First I'd ask them if everything was okay. Then do the interview and followed by coaching them that having anyone come inside with them at the interview is not encouraged...it could be nobody told them that wasn't standard and try and not to let that cloud my judgement on next steps. But I think I would give them a second interview regardless so it gives them an opportunity to prove themselves
Had it happen. I parked the parent, had a conversation with the candidate, then RSed for a "parent free" interview. It can be an intimidating process, but it's not as scary as it seems. (Deep breath on both sides.) Also had a parent try to negotiate benefits. 👀🤦🏻♀️
If I would have asked my parents to go to a job interview with me they would have laughed me out of the house. Before I was driving I rode my bike to job interviews or rode the bus.
I had an interview on a time crunch (~30 minutes after I got off work, 20 minutes away from my job), right after I got my temps, so my mother was my lift, but she did not speak for me or anything.@@alal7835
"You know better than that!" Believe me, as someone who works in higher ed, no they don't. If I had a dollar for every student who both didn't know his or her parent was going to pull something like this and saw the shame and humiliation that crossed their faces, I wouldn't have to work. It's an older generation thing.
My dad insisted on going to my financial planning meeting with a financial counselor. I have to keep those kinds of things secret from him. When he goes to those things he tends to dominate the conversation.
My mom would call companies and pretend to be me lmao - and then I'd get home later and she'd be like, "You have an interview next week." I didn't even know she was applying or anything. She only did this when I was in university/ right out of high school, and I ended up getting all of the jobs she set out for me, but it was both good and bad. Bad for obvious reasons, bc growing up and straight into my adulthood, I relied on her/let her take care of most adulting things - finances, getting jobs, etc. This seemed fine at first, but it really, really shattered my inner confidence as I got older. It was really frustrating knowing that I was fully capable of doing these tasks/taking responsibility of these tasks, but I was also terrified of taking these tasks on since I'd never actually needed to take control of them/take the responsibility for them. So all parents out there, I DO NOT recommend doing this for your kids. Supporting them, vs. taking control of their decisions/major life choices during crucial developmental life stages are 2 different things.
Absolutely! I felt like my mom didn't teach me any of those crucial skills & just hid it/ did it all herself so that she could control it. @@fluffytail6355
My parents insisted on taking me to my interview for a place at veterinary school. They hated each other and fought the whole way, a 2 hour drive. I left the car and went straight to the interview where I corpsed and failed miserably. I was 17, I wanted to tell my parents to leave me be but my entire childhood was about trying to avoid making them angry because I thought I caused their fights. So I don't blame the kids in this, what kind of parents want to be in the interview with their kids? Even if the kid asks them?
That's so terrible. I'm hoping that at least this motivates you to have some sense of Independence and to find a way to move away when you have more saved up money or and are older. Some jobs offer a live in room/unit and if that's not an option maybe getting a friend or roommate or another family member to live with is better.
(Edit: y’all missed the past tense. It hasn’t been an issue for 10 years as I’m well into my 30s and settled down with my own family). My mom is that parent. She’d set things up for me and ask for applications while I was standing right there without even talking to me first. It was embarrassing and, no, it was not my fault or a reflection on me.
You have to set her some boundaries. If you're old enough to go to job interviews, you're old enough not to let your mother smother you with misdirected love.
You mom is definitely the problem. Sure hope she doesn’t mind when you live in her basement forever because no one will hire you with her level of smothering.
@@malinalikeskpopyou understand high schoolers can work right. if this person was being driven to their interviews because they’re too young for a car, their parents can force their way into the interview.
As a teenager myself.. I'm glad my parents aren't like that. What the hell? 😂 Next I'm gonna be hearing parents are going with their kids to their first day on the job
I know a guy who was on his last year of medical school but failed an exam so he had to retake the whole year. His mom emailed the professor basically saying he had a vendetta against her son and that it wasn't fair to hold him back. I thought the mom was solely to blame until she told me they crafted the email together. He's 30! The future of medicine...
people have been entitled brats for time immemorial, it's not spelling our demise or anything. ive encountered tons of haughty entitled doctors in their 60s and older
One time I entered a cooking competition at school (I wanted to be a chef) that would lead onto a bigger national competition and I spent hours coming up with a menu on my own, buying ingredients and practicing etc. I was really proud of how my final dish turned out and tbh I thought it was the best out of everyones. The judges took an extra long time to decide the winner and they chose someone else. One of the judges later told me in confidence that my dish was the best but they didn’t choose me because my mum had called them freaking out and panicking because she thought I’d left the garlic at home😂 the judges thought I wouldn’t be mature enough to handle the next stage of the competition as they assumed I’d gotten a lot of help from my mum. Even though she thought she was doing a nice thing, it kinda screwed me over in the end!!
