This is definitely my friend. He's in a relationship with a VERY controlling wife 1) He's not allowed to see friends unless he gets permission 2) Gets calls from her multiple times a day asking where's he at 3) He's not allowed to hangout with friends on weekends at all - even though they just sit at home all day 4) She tells him how to do everything 5) He's an introvert - she told him when he talks to her he has to act very outgoing (and you can tell its forced) 6) He tried breaking up with her 3 different times in a year, and she told him they were getting married no matter what
Wow!!! What an eye opener for me. Ive been under control from childhood up to now and I am now 59. Listening to this video made me realize, Lord willing, I don't want to live out the rest of my life being controlled. Im better off being alone with God, my sons, and a few friends (non controlling ones). Time to seek help and make a plan. Thanks for sharing Kristen. Love and many blessings to you. 🙏🏽❤🙏🏽
My hubby controls the money, is critical and moaning all the time and constantly wants my attention when he isn’t doing things for himself like social activities etc. I’ve felt all consumed for years and until recently I realised that I had completely lost my sense of identity. I was afraid of everything and running myself ragged to please him. To the point where I had a stroke. He is also confusingly very loving at times. But even then it’s because he is trying to suck to love out of me when I don’t have any love left for him. Because he doesn’t give me the space to have any time for myself. He appears to be listening and supportive but it seems more like he is judging. He has met all but 1 of my friends. These other friends are not longer in my life. The last friend he is now pushing to meet but I won’t allow it. I need to have some friends and a life for myself. I’m now building a life and my health for myself. I sleep in a separate room and I am changing my sleep habits to be an early riser. That means I get time for myself. I’ve chosen not to share any more stuff with him and I’m rebuilding my life and health to a point where I feel I have the freedom to choose whether I leave or not. He also wants to eat all my food and wants to consume everything I have. Even when I take a photo of something he will take the same shot and copy me. He gets recognition for things I’ve done. I only realised it recently that I am in a controlling marriage with a man who has no time for me unless it’s something he wants too. I’m tired of being criticised, invalidated, dismissed and controlled. I’m now awake!
I don't have a controlling spouse. However, I lost a friend because of a controlling and jealous spouse and she was one of my only friends when I moved into the area I currently live in. So he basically manipulated her to drop me and her entire friend circle and to this day I still struggle with the bitterness I feel toward them both.
My husband did this to me with my last group of friends and now thar I've made new ones he's trying to do it again. He constantly puts my friends down, is telling me when I can see them and for how long. Its terrible. He's financially, verbally, emotionally and previously has been physically abusive. I can't take it anymore
Omg yes, he is the smartest man in the world, knows how to do everything correctly. I need permission before planting anything in the garden, hanging a picture, ordering anything for myself. It’s ok for him to spend money on anything he wants but he picks apart my grocery shopping. He will say “you’re out of work, we need to budget” despite the fact that his last paycheck was 80k for one week. He then turned around and went out to eat and stocked up his craft beer fridge. He suddenly forgets arguments that “didn’t happen” discounts every example I use to show him that he is putting me down or does things wrong himself. When I walk away he will tell me everything is caused by my depression and clearly I need to see someone because I probably have a chemical imbalance.
Sounds like my husband. He will go around rearranging everything I placed, redoing everything I did just to show his dominance. He can only give orders, but refuses to listen to me. What annoys me even more is, he is super humble to other women letting them walk all over him.
I'm pregnant with my husband's 4th child living in his parents house and he does all of this except hits me but I've been with him for 20 years I have a car but he took the title and put his name on it and I dont have a family he does I'm stuck. There is nothing for me to do bc his parents are wealthy and will do anything to make me look bad so they can take my children from me. I'm stuck
I don’t feel like a lot of these fit my relationship but I feel like my husband is over bearing. A lot of times I feel like his child. He definitely criticizes a lot and I’m drained. I can’t be good enough. Trying to unravel myself financially.
Yes.He talks about my older kids to try and hurt me to control me..he doesn't want me to have contact with my children. I encourage his relationship with his kids..
Another reason why I'm getting a divorce. I cannot stand to be controlled. He's a one sided person,who likes to smoke pot in the garage with his buddy and I'm totally against it. Bad,bad habits not a good example for my son.
He does all these things except hit me, and he likes to deprive me of food when he drinks, he buys food only for himself when he buys his alcohol. He's made it so I have no job, no friends and no money. I'm stuck with no way out
Yes, exactly. It really annoys me when these folk who make videos on this topic, do so with bias. And then when we comment on it, they agree with us, but they dont retract and edit the video, they keep it up there regardless of the damage it continues to cause men
Jack Goodings why don’t men talk about it ever then? 🤔 where are the men organizing and protesting about domestic violence? 🤔 why don’t they even talk about themselves as the victim(not saying you aren’t right, just wondering why guys NEVER bring up & organize their issues)
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Ralph - Shush! Not supposed to talk about women .. they’re sooo perfect!
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jagir - Because, idiot, men (boys) are socialized from a very early age to just “take it like a man”. To complain about abuse - especially from a woman - is “unmanly” and goes against every thing we are taught our entire lives.
Healthy: Equal relationships...win/win...can be yourself...can grow without being pushed. Not healthy isolation....thinking they are better and criticize....abandons...shames...attacks....perfectionist...Praises self and cuts you down...says you have to earn respect according to their standards etc..
HI, If I find myself in the controlling position what are ways to get rid of these behaviors? Is there any practices that can stabilize the emotional problems for being in the controlling position ?
Such a great question! Well, first off I think it's great to work on yourself and decrease the controlling behaviors. I think the most important thing is to TRULY understand and appreciate that you are in a partnership with your significant other. They are no better or worse than you. And it's super important to treat someone how you want to be treated. With the upmost respect, appreciation, and love. I definitely also think some controlling behaviors stem from personal insecurities. Sometimes we struggle with how we feel about ourselves, so we try to control other people to make us feel better. So working on personal self-esteem and self-worth is very important. Also it's important to recognize when you do controlling behaviors and catch yourself in the act. Once you notice you're doing it, stop yourself and choose another behavior that caters to your partners needs instead of your own. It takes time to work through, but you'll be surprised how much change you can make in a short amount of time. I wish you the best!
My wife is controlling and thank you for the great video. I knew it was bad but she does every one of these things you mentioned. She even tracks me on my phone. Anyway, it's sad that it's so hard to find someone who's confident enough to just trust and love.
I'm so happy you found this video helpful. It definitely sounds like trust needs to be build in your relationship, which is a core aspect of a healthy relationship. lack of confidence can really bleed into the relationship and make certain aspects toxic. i hope you two can work through this and make some improvements.
Bro... I got cameras 2 inside. 4 outside. The accusations (cheating- I actually took a picture of the work class I was in), had mine call my friends (the 2 I can truly say I have right now) "worthless. And "Why do you wanna see your family? Because they never wanna see you." Thats just the start. Along with deleting my contacts via Verizon Cloud without my knowledge. Then lying about it when confronted. I feel ya.
Hi my boyfriend is trying his best to force me into marriage. Hes reopening old scars from my abusive past and he doesmnt seem to understand the word no. So i understand if hes a thorn in my tail now,im 100% sure hes going to become another monster. ty for the video.
Crazy! This is exactly what happened to me , i didn’t see it at the time , when he lost control of me and I spoke up he left me , we were together 37 years , 25 of those years we were married, it is the most difficult time I’ve been through and still going through.
ughh ! Idk what to do I'm 21 w . two babies I'm a stayathomemom and married to a 31 year old , he works alot and I'm just so unhappy in this relationship . we've been together for almost 4 years , he shows all of these signs . I never wanted any of this , hes cheated on me, criticized me , made me feel like shit . I'm literally always w . My childeren . I have no one to help me , my mom lives five mins aways and just tells me that's how a marriage is and that I need to stay .
