I really believe the adults that I was fortunate enough to have in my life as a child and then teen helped me survive a very toxic and chaotic home life. My parents were both mentally unstable people who used me and my sibling as a pawn/weapon against the other. They were only married 5 years, but were separated for at least half that time. My mother described bringing me home from the hospital after I was born and being upset that my father had a house full of people ‘celebrating.’ they fought constantly and there was physical violence. My father was a cruel sociopath. My mother was very volatile and narcissistic. I was drawn to friends who had healthy home-lives and I felt loved and valued by many of these people. Nevertheless, I have spent my entire adult life trying to heal from my traumatic early life experiences. I have been fortunate in finding and marrying a wonderful man and we broke the cycle of dysfunction. We raised 3 healthy, well-adjusted and happy kids who will, thankfully, never know the extent of what I’ve tried to spare them.
@@juliesprik9479 I think escaping this cycle has been the greatest blessing in my life, and I truly thank God everyday. I don’t know how I was given such grace, but I will never waste it.
Vulnerability and healthy communication has helped me repair the relationship I have with my mother when she told me the traumatic events that happened to her I felt tons of empathy for her.
You are very fortunate. But sometimes that's not posstble. Some parents take advantage of our needs and we become like the monkeys in the Harlow experiment. Don't let the cycle continue to the next generation even if if means cutting ties permanently.
A few months before she passed I was able to feel empathy for my mother after understanding her own trauma growing up but I was never able to bond with her or feel affection for her. I'm so broken that I can only feel sorry for myself.
@@exceptionaltalentspc4954 You can heal. I hope you're able to find happiness and meaning as you move forward. Before I left home many years ago I talked to a priest about leaving and what things were like at home. I felt guilty leaving my mom even though she did some really terrible things to me. His advice was to run, not walk, as far away from there as I could get. I had a responsibility to God (my soul) to live the life given to me. That was the best advice anyone has ever given me.
Trauma can even start in the mother’s womb, if she is stressed or lives through something very shocking, it would affect her nervous cells which in turn would affect the development of the baby in the womb. I am a therapist and I just followed a 6 days online congress on trauma and resilience. Traumas developed in under 5 children are usually the ones that stayed within for the rest of your lives, unless you deal with them as soon as possible, and ensure full closure.
We really truly are what "they" make of us and with "they" I refer to parents, family, culture and the environment. Then, as adults we struggle to unlearn what has been taught and we struggle to overcome the trauma from being mistreated, neglected and undernourished while growing up.
I had a bad childhood so I'm constantly in fight or flight. ptsd anxiety depression so I have to be aware of that all the time. But there has been people along the way that have loved me and my faith is why I'm here to tell the story.
Same . Learning to love myself and others who have also feel unloved. That’s very healing. And of course my faith and God has been very good 😌 to me . 🙏🏻🙂🥰💕
YES, CONSTANTLY IN FIGHT OR FLIGHT, GOD YOU'RE SO RIGHT, I'm 69 and had a horrible life, and IT CANNOT BE FIXED. You either take me the way I am or don't take me at all.
This is so true! As an educator, I have been trying to tell school administrators and teachers this. I actually did a research study very similar to this while in graduate school. Now, I am reiterating this now that my daughter is all grown up. I am listening to her explain why she is so angry today, which is due to events from her childhood.
What happened to most children collectively is that they were told to stop using their imagination and forced to spend at least 7 hours a day in school, not including hours of homework, learning through memorization, reading and lectures and not through actual experience. You can gain knowledge with the first, but you gain wisdom with experience. Wisdom gives you a better foundation to navigate, cope, and overcome hurdles in life that they may face.
I kind of realized this problem for myself... I’ve become very depressed when I realized throughout my life I never have experienced anything. I can’t even remember the last time I had fun or had the time for it.
This is an important discussion.... I’m in the process of writing my book! I’ve had a pretty rough childhood but thank God I made it through. I’ve been physically & sexually abused an battle with Clinical Depression/Anxiety...
I am with you people think they know how to help l also suffer from complex PTSD where i suffer more than one truma in life it makes me angry when they have no idea what u have been thought
Trauma/generational abuse/neglect have always had costly consequences Mental/Emotional health is essential We all deserve to be free from our internal traumas
I am 64 years old Korean American woman. I have suffered too long, all the torture physical violations done by my brother when I was a child. I live in a life sentence with despair. My brother is a prominent figure in Korea, enjoying all the success.
SUNG I am so sorry for any and everything that you have been through 💔😔 I was born in foster care and aged out there was no good days abuse is a understatement I was torture 18+ years everyone that new say it nothing may God bring you some peace still searching for Mine💔💔💔💔💔😔
What infuriates me is that Nadine Burke Harris, Bruce Perry, Gabor Mate, Daniel Siegel HAVE BEEN BRINGING THIS ISSUE TO THE FOREFRONT FOR YEARS, but Oprah has a book and NOW ACEs gets its day in the sun?!! I’m glad it’s out there, but we didn’t think we needed to listen to the EXPERTS?!!!!!!
As someone who has studied the ACE Study since 2010, I've been exploring ways to neutralize experiences-memories of trauma. I had the honor to find out about the ACE Study, and then work with James Encinas who wrote WHEELING TO HEALING: UNDERSTANDING AND HEALING FROM ADVERSE CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES (he rode a bike across the U.S. twice). The final chapter of his book lists alternative healing therapies that stay away from re-traumatizing the victim. There is some real science to understand how the body can heal the mind and the mind can heal the body. I love to see videos like this...I wish healing for everyone.
