As someone who is struggling with the same, I’m proud of you for posting this video. I struggle with hyper independence, perfectionism as well as anxiety and depression (both recently diagnosed). I don’t know how to explain how much this video helped me to see that there are others who “have a good life”, but mask it well. Being the friend who maintains my relationships with others leads me to not celebrate myself as I should…and it is HARD. I’m scared to make new friends based on how others treated me…and it’s lonely and exhausting. You’re a beautiful soul, and if I was in New York, I’d definitely reach out. ❤❤
Hi Tisha, I appreciate this comment so much! It’s very comforting to hear other’s experiences and thank you for being so real with me. By sharing this video, I wanted to break down that “facade” that everything is amazing all the time, because that’s just not true. I strive to keep it as real as possible on my channel, to share life as it is, and hope it helps someone else
I’m a 27 year old black women living in Florida with no family or friends. I spend 80-90% alone. You literally described all Of my feelings. I want more for myself …I’m so driven and ambitious but battle with loneliness, anxiety , and been emotional lately. It’s been rough for me to privately. Thank you for being vulnerable
This was me when I moved to Orlando in 2017… I’m not the most social person so it don’t bother not knowing people but I felt so awkward going to theme parks and doing activities by myself but I enjoyed a Facebook group (my black Orlando ) and I just started meeting people there. You might wanna check your area to see if you have things like this … they have groups like black millennials *insert city* etc… hang in there ❤
girl you're not alone! its hard to make friends nowadays . even with putting yourself out there and joining activities that doesnt even guarantee that you'll form a close bond with someone. i blame social media honestly. when you go outside most people don't interact with one another. everyone is glued to their phones. even small talk is considered "weird". my motto is to just not force anything and friendships/relationships happen when you least expect it. as a native new yorker, nyc is also not the most friendliest city. so that also makes it difficult as well.
That's very true! I remember there was a time in my life when I was DESPERATE for friendship. I remember I even enrolled in a course just so I could be around people purely for the purpose of making friends and I was sooo dissapointed when I never met any good friends there. I had a lot of hope that I would at least click with one person but I never did. Sure, I did talk to some people but those people were purely acquaintances and not people I had anything in common with. The fact that I even put myself out there for me to get massively dissapointed lmao it was such a let down, but that goes to show that you cannot force friendships. It will arrive when it needs to. 🥲
I speak to most people 😂😂😂. I noticed that literally making someone talk to you brightens their light. Ik it’s annoying but idc, my mission is to spread kindness❤. It’s working for me. My sons say to me: “Mom, you know everyone and they like you!”😂😂😂(of course I don’t know everyone nor do they like me).
In the 90s when I was a youngster, we didn’t have cell phones nor social media like now, so we still was intune to one another and still loved seeing each other and being engaged with one another. I hate that people think small talk is weird now…how else do you get to know someone at the start??
Seven years ago, I stopped all social media and I stopped watching the news. A few years after that, I discontinued relationships that were not positive for me. After these interventions, I noticed that feelings of depression and anxiety improved SIGNIFICANTLY. Do what you’ve gotta do, sis. We love you and we support you ❤️
A timely comment for me to see. I'm on a social media/news diet, today. I'm here, so I'm clearly watching some stuff, but it needs to be nourishing and authentic. Taking a break from extremes or things that simply don't serve me. Thank you for this comment! And S/O to the creator of this video -- than you, too, beautiful -- so brave and awesome and many people understand. I hope this video is helping to spark the very kind of community you need, want and deserve!
This is more common than most people know and it's so hidden and camouflage! And because we don't show what you shared we find that we're lonely when actually loneliness is a community in itself! Most are just not bold enough honest enough or courageous enough to share it as you have.
I really feel for you! When I moved to NYC I did not have 1 friend. The only way I made friends was though work, church, and salsa dancing lessons. I know you don't physically go to a job so that makes things even more hard for you. Find some activities to do on a regular basis where you see the same people over and over. By doing that, hopefully you can get close to a couple people in a natural/ organic way. 💗💗💗
@@nk.medani Jah & Jahes love sista. Good for you. I have a Sun/Son who is about your age he was born in 1997, he's my firstborn and he wanted to move to Seattle, Washington when we were together about 13 years ago. I miss him dearly. Your most recent video touched me deeply and I thought about him. Please stay safe, and I pray that you find a good, healthy group of people to build community with. Blessed love.
@@nk.medaniI was about to say NYC is the easiest place to make friends I promise you. You just need to find hobbies and put yourself out there. I met friends in union square and had the time of my freaking life over & over again. From a native that moved to another state and dearly misses it.
Social media is fake AND AT THE SAME TIME EXHAUSTING! I relate to this so much, and I think you should just take a break or something and enjoy life without it girl!
Social media is a huge part of my job and I do love it, so it’s not something I’m going to quit, but I’ve been taking steps back this week to re-center myself!
Many of struggle with loneliness and isolation. I am one of those people. I don't have social media to help,envious of those who do.i crave just one or two people to be in my life. I pray that you get what your looking for. I am sure you will find your people. You seem like a nice person. Hugs
Girl you not alone! I moved to Florida at 40 years old to take a better job didn’t know ONE soul! Lean on your friends back home…I talk to mine DAILY….if you love NY stay in NY! I relate so much to
Agh this is so true. Even at 46, I struggle with feeling the same way at times despite having a child and husband! I often feel like I’m not doing enough to fulfill my potential outside of being a wife and mom. And even with adults, it’s hard to often navigate the world of friendships! So know you aren’t alone, and even at different phases of life, the same feelings can come up. Thank you for being so transparent and open. I think it’s healing to do that! ❤
I understand and agree with you 100%. I moved from the South to New England a couple years ago, I am still trying to connect and fit in. I journal and have come to realize that no one has it together all the time and it is to cry and let it out. I admire you sharing and your honesty. ❤
Here are some suggestions as someone who moved from Cali to east coast… I’m originally from the east but lived in Cali for most of my life. -try volunteering for fun events and museums. That’s how i built a network of friends -say yes to most opportunities to socialize, even if you don’t really want to. Remember you can always stay for an hour and leave -follow ig pages that talk about stuff to do in your city and post weekly events -take small day trips on the weekends to other cities and towns nearby to change scenery. That’s easy in nyc -as a west coaster, it’s easy to be overwhelmed by the fast pace and mannerisms of east coast people. Keep an open mind and don’t take things personally. Accept New Yorkers for who they are.
I am also from the East Coast and move the California and I am still pretty unhappy but I’m much better than I was the first years that I started becoming home sick, which wasn’t right away. I found the people in LA to be really indifferent and self-centered. On the East Coast people may be busy and fast paced but they care. What does help also, are the thoughts that we think as we’re going through anything. it’s called a voluntary stress versus involuntary stress. When we’re not making the choice about some thing, we can have a really negative thoughts enduring it.
@@TenTenJ Same been here now 20somethin years...now today I have God in my life. If it wasn't for my relationship with Jesus Christ...who knows. Get connected to Jesus Christ God Bless you 🙏
I'm a lot older and have been fiercely independent as an adult. Recently, however, I lost both my siblings/ best friends, and for the first time, I am experiencing feelings of loneliness and melancholy. Hang in there. We're cheering for you.
OMG! "All of my life experiences with wanting more for myself and elevating in my life has left me with being hyper-independent" This is exactly how i feel as a 21 year old living in nyc!! You're not alone girl, it truly is hard to find genuine people on the same wave as yourself, wanting more but also people to share that with along the way. I guess this is adulthood for some of us, but i know it will get better soon. Cheers to us
I feel what you're going through. I've been here for almost 37 years (born, raised & still here, and the only thing that helped me was cultivating a relationship with God. My love and peace to you. ❤️
@unabashed Why do you feel the need to say that? It's infantile. If you don't believe in God you have the liberty to do so, but to mock and ridicule others ( incorrectly I might add) who are giving honest feedback on how their faith helped them is cruel and cynical behaviour. It suggests you have a bitter heart.
Hi, I'm 56 years young lol and at times, I go thru the same thing. Your post popped up last week when I was looking up apartments in NYC and it did this morning. I have this desire to live in NYC if only for a year. I'm finding for myself although I too crave connection with others, I'm going it alone. I do understand everything will happen in Abba timing. Just keep doing what your doing, keep the faith, it will all work out dear.