This video is titled “Do You Have a Controlling Spouse or Husband?”, yet the video puts all the blame on the man. This video perfectly describes many wives. The man is NOT always the problem.
Way to the exit door just tired of being controlled. It’s sucks more when he doesn’t want leave you no matter how many times you’ve pleaded him to leave you alone. Emotional abuse really sucks!!
I have too much controling husband, he is tracking my mobile always watching where am going even I go work he is watching then asking why you go there? Also he is isolating me, all my family and his family against me also my friends. Am working he is not working and he is the one handling my money, then asking me how you spent that money. Always fighting with me I hate him I don't want him I don't love him. Only because of my kids am tolerating him.he is not even listening me always he right and am wrong in his view.my fb what's app , Gmail every thing handling by stupid husband. I hate him more than what. Because of him I hate my life tooo.
Please leave. Don’t stay because you have kids together. Don’t teach your children that it’s okay to stay in an unhealthy relationship, I regret that this very day.
He would accuse me of cheating on a regular basis, when I never did anything remotely close to cheating and avoided eye contact with other men. And it just got more and more frequent and more intense, and when I suggested that we part ways, he just wanted me to agree to disagree about the whole subject. But is that even a solution?
How do you get away from a controlling husband if you have nothing? No money, no savings because he's the one who's doing the work to provide but never get it whenever I explain him I wanted to earn. His answer is always that he does not want me to slave away myself for little money that I'll earn. He's in control of everything. idk how to get out
Are there any signs of a controlling wife or girlfriend? This is most definitely not a gender issue, and it's very sad that these videos continue to dismiss the abuse towards men. If you are raising awareness of abuse, then this needs to be about abuse, and remove gender .. it is stereotyping. Also, it is not mostly males who are abusers, and the National Domestic Abuse Hotline recent research indicated that it is near 50/50. Please target abusers, not men. Thank you
Thank you Jack for your input. There is absolutely spousal and relationship abuse towards men. When I initially created this video, I intentionally was trying to reach out to my female audience at the time. I do recognize that abuse towards men is very prevalent and I apologize for any offense.
How do you distinguish between being controlling and being dissatisfied? I do criticize him a fair amount but he also leaves all the cooking and cleaning to me, gets mad at me for very tiny things, leaves all household responsibilities to me (eg sorting things out with the landlord, laundry, managing repairs) the list goes on. I've tried gently reminding him about these things, asking if he could just do one thing a day (literally!), and praising him a lot when he does make a small positive step. But it never sticks for more than a day or two and eventually I snap and criticize him for putting everything on me. I don't feel like I'm controlling so much as feeling like I'm at my wits end. I understand if it's just general criticism about who they are as a person but I disagree when it's criticizing the effort they put into the relationship
I cant go out for a hour and my sh..is picked apart. I cant be on my phone or computer without being told I am flicking off pages, or chatting with someone! its constant harrassment. God knows I best not go out and other men are around well he says that I am staring , yes my eyes are looking! I realize after 28 years there is NO respect. There is no equal.
Women can also be unbelievably controlling too like my spouse. Its incredibly depressing and enraging becuase we have kids who I'd give my life for but I've been over being with my spouse for years, but im the only one who works (two jobs and very little sleep) and I dont know what to do because my kids are my life.
Absolutely, both men and women are controlling. it can be incredibly draining for the partner who is being controlled, and its extremely important to set boundaries with your significant other and let them know the ways in which they need to ease up and allow you your space and freedom and give you the respect you deserve.
I cheated on my husband many times so I have a gave him a reason. But he won't let me see my family for a long time and I don't get to go out and do things with my family. I understand that we have 7 kids but he makes time to visit his family. Is this abuse
@@KristinCoaching then why is the title spouse or husband? Seems bias, i know more men being controlled by their wives than the other way. I don't know a single woman that hates their non-simp husband, but the simp one's are browbeaten and used by thier wives. I feel bad for them.
Hi. Since I have been married to my husband he has tried to tell me what to do all the time and he speaks to me with harshness n he is very defensive n speaks with contempt to me which is so hurtful. I ask him not to speak the way he does to me and he will say how is he speaking to me like as though he don't know. He speaks to everyone else better than he does me. He knows I am a strong outgoing woman and it is like he is trying to bring me down. I say to him you are meant to just love me and that is it n speak to me with love also. He allows his family to treat me desrespectful also and he don't see a problem with it. He shows everyone else he the life n soul of every where yet at home he is a bully to me. He is critical of me also as though he thinks he can say what he wants to me. He OK rn he not then he is OK then he isn't. Hat is the matter with him. He is 57 yrs old. He behaves like a teenager
Some people would call me petty, but for everything dysfunctional that he does towards me I would match it and throw it back to him. Maybe after some time he'll come to realize his behavior and actions after getting a taste of his own medicine. And don't even get me started on his family. You did not marry and took vows with them, so they're all free to receive whatever wrath from you, especially if they're disrespecting you in your house or on your property. Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm passionate in every thing that I do including love, life, or defending myself. Something's gotta give!
My husband is like this. I can’t have opposite sex friends unless I’m having an affair with them at least that’s what my husband think. I can’t wear fitted clothes, he think I’m showing too much below. He knows everything. And I’m not happy in my marriage anymore.
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This is an awesome video! And very straightforward. I am in a controlling marriage. I’ve been in a controlling relationship the entire time even before marriage. My husband is a functional alcoholic with a horrible temper at times. In which I believe at one point he tried to use to control me. I feel I live in a state that only suits him. I got the house in my name and credit but it’s not in a state I wanted to live in. Even thou I chose the house. We debated a lot regarding where to move. I had chosen a state I wanted to move to but he had never been too and he would tell me he is okay moving there but in the same breathe tell me he would rather stay in the state we were in. I feel like he wasn’t being honest and truthful about how he felt about my feelings and that he knew all along that he was not interested in moving were I wanted move but tried to confuse me so I would think he was okay with moving where I wanted to move too. Everything seems to always be about him and what benefits him. When I bring up things his responds is always not right now I don’t want to talk about it or I pick the worse time to talk about things. When his parents came to visit us he has a pull-up bar in the backyard he demanded the kids, me and his parents go inside the house so he can workout. Instead of getting up early before everyone and doing it. This happened several times. He throws temper tampers when things don’t go his way or if you do the opposite of what he wants you to do. He always ask me what do you have plan for today. I’m retired from the military. So I stay at home with the kids and pay about 75% of the bills. While he works but calls and text me all throughout the day. If I don’t text back he then calls until I pick up. If I pick up and tell him I’m busy he wants to know what I’m doing. This relationship has been so exhausting!
Hey Tasha. Thank you for commenting and reaching out. I’m so happy this video was helpful for you. About your relationship, It definitely sounds like he’s very controlling, but their are definitely other issues at hand as well. I’m a believer that majority of relationships can be fixed if there are major problems, but its completely up to the couple. No relationship is perfect. I would recommend writing down specific problems that you want to make better, and as a team, work towards solving them together. Couples therapy could be a great solution also. Overall, It will take work, but as I mentioned before, majority of relationships can be rebuilt as long as both people in the relationship put in the effort to do so. I also recommend listening and trusting your intuition. Most of the time we know the answers, but we just have to listen to what our gut is telling us. I’m definitely rooting for you, I hope you guys can continue to grow together.
My husband was very controlling but, only over specific things in a way that I didn't see it as abusive. He wasn't jealous. He never accused me of anything but he was very controlling over our finances to the point that I had a great paying job and was wearing shoes with holes in them to work. I often felt like I was "in trouble" for doing anything that made me feel autonomous. He was very critical of me for everything from how I drove to how I drank my coffee too fast.
