It hit hard when Damon said people who figure out what they want and leave their relationships should also be celebrated. I'm going through a divorce now and most people we know have not reacted well to me - like unless I have been having an affair or some other big reason, just admitting that we have both changed and haven't grown in the same direction isn't a valid enough reason to leave. I would rather have figured this out after 9 years of marriage than after 20 years.
I think Nathaniel was really getting to something about sex that this other guy totally dismissed. I had a huge revelation lately that the majority of my self-worth my entire adult life has come from whether or not men want to sleep with me. This epiphany has totally turned me off of sex in recent months. Sex is a very convoluted subject for many people.
Absolutely loving this episode! The topics are so diverse and I'm hooked from the very beginning on! Probably your best podcast, Nathan! The conversation was flowing so effortlessly 🤩
It definitely seemed that Nathaniel was scared or reluctant to either share his views and/or oppose Damon. I feel like he held back to avoid a potential conflict or confrontation. Kinda felt a little cowardice I think.
I love the content from both of you and am also a global citizen, so really enjoyed listening some like minded people. :) But recently I’ve tapped into more traditional viewpoints that resonate a lot. So I have to disagree with Damon about the sex things - I used to think like him but I think the societal push for casual sex is a scam (perhaps more for women than men) and it almost seems like Nathaniel is feeling that pressure. People do not always act responsibly and even if they do there are so many people out there with lack of communication skills, boundaries, and sometimes with pure bad intentions that I feel like hopping onto the casual sex trend often takes more than it gives, leaving people with all kinds of shit to take care of. There is also this spiritual idea of soul ties that’s interesting, that you create these ties with all these people you’ve been intimate with and sometimes they don’t get properly cut.
I agree... it does have that element of "scam". The age old saying "sex sells" is truth because industries directly and indirectly profit off of it the same way the industries around refined sugar are about profit. People also have more of a tendency these days to look at external things to solve their problems or make them happy. If they're numb, depressed or hurting emotionally, they try to do anything to make them feel something, leading to more and more riskier sexual behavior as well as indulging in other addictions. People would rather be dependent and indulge on external factors instead of being told "no" or that things can do them harm. Then accuse people of shaming their lifestyle when matters of safety are brought up.
@@coolbreeze5683 Good points! I think it’s important to not shame - these days I am more so worried of friends who, indeed, can engage in quite risky behaviour and sometimes get burnt in the process. I get the sex positivity thing as well and am not saying it can’t occasionally work out beautifully, increase self confidence, create fun memories etc. But there are inconsiderate lovers who are only in it for themselves, rapists and stealthing, unwanted pregnancies and STDs even if you are careful, unmatching expactations of where the “relationship” is at or going to, different views on protection, women who use men to get pregnant and men who don’t care, substances, experience feeling bleh because of the lack of care and connection, inability to voice your needs, too much trust paired with dishonesty… I mean do I need to go on 😅 But then again if you are single it is not always your choice that you don’t have the same trustworthy sexual partner and I get that not everyone wants to go celibate.
Casual sex is so damaging for women, much more than for men. Having sex with lots of men damages women because of cortisol release after sex. Sex with too many men damages the ability to pair bond for women.
I agree. Since women are little they are pushed towards sexiness, than when they hit puberty they start to revival against each other for male attention. I always felt left behind, and than I had my "ho phase" - just to realize that casual sex is really shitty, people are not mature enough for this - especially hetero men. This opened - sexual vibe that is pushed lately always suggests that everyone around you is charismatic, sexy and attractive and also a good lover. But we don't live in a sex dungeon movie, it's not realistic. Most people need affection and connection to have good sex and that is not something you can CONSUME on the daily. I don't wanna fuck someone because we had a good conversation.
Always a pleasure to hear you both. Damon is a great guest, he is such a genuine and articulated person. I always relate to how he thinks outside of the box.
Underscoring Damon’s point on data measurement as a definition for success. Quantity of views can’t measure the depth of connection and experience someone has with your video. It’s always important for us to anchor ourselves in what success means to each of us and why we produce the work that we do. ♥️
Thank you for this! It’s so apparent that Damon has explored life and people and cultures that he has this great understanding and empathy for the human condition. It’s wild that the very simple ideas he brings up are considered “out there” in todays world if you haven’t taken the time to deconstruct it in your own mind and come to the conclusions that are right for yourself.
The convo on TH-cam and analytics really makes me think about how social media is designed to release endorphins to us when we get comments, likes, and mentions; and how ANALYTICS operate in a very similar sense to the more parasocial aspects of social media. At what point are analytics not as helpful as they are a tool for enticing creators to platforms?
People that can't be monogamous have no self control and true respect for their partner. I understand people who want multiple partners - just have to make your choice without hurting others.
Bang on mate. Polygamy is poisonous. People thinking sex is just sex is such a naive and shortsighted view. Sex is never just sex. It’s emotional, mental, psychological. It’s never ever ever just a physical expression.
It's only disrespectful if your partner minds. I don't care what my partner gets up to when they're not around me, I want them to live their best life as I will mine. You should spend time together because you want to, not because you feel obliged.
I love you guys! You guys are the best! You guys literally sound like the left and right side of my brain talking to each other in my head everyday. I love this!
coming back to finish this and that last point is so interesting, interesting to see the difference between nathan and damon’s opinions on it and how easy it is for some people to see a connection where others see a lack of it or see said connection as “settling”. I've had a nuuuumber of one night stands and i’ll be honest i have settled a couple times but i’ve come to the point where i realize that as soon as you start kissing, whether you‘ve said a word to each other or not, a connection either happens or doesn’t. you can kiss a stranger, look into their eyes and almost immediately see what they’re about and like, that’s a real thing to me. and i can appreciate that, while also having to seperate it from the heart and see it as nothing more than a simple connection with another human!