@@yeahyeah3013 Nope, entirely the mother’s fault. Back the hell off your kids and let them grow, there’s a reason doctors cut the umbilical cord, and the cord is not a leash that permanently binds us to them and their will.
@cryptarisprotocol1872 Yeah, so the baby doesn't die. Once that placenta comes out, it's just a useless organ that will eventually end the child's life if the Ambilicachord is not cut. Also, the placenta doesn't stay attached to the mom. It comes out. So, idk why you thought that the baby and mom would just be stuck forever like that, but nope.
@@KittyUnicorn56XD It won’t end the child’s life, it falls off naturally after a few days. Many people choose not to cut the umbilical cord and instead keep the placenta wrapped and with the baby for a few days until the cord falls off naturally. Some say it’s because there’s extra blood etc in the placenta that they want the baby to get, some just have personal reasons. I’m not entirely sure why doctors cut the umbilical cord. One reason may be that it can take a few hours to finish birthing the placenta, and so you can’t take the baby to be cleaned and weighed until that’s finished. There could be a risk to the baby’s life if the baby staying with the mum would prevent it from having necessary treatment, but that’s only needed if there were complications or the baby wasn’t healthy when it was born. I’d have to ask my mum, but I was born at home so I don’t think the Midwife cut the umbilical cord.
My dad wanted to do that for my brother in case the interviewer “tried some weird mind games” on him. Unsurprisingly, my dad has had a very hard time being employed by someone who isn't family, and has worked almost all my life in a workshop on our backyard where he fixes people's speakers, he's never made a lot of -or even enough- money but he's refused multiple job and educational offers because he hates following rules and to his own detriment has a hard time making rules for himself. I mean I love my dad but he's kind of a mess in that sense...
It’s the whole thing where you want to take care of your kids to the point you don’t zoom out and realize how you’re stunting their growth by not letting them potentially fumble more.
I think generally speaking overbearing parents think they're smarter and better than their kid in every way and there's no world in which any decision the kid would make would be as good if the parent just did it themselves. They essentially want a puppet.
THIS. My mom would call companies and pretend to be me lmao - and then I'd get home later and she'd be like, "You have an interview next week." I didn't even know she was applying or anything. She only did this when I was in university/ right out of high school, and I ended up getting all of the jobs she set out for me, but it was both good and bad. Bad for obvious reasons, bc growing up and straight into my adulthood, I relied on her/let her take care of most adulting things - finances, getting jobs, etc. This seemed fine at first, but it really, really shattered my inner confidence as I got older. It was really frustrating knowing that I was fully capable of doing these tasks/taking responsibility of these tasks, but I was also terrified of taking these tasks on since I'd never actually needed to take control of them/take the responsibility for them. So all parents out there, I DO NOT recommend doing this for your kids. Supporting them, vs. taking control of their decisions/major life choices during crucial developmental life stages are 2 different things.@@RachelDee
Yeah, most of these parents are 'desperate' but not in the sense most young people now believe. They just lived in a time in which not everyone made it to adulthood so they are overprotective as most of them saw and experienced very real horrors of the old times. At least my dad and grandpa both were like this. My dad was part of the silent generation (born in 1941) and he literally witnessed an execution during the Hungarian Revolution and my grandpa served in WW II as a soldier. Seeing things like that doesn't make the person healthy and trusting. These parents just want their children to live and thrive, but can't accept that the times have changed drastically due to fear of 'what if...' scenarios in their head. They shouldn't be blamed by anyone, not even Erin. No one asked to be born into turbulent times and be mentally disturbed by what happened to them and to their family who lived at those times. In other words they are desperate to protect and if anyone needs to blame something, blame our history of wars and human cruelty.
