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In this video men's style, grooming, fitness and relationship expert, Aaron Marino of www.iamalpham.com, answers the question "can you be friends with your ex?".
The other day Aaron Marino of alpha m. receives an email asking for break-up advice. The viewer wants to know if he can be friends with his 'ex'. Alpha discusses various break-up scenarios. You know how many ex-girlfriends that Alpha is friends with? Zero. It's not practical or realistic.
Usually when a break-up occurs, one wants it more than another. You broke up for a reason- you're not compatible. Being friends is silly because you have enough friends. You don't need to be friends with someone who you have been intimate with.
But maybe you did maintain a friendship. Is this okay with your new relationship? It's weird and awkward for the new relationship because questions arise. You have to overcome the probing. Then the stage comes up with the comparing as well as wondering if you are talking to your 'ex' (your so-called 'friend'). Alpha states there is no reason to have a friendship with your 'ex'. Sure it can happen but it's not a good idea.
Speaking of friends, Alpha addresses 'hooking up' within a peer group. He finds this incredibly sad and 'not good'. He says we have to respect ourselves, and causal sex has consequences. It can be dangerous: unwanted pregnancies and diseases. You need to think about having sex with anyone who will screw you. You are special, and share yourself with people who respect you. There are consequences of having casual sex with friends as well as being friends with your 'ex'.
f
Sometimes you talk like the father I never had.
The grocery store, huh?
@@kehnyonlohrum4652 It's been 12 years... He's still not back from getting me an ice cream
oh my god
sad
Kehnyon Lohrum for me it was the gas station for some cigarettes.
I took my ex time after time. The last time my ex walked out the door was on the day I was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. Recently my ex wanted to get back together but I said you weren't there when I needed you and I've grown since you left. I don't want or need people like that in my life
Are u guys still in contact with each other??
Good for you dawg , self respect is something most dudes don’t value
@Katy Alvarez
Stay away from him or her you can't have future together.
Bad friend indeed.
@Katy Alvarez I hope things are better for you now and will continue to be.
Have a great day! Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and Happy Holidays! Cheers, buddy! 🥂
God Bless! Stay strong, stay safe and take care of yourselves! Wishing everyone the best! Jesus loves you! May the Holy Spirit guide you! 😇 💗🕊
DAMN RIGHT BRO!
i took ur advise and left my girl ... because she was just not that into me .. and now im taking ur advise here as well .. ur awesome man ...
Change your profile picture dude it's a bit intimidating, just some friendly advice.
Quibblerb the small head is pretty intimidating
arsalan rana me too. Same. Hurt but saves more pain later
@@princejoshua7706 nah my boi still being him ayyy 👏👏 fucking chad
I've been friends with my ex 4 years now after she broke up with me, it's been 4 years, still got feelings for her n hopes for a second chance, now she's dating someone new n I just dont see the need to be friends with her anymore. I'm so glad I watched this.
Be stronger man
Don't do this to yourself
Bruh fuck man ,god I hope you did break that shit off
Yeah fuck that.. move on.
My ex cost me my current relationship. It is definitely a very bad idea to stay friends with your ex. Pick your self up and leave him while you still can😭😢😟
Look, NO advertisements! Good old days.
Shawn Lim what is there to advertise on the topic to be fair
LilRejct somehow he'll always find a way.
Shawn Lim I was waiting for an advertisement any second :D But it didn't come
LilRejct tiege hanley
Look man he's got money to make n bills to pay...
I'm with you...friends with ex's...zero. Don't need drama...they are an ex for a reason...got plenty of friends...move on.
Jet Steele period
Yup🤐😐
Aren't you the dramatic one for refusing to date someone just because of a friendship with an ex. If anything you should be happy for them, they didn't end up angry and heartbroken with each other.
@@etsap1236 oh shut up
@@ktg5713 Maybe, when i care what you say.
A blunt is what you pass around
an old frisbee
I loved how you actually care and how you consider sex sacred. I though I was alone on that...
+1
Amen
+1
SafesacredseXxX
Sometimes, in my group of friends, I feel isolated for having the opposite mindset, that sex is not that sacred..
The whole “live for the moment” mentality has gotten our society into more trouble than what it’s worth.
In my opinion if you can stay friends with your ex you either we're never in love or both of you are still in love.
Zacharias Sjö exactly!!!
Zacharias Sjö so fucking true!!!!!
i agree 100%
Bullseye
Zach Lake that is exactly true
It's sad what's happening to us young people. I feel very sad for my generation and our values.
Not just your generation I’ve seen it with much much older people
I just don't get it. From being his girl to being his friend - no ways! Respect yourself enough to leave for better regardless of hiw it ended. Take what you've learned and keep moving. Period.
It can be out of 'guilt' -- I'm not that bad, I still look after my 'friend'.... NOT!! The person who broke the relationship out of cheating is bad, let them go, your mourn for the dreams you had with the person, not the person, you can't change a 'bad' dude or dudette that you considered for you, they are not for you. Let 'em go, forget them - enjoy life as a single or find a better person for you. Hope this helps!