I listened to this whole thing while I photoshopped some images for my business and I had a great time listening your polarizing views. It's like you're representing the new age thoughts we're all having and sharing your intellectual curiosities within differing viewpoints in a respectful and expansive way. Thanks for sharing :)
This was a great pod…Nathaniel and Damon compliment eachother in conversation so nicely. Been following both for awhile. Lots of cool ex-pats in Paris. Hopefully there’s a part II!
I think there is a soul mate out there for each part of who we are the artist, the professional, the stoic, the dreamer ect. I also think it depends on the season we are in as well in our life
I love Damon and how fresh and free he dive in options. Conversations should be less about thinking about what others think and act, I mean is a good thing to observe, but always back to the self observation and talk from there, be honest about one self.. be to comparative is exhausting.
Damon has such a hedonistic view on sex and relationships. I don't agree with him at all on that one. It's like yeah "challenge the status quo." I can get behind stuff like saying "fuck" on tv or being frank about sex in casual discussions but let's not be animals and promote public orgies and polyamorous relationships. I mean structure and codes of behavior are kind of important. It's not just about running around doing whatever you want all the time. That kind of directionless hippie dippy lifestyle might work for him or flighty types who don't like boundaries but it can't work on a larger scale.
Yeah I agree with Nathaniel on that one. You don't crave Olive Garden after experiencing a beautiful authentic pasta in Rome. 😂 I think we also oversimplify the safety of casual sex in society. I used to work at a clinic and many of the patients that came in took precautions during casual sex but there were still pregnancy scares, infections (skin, mouth, genital), things our doctors couldn't clearly diagnose. All fun and games until you catch something, pass it on and it mutates into something else.
@@coolbreeze5683 I had this discussion with my friend (we're both Christian) and we discussed our journey to our sexual ethic. He brought up this point. Sex is glorified a lot but even with protection this could happen. I think realistically people are going to have sex but we need some sort of standard. Imo I don't want to be in that position, or in a position where I'm comparing partners to the one I love.
@@jowens197 yes, people are going to have sex but it's almost like an over-sexualization of society now. Instead of people feeling horny and having sex with a monogamous partner or pleasuring themselves, they feel obligated to hop on to Tinder or other hookup apps which makes it seem like ordering a pizza. Of course there were bars, clubs, prostitutes that existed long before this but casual sex was not blatantly pushed as much as it is now. The amount of depression, anxiety, loneliness and loss of excitement for the future felt by many these days probably stems from this overindulgence. This is on top of the health issues that can arise from having multiple partners.
@@coolbreeze5683 What I think is that people have the autonomy to do what they choose with their bodies, and people can disagree on morals and values. People are affected differently by different things. But I agree that there's pressure to have sex, and casual sex at that. As a man I've felt that pressure before. It's just weird to me when there are always risks to sex, even with protection. It's crazy to think it was pretty much the opposite a few generations ago.
Wow, that hour went by fast. Two of my best creative content creators having this meaningful and interesting convo. Great episode, Nathaniel! Damonnnnnnnn~~~~love you!
Thought-provoking and interesting. Someone in the comments above said, « left-brain having a conversation with right-brain »…and that seems a good description. For me, not only was my brain analyzing what was being said, but, also scrutinizing the men behind the words. Fascinating! Do we ever fully know ourselves? How often, over our lifetimes, do we watch our perception of ourself and of our world morph into new shapes. Gratitude to both these beings for sharing a freeze frame of themselves in this moment. Thank you!
I think humans can make it romantically work with a lot of other humans on this planet but everything hinges on RIGHT TIMING. if the timing is off, it's not going to work - but it could work several years down the road when youre both in alignment with a lot of things. People need to take more time to heal their inner child, to love themselves, and to set up their life in a way that theyd want to date themselves! If you dont want to date yourself, why would anyone else?
I think this perspective on relationships is incorrect for most people (although some rare individuals can navigate polyamory). We are also largely incapable of loving multiple people as our emotional bandwidth is finite - your relationships will inevitably be diluted by the fact that your attention and time are split. Sex is also hard to decouple with emotional attachment - jealousy is a natural response and it can derail a relationship regardless of rules and boundaries. Soul mates are made - there are plenty of people you can happily end up with, but you should work it out with just one.
I believe the future for content creators out there is more authenticity and vulnerability. If there's one thing Threads has taught me it's this. Both of you will be a valuable asset to humanity, haven't seen many creators who are not afraid to show their "humanness" and is always willing to listen. Cheers.
Damon, there is only one J M Basquiat and only one Andy Warhol. There are a lot of artists, but just a few become the art representatives of their era. I would recommend you spend some time on art history. It will give you an interesting perspective on the world. Maybe do some research on Felix Gonzalez Torres or Salman Toor.
Maybe that's part of why I'm so depressed. I'm the kind of person to only want 1 partner and I'm good. But it seems like the world is not giving me the option of finding something right for me anymore
Love you two & wish you'd do this or something similar (perhaps a version of wine talks) regularly as a series because oooooh you both touched on so many great topics!! Myself and my girlfriends have had similar chats about love/sex/marriage and largely agreed. Perhaps our generation will come to redefine these things going forward. Loved this and love you both! Thanks for sharing.
Oh I have been waiting for this conversation. Thank you for letting us be present for this. (L) PS: I could have listened it for several more hours (L)
For a woman to separate sex with love is very different because on a biological level it's a higher risk for women to get pregnant then if in the wild they got left it would be a huge danger for mother and baby. I feel it is important for women even if only on a deep primal level to feel safe with the man and love could be a reason why a man would stay with a woman to protect, provide for the family. Obviously now there is a big fast change with birth control but I believe our psychology and survival instincts wouldn't have caught up that fast.
I think modern TH-camr’s are more fearful of metrics, and way less connected to the audience. The reason that Damon is a better TH-camr than most, is because he’s aware of OUR needs. Being a TH-camr for profit is about connecting and providing value to a audience static or not. It’s not about your ego. Yes there is a sense of personal style. But it becomes really obvious when a TH-camr enters an echo chamber. It’s the American psycho stare. If you’re afraid of your channel dying, connect with your viewers, not with the lifestyle that TH-cam creates for you. It’s not about us being right, it’s about us being entertained or educated. That’s the distillation of TH-cam and tbh Damon does both, and that’s uncommon.