Awww hell no. Not even for a high school new grad. No. If I was interviewing someone and their parent came with them it woud be an immediate no. The interview would not even happen. I would tell both of them how inappropriate it was and that they are hurting the grad's chances of getting a job anywhere and that would be the end of it. Just because you're still on Mom and Dad's health and car insurance doesn't mean they come to a job interview with you.
@@billcipherproductions1789 I disagree. Having the parent wait out in the car shows good support system. Having the parent come in to the jterview would make me wonder if the young person can function on their own. Being in uncomfortable situations and figuring it out is part of growing up and maturing as an adult. The interviewer should recognize the type of job and applicant they have, and adjust the interview to that somewhat. Having a parent come in to the interview is not ok, especially if the applicant is a college graduate. You made t through college but you can't go on a job interview without your mom? No.
Driving them to the interview and staying in the car while the child goes to the interview is not out of line. Going into the business or interview is most definitely overstepping boundaries!
I can’t believe this. Can’t believe it’s actually this bad. If I had a candidate show up with a parent, I’d just end the interview, not waste anyone’s time.
If a parent shows up, tell them to wait somewhere else so you can conduct the interview privately. If they start kicking up a fuss, you know the parent is the insane one and not the candidate. You can usually tell by demeanour and body language. Make a decision from there.
@@Mdksupreme1 Honestly in my teens I would work in a housing management company that hired a lot of teens and young adults for the summer to mow lawns and do gardening or assist in maintenance work. And you'd have a lot of parents just show up at the workplace or worse, to the customer sites where we would work, and try to run the work (or in some cases, actually do the work for them lmao). If the parent can't let the kid go to a job interview alone, I would not risk hiring the kid and having the parent become my problem.
Yaaa helicopter parents don't often ask permission from the kids for this type of stuff. I honestly can't fathom blaming the child If you want them to not be there you have to prep for it like it's a drug deal. Get a burner phone, have an alibi for why you're gonna be gone during the time frame of the job interview.
I know someone who brought his mother to the interview. She came into the lobby with him and tried to go into the actual interview. The interviewer told her she couldn't come in with him. She made a face at the interviewer and stayed behind. Needless to say, he didn't get the job.
I had the opposite problem. When my mother couldn’t find a job, I created a CV for her and responded to about 100 vacancies, to show her that she is demanded specialist
I did the same thing for my mum after a toxic workplace unfairly dismissed her (really sh***y situation she left her job to help a friend start a new business, business got bigger the friend brought in some awful people who were incredibly rude) she was dismissive of her abilities and I had to tell her 'You've been working in this industry for 25 years, you know what you're doing'
I once asked my dad to give me a lift home after a job interview i had years ago. This man came in and waited inside the office and introduced himself to my interviewers after a came out. I thought he knew better. Obviously I didn’t get the job haha
My mom has accompanied me to some interviews, and she's always nervous that something is going to happen to me 😅 She doesnt enter the office, just stays in the parking lot or in a coffee shop nearby
This is so real !!! My mom does the same she would use her connections to schedule interviews and exams without even talking with me about them, and if that was not enough she calls me, and also all young adults in general, ungrateful and lazy because according to her I do not take enough efforts. I mean I know she is just trying to be helpful from her part. But I think parents should wait to help untill children ask for their help.
My best boss was a FOH manager where I waitressed. When teens/20s came in with paper resumes and a parent hovering at their shoulder, he made a show of of tearing it up and saying he would never hire someone who couldn't follow the hiring instructions. (The sign in the window said to apply online.) This performance apparently got through to a few "a handshake gets you a job" Boomers.
Oh God that mentality drove me NUTS while I was looking for work. I wouldn't get call backs and my parents and in-laws were like, just show up and ask for the manager.... like in what world would a manager at an office building let me in without a meeting?... that's a security risk in most cases. But they refused to understand that the hiring market was different now and just nagged me that I didn't want Ir enough
it took my husband telling my parents off that "anyone asking for the manager would immediately be denied any job" for them to finally understand that isn't how it works. My dad WAS a manager was the worst part
I do want to note that, for SOME virtual interviews you don’t have to dress up. My interview for software engineering at Microsoft, they said to dress whatever way we were most comfortable. I just had a regular non graphic t-shirt on. And yes, I did get the job. I was really hoping and assuming that they meant what they said and I guess they did, which was honestly surprising.