I agree, its horrible idea to stay friends with someone you have history with. It never turns out good.
How if ur just friends and what if she’s cute
@@kevinsamson1693 you see her cute, you count her as attractive. Me personally only have female friends that i’m not attracted to, I view them as siblings and they know that.
FINALLY an honest answer on this "my exes and I? we're just friends" bullshit. THANK YOU for pointing out the obvious: the "just friends" crap (in the context of no shared children) is totally unfair to the new relationship, creating strain: how can a new relationship possibly grow and flourish in an environment filled with the Ghosts of Girlfriends Past?
So true
@@BrendaTheeSolarGirl but there just friends
If both parties are mature enough to move on, realising that it was lack of compatibility, then it is easy to accept that there is someone better out there for you and/or your former partner.
Both almost never feel like that. Also it almost makes it impossible for your new partner to feel secure
Alright let's get the usual scenario.
A long relationship comes to an end. You decide to stay friends.
Would you like it if he/she came up on you and starts talking about his/her new relationship? I guess not. Especially if you had even the smallest hint of feelings for that person. It's gonna break you down and tear you apart. You may be "happy" of the other person's happiness because you care for that person but let's be serious, you're not THAT happy. The sooner that person get's completely out of your life the better it will be. Because then time will do it's part and you'll be able to move on.
That's the main reason you can't be friends with your ex.
Omg you really have opened my eyes, and I really want to take your word for it, because my ex still wants to be friends a few months after we broke up(on good terms), and I think there's no upside to doing so, for either of us, thank you!
Don’t agree.
For a lot of years i was together with a girl. We ment everything to eachother and loved eachother deeply. Then we broke up, but we’re still extremly close friends. We have both had relationchips with others and she’s stil like anyone els of my friends and so am I to her.
It’s different kind of love.
You love your friends in one way, your family in another, your partner in a third way and your belongings in a forth way.
All are kinda similar in some ways but completly different in other..
@@johanfagerstromjarlenfors simp kind of love, just sad
@@johanfagerstromjarlenfors yeah true . I can be in love with my ex but have casual sex with others
I can relate
Dear Alpha, you were right.
Sincerely,
Carol (a woman and devoted viewer) from Chile.
pregnant?
Me too from UK
This video was fucking eye opening man, seriously, you've made me re-think casual sex. But you're completely right, it's media influenced, and we need to cut this shit out now. If not for our sake, for the sake of your children, I'd be sick if I thought I was gonna bring up children who do the same shit I do.
Actually, it's not the natural progression of our species and culture. It's completely media influenced and for some reason sometimes done on purpose.
nathan brady Yeah he's totally right. I mean I've always thought like that, but I never really heard anyone speak up about it. This guy is awesome. It's obvious that he really cares about us.
Never do it, if there is ever a time to hold onto your dignity this is it!
Maybe it is late time for me to hear that..i talk to her many times after breakup and each time i was upset.. but do it late better than not do it..i will try to preserve what remain from my dignity♥️🙏🏻
Same here, I don't have friends from any of my Exes.
It's really a horrible idea to stay friends with someone you know that you have a bad history with.
OH MY GOD! Im 18 and I've always had that view on relationships as well !
Call me old fashioned but a relationship is a connection of emotions and it needs to be a strong meaningful connection for me to try taking it to bed , I've been in only one relationship, it lasted 3 years which um, ended 2 weeks ago with me being dumped because she needed to find herself and youre right , she wanted to stay friend and i turned that down, i mean whoa , i loved you , you can't just ask me to be your friend and watch you doing whatever or whoever you want to , it'd kill me. Also, your break up advice videos have honestly helped me a lot during this phase, its really tough but I'm going strong.
You really do make a difference in men's lives, more so around my age group because we're still being shaped.
Subscriber for life !
That speech starting from around 4:17 about today's youth gets you an instant subscribe from me. I've been following your channel for sometime, and you're a good guy, no awesome guy! This day and onwards, you have my respect brother.
dude you're right not old fashioned
Totally agree with you!!! Thank you!!! That is exactly what I asked to my now ex-boyfriend when we were still dating. He claimed his exes are now “just friends” and I told him that “normal friends” don’t keep tabs on each other like my ex and his exes did. Glad I know this “my exes are my friends” thing is not normal....
Why ruin a new relationship with being friends with exes? Stupid! Not logical.
You have to be pretty desperate for friends if you're actually condoning a friendship with your ex. I'm only friends with females who I'm NOT attracted to primarily because the temptation meter will constantly be flying off the charts. In addition, both men & women who haven't fully moved on can do some really damaging stuff if & when they allow the jealousy factor to manipulate their better judgement.
But hey, everybody is different so do whatever you feel works best for you, but realistically, friendship with an ex is definitely a recipe for disaster. PLUS its unfair to the new person who you or your ex chooses to be in a relationship with.