As an adult adoptee adopted at 7 days old it’s actually been proven trauma goes back further for those of us that have been taken away from our 1st mothers we bonded with in utero, and then were given to the wrong biological mom. Even if we have a wonderful life/family it still is an traumatic imprint that changes us forever.
Our physiology and genetics affects us more than most of us would like to admit. I am not adopted but I can try to empathize, as best I can. There was a bond I had with my parents when they were alive. It came from recognizing my mannerisms and interests in them. Now that they’re gone, I feel like an orphan. I would imagine that an adopted child would instinctively search for those, and grieve the loss.
The thing that helped me to work on myself and work on forgiveness was one day I thought of what I knew about the life of a family member that was abusive toward me and I asked myself what kind of person would I have been if I had the same experience in life that she did and it hit me like a ton of bricks and I was able to not only forgive that person, but thank her for the Good things she DID do for me. RIP to her now.
I've started a book on what my brother and I went through as well. Trauma is trauma, no matter how small or big. Since you are able to read this, it means you have survived so far. Every day is a battle, but we all keep fighting. My brother is my inspiration to talk about childhood trauma and abuse, he is my inspiration to keep fighting through the pain, he didn't make it. I was 4 and he was 12, he was murdered by our mom and I found his body.
The reason why the first couple of months are so pivotal to your development is that that is when you form your attachment style with your caregiver. That is the foundational blueprint for all interactions going forward. In fact, most personality disorders are formed within the first year or two of life, from what sources I've read. This is why it is imperative that we as a society have services available for expecting parents (not only for mental development but physical of course) and that we offer to support to parents and their children early on, and continue to make sure they have easy access to such services to lessen the impact of traumatic events in life. The more readily available help is, the sooner the issues can be addressed and keep from further harm done to the child and family both mentally and physically.
@@davisholman6518 You mean it wasn’t horrible for you and those you knew. The civil rights movement was the death of lots of “colored” people. Lots of colored people were also murdered prior to the civil rights movement. What’s so great about that?
I've got 75 yrs of surviving various abuses from being sexually abused starting when I was a baby, being given to one abusive relative to another, to beatings, verbally condemned, raped, many pdychologixally & emotional traumas, religiously abused via whips @ times, & many more abuses, a very looonnnnggg story. I finally found me after decades of research reading books & taking psychology classes, talking to decent people in my life here 'n there, starting programs to help others & etc., to find me....not who I was told I was/am & not how I was/am treated. I believe "Love Overall Values Everyone"....which includes one's self...I could never hate. My relatives taught me how NOT to be. I am still dealing with repercussions from the gaslighting gossip/lies from past abusers, BUT, I finally realized in my senior years that tho I'm no better than anyone else....I'm no less than anyone else either. I control my (C)PTSD now ♥. Surviving abuses can take a life time to learn to live....not just 😥😒😉☺😁😍 survive & learn how to exist...but to live. Better late than never, eh? HUGS2U 💔♥♥♥
i totally agree. so glad oprah and dr perry are bringing light to this invisible subject. billions are affected by childhood traumas and it is not talked about often enough. understanding why people are the way will change us and the world.
She has the platform to bring this info to a lot more people thats for sure, however lots of Dr's and authors have been trying to bring this info to those affected by childhood trauma for many many years now. Part of the problem is that there are not enough trauma informed therapists who are qualified to treat patients who are no doubt suffering.
I have suffered by the hand of a jealous mother, abusive father and survived physically. However, I am injured emotionally and my self thoughts are sometimes unkind. Being compassionate to yourself is difficult because of the time wasted in doing things that didn't work out. This is because there is no buffer, everything falls on you. We are invisible to society. We are worth more dead than alive. Mental health is truly a philanthropic effort. Because the objective is to give to others the love and care they were deprived of. Governments would try, but it's a job for far too many. Doing something with heart gives life.
My heart bleeds profusely every, every day. It weakens me to the point of death. My children, sexually assaulted at a very young age, struggle in their lives. One tried suicide. I didn't know till 40 years later. ABUSE AGAINST CHILDREN HAS GOT TO STOP!
I agree with you completely! Children are so fragile. But we have a God who is merciful beyond our understanding. He can and will completely heal your children and all children of this horrific abuse. Believe in Him. The Devil is so active in this world. Yet he runs when he hears the name of Jesus!!
You said “How to fix ourselves.” That has the underlying assumption that something is wrong with us. How to heal and how to remove stigma from trauma is kinder.
@@knowledgevspower2418 Not yet. I work in the field, so have many books that detail the theory, research and clinical application of many areas explored in the book. It sounds like a really accessible resource for the general public. B. Perry is accomplished and well respected in the field.
@@HB-md8ly I totally understand what you are saying... for me - (and I just made a review about the book here on youtube) for me the book was a good introduction to the field - and I got a lot of value from it - as you mentioned it is very accessible to the general public - and for you, I guess it will not add anything new. what is your background if I may ask?
@@peanutsarecheap1997 it is all about the second, third, fourth chance we all need to have. Only a few of us have been made perfect the 1st time. Lord knows I'm on my 10th time. 😊
@@MrDan11422 Hello Interesting comment As soon as I read it I thought to myself What if leaving out that Ingredient actually made the Cake better? Just a thought... Blessings to all..
Very true. Child trauma in my life been effected Whole my adults life. Still exists and follow me now . Raised without parents, no food and verbally or physically abuse in Child House in Kazakhstan. I hated myself and self-worth so low. I am 54 now. So I probably never escape that painful hole in me. Well. Thank you for bring up that.
Heal your own childhood trauma.. It takes time and it is painful yes, but on the other side of this process is self-love and self-acceptance which is the best medicine to live in peace and wholeness. You won't need outside validation anymore as this will now come from within.