We have to hook up sister. I am 57 and want to move to NyC as a nurse for only a year. Let’s chat soon. I am normally a loner. But I felt the need to reach out to you. I am in Texas now.
I love reading stories like yours. I see mostly 20 somethings sharing NYC content and it's somewhat entertaining but when a 32 year old has branded herself as "older" it leaves me wanting to see more mature people sharing about NYC or being new anywhere at 40, 50, 60 and beyond
@@NURSEGOGETTA58I just turn 58, born and raised in Brooklyn, NY no kids just me, I'm loner but I do get lonely for some sister friends, I'm looking to join some creative workshops, but it would be nice to have someone to hangout with. It's funny how you can feel so alone in this big city. Maybe we can all hook up one day🙂
This is the truth. I have never been lucky with friendships so I’m learning to be alone. Just love myself and be closer to my family and most importantly God
I moved from California to Copenhagen . It has been a massive struggle. So far in 2.5 years I have made 2 genuine friendship and 1 friend had to move back to Tunisia. I felt a massive sigh of relief when I found my church. They are like a family to me here. It literally changed my mindset. I do want to go home but I know GOD will make a way for me ❤
I understand how you feel. I've gone on the journey of self-improvement, and it hurts. But from what I've learned, the hurt is the shedding of old energies so that I can make room for new energies. Glad you are sharing in an authentic form. You will be ok. Growth is happening to you🙂 Your people will come.
Wow!…So courageous of you NK to open up and share 👏🏽👏🏽 I’ve moved a couple times within the last year and what has helped me connect to people is “volunteer work “ I’m currently volunteering for two organizations in my community. My local library and hospital. I really had no idea how much I needed this. I figured I was helping them, but no they helped me! lol. Also maybe you should call your family and take a trip to see them. So they can love and pour into. Sometimes the phone just isn’t enough…and maybe look into talking to a professional about your feelings and thoughts? Sorry for the long paragraph. I’ve been there before and all of these solutions have helped me. Maybe it can help you and others in the comment sections. Love and gratitude 🙏🏾
It gets worse before it gets better. NY has a tendency to swallow you up, but in a place so huge, it just takes putting your foot on the gas in terms of connecting with others AFTER you’ve connected with yourself. Everyone is there to make it and genuine friendships can be scarce and temporary. When you least expect it, it’ll honestly fall right into your lap. Take advantage of the spaces you feel welcomed in, and refrain from setting expectations for what you desire out of new connections/relationships. True longlasting friendships will be with people who drift and float throughout ANY CATEGORY! I’m rooting for you! You got this boo. Cry it all out. Every tear is a step towards a revelation. ❤️❤️❤️
I can relate with you. However, I had to find my own tribe. I volunteered. I visited churches and attended Bible classes. I went to paint night classes alone, and met people. I participated in meet ups related to arts and sports. I enjoy golf. I found a group of women that enjoy golf. I joined local business chapters for entrepreneurs. I volunteered at the museum and at the animal welfare. It took me a while, but I have a group of friends that I can call within the same town. It’s not easy
Same here. I moved to a new city, about 3 to 4 hours away from immediate family and friends. I do have one uncle that's local, but that's my uncle. I volunteer and attend activities in my my community to meet people.
I can so relate I’m a Newyorker born and raised and I’ve always felt like I’ve never quite fit in I thought it was just me so it’s refreshing to know I’m not alone I know I’m truly introverted always have been but I think it’s because I fear rejection or not fitting into a certain status quo, but I have learned to be my own bestie & loving myself for me making my home more suitable for me helps a lot & newyorkers aren’t the friendliest so don’t stress it you will be fine just keep being & doing you because there are us that are watching 👍🏽🌞
I adore you for this video. You are not alone, I moved to Texas from California and I’ve felt the loneliness for so long I shop just to be around people I ask strangers for their opinion just to have a conversation. I never felt close to my family and I always wanted my own family like with my husband and children and so that didn’t last long. I’m 48 and don’t want to leave this world lonely.
You totally get it! There are many times I go to coffee shops just to be around others, even if I’m not interacting. It’s so interesting how life has shifted, but I know that I have to keep putting myself out there ❤
Videos like this truly are comforting to know that we are all feeling similar things ♥️ life is hard for us young people and we’re constantly gaslit to be grateful and be happy but these are real feelings ♥️
thank you megan for this comment - it means alot to hear this! alot of people think that this isnt something to bring up, but thats false. have an amazing day!
First off, I must say that I love you make such great and amazing content. I can relate to you in such a way because I've been living in NYC my whole life (born & raised) and even with being the oldest out of 8 siblings, I still feel out of place because I don't have a community of friends. I know it's a struggle for most of us and I can only truly pray that you find that great community because you are amazing, you are worthy, you are loved, and you deserve it. WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER WITH YOU❤🥰
This video popped up when I was scrolling through other videos and I’m 40 and feel the exact same way. But please allow yourself some grace and take the time you need to “figure it all out”. I haven’t done even a portion of the things that you’re currently doing and have settled in this stuck mindset. I’ve accepted that my dreams and aspirations were never meant to be and have learned to force myself to be okay with it in my solitude as well as outside of it. On that note, I wish you the absolute best and absolute peace of mind and encourage to keep pushing forward even when it seems impossible 😊
I don’t live in NYC but I can totally appreciate your vulnerability. It’s not easily moving to a new city. You’re so brave. We only show the good stuff on social media and don’t really let people see the real us. It’s hard to break into already established friendship groups and so I can understand the frustration of always being the one to initiate contact. Have you connected with other influencers who have moved the NY themselves? They would also understand how you feel. Best of luck. Keep being yourself and keep trying. All it takes is meeting one person and that person can open you up to a new network. ❤
You’re right social media is fake. I deleted all of mine I only have TH-cam. Cut off all the users in my life too. Don’t stress the people that are for you will come. The journey to self is way better than anything I’ve ever experienced. Once you let got of resistance and accept what is you’ll be fine. 🙏🏽💞
Girl, you're so strong 💪 ❤ NYC is the most difficult city to live in. I lived there for 13 years and I left. There are so much things are happening there behind the scene. For you it is a great experience - surviving in NYC is like surviving an apocalypse. You should be proud of yourself ❤
Hey. I went through this too and it was God calling me. I started to pray and read my Bible daily. I think He’s calling you, He isolates His chosen ones.
I felt this was when I first moved on my own from California to Texas, where I knew now one. What helped me eventually, was I had gotten a dog and would make friends at the dog park. And then when I eventually had kids, it was finding people who also had kids their age or people Who shared the same interests as me. Now that Im older I definitely choose my friends more carefully and would rather be alone than be with bad company. I hope you feel better, I enjoy your content and want you to know you are not alone in feeling this way.
You will be fine! Hang in there! What you're feeling is temporary! You live in NYC. Trust me when I say you will meet all kinds of people! I don't know what you do for a living, but you start meeting people at work. I see you like working out. You will definitely meet people while you're working out! But it all takes time! As you get older, you won't even want to meet people anymore. You're going to be content with yourself! But for now, try to enjoy your time alone instead of trying to connect with people, connect with yourself. I wish I could live alone again! I WISH!
Stay strong it is hard to make friends. Living in New York myself a lot of times people are horrible at reaching out and keeping friend connections. But NYC always have events and summer festivals where you can meet people.
When I stopped watching and reading all news around NYC I realized how different my reality is as opposed to what is portrayed on the news ! I feel so much better too
I hope things get better with you soon! Its actually such a common occurrence after making a big move like that, extrovert or not. Where I found like-minded people after my own similar move is through hobbies and shared interests. Joining consistent community classes whether that's in painting or crafts etc etc, book clubs, and through those activities you may be able to meet more likeminded people and their friends, this is assuming you haven't done this already! But ultimately there is definitely a light at the end of the tunnel whichever way you chose to go.
