Rory's arc of 'golden child of the small town cracks when they leave for a bigger pond and find they are a small fish' is such a realistic story, frankly
This !! Her mother coddled and uplifted her so much that she couldn’t handle dealing with the real world and competing with people who didn’t half of what she had and made them work harder
Lorelai naming Rory after herself also supports your argument that she views Rory as an extension of herself. She loves Rory, but she doesn't love that she had to grow up after getting pregnant, so Rory was like a do-over for her. Hence, the living vicariously through her part.
The problem with Lorelai is that she always made Rory feel that she was superior to others so her going to Yale made her realize she was not that special. You should uplift your kids, but you should also be realistic with them and Lorelai wasn't she really believed that Rory was better than everyone and could do no wrong
So i agree about lorelai however it wasn’t just her mom it was everyone around stars hollow and her grandparents who were constantly telling Rory she could do no wrong
Lorelai's ability to always make Rory right even when she was wrong is the reason why Rory started rebelling at an older age, like her sleeping with Dean, she didn't think Lorelai would have a problem with her behavior because she didn't any other time and everyone else was wrong so what was different this time? I remember going to college with girls like Rory who while nice, felt like the praise they got in school for being #1 and being the star student would be the same in college and that the professors would favor them and it was the complete opposite and they struggled alot, even dropping out.
And the times that Rory was right, like with Dean and the termites, Lorelai convinces her she was in the wrong. For instance it’s completely normal and ok for a teen girl to feel uncomfortable with a declaration of love and not having the ability to articulate that discomfort the moment her boyfriend is literally pressuring her. Lorelai is like “this is how you treat him?” It’s not hard to see where her dating issue began. And this happened a lot. Dean was insecure and possessive and actually not the greatest boyfriend but Lorelai often urged Rory to over look that bc “he’s actually sweet.” Then when she overlooks he has a whole wife, “how could you overlook this!” Lorelai makes the point that she’s not responsible for Rory cheating and that fair enough but she says “so I set one bad example” no girl you set many bad examples
@@lauriecarson6483 It's not that deep yet you're on everyone's comment harassing them because they don't like certain characteristics of a character, making your own opinions as well, typical o x y m 0 r o n. go grab some fresh air and soak up the sun and get a friend doll it works wonders for l0n e ly people with parasocial relationships
@@lauriecarson6483are you aware people talk about tv show theories for fun? Like say, Lorelai and Rory in a reference joke literally every episode? Usually when someone says “it’s not that deep” they are 1. Media illiterate 2. Not deep themselves and incredibly boring. Imagine watching the walking dead or something with you. Everyone having a good time, talking about the show, and you come along to say every conversation “it’s not that deep” cool go away then?
@@Meanie74She’s saying that meanwhile in multiple peoples comment’s trying to convince people that their OPINIONS are wrong 🤦🏽♀️ so much that iconically had to check her. Shows are created for a reason and it’s for people to have open dialogue. people like her only like to hear opinions that please them and will argue with people about it as if someone forced her to watch this video, like you said cool go away lol
Lorelai obviously had to grow up as an adult because she became pregnant at 16. Mind you, Lorelai’s growth was stunted as well because of that, that’s why she talks to her like a best friend. Emily talks to Lorelai like a prissy sergeant would talk to a trainee. With Rory it was the extreme opposite, Lorelai didn’t set boundaries while Emily set far too many.
This reminds me in a way of my family: My parents were raised in households where the children were not allowed to show emotions that weren’t in the favour of the grown ups. My parents raised us with allowing us to have and express them but they never taught us how to process them in a healthy way. They freed themselves from the suppression but I think they didn’t learn how to handle emotions themselves when we were kids and I think they weren’t aware that this could cause problems. They just mainly knew how harmful it was to be raised by emotional dictators. Each generation might bring something different to the table but in most cases if you do the opposite of your parents parenting style you might miss out on something that was actually a good thing they did..
Had a classmate for years, who had to act grown up around others and do well in school, especially around her siblings, because both her parents were constantly working (upper middle class though). However, she was ultimately failed by the adult around her. Other parents and teachers wenr on to compliment her 24/7 with "you're so far for your age" "you're so much more mature than the others". She wasn't. She was a child and she still struggled with the same stuff as other children and teenager's, but handled these conflicts even worse than us, because she could not take any criticism, even if it was in the most helpful way. For example, I try to talk her out of having extremely aggressive outbursts towards other students. These outbursts were NEVER provoked - she said so herself. Sometimes she would randomly walk up to you and have the most manic attack - because she had a "bad day". I told her that I became uncomfortable around her because she bullied everyone who didn't wear the expensive vintage she wore or went partying. She lashed out at me and never got to handle her outbursts. This is one example of many others were she lost any feeling of basic human respect, because she was a former "golden child" who was "different" and "better than the others. She turned out to be the biggest hater of any woman whatsoever, especially me, because I was the one "breaking into her pond", where she had been the only "mature" one. I came into her school. I was confident, laid back, ignored unspoken hierarchies because I found them childish and she verbally attacked me everyday in the most outrageous ways. She even told me herself that she felt like her "place was in danger because of me". Anyway: teach your kids confidence by praising them for their individuality. Tell them they are good because they are actually good at something. Don't try to build up their whole confidence by the very thin ice bridge that symbolizes they are "more mature" or simply "a little bit better than others". The moment that changes (and it WILL change, because the world is HUGE and your child will meet so many different people) they lose everything they believed in - like rory.