That's my husband, he makes my life a misery for months if I go away for the weekend to my friends mobile home. We have kids with us and all we do is stay in or bring the kids to the beach. He phones my parents up telling them complete lies
07:2107:2507:4208:1208:4409:2510:1910:34 The word "He" is a very unfair. She shouldn't show bias to women. This issue effect men and women equally. Listen for a few seconds on each time stamp.
Should be renamed controlling spouse or partner. Husband is gender specific. Abuse / control towards men is way under reported. All 10 apply to my situation. You are helping open my eyes to my wife’s controlling behavior. Thank you.
I was searching for guidance and stumbled across this video. Was going really well, quite insightful, until she was talking about "strong independent women" and "controlling husband". Today I learnt controllingness and abuse is perpetrated by men.
This is hard for me to listen to, my wife has accused me of being a controlling husband and I do not meet any of those things mentioned here. She has already spread the word and I feel betrayed. I have watched a plethora of videos and read numerous articles and I can’t believe she sees it this way. This is crazy. 😢
Actually I'm the jealous spouse, but that's because he tries to control & dominate me in everything but lets other women walk all over him. He decides everything in the house, he only gives orders what our kids will wear, what we'll have for lunch, where to place a piece of furniture etc etc.
Stay strong and keep loving yourself more everyday. More selfcare and less on drama that is beyond your control and with time there will be some clarity
To all the men complaining about the topic and attacking the content creator, there are many videos if you actually took the time to search "controlling WIFE".
I'm Malaysian born and raised here but my husband is from another country who had need to use a passport or a visa.. everyday he will say that if I grand him a malaysian ID he can success in doing a lot opening a business, telling the truth he went to trial without my knowledge I only know about it when I went to the immigration department to help him his visa for he is going to China.. I have no knowledge of it and I only have know about it at the last.. he always using me for I have an identity here in Malaysia he keep using my name to do all this business.. all business his doing which is under my name but I have no say anything and I didn't get a single cent from it.. according to his believe what is the woman's money is the husband's money but what is the husband's money is the husband money alone.. meaning I need to share my income my hard work money but we don't share his because it is not mine.
It's it wrong or a normal request for my husband not to want me to talk to the opposite gender in public for like more then 5 minutes, even if he knows I am an extrovert and I always have engaged with the public? He's Muslim and I'm not. I can't find any advice on this. The request didn't feel right to me, but I agreed to compromise on how I speak and that was not enough.
I hate how every thing I say or do he always has something mean to say about it Or he's constantly accusing me of cheating I can't stand it makes me feel like I'm going crazy hearing him accusing me of what he knows I'm not doing all I'm trying to do is live for God and he calls me mean names for it
@Mark Shaw I'm praying for my marriage and for my husband I know that God is able 🙏 I've seen broken marriage be restored so of God did it for others He will do the same for me I have faith things will be alrite 🙌🙌😊 I'm glad things are good for you 👍😇
I was meant to stumble on this video and these comments first I need to say thank you for making this video I truly needed to see this second I need to say thank you to all of you that have shared a lil bit about your situation these comments broke my heart yet also made me feel not so alone hugs to all of you we are stronger than we know 👌💪❤️
I love abs shared your video I do have one request tho if you don’t mind Will you please do a video on spouses who treat their partners like their children and how to squash that bullshit would be amazing thank you 🙏🏼
What about if ur spouse tells u to do chores or cook for them when you dont have the energy or the proper state of mind to do so and that they think that u dont listen to them?
I was a painkillier addict, because a had a neck manipulation caused by an osteopath, I used to get terrible migraines and this manip caused a stroke, this was happened in 2008, I am better now but my neurologist said never again and I was put on all these pills. It was a slow progression into addiction, my drs put me onto a myriad of stuff, I had never been on anything in my life before that. Come forward 15 yrs, I am recovered went to a rehab etc. I still have a lot of back pain, whereby I can't even move at night in my sleep without agony. I have a neurologist and GP, pain Dr, but I can't tell my husband this or he will go nuts. I only take Topomax for seizures, migraines, ibubrofen and paracetomol, when he finds it, which by the way I don't hide it, it's just in the bathroom cupboard he throws this out, Says I am jot allowed to take it, it's non addictive. He controls the money, I always am careful, but he will go buy new sunglasses, I don't buy myself anything, I take out cash so he doesn't see what I have bought sometimes as I just don't want the fight. He Says he has to come with me where ever I go to make sure I am not getting anything, I am feeling trapped. I have been fine for yrs as in well. I have also been a homemaker, looking after all the family's needs, they never go hungry, have clean clothes, a clean home etc, I do everything. I am about to start a job thank goodness, which will give me some freedom. But he always makes me wrong, says that I am making him look bad when I stand up for myself, I think I am going mad sometimes, makes himself look like the victim. I also delete my history on my phone...If he talks to m y parents, he makes himself sound like he's caring for me and that I am just being "crazy" Am I going crazy or is he just being caring? Thank you
So my husband has been showing some signs of control but I’m not sure if they really are or I’m just becoming sensitive towards them more. If we go out and we are at a sit down place he orders for me ( I pick out what I want but he likes to say it to the waiter) he never wants to leave me alone and do things on his own but I do and I feel guilty. So many other things but the first one I’m just wondering very much
For the folks pointing out that women are controling as well,..we know both sexes do this behaviour,..but I would say,..majority men have the lead in this insecure game of theirs in feeling they need to control and spew nastiness around to there partner.
Every so often, my husband tells me I can't afford something. He's a good hard-working man but when he gets like this I feel disrespected and it hurts even more. 😢😢😢
Now what do you do if your spouse has given you cause to not be trusted? Ie cheating both physical and or emotional? And even money management? And why is all your videos worded that it's the husband that is messing up? I honestly want to know. I've seen a few videos that make me question myself
If you're significant other has done something to cause you not to trust them, being "controlling" so to speak is not going to help the situation to regain the trust. When it comes to that type of scenario, being completely open and transparent with each other and communicating as much as possible is what needs to happen. You can see from the person who was deceptive that they are making changes to change their ways, and through their communication and transparency, the more trust will be built. Because being controlling so to speak will not stop your partner from deceiving you again. And in answer to your other question, when I first started doing my videos, I was catering to women in heterosexual relationships because they were my main subscribers at the time. But that has changed since, so now I try to be as inclusive as possible to both men and women, and all types of relationships.
my ex husband is so male dominant that he got me hired at a job and slept with someone in a chair in front of me at work in 1994 i tried to walk out of the job and got bounced back to my seat.
I was searching for how to leave a controlling marriage and this showed up in the results. Every single one of these is my husband to a T. I am completely smothered by him and made to deem inadequate and worthless on a daily basis. Just 10 minutes ago I was yelled at and told that I’m wasteful because I got him a TV dinner he didn’t like. I didn’t know he didn’t like it and he slammed doors and made me feel awful about it. I want to leave this marriage so badly not he controls every aspect of my life and we have a son together. He has told me that he will never let me move out and take “his son” but I could never bring myself to let him live with him so I’ve stayed for my son. I can’t afford a lawyer and I just don’t know what to do.
I ask where when how bla, but i dont see it as controlling because he did things that were wrong and I am watching lest it happens again. But I conspire to being controlled as he does
Everything you say here is text book to what my friend is going through with her husband, today she said I can't afford lunch I noticed this every time and if she gets out as he rings constantly when she is and when are you coming home and makes excuses etc to get her home, I feel like my friend may as well live in a cage I see bells ringing like mad and I f Don't Know how to help her I have spoke to her and said what your saying but she goes, I know but and makes excuses for him I feel like it's criminal what he's doing and I am so worried and angry too he is treating my friend like this, any advice Please
Ugh, I know this feeling exactly. Having a friend who you know is in an unhealthy situation but not having the power to control it. It's all about "planting the seed". I tell people this. It's about just putting out little comments or questions or ideas that helps your friend see what's really going on. It needs to be done in a loving way and a non confrontational way. For example, "It seems stressful to have him call you all the time while you're hanging out with your friends. That would be hard for me. How does it make you feel?" This is an example of stating a consequence that his actions are having on their relationship, and getting her to express her feelings. She still may give excuses for him, but you're still addressing his behaviors and the impact it could be having on her. I wish you the best.