I feel this deeply since I also moved to NY 6 months ago by myself and don't know anyone. Other than talking with coworker friends, it sometimes feel like I'm missing out on building memories and deeper bonds with friends and a community. I do a lot of deep self work but sometimes wish I had close tribe to confide in while living here. But watching other women like you living independently and powering through feels so empowering and not as lonely in my experience ❤
I moved to Miami for 3 years and felt this way, but it allowed me to heal and grow. THEN I moved back to my home state and felt even MORE lonely since I’m from here and have no community. It’s beautiful to grow but it can be a lonely journey. Peace to you. We will find our tribe 🥰
I felt this same way when I was living in New York. Similar situation with close friends living in other states. My work and college friends while I was there however slowly became my NYC tribe. It will take some time but it will happen naturally. Thank you for sharing because this is very real and your are not alone in this experience!
Are you from NY? New Rochelle is pretty nice, I grew up in the surrounding area on the sound. I hope you like it. There are a lot of nice places to go. There's a really good pizza shop on Main St. (Fratelli's) And you will be close to Glen Island park. And you will be close to City Island. Let me know if you have any questions, I would be glad to help if I can. 😊
thank you for sharing this and for being so vulnerable. this is definitely a feeling i can relate to and something i think about a lot, so you’re definitely not alone in it 🥺🫶🏻
Thank you for watching! Reaching all these comments from this video, it shows that a lot of ppl are feeling the same way, and for me, that is worth the video upload ❤
I am a native of NYC, and I know how it can be lonely despite a large population. My advice to you is not to focus on meeting "friends" because when you prioritize making friends, you can attract toxic people because you are valuing friendship for the sake of having "friends." I used to value having friends and began accepting anyone who would want to be my friend in my life, and they always were toxic people (although it wasn't apparent at first). I ended up being unhappy in these "friendships", as most times I ended up being used by these people, and many treated me disrespectfully. My desperation to have friends was really what caused me to be in that predicament. I know this sounds cliche, by you should focus on attending events or engaging in activities that meet your interests (which in itself will make you happy) and keep up with your real friends by meeting up with them periodically. If you always wanted to do a hobby or pursue a dream (dancing, art,etc.), participate in activities toward your dream or hobby. You will inevitably meet people who are as passionate as you and you'll eventually develop REAL, solid friendships. "Friendships" can be overrated because most people who YOU believe are your friends, you later will learn are acquaintances and don't value your "friendship" (rather don't value your person) the way that you value them. Those people who YOU have to initiate contact with don't value you, and they don't deserve your friendship or your time.
I felt every bit of what you are experiencing! Been trying to find my "tribe" for quite some time. I recently retired and now find myself lost alone and depressed daily. Working only got me out of the house but did not provide me with any connections or joy. Same with my church. People say call me, let's get together etc. but when the time comes they flake or you require more than what they are capable of giving. I have so much bottled inside but don't want to write a long story. I'll end with I'm praying for your continued strength and that things will get better for you.❤
I can totally relate to this video. Moving to China all the way from Jamaica has me feeling like this at times. I've had my silent battles and those days are so hard when you have to pull yourself together because you have responsibilities. I'm also someone who feeds off energy and it does make me isolate at times. I've realized that I just have to ride the waves when this happens.
I’m a Native New Yorker and I’m a 59 yr old only child. I relate to you thoroughly when you say you’re hyper independent. Trust me when I say it takes a lifetime to find true & supportive lasting friendships but be patient my love you are a beautiful soul, and you deserve to have an equal amount of beautiful souls around you to share your world of interest, happiness and success.❤
I lived in nyc last year and felt EXACTLY the same way!! Very discouraging to feel you don’t have the level of friendship that you need/want, especially when you see others that do have that. I hope that you’re able to find the support you need soon!! ❤️❤️
here is what i was told that kind of stuck with me...if you want a community to lean on be the person other's can lean on. if you want to find deep friendships with kindred spirits, volunteer somewhere you feel passionate about and you will find others on your wavelength...when you take the focus off yourself and help others, your world will open up!!!! you might have done all these things so i'm not saying you don't know this but just relating advice that helped me a lot.
Hang in there! Moved to Florida with family and was super depressed at first. But had to find my rhythm and gym, and life is better 3 years later. Will always miss and love Baltimore!
Good morning! I just came across your channel, and I want to send you positive vibes because you got this!!! I’m a 60 year old retired single woman and my 2 children are grown; I feel that way sometimes, and I talked to God and I ask him to give me the strength and encourage to go on. It’s going to get better; just wait and see!!!🙏🏽❤️
I clearly understand what you are going through. That is why I reached out to you a couple of weeks ago in 1 of your TH-cam Short videos. I truly understand too. Remember, I too am a New York City resident. As I was telling you (you can always lean on me). Thank you for being so honest in this video. I really appreciate you showing your true self in this TH-cam video upload of yours.
I feel you baby girl! The literal PAIN in my chest that this deep loneliness gives me... it's unbearable. But just know, the pain will past. I'm also in my period of deep loneliness (haven't talked to anyone for almost four months and spend 99% of my time alone, working from home, in a new city where I know NO ONE) Ugh, it's soooo hard, but I know one day, we're going to look back at this period of our lives and be so proud and so glad we didn't give up. THIS TOO SHALL PASS✨ Sending you so much love, from a fellow girlie in her late 20s.
I'm so happy you shared this. Just know you're not alone in your journey... I've HIDDEN this same situation for many years. Your Breavery gives me MORE INSPIRATION than I can express. THANK YOU...Sending YOU Love, Light and POSITIVE VIBES ...💛🙏🏾💚🙌🏾🫶🏾❤️
Stay strong! It takes time to understand how we connect to people, what we have to improve in ourselves, to understand where are the connections that align with us, and how to keep it. I am going through the same, not in NY ahahaha but keep doing things that gives you the feeling of comfort while things are hard.
What a bittersweet reflection. The journey of finding your tribe/community is just that, a journey. I appreciate you sharing this moment with us, and I hope that as you learn yourself more your journey to finding community becomes a little easier and more clear of who is and isn’t for you. *hugs*
Thank you for sharing this and for your openness and honesty, it's so powerful. Living in NY can really be overwhelming, wishing you the best as you continue on and plug into communities that feel like a good fit. Appreciate what you shared as I reflect on friendship and balancing recognizing difficult feelings while keeping perspective and trying to move forward. Hello from the Bronx!
I think you are experiencing alot of things many of us are dealing with. So you are not alone. It's hard being on your own and as someone who is also very independent I think we often have higher expectations of ourselves than we would of our friends. Focus on what's great about your life and keep yourself open to experiences that can lead to the friendships that you want. Hugs.
I just recently found your channel but I’m praying for God to send the right people in your life that are genuinely on your same wavelength. Thanks for being transparent and sharing 🙏🏾
Oh, hun. Thank you for showing your inner strength [in sharing what is squeezing the tears out of your eyes]. I stumbled up on your YT the day you moved flats and I followed you because you came across as ‘real’ and genuine. You are a breath of fresh air on YT and I actively look out for your videos. Each video that you make I can see more and more strength building up in you and admitting that you’re struggle is a hurdle that you’ve just crossed. Your new friends will find you. Continue being fabulous ‘you’. I may be across the pond but I’m here for you so reach out if you ever need a giggle and cheering up. It wouldn’t ‘til I left London that I realised how lonely I had been, so I understand what you are going through. You have strength and sometimes we need to release the tears…..or we bloat! xx
Hi Elizabeth! I appreciate you for writing this. It makes me happy to hear you enjoy my videos, and I’m glad I can be some sort of light to your day to day. I’m working on getting through this tough time, knowing that it is only temporary ❤ & I love London! I have to visit again soon!
I live with mental heath issues and just lost my last family member which is making my natural everyday struggles worse. So I feel u. I’ve programmed a pop up telling me a positive quote everyday and then repeat it for a couple mins throughout the day helps sometimes. Wish u the best. ❤
Thank you for sharing your vulnerability with us 💕 I have definitely went through the same thing when I moved away from my hometown so I relate to this 100%!! Sending you love 🫶🏾
Remember it's okay to not be okay! Take time for yourself and give yourself grace! Social media has definitely caused our society to isolate which can sometimes be challenging for us. But stay true to yourself
I love your honesty, it’s refreshing to see in this space ❤ Finding your tribe as an adult is something I wish more people talked about. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way and I hope you find your circle soon!