Stop being selfish & move on already!
Probably one of your best videos, really wise advice!!
There's only two reasons why you would still want to be friends with your ex:
1. You have got a Low self esteem and need affirmation from every possible source.
2. You're naive and really think that you could be (best)friends with your ex while going into a new relationship. Which is just messed up in my books. Best way to ruin your new relationship as quickly as possible
Well this happened to me a few weeks ago and my relationship ended b/c of it. Not on my part but hers. She tried to make the argument that I should be ok w/ her being in communication w/ her ex and I wholeheartedly disagreed! Plus she lied to me about them being in contact w/ each other so things were heading south just from that point on. I though I was being unreasonable and overreacting about it but there's nothing that justifies that being ok for me!
Your video helped me w/ that dilemma I thought I had but I stood my ground for the right reason. What she did was straight up inconsiderate and disrespectful to me and our relationship. She clearly doesn't have the maturity or decency to know that was unacceptable.
She entertained a text from him, made plans to meet up, told him she was thinking about him when his birthday came around...and I'm supposed to be ok w/that!! Hell no! A careless and stupid decision on her part cost is both.
Jose Diaz 🤝💯
It’s complete disrespect. They will gas light you into thinking it’s ok and you are the one with the problem. Knew a guy once...I refused to be friends. You treat me badly, why the hell would I be your friend after we break up?
i feel you.. my boyfriend did same thing to me and he manipulated me. He was saying i was overacting and being annoying... When i learned that he was talking with his ex my heart was broken and i cant trust him anymore. He promised me to never talk with her again but he was talking with her like 3 months.. idk what to do. i just wanna cry
I had the same problem with my ex. There was one time one of my ex-gf liked my photo and she told me that she was uncomfortable by it. But then her on the other hand reacted with a heart on her ex’s photo and i called it out and she got defensive?! The double standard was absurd. I’m friends with my exes too, but I myself set boundaries on how I interact with them. One of my exes actually got married not too long ago, and the start of their relationship I was close to her, but when I sensed that they’re getting serious I distanced myself from my ex. I did not want to get in the way of their growing romance. And at the end we’re all happy and no drama.
I have only 1 reason to stay friends with my ex. i have like 15 reasons not to be friends of her being: loss of respect for her, I'll still have feelings for her and the sight of her reminds me of what I lost, she ghosted me, friendships like these are phony in nature and it'll fade away,
THANK YOU! I thought I was crazy for the insecure feelings that I felt after telling the guy that I am dating that I am not comfortable with his friendship with his ex.
I told my current guy that his ex calling him, texting him, insisting that he come pick her up frim the bus station when she gets to town etc was SO hurtful and disrespectful.
He agreed to not go pick her up...however,
She arrives tonight and Im curious whether or not he'll come home to me tonight (she'll be in twn arnd 10:30pm) or if he'll make an excuse like "i had to get wrk done in the shop or, i was working so late I crashed at Dads place".
Basically, if he doesnt come home tonight or if he stays out late just so can go see her quickly (evn if he does come home afterwards), I feel i hav no choice but to leave him.
For the past 3 months he's slept in bed with me (she wasnt in the province tho).
So its time to get honest.
If he chooses to put his energy into her instead of our relationship, well, I have my answer...he was never that into me and is still attached to her.
I cant be with someone who's willing to hurt me THAT bad or play games with my heart.
I wld NEVER do that to him. My exes are completely OUT of the picture!
Exact situation I’m going through rn
you're right! I respect that! it's not "old fashion", it's mature & ethical what you said
The last part was moving, 17 year old here, virgin, declined intercourse probably twice, it might be just the circumstance but it might also be my beliefs. Always wanted to become the best father. Thanks for saying my mind alpha.
im 17 too and if ur a guy lose it as quick as possible bro!!
+exposingnigga$ sex isn't really anything special, I not a virgin, you shouldn't really aim to lose it. should focus more on school
+Thomas Shih So you not a virgin now?
+exposingnigga$ since that last comment, nope😂😂
+Thomas Shih Bro go out and beat up some sugar walls.....Virgin
I was in a relationship with someone for 3 years who I was madly in love with. I broke up with her right after a mutual friend died because I realized how much we were hurting each other constantly. I didn't want the breakup but I didn't want to hurt each other anymore. A year has gone by and neither one of us has hooked up or started talking to anyone else. And we are good friends.. but the thing is. I feel like being friends is hurting me more than anything now because I have anxiety about her moving on. I don't know why I am having such a hard time moving on because there have been several offers from other girls to pursue things with me. We've agreed to not get back together but I can't separate what we had with what we have now.. Its just hard for me to imagine her with other person
I know that feeling. It's always very hard to even imagine seeing them with someone else. But the truth is, you're not the only one going through that feeling. The other partner also goes through that feeling.