Lorelai was so childish it was unbearable that tantrum she threw when Jess and Rory got in that accident was so enraging because she didn’t even care to ask if Jess was okay or believe Rory when she said it wasn’t his fault, she went storming into Luke’s restaurant and just unleashed onto him with her childish antics like always and then wants to make nice with him after all that she said as though he’s just supposed to forgive her. She rarely ever let Rory explore her independence which is why she had such a hard time navigating after she left for college
The same happened when she was stealing the boat... She automatically believed that she got in jail because of Logan and she didn't let her to explain otherwise.
Yooo omg the way she couldn't fathom Rory doing anything wrong made me dislike her more than Rory especially her putting her mugshot on the fridge. It was always some one elses fault until Rory decided to take a semester off at Yale and didn't do what she wanted only thennnn is she wrong lmao
@@lauriecarson6483 Emily ?😂😂 you just called me a fictional character because I have an opinion is your br a i n made up of mush and dust ? are you mad because someone has a different opinion than you. I SAID WHAT I SAID crunchy 😊 be blessed
@@Princessdollamanda that thing is a whole w3!rd0 she's on everyone's comments saying it's not that deep while proceeding to show it's that deep to herself lmaoooo you really can't make this up
She was just as classist as her parents it was just scaled back some, she just didn't like when people had more than her and had it all together because it made her feel insecure about herself and lmaoooooo not Gollum 😂😂😂😂 the laugh I let out lmao she really did treat her like that
Also Lorelei was controlling (not as bad as Emily, since she tried to rein it in a bit), but she had Rory under her thumb in town. Which is why you saw her freak out whenever that norm was challenged by Jess or her other failures later on.
Lorelai definitely parentified Rory at times and acted like a friend more than a mother, I think a lot of things contributed to the demise of Rory’s character including the environment she grew up in. Honestly lorelai and Rory’s relationship reminds me of a more tame version of Susan and Julie from desperate housewives
Lorelai cutting Rory off after she didn’t go back to Yale for some time off (that I think was much needed) will always make me so upset.The way she handled that was so childish and she was beyond selfish during that time when Rory needed her mother the most. If Rory didn’t do what she wanted she would shut down. I also think her going to her grandparents and breaking down like that showed how much Rory felt so overwhelmed and felt like her mother and Lorelai not supporting her made her feel even worse
Absolutely! I agree. The fact that she shut down on Rory and acted like a spoiled brat because Rory wanted to take a semester off was ridiculous. To not speak to your daughter for almost 6 MONTHS is asinine.
@@lauriecarson6483 Okay so first and foremost what I am not going to have is you making multiple comments harassing people because of a difference of opinion, no one is required to share the same mindset as you. You’re either an extremely young person or someone who has an unhealthy obsession with this show. Now I don’t mind you having an opinion because everyone is different and we all view things differently, but what I won’t tolerate is childish antics because you can’t fathom someone not having the same beliefs or ideology as you, if you continue to harass my subscribers you will be reported and blocked.
Lorelai always thought with parental motives but but acted with best friends actions. Wanting your child to not drop a semester is a normal parental sentiment. Throwing a tantrum and giving them the silent treatment is childish.
Basically she didn't let Rory grow where she was supposed to and then completely let go when it was time to control the situation with Rory dropping out and moving to her grandparents.
I saw the show for the first time as an adult years after it ended, so I feel like i missed the zeitgeist. I thought Lorelei was a loving mom, but an irresponsible one, and Rory was an entitled brat from season 1. But that's why i love the show. They are messy, but not stressfully loud. Gilmore Girls is to drama what Murder, She Wrote is to procedural crime.