Me at almost 25. Just got out of a breakup of 2 years, really got dependent on him but realize I really would love a platonic group of people in my life I can share this chapter in my life and just want to meet my girls :( I’ve always been this way and never had friends so just feeling hopeless and that I naturally will be alone forever, you’d think being alone this long I’d get used to it but I always wish I had that group of friends. This video did help so thank you, you’re not alone and if I were living in NY I’d love to be your friend!
Hey girl i’m 25 & feel the same way. i always compare myself to other women with big groups of girlfriends & wonder where i went wrong. you are not alone xx
Thank you for sharing with us. It takes so much courage give yourself a pat on back. I don’t think I could do this.😢 people need people. I was already feeling lonely before 2020 but that just put a big dent in people’s lives and then some. We need to find just the right people, group, community or what have you. Keep believing and reaching out. Sending hugs and more hugs. I wish I was there to hug you in person.😊
Girllll, come to NJ! Me and my fam just moved here from Philly and I can totally relate to your post. Existing friendships are becoming one sided. Me and my daughters all need to find community to build on our friendships. You seem so cool! ❤
Thank you for posting this vlog. I can really relate to it since I have been searching for a long time to find people who share my interests and with whom I can form a deeper connection.
I feel for you. I am from New York Brooklyn to be exact. You’re in a totally different. Social media stay off of it. You’re gonna be alone in New York. You’re adjusting I’m an empath also is very difficult. New Yorkers basically kind of themselves because it’s such a fast pace environment, but also very harsh. Understand your struggle. I moved the opposite from a large city to a small town and I am struggling and adjusting to my new normal. It takes a while to know your surroundings in New York very big city. As a former New Yorker, my heart goes out to you.
This is such a good reality check for people like me in a small town in a small country who dreams of living in NYC... I'm too old now, have a career, a home and a life here but I still have a small dream to live in NYC because of all of the NYC videos and how they make it look so amazing!!! I hope you find peace and happiness... I left Vancouver and returned home to my small country and I am at least at peace coming home... a little bored...but at least at peace... I hope the same for you.
I definitely am in the exact same position you are. I have come to the realization that if open, the Lord will send you your community, as well. Sometimes being alone is God's way of getting your attention, too! I receive therapy, so I'm learning more and more about myself, because if you don't you will always feel this way. Prayers for you Sis! 🙏🏾💜
Jah & Jahes love sista. I was born and raised in Brooklyn and my parents were immigrants from Ayiti. I spent almost half of my life outside of the City and State travelling to other countries and states to find myself and my purpose. And, I found out recently, that I can't escape my purpose in New York City. And, despite all of the noise and business, NYC can get lonely. I'm sorry that you're going through heartache and pain right now. I'm sending you positive vibes so you can feel more aligned and supported. I hope and pray that one of your siblings visits soon so you can have someone to be with all of the time for a while. Blessed love.#1804#Ayiti
Your words resonate with me 100% almost brought me to tears, as I too struggle with loneliness and connecting with people on a deeper level. I crave real friendships or a small ‘soul tribe’ to bond with. I thank you for sharing and for being vulnerable, you definitely are not alone. I was born and raised in NY and now live nearby in NJ. I would love to connect with you. If you’re interested, please let me know. Sending you love and healing energy ❤
GIRL I see you! I feels you! Sis you will rise! Stay with the Lordt and you'll see brighter days. Sending hugs your wayyyy bc this hits on so many levels. Stay strong!
Aw I’m sorry you’re feeling this way but I completely understand you! It is overwhelming and can be very lonely! As other commenters suggested maybe try joining different groups or volunteering somewhere. I trust you’ll find your people here in NY!!
Relatable , moved from east to west coast (LV) and it’s been 4 years going on 5 and I’ve met TONS of people but none of them are worthy enough to even be called a friend. None of my immediate family or “close”friends back home have come to visit me either. It feels like I’m starting completely over in life and getting closer to God. It’s been challenging but grateful for the Devine opening my eyes to see that nobody really cared before or was down before so now that I know the TRUTH about others or many I can move freely. We got this, keep moving, & trust the process 💪🏽
Wow @NK! So vulnerable and very much needed information. I find it incredibly brave of you to post this video and share the real REAL. I think we would be shocked to find out how many of us are struggeling with this. Sometimes I wish there was a way to like have a sign on my back or our backs that read "looking for new friends, walk up to me and introduce yourself", god if only it were that easy. I think we go to the workout classes in hopes of making new friends to only find that everyone brought a plus one and it's so hard nowadays to just go up to someone and say lets go grab coffee or lets do this, without people assuming there is another motive or intention behind it. The fact that so many people are struggeling with this in society, you'd think someone had come up w a find my tribe app or something? All I can say is, be authentic, sometimes someone else is waiting for the other person to walk up to them to ask them to go grab coffee. I know how you are feeling bc based off the comments, a lot of us have been there or continue to feel this way. The thing is this will not always be the case, in the mean time keep doing things you love, open your heart to people, and keep your head up. You've got your best days ahead of you. Thanks for keeping 100 on here and sharing this, it can definitely feel like a lonely space but you will find your tribe and people. 😊
Very real. That's what I'm worried about with moving there. But the things is, I feel the same way here in the comfort of my hometown. I've never been good at making deep level friendships either. And then the friends i do stay in contact with go from semi-close to insta-stories distant. Hoping we both find our people soon.
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As someone who is struggling with the same, I’m proud of you for posting this video. I struggle with hyper independence, perfectionism as well as anxiety and depression (both recently diagnosed). I don’t know how to explain how much this video helped me to see that there are others who “have a good life”, but mask it well. Being the friend who maintains my relationships with others leads me to not celebrate myself as I should…and it is HARD.
I’m scared to make new friends based on how others treated me…and it’s lonely and exhausting. You’re a beautiful soul, and if I was in New York, I’d definitely reach out. ❤❤
Hi Tisha, I appreciate this comment so much! It’s very comforting to hear other’s experiences and thank you for being so real with me. By sharing this video, I wanted to break down that “facade” that everything is amazing all the time, because that’s just not true. I strive to keep it as real as possible on my channel, to share life as it is, and hope it helps someone else
@@nk.medani ❤❤
Same here!😊
@@nk.medani thank YOU for being you. Continue to be the light ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I know the feeling.
I’m a 27 year old black women living in Florida with no family or friends. I spend 80-90% alone. You literally described all
Of my feelings. I want more for myself …I’m so driven and ambitious but battle with loneliness, anxiety , and been emotional lately. It’s been rough for me to privately. Thank you for being vulnerable
So glad this resonated! Hope you subscribe for future videos 💗
I’m in Florida too and I feel alone. I feel my social skills depleting sometimes too!!! 😂
This was me when I moved to Orlando in 2017… I’m not the most social person so it don’t bother not knowing people but I felt so awkward going to theme parks and doing activities by myself but I enjoyed a Facebook group (my black Orlando ) and I just started meeting people there. You might wanna check your area to see if you have things like this … they have groups like black millennials *insert city* etc… hang in there ❤
girl you're not alone! its hard to make friends nowadays . even with putting yourself out there and joining activities that doesnt even guarantee that you'll form a close bond with someone. i blame social media honestly. when you go outside most people don't interact with one another. everyone is glued to their phones. even small talk is considered "weird". my motto is to just not force anything and friendships/relationships happen when you least expect it. as a native new yorker, nyc is also not the most friendliest city. so that also makes it difficult as well.
That's very true! I remember there was a time in my life when I was DESPERATE for friendship. I remember I even enrolled in a course just so I could be around people purely for the purpose of making friends and I was sooo dissapointed when I never met any good friends there. I had a lot of hope that I would at least click with one person but I never did. Sure, I did talk to some people but those people were purely acquaintances and not people I had anything in common with. The fact that I even put myself out there for me to get massively dissapointed lmao it was such a let down, but that goes to show that you cannot force friendships. It will arrive when it needs to. 🥲
so true
I speak to most people 😂😂😂. I noticed that literally making someone talk to you brightens their light. Ik it’s annoying but idc, my mission is to spread kindness❤. It’s working for me. My sons say to me: “Mom, you know everyone and they like you!”😂😂😂(of course I don’t know everyone nor do they like me).