It's always hard even thinking or imagining them with someone else because you're imagining them with someone else sharing the same things or sharing and or doing everything which you once shared together with her, especially emotionally feelings you shared and worst to think of her having s*x with another, which is not you. It's a two way feeling. It takes shorter for some people to get over it. For others,it takes longer especially if you two were together for a very long time and shared so much bonding together.
Did you get back with her?
This is logic speaking. Chick speak: let’s be friends so I can put as an orbiter just in case the new guy screws up. Women can’t accept a loss and be alone.
Selfishness is inside most of them
There is nothing wrong with casual sex, as long as you treat eachover as human beings and not as objects. I hate when my friends send me sreenshots of them sexting with a girl or tell me intimate stuff about them because it makes everything look so cheap. You can have sex with a girl, but be respectful and not blab about it to everyone. And I know girls do it too but that shit makes me sick.
the problem is most casual sex happens when people are drunk or on drugs so the decision making is not the best. I just think is so sad when i see people not even having the self respect to at list know the person they are having sex with.
+Thorfinn I appreciate your respect. Wish every man have your heart.
+Thorfinn This is just me but I think sex should be within a marriage
There is nothing wrong with casual sex, as long as you think she's ok with it.
Can you be friends with your ex?
Sure you can. Its's entirely an option. Just flush every last vestige of your self respect down the shitter and go for it. Good luck with that.
SlideRulePirate words i jct did the same thing right now...we’re friends now🌚
you can stay friends IF and only if it was a sexless relationship
i think u're right
GhostDog Jr no bro, he means platonic relationship
Not entirely true. All depends on the people involved!
you might actually have a point there
Physical attraction is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex. you don't see a girl/guy and say "he/she has a great personality."
My ex is my friend we were together for about 2 years. We've been friends since for 15 years. She has a boyfriend and it didn't phase me, not attracted to her at all. Unconditional love, you have to love yourself first and then you can truly love others and accept their life.
"We can be friends!!!!" she screamed at me. "Ah no. No we can't." I calmly replied.
Depends on the age and circumstances. staying friends when you are both younger is rare as the heat of youth is still strong and you end up just arguing all the time or out to belittle one another etc
I'm still friends with an ex, but that's likely only because the breakup was mutual. We literally came to each other at exactly the same time both wanting to break up but still be friends.
Nieland I feel like that's really the only way to stay friends. Otherwise if u got stabbed in the back then it just can't happen.
I'm still friend with my ex. I broke with him but I always wanted us to be cool. My actual boyfriend doesn't even care about because he is like friend with my ex too
Vale does it work fine? Any weird feelings?
@@Vale-wp7pe it works fine there no weird feeling
Wait until she finds someone else… let’s see if you’ll still be friends then!
it’s crucial to be in good terms but NEVER have a close/special friendship with them, the further away they are the better
Don't worry anymore Sweetheart , I will introduce you to The greatest relationship Restorer Dr MELISA that helped me get my ex back in less 48 hours... Shee will help you oka;y
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I can't believe am with my love again
Again, as a female i found this so good. I've aways said that you can't be friends with your ex. Although i am now good friends with the father of my son, but that took years to achieve. It's been great for our son to see us get along and for us both to accept each others individual lives. I do think that having a child/children makes is almost inescapable.
Regards to your ''rant'' on the trend of sleeping with everybody and anybody.....I don't think you are being old fashioned at all. I totally agree with you.
Im really good friends with an ex after no contact for like 2 years and we have a great friendship. If you actually wanna be friends you gotta make sure the attraction is gone
i can recommend you to a man who helped me bring back my ex permanently he can also help you
. ...+1 (2 1 3) .5. 8 7-4 4 5 3....
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Message him on WhatsApp for help
i appreciate and respect your words about modern sex trends in teens, you arent old fashioned problem is in the people who doesnt respect even themselves
Simple answer.. yes you can be friends. But it doesn't mean that there aren't any strings attached. Imagine it. You're friends with someone you used to love and care about and used to be romantically involved with them. You watch them change and move on and it's hard. Keeping them there infact even makes it harder. You begin to move on but still have that "what if" feeling. When you date someone new it's hard for them and if you see her move on and find someone else it hurts.
I don't know who needs to hear this but voice of ongoing experience here!
I'm not only friends with my ex, I am also housemates with my ex alone in a 3 bedroom unit (thanks other housemate for bailing on us, and fyi, the breakup happened before the moving in because we were great at being friends) and it is TOUGH. Sure, in the beginning you're like YEA I CAN TOTALLY DO THIS because you don't know how you will feel when you are being replaced by someone else as the 'most important girl' in his life next time.
The jealousy, the mixed feelings, the 'I miss the memories', the constant aching feeling or possibly even a competition of seeing who gets more dates on dating apps, etc, will creep on you. Of course, you also will think "we can communicate through it" but at some point communicating what you feel becomes pointless because neither of you are obliged to take each other's feelings into consideration when planning out your own future with someone else. No, you guys will most likely NOT get back together if you spend more time together, unless there's sexual feelings involved then maybe yea, you will rethink the breakup.