Wow... a fair analysis of their relationship that isn't just "Lorelai is the best, Rory sucks and Emily is satan". I never thought I'd see it happen lol Edit: 11:20 I think another part of this is that Lorelai would have to admit to her own shortcomings and similarities to her parents. Lord knows how much she loves doing that
Lorelai was doing her best to not repeat the mistakes of her parents. That does not mean that she did not fail Rory as a mother, but even I can admit that Lorelai was just trying not to repeat the same mistakes her own parents made. Honestly, between the two flawed parenting styles, it seems like her parents had it more right than she did. They at least raised a girl who was capable of juggling full-time work and single motherhood. Rory is nowhere near as strong-willed or capable as Lorelai. Richard and Emily did a LOT wrong and it absolutely cannot be denied or excused, but Lorelai did worse in many ways. At least Emily and Richard's daughter doesn't crumble at the first sign of opposition, isn't a serial cheater, and has no felony record.
I’m gonna have to disagree that Lorelai would have had the guidance of her parents if she hadn’t left. I mean she would get inundated with ‘guidance’ but it wouldn’t have been good guidance. I think it would have stunted her growth similar to Rory but different mechanisms. Overbearing vs enabling.
This is actually a good point, I do think Lorelai needed some guidance from her parents as she was a teen parent, they would have some good input with raising Rory maybe not all the way, but she did need some of that. Lorelai’s growth was stunted period, as we see when it comes to her relationships and how she handles any conflict or people she feels are “going against her”. However, knowing Emily she would’ve tried to take over and not let Lorelai parent her daughter in any capacity.
Yeah, I think it was a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation for Lorelai. I also believe Lorelai must have been very depressed trying to raise Rory in her parents' house. Rory would not have thrived with a severely depressed mother, either. Lorelai and Rory are both realistic in a lot of ways, and I agree Lorelai made a lot of mistakes as a mom. But they're realistic mistakes. She did her best with all the flaws she had.
I'm not sure if they would have provided guidance(not the kind Lorelai would listen to, anyway). But I think the financial support would have been worth staying for. Richard wasn't a hands on father, so money would have been his only contribution. And Emily didn't seem like a baby loving grandma, so she would just be critical from the sidelines. She managed to be her own person for 16 years. I don't think 3 or 4 more years to get some kind of stable job would have killed her. I am not saying stay with them forever, just a few more years rather than live in a shed with a baby.
@@LB-gz3ke one of the most interesting/ out of touch/ funny character traits Lorelai has is that she’s so privileged she doesn’t have the self awareness to know refusing large sums of money is entirely from a place of privilege. Not a single working class person (the way Lorelai thinks she’s being with that choice) would say no to the amount of money being offered to her. But I can accept the running joke that her mom is such a pill she makes 50,000 dollars seem not worth one night a week of a gourmet meal and is actually a high price to pay. Also I think a more subtle joke is Lorelai being like “yall just don’t understand what being my mother’s daughter is like” and most other characters are right in their dismissive responses. Gurl it is you who doesn’t understand 😂
@@Meanie74 Yes, exactly. It's like when she and Sookie get the chance to cater for Emily when they absolutely needed the money. Poor Sookie was so frustrated with Lorelai. Girl, we are real broke and your mom is offering real money and you want to bitch because she expects to try the food first?
Havent seen the rest of the video but based on the comments mentioning Lorelai…im so glad that she gets called out cause omg on the other side of the fandom, god forbid she gets called out or toxic even. Like she was great too but that doesnt take away how a huge reason why rory turned out the way she did (not to take away most of the responsibility from rory too) is from lorelai. Neither are perfect, including Lorelai. But what makes her so lovable is that she does learn from her mistakes and that eventually influences on rory (in some parts at least lol)
This analysis is so good ✨️I enjoyed this show, but always wondered if it was a secretly a social commentary on what happens when people put someone in a pedestal 🤔
I’m currently on season 5 and I don’t want to watch the full video until I’m done but yes their relationship is very unhealthy. Lorelai never really parented Rory and she viewed her as a friend instead of her child. It’s funny how Lorelai would get mad at her parents for getting into her relationships but she did the same with Rory and Jess. She had such disgust towards him when really he’s just a troubled teen. She also didn’t see her privilege which is a big part of her fault as well.
I never watched Gilmore Girls but the more I see in all these recent recomended videos about these two, the more I see myself and my own emotionally stunted mother (in her case it was childhood abuse and not teen pregnancy), except for little differences like having been pretty wise from a very young age made me not become an NLOG as I believe every person has their value even if I dislike them or their lifestyles or the fact my mom has a sister who was the golden child and everyone expected me to grow up just like my mom. I've always loved my mother deeply, but you'll never catch me denying that I've wished for practically as long as I can remember, that my mom was more like a normal mom and that I've even cried myself to sleep over our dysfonctional relationship. I hate the, 'your mom is so cool, I wish mine was like her' comments I've gotten throughout life. Trust me, it looks fun but emotionally being an orphan whilst emotionally taking care of the person who should be caring for you can be hell sometimes.