I had a decisive loss in the death of my mother. I became a nurse educator and tried to heal the 🌎. I was a corporate instructor for American Red Cross. Ran an ambulance service and raised 4 children. ENOUGH? Oh, I was a 7 y.o. GIRL when she died. Never knew her.
It's so basic...so obvious. You look at our society and it becomes crystal clear. Abuse and unhealed trauma being acted out everywhere you turn. Dr Gabar Mate has been talking about this for years
Gabor Mate is such an astounsihing and insightful human being. I could listen to him talk for hours...his words bring so much awareness and hope...as well as his voice is so soothing!
Absolutely sure can through childhood adulthood marriage oh yes sure can Oprah is so brave to open up to everyone I think she’s a blessing thank you Oprah🥰🙏
❤️Thank you for this info, very helpful to know!! It opened up my eyes 👀 instantly!! We all carry with something, no matter what age it happened but we all do.... 🙏
I know when my daughters were newborns and toddlers watching the Oprah Winfrey Show I heard Oprah talk about how important it is that children NOT hear or see or know that their parents are not getting along. Must've been the early 1990s. Also I had soooo many negative memories of my parents fighting when I was extremely young it didn't take much convincing. That unfortunately turned into even more personal sacrifices and suffering for me and the feeling and experience of being captive in a miserable marriage for decades to protect my children. And I watched the book launch yesterday moderated by Kristen Bell and Dax Shepherd from which the takeaway for me was (the importance of recognizing that childcare is work first of all but) that expecting moms and childcare givers to be eternal fonts of unconditional love when no one is caring for the moms and caregivers is hypocritical, a violation of the human rights of women, and counterproductive.
@@maruxa1996 He intentionally used my fear and protective instincts in addition to my undiagnosed and misdiagnosed (both of which he spearheaded) disabilities to control and manipulate me. I'm glad to see laws now being passed and considered on "coercive control" in England and a few states.
@@lucindanewcomb8769 I'm really sorry you had to go though all of that. Women are revered for their sacrifice while men are for their power and in this day and age we are starting to see changes but, there is sooo much more to do. I see your strength and will to keep going. You are worth it and I'm rooting for you. ❤️
@@shannonnonnahs6943 that’s what i was dealing with as a jr high school and high school. I hated school so much. And don’t fo to the shower room or bathroom. You best just wait till you get to McDonald’s or friendly.
@@DJMIXXTHAT HS ? thats what I got since the day I was born, by my sperm donor, and then he taught my sibs what I should expect from them, by the time I got to HS, abuse was what was expected, I thought it was normal. Sperm donor finally left this earth but my sibs are unrelenting... covert & overt malignant narcissists.
@@13579hee Hey, dont let it destroy your 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s,70s; you have A LOT of years left. Because I was targeted from the day I was born it took me TOO MANY YEARS to figure out what was really going on. You have your situation figured out. Try to find somebody who is able to guide you. Talk. I hope you find peace. added... I saw your post below ... find your chance to heal, good luck
Great director on this show He was going into a close up Of Gail But She was making one of Her "overly concerned" Faces, so he skillfully kept It a wide shot Great camera people as well
We have had it all backwards. We need to fully focus on Children for at least the first full 2 years of their life until a secure attachment is formed. I lived half of my life and it all came to a screeching halt when I wanted to live my purpose and hit a wall. It all referred back to childhood trauma. AND... also all of my father's own unresolved trauma that caused him to pass it along to me.
Yes!! So good to see this being shared!! THIS is why we change negative childhood memories! Because those implicit memories from childhood are "proving" who we are and how the world works. :) Change those memories to the opposite, positive, and empowering, and you change the "evidence" to "prove" who you want to become and what you want to achieve. :) Like changing the GPS coordinates to match the destination you want to get to. Neuroscience has discovered that not only can memories be changed, but they're already changing naturally and automatically - so we might as well change them to empowering :) We can still remember what originally happened, but it can become declarative memory instead of implicit memory. :)
Look up complex post traumatic stress disorder. There is also a test called the ACE test. Advertise childhood experiences. Look up Nadine Burke Harris. She explains it very well.
I think two months is such a narrow timeframe. I would say the first 6 years of life are crucial and even what happens after that can really shape life as adults.
Yeah, that’s the worst part, you can do EMDR to help process the traumatic memories but trusting other people is a struggle. I can befriend (on the surface) many people but don’t truly allow any of them in.
I can’t help but wonder if people watching this ever thinks about how systemic racism, police brutality, and many of issues that plague this country has had on marginalized people.
Accumulated neglect, abuses, uses. Absences of nurturing and personal interaction. Lack of individual personal development Hearded and treated like a transaction rather than a person. A human being. For many women the womanizing and misogyny.
It's not weird because even powerful people are human beings smart enough to know that life experiences help to shape who we are and how we move through the world.
This is not rocket science. All I did when my daughter was born was google " what makes a happy/ well adjusted child" and a book popped up and I ordered it from the library. It's literally called what make a child happy and it takes the most disfunctional families and finds out how the children were able to over come and thrive. It's the people who propped them up around them speaking positively about them and what they can do and are doing in life speaking in a positive/affirmative language. So, that's what we did. We surrounded ourselves with positive healthy people making a difference and living/loving their own lives. My husband and I left all the disfunction in our families behind and wrote a new story.
I freaked out during the L.A. riots in the 90's . I was a child and I lived close so I was worried that the riots would come to my home. With all the riots going on now I realise that the fear from my childhood is still with me now. I get panicked every time I see some clips of rioting.