I thought this would be a reasonable balanced video but obviously you feel the HUSBAND is always the “controlling” party. That is not the case in my marriage. My wife does EVERYTHING you stated. Have you done any videos that can help The Husband ?
Hi Ken, thank you for your comment! Most of my followers are women so I cater my topics to that population. But you're right, there can absolutely be controlling wives as well! I'm sorry you're in that type of situation. I have another video that talks about how to deal with a controlling spouse. I hope you find it helpful. Please let me know if you have any questions. :) th-cam.com/video/xTKf1Wjndx8/w-d-xo.html
Absolutely. It's very sad that we get videos supposedly educating people on abuse yet continue to maintain gender divide and hence validate and further empower and enable the female abuser. I feel for women and men who have been victimised / abused. I also feel for men an women in same sex relationships with abusers. It also saddens me to hear someone who seems to care for those being abused, yet show no consideration for abused males .. and yet also talks about equal playing field. It triggers me each time I watch these videos for support and end up hearing about it being all about women. Relationships are partnerships, yes, equal .. not gender specific .. this just continues the abuse on men
@pk pk The video is about husbands and wies, not dads and daughters. No girl should have a husband/wife type relationship with their dad. That is sick. The video is not about boyfriends and girlfriends. If you are not married, it is not the same.
I'm a newly married man only 6months, we had more quarrels 6months than I have had 40yrs. Everything spoken here are what my wife does to me. She condemns my tastes and way of life, criticise decisions and projects I did or had before marrying her. Extracts phrases and sentences out of context from my words and interprets it as she feels on thinks etc.
my wife does most of the things you said ... you said HE HE HE but everything you said goes to SHE too and i am going threw this 100% thank you for this video
edward rivera Your right Edward. This can absolutely go both ways! I’m happy this video was helpful for you and I’m sorry you’re in a relationship that is emotionally controlling. I hope these tips will help so you can get out of this unhealthy situation.
its tuff and not easy i get verbally insulted and yelled at and called names i would not call anyone .. and i do what i can not to stir up an issue and stay quiet at home and hardy talk in fear that a word i say will start a argument ..i come home from a hard day of work and 5 min walking in my own home and she finds something to be upset about and its something so small like a spoon left in the sink and she cleaned it and its a fight . I'm like so what its a spoon not a big deal but to her its a big dead and she don't want to clean it and in like Don't i will its just a spoon then I'm called an Asshole
Hi edward. I definitely understand how challenging it would be to talk to someone who starts arguments everything something that seems small comes up. With that, fights and arguments are ok to have, but it's all about what's said during the fights that cause them to bring you both together or tear you apart. Things like name-calling, yelling, degrading statements, interrupting the other person while they're talking or shutting down in a fight are just a few of the things that cause fights to get out of hand. Its hard to talk to someone who gets agitated so easily, so I recommend, when a fight starts, working on calming her down and guiding the conversation. If she's being verbally insulting you'll never solve the problem, so you'll have to tell her to not say mean things and focus only on solving whatever the issue is. Does this help?
i have said not to say things like that but she still says the words that hurt but looks like she has decided to leave to her country so this will give me a break
I really feel for you yes it goes both ways my friend is suffering badly so good you've noticed do something unfortunately my friend isn't there yet so I'm looking for any advice that may help me help her
I can't believe that just with a phone call i made to Dr. Aguiyi 🥰🥰 I got my ex back within 48 hours interval. I had read some stuff about Dr. Aguiyi before i called him but i didn't know that all those stuff were so accurate until i got my ex back, After getting my ex back i taught it wise to share my testimony with every one on this website that Dr.Aguiyi is a real and powerful spell caster that rebuild any broken relationship or marriage with love spell. Do feel free to Contact Dr.Aguiyi via email: ( aguiyispellcaster@gmail.com) OR what app +2348151642717. Facebook page: facebook.com/aguiyispellcaster/
It's important to stand up for yourself by not allowing to be treated a certain way. It's important to set boundaries and say "no" or tell your husband you're not going to engage in a conversation when he is being disrespectful or rude. Limits need to be set, because if you let things go without expressing how his behaviors and words impact you, he's just going to keep doing the same thing. He doesn't necessarily need to admit he's controlling or not, he just needs to listen to you when you tell him how you're effected by his behavior. I wish you the best.
I'm so so sick of being controlled. I cant take this crap anymore. Thank you for this video!!$
Same
This is my life. All 10 signs and some.
This is definitely my friend. He's in a relationship with a VERY controlling wife
1) He's not allowed to see friends unless he gets permission
2) Gets calls from her multiple times a day asking where's he at
3) He's not allowed to hangout with friends on weekends at all - even though they just sit at home all day
4) She tells him how to do everything
5) He's an introvert - she told him when he talks to her he has to act very outgoing (and you can tell its forced)
6) He tried breaking up with her 3 different times in a year, and she told him they were getting married no matter what
That is not okay to do to anyone woman or man. I wouldn't treat somebody like that.
Wow!!! What an eye opener for me. Ive been under control from childhood up to now and I am now 59. Listening to this video made me realize, Lord willing, I don't want to live out the rest of my life being controlled. Im better off being alone with God, my sons, and a few friends (non controlling ones). Time to seek help and make a plan. Thanks for sharing Kristen. Love and many blessings to you.
🙏🏽❤🙏🏽
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Lisa Archie, i have been this way also and don't want to live this way for the rest of my life.
My hubby controls the money, is critical and moaning all the time and constantly wants my attention when he isn’t doing things for himself like social activities etc. I’ve felt all consumed for years and until recently I realised that I had completely lost my sense of identity. I was afraid of everything and running myself ragged to please him. To the point where I had a stroke. He is also confusingly very loving at times. But even then it’s because he is trying to suck to love out of me when I don’t have any love left for him. Because he doesn’t give me the space to have any time for myself. He appears to be listening and supportive but it seems more like he is judging. He has met all but 1 of my friends. These other friends are not longer in my life. The last friend he is now pushing to meet but I won’t allow it. I need to have some friends and a life for myself. I’m now building a life and my health for myself. I sleep in a separate room and I am changing my sleep habits to be an early riser. That means I get time for myself. I’ve chosen not to share any more stuff with him and I’m rebuilding my life and health to a point where I feel I have the freedom to choose whether I leave or not. He also wants to eat all my food and wants to consume everything I have. Even when I take a photo of something he will take the same shot and copy me. He gets recognition for things I’ve done. I only realised it recently that I am in a controlling marriage with a man who has no time for me unless it’s something he wants too. I’m tired of being criticised, invalidated, dismissed and controlled. I’m now awake!
This sounds like my wife.
Religious women are control freaks. I'm 50 now and don't feel like doing any relationship work . For what?
7 of 10 for mine.
Mine too.
I don't have a controlling spouse. However, I lost a friend because of a controlling and jealous spouse and she was one of my only friends when I moved into the area I currently live in. So he basically manipulated her to drop me and her entire friend circle and to this day I still struggle with the bitterness I feel toward them both.
I’m sorry that happened to you. I truly understand.