haha welcome to tech. the place where fashion and classiness goes to die. trust me, i live in the city where microsoft was founded and has its headquarters in :D i'm not complaining tho. as a woman i appreciate the local culture of no expectations to look fancy whenever outside
I wouldn't bring my mom to a job interview, but I brought her when I was looking for an apartment to rent. In my area there are very few apartments on rent and landlords are super suspicious. They want a lot of warranties that you'll be able to pay. There's a lot of demand so they can afford to be picky. Bringing my mom meant that I'm not just a girl on her own with her first job, that if I ever have problems with money my parents can cover for me. It's unlikely that I'll ever need it, but if it makes the landlord feel better
I did that for my first apartment too. My dad just knows better what to look out for and it can be quite overwhelming when there are a lot of applicants. But I would never bring him for a job interview
Hmm...that never occurred to me to do, and I've been getting my own jobs since....1983? LOL What would I do? I'd ask the parent politely to sit out in the waiting area or in their car during the interview.
Absolutely! Watch the video I tagged in this (it’s a good guide) and remember that your youth is a super power 💪🏼 be enthusiastic, curious, and follow directions EXACTLY 👍 you got this!
Why is everything blamed on millennials. If I was bringing my 22 new college grad to an interview I would have needed to have them when I was 14. Most of our kids are TODDLERS.
For a second I thought you were talking about miniors who are still getting the hang of It 😂 I remember my mom walked in with me for my first job interview, one cuz it was my first one but also because it was huge and I’ve never been to somewhere like that before, I think she walked in with me for some other ones too but was never there for the actual interview, she was either in the back just in case I had questions for the paperwork but I know it but only for some that she walked in with me, generally she just stayed in the car and waited till I was done before I was 17 cuz my first job was at 16 and I know I walked in completely by myself by 17 at the latest, and now that I’m 18, reaching 19, it will be the first time I drive by myself on the first try to a job interview soon since I’m 18 and I know eventually I will have to drive alone with nobody in the car on the first try, don’t get me wrong I do drive by myself but only when I do where I’m going so this will be the first time I go alone with nothing exempt a GPS since I use a GPS to go to anywhere but yea adults shouldn’t have there parents with them at their job interview or at least have them in the car or something or in the back
I agree, it’s generally the parents cuz yea it’s pretty normal in the first interview but good parents will eventually tell them its time to go on your own generally before their 18 so they can develop independence and they need to prepare them for how to deal with things alone for the future when they aren’t there anymore to help you, it’s important for parents to draw a line to their kids at some point so by the time their 18 they got the hang of it, also if their still doing this at 18 then the parent may be enabling this because most parents would just say no or just wait in the parking lot, heck at least explain to them what to do and teach them what is needed such as your social security number, birth certificate, I remember during the pandemic for my first job I needed to prove I got the vaccine, and it’s best to write things down like interview questions and certain things they are talking about during the interview and it’s good to look up interview questions so you can prepare, kids need to sometimes get a small push from their parents but some parents don’t even teach them the necessary things instead of teaching them to be more independent, I know for me I’m still struggling with basic things cuz I just take longer and I’m still working on It so sometimes I need a small push from my parents to be more independent but a small push and be huge improvement if they are parenting properly and giving them the tools they need to succeed in life cuz they won’t be there forever
i brought my mom to my interview... as my driver lol. she waited for me in the car while i filled out my application, then drove me to the working interview! parents can provide valuable emotional and financial/practical support during a job hunt- but please let your child grow outside of you and support them from a distance!! excluding extenuating circumstances such as interpreting, a caregiver to a disabled candidate, etc. a parent should- at most, be waiting in the lobby or parking lot while their adult child has an interview.
My friend is a survivor of MSBP. Her parents trapped her in the house & refused to let her go for interviews unless she let them come. Despite knowning how unprofessional it was. She managed to got out. But struggles to keep a shelter or get food, as her parents destroyed her careers 4 times.
Notice how this is only cringe when a poor/middle class person does it. When it's a nepo baby being introduced in a random company party and skipping the interview altogether it's suddenly "networking".
I could have sworn you said "parrot" in the beginning and I cycled through like six different opinions about it until i proofread my recent audio memory 😅
as a millenial born literawlly one year "too early" to be counted as a genZ i regularly forget that the oldest millenial is around 47 now and totally could have a child my own age by now. So comments like this really shock me like WHO wants their parent at an interview?!