I lived in San Fran at 18 then, I was literally the first person convicted of being part of the riots....don't get to judgy, the details are lame af.....admitting to picking up a t-shirt off the sidewalk, and taking a jacket from a looter running buy me....umm, yea. but I was noted in the paper for being the first conviction....it was funny. It was a crazy time.
Now consider the trauma that was cause to Black people after the beating of Rodney King by cops....... The trauma of generation after generation of us experiencing of violence from the State
How do these intelligent & educated people not know prior to all of this that the first 6 years of a child's life is the blueprint of their adulthood * I only wish is that people considering being parents be enlightened what parenting entails & it should definitely be taught in high school along with six education. I am just glad that my path is toward end of my life cause the way the world is ...no words & it would take years of small miracles to make the world decent, kind and nurturing GodSpeed to all the youth of tomorrow *
The easiest way to get over the woe is me syndrome and the bad someone else has done, is to forgive. Unless you forgive, you can not be free. Even when the opposition has not expressed any remorse. Forgive is the first step to Forgiveness.
Thank you, doctor Oprah? She isn't a doctor she is a talk show host. This comment is insulting towards medical professionals who have studied for years in their perspective fields.
@@bluecrow3755 🤣🤣 I love your way with words. I mistook your first comment as praising Oprah. I don't like her either. We just have different styles of communication. I don't like to put people down when I don't agree their comments.
I said that a long time ago. Its not what's wrong with you, it's what's happened to you. Oprah just beat me to it. My children's mentor said that in small group
I really believe the adults that I was fortunate enough to have in my life as a child and then teen helped me survive a very toxic and chaotic home life. My parents were both mentally unstable people who used me and my sibling as a pawn/weapon against the other. They were only married 5 years, but were separated for at least half that time. My mother described bringing me home from the hospital after I was born and being upset that my father had a house full of people ‘celebrating.’ they fought constantly and there was physical violence. My father was a cruel sociopath. My mother was very volatile and narcissistic. I was drawn to friends who had healthy home-lives and I felt loved and valued by many of these people. Nevertheless, I have spent my entire adult life trying to heal from my traumatic early life experiences. I have been fortunate in finding and marrying a wonderful man and we broke the cycle of dysfunction. We raised 3 healthy, well-adjusted and happy kids who will, thankfully, never know the extent of what I’ve tried to spare them.
So good to hear you had very good support. I didnt have a great mother either and she was abusive and extremely neglectful. God bless.
Glad you were able to break 💔 the cycle of abuse.For some people it's too deeply engrained.
@@juliesprik9479 I think escaping this cycle has been the greatest blessing in my life, and I truly thank God everyday. I don’t know how I was given such grace, but I will never waste it.
@@ginap5003 I am happy for you! God bless you and your family and friends 💗!
Thank you for sharing.
Vulnerability and healthy communication has helped me repair the relationship I have with my mother when she told me the traumatic events that happened to her I felt tons of empathy for her.
Ever the thought of what happened to Dad?
@Anita Washington it's coming over the borders and into the schools.
You are very fortunate. But sometimes that's not posstble. Some parents take advantage of our needs and we become like the monkeys in the Harlow experiment. Don't let the cycle continue to the next generation even if if means cutting ties permanently.
A few months before she passed I was able to feel empathy for my mother after understanding her own trauma growing up but I was never able to bond with her or feel affection for her. I'm so broken that I can only feel sorry for myself.
@@exceptionaltalentspc4954 You can heal. I hope you're able to find happiness and meaning as you move forward. Before I left home many years ago I talked to a priest about leaving and what things were like at home. I felt guilty leaving my mom even though she did some really terrible things to me. His advice was to run, not walk, as far away from there as I could get. I had a responsibility to God (my soul) to live the life given to me. That was the best advice anyone has ever given me.
I always hate the expression “children are resilient”.
Western kids are not.
Weird how that’s an expression. I don’t understand how this is true.
I know what you n mean. But youth does buffer a lot of things. It’s only later…
@Charlie James me too but just change children with 'people' whether old or young.
YEAH! ME TOO!!!!!!
Trauma can even start in the mother’s womb, if she is stressed or lives through something very shocking, it would affect her nervous cells which in turn would affect the development of the baby in the womb. I am a therapist and I just followed a 6 days online congress on trauma and resilience. Traumas developed in under 5 children are usually the ones that stayed within for the rest of your lives, unless you deal with them as soon as possible, and ensure full closure.
Yeah…even at the moment of conception
Highly recommend the book "the body keeps the score" to go along with this.
Wow! Thanks for the recommendation.
@@TT-di4qz my pleasure, it was a game-changer for me
Thank you for the recommendation
Reading it now!
We really truly are what "they" make of us and with "they" I refer to parents, family, culture and the environment. Then, as adults we struggle to unlearn what has been taught and we struggle to overcome the trauma from being mistreated, neglected and undernourished while growing up.
I had a bad childhood so I'm constantly in fight or flight. ptsd anxiety depression so I have to be aware of that all the time.
But there has been people along the way that have loved me and my faith is why I'm here to tell the story.
I have the same. My faith has been paramount in my healing
Same . Learning to love myself and others who have also feel unloved. That’s very healing. And of course my faith and God has been very good 😌 to me . 🙏🏻🙂🥰💕
YES, CONSTANTLY IN FIGHT OR FLIGHT, GOD YOU'RE SO RIGHT, I'm 69 and had a horrible life, and IT CANNOT BE FIXED. You either take me the way I am or don't take me at all.
Amen! God gets the Glory
Any trauma at any age and stage is seriously impactful just to be clear🤨
This is so true! As an educator, I have been trying to tell school administrators and teachers this. I actually did a research study very similar to this while in graduate school. Now, I am reiterating this now that my daughter is all grown up. I am listening to her explain why she is so angry today, which is due to events from her childhood.