Boom.
In the 90s when I was a youngster, we didn’t have cell phones nor social media like now, so we still was intune to one another and still loved seeing each other and being engaged with one another. I hate that people think small talk is weird now…how else do you get to know someone at the start??
Seven years ago, I stopped all social media and I stopped watching the news. A few years after that, I discontinued relationships that were not positive for me. After these interventions, I noticed that feelings of depression and anxiety improved SIGNIFICANTLY.
Do what you’ve gotta do, sis.
We love you and we support you ❤️
Thank you for this comment❤️
This is what I said but in a “nicer way” lol
@@YasminYoruba if you think that what you said is even remotely similar to this, then you're tone deaf.
this this this!
A timely comment for me to see. I'm on a social media/news diet, today.
I'm here, so I'm clearly watching some stuff, but it needs to be nourishing and authentic. Taking a break from extremes or things that simply don't serve me. Thank you for this comment!
And S/O to the creator of this video -- than you, too, beautiful -- so brave and awesome and many people understand. I hope this video is helping to spark the very kind of community you need, want and deserve!
This is more common than most people know and it's so hidden and camouflage! And because we don't show what you shared we find that we're lonely when actually loneliness is a community in itself! Most are just not bold enough honest enough or courageous enough to share it as you have.
That’s so true! I always believe in sharing to inspire others
I really feel for you! When I moved to NYC I did not have 1 friend. The only way I made friends was though work, church, and salsa dancing lessons. I know you don't physically go to a job so that makes things even more hard for you. Find some activities to do on a regular basis where you see the same people over and over. By doing that, hopefully you can get close to a couple people in a natural/ organic way. 💗💗💗
Good idea! I volunteer with some folks and I really like the work. I have to make a stronger effort to keep doing it.
Yes, I’m finding activities to fill my time & finding people that share my interests ❤
@@nk.medani Jah & Jahes love sista. Good for you. I have a Sun/Son who is about your age he was born in 1997, he's my firstborn and he wanted to move to Seattle, Washington when we were together about 13 years ago. I miss him dearly. Your most recent video touched me deeply and I thought about him. Please stay safe, and I pray that you find a good, healthy group of people to build community with. Blessed love.
This is good advice 💗!
@@nk.medaniI was about to say NYC is the easiest place to make friends I promise you. You just need to find hobbies and put yourself out there. I met friends in union square and had the time of my freaking life over & over again. From a native that moved to another state and dearly misses it.
Social media is fake AND AT THE SAME TIME EXHAUSTING!
I relate to this so much, and I think you should just take a break or something and enjoy life without it girl!
Social media is a huge part of my job and I do love it, so it’s not something I’m going to quit, but I’ve been taking steps back this week to re-center myself!
@@nk.medani there you go girl! Take a break and come back when you want to! We’ll be waiting.
@@nk.medaniif it’s fake and causing you poor mental health wouldn’t that be a thing to reconsider …
Many of struggle with loneliness and isolation. I am one of those people. I don't have social media to help,envious of those who do.i crave just one or two people to be in my life. I pray that you get what your looking for. I am sure you will find your people. You seem like a nice person. Hugs
Thank you for sharing your experience as well. & I believe it will get better for you!
Thank you for your vulnerability and honesty. You are not alone ❤
Thank you Liz ❤
Sounds like you are going thru your wilderness season. God is trying to pull you closer to him. ❤
Yeeeesssss
Amen
This!!! 🔥🔥🔥
Yes🙌
Excellent post! 👍
Girl you not alone! I moved to Florida at 40 years old to take a better job didn’t know ONE soul! Lean on your friends back home…I talk to mine DAILY….if you love NY stay in NY! I relate so much to
What part of Florida?
Agh this is so true. Even at 46, I struggle with feeling the same way at times despite having a child and husband! I often feel like I’m not doing enough to fulfill my potential outside of being a wife and mom. And even with adults, it’s hard to often navigate the world of friendships! So know you aren’t alone, and even at different phases of life, the same feelings can come up. Thank you for being so transparent and open. I think it’s healing to do that! ❤
🌹
I notice u didn't mention friends.
I understand and agree with you 100%. I moved from the South to New England a couple years ago, I am still trying to connect and fit in. I journal and have come to realize that no one has it together all the time and it is to cry and let it out. I admire you sharing and your honesty. ❤
Here are some suggestions as someone who moved from Cali to east coast… I’m originally from the east but lived in Cali for most of my life.
-try volunteering for fun events and museums. That’s how i built a network of friends
-say yes to most opportunities to socialize, even if you don’t really want to. Remember you can always stay for an hour and leave
-follow ig pages that talk about stuff to do in your city and post weekly events
-take small day trips on the weekends to other cities and towns nearby to change scenery. That’s easy in nyc
-as a west coaster, it’s easy to be overwhelmed by the fast pace and mannerisms of east coast people. Keep an open mind and don’t take things personally. Accept New Yorkers for who they are.
Thanks for the tips😊
I like that last part have an open mind an except NYers for who they are🙏
I am also from the East Coast and move the California and I am still pretty unhappy but I’m much better than I was the first years that I started becoming home sick, which wasn’t right away. I found the people in LA to be really indifferent and self-centered. On the East Coast people may be busy and fast paced but they care. What does help also, are the thoughts that we think as we’re going through anything. it’s called a voluntary stress versus involuntary stress. When we’re not making the choice about some thing, we can have a really negative thoughts enduring it.
@@TenTenJ Same been here now 20somethin years...now today I have God in my life. If it wasn't for my relationship with Jesus Christ...who knows. Get connected to Jesus Christ God Bless you 🙏
@@thetruth8280 I agree, it’s healthy to have a spiritual life.
I'm a lot older and have been fiercely independent as an adult. Recently, however, I lost both my siblings/ best friends, and for the first time, I am experiencing feelings of loneliness and melancholy. Hang in there. We're cheering for you.
I am older too and lost my sister a year ago…it’s the first time I ever felt lonely.
I don't feel bad for you and I think others don't too
Cos being fiercely independent comes with that
OMG! "All of my life experiences with wanting more for myself and elevating in my life has left me with being hyper-independent" This is exactly how i feel as a 21 year old living in nyc!! You're not alone girl, it truly is hard to find genuine people on the same wave as yourself, wanting more but also people to share that with along the way. I guess this is adulthood for some of us, but i know it will get better soon. Cheers to us
I feel what you're going through. I've been here for almost 37 years (born, raised & still here, and the only thing that helped me was cultivating a relationship with God. My love and peace to you. ❤️
Amen 🙏🏽
amen!!!
"God," aka an imaginary friend in your head. Whatever works, sis.
@@unabashed The objective evidence for god existing is amazing, nothing imaginary about him, he's very real.
@unabashed Why do you feel the need to say that? It's infantile. If you don't believe in God you have the liberty to do so, but to mock and ridicule others ( incorrectly I might add) who are giving honest feedback on how their faith helped them is cruel and cynical behaviour. It suggests you have a bitter heart.
Hi, I'm 56 years young lol and at times, I go thru the same thing. Your post popped up last week when I was looking up apartments in NYC and it did this morning. I have this desire to live in NYC if only for a year. I'm finding for myself although I too crave connection with others, I'm going it alone. I do understand everything will happen in Abba timing. Just keep doing what your doing, keep the faith, it will all work out dear.
I’m 52 and moving back to NYC. I’m scared but ready for the move. Best and Blessings. Do it!
We have to hook up sister. I am 57 and want to move to NyC as a nurse for only a year. Let’s chat soon. I am normally a loner. But I felt the need to reach out to you. I am in Texas now.
I love reading stories like yours. I see mostly 20 somethings sharing NYC content and it's somewhat entertaining but when a 32 year old has branded herself as "older" it leaves me wanting to see more mature people sharing about NYC or being new anywhere at 40, 50, 60 and beyond
@@NURSEGOGETTA58I just turn 58, born and raised in Brooklyn, NY no kids just me, I'm loner but I do get lonely for some sister friends, I'm looking to join some creative workshops, but it would be nice to have someone to hangout with. It's funny how you can feel so alone in this big city. Maybe we can all hook up one day🙂
One can feel alone in any city.