My husband did this to me with my last group of friends and now thar I've made new ones he's trying to do it again. He constantly puts my friends down, is telling me when I can see them and for how long. Its terrible. He's financially, verbally, emotionally and previously has been physically abusive. I can't take it anymore
Omg yes, he is the smartest man in the world, knows how to do everything correctly. I need permission before planting anything in the garden, hanging a picture, ordering anything for myself. It’s ok for him to spend money on anything he wants but he picks apart my grocery shopping. He will say “you’re out of work, we need to budget” despite the fact that his last paycheck was 80k for one week. He then turned around and went out to eat and stocked up his craft beer fridge. He suddenly forgets arguments that “didn’t happen” discounts every example I use to show him that he is putting me down or does things wrong himself. When I walk away he will tell me everything is caused by my depression and clearly I need to see someone because I probably have a chemical imbalance.
Me
@@Natural07Diva well, he’s my ex husband now and my life is 140% better.
I found someone who respects me and supports me and it’s so good I want to cry.
That is amazing!!! I’m hoping to have that same result. I want my marriage to work but I need to be respected.
Sounds like my husband. He will go around rearranging everything I placed, redoing everything I did just to show his dominance. He can only give orders, but refuses to listen to me. What annoys me even more is, he is super humble to other women letting them walk all over him.
I'm pregnant with my husband's 4th child living in his parents house and he does all of this except hits me but I've been with him for 20 years I have a car but he took the title and put his name on it and I dont have a family he does I'm stuck. There is nothing for me to do bc his parents are wealthy and will do anything to make me look bad so they can take my children from me. I'm stuck
There are programs out there that will help you! Especially being that children are involved.
I don’t feel like a lot of these fit my relationship but I feel like my husband is over bearing. A lot of times I feel like his child. He definitely criticizes a lot and I’m drained. I can’t be good enough. Trying to unravel myself financially.
Yes.He talks about my older kids to try and hurt me to control me..he doesn't want me to have contact with my children. I encourage his relationship with his kids..
Another reason why I'm getting a divorce. I cannot stand to be controlled. He's a one sided person,who likes to smoke pot in the garage with his buddy and I'm totally against it. Bad,bad habits not a good example for my son.
He does all these things except hit me, and he likes to deprive me of food when he drinks, he buys food only for himself when he buys his alcohol. He's made it so I have no job, no friends and no money. I'm stuck with no way out
😔
Me too I’m up a dirt road 3 miles, no one wants to come, all promises broken again
Yes, ive completely lost my self esteem because of the constant critiquing
This is a two-way street, women do the EXACT same things of which you're talking about.
You are 100% right, and I couldn't agree more.
Yes, exactly. It really annoys me when these folk who make videos on this topic, do so with bias. And then when we comment on it, they agree with us, but they dont retract and edit the video, they keep it up there regardless of the damage it continues to cause men
Jack Goodings why don’t men talk about it ever then? 🤔 where are the men organizing and protesting about domestic violence? 🤔 why don’t they even talk about themselves as the victim(not saying you aren’t right, just wondering why guys NEVER bring up & organize their issues)
Ralph - Shush! Not supposed to talk about women .. they’re sooo perfect!
jagir - Because, idiot, men (boys) are socialized from a very early age to just “take it like a man”. To complain about abuse - especially from a woman - is “unmanly” and goes against every thing we are taught our entire lives.
Healthy: Equal relationships...win/win...can be yourself...can grow without being pushed. Not healthy isolation....thinking they are better and criticize....abandons...shames...attacks....perfectionist...Praises self and cuts you down...says you have to earn respect according to their standards etc..
HI, If I find myself in the controlling position what are ways to get rid of these behaviors? Is there any practices that can stabilize the emotional problems for being in the controlling position ?
Such a great question! Well, first off I think it's great to work on yourself and decrease the controlling behaviors. I think the most important thing is to TRULY understand and appreciate that you are in a partnership with your significant other. They are no better or worse than you. And it's super important to treat someone how you want to be treated. With the upmost respect, appreciation, and love. I definitely also think some controlling behaviors stem from personal insecurities. Sometimes we struggle with how we feel about ourselves, so we try to control other people to make us feel better. So working on personal self-esteem and self-worth is very important. Also it's important to recognize when you do controlling behaviors and catch yourself in the act. Once you notice you're doing it, stop yourself and choose another behavior that caters to your partners needs instead of your own. It takes time to work through, but you'll be surprised how much change you can make in a short amount of time. I wish you the best!
🤦♂️ sounds like her. But she doesn’t want to leave!
My wife is controlling and thank you for the great video. I knew it was bad but she does every one of these things you mentioned. She even tracks me on my phone. Anyway, it's sad that it's so hard to find someone who's confident enough to just trust and love.
I'm so happy you found this video helpful. It definitely sounds like trust needs to be build in your relationship, which is a core aspect of a healthy relationship. lack of confidence can really bleed into the relationship and make certain aspects toxic. i hope you two can work through this and make some improvements.
Bro... I got cameras 2 inside. 4 outside. The accusations (cheating- I actually took a picture of the work class I was in), had mine call my friends (the 2 I can truly say I have right now) "worthless. And "Why do you wanna see your family? Because they never wanna see you." Thats just the start. Along with deleting my contacts via Verizon Cloud without my knowledge. Then lying about it when confronted. I feel ya.
No I'm expected to be alone until I'm deemed worthy this is how I'm feeling right now
And having different parenting ideas is hard too. Like my opinion doesn’t matter.
I want to go out tonight and I feel like he’s going to be beside himself if I even suggest it.
Hi my boyfriend is trying his best to force me into marriage. Hes reopening old scars from my abusive past and he doesmnt seem to understand the word no. So i understand if hes a thorn in my tail now,im 100% sure hes going to become another monster. ty for the video.
Crazy! This is exactly what happened to me , i didn’t see it at the time , when he lost control of me and I spoke up he left me , we were together 37 years , 25 of those years we were married, it is the most difficult time I’ve been through and still going through.
What if they are causing debt and not accounting for the damage?
ughh ! Idk what to do I'm 21 w . two babies I'm a stayathomemom and married to a 31 year old , he works alot and I'm just so unhappy in this relationship . we've been together for almost 4 years , he shows all of these signs . I never wanted any of this , hes cheated on me, criticized me , made me feel like shit . I'm literally always w . My childeren . I have no one to help me , my mom lives five mins aways and just tells me that's how a marriage is and that I need to stay .
This video is titled “Do You Have a Controlling Spouse or Husband?”, yet the video puts all the blame on the man.
This video perfectly describes many wives.
The man is NOT always the problem.
Yes, no matter what i say he always thinks he's right
Way to the exit door just tired of being controlled. It’s sucks more when he doesn’t want leave you no matter how many times you’ve pleaded him to leave you alone. Emotional abuse really sucks!!
I would ignore him and give him the silent treatment. You'll end up driving him crazy because he won't get the response that he wants out of you.
@@Lioness_Es technology doing that is also a form of emotional abuse
I have too much controling husband, he is tracking my mobile always watching where am going even I go work he is watching then asking why you go there? Also he is isolating me, all my family and his family against me also my friends. Am working he is not working and he is the one handling my money, then asking me how you spent that money. Always fighting with me I hate him I don't want him I don't love him. Only because of my kids am tolerating him.he is not even listening me always he right and am wrong in his view.my fb what's app , Gmail every thing handling by stupid husband. I hate him more than what. Because of him I hate my life tooo.
Hello Rebecca! I hope you are safe in this pandemics. if you ever want some friendship or company please get in touch. Sending love xo
Please leave. Don’t stay because you have kids together. Don’t teach your children that it’s okay to stay in an unhealthy relationship, I regret that this very day.
He would accuse me of cheating on a regular basis, when I never did anything remotely close to cheating and avoided eye contact with other men. And it just got more and more frequent and more intense, and when I suggested that we part ways, he just wanted me to agree to disagree about the whole subject. But is that even a solution?
