentiment & I know it’s true for many - but many people also have children carelessly, without hope (and sometimes consequently raising them poorly) - also, adults who choose not to/cannot have children, and who are living a full life, sometimes in service of others, and caring for their communities (including other people’s children), can also be an embodiment of hope for the future.