Omg yes yes yes loved this! I love Gilmore Girls too it is definitely one of my comofrt shows but watching it back I really disagree with so many of Lorelais decisions! One of my biggest pet peeves is how she treats Chris like whenever she is arguing with him Rory has to be too. I know she said in some episodes she doesnt have to, but given their relationship I dont feel like Rory (especially when she was younger) felt like she would have a choice in that. And also when he wanted to spend Christmas with Rory and Lorelai iust didn't tell him?!??! I get that when we first meet him he isn't all that reliable but he gets his life together and makes a real effort to be consistent in Rorys life. He even said when Rory was born it felt like Lorelai wanted it to just be her and Rory. Also really bugged me when Rory didnt want to talk to her about cheating with Dean and Lorelai was like I wanted to talk as friends not mother and daughter, she is your daughter!!! I love this show but so many of the decisions don't sit right with me so I'm really glad you made this video! I feel like Gilmore Girls was set up as this great model for what mother daughter relationships should be when in actuality it was pretty harmful. It felt like Lorelai didn't want any outside influence on Rory which isn't healthy, a child needs lots of different influences to be grow up healthy and happy.
I feel like Rory taking a semester or even a year off from school shouldn't have been a big deal. When I was in my freshman and sophmore year, my mom was asking ME if I wanted to take some time off because I was stressed. I stuck it out because it was my choice and now I'm good. If Rory had taken time off she probably would've learned more if she had done some internship in a city or out of state or something. I think that if Rory got that time off, she could have realized that journalism wasn't her calling because she wasn't that great at it. She could've been a researcher or a writer and gotten through the whole situation a lot better. But Lorelai was completely against it for... What?
I’m glad my sister in law can be my sons friend because I would never be my kids friend. They need to respect me, and Rory is a good example why. She was way too mouthy for my taste even in her golden years.
4:18 that part is wild like I could never imagine my other acting like that, I'm not exaggerating when I say teenage me would just burst out crying. Call past me dramatic idc
I think Lorelai’s own lack of experiences didn’t help too as far as her own development. She didn’t feel or wasn’t equipped to prepare Rory for certain things as far as navigating life as her own woman especially the Yale situation which I guess is in a way a reflection of the hardship of parenting sometimes tho. Rory was supposed to be this mature smart girl who always figured it out “better” than Lorelei at times. Lorelei needed to step up as a mother there but got angry cause she was confronted with the fact that her “perfect” kid chose to do an imperfect thing in her eyes that she couldn’t deflect it coming from Rory cause Rory usually could do no wrong in her eyes. Im pretty sure if Lorelai would’ve handled that one moment better then Rory likely wouldn’t had continued to spiral the way she did.
Great video. On one of my favorite shows. I hated when they stopped speaking, it was so petty. And I could NOT stand Emily. She was unbearable. She’s the cause of a lot of this had she had a better relationship with her daughter.
You got a new subscriber :) love your video styling. Would love to see a video of the iconic Vanessa Williams her fashion, music, and film/TV retrospective (The movie Dance with Me introduced me to her).
Loreali is so territoral over rory and im convinced its why lore liked dean so much (in the beginning) Like deans fine, but he was putty. He didnt really influence rory in the way jess or logan did. And even Emily and richard, when they started to influence rory AT ALL, lore was livid.
When I watched this show as a middle schooler I kinda envied that Rory had a mom that’s like an older sister. I had Narcissist parents, cold and emotionally distant.
Rory's arc of 'golden child of the small town cracks when they leave for a bigger pond and find they are a small fish' is such a realistic story, frankly
This !! Her mother coddled and uplifted her so much that she couldn’t handle dealing with the real world and competing with people who didn’t half of what she had and made them work harder
Yeah, I was really surprised they went that route.
Lorelai naming Rory after herself also supports your argument that she views Rory as an extension of herself. She loves Rory, but she doesn't love that she had to grow up after getting pregnant, so Rory was like a do-over for her. Hence, the living vicariously through her part.
Richard and Emily also see Rory as a do over daughter. That girl was never allowed to be her own person
It was also a family name, Gram was 'Lorelei 1'
It was mainly because she’ was sitting in the hospital thinking about how men name
their sons after themselves so why couldn’t ‘
The problem with Lorelai is that she always made Rory feel that she was superior to others so her going to Yale made her realize she was not that special. You should uplift your kids, but you should also be realistic with them and Lorelai wasn't she really believed that Rory was better than everyone and could do no wrong
That's not true
@@lauriecarson6483 Girl get off of my comment and go play in some daisies lmao why are you on everyone's comment ? 😂😂😂😂😂😂
@@lauriecarson6483 How many times did she say "Rory is special"?