I struggle with the concept of "as soon as people start doing it I lose interest in it" like I'm so original I couldn't possibly be seen doing something that is now on trend. There is something beautiful in sharing inspiration and others taking inspiration from you. Totally don't agree with full on copying or stealing your work but I feel like artists can be a bit precious with this
I think for women biologically it is more difficult to separate sex and love-evolutionarily after sex with a person there was a potential that you were now co-parents to an unborn child. Thus, to ensure that the unborn child receives enough nurturance and resources from two parents, women's bodies release tons of oxytocin: A powerful feeling of attachment and desire for closeness arises to motivate that woman to pursue a pair-bond with the potential father. Although the modern context of our romantic and sexual lives are different, biological forces are still quite powerful. Emotionally and physiologically (it's a little silly even to distinguish the two since our bodymind is one after all) the risk still exists, and separating the two requires a little bit more than contemplating one's values or making a semantic distinction. For women, sex is also a battleground of sorts. Either territory to the "reclaimed" as one's own, or territory where one is exploited. Sometimes it can be difficult to distinguish whether we're empowered or not-liberal, conservative, positive or negative, monogamous or not, there are always external forces on both ends of the spectrum, so that neither choice feels completely "free". And of course, as Damon mentioned it's simply a pleasurable & ubiquitous part of the human experience that fulfills what we desire from it-whether that's a void within ourselves (sex from a place of deprivation or disempowerment) or for the act itself and its pleasures (from a place of freedom and independence).
Let me just put it out there, that there are women (me) who can also separate love and sex. I'm no stranger to the fact that living your life according to that ethic as a woman comes with more challenges - social pressure and stigma, predatory behavior, potentially unsafe situations, risk of pregnancy - but I wish it weren't that way, because I personally fully agree with Damon. Don't get me wrong, sex and love *can* coincide, and that can feel amazing, but for me personally they do not always, and those encounters where one comes without the other can be equally as fulfilling.
Amazing video! It made me think that maybe all these people that copy others are just lost. They don't know themselves, therefore, can't show the world who they are
What's so interesting about TH-camrs is that they act like you can just move to any country you want. So pretentious. Not everyone has a fully remote, entrepreneurial, and independent job. Not to mention visa and citizenship restrictions, plus language and cost barriers.
Damon and Nathaniel have interesting content on youtube but I have to admit, they are both extremely pretentious. Acting as if "anybody can just pick up and go where ever they want." Damon promotes that sort of wreckless, directionless, hippie life and marketing it as "just challenging the status quo." and Nathaniel's channel is full of where he just talks to hear himself talk and sound smart when he essentially discussed nothing.
Of course not everyone, they worked and made some brave choices to achieve what they wanted to do. Not everyone has the balls that they have. Now, what you should ask yourself should be : "how do I feel in my life currently and am I ok with what I implemented to feel proud of myself so far ?" And then, kick yourself hard in the ass, suck it up and go. Life is certainly unfair but nothing has never been done by whining
@@Mynys67 that assumes everyone even has the freedom to just get up and go. Peoples lives are not all black or white. There are unique situations each person has. Some making it quite literally impossible to go live some fantasy european nomadic life. The target audience of these channels are for 20 something singles with no moral compass or will to commit to anything.
Oh I really miss the redwine talks! And yeah, the reason why Dominique is so unique, is because he is not trying to create a mainstream thing for likes, he just creates his own visuals - and people are drawn to originality. And Drew is the same in this case :)
A few responses to questions posed in this video (I love that these podcasts make me think about my own identity so much): 1. With soulmates, that doesn't exist. There is a great quote from F. Scott Fitzgerald about how there are many loves in the world, but never the same love twice. Each person you're with teaches you a different lesson in the journey of life. You may regret a relationship, but you always gained an immeasurable lesson. The purpose of a relationship is companionship and growth. 2. Weddings are such a scam. Marriage may or may not be, depending on your values. It is highly beneficial for people with children. However, it is hard to find somebody who genuinely shares the same values and future. The less traditional your life becomes, the harder it is to find this alignment. But marriages work in ultra-traditional societies for a reason (and as a woman, I am certainly not talking about societies that pressure people to stay married even in the midst of abuse). 3. Yes, for women it is much harder to separate sex and love. Even if you try to just have sex without the love, women get chemically attached. This is a researched phenomenon. Biologically, male monkeys are designed to keep packs of many women that they rule over. Therefore, it is difficult for biology to allow men to get attached to just one woman for sex. That is biological anthropology 101.
I think Soul Mates is not some pre-destined person that you are set to get along with. Soul Mates are just like any other relationship, you both build on it with conversation and trust. You might get along with someone when you first meet them. But it will take time to establish the soul mate level of a relationship
2 of my favourite people . My other is purple palace and Jay Swanson if I got his name right. I have been followinh ya all for years. You are so unique in a very special way and you rock this world . Keep going you all so inspiring. 🎉🎉🎉
I haven't listened to such an open conversation in a while. The conversation flowed so well that I felt like I was in the room with them! Thank you for letting me be a little fly on the wall! 🪰
17:33 The world is so heavy, it’s so intense out there. So I just wanna create something that feels good, that can lighten the mood for a second- Damon Dominique
I shouldnt but I laughed so hard at Damon describing the tornado warning sound alert 😂 I grew up my entire life in the West Coast and we definitely don’t have tornadoes but we get that sound alert for hurricanes, earthquakes, or amber alerts 😭
Great episode Nathaniel and Damon! Love to hear some great discussions. While thinking about things like relationships and sex it’s also important to not erase the experience of people that are asexual and/or aromantic. It’s also great to not set so much into the gender binary. Opening this up and seeing everyone as one and everything as a spectrum is also a great way to remain open minded and accepting of all experiences.