So yea, heed the youtuber's advice, you broke up for a reason, STAY BROKEN UP and APART from each other.
Yeah sounds unhealthy lol you’re still attached. So weird. Move on.
@@DJ-kt1ht wisest advice out of the ass that I've ever gotten. BRAVO! Someone get this guy a chipsmore! WOO
After a break up, you should cut off all contact with your ex for atleast 30 days. Delete their number and block them on all social media. Then work on yourself, go out and meet new people. Only after all of this, if your ex wants you back in their lives. Make them earn your time, then just use them for sex until you find someone better.
I personally don't think 30 days is enough time to get over somebody. Especially if the relationship was 6+ months and longer. If you're really trying to move on then you may need at least a year or two without any communication so both parties can get use to life without each other again and move on.
you dropped some real science at the end there, good stuff.
I used to pride myself at staying friends and in touch with exs and then I realized it wasnt healthy for me
I hate it when that happens
Baron Thomas man why do you think so?
I was looking too much at the past, its as if I just wanted their new relationships to fail and I dont want to be that kind of man
we love you old fashioned aron... thanks for keeping things honest and straight..
I must say this gives this man legitimacy. Too edgy at times for me, but this time he hit the sweet spot. Keep on Truckin'
If you were friends in the relationship, you can be friends out of it. Unfortunately for many couples, they're not genuine friends.
It is sooo true and I also hate how casual sex has become over the years. It truly worries me sometimes as a young adult. It’s almost as if the idea of marriage and being with a one person is not desirable anymore? Which is scary and sad.
Its as if all of these STDs just disappeared
i can recommend you to a man who helped me bring back my ex permanently he can also help you.
Message him on WhatsApp
I have only ever had sex with 1 person my entire life and we're still together after nearly 10 yrs of dating. Idk.. I lost my virginity and became attached and never looked back, and we've broken up a few times for a few months bc the relationship became really toxic and apart of me thought I was truly done with him but the thought and idea of letting another man have my body and heart like he did scared me I was scared to let another man in like that again and I couldn't shake my feelings for him. But I could hang out with men, and have no temptation to wanna sleep with them bc my heart is still elsewhere. People thought I was either lying about sleeping with them or weird. The only time I ever felt temptation was when I was single and vulnerable but still said no. Unless I knew it was gonna go somewhere I wasn't interested. I'd shut it down before I made any future regrets later on.
I think the best thing about Aaron, is when he is real. I mean when he really opens up about something. He thinks is important and that's what makes him the #1 youtuber in my book. He is just a normal guy who really wants the best for everyone. And to me that will always get him a thumbs up.
You're hardly old fashioned bud, I have the same view points on sex and relationships, I don't know sex just isn't really enough for me I guess, I like to cuddle, eat together hangout and be well.... together, random sex just doesn't do it for me, :/
And my friends honestly can't seem to comprehend this for some odd reason, :/
Man I admire your bravery care and openness to us. I have never heard someone talk about respecting your body and having relationships with only the people you care about and they care about you too . I only hear it from a religious perspective. I'm really happy and proud of you for speaking up and I think lots of us watching you considered your words about our bodies being sacred. Thanks man you're like a big brother.
You're not oldfashioned, you're just realistic and i love it
Mate I just watched this video and your how to deal with breakups video and I feel I have come a long way now. I have been spending the past 2 months after a 3 year long relationship breakup just searching for happiness again - coming to terms with it all. You have helped me so much, your point on compatibility has really eased my confusion and I sincerely thank you.
Yep, feeling this... I've really tried staying friends. It's been so tumultuous. Weird vibes, mixed signals, attraction, sometimes hooking up again, pushing away by both of us at different times. It's just not psychologically healthy. I don't know if I'll ever really get over her, but I need to just let her go for both of our sake. Thanks for the logical explanation.
How did it go?
Bit of a weird situation for me. My girlfriend broke up with me, and SHE was the one who kept trying to talk to me, and I was trying to get space to heal. And she says she wants to be friends and all that, but I don't think we can, she was my first girlfriend so she'll always be kinda special to me, you know? I've pretty much moved on now, but I think there's still something there for me, because every time I see her I get kinda sad. Not like to the point where I'm gonna ball my eyes out, but kinda bummed. I don't think I wanna be friends with her, though, friendLY, sure, but not friends.
OLD AND UNCOOL ?
bro this is what i was searching for since a long time, i mean i recently broke up with my ex, and she has the similar kinda behavior which i HATE. i used to think its only me being "old" but later i realized that all the kids of this gen are like this. Hook up with someone and go around telling everyone that the person is my best friend. I honestly don't believe in all this crap because friendship is the most beautiful form of a relationship i could ever find in my life, and i think in many others lives too. But what nowadays kids are doing is NOT friendship !
Really loved it when you took this topic, made me feel way better, because now i know, i was right.