What happened to most children collectively is that they were told to stop using their imagination and forced to spend at least 7 hours a day in school, not including hours of homework, learning through memorization, reading and lectures and not through actual experience. You can gain knowledge with the first, but you gain wisdom with experience. Wisdom gives you a better foundation to navigate, cope, and overcome hurdles in life that they may face.
I kind of realized this problem for myself... I’ve become very depressed when I realized throughout my life I never have experienced anything. I can’t even remember the last time I had fun or had the time for it.
Exactly why I homeschooled my kids!
Boo hoo
Very true
This is an important discussion.... I’m in the process of writing my book! I’ve had a pretty rough childhood but thank God I made it through. I’ve been physically & sexually abused an battle with Clinical Depression/Anxiety...
Stephen I am so sorry I know torture as well born in foster care aged out 18+ years of torture no way out no one cared😔💔💔💔💔💔😔
I am with you people think they know how to help l also suffer from complex PTSD where i suffer more than one truma in life it makes me angry when they have no idea what u have been thought
@@helenclark2104 Yes you got that right we’re both Overcomers tho
They are teaching “compassion”, the greatest superpower we have. Thank you both and much love to all!
I strongly recommend listening/ looking into Dr. Gabor Maté. He discusses these issues so well.
🙌🏾 yes!!…His work in this area is amazing
I totally agree!! Gabor Mate is an amazing human being.
Trauma is built into our veins and never parts. However violating another family brings much pain, and it is unnecessary.
Helloo
How are you doing? Hope you and your family are safe
Trauma/generational abuse/neglect have always had costly consequences
Mental/Emotional health is essential
We all deserve to be free from our internal traumas
That's So Powerful What He Said Towards The End Of The Commentary... That Many Of The Things We Are Experiencing Is A REACTION....
I am 64 years old Korean American woman. I have suffered too long, all the torture physical violations done by my brother when I was a child. I live in a life sentence with despair. My brother is a prominent figure in Korea, enjoying all the success.
May he ask for forgiveness, with tears of blood.
Thinking of you x
SUNG I am so sorry for any and everything that you have been through 💔😔 I was born in foster care and aged out there was no good days abuse is a understatement I was torture 18+ years everyone that new say it nothing may God bring you some peace still searching for Mine💔💔💔💔💔😔
I am so very sorry. *hug* from Scottsdale, Arizona, USA to my friend, Sung.❤️
WOW, please do take care and keep speaking out
What infuriates me is that Nadine Burke Harris, Bruce Perry, Gabor Mate, Daniel Siegel HAVE BEEN BRINGING THIS ISSUE TO THE FOREFRONT FOR YEARS, but Oprah has a book and NOW ACEs gets its day in the sun?!! I’m glad it’s out there, but we didn’t think we needed to listen to the EXPERTS?!!!!!!
Helloo
How are you doing? Hope you and your family are safe
Maybe that’s why Oprah is doing this then. Cause she knows if she does it, it will get the attention needed.
YES 👆👆👆
As someone who has studied the ACE Study since 2010, I've been exploring ways to neutralize experiences-memories of trauma. I had the honor to find out about the ACE Study, and then work with James Encinas who wrote WHEELING TO HEALING: UNDERSTANDING AND HEALING FROM ADVERSE CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES (he rode a bike across the U.S. twice). The final chapter of his book lists alternative healing therapies that stay away from re-traumatizing the victim. There is some real science to understand how the body can heal the mind and the mind can heal the body. I love to see videos like this...I wish healing for everyone.
As an adult adoptee adopted at 7 days old it’s actually been proven trauma goes back further for those of us that have been taken away from our 1st mothers we bonded with in utero, and then were given to the wrong biological mom. Even if we have a wonderful life/family it still is an traumatic imprint that changes us forever.
This strongly resonates with me!🙂
Our physiology and genetics affects us more than most of us would like to admit. I am not adopted but I can try to empathize, as best I can. There was a bond I had with my parents when they were alive. It came from recognizing my mannerisms and interests in them. Now that they’re gone, I feel like an orphan. I would imagine that an adopted child would instinctively search for those, and grieve the loss.
The thing that helped me to work on myself and work on forgiveness was one day I thought of what I knew about the life of a family member that was abusive toward me and I asked myself what kind of person would I have been if I had the same experience in life that she did and it hit me like a ton of bricks and I was able to not only forgive that person, but thank her for the Good things she DID do for me. RIP to her now.
Hello April
How are you doing? Hope you and your family are safe
Ok so I LOVE how they’re having these segments at CBS this morning! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I've started a book on what my brother and I went through as well. Trauma is trauma, no matter how small or big. Since you are able to read this, it means you have survived so far. Every day is a battle, but we all keep fighting.
My brother is my inspiration to talk about childhood trauma and abuse, he is my inspiration to keep fighting through the pain, he didn't make it. I was 4 and he was 12, he was murdered by our mom and I found his body.
The reason why the first couple of months are so pivotal to your development is that that is when you form your attachment style with your caregiver. That is the foundational blueprint for all interactions going forward. In fact, most personality disorders are formed within the first year or two of life, from what sources I've read. This is why it is imperative that we as a society have services available for expecting parents (not only for mental development but physical of course) and that we offer to support to parents and their children early on, and continue to make sure they have easy access to such services to lessen the impact of traumatic events in life. The more readily available help is, the sooner the issues can be addressed and keep from further harm done to the child and family both mentally and physically.
Imagine growing up before and during the Civil Rights Movement.
paradise if you compare it t life today.