WTF ain't no way this is real.😅 You have to be independent once you start college not in a financial sense but just in your academic and professional development. It's one thing to ask for advice but having your parent hold your hand at an interview or doctors appointment is a no go. 😂
Aa someone who has taken my parent to an interview, i can speak to this a little bit. A lot of companies (especially small tech companies) do the first round of interviews in coffee shops or other public areas near the office to look cool. I got an interview in a city that i had never been to, and the interview was scheduled to happen in a coffee shop in a very chaotic part of downtown. My dad offered to drive me, and since it's a public coffee shop, he sat a few tables away. IMO, it's not that weird. It all depends on the context.
What would you suggest for people who either have disabilities or parents of autistic people with disabilities? My nephew does well with people he knows bit going to an interview with a stranger under high pressure, he is liable to have a complete meltdown before he even gets through the door. So far his interviews have been on Zoom calls so im just outside of the camera view. How would we handle an interview person interview while being professional?
Absolutely. I used to work in recruitment. The amount of mothers ringing about their sons. Sometimes they weren't sure what job the son had applied which was at least helpful in ending the call! Another time I was like "you have a very womanly voice... John". 😂😂😂
This makes me value my mom. For her adult child, she will call doctors offices and anything else I need help with or just don’t have the guts to stand up for myself and she fixes it happily, but when I was 16 interviewing for my first job, she DID sit out in the parking lot and continues to let me do work and school independently
I dated a lad who took his dad to a job interview and it was his idea not his dads. He didnt see any issue with his dad being there while all of us including his friends were saying how unprofessional it was to take 'daddy' to interview with him.
My current job is a job where they tell you to wear jeans and comfortable closed toe shoes to the interview since we work with dogs and part of the interview is to do a walk through with the animals. We have had people show up with their significant others, children and pets expecting everyone ( including toddlers) to be able to join them for the whole process of the interview. We don't even have chairs in our lobby because there is rarely a reason for anyone not on the clock to be in our bldg for more than a few minutes max. Some people don't think ahead.
I’m genz, my parents made me get a job at 16 and I’ve worked ever since and I’m 25 now and I’m in college right now working on an engineering degree. it’s mommy and daddy pay for everything and they never have to figure out anything on their own nor do they have any responsibilities they get to go to college and only focus on school and nothing else
Can we consider that it can be a dynamic Parent/Child? Why always blame either and not both? Maybe the Parent is setting it up because the "Child" is passive. Maybe they are being asked.Maybe they are doing it because they want the "kid" out of the house 🤣. I am not setting an interview for my daughter... But if she's 25 and scrolling tiktok on my couch I will get her a job! 😂
Honestly im with you. Parents oughta quit babying them. Theyre adults. Like im all for helping them prepare (thats kinda your job as the parent) but a job interview is where your kid needs to be independent
My mom waited for me in the parking lot. Yet somehow the interviewer kinda read my mind or something and said why is your mom here(in the parking lot). Ofc I didn’t get the job. so maybe waiting in the parking lot wasn’t okay too.😂
My mom would do a "version" of this. She would come with me to the interview place, say a few encouraging things before going to a coffee shop or store nearby, letting me go into the interview building myself, and then meet up with me for lunch afterwards. She did this my first day of university because I often have panic attacks before or after high-stress unfamiliar situations, and having that familiar face bookending the situation helps. She never did this again while I was in university (I was fine after that first day). It's not about her interfering or not allowing me to be an adult or independent, if I asked her not to she would back off, it's really more about her knowing my stressors and providing a bit of quiet support. I've never found this problematic, although I can see how this idea could get out of control. I think it depends on the parent/child relationship, and also whether you have a more individualistic or collectivistic mindset. I think modern American corporate structures really undervalue the nuances of community and collaboration, both in the workplace and in society at large (inclusive of varied family structures, and cultural norms). No matter how I slice it my parents are and have been my greatest asset - but that doesn't have to negate my own, individual efforts and independence.
Honestly, I 100% blame the parents. Unless they were coerced or something, they are supposed to be the ones who know how jobs work and know better than to go to the job interview with the kid. Furthermore, I cant imagine most young people of an age to apply to a job(college grad for instance) would even want their parents to join them. I feel like it would be off putting for the kid. In fact, I would imagine a good chunk of these parents pressured the kids into bringing them to the interview. Helicopter parents who want to be hovering over their kids at all times and never letting them experience independence
I just can't live a normal life without this type of help. No, I can't "figure it out" on the way. Some people need it, although it may not be always be a parent.