How do you get away from a controlling husband if you have nothing? No money, no savings because he's the one who's doing the work to provide but never get it whenever I explain him I wanted to earn. His answer is always that he does not want me to slave away myself for little money that I'll earn. He's in control of everything. idk how to get out
These are all the signs im facing. I need you to please get in contact with me. I really feel so trapped and I need a way out of this.
Are you okay?
This my man especially the isolation part
Are there any signs of a controlling wife or girlfriend? This is most definitely not a gender issue, and it's very sad that these videos continue to dismiss the abuse towards men. If you are raising awareness of abuse, then this needs to be about abuse, and remove gender .. it is stereotyping. Also, it is not mostly males who are abusers, and the National Domestic Abuse Hotline recent research indicated that it is near 50/50. Please target abusers, not men. Thank you
Thank you Jack for your input. There is absolutely spousal and relationship abuse towards men. When I initially created this video, I intentionally was trying to reach out to my female audience at the time. I do recognize that abuse towards men is very prevalent and I apologize for any offense.
Yes abuse against men is a problem but it's nowhere near 50/50. Sorry.
How do you distinguish between being controlling and being dissatisfied? I do criticize him a fair amount but he also leaves all the cooking and cleaning to me, gets mad at me for very tiny things, leaves all household responsibilities to me (eg sorting things out with the landlord, laundry, managing repairs) the list goes on. I've tried gently reminding him about these things, asking if he could just do one thing a day (literally!), and praising him a lot when he does make a small positive step. But it never sticks for more than a day or two and eventually I snap and criticize him for putting everything on me. I don't feel like I'm controlling so much as feeling like I'm at my wits end. I understand if it's just general criticism about who they are as a person but I disagree when it's criticizing the effort they put into the relationship
Women in a controlling relationship, yeah my wife is that woman who is the controlling spouse…
Yes there are people both male and female who are controlling 😢
Remember it goes both ways wifes to not just husbands my wife does all what you say to me
@ 6:45 notice she didn’t have the strength to say controlling wife.
I cant go out for a hour and my sh..is picked apart. I cant be on my phone or computer without being told I am flicking off pages, or chatting with someone! its constant harrassment. God knows I best not go out and other men are around well he says that I am staring , yes my eyes are looking! I realize after 28 years there is NO respect. There is no equal.
I want to go out tonight but I know it’s going to be an issue
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Thank you this was very helpful, I myself had a controlling husband but I got tired and walking away.
I'm proud of you for taking care of yourself and doing what's best for you! That is extremely important. Thank you for your comment :)
I'm sure you were also a mess and drove him nuts. You need to repent and believe in Jesus.
Shut up and don't bring Jesus down to your disgusting level! Jesus Christ is Lord!
Oh my gosh this describes in everyway. Thank you for this video.
Women can also be unbelievably controlling too like my spouse. Its incredibly depressing and enraging becuase we have kids who I'd give my life for but I've been over being with my spouse for years, but im the only one who works (two jobs and very little sleep) and I dont know what to do because my kids are my life.
Absolutely, both men and women are controlling. it can be incredibly draining for the partner who is being controlled, and its extremely important to set boundaries with your significant other and let them know the ways in which they need to ease up and allow you your space and freedom and give you the respect you deserve.
I cheated on my husband many times so I have a gave him a reason. But he won't let me see my family for a long time and I don't get to go out and do things with my family. I understand that we have 7 kids but he makes time to visit his family. Is this abuse
This is so true 😥
Why is it always he used? Its a two way street
Totally agree Gary. Yes it is.
@@KristinCoaching then why is the title spouse or husband?
Seems bias, i know more men being controlled by their wives than the other way.
I don't know a single woman that hates their non-simp husband, but the simp one's are browbeaten and used by thier wives.
I feel bad for them.
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Maaane This goes both ways not just pointing fingers at the man.
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There is so much more nuance to all of these than just black and white.
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Hi. Since I have been married to my husband he has tried to tell me what to do all the time and he speaks to me with harshness n he is very defensive n speaks with contempt to me which is so hurtful. I ask him not to speak the way he does to me and he will say how is he speaking to me like as though he don't know. He speaks to everyone else better than he does me. He knows I am a strong outgoing woman and it is like he is trying to bring me down. I say to him you are meant to just love me and that is it n speak to me with love also. He allows his family to treat me desrespectful also and he don't see a problem with it. He shows everyone else he the life n soul of every where yet at home he is a bully to me. He is critical of me also as though he thinks he can say what he wants to me. He OK rn he not then he is OK then he isn't. Hat is the matter with him. He is 57 yrs old. He behaves like a teenager
You’ve described my husband. You must decide on your happiness. Best of luck
Some people would call me petty, but for everything dysfunctional that he does towards me I would match it and throw it back to him. Maybe after some time he'll come to realize his behavior and actions after getting a taste of his own medicine.
And don't even get me started on his family. You did not marry and took vows with them, so they're all free to receive whatever wrath from you, especially if they're disrespecting you in your house or on your property.
Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm passionate in every thing that I do including love, life, or defending myself. Something's gotta give!
My husband is like this. I can’t have opposite sex friends unless I’m having an affair with them at least that’s what my husband think. I can’t wear fitted clothes, he think I’m showing too much below. He knows everything. And I’m not happy in my marriage anymore.
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I'm muslim same thing happened to me. I just ignored her habits. And she just left and hurting my mum .
I can't believe that just with a phone call i made to Dr. Aguiyi 🥰🥰
I got my ex back within 48 hours interval. I had read some stuff about Dr. Aguiyi before i called him but i didn't know that all those stuff were so accurate until i got my ex back, After getting my ex back i taught it wise to share my testimony with every one on this website that Dr.Aguiyi is a real and powerful spell caster that rebuild any broken relationship or marriage with love spell. Do feel free to Contact Dr.Aguiyi via email: ( aguiyispellcaster@gmail.com) OR what app +2348151642717.
Facebook page:
facebook.com/aguiyispellcaster/
🙌🙌🙌wow very straight forward love this !!!💖💖💖
Thank you! So happy you liked this video :)
This is an awesome video! And very straightforward. I am in a controlling marriage. I’ve been in a controlling relationship the entire time even before marriage.
My husband is a functional alcoholic with a horrible temper at times. In which I believe at one point he tried to use to control me. I feel I live in a state that only suits him. I got the house in my name and credit but it’s not in a state I wanted to live in. Even thou I chose the house. We debated a lot regarding where to move. I had chosen a state I wanted to move to but he had never been too and he would tell me he is okay moving there but in the same breathe tell me he would rather stay in the state we were in. I feel like he wasn’t being honest and truthful about how he felt about my feelings and that he knew all along that he was not interested in moving were I wanted move but tried to confuse me so I would think he was okay with moving where I wanted to move too.
Everything seems to always be about him and what benefits him. When I bring up things his responds is always not right now I don’t want to talk about it or I pick the worse time to talk about things. When his parents came to visit us he has a pull-up bar in the backyard he demanded the kids, me and his parents go inside the house so he can workout. Instead of getting up early before everyone and doing it. This happened several times. He throws temper tampers when things don’t go his way or if you do the opposite of what he wants you to do.
He always ask me what do you have plan for today. I’m retired from the military. So I stay at home with the kids and pay about 75% of the bills. While he works but calls and text me all throughout the day. If I don’t text back he then calls until I pick up. If I pick up and tell him I’m busy he wants to know what I’m doing. This relationship has been so exhausting!
Hey Tasha. Thank you for commenting and reaching out. I’m so happy this video was helpful for you. About your relationship, It definitely sounds like he’s very controlling, but their are definitely other issues at hand as well. I’m a believer that majority of relationships can be fixed if there are major problems, but its completely up to the couple. No relationship is perfect. I would recommend writing down specific problems that you want to make better, and as a team, work towards solving them together. Couples therapy could be a great solution also. Overall, It will take work, but as I mentioned before, majority of relationships can be rebuilt as long as both people in the relationship put in the effort to do so.