This is the truth. I have never been lucky with friendships so I’m learning to be alone. Just love myself and be closer to my family and most importantly God
I moved from California to Copenhagen . It has been a massive struggle. So far in 2.5 years I have made 2 genuine friendship and 1 friend had to move back to Tunisia. I felt a massive sigh of relief when I found my church. They are like a family to me here. It literally changed my mindset. I do want to go home but I know GOD will make a way for me ❤
Amen to that.
I understand how you feel. I've gone on the journey of self-improvement, and it hurts. But from what I've learned, the hurt is the shedding of old energies so that I can make room for new energies. Glad you are sharing in an authentic form. You will be ok. Growth is happening to you🙂 Your people will come.
yesss, finding your people is important. Because you made this change, you will definitely find them. Rooting for you!
I appreciate that, thank you!
Wow!…So courageous of you NK to open up and share 👏🏽👏🏽 I’ve moved a couple times within the last year and what has helped me connect to people is “volunteer work “ I’m currently volunteering for two organizations in my community. My local library and hospital. I really had no idea how much I needed this. I figured I was helping them, but no they helped me! lol. Also maybe you should call your family and take a trip to see them. So they can love and pour into. Sometimes the phone just isn’t enough…and maybe look into talking to a professional about your feelings and thoughts? Sorry for the long paragraph. I’ve been there before and all of these solutions have helped me. Maybe it can help you and others in the comment sections. Love and gratitude 🙏🏾
Thank you for sharing this❤ I am taking some trips to see my friends from home!
Made me cry…I can so relate
Happy you could relate ❤
It gets worse before it gets better. NY has a tendency to swallow you up, but in a place so huge, it just takes putting your foot on the gas in terms of connecting with others AFTER you’ve connected with yourself. Everyone is there to make it and genuine friendships can be scarce and temporary. When you least expect it, it’ll honestly fall right into your lap. Take advantage of the spaces you feel welcomed in, and refrain from setting expectations for what you desire out of new connections/relationships. True longlasting friendships will be with people who drift and float throughout ANY CATEGORY! I’m rooting for you! You got this boo. Cry it all out. Every tear is a step towards a revelation. ❤️❤️❤️
I can relate with you. However, I had to find my own tribe. I volunteered. I visited churches and attended Bible classes. I went to paint night classes alone, and met people. I participated in meet ups related to arts and sports. I enjoy golf. I found a group of women that enjoy golf. I joined local business chapters for entrepreneurs. I volunteered at the museum and at the animal welfare. It took me a while, but I have a group of friends that I can call within the same town. It’s not easy
Same here. I moved to a new city, about 3 to 4 hours away from immediate family and friends. I do have one uncle that's local, but that's my uncle. I volunteer and attend activities in my my community to meet people.
I can so relate I’m a Newyorker born and raised and I’ve always felt like I’ve never quite fit in I thought it was just me so it’s refreshing to know I’m not alone I know I’m truly introverted always have been but I think it’s because I fear rejection or not fitting into a certain status quo, but I have learned to be my own bestie & loving myself for me making my home more suitable for me helps a lot & newyorkers aren’t the friendliest so don’t stress it you will be fine just keep being & doing you because there are us that are watching 👍🏽🌞
I adore you for this video. You are not alone, I moved to Texas from California and I’ve felt the loneliness for so long I shop just to be around people I ask strangers for their opinion just to have a conversation. I never felt close to my family and I always wanted my own family like with my husband and children and so that didn’t last long. I’m 48 and don’t want to leave this world lonely.
You totally get it! There are many times I go to coffee shops just to be around others, even if I’m not interacting. It’s so interesting how life has shifted, but I know that I have to keep putting myself out there ❤
🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Videos like this truly are comforting to know that we are all feeling similar things ♥️ life is hard for us young people and we’re constantly gaslit to be grateful and be happy but these are real feelings ♥️
thank you megan for this comment - it means alot to hear this! alot of people think that this isnt something to bring up, but thats false. have an amazing day!
First off, I must say that I love you make such great and amazing content. I can relate to you in such a way because I've been living in NYC my whole life (born & raised) and even with being the oldest out of 8 siblings, I still feel out of place because I don't have a community of friends. I know it's a struggle for most of us and I can only truly pray that you find that great community because you are amazing, you are worthy, you are loved, and you deserve it. WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER WITH YOU❤🥰
I have a lot of siblings too! And thank you for this comment💗🤗
This video popped up when I was scrolling through other videos and I’m 40 and feel the exact same way. But please allow yourself some grace and take the time you need to “figure it all out”. I haven’t done even a portion of the things that you’re currently doing and have settled in this stuck mindset. I’ve accepted that my dreams and aspirations were never meant to be and have learned to force myself to be okay with it in my solitude as well as outside of it. On that note, I wish you the absolute best and absolute peace of mind and encourage to keep pushing forward even when it seems impossible 😊
I don’t live in NYC but I can totally appreciate your vulnerability. It’s not easily moving to a new city. You’re so brave. We only show the good stuff on social media and don’t really let people see the real us. It’s hard to break into already established friendship groups and so I can understand the frustration of always being the one to initiate contact. Have you connected with other influencers who have moved the NY themselves? They would also understand how you feel. Best of luck. Keep being yourself and keep trying. All it takes is meeting one person and that person can open you up to a new network. ❤
I'm praying for your strength and well being. God bless you sweetheart ❤
Thank you cheryl❤
You’re right social media is fake. I deleted all of mine I only have TH-cam. Cut off all the users in my life too. Don’t stress the people that are for you will come. The journey to self is way better than anything I’ve ever experienced. Once you let got of resistance and accept what is you’ll be fine. 🙏🏽💞
Girl, you're so strong 💪 ❤ NYC is the most difficult city to live in. I lived there for 13 years and I left. There are so much things are happening there behind the scene.
For you it is a great experience - surviving in NYC is like surviving an apocalypse. You should be proud of yourself ❤
Thank you for being open, vulnerable, and honest. 💖🦋💖
Thank you for watching 💗
Hey. I went through this too and it was God calling me. I started to pray and read my Bible daily. I think He’s calling you, He isolates His chosen ones.
I felt this was when I first moved on my own from California to Texas, where I knew now one. What helped me eventually, was I had gotten a dog and would make friends at the dog park. And then when I eventually had kids, it was finding people who also had kids their age or people
Who shared the same interests as me. Now that Im older I definitely choose my friends more carefully and would rather be alone than be with bad company. I hope you feel better, I enjoy your content and want you to know you are not alone in feeling this way.
Sending hugs your way, I admire your courage for putting this out there,so many people suffer in silence
having this platform empowers me to show up as authentically as possible, and its great to see people resonate with it!
Oh Honey, I get you! I have never fit in my entire life. Always celebrate yourself and if you have one true friend you will be blessed! xo
You will be fine! Hang in there! What you're feeling is temporary! You live in NYC. Trust me when I say you will meet all kinds of people! I don't know what you do for a living, but you start meeting people at work. I see you like working out. You will definitely meet people while you're working out! But it all takes time! As you get older, you won't even want to meet people anymore. You're going to be content with yourself! But for now, try to enjoy your time alone instead of trying to connect with people, connect with yourself. I wish I could live alone again! I WISH!
Facts ✌️
Why not propose her to go out sometimes ?people are selfish nowadays
Stop telling people it will be fine!! Let her have her experience.. We have to stop sugar coating issues.
Stay strong it is hard to make friends. Living in New York myself a lot of times people are horrible at reaching out and keeping friend connections. But NYC always have events and summer festivals where you can meet people.
yes i am looking foward to summer for sure!
I agree. I don't think new york is a friendly place.
When I stopped watching and reading all news around NYC I realized how different my reality is as opposed to what is portrayed on the news ! I feel so much better too
I hope things get better with you soon! Its actually such a common occurrence after making a big move like that, extrovert or not. Where I found like-minded people after my own similar move is through hobbies and shared interests. Joining consistent community classes whether that's in painting or crafts etc etc, book clubs, and through those activities you may be able to meet more likeminded people and their friends, this is assuming you haven't done this already! But ultimately there is definitely a light at the end of the tunnel whichever way you chose to go.