So i agree about lorelai however it wasn’t just her mom it was everyone around stars hollow and her grandparents who were constantly telling Rory she could do no wrong
Lorelai's ability to always make Rory right even when she was wrong is the reason why Rory started rebelling at an older age, like her sleeping with Dean, she didn't think Lorelai would have a problem with her behavior because she didn't any other time and everyone else was wrong so what was different this time? I remember going to college with girls like Rory who while nice, felt like the praise they got in school for being #1 and being the star student would be the same in college and that the professors would favor them and it was the complete opposite and they struggled alot, even dropping out.
And the times that Rory was right, like with Dean and the termites, Lorelai convinces her she was in the wrong. For instance it’s completely normal and ok for a teen girl to feel uncomfortable with a declaration of love and not having the ability to articulate that discomfort the moment her boyfriend is literally pressuring her. Lorelai is like “this is how you treat him?” It’s not hard to see where her dating issue began. And this happened a lot. Dean was insecure and possessive and actually not the greatest boyfriend but Lorelai often urged Rory to over look that bc “he’s actually sweet.” Then when she overlooks he has a whole wife, “how could you overlook this!”
Lorelai makes the point that she’s not responsible for Rory cheating and that fair enough but she says “so I set one bad example” no girl you set many bad examples
It's not that deep
@@lauriecarson6483 It's not that deep yet you're on everyone's comment harassing them because they don't like certain characteristics of a character, making your own opinions as well, typical o x y m 0 r o n. go grab some fresh air and soak up the sun and get a friend doll it works wonders for l0n e ly people with parasocial relationships
@@lauriecarson6483are you aware people talk about tv show theories for fun? Like say, Lorelai and Rory in a reference joke literally every episode? Usually when someone says “it’s not that deep” they are 1. Media illiterate 2. Not deep themselves and incredibly boring. Imagine watching the walking dead or something with you. Everyone having a good time, talking about the show, and you come along to say every conversation “it’s not that deep” cool go away then?
@@Meanie74She’s saying that meanwhile in multiple peoples comment’s trying to convince people that their OPINIONS are wrong 🤦🏽♀️ so much that iconically had to check her. Shows are created for a reason and it’s for people to have open dialogue. people like her only like to hear opinions that please them and will argue with people about it as if someone forced her to watch this video, like you said cool go away lol
Lorelai obviously had to grow up as an adult because she became pregnant at 16. Mind you, Lorelai’s growth was stunted as well because of that, that’s why she talks to her like a best friend. Emily talks to Lorelai like a prissy sergeant would talk to a trainee. With Rory it was the extreme opposite, Lorelai didn’t set boundaries while Emily set far too many.
This reminds me in a way of my family:
My parents were raised in households where the children were not allowed to show emotions that weren’t in the favour of the grown ups. My parents raised us with allowing us to have and express them but they never taught us how to process them in a healthy way. They freed themselves from the suppression but I think they didn’t learn how to handle emotions themselves when we were kids and I think they weren’t aware that this could cause problems. They just mainly knew how harmful it was to be raised by emotional dictators. Each generation might bring something different to the table but in most cases if you do the opposite of your parents parenting style you might miss out on something that was actually a good thing they did..
Had a classmate for years, who had to act grown up around others and do well in school, especially around her siblings, because both her parents were constantly working (upper middle class though). However, she was ultimately failed by the adult around her. Other parents and teachers wenr on to compliment her 24/7 with "you're so far for your age" "you're so much more mature than the others". She wasn't. She was a child and she still struggled with the same stuff as other children and teenager's, but handled these conflicts even worse than us, because she could not take any criticism, even if it was in the most helpful way. For example, I try to talk her out of having extremely aggressive outbursts towards other students. These outbursts were NEVER provoked - she said so herself. Sometimes she would randomly walk up to you and have the most manic attack - because she had a "bad day". I told her that I became uncomfortable around her because she bullied everyone who didn't wear the expensive vintage she wore or went partying. She lashed out at me and never got to handle her outbursts. This is one example of many others were she lost any feeling of basic human respect, because she was a former "golden child" who was "different" and "better than the others. She turned out to be the biggest hater of any woman whatsoever, especially me, because I was the one "breaking into her pond", where she had been the only "mature" one. I came into her school. I was confident, laid back, ignored unspoken hierarchies because I found them childish and she verbally attacked me everyday in the most outrageous ways. She even told me herself that she felt like her "place was in danger because of me". Anyway: teach your kids confidence by praising them for their individuality. Tell them they are good because they are actually good at something. Don't try to build up their whole confidence by the very thin ice bridge that symbolizes they are "more mature" or simply "a little bit better than others". The moment that changes (and it WILL change, because the world is HUGE and your child will meet so many different people) they lose everything they believed in - like rory.