I also recommend listening and trusting your intuition. Most of the time we know the answers, but we just have to listen to what our gut is telling us.
I’m definitely rooting for you, I hope you guys can continue to grow together.
Run Tasha, run!!! Save your kids and you will be happy some day!!!
How can he be productive at work if he's playing phone tag with you all day? I would call his boss and totally dime him out!
My husband was very controlling but, only over specific things in a way that I didn't see it as abusive. He wasn't jealous. He never accused me of anything but he was very controlling over our finances to the point that I had a great paying job and was wearing shoes with holes in them to work. I often felt like I was "in trouble" for doing anything that made me feel autonomous. He was very critical of me for everything from how I drove to how I drank my coffee too fast.
This is my wife.
She has total control of my money. Never listened to my opinions, refuses intimacy she is always blaming me I have no friends now lol
That's my husband, he makes my life a misery for months if I go away for the weekend to my friends mobile home. We have kids with us and all we do is stay in or bring the kids to the beach. He phones my parents up telling them complete lies
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07:21 07:25 07:42 08:12 08:44 09:25 10:19 10:34 The word "He" is a very unfair. She shouldn't show bias to women. This issue effect men and women equally. Listen for a few seconds on each time stamp.
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Should be renamed controlling spouse or partner. Husband is gender specific.
Abuse / control towards men is way under reported.
All 10 apply to my situation. You are helping open my eyes to my wife’s controlling behavior.
Thank you.
I got 7.
I was searching for guidance and stumbled across this video. Was going really well, quite insightful, until she was talking about "strong independent women" and "controlling husband". Today I learnt controllingness and abuse is perpetrated by men.
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It's funny how in the description you tend to identify the controller with masculine terms. In my marriage my wife is the controller.
This is hard for me to listen to, my wife has accused me of being a controlling husband and I do not meet any of those things mentioned here. She has already spread the word and I feel betrayed. I have watched a plethora of videos and read numerous articles and I can’t believe she sees it this way. This is crazy. 😢
Thank you so much for this video
Actually I'm the jealous spouse, but that's because he tries to control & dominate me in everything but lets other women walk all over him. He decides everything in the house, he only gives orders what our kids will wear, what we'll have for lunch, where to place a piece of furniture etc etc.
Stay strong and keep loving yourself more everyday. More selfcare and less on drama that is beyond your control and with time there will be some clarity
My wife has every behavior you mentioned🤔
To all the men complaining about the topic and attacking the content creator, there are many videos if you actually took the time to search "controlling WIFE".
I put in "controlling wife" and this video was the 4th result.
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1,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 these point applicable to my spouse.
I'm Malaysian born and raised here but my husband is from another country who had need to use a passport or a visa.. everyday he will say that if I grand him a malaysian ID he can success in doing a lot opening a business, telling the truth he went to trial without my knowledge I only know about it when I went to the immigration department to help him his visa for he is going to China.. I have no knowledge of it and I only have know about it at the last.. he always using me for I have an identity here in Malaysia he keep using my name to do all this business.. all business his doing which is under my name but I have no say anything and I didn't get a single cent from it.. according to his believe what is the woman's money is the husband's money but what is the husband's money is the husband money alone.. meaning I need to share my income my hard work money but we don't share his because it is not mine.
Thx for watching! if you're in this type of relationship,
please leave a comment or question below and I'll make sure to get back to you!!
I am late to this video, but I would like to see a video of you explaining WHY, in a sense, that controlling people are like this.
It's it wrong or a normal request for my husband not to want me to talk to the opposite gender in public for like more then 5 minutes, even if he knows I am an extrovert and I always have engaged with the public? He's Muslim and I'm not. I can't find any advice on this. The request didn't feel right to me, but I agreed to compromise on how I speak and that was not enough.
Hi Kristin. What to do with emotional and mental manipulation? I checked 8 out of 10
I hate how every thing I say or do he always has something mean to say about it
Or he's constantly accusing me of cheating I can't stand it makes me feel like I'm going crazy hearing him accusing me of what he knows I'm not doing all I'm trying to do is live for God and he calls me mean names for it
@Mark Shaw I'm praying for my marriage and for my husband I know that God is able 🙏 I've seen broken marriage be restored so of God did it for others He will do the same for me I have faith things will be alrite 🙌🙌😊
I'm glad things are good for you 👍😇
I was meant to stumble on this video and these comments first I need to say thank you for making this video I truly needed to see this second I need to say thank you to all of you that have shared a lil bit about your situation these comments broke my heart yet also made me feel not so alone hugs to all of you we are stronger than we know 👌💪❤️
If this can happen to women, this can happen to men, too, and thus deserves equal reporting!
Omg 😱 I feel like you are talking about my spouse.
He is the best when it comes to recovery ex back💔💔😭
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Isn’t it your responsibility to just not feel dominated controlled or one down?
Omg that it’s so me .
I love abs shared your video I do have one request tho if you don’t mind Will you please do a video on spouses who treat their partners like their children and how to squash that bullshit would be amazing thank you 🙏🏼
What about if ur spouse tells u to do chores or cook for them when you dont have the energy or the proper state of mind to do so and that they think that u dont listen to them?
He is the best when it comes to recovery ex back💔💔😭
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I was a painkillier addict, because a had a neck manipulation caused by an osteopath, I used to get terrible migraines and this manip caused a stroke, this was happened in 2008, I am better now but my neurologist said never again and I was put on all these pills. It was a slow progression into addiction, my drs put me onto a myriad of stuff, I had never been on anything in my life before that. Come forward 15 yrs, I am recovered went to a rehab etc. I still have a lot of back pain, whereby I can't even move at night in my sleep without agony. I have a neurologist and GP, pain Dr, but I can't tell my husband this or he will go nuts.
I only take Topomax for seizures, migraines, ibubrofen and paracetomol, when he finds it, which by the way I don't hide it, it's just in the bathroom cupboard he throws this out, Says I am jot allowed to take it, it's non addictive. He controls the money, I always am careful, but he will go buy new sunglasses, I don't buy myself anything, I take out cash so he doesn't see what I have bought sometimes as I just don't want the fight. He Says he has to come with me where ever I go to make sure I am not getting anything, I am feeling trapped. I have been fine for yrs as in well. I have also been a homemaker, looking after all the family's needs, they never go hungry, have clean clothes, a clean home etc, I do everything. I am about to start a job thank goodness, which will give me some freedom. But he always makes me wrong, says that I am making him look bad when I stand up for myself, I think I am going mad sometimes, makes himself look like the victim. I also delete my history on my phone...If he talks to m y parents, he makes himself sound like he's caring for me and that I am just being "crazy" Am I going crazy or is he just being caring? Thank you
He is the best when it comes to recovery ex back💔💔😭
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So my husband has been showing some signs of control but I’m not sure if they really are or I’m just becoming sensitive towards them more. If we go out and we are at a sit down place he orders for me ( I pick out what I want but he likes to say it to the waiter) he never wants to leave me alone and do things on his own but I do and I feel guilty. So many other things but the first one I’m just wondering very much
For the folks pointing out that women are controling as well,..we know both sexes do this behaviour,..but I would say,..majority men have the lead in this insecure game of theirs in feeling they need to control and spew nastiness around to there partner.
Thank you for your comment Elizabeth!
Wives are good at controlling.