And it is true, YOU CANNOT (more like SHOULD NOT) BE FRIENDS WITH YOUR EX, shes your ex for a reason
Huge respect to you brother. Keep up the amazing work !!
P.S.
would love to see a video about this uprising issue of new gen "friendship"
Dude yessss. I love this video. I agree 100%%%% sex isn't something you do for "fun" it's an intimate feeling. Thank you so much for all the amazing content.
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!! This is what I've been saying for YEARS!
That last part about Tinder dude, spot on. Respect.
+Haider K (ZkHaider) Yea, I wish he would've kept going on with his soap box. We need Men like him to set the record straight.
I appreciate this. You being old fashioned is great! You make a lot of great points here and I agree. I have chosen to be single for some time now to be sure I wait for the right person. This comes from truly respecting myself deeply. This is valuable. The more deep work you do on yourself and hold off from just dating all the time, you increase your value. I agree that it should be sacred and exclusive too.
I also am getting better at creating better boundaries with exes. It is not always healthy to remain friends with exes. I hear you on this. Thank you for your video. Super awesome!
it's true. I realized that if you are friends with your ex there is always a feeling of unfinished business.
2nd part of this video was much better than the first. It is possible to be with friends with an ex. You don't drop them, the relationship changes and evolves. You continue to support them and you let go of your attachment. Simple.
I'm friends with an "ex".... but we dated in high school, 13 years ago. We dated for about five months, broke up coz we just weren't compatible as girlfriend and boyfriend, and it took a long time for us to get to being friends, but 13 years later and she's one of my best mates, who's been there for me through thick and thin and who's happily living with the love of her life. This is a very big exception though and not a very common occurrence. I'm not friends with anyone else I've previously gone out with.
Yes, we can be friends if both have accepted that they aren't compatible for each other . Give some time before both realise it. Being friends doesn't mean you have to share everything about you with them.. but are open to each other for any genuine reasons.
Agreed. You know you're in for some issues when you date a girl that casually sleeps around.
Sorry I have to disagree, not all people can't be friends with their ex.. if he was your best friend for 3 years, even before you started dating, you could make it work after taking time to heal, if that person means that much to you. Yes it gets hard sometimes, but you don't just give up on a true friend.. some people are making it work, like me.
Larissa Prinsloo BS
What happened to the other members of the human race, you cant be friends with them?? Why should it be hard? Friendship shouldnt feel like this right? Its like something has come crashing down and then you are holding on to the rubble. For what?
Wow I remember posting this :P So my and my boyfriend were best friends in grade 9, then broke up in grade 12 (this was when I wrote this, a few months after we broke up, we stayed legit friends for like 9 months), then begin college he asked me out again and we had our 7 year anniversary the other day :D I can't tell you how happy I am. We talked every morning and day.
So on the one side, I might have been kind-of wrong (only in terms of me), because we did not stay friends, we got back together and learned how to communicate better (tell each other everything immediately and work it out in a loving way, not me arguing and him saying nothing, I have now learned to say less when angry and he has learned to speak up when something bothers him).
On the other side I still completely agree with my 3 year younger me!!! It depends what relationship you are in!!! I would not recommend staing friends for most people (sure might be good reason for breaking up), but YOU CAN NOT SAY IT JUST WON"T WORK!! If I listened to all the people around me who said "he wasn't the one, if he loved you he would not leave you, you will find the one" BS I would not have been as happy as I am now. You MAKE things work in a relationship, NO such thing as a perfect relationship from the start! Took us a while to learn each other and how to communicate!! We are still learning new things each day, still can't beleave it! :)
AGAIN not saying everyone should have hope, it depends on the relationship. If the person is toxic/ manipulating/ cheat/ abuse... ens then look for a good person. To the people who think good guys are boring, you have not experienced life yet!! Still small minded!!
It is a blessing to be able to grow together, it will never be perfect from the start (all you box-checking people)!!! Ok I am way off topic and agro its 2 am and I am late for assignment again so procrastination no one is even reading this I'm sure lol but back to point:
Don't listen to too much people and their opinions. Everyone has their own and have got it from their own experiences. And EVERYONE has a different experience!! So follow your own judgment!! There are not a lot of rules in a relationship (except I think: communication and openness and trust) and not being friends after a relationship is just a rule someone made up and everyone follows. It is most often a bad idea, I can agree to that, BUT NOT FOR EVERYONE.
I am saying random things now, I don't like analysing like this lol please ask/ debate if you want I will try to keep it shorter :P If you want to see pictures (will explain better than I can) then: larissaprinslooo (Instagram - look for the beach ball hehe) and don't be mean
@@Dancediva240 Hi, I'm not sure what you are saying :( maybe I can help? If you want?
Ignore my bad grammar and spelling and typos. You will bump your small toe if you are going to be mean about it! :P
No problems with the ex gfs. We all wanted to be friends, but we act like acquaintances. We respect each other, but friends don't work.