Someone once wrote that for women, intimacy is a necessary precursor of sex, whereas for men it's the other way around - a huge generalization of course, but there is a grain of truth to it. I think there are obvious biological and evolutionary reasons why women are generally more cautious in their approach to 'casual' sex than men, and these tendencies have become ingrained as social behaviours. The dynamic that leads to sex between men is therefore very different to the one that exists between men and women. I am assuming that Nathaniel is straight, and that alone might be determinative of his more cautious attitude to sex than Damon's. The notion of open relationships is much more common among gay couples than straight couples, so much so that it is almost an assumption amongst gay men that a monogamous sexual relationship is all but impossible in a modern urban context. And yet, and yet, the difficulties of maintaining an open relationship are frequently underestimated. It takes a lot of maturity, trust and self-confidence to be comfortable with the idea of one's partner seeking intimacy outside of the relationship, while jealousy can be a very toxic emotion to introduce into a relationship. If sex is not the 'special' or sacred ingredient in a relationship, then what is it that makes you more than just flatmates or whatever? Some couples manage it for the long term, but not that many. Even Damon, as well travelled and sexually confident as he is knows something about this, surely, in his persistent yearnings for his 'ex'. That said, I think the idea that we must find one person with whom we are sexually, domestically, intellectually, and psychologically compatible for the rest of our lives is quite a tall order. And there is no guarantee in our atomized modern lives that it's going to happen to all of us! Congratulations to those for whom it does happen, but for many of us, romantic relationships may be transient. Nevertheless we all need caring and supportive relationships in our lives, in whatever form they might come in, whether sexual or platonic. It's good to have people that you love in your life.
I think people also extremely underestimate the value and rarity of a good person, a decent kind, loving, loyal person. If you are fortunate to find someone like that, you owe them that devotion, the purpose of life isn’t to have all the sex you want, it’s about having profound, deep, challenging, relationships, and non monogamy prevents that. True love is sacrificial to the self, to love is to love others more than you love yourself.
I agree with Demon about having a connection even from an accounted in a club, it’s actually the proper of connection. It can be as quick as that, but it’s still a connection. But I get what Nat wanna say and he might no be that open in this field, night field lol love you both
Interesting take on NFTs. I definitely think it is going to be a utility for all people to call back to the origins of original works. It’s also going to be a way for us to better interact with our audiences by building in a personal element into a digital contract. Think patreon with irl community benefits
Tbh i don't like the idea of being locked onto one person. It sounds romantic (which makes it plague my imagination because im a bit of a romantic myself), but in reality it seems like most people actually like multiple people all the time. They try (really poorly) to pretend that they only like one person, but its not real. The people who are good at being monogamous tend to do so with jealousy, which seems like an obscene emotion to hold a person hostage to. I'm not saying it _is_ bad, but it just _seems_ bad to me. There are people who become obsessed with one person or who have an incredibly low sex drive, or feel like sex is gross tho, so ig monogamy can work for them. Same as Nathaniel, my parents are still in love and my grandparents where faithful to the end (my grandad died), and it seems so cute. As for love and sex, i can't have an encounter with someone without loving them. But maybe i just see love differently from others. I don’t think love is obsession. I think it's genuine care for another. And in a sexual sense, you just add the chemistry. Maybe I'm demisexual, but it just feels right to me to exclusively have sex with people you love. Sex without love seems like just using people. Again, it might be because of how i think of what love is, but that's what i feel. End of the day, i never want to get married, but i might be exclusive depending on if i think a girl is too good to let go because her deal breaker is that she wants to be exclusive. Rn I'd prefer to just have a best friend with no expectations, just vibes. Again, i do sometimes whimsically daydream about romanticised exclusivity with a special someone. It's intoxicating 😅 Another thing that enforces monogamy is slut shaming and shaming guys as cucks if they "let" "their" girl encounter others.
THINK FOR YOURSELVES PEOPLE! CHALLENGE THE STATUS QUO! HEY WAIT! WHAT ARE YOU- WAIII- *gets escorted off stage by security
Ladies and gentlemen, that's Damon Dominique!! - *crowd cheers loudly
😂
😂
Damon is just such an undeniably likeable person. He could do anything and I would watch it.
He is funny and engaging. I subscribed for a whole but life's too short to watch all that TH-cam. I LL watch this one later
It hit hard when Damon said people who figure out what they want and leave their relationships should also be celebrated. I'm going through a divorce now and most people we know have not reacted well to me - like unless I have been having an affair or some other big reason, just admitting that we have both changed and haven't grown in the same direction isn't a valid enough reason to leave. I would rather have figured this out after 9 years of marriage than after 20 years.
I think Nathaniel was really getting to something about sex that this other guy totally dismissed. I had a huge revelation lately that the majority of my self-worth my entire adult life has come from whether or not men want to sleep with me. This epiphany has totally turned me off of sex in recent months. Sex is a very convoluted subject for many people.
My 2 favourite Americans in Paris having a conversation
And, there, my people, goes the title to this series we knew we needed 🎉
When Damon smiles or laughs, he tends to look down or away from.. it’s almost like he catches the smiles and pulls it towards himself
I'd really love to see The Purple Palace here. She's an American living in France too.
Absolutely loving this episode! The topics are so diverse and I'm hooked from the very beginning on! Probably your best podcast, Nathan! The conversation was flowing so effortlessly 🤩
I'm so attracted to Damon's mindset & perspective on life. Great episode!
It definitely seemed that Nathaniel was scared or reluctant to either share his views and/or oppose Damon. I feel like he held back to avoid a potential conflict or confrontation. Kinda felt a little cowardice I think.
agree
Definitely didn't seem so
I love the content from both of you and am also a global citizen, so really enjoyed listening some like minded people. :) But recently I’ve tapped into more traditional viewpoints that resonate a lot. So I have to disagree with Damon about the sex things - I used to think like him but I think the societal push for casual sex is a scam (perhaps more for women than men) and it almost seems like Nathaniel is feeling that pressure. People do not always act responsibly and even if they do there are so many people out there with lack of communication skills, boundaries, and sometimes with pure bad intentions that I feel like hopping onto the casual sex trend often takes more than it gives, leaving people with all kinds of shit to take care of. There is also this spiritual idea of soul ties that’s interesting, that you create these ties with all these people you’ve been intimate with and sometimes they don’t get properly cut.