Lorelai was so childish it was unbearable that tantrum she threw when Jess and Rory got in that accident was so enraging because she didn’t even care to ask if Jess was okay or believe Rory when she said it wasn’t his fault, she went storming into Luke’s restaurant and just unleashed onto him with her childish antics like always and then wants to make nice with him after all that she said as though he’s just supposed to forgive her. She rarely ever let Rory explore her independence which is why she had such a hard time navigating after she left for college
The same happened when she was stealing the boat... She automatically believed that she got in jail because of Logan and she didn't let her to explain otherwise.
Yooo omg the way she couldn't fathom Rory doing anything wrong made me dislike her more than Rory especially her putting her mugshot on the fridge. It was always some one elses fault until Rory decided to take a semester off at Yale and didn't do what she wanted only thennnn is she wrong lmao
Wow Emily calm down it's not that deep
@@lauriecarson6483 Emily ?😂😂 you just called me a fictional character because I have an opinion is your br a i n made up of mush and dust ? are you mad because someone has a different opinion than you. I SAID WHAT I SAID crunchy 😊 be blessed
@@Princessdollamanda that thing is a whole w3!rd0 she's on everyone's comments saying it's not that deep while proceeding to show it's that deep to herself lmaoooo you really can't make this up
She was just as classist as her parents it was just scaled back some, she just didn't like when people had more than her and had it all together because it made her feel insecure about herself and lmaoooooo not Gollum 😂😂😂😂 the laugh I let out lmao she really did treat her like that
Also Lorelei was controlling (not as bad as Emily, since she tried to rein it in a bit), but she had Rory under her thumb in town. Which is why you saw her freak out whenever that norm was challenged by Jess or her other failures later on.
I’ve never watched Gilmore Girls I love the fact that you’re doing a breakdown of this relationship 😩🫶🏾
It’s such a good show 🩷
Lorelai definitely parentified Rory at times and acted like a friend more than a mother, I think a lot of things contributed to the demise of Rory’s character including the environment she grew up in. Honestly lorelai and Rory’s relationship reminds me of a more tame version of Susan and Julie from desperate housewives
I don't see the problem all single mom do that.
Lorelai cutting Rory off after she didn’t go back to Yale for some
time off (that I think was much needed) will always make me so upset.The way she handled that was so childish and she was beyond selfish during that time when Rory needed her mother the most. If Rory didn’t do what she wanted she would shut down.
I also think her going to her grandparents and breaking down like that showed how much Rory felt so overwhelmed and felt like her mother and Lorelai not supporting her made her feel even worse
Absolutely! I agree. The fact that she shut down on Rory and acted like a spoiled brat because Rory wanted to take a semester off was ridiculous. To not speak to your daughter for almost 6 MONTHS is asinine.
Thru both did that not just Rory. And Loralai will be the first one to help Rory without hesitation.
@@lauriecarson6483 Okay so first and foremost what I am not going to have is you making multiple comments harassing people because of a difference of opinion, no one is required to share the same mindset as you. You’re either an extremely young person or someone who has an unhealthy obsession with this show. Now I don’t mind you having an opinion because everyone is different and we all view things differently, but what I won’t tolerate is childish antics because you can’t fathom someone not having the same beliefs or ideology as you, if you continue to harass my subscribers you will be reported and blocked.
@@lauriecarson6483 Girl find you some business lmao
Lorelai always thought with parental motives but but acted with best friends actions. Wanting your child to not drop a semester is a normal parental sentiment. Throwing a tantrum and giving them the silent treatment is childish.
When I saw Lorelai and Rory trash Jess’ car, I said yeah it’s time to pack it up…
Basically she didn't let Rory grow where she was supposed to and then completely let go when it was time to control the situation with Rory dropping out and moving to her grandparents.
She literally named her daughter after herself. She's always felt like she was a part of her. She hated when she showed traits that she didn't like.
I saw the show for the first time as an adult years after it ended, so I feel like i missed the zeitgeist. I thought Lorelei was a loving mom, but an irresponsible one, and Rory was an entitled brat from season 1. But that's why i love the show. They are messy, but not stressfully loud. Gilmore Girls is to drama what Murder, She Wrote is to procedural crime.
Wow... a fair analysis of their relationship that isn't just "Lorelai is the best, Rory sucks and Emily is satan". I never thought I'd see it happen lol
Edit: 11:20 I think another part of this is that Lorelai would have to admit to her own shortcomings and similarities to her parents. Lord knows how much she loves doing that
Most people don’t want to admit they’re like their parents though which is normal
Lorelai was doing her best to not repeat the mistakes of her parents. That does not mean that she did not fail Rory as a mother, but even I can admit that Lorelai was just trying not to repeat the same mistakes her own parents made. Honestly, between the two flawed parenting styles, it seems like her parents had it more right than she did. They at least raised a girl who was capable of juggling full-time work and single motherhood. Rory is nowhere near as strong-willed or capable as Lorelai. Richard and Emily did a LOT wrong and it absolutely cannot be denied or excused, but Lorelai did worse in many ways. At least Emily and Richard's daughter doesn't crumble at the first sign of opposition, isn't a serial cheater, and has no felony record.