Thank you, Sir. This is so far your most poignant video to date BECAUSE you jumped on your soap box. It makes me respect your fashion, grooming and other life advice that much more because it really shows, even if unintended, how much you care for yourself by how you care for others. There is a moral code that shone through all that "Alpha" bravado, the jokes, laughter and free-spirit nature of your many videos. That morality, wisdom and love for others that came through in this piece is the kind of thing that thrusts a man onto a pedestal to be admired even when he doesn't wish to be on it. THAT my friend, is true alpha-ness. I applaud you Aaron.
Love your comment!❤
I have friends with 2 my ex's before don't hangout because no more they both were bisexual they want to be with me so we had fun.I told them my culture to have one person relationship not to have two. Stay single and find that right one for me . I'm forcus succeeding my dreams.
She told me I'm like a brother to her, and that killed me. I didn't deserve any of it.
jordan johnson bruh. My condolences. So she's into icvest lol Fuck that and work on yourself bro.
I pray for you
So glad I discovered this vid , Now I don't have to feel I'm the anomaly in regards to "casual sex".
I sometimes think I'm just old and out of step with the world. I can appreciate hearing some "real talk" for a change.
Never, someone always still has feeling for the other and always wants them back
I believe in maintaining a good relation with your ex as in keeping touch. It makes it less as a hard for both as if to cutting the contact it's just shows how cool you are and how peaceful you're taking it,, also who knows after comparing the other guy she might come back and appreciate you. But friends as if best buddies and crap like that doesn't work
I dont have enough friends. Also all my long term relationships are best friends so i dont wanna lose them. It IS possible to remain friends.
Hi @Never Beaten. I agree that sometimes, a strong emotional connection and friendship is formed that would cause someone to choose to stay friends with an ex. It's not always about "sex" or "keeping a backup" like many people assume. Thanks for sharing your experience.
My ex boyfriend broke up with me in march and reached out to me 3 days ago yesterday he told me he loved me and wanted to get back together and now we are friends with benefits
Alpha m. is one of the most reasonable and logical person in the internet. The part where he talks about sex.
Actually its easier than Aaron says especially for teens imo.. If the other person he or she dumped you and you still feel something for that person its more wise to just break contact with him/her if it doesnt look the person will take it back easily.. 95% he/she wont.. If you wont break contacts with her like skype/icq/facebook/texting etc etc you will only hurt yourself more and more for.. maybe even 1 or 3 years until it somehow one day just falls off ( eh ive been there :/ )
But if this is actually the scenario where the breakup comes from both sides (happens sometimes) and you both realise that there is no point in any emotional bounds between you then you can be those " friends ".. you can still chat each other sometimes.. visit each other just like nothing happened cos you both understood there is no way in relationship you will be in sink.. I was in this situation too and later we started to meet few times a month only for that one thing that we were synchronized in xD you know what i mean :D
Social media has definitely developed a bearing on this kind of situation. People didn't used to see other people unless they actually met up with them.
Nowadays you can break up with your girlfriend and still see everything they're doing and getting on with in life all thanks to social media.
This creates a problem, if a guy is still really attached to his ex, will he really delete her as a friend from his facebook?
Of course not. It can start to become a craving, some sort of addiction naturally. Before the days of social media, if you split up with a girl there was a huge chance you may not even see her again, and vice versa. But now we can exchange images at such a fast rate that it may be almost impossible for you to ignore her.
Best bet is to either delete all kinds of social media, which is the most ideal option, or at the very least, delete and block her. Simple.
Ryanthemagicalwizard thats what i mean in breaking contact terminating her from friends also.. if he is weak enough not to be able to do this and not stalk on her then he will just learn the hard way
Why would sex be sacred? It's such a social taboo even though everyone clearly enjoys it. What benefit comes of fighting your biology. Saying don't hook up with your friends is some medieval shit. Sleeping with someone you care about is always going to feel better but casual action during single periods, what's possibly wrong with that? Just be up front of your intentions and don't lead people on.
because it kills true relationships, and makes you a cheater. if you were used to fucking whoever you want when you were single, you'll have a hard time not fucking whoever you want when you're in a relationship. at some point you'll be seeing everyone as fuck toy, when that's not the case. and if at some point you find no outlet for your lust, you will be more likely to rape.
and you should also respect your body, and not be cheap.
and for girls out there, I'll let you know that not so many guys want to marry a girl who's been fucked an endless number of times. sex should be a special act that you only practice with that one special person. and again, if you got used to getting every dick that you want, then it'll be too easy for you to cheat, which will result in you being unfaithful of course.
GreyFace You get into a relationship because you WANT to dedicate yourself to someone. When you decide that you are ready to ignore your lust to keep one person happy. This called a choice. If you are not ready for commitment, don't commit.