Thank you! Yes I know a lot of this stems from the move & still need to process those feelings
I feel this deeply since I also moved to NY 6 months ago by myself and don't know anyone. Other than talking with coworker friends, it sometimes feel like I'm missing out on building memories and deeper bonds with friends and a community. I do a lot of deep self work but sometimes wish I had close tribe to confide in while living here. But watching other women like you living independently and powering through feels so empowering and not as lonely in my experience ❤
Thank you for taking time to share this! Wishing you the best with finding your people here💗
Hang in there the greatest moments are ahead of you! These moments are always the hardest when transitioning into one chapter of life to another!
I moved to Miami for 3 years and felt this way, but it allowed me to heal and grow. THEN I moved back to my home state and felt even MORE lonely since I’m from here and have no community. It’s beautiful to grow but it can be a lonely journey. Peace to you. We will find our tribe 🥰
I felt this same way when I was living in New York. Similar situation with close friends living in other states. My work and college friends while I was there however slowly became my NYC tribe. It will take some time but it will happen naturally. Thank you for sharing because this is very real and your are not alone in this experience!
Don’t give up on yourself. I’m moving to new Rochelle next month. Your content gives me hope
Are you from NY? New Rochelle is pretty nice, I grew up in the surrounding area on the sound. I hope you like it. There are a lot of nice places to go. There's a really good pizza shop on Main St. (Fratelli's) And you will be close to Glen Island park. And you will be close to City Island. Let me know if you have any questions, I would be glad to help if I can. 😊
thank you for sharing this and for being so vulnerable. this is definitely a feeling i can relate to and something i think about a lot, so you’re definitely not alone in it 🥺🫶🏻
Thank you for watching! Reaching all these comments from this video, it shows that a lot of ppl are feeling the same way, and for me, that is worth the video upload ❤
I am a native of NYC, and I know how it can be lonely despite a large population. My advice to you is not to focus on meeting "friends" because when you prioritize making friends, you can attract toxic people because you are valuing friendship for the sake of having "friends." I used to value having friends and began accepting anyone who would want to be my friend in my life, and they always were toxic people (although it wasn't apparent at first). I ended up being unhappy in these "friendships", as most times I ended up being used by these people, and many treated me disrespectfully. My desperation to have friends was really what caused me to be in that predicament. I know this sounds cliche, by you should focus on attending events or engaging in activities that meet your interests (which in itself will make you happy) and keep up with your real friends by meeting up with them periodically. If you always wanted to do a hobby or pursue a dream (dancing, art,etc.), participate in activities toward your dream or hobby. You will inevitably meet people who are as passionate as you and you'll eventually develop REAL, solid friendships. "Friendships" can be overrated because most people who YOU believe are your friends, you later will learn are acquaintances and don't value your "friendship" (rather don't value your person) the way that you value them. Those people who YOU have to initiate contact with don't value you, and they don't deserve your friendship or your time.
I felt every bit of what you are experiencing! Been trying to find my "tribe" for quite some time. I recently retired and now find myself lost alone and depressed daily. Working only got me out of the house but did not provide me with any connections or joy. Same with my church. People say call me, let's get together etc. but when the time comes they flake or you require more than what they are capable of giving. I have so much bottled inside but don't want to write a long story. I'll end with I'm praying for your continued strength and that things will get better for you.❤
I’m glad this resonated with you 💗 thanks for sharing your story!
I can totally relate to this video. Moving to China all the way from Jamaica has me feeling like this at times. I've had my silent battles and those days are so hard when you have to pull yourself together because you have responsibilities. I'm also someone who feeds off energy and it does make me isolate at times. I've realized that I just have to ride the waves when this happens.
Oh honey! I moved to a new city and it is a struggle to find your people. Thank you for sharing.
thank you for watching!
It such an hard time for lot of us. I feel you! Keep strong and yes the right people are just waiting for you! Sending love!
I’m a Native New Yorker and I’m a 59 yr old only child. I relate to you thoroughly when you say you’re hyper independent. Trust me when I say it takes a lifetime to find true & supportive lasting friendships but be patient my love you are a beautiful soul, and you deserve to have an equal amount of beautiful souls around you to share your world of interest, happiness and success.❤
I lived in nyc last year and felt EXACTLY the same way!! Very discouraging to feel you don’t have the level of friendship that you need/want, especially when you see others that do have that. I hope that you’re able to find the support you need soon!! ❤️❤️
here is what i was told that kind of stuck with me...if you want a community to lean on be the person other's can lean on. if you want to find deep friendships with kindred spirits, volunteer somewhere you feel passionate about and you will find others on your wavelength...when you take the focus off yourself and help others, your world will open up!!!! you might have done all these things so i'm not saying you don't know this but just relating advice that helped me a lot.
It's ok, im happy for you and others like you. I see a bright future for you guys full of cats and dogs. So brave!!❤
Hang in there! Moved to Florida with family and was super depressed at first. But had to find my rhythm and gym, and life is better 3 years later. Will always miss and love Baltimore!
Whew! This is too relatable. Always being the person reaching out. Try meet up groups.
The virtual world seems so mask like. You, like everyone, need genuine connections. Sending you strength and peace.
Good morning! I just came across your channel, and I want to send you positive vibes because you got this!!! I’m a 60 year old retired single woman and my 2 children are grown; I feel that way sometimes, and I talked to God and I ask him to give me the strength and encourage to go on. It’s going to get better; just wait and see!!!🙏🏽❤️
Hi Lynnette! I appreciate this comment, thank you!!❤
I clearly understand what you are going through. That is why I reached out to you a couple of weeks ago in 1 of your TH-cam Short videos. I truly understand too. Remember, I too am a New York City resident. As I was telling you (you can always lean on me). Thank you for being so honest in this video. I really appreciate you showing your true self in this TH-cam video upload of yours.
I feel you baby girl! The literal PAIN in my chest that this deep loneliness gives me... it's unbearable. But just know, the pain will past. I'm also in my period of deep loneliness (haven't talked to anyone for almost four months and spend 99% of my time alone, working from home, in a new city where I know NO ONE) Ugh, it's soooo hard, but I know one day, we're going to look back at this period of our lives and be so proud and so glad we didn't give up. THIS TOO SHALL PASS✨ Sending you so much love, from a fellow girlie in her late 20s.
I'm so happy you shared this. Just know you're not alone in your journey... I've HIDDEN this same situation for many years. Your Breavery gives me MORE INSPIRATION than I can express. THANK YOU...Sending YOU Love, Light and POSITIVE VIBES ...💛🙏🏾💚🙌🏾🫶🏾❤️
Thank you Ann, that means a lot ❤
Stay strong! It takes time to understand how we connect to people, what we have to improve in ourselves, to understand where are the connections that align with us, and how to keep it.
I am going through the same, not in NY ahahaha but keep doing things that gives you the feeling of comfort while things are hard.
What a bittersweet reflection. The journey of finding your tribe/community is just that, a journey. I appreciate you sharing this moment with us, and I hope that as you learn yourself more your journey to finding community becomes a little easier and more clear of who is and isn’t for you. *hugs*
Thank you 💗
Thank you for sharing this and for your openness and honesty, it's so powerful. Living in NY can really be overwhelming, wishing you the best as you continue on and plug into communities that feel like a good fit. Appreciate what you shared as I reflect on friendship and balancing recognizing difficult feelings while keeping perspective and trying to move forward. Hello from the Bronx!
Community is so crucial. I moved back to my hometown in January now my friends and family have barbecue every Sunday.
I think you are experiencing alot of things many of us are dealing with. So you are not alone. It's hard being on your own and as someone who is also very independent I think we often have higher expectations of ourselves than we would of our friends. Focus on what's great about your life and keep yourself open to experiences that can lead to the friendships that you want. Hugs.
Awww, sending you a virtual hug ❤
I hope you are able to find and cultivate the community you need in NYC.