I’m gonna have to disagree that Lorelai would have had the guidance of her parents if she hadn’t left. I mean she would get inundated with ‘guidance’ but it wouldn’t have been good guidance. I think it would have stunted her growth similar to Rory but different mechanisms. Overbearing vs enabling.
This is actually a good point, I do think Lorelai needed some guidance from her parents as she was a teen parent, they would have some good input with raising Rory maybe not all the way, but she did need some of that. Lorelai’s growth was stunted period, as we see when it comes to her relationships and how she handles any conflict or people she feels are “going against her”. However, knowing Emily she would’ve tried to take over and not let Lorelai parent her daughter in any capacity.
Yeah, I think it was a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation for Lorelai. I also believe Lorelai must have been very depressed trying to raise Rory in her parents' house. Rory would not have thrived with a severely depressed mother, either. Lorelai and Rory are both realistic in a lot of ways, and I agree Lorelai made a lot of mistakes as a mom. But they're realistic mistakes. She did her best with all the flaws she had.
I'm not sure if they would have provided guidance(not the kind Lorelai would listen to, anyway). But I think the financial support would have been worth staying for. Richard wasn't a hands on father, so money would have been his only contribution. And Emily didn't seem like a baby loving grandma, so she would just be critical from the sidelines. She managed to be her own person for 16 years. I don't think 3 or 4 more years to get some kind of stable job would have killed her. I am not saying stay with them forever, just a few more years rather than live in a shed with a baby.
@@LB-gz3ke one of the most interesting/ out of touch/ funny character traits Lorelai has is that she’s so privileged she doesn’t have the self awareness to know refusing large sums of money is entirely from a place of privilege. Not a single working class person (the way Lorelai thinks she’s being with that choice) would say no to the amount of money being offered to her. But I can accept the running joke that her mom is such a pill she makes 50,000 dollars seem not worth one night a week of a gourmet meal and is actually a high price to pay. Also I think a more subtle joke is Lorelai being like “yall just don’t understand what being my mother’s daughter is like” and most other characters are right in their dismissive responses. Gurl it is you who doesn’t understand 😂
@@Meanie74 Yes, exactly. It's like when she and Sookie get the chance to cater for Emily when they absolutely needed the money. Poor Sookie was so frustrated with Lorelai. Girl, we are real broke and your mom is offering real money and you want to bitch because she expects to try the food first?
OMG, your voice is so soothing! 🥰
Havent seen the rest of the video but based on the comments mentioning Lorelai…im so glad that she gets called out cause omg on the other side of the fandom, god forbid she gets called out or toxic even. Like she was great too but that doesnt take away how a huge reason why rory turned out the way she did (not to take away most of the responsibility from rory too) is from lorelai. Neither are perfect, including Lorelai. But what makes her so lovable is that she does learn from her mistakes and that eventually influences on rory (in some parts at least lol)
Welcome back love! I love these shows/movie breakdowns of these characters. These characters for the most part inspire my Pinterest board lol. 🖤
Thankyou honey 🩷✨
Rory has more issues of Parentfication than we know.
This analysis is so good ✨️I enjoyed this show, but always wondered if it was a secretly a social commentary on what happens when people put someone in a pedestal 🤔
I’m currently on season 5 and I don’t want to watch the full video until I’m done but yes their relationship is very unhealthy. Lorelai never really parented Rory and she viewed her as a friend instead of her child. It’s funny how Lorelai would get mad at her parents for getting into her relationships but she did the same with Rory and Jess. She had such disgust towards him when really he’s just a troubled teen. She also didn’t see her privilege which is a big part of her fault as well.
I never watched Gilmore Girls but the more I see in all these recent recomended videos about these two, the more I see myself and my own emotionally stunted mother (in her case it was childhood abuse and not teen pregnancy), except for little differences like having been pretty wise from a very young age made me not become an NLOG as I believe every person has their value even if I dislike them or their lifestyles or the fact my mom has a sister who was the golden child and everyone expected me to grow up just like my mom. I've always loved my mother deeply, but you'll never catch me denying that I've wished for practically as long as I can remember, that my mom was more like a normal mom and that I've even cried myself to sleep over our dysfonctional relationship. I hate the, 'your mom is so cool, I wish mine was like her' comments I've gotten throughout life. Trust me, it looks fun but emotionally being an orphan whilst emotionally taking care of the person who should be caring for you can be hell sometimes.