THANK YOU for making a interview video💕 Im 19 and just starting out in the job situation, already done 1 or 2 interviews before but i never know whats the appropriate thing to prepare for or do or say. I feel like parents should prep their kids for these and give step by step do’s and donts, but GOING TO THE INTERVIEW THEMSELVES?? Even i can see thats too far like we dont need to be babysat we just need guidance first. Then let us try.
Wait what... I've only worked at the place j work now (🌮🔔) and I applied online and then went back to ask about my application and when I did that I got told the date of my interview, and I went BY MYSELF and I was only in high school.. there was 1 person with me but they were there to ask about applying after I got done with my interview, but neither of my parents were there... it's insane to me that GROWN ADULTS would bring a parent
lol. I was JUST thinking that maybe I should go to my 19 yo daughter’s job interview … just to give them a quick 30 second blurb about the fact she’s level 1 autistic, and her strong qualities…. Because she’s totally gonna freeze, or cry, and they need to know why so they maybe give her a chance. 🤷♀️
I'm Gen Z and a late bloomer, at that. I get pretty bad anxiety sometimes and changing jobs has been super hard each time I've done it... But I cannot even IMAGINE asking my parent to come with me!? That would only make things worse, imo. I'd feel babied and incapable. That would be so embarrassing- how do you explain something like that?😅😅
Oooohhh PARENT. I literally thought she was saying parrot at first. I was like "why are soany people just walking around with birds?! That can't be right."
my mum tried to force me to go ask for jobs when I was a teenager, and I tried to explain that "that's not really how it works anymore..." and she went, "FINE! I'll go in and ask myself!" and I tried to warn her that if a mother is asking for their teenager they DEFINITELY don't want to hire me... lo and behold they just told her to go away 😮💨! obviously!
Look, I've had job interviews ever since I was 15. I'm blind, and while I do ask my sister on advice on clothes when I'm unsure, I make it very clear that she can't come past the door with me. Just drive me, put me by the door, and I'll go inside myself. I had an interview at a local Chic-Fil-A once, and she craved some, so I made sure she left the parking lot and ordered from another branch close by. So, if I can go into job interview with a disability and show the company that I'm capable of problem-solving (like asking questions to make sure I'm in the right place) before I sit down for the interview, there's no reason why anyone else can't... Look at it from the employer's point of view. What would you think of someone who came in and kept looking at their mom/dad for answers? How would they do if they were hired? Probably not too well. Honestly, and call me harsh, unless that parent was like an ASL interpreter and their presence is necessary for communication barriers, if I see that you've brought a parent to a job interview, I wouldn't even entertain that interview. Nah-uh. A college graduate should have an understanding of how job interviews work, because they learned and used their research skills. I'm Gen Z, and I hold my generation to high and reasonable standards.
I find this appalling (and truly scary) that the umbilical cord hasn’t been cut… We wonder why we’re in the state we’re in with some of these late Millennials/Gen Z…. I’m late Gen X (1979) and I’m a true Aries. I did everything on my own. I would be utterly embarrassed if my parents went to an interview with me. Are we ever going to grow up?
CONTROL! It’s all about CONTROL! We live in a world where almost everyone wants to either try to control their lives and/or others… We forget that only truly GOD is in control of everything… #REPENT and #TurnToJESUS
The absolute oldest Millennial’s were born in 1981. In order to have a 25 year old child they would have to have had a baby at 18 years old. This could only possibly apply to like 1% of millennials. Also, generations are just Zodiac signs for old people, can we please stop tossing them around so casually? It’s really silly.
I am an elder millennial, and when I was in college (late '00s) I was a student advisor and helped incoming freshmen select courses and register for their first semester of college. I was HORRIFIED by the number of parents who came with (or sometimes even in lieu of!) their 18+ yr-old child. The student almost always looked mortified and like they were not at all ok with this arrangement, and the parent did all or most of the speaking for them, even though I made a point of exclusively addressing the student. But it was so sad to see. I would try to turn them away when possible, but they'd often refuse to let their "kid" register without them present.