@@josiecarl4671
Not really.
@@josiecarl4671 My friends & I feel great about being baby boomers. Life was NOT horrible then - don’t care what they say now.
@@davisholman6518
You mean it wasn’t horrible for you and those you knew. The civil rights movement was the death of lots of “colored” people. Lots of colored people were also murdered prior to the civil rights movement. What’s so great about that?
I love you Oprah. Thanks for shedding light on this, now I don't feel so alone in my PTSD. I want so badly to heal from my horrific abusive past.
Hello Susan
How are you doing? Hope you and your family are safe
Whole heartedly agree with those beautiful people are pointing out!! "What happened to you"
Hello Gina
How are you doing? Hope you and your family are safe
Thank you so much for raising this awareness. It will really go a long way...
I don't think we need Oprah on this subject. She has lost so much of her credibility since her debacle interview.
I had Nobody as a kid, so now I'm disabled. Oprah is a strong lady!
I’m so glad this healing work is making its way into the mainstream media.
That wording stops the shaming of those who are trauma survivors..shifts it away from blaming the victims..
I've got 75 yrs of surviving various abuses from being sexually abused starting when I was a baby, being given to one abusive relative to another, to beatings, verbally condemned, raped, many pdychologixally & emotional traumas, religiously abused via whips @ times, & many more abuses, a very looonnnnggg story. I finally found me after decades of research reading books & taking psychology classes, talking to decent people in my life here 'n there, starting programs to help others & etc., to find me....not who I was told I was/am & not how I was/am treated. I believe "Love Overall Values Everyone"....which includes one's self...I could never hate. My relatives taught me how NOT to be. I am still dealing with repercussions from the gaslighting gossip/lies from past abusers, BUT, I finally realized in my senior years that tho I'm no better than anyone else....I'm no less than anyone else either. I control my (C)PTSD now ♥. Surviving abuses can take a life time to learn to live....not just 😥😒😉☺😁😍 survive & learn how to exist...but to live. Better late than never, eh? HUGS2U 💔♥♥♥
i totally agree. so glad oprah and dr perry are bringing light to this invisible subject. billions are affected by childhood traumas and it is not talked about often enough. understanding why people are the way will change us and the world.
She has the platform to bring this info to a lot more people thats for sure, however lots of Dr's and authors have been trying to bring this info to those affected by childhood trauma for many many years now. Part of the problem is that there are not enough trauma informed therapists who are qualified to treat patients who are no doubt suffering.
I wish I could get my hands on that book. Sounds like the kind I need to get my hands on not only for me but my kids as well.
Thank you for sharing
I just started reading it... it is pretty good - much more that I expected - did you get it?
So true. Thank you Oprah and Dr. Bruce
Hello Judy
How are you doing? Hope you and your family are safe
I agree what happens in our youth can either make us better people in the future or it can make us worse.
You can’t fix what you don’t acknowledge.
Makes sense 👍
💯
Remember when Oprah interviewed Mo’Nique’s family about the abuse she’d been through without telling her
Exactly. I didn't forget how she treated Monique. That was a low down, dirty move. Typical for Oprah unfortunately.
@@malikastone wait, what? What happened!!?
I have suffered by the hand of a jealous mother, abusive father and survived physically. However, I am injured emotionally and my self thoughts are sometimes unkind. Being compassionate to yourself is difficult because of the time wasted in doing things that didn't work out. This is because there is no buffer, everything falls on you. We are invisible to society. We are worth more dead than alive. Mental health is truly a philanthropic effort. Because the objective is to give to others the love and care they were deprived of. Governments would try, but it's a job for far too many. Doing something with heart gives life.
My heart bleeds profusely every, every day. It weakens me to the point of death. My children, sexually assaulted at a very young age, struggle in their lives. One tried suicide. I didn't know till 40 years later. ABUSE AGAINST CHILDREN HAS GOT TO STOP!
I agree with you completely! Children are so fragile. But we have a God who is merciful beyond our understanding. He can and will completely heal your children and all children of this horrific abuse. Believe in Him. The Devil is so active in this world. Yet he runs when he hears the name of Jesus!!
You said “How to fix ourselves.” That has the underlying assumption that something is wrong with us. How to heal and how to remove stigma from trauma is kinder.
Thank y'all for this.🕊️🦉
She is absolutely right!
Finally! This book is life-changing for so many people and for the way we respond to children and adults in their everyday lives! Very exciting.
Hello Mary
How are you doing? Hope you and your family are safe
Hey Mary - did you read the book?
Yes so good. I just finished it
She is so right
I hope this book is healing for many people.
did you get the book?
@@knowledgevspower2418 Not yet. I work in the field, so have many books that detail the theory, research and clinical application of many areas explored in the book. It sounds like a really accessible resource for the general public. B. Perry is accomplished and well respected in the field.
@@HB-md8ly I totally understand what you are saying... for me - (and I just made a review about the book here on youtube) for me the book was a good introduction to the field - and I got a lot of value from it - as you mentioned it is very accessible to the general public - and for you, I guess it will not add anything new.
what is your background if I may ask?
I Think This Should Be A TV Series.
Tony did an excellent job with this interview!
I’m happy Oprah is being awareness to this topic. Thank you!
Important piece of work!
Hello
How are you doing? Hope you and your family are safe
Like baking a cake and don't add enough of one ingredient, chances are the cake will not turn out the correct way.
The great hope is we can remake it.
I like that.
I'm using it ... It make too much sense.