I agree... it does have that element of "scam". The age old saying "sex sells" is truth because industries directly and indirectly profit off of it the same way the industries around refined sugar are about profit.
People also have more of a tendency these days to look at external things to solve their problems or make them happy. If they're numb, depressed or hurting emotionally, they try to do anything to make them feel something, leading to more and more riskier sexual behavior as well as indulging in other addictions.
People would rather be dependent and indulge on external factors instead of being told "no" or that things can do them harm. Then accuse people of shaming their lifestyle when matters of safety are brought up.
@@coolbreeze5683 Good points! I think it’s important to not shame - these days I am more so worried of friends who, indeed, can engage in quite risky behaviour and sometimes get burnt in the process. I get the sex positivity thing as well and am not saying it can’t occasionally work out beautifully, increase self confidence, create fun memories etc. But there are inconsiderate lovers who are only in it for themselves, rapists and stealthing, unwanted pregnancies and STDs even if you are careful, unmatching expactations of where the “relationship” is at or going to, different views on protection, women who use men to get pregnant and men who don’t care, substances, experience feeling bleh because of the lack of care and connection, inability to voice your needs, too much trust paired with dishonesty… I mean do I need to go on 😅 But then again if you are single it is not always your choice that you don’t have the same trustworthy sexual partner and I get that not everyone wants to go celibate.
Casual sex is so damaging for women, much more than for men. Having sex with lots of men damages women because of cortisol release after sex. Sex with too many men damages the ability to pair bond for women.
I agree. Since women are little they are pushed towards sexiness, than when they hit puberty they start to revival against each other for male attention. I always felt left behind, and than I had my "ho phase" - just to realize that casual sex is really shitty, people are not mature enough for this - especially hetero men. This opened - sexual vibe that is pushed lately always suggests that everyone around you is charismatic, sexy and attractive and also a good lover. But we don't live in a sex dungeon movie, it's not realistic. Most people need affection and connection to have good sex and that is not something you can CONSUME on the daily. I don't wanna fuck someone because we had a good conversation.
That's a shitty christian study. There are many hormones we produce on occasions and they don't destroy us. @@sammacc4751
Always a pleasure to hear you both. Damon is a great guest, he is such a genuine and articulated person. I always relate to how he thinks outside of the box.
Underscoring Damon’s point on data measurement as a definition for success. Quantity of views can’t measure the depth of connection and experience someone has with your video. It’s always important for us to anchor ourselves in what success means to each of us and why we produce the work that we do. ♥️
Damon! Please do the Red Wine Talks again. I loved that series
Thank you for this! It’s so apparent that Damon has explored life and people and cultures that he has this great understanding and empathy for the human condition. It’s wild that the very simple ideas he brings up are considered “out there” in todays world if you haven’t taken the time to deconstruct it in your own mind and come to the conclusions that are right for yourself.
The convo on TH-cam and analytics really makes me think about how social media is designed to release endorphins to us when we get comments, likes, and mentions; and how ANALYTICS operate in a very similar sense to the more parasocial aspects of social media. At what point are analytics not as helpful as they are a tool for enticing creators to platforms?
Love this episode! Damon is a gem filled with so much knowledge 💛
People that can't be monogamous have no self control and true respect for their partner. I understand people who want multiple partners - just have to make your choice without hurting others.
Bang on mate. Polygamy is poisonous. People thinking sex is just sex is such a naive and shortsighted view. Sex is never just sex. It’s emotional, mental, psychological. It’s never ever ever just a physical expression.
It's only disrespectful if your partner minds. I don't care what my partner gets up to when they're not around me, I want them to live their best life as I will mine. You should spend time together because you want to, not because you feel obliged.
@@valq10
Two fem guys do not make a relationship, boo.
I love you guys! You guys are the best! You guys literally sound like the left and right side of my brain talking to each other in my head everyday. I love this!
coming back to finish this and that last point is so interesting, interesting to see the difference between nathan and damon’s opinions on it and how easy it is for some people to see a connection where others see a lack of it or see said connection as “settling”. I've had a nuuuumber of one night stands and i’ll be honest i have settled a couple times but i’ve come to the point where i realize that as soon as you start kissing, whether you‘ve said a word to each other or not, a connection either happens or doesn’t. you can kiss a stranger, look into their eyes and almost immediately see what they’re about and like, that’s a real thing to me. and i can appreciate that, while also having to seperate it from the heart and see it as nothing more than a simple connection with another human!
I listened to this whole thing while I photoshopped some images for my business and I had a great time listening your polarizing views. It's like you're representing the new age thoughts we're all having and sharing your intellectual curiosities within differing viewpoints in a respectful and expansive way. Thanks for sharing :)
Damon is always so intelligent that can bring up some radical and new ideas
I haven’t even started this but I’m getting chills. Damon freaking Dominique, y’all 😊
This was a great pod…Nathaniel and Damon compliment eachother in conversation so nicely. Been following both for awhile. Lots of cool ex-pats in Paris. Hopefully there’s a part II!
I think there is a soul mate out there for each part of who we are the artist, the professional, the stoic, the dreamer ect. I also think it depends on the season we are in as well in our life
I love Damon and how fresh and free he dive in options.
Conversations should be less about thinking about what others think and act, I mean is a good thing to observe, but always back to the self observation and talk from there, be honest about one self.. be to comparative is exhausting.
Damon has such a hedonistic view on sex and relationships. I don't agree with him at all on that one.