Everything I go through
Every so often, my husband tells me I can't afford something. He's a good hard-working man but when he gets like this I feel disrespected and it hurts even more. 😢😢😢
Now what do you do if your spouse has given you cause to not be trusted? Ie cheating both physical and or emotional? And even money management? And why is all your videos worded that it's the husband that is messing up? I honestly want to know. I've seen a few videos that make me question myself
If you're significant other has done something to cause you not to trust them, being "controlling" so to speak is not going to help the situation to regain the trust. When it comes to that type of scenario, being completely open and transparent with each other and communicating as much as possible is what needs to happen. You can see from the person who was deceptive that they are making changes to change their ways, and through their communication and transparency, the more trust will be built. Because being controlling so to speak will not stop your partner from deceiving you again. And in answer to your other question, when I first started doing my videos, I was catering to women in heterosexual relationships because they were my main subscribers at the time. But that has changed since, so now I try to be as inclusive as possible to both men and women, and all types of relationships.
Ok J you know who you are as a man......or at least u would know if uve ever done something wrong.... Ever...
my ex husband is so male dominant that he got me hired at a job and slept with someone in a chair in front of me at work in 1994 i tried to walk out of the job and got bounced back to my seat.
I was searching for how to leave a controlling marriage and this showed up in the results. Every single one of these is my husband to a T. I am completely smothered by him and made to deem inadequate and worthless on a daily basis. Just 10 minutes ago I was yelled at and told that I’m wasteful because I got him a TV dinner he didn’t like. I didn’t know he didn’t like it and he slammed doors and made me feel awful about it. I want to leave this marriage so badly not he controls every aspect of my life and we have a son together. He has told me that he will never let me move out and take “his son” but I could never bring myself to let him live with him so I’ve stayed for my son. I can’t afford a lawyer and I just don’t know what to do.
He is the best when it comes to recovery ex back💔💔😭
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yep, the list fits. I would never talk to her or anyone the way she talks to me and says things.
He is the best when it comes to recovery ex back💔💔😭
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I ask where when how bla, but i dont see it as controlling because he did things that were wrong and I am watching lest it happens again. But I conspire to being controlled as he does
My husband is worse than that
So good
Everything you say here is text book to what my friend is going through with her husband, today she said I can't afford lunch I noticed this every time and if she gets out as he rings constantly when she is and when are you coming home and makes excuses etc to get her home, I feel like my friend may as well live in a cage I see bells ringing like mad and I f
Don't Know how to help her I have spoke to her and said what your saying but she goes, I know but and makes excuses for him I feel like it's criminal what he's doing and I am so worried and angry too he is treating my friend like this, any advice Please
Ugh, I know this feeling exactly. Having a friend who you know is in an unhealthy situation but not having the power to control it. It's all about "planting the seed". I tell people this. It's about just putting out little comments or questions or ideas that helps your friend see what's really going on. It needs to be done in a loving way and a non confrontational way. For example, "It seems stressful to have him call you all the time while you're hanging out with your friends. That would be hard for me. How does it make you feel?" This is an example of stating a consequence that his actions are having on their relationship, and getting her to express her feelings. She still may give excuses for him, but you're still addressing his behaviors and the impact it could be having on her. I wish you the best.
That's me in 20 years
This video is about controlling husbands
Are you talking about my wife.
He is the best when it comes to recovery ex back💔💔😭
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I thought this would be a reasonable balanced video but obviously you feel the HUSBAND is always the “controlling” party. That is not the case in my marriage. My wife does EVERYTHING you stated. Have you done any videos that can help The Husband ?
Hi Ken, thank you for your comment! Most of my followers are women so I cater my topics to that population. But you're right, there can absolutely be controlling wives as well! I'm sorry you're in that type of situation. I have another video that talks about how to deal with a controlling spouse. I hope you find it helpful. Please let me know if you have any questions. :)
th-cam.com/video/xTKf1Wjndx8/w-d-xo.html
Absolutely. It's very sad that we get videos supposedly educating people on abuse yet continue to maintain gender divide and hence validate and further empower and enable the female abuser. I feel for women and men who have been victimised / abused. I also feel for men an women in same sex relationships with abusers. It also saddens me to hear someone who seems to care for those being abused, yet show no consideration for abused males .. and yet also talks about equal playing field. It triggers me each time I watch these videos for support and end up hearing about it being all about women. Relationships are partnerships, yes, equal .. not gender specific .. this just continues the abuse on men
@pk pk The video is about husbands and wies, not dads and daughters. No girl should have a husband/wife type relationship with their dad. That is sick. The video is not about boyfriends and girlfriends. If you are not married, it is not the same.
I wrote her about my controlling fiancee in Berlin and was not answered, women stick together bro
I'm a newly married man only 6months, we had more quarrels 6months than I have had 40yrs.
Everything spoken here are what my wife does to me.
She condemns my tastes and way of life, criticise decisions and projects I did or had before marrying her.
Extracts phrases and sentences out of context from my words and interprets it as she feels on thinks etc.
my wife does most of the things you said ... you said HE HE HE but everything you said goes to SHE too and i am going threw this 100% thank you for this video
edward rivera Your right Edward. This can absolutely go both ways! I’m happy this video was helpful for you and I’m sorry you’re in a relationship that is emotionally controlling. I hope these tips will help so you can get out of this unhealthy situation.
its tuff and not easy i get verbally insulted and yelled at and called names i would not call anyone .. and i do what i can not to stir up an issue and stay quiet at home and hardy talk in fear that a word i say will start a argument ..i come home from a hard day of work and 5 min walking in my own home and she finds something to be upset about and its something so small like a spoon left in the sink and she cleaned it and its a fight . I'm like so what its a spoon not a big deal but to her its a big dead and she don't want to clean it and in like Don't i will its just a spoon then I'm called an Asshole
Hi edward. I definitely understand how challenging it would be to talk to someone who starts arguments everything something that seems small comes up. With that, fights and arguments are ok to have, but it's all about what's said during the fights that cause them to bring you both together or tear you apart. Things like name-calling, yelling, degrading statements, interrupting the other person while they're talking or shutting down in a fight are just a few of the things that cause fights to get out of hand. Its hard to talk to someone who gets agitated so easily, so I recommend, when a fight starts, working on calming her down and guiding the conversation. If she's being verbally insulting you'll never solve the problem, so you'll have to tell her to not say mean things and focus only on solving whatever the issue is. Does this help?
i have said not to say things like that but she still says the words that hurt but looks like she has decided to leave to her country so this will give me a break
I really feel for you yes it goes both ways my friend is suffering badly so good you've noticed do something unfortunately my friend isn't there yet so I'm looking for any advice that may help me help her
I have a few of these signs in my marriage 😫😫
He is the best when it comes to recovery ex back💔💔😭
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Actually as long as I’m making and paying with full transparency while the wife meets nearly every thing you described
I can't believe that just with a phone call i made to Dr. Aguiyi 🥰🥰
I got my ex back within 48 hours interval. I had read some stuff about Dr. Aguiyi before i called him but i didn't know that all those stuff were so accurate until i got my ex back, After getting my ex back i taught it wise to share my testimony with every one on this website that Dr.Aguiyi is a real and powerful spell caster that rebuild any broken relationship or marriage with love spell. Do feel free to Contact Dr.Aguiyi via email: ( aguiyispellcaster@gmail.com) OR what app +2348151642717.
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I'm in a this kind of relationship for 3 years and now i'm suffering from depression. 😔
Why god doesn't help me 😔
Yes me also why God is helping us
M there with you
M dealing with depression as well
God help us all
Get out please
How do you take action? My husband doesn’t believe he is controlling.
It's important to stand up for yourself by not allowing to be treated a certain way. It's important to set boundaries and say "no" or tell your husband you're not going to engage in a conversation when he is being disrespectful or rude. Limits need to be set, because if you let things go without expressing how his behaviors and words impact you, he's just going to keep doing the same thing. He doesn't necessarily need to admit he's controlling or not, he just needs to listen to you when you tell him how you're effected by his behavior. I wish you the best.