@@peanutsarecheap1997 it is all about the second, third, fourth chance we all need to have. Only a few of us have been made perfect the 1st time. Lord knows I'm on my 10th time. 😊
Good thing I don't like cake
@@MrDan11422
Hello
Interesting comment
As soon as I read it
I thought to myself
What if leaving out that
Ingredient actually made the
Cake better?
Just a thought...
Blessings to all..
Very true. Child trauma in my life been effected Whole my adults life. Still exists and follow me now . Raised without parents, no food and verbally or physically abuse in Child House in Kazakhstan. I hated myself and self-worth so low. I am 54 now. So I probably never escape that painful hole in me. Well. Thank you for bring up that.
Heal your own childhood trauma.. It takes time and it is painful yes, but on the other side of this process is self-love and self-acceptance which is the best medicine to live in peace and wholeness. You won't need outside validation anymore as this will now come from within.
God is Love
Thank you! What happened to you is so correct!
Great interview discussion & topic...🌟✨🌟
I had a decisive loss in the death of my mother.
I became a nurse educator and tried to heal the 🌎. I was a corporate instructor for American Red Cross. Ran an ambulance service and raised 4 children. ENOUGH? Oh, I was a 7 y.o. GIRL when she died. Never knew her.
congratulations for overcoming obstacles in your life. others have also had traumatic experiences. everybody handles things differently.
Investigate generational trauma also and how it affects groups like the Native Americans...
Love heals💜
Forgiveness heals💜
Self-forgiveness heals💜
Nature heals💜
Wisdom heals💜
Jesus heals
@@yeshalloween Christianity itself is a very traumatizing religion, from my perspective.
Forgiveness for some things is impossible. Absurd. God understands.... Protect children and animals. Please.
It's so basic...so obvious. You look at our society and it becomes crystal clear. Abuse and unhealed trauma being acted out everywhere you turn. Dr Gabar Mate has been talking about this for years
Gabor Mate is such an astounsihing and insightful human being. I could listen to him talk for hours...his words bring so much awareness and hope...as well as his voice is so soothing!
@@stephanie_smith Indeed. He's a gift. I always try to turn people on to him
And Dr Bruce is awesome 👏🏾 I know him personally
My childhood trauma had such a negative impact on my adulthood. Try and try and try I might. But overcoming it seems impossible.
thank you
Absolutely sure can through childhood adulthood marriage oh yes sure can Oprah is so brave to open up to everyone I think she’s a blessing thank you Oprah🥰🙏
sometimes you need to look at your past to know your future. best of luck to everybody. stay safe and healthy, mentally, emotionally, and physically.
ACEs ADVERSE CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES... best research on this topic with free screening...
How are you doing 😊😊
❤️Thank you for this info, very helpful to know!! It opened up my eyes 👀 instantly!! We all carry with something, no matter what age it happened but we all do.... 🙏
Hello Julie
How are you doing? Hope you and your family are safe
I think the worst kind of trauma damage is to those that don't realise they have experienced it
Oprah you are absolutely gorgeous !!!!!🙏🏽✊🏽
I know when my daughters were newborns and toddlers watching the Oprah Winfrey Show I heard Oprah talk about how important it is that children NOT hear or see or know that their parents are not getting along. Must've been the early 1990s. Also I had soooo many negative memories of my parents fighting when I was extremely young it didn't take much convincing. That unfortunately turned into even more personal sacrifices and suffering for me and the feeling and experience of being captive in a miserable marriage for decades to protect my children. And I watched the book launch yesterday moderated by Kristen Bell and Dax Shepherd from which the takeaway for me was (the importance of recognizing that childcare is work first of all but) that expecting moms and childcare givers to be eternal fonts of unconditional love when no one is caring for the moms and caregivers is hypocritical, a violation of the human rights of women, and counterproductive.
It's impossible and If you can pull it off it won't long until it catches up with you. Sooner or later your life can implode.
@@maruxa1996 He intentionally used my fear and protective instincts in addition to my undiagnosed and misdiagnosed (both of which he spearheaded) disabilities to control and manipulate me. I'm glad to see laws now being passed and considered on "coercive control" in England and a few states.
@@lucindanewcomb8769 I'm really sorry you had to go though all of that. Women are revered for their sacrifice while men are for their power and in this day and age we are starting to see changes but, there is sooo much more to do. I see your strength and will to keep going. You are worth it and I'm rooting for you. ❤️
@@maruxa1996 Thank you and such an insightful and concise comment. Thank you.
Bullying being molested being tortured being Humiliated.
I understand by personal experince. ✌
@@shannonnonnahs6943 that’s what i was dealing with as a jr high school and high school. I hated school so much. And don’t fo to the shower room or bathroom. You best just wait till you get to McDonald’s or friendly.
@@DJMIXXTHAT HS ? thats what I got since the day I was born, by my sperm donor, and then he taught my sibs what I should expect from them, by the time I got to HS, abuse was what was expected, I thought it was normal. Sperm donor finally left this earth but my sibs are unrelenting... covert & overt malignant narcissists.
Im sorry man. Im 29 at 23 I started to see how bullying from my childhood REALLY traumatized me. It destroyed my 20s and now I am so damn sad
@@13579hee Hey, dont let it destroy your 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s,70s; you have A LOT of years left. Because I was targeted from the day I was born it took me TOO MANY YEARS to figure out what was really going on. You have your situation figured out. Try to find somebody who is able to guide you. Talk. I hope you find peace. added... I saw your post below ... find your chance to heal, good luck
Great director on this show
He was going into a close up
Of Gail
But She was making one of
Her "overly concerned"
Faces, so he skillfully kept
It a wide shot
Great camera people as well
Hello Dorothy
How are you doing? Hope you and your family are safe
This also applies to AA people dealing with the trauma from slavery, jim crow, mass incarceration, red lining, police brutality, etc.