It's like yeah "challenge the status quo." I can get behind stuff like saying "fuck" on tv or being frank about sex in casual discussions but let's not be animals and promote public orgies and polyamorous relationships. I mean structure and codes of behavior are kind of important. It's not just about running around doing whatever you want all the time. That kind of directionless hippie dippy lifestyle might work for him or flighty types who don't like boundaries but it can't work on a larger scale.
I don't agree either
Yeah I agree with Nathaniel on that one. You don't crave Olive Garden after experiencing a beautiful authentic pasta in Rome. 😂
I think we also oversimplify the safety of casual sex in society. I used to work at a clinic and many of the patients that came in took precautions during casual sex but there were still pregnancy scares, infections (skin, mouth, genital), things our doctors couldn't clearly diagnose. All fun and games until you catch something, pass it on and it mutates into something else.
@@coolbreeze5683 I had this discussion with my friend (we're both Christian) and we discussed our journey to our sexual ethic. He brought up this point. Sex is glorified a lot but even with protection this could happen. I think realistically people are going to have sex but we need some sort of standard.
Imo I don't want to be in that position, or in a position where I'm comparing partners to the one I love.
@@jowens197 yes, people are going to have sex but it's almost like an over-sexualization of society now.
Instead of people feeling horny and having sex with a monogamous partner or pleasuring themselves, they feel obligated to hop on to Tinder or other hookup apps which makes it seem like ordering a pizza.
Of course there were bars, clubs, prostitutes that existed long before this but casual sex was not blatantly pushed as much as it is now.
The amount of depression, anxiety, loneliness and loss of excitement for the future felt by many these days probably stems from this overindulgence. This is on top of the health issues that can arise from having multiple partners.
@@coolbreeze5683 What I think is that people have the autonomy to do what they choose with their bodies, and people can disagree on morals and values. People are affected differently by different things. But I agree that there's pressure to have sex, and casual sex at that. As a man I've felt that pressure before. It's just weird to me when there are always risks to sex, even with protection. It's crazy to think it was pretty much the opposite a few generations ago.
Wow, that hour went by fast. Two of my best creative content creators having this meaningful and interesting convo. Great episode, Nathaniel! Damonnnnnnnn~~~~love you!
The duo I never knew I needed. Excited to watch this.
Thought-provoking and interesting. Someone in the comments above said, « left-brain having a conversation with right-brain »…and that seems a good description. For me, not only was my brain analyzing what was being said, but, also scrutinizing the men behind the words. Fascinating! Do we ever fully know ourselves? How often, over our lifetimes, do we watch our perception of ourself and of our world morph into new shapes. Gratitude to both these beings for sharing a freeze frame of themselves in this moment. Thank you!
Can't wait to watch this! I have been following Damon Dominique for years
I think humans can make it romantically work with a lot of other humans on this planet but everything hinges on RIGHT TIMING. if the timing is off, it's not going to work - but it could work several years down the road when youre both in alignment with a lot of things. People need to take more time to heal their inner child, to love themselves, and to set up their life in a way that theyd want to date themselves! If you dont want to date yourself, why would anyone else?
2 of my favorite TH-camrs!!!! My day has literally been blessed!
I think this perspective on relationships is incorrect for most people (although some rare individuals can navigate polyamory). We are also largely incapable of loving multiple people as our emotional bandwidth is finite - your relationships will inevitably be diluted by the fact that your attention and time are split. Sex is also hard to decouple with emotional attachment - jealousy is a natural response and it can derail a relationship regardless of rules and boundaries.
Soul mates are made - there are plenty of people you can happily end up with, but you should work it out with just one.
I believe the future for content creators out there is more authenticity and vulnerability. If there's one thing Threads has taught me it's this. Both of you will be a valuable asset to humanity, haven't seen many creators who are not afraid to show their "humanness" and is always willing to listen. Cheers.
th-cam.com/video/gbDunxRfbgg/w-d-xo.html :)
Damon, there is only one J M Basquiat and only one Andy Warhol. There are a lot of artists, but just a few become the art representatives of their era. I would recommend you spend some time on art history. It will give you an interesting perspective on the world. Maybe do some research on Felix Gonzalez Torres or Salman Toor.
Man, i never ever get enough of this colab. Please, please colab more often. MOREE!! 😁
Maybe that's part of why I'm so depressed. I'm the kind of person to only want 1 partner and I'm good. But it seems like the world is not giving me the option of finding something right for me anymore
Love you two & wish you'd do this or something similar (perhaps a version of wine talks) regularly as a series because oooooh you both touched on so many great topics!! Myself and my girlfriends have had similar chats about love/sex/marriage and largely agreed. Perhaps our generation will come to redefine these things going forward.
Loved this and love you both! Thanks for sharing.
Oh I have been waiting for this conversation. Thank you for letting us be present for this. (L) PS: I could have listened it for several more hours (L)
For a woman to separate sex with love is very different because on a biological level it's a higher risk for women to get pregnant then if in the wild they got left it would be a huge danger for mother and baby. I feel it is important for women even if only on a deep primal level to feel safe with the man and love could be a reason why a man would stay with a woman to protect, provide for the family. Obviously now there is a big fast change with birth control but I believe our psychology and survival instincts wouldn't have caught up that fast.
this is the crossover we didn’t know we needed!
I think modern TH-camr’s are more fearful of metrics, and way less connected to the audience. The reason that Damon is a better TH-camr than most, is because he’s aware of OUR needs. Being a TH-camr for profit is about connecting and providing value to a audience static or not. It’s not about your ego. Yes there is a sense of personal style. But it becomes really obvious when a TH-camr enters an echo chamber. It’s the American psycho stare. If you’re afraid of your channel dying, connect with your viewers, not with the lifestyle that TH-cam creates for you. It’s not about us being right, it’s about us being entertained or educated. That’s the distillation of TH-cam and tbh Damon does both, and that’s uncommon.