Omg yes yes yes loved this! I love Gilmore Girls too it is definitely one of my comofrt shows but watching it back I really disagree with so many of Lorelais decisions! One of my biggest pet peeves is how she treats Chris like whenever she is arguing with him Rory has to be too. I know she said in some episodes she doesnt have to, but given their relationship I dont feel like Rory (especially when she was younger) felt like she would have a choice in that. And also when he wanted to spend Christmas with Rory and Lorelai iust didn't tell him?!??! I get that when we first meet him he isn't all that reliable but he gets his life together and makes a real effort to be consistent in Rorys life. He even said when Rory was born it felt like Lorelai wanted it to just be her and Rory.
Also really bugged me when Rory didnt want to talk to her about cheating with Dean and Lorelai was like I wanted to talk as friends not mother and daughter, she is your daughter!!!
I love this show but so many of the decisions don't sit right with me so I'm really glad you made this video! I feel like Gilmore Girls was set up as this great model for what mother daughter relationships should be when in actuality it was pretty harmful. It felt like Lorelai didn't want any outside influence on Rory which isn't healthy, a child needs lots of different influences to be grow up healthy and happy.
emily and richard would not have helped guide lorelai in raising rory. they would have made it worse.
Or would've taken over entirely
I feel like Rory taking a semester or even a year off from school shouldn't have been a big deal. When I was in my freshman and sophmore year, my mom was asking ME if I wanted to take some time off because I was stressed. I stuck it out because it was my choice and now I'm good. If Rory had taken time off she probably would've learned more if she had done some internship in a city or out of state or something. I think that if Rory got that time off, she could have realized that journalism wasn't her calling because she wasn't that great at it. She could've been a researcher or a writer and gotten through the whole situation a lot better. But Lorelai was completely against it for... What?
The Gilmore Girls are two of televisions greatest villains. Justice for Lane Kim!!
Wonderful analysis! I love these videos.
I loved their fashion!
I'm a huge Gilmore girls fan but you aren't wrong for this take.
I’m glad my sister in law can be my sons friend because I would never be my kids friend. They need to respect me, and Rory is a good example why. She was way too mouthy for my taste even in her golden years.
4:18 that part is wild like I could never imagine my other acting like that, I'm not exaggerating when I say teenage me would just burst out crying. Call past me dramatic idc
Honestly Lorelei and Rory were as elitist as Lorelei’s parents. That’s one reason they stuck in stars hollow, they were better than everyone there.
Rory went away from Stars Hallow and Lorelai dodmt have to leave Stare Hallow. It wasn't hurting anyone
Any relationship would be better than the one I had with my mom. But this codependency thing can be unhealthy to any relationship type
I think Lorelai’s own lack of experiences didn’t help too as far as her own development. She didn’t feel or wasn’t equipped to prepare Rory for certain things as far as navigating life as her own woman especially the Yale situation which I guess is in a way a reflection of the hardship of parenting sometimes tho. Rory was supposed to be this mature smart girl who always figured it out “better” than Lorelei at times. Lorelei needed to step up as a mother there but got angry cause she was confronted with the fact that her “perfect” kid chose to do an imperfect thing in her eyes that she couldn’t deflect it coming from Rory cause Rory usually could do no wrong in her eyes. Im pretty sure if Lorelai would’ve handled that one moment better then Rory likely wouldn’t had continued to spiral the way she did.
Great video. On one of my favorite shows. I hated when they stopped speaking, it was so petty. And I could NOT stand Emily. She was unbearable. She’s the cause of a lot of this had she had a better relationship with her daughter.
Lovely video!Any chance you make one about "Veronica Mars "?
Great idea
You should do video on Christopher and jess 🤔
You got a new subscriber :) love your video styling. Would love to see a video of the iconic Vanessa Williams her fashion, music, and film/TV retrospective (The movie Dance with Me introduced me to her).
Lorelai was an AWFUL mother to Rory. #babymamaprogramming
Loreali is so territoral over rory and im convinced its why lore liked dean so much (in the beginning)
Like deans fine, but he was putty. He didnt really influence rory in the way jess or logan did. And even Emily and richard, when they started to influence rory AT ALL, lore was livid.
When I watched this show as a middle schooler I kinda envied that Rory had a mom that’s like an older sister. I had Narcissist parents, cold and emotionally distant.
I been tryna decide if i should binge watch this show, is it worth it?
it's worth it
I think the show itself is inherently narcissistic.
Hello, can you make a video talking about the underrated fashion of Betsy Jobs and Arlene Lorenzo from the 1999 movie D¡ck?
That's funny, Lorelai wants her mom to stay out of her business, yet noses into Rory's business all the time, lol
So do you think parents and their children can be best friends?
Am I in the minority that thought Mitchell was wrong?
❤❤❤❤
This opened my eyes, like my mom and I had a relationship like this🫠I didn’t realize that