Disinf3ctant lol nice, u ignored everything I said. post muted, not even worth this reply...
you'll remember my words
GreyFace Yes I'm sure I'll end up cheating on my wife three times and week and rape everyone I fancy because I didn't believe sex was a sacred gift from God that I was only to enjoy with one person. Nigga please
it's not jealousy.. it's character
My gf keeps in touch with several exes. Prior, I explained my position on this. If you don't have a baby or business together I don't see the reason. She claims they never talk. Her and I got in an argument about something and the first thing she said was "No one has ever told me that before. I'm going to ask my exes about this to see if its true". I asked how did she address me and it wasn't as a significant other. That is when she became my ex on the spot. Know your worth.
i can introduce you to a man who can bring your ex back permanently without delay
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Message him on WhatsApp
Emotionally evolved ppl can be friends for sure. If you really love , respect and adore someone it’s a solid foundation for a real lifetime connection. Never throw those people out of your life.. life is hard enough, be authentic and share your love, live your best life, we all need that type of connection to survive this crazy world, you are extremely lucky if you’ve ever found a soulmate.
Hello friends are you trying to attract or manifest love? to get back your ex, manifest your specific person, He's the best in restoring back broken relationship and attracting
Believe me he's going to restore your broken relationship back successfully.💔👆
I became best friends with my ex😑
didn't u promote Tinder?
No, never
oh sorry, my mistake :/
PaZe ZeeZia he promoted an app which shows recommended bars and clubs near you. I believe. You could be thinking of that?
PaZe ZeeZia He promoted something called Hot or Not.
Antonio Miranda As far as I know, Hot or Not and Tinder are almost identical, so the plot thickens.
I hope you still have the same views about sex Alpha, because this video is 2 years old.
Taha Shahab hes married
I dumped my ex 5 months ago. She then began dating someone new after only 3 months of the break. They are still together now. She had been reaching out to me every other day or so with very vague small talk. She wanted to stay friends. Even though I dumped her, I loved her and she loved me. We tried to stay in contact on a very friendly level of communication. Not texting each other much, and never seeing each other outside of work. (Yes I work with her) it didn’t work. I cried too much in silence. Yesterday was the first day I ignored her at work. I blocked her on all media’s and her number. My heart hurts less when I don’t hear from her is all I can tell you. It’s just not possible to be friends with someone you loved intimately. I’m moving on and I truly never want to hear or see her again. It’s sad, but I can’t take this heartache and the mind games .
Hi get help from The relationship restorer Dr Steve who helped me to reunite back with my ex... He can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance, ever since he helped me get to back with my ex I have been enjoying a happy, peaceful relationship.
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I’ve been friends with my ex girlfriend for over 18 years. Through a marriage (both of us) and boyfriends/girlfriends. We’ve hung out etc. all good here. We laugh, joke etc. things are fine. In the beginning it was rough but it’s good now. We can’t see either of us not being in each other’s life.
this guy is right i tried to be a friend with my ex we had tons of sex after we break up but trust me it just hurts.
Please make a video just address the soap box issue that you started but stopped before going on the tangent. I think you were on to something!
Pretty much what you said. When I split with my ex it sucked and it was a relatively mutual decision. After going through the recovery from the breakup, we got to a point that I'm not sure there is a name for. Not friends certainly. That would have taken far more time and commitment than either of us were going to invest in each other. On the other hand, we're a bit more than just acquaintances. We spent 10 years together. For most of that time we both were pretty happy with each other. So now we are polite, civil, and both hope for good things for the other, but we know we can't be part of that for each other.
My ex just broke up with me and said I hope we can be friends but told me I could never be friends with my exes. This guy is spot on it never works. She did break my heart. Wish she would have a change of heart and come back. I was very loyal and loving.
You're absolutely right, all these hook ups and one night stand. It's disgusting out there and so disrespectful
sooooo... im still friends with all my exes! i take them to pound town whenever i get the chance. i kind of want to let go of the first one though.. can you make a video on" how to let go of an ex you've ban@ing for over 10 years".. thanks Aaron.. much love.
lmao you're beat!!
Alex King and much love.
python animalia wwwwwwhat?!?! isnt everyone banging their ex's!?! this is news to me...
ur the 'younger generation' hes been talking about. "is there nothing sacred...?"
im friend with my ex and we do hang out in the park for real
You're one of a kind, lad.
butterfflyess same
My ex and I are still workout partners and go to the gym and hike together still. I feel like people don't understand that platonic and romantic relationships are different things. We fell in love romantically but over time it became more platonic. Now we actually enjoy each other's company more than ever now that we don't have the pressures of a romantic relationship
Totally agree with this. Don't know why there are so many women that believe it is ok to stay friends with their ex.
Have been watching Alpha for a while now and this guy is amazing. I have had no problems attracting the señoritas in my everyday life and also have my own routines to be the best version of me I can be. He is honest in his approach and believe me his tips work wonders in everyday life. I wish him success and everything that comes with it. One of the greats online for sure. Oh and, wish they had a dollar shave club in Canada!
Can't agree with you more man !!!! 😌
You're absolutely right Aaron I do not believe in keeping an ex as a friend at all. I torch that bridge & never look back....Aquarius to the heart.