We have had it all backwards. We need to fully focus on Children for at least the first full 2 years of their life until a secure attachment is formed. I lived half of my life and it all came to a screeching halt when I wanted to live my purpose and hit a wall. It all referred back to childhood trauma. AND... also all of my father's own unresolved trauma that caused him to pass it along to me.
I agree...with everything u say...we are so fragile...we need to learn and forgive...
Hello 👋
How are you doing? Hope you and your family are safe
Yes!! So good to see this being shared!! THIS is why we change negative childhood memories! Because those implicit memories from childhood are "proving" who we are and how the world works. :) Change those memories to the opposite, positive, and empowering, and you change the "evidence" to "prove" who you want to become and what you want to achieve. :) Like changing the GPS coordinates to match the destination you want to get to. Neuroscience has discovered that not only can memories be changed, but they're already changing naturally and automatically - so we might as well change them to empowering :)
We can still remember what originally happened, but it can become declarative memory instead of implicit memory. :)
What kind of speciality in a therapist do I need to look for in order to do this?
@@lolacookie453 Hi Lola :) It's called Childhood Memory Transformation.
@@TheRemmertMethod thank you so much! I will look it up! 🙏🌈
Look up complex post traumatic stress disorder.
There is also a test called the ACE test. Advertise childhood experiences.
Look up Nadine Burke Harris. She explains it very well.
Delete Facebook. Get real life connections. I promise you will feel better.
I think two months is such a narrow timeframe. I would say the first 6 years of life are crucial and even what happens after that can really shape life as adults.
Yes trauma can still affect u. 😢🌺
I had a trauma at a young age, never trusted again
Yeah, that’s the worst part, you can do EMDR to help process the traumatic memories but trusting other people is a struggle. I can befriend (on the surface) many people but don’t truly allow any of them in.
I can’t help but wonder if people watching this ever thinks about how systemic racism, police brutality, and many of issues that plague this country has had on marginalized people.
Accumulated neglect, abuses, uses.
Absences of nurturing and personal interaction.
Lack of individual personal development
Hearded and treated like a transaction rather than a person. A human being.
For many women the womanizing and misogyny.
Hello Rebecca
How are you doing? Hope you and your family are safe
Can’t wait to read it
Oh, please.
Hello Sharon
How are you doing? Hope you and your family are safe
It's on my list
Been listening to the audiobook since yesterday, it’s really good!
This is good...thank you!
Watching powerful people promote basic realizations about life is weird.
It's not weird because even powerful people are human beings smart enough to know that life experiences help to shape who we are and how we move through the world.
I don't care what people say -- I REALLY miss my daily Oprah. She is the voice of reason amid a crazy world.
Helloo
How are you doing? Hope you and your family are safe
This is not rocket science. All I did when my daughter was born was google " what makes a happy/ well adjusted child" and a book popped up and I ordered it from the library. It's literally called what make a child happy and it takes the most disfunctional families and finds out how the children were able to over come and thrive. It's the people who propped them up around them speaking positively about them and what they can do and are doing in life speaking in a positive/affirmative language. So, that's what we did. We surrounded ourselves with positive healthy people making a difference and living/loving their own lives. My husband and I left all the disfunction in our families behind and wrote a new story.
Profound.
I freaked out during the L.A. riots in the 90's . I was a child and I lived close so I was worried that the riots would come to my home. With all the riots going on now I realise that the fear from my childhood is still with me now. I get panicked every time I see some clips of rioting.
I lived in San Fran at 18 then, I was literally the first person convicted of being part of the riots....don't get to judgy, the details are lame af.....admitting to picking up a t-shirt off the sidewalk, and taking a jacket from a looter running buy me....umm, yea. but I was noted in the paper for being the first conviction....it was funny. It was a crazy time.
Tear down the old to build the new
Now consider the trauma that was cause to Black people after the beating of Rodney King by cops....... The trauma of generation after generation of us experiencing of violence from the State
How do these intelligent & educated people not know prior to all of this that the first 6 years of a child's life is the blueprint of their adulthood *
I only wish is that people considering being parents be enlightened what parenting entails & it should definitely be taught in high school along with six education.
I am just glad that my path is toward end of my life cause the way the world is ...no words & it would take years of small miracles to make the world decent, kind and nurturing
GodSpeed to all the youth of tomorrow *
We all know how Dad can get! Keep your reperation! He reigns forever! This is the judgement!
It's all about context in the question
QUEEN OPRAH IS THE BEST THANK YOU MAMMA YOU INspier CHANGE
After Oprah challenging The Queen, why not challenge everyone else. What’s wrong with her????
This is good stuff 👏
The easiest way to get over the woe is me syndrome and the bad someone else has done, is to forgive. Unless you forgive, you can not be free. Even when the opposition has not expressed any remorse. Forgive is the first step to Forgiveness.
Thank you, Dr Oprah
Thank you, doctor Oprah? She isn't a doctor she is a talk show host. This comment is insulting towards medical professionals who have studied for years in their perspective fields.
@@bluecrow3755 you will need to elaborate because I don't know what you are trying to say.
@@bluecrow3755 🤣🤣 I love your way with words.
I mistook your first comment as praising Oprah. I don't like her either. We just have different styles of communication. I don't like to put people down when I don't agree their comments.
@@starrynight1329 right on Sorry about the confusion, she's the worst and steadman was always a prop lol,anyway enjoy the rest of your day☀️
@@bluecrow3755 you too 😁
I said that a long time ago. Its not what's wrong with you, it's what's happened to you. Oprah just beat me to it. My children's mentor said that in small group