This was really insightful - glad it popped up 6 months later 😆
I struggle with the concept of "as soon as people start doing it I lose interest in it" like I'm so original I couldn't possibly be seen doing something that is now on trend. There is something beautiful in sharing inspiration and others taking inspiration from you. Totally don't agree with full on copying or stealing your work but I feel like artists can be a bit precious with this
This is going to be a great hour and fifteen minutes, I don't even have to start watching for it to be clear!
I think for women biologically it is more difficult to separate sex and love-evolutionarily after sex with a person there was a potential that you were now co-parents to an unborn child. Thus, to ensure that the unborn child receives enough nurturance and resources from two parents, women's bodies release tons of oxytocin: A powerful feeling of attachment and desire for closeness arises to motivate that woman to pursue a pair-bond with the potential father.
Although the modern context of our romantic and sexual lives are different, biological forces are still quite powerful. Emotionally and physiologically (it's a little silly even to distinguish the two since our bodymind is one after all) the risk still exists, and separating the two requires a little bit more than contemplating one's values or making a semantic distinction.
For women, sex is also a battleground of sorts. Either territory to the "reclaimed" as one's own, or territory where one is exploited. Sometimes it can be difficult to distinguish whether we're empowered or not-liberal, conservative, positive or negative, monogamous or not, there are always external forces on both ends of the spectrum, so that neither choice feels completely "free". And of course, as Damon mentioned it's simply a pleasurable & ubiquitous part of the human experience that fulfills what we desire from it-whether that's a void within ourselves (sex from a place of deprivation or disempowerment) or for the act itself and its pleasures (from a place of freedom and independence).
Loved this episode!!! My favorite TH-camrs ♥️♥️ I just learnt that you’re fellow Libras as well, slaaay ✨✨✨🍭🍭🍭
I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAASSSS!!!!!!!!!!
Let me just put it out there, that there are women (me) who can also separate love and sex. I'm no stranger to the fact that living your life according to that ethic as a woman comes with more challenges - social pressure and stigma, predatory behavior, potentially unsafe situations, risk of pregnancy - but I wish it weren't that way, because I personally fully agree with Damon. Don't get me wrong, sex and love *can* coincide, and that can feel amazing, but for me personally they do not always, and those encounters where one comes without the other can be equally as fulfilling.
Amazing video!
It made me think that maybe all these people that copy others are just lost. They don't know themselves, therefore, can't show the world who they are
« It’s Damon Dominique’s Paris » I love that! ❤
My two favorites exchanging ideas. Love it!
My two favorite international brains collected together!
Amazing @
Who copied him again?
Ahhh this is the collab we've been waiting for!!!
You should interview The Purple Palace (Shaynee), artist who lives in Paris and vlogs. Also if you could get Isabel Paige that would be so cool too
This video made me love Damon even more 😩
What's so interesting about TH-camrs is that they act like you can just move to any country you want. So pretentious. Not everyone has a fully remote, entrepreneurial, and independent job. Not to mention visa and citizenship restrictions, plus language and cost barriers.
Damon and Nathaniel have interesting content on youtube but I have to admit, they are both extremely pretentious. Acting as if "anybody can just pick up and go where ever they want." Damon promotes that sort of wreckless, directionless, hippie life and marketing it as "just challenging the status quo." and Nathaniel's channel is full of where he just talks to hear himself talk and sound smart when he essentially discussed nothing.
Have you listened to the podcast? They addressed the fact that society isnt built to allow people to travel freely?
Of course not everyone, they worked and made some brave choices to achieve what they wanted to do. Not everyone has the balls that they have. Now, what you should ask yourself should be : "how do I feel in my life currently and am I ok with what I implemented to feel proud of myself so far ?" And then, kick yourself hard in the ass, suck it up and go. Life is certainly unfair but nothing has never been done by whining
@@Mynys67 that assumes everyone even has the freedom to just get up and go. Peoples lives are not all black or white. There are unique situations each person has. Some making it quite literally impossible to go live some fantasy european nomadic life. The target audience of these channels are for 20 something singles with no moral compass or will to commit to anything.
Why I didn’t know about Damon before? 🥰 definitely this was a super interesting conversation ❤
I have been waiting for you guys to collab again.... love both of your channels. Looking forward to watching this one!
Wait who was the copycat youtuber
This was a great conversation, start to finish!
Oh I really miss the redwine talks! And yeah, the reason why Dominique is so unique, is because he is not trying to create a mainstream thing for likes, he just creates his own visuals - and people are drawn to originality. And Drew is the same in this case :)
Home is not about the walls, It's about the community and family. That's why people don't leave and it's totally okay.
So good seeing the interaction between two of my favorite content creators in my favorite city other than my own..
A few responses to questions posed in this video (I love that these podcasts make me think about my own identity so much):
1. With soulmates, that doesn't exist. There is a great quote from F. Scott Fitzgerald about how there are many loves in the world, but never the same love twice. Each person you're with teaches you a different lesson in the journey of life. You may regret a relationship, but you always gained an immeasurable lesson. The purpose of a relationship is companionship and growth.
2. Weddings are such a scam. Marriage may or may not be, depending on your values. It is highly beneficial for people with children. However, it is hard to find somebody who genuinely shares the same values and future. The less traditional your life becomes, the harder it is to find this alignment. But marriages work in ultra-traditional societies for a reason (and as a woman, I am certainly not talking about societies that pressure people to stay married even in the midst of abuse).
3. Yes, for women it is much harder to separate sex and love. Even if you try to just have sex without the love, women get chemically attached. This is a researched phenomenon. Biologically, male monkeys are designed to keep packs of many women that they rule over. Therefore, it is difficult for biology to allow men to get attached to just one woman for sex. That is biological anthropology 101.
Ive loved the 2 of u for so looooong. Im so happy
I celebrated 18 years with my soulmate this week. I must have missed a meeting🤷♂️
the last 30 minutes were pure GOLD
When I tell you I am SO EXCITED FOR THIS !!!!