I just recently found your channel but I’m praying for God to send the right people in your life that are genuinely on your same wavelength. Thanks for being transparent and sharing 🙏🏾
Oh, hun. Thank you for showing your inner strength [in sharing what is squeezing the tears out of your eyes]. I stumbled up on your YT the day you moved flats and I followed you because you came across as ‘real’ and genuine. You are a breath of fresh air on YT and I actively look out for your videos. Each video that you make I can see more and more strength building up in you and admitting that you’re struggle is a hurdle that you’ve just crossed. Your new friends will find you. Continue being fabulous ‘you’. I may be across the pond but I’m here for you so reach out if you ever need a giggle and cheering up. It wouldn’t ‘til I left London that I realised how lonely I had been, so I understand what you are going through. You have strength and sometimes we need to release the tears…..or we bloat! xx
Hi Elizabeth! I appreciate you for writing this. It makes me happy to hear you enjoy my videos, and I’m glad I can be some sort of light to your day to day. I’m working on getting through this tough time, knowing that it is only temporary ❤ & I love London! I have to visit again soon!
@@nk.medani Wel, you have a tour guide/pal when you visit. When you feel down, just do another chat with us friends and we'll help you feel better. x
I live with mental heath issues and just lost my last family member which is making my natural everyday struggles worse. So I feel u. I’ve programmed a pop up telling me a positive quote everyday and then repeat it for a couple mins throughout the day helps sometimes. Wish u the best. ❤
Thank you for sharing your vulnerability with us 💕 I have definitely went through the same thing when I moved away from my hometown so I relate to this 100%!! Sending you love 🫶🏾
Thank you for leaving this comment 💗
Thank you sharing 🙏🏾. I have been feeling this way for a while and through I was weak if I vocalised my feelings.
I’m glad this resonated💗
Remember it's okay to not be okay! Take time for yourself and give yourself grace! Social media has definitely caused our society to isolate which can sometimes be challenging for us. But stay true to yourself
I totally agree! There’s a good and bad side of social media. Learning how to live in the middle!
I love your honesty, it’s refreshing to see in this space ❤ Finding your tribe as an adult is something I wish more people talked about. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way and I hope you find your circle soon!
Me at almost 25. Just got out of a breakup of 2 years, really got dependent on him but realize I really would love a platonic group of people in my life I can share this chapter in my life and just want to meet my girls :( I’ve always been this way and never had friends so just feeling hopeless and that I naturally will be alone forever, you’d think being alone this long I’d get used to it but I always wish I had that group of friends. This video did help so thank you, you’re not alone and if I were living in NY I’d love to be your friend!
Hey girl i’m 25 & feel the same way. i always compare myself to other women with big groups of girlfriends & wonder where i went wrong. you are not alone xx
Thank you for sharing with us. It takes so much courage give yourself a pat on back. I don’t think I could do this.😢 people need people. I was already feeling lonely before 2020 but that just put a big dent in people’s lives and then some. We need to find just the right people, group, community or what have you. Keep believing and reaching out. Sending hugs and more hugs. I wish I was there to hug you in person.😊
Girllll, come to NJ! Me and my fam just moved here from Philly and I can totally relate to your post. Existing friendships are becoming one sided. Me and my daughters all need to find community to build on our friendships. You seem so cool! ❤
I'm in Jersey too! 14 years here after living in CA and I am still slowly building my tribe. NJ is easier though... come to NJ!!!
Stay strong Black Queen, and trust in God have faith and all will be fine ❤😊 Much love from the UK 🇬🇧
Thank you for posting this vlog. I can really relate to it since I have been searching for a long time to find people who share my interests and with whom I can form a deeper connection.
The transparency is exactly what I needed right now
Glad to hear💗
I completely understand. Hang in there. The new part is just around the corner.
I feel for you. I am from New York Brooklyn to be exact. You’re in a totally different. Social media stay off of it. You’re gonna be alone in New York. You’re adjusting I’m an empath also is very difficult. New Yorkers basically kind of themselves because it’s such a fast pace environment, but also very harsh. Understand your struggle. I moved the opposite from a large city to a small town and I am struggling and adjusting to my new normal. It takes a while to know your surroundings in New York very big city. As a former New Yorker, my heart goes out to you.
This is such a good reality check for people like me in a small town in a small country who dreams of living in NYC... I'm too old now, have a career, a home and a life here but I still have a small dream to live in NYC because of all of the NYC videos and how they make it look so amazing!!! I hope you find peace and happiness... I left Vancouver and returned home to my small country and I am at least at peace coming home... a little bored...but at least at peace... I hope the same for you.
NYC is amazing but watch actual news stories, you’ll
See how gritty and harsh it is most of the time.
I definitely am in the exact same position you are. I have come to the realization that if open, the Lord will send you your community, as well. Sometimes being alone is God's way of getting your attention, too! I receive therapy, so I'm learning more and more about myself, because if you don't you will always feel this way. Prayers for you Sis! 🙏🏾💜
Jah & Jahes love sista. I was born and raised in Brooklyn and my parents were immigrants from Ayiti. I spent almost half of my life outside of the City and State travelling to other countries and states to find myself and my purpose. And, I found out recently, that I can't escape my purpose in New York City. And, despite all of the noise and business, NYC can get lonely. I'm sorry that you're going through heartache and pain right now. I'm sending you positive vibes so you can feel more aligned and supported. I hope and pray that one of your siblings visits soon so you can have someone to be with all of the time for a while. Blessed love.#1804#Ayiti
Your words resonate with me 100% almost brought me to tears, as I too struggle with loneliness and connecting with people on a deeper level. I crave real friendships or a small ‘soul tribe’ to bond with. I thank you for sharing and for being vulnerable, you definitely are not alone. I was born and raised in NY and now live nearby in NJ. I would love to connect with you. If you’re interested, please let me know. Sending you love and healing energy ❤
thank you for taking the time to comment, it means alot!
GIRL I see you! I feels you! Sis you will rise! Stay with the Lordt and you'll see brighter days. Sending hugs your wayyyy bc this hits on so many levels. Stay strong!
Girllll, you're lucky you don't have a kid to add to it. Enjoy your time alone. Everything has a season to it. Good luck in everything you do 💚💚🙏🏾🙏🏾
Aw I’m sorry you’re feeling this way but I completely understand you! It is overwhelming and can be very lonely! As other commenters suggested maybe try joining different groups or volunteering somewhere. I trust you’ll find your people here in NY!!
I am struggling with this also. I put to much pressure on myself. I am learning to let go of things that hinder me. Getting out of my way!!!
I'm not in New York City but I'm going through it as well. It's hard not to feel lonely. Keep your head up. You seem very smart.
Relatable , moved from east to west coast (LV) and it’s been 4 years going on 5 and I’ve met TONS of people but none of them are worthy enough to even be called a friend. None of my immediate family or “close”friends back home have come to visit me either. It feels like I’m starting completely over in life and getting closer to God. It’s been challenging but grateful for the Devine opening my eyes to see that nobody really cared before or was down before so now that I know the TRUTH about others or many I can move freely. We got this, keep moving, & trust the process 💪🏽
Thanks for sharing your experience Jalen!! 😌
Wow @NK! So vulnerable and very much needed information. I find it incredibly brave of you to post this video and share the real REAL. I think we would be shocked to find out how many of us are struggeling with this. Sometimes I wish there was a way to like have a sign on my back or our backs that read "looking for new friends, walk up to me and introduce yourself", god if only it were that easy. I think we go to the workout classes in hopes of making new friends to only find that everyone brought a plus one and it's so hard nowadays to just go up to someone and say lets go grab coffee or lets do this, without people assuming there is another motive or intention behind it. The fact that so many people are struggeling with this in society, you'd think someone had come up w a find my tribe app or something? All I can say is, be authentic, sometimes someone else is waiting for the other person to walk up to them to ask them to go grab coffee. I know how you are feeling bc based off the comments, a lot of us have been there or continue to feel this way. The thing is this will not always be the case, in the mean time keep doing things you love, open your heart to people, and keep your head up. You've got your best days ahead of you. Thanks for keeping 100 on here and sharing this, it can definitely feel like a lonely space but you will find your tribe and people. 😊
I felt this! thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing it with us
thank you for watching terry!
Very real. That's what I'm worried about with moving there. But the things is, I feel the same way here in the comfort of my hometown. I've never been good at making deep level friendships either. And then the friends i do stay in contact with go from semi-close to insta-stories distant. Hoping we both find our people soon.