I think Soul Mates is not some pre-destined person that you are set to get along with. Soul Mates are just like any other relationship, you both build on it with conversation and trust. You might get along with someone when you first meet them. But it will take time to establish the soul mate level of a relationship
2 of my favourite people . My other is purple palace and Jay Swanson if I got his name right. I have been followinh ya all for years. You are so unique in a very special way and you rock this world . Keep going you all so inspiring. 🎉🎉🎉
screamed when this came out soooo excited to listen
I haven't listened to such an open conversation in a while. The conversation flowed so well that I felt like I was in the room with them! Thank you for letting me be a little fly on the wall! 🪰
I love Damon so much omg I could listen to him for days
Really loved this conversation :)
17:33 The world is so heavy, it’s so intense out there. So I just wanna create something that feels good, that can lighten the mood for a second- Damon Dominique
WE LOVE YOU DAMON!
i was WAIIIITIIINGGG FOR THIS CHAPTER!
Highly recommend the book Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel.
Great conversation ❤️
WHO STOLE the thumbnail??¿.
dream podcast guest 🤩
I shouldnt but I laughed so hard at Damon describing the tornado warning sound alert 😂 I grew up my entire life in the West Coast and we definitely don’t have tornadoes but we get that sound alert for hurricanes, earthquakes, or amber alerts 😭
another amazing interview... thank you both so much!
Great episode Nathaniel and Damon! Love to hear some great discussions. While thinking about things like relationships and sex it’s also important to not erase the experience of people that are asexual and/or aromantic. It’s also great to not set so much into the gender binary. Opening this up and seeing everyone as one and everything as a spectrum is also a great way to remain open minded and accepting of all experiences.
Someone once wrote that for women, intimacy is a necessary precursor of sex, whereas for men it's the other way around - a huge generalization of course, but there is a grain of truth to it. I think there are obvious biological and evolutionary reasons why women are generally more cautious in their approach to 'casual' sex than men, and these tendencies have become ingrained as social behaviours. The dynamic that leads to sex between men is therefore very different to the one that exists between men and women. I am assuming that Nathaniel is straight, and that alone might be determinative of his more cautious attitude to sex than Damon's. The notion of open relationships is much more common among gay couples than straight couples, so much so that it is almost an assumption amongst gay men that a monogamous sexual relationship is all but impossible in a modern urban context. And yet, and yet, the difficulties of maintaining an open relationship are frequently underestimated. It takes a lot of maturity, trust and self-confidence to be comfortable with the idea of one's partner seeking intimacy outside of the relationship, while jealousy can be a very toxic emotion to introduce into a relationship. If sex is not the 'special' or sacred ingredient in a relationship, then what is it that makes you more than just flatmates or whatever? Some couples manage it for the long term, but not that many. Even Damon, as well travelled and sexually confident as he is knows something about this, surely, in his persistent yearnings for his 'ex'. That said, I think the idea that we must find one person with whom we are sexually, domestically, intellectually, and psychologically compatible for the rest of our lives is quite a tall order. And there is no guarantee in our atomized modern lives that it's going to happen to all of us! Congratulations to those for whom it does happen, but for many of us, romantic relationships may be transient. Nevertheless we all need caring and supportive relationships in our lives, in whatever form they might come in, whether sexual or platonic. It's good to have people that you love in your life.
i love this cross over
i loveeeee Damon and everything he does. been a fan for a long time! v refreshing, inspiring ideas
I hate to say "good enough" but it's true. Find someone you love and hold them close.
I think people also extremely underestimate the value and rarity of a good person, a decent kind, loving, loyal person. If you are fortunate to find someone like that, you owe them that devotion, the purpose of life isn’t to have all the sex you want, it’s about having profound, deep, challenging, relationships, and non monogamy prevents that. True love is sacrificial to the self, to love is to love others more than you love yourself.
my favorite 2 internet personas !
Love this conversation! Amazing to hear Damon's story and your sharing your experiences. Brilliant!
I agree with Demon about having a connection even from an accounted in a club, it’s actually the proper of connection. It can be as quick as that, but it’s still a connection. But I get what Nat wanna say and he might no be that open in this field, night field lol love you both
Man sorry my English is trash putain lol
that introduction is very lex fridman-like...almost identical
Interesting take on NFTs. I definitely think it is going to be a utility for all people to call back to the origins of original works. It’s also going to be a way for us to better interact with our audiences by building in a personal element into a digital contract. Think patreon with irl community benefits
Here for Damon always 🥹
20:00 Adobe now is announcing new software to save the artwork called content credentials 🎉
I was waiting for you to have Damon on ❤
Tbh i don't like the idea of being locked onto one person. It sounds romantic (which makes it plague my imagination because im a bit of a romantic myself), but in reality it seems like most people actually like multiple people all the time. They try (really poorly) to pretend that they only like one person, but its not real. The people who are good at being monogamous tend to do so with jealousy, which seems like an obscene emotion to hold a person hostage to. I'm not saying it _is_ bad, but it just _seems_ bad to me. There are people who become obsessed with one person or who have an incredibly low sex drive, or feel like sex is gross tho, so ig monogamy can work for them.
Same as Nathaniel, my parents are still in love and my grandparents where faithful to the end (my grandad died), and it seems so cute.
As for love and sex, i can't have an encounter with someone without loving them. But maybe i just see love differently from others. I don’t think love is obsession. I think it's genuine care for another. And in a sexual sense, you just add the chemistry. Maybe I'm demisexual, but it just feels right to me to exclusively have sex with people you love. Sex without love seems like just using people. Again, it might be because of how i think of what love is, but that's what i feel.
End of the day, i never want to get married, but i might be exclusive depending on if i think a girl is too good to let go because her deal breaker is that she wants to be exclusive. Rn I'd prefer to just have a best friend with no expectations, just vibes. Again, i do sometimes whimsically daydream about romanticised exclusivity with a special someone. It's intoxicating 😅
Another thing that enforces monogamy is slut shaming and shaming guys as cucks if they "let" "their" girl encounter others.