Was just having a discussion with my 17 year old last night about kids not being independent. She’s graduated a little early from independent studies and is taking a college class on campus with 20+ year olds. She’s noticing a lack of communication, problem solving, and leadership skills. I joked/not joked that’s why I gave her a phone and a bus pass at 11, and encouraged her to plot out her own summer plans and get herself there.
I can't fully agree with you, but I have a similar story to share. About a year ago, I landed an internship at a company outside of my university's connections. I was 20 with no college degree studying bachelors. I set up the interview on my own, which was a big deal. I was the youngest person in the company who didn't have any family/friendship connections with the CEO. However, on the day of the interview, my dad felt the need to accompany me to ensure my safety during the internship. At first, I was upset with him for stepping in, but after talking it out, he explained the risks of being a young woman in a country like Iran and how litigious can any workplace be for a young Iranian woman . Now, looking back, I appreciate his concern.
I know it’s not the same, but my mom wants to go in my next psychiatric doctor appointment (I’m 29) and I don’t know how to tell her it makes me feel like a kid, but because I had to stop working and she’s providing for me I feel almost obligated? Help :(
As a mom of two daughters in their 20s, hell no would I ever call, attend, email or anything else. If they cannot dlearn that no’s happen in life then I truly failed as a parent. I won’t even make their doctor’s appointments unless it’s a true emergency. I’m all for mock up, interviews, helping them pick out an outfit, even guiding them to look into the company. But to sit in an interview with them…NOPE!
Its giving Archie Bunker: “I didn’t need government assistance to get a job” Edith: “thats true, his Uncle got it for him” back in the day when a referral was made in person 😂
yeah i often blame parents for failing to raise their children. Especially parents who kick their kids out at 18 with no job, no accommodation, nothing. Should you not be preparing your child for this event? Making sure they have a job at 16, saved up money to rent a place etc
When I was 22 my mom, without me knowing, followed me 45 minutes to a job interview. Then she called me freaking out that I'd gone to a hotel... it was taking place in the conference room because their main office space was being renovated. Really lovely that I had that in mind while i was trying to get my first job.
NO, this is not a generational BUT a cultural difference. You don't seem to be familiar with collectivist cultures... Also, with all the shady scams out there, yes, it kinda make sense for a person in their early 20s to be chaperoned by a relative with more life experience to check the company out with them.
I am a successful GenX professional and I’d bet my silent gen Mom would call around to get an interview for me. She worries about my choices. But she has never gone into an interview with me, even when I started working at 16. I thankfully, do not have kids. If I did, they’d get their own damn interviews like the rest of us.
That‘s no joke- I’ve seen it happen. In the old times, daddy just made a phone call, now they’re here negotiating their offspring’s salary. And why not give them , say, ten percent , as long as they make sure their kids turn up in time, preferably showered, dressed and sober. Could be the new version of a family business.
I was eating and just listening, not watching and my brain head parrot... and I was like why would you ever show up with a bird on an interview. My brain could not accept the reality of people going to a job interview with a parent... and yes, I completly agree with you: it's the parent's fault. I have so many questions...
My mama waited in the parking lot. She didn’t lift a finger for me besides a ride to my job interview, I didn’t want to put the stress on her. The fact that these 20 something year olds DO NOT feel any shame for letting their parent(s) do that… honestly it’s a little impressive. I could never.
How to immediately get your child turned down for a job because you’re a control freak parent that won’t let go. 😂😂😂 I will never understand this “Back in my day, we didn’t get a participation trophy.” gene, but then they do stuff like this and feel entitled to do so.
I had a parent call my office and try and get directions for their baby boy lost on the way to his interview....he was 21. If he had called me, I could have talked him through directions. But Mom was playing mediator so he was late and instantly terminated. Orientation Rule #1.
Why would anyone go with you? Unless they gave you a ride, but definitely drop them off.... So weird. The amount of people who dont dress to impress, is shocking.
What would you do if someone brought their parent *literally* into the interview with them? 😅
First I'd ask them if everything was okay. Then do the interview and followed by coaching them that having anyone come inside with them at the interview is not encouraged...it could be nobody told them that wasn't standard and try and not to let that cloud my judgement on next steps. But I think I would give them a second interview regardless so it gives them an opportunity to prove themselves
“This interview has already ended.”
“But we didn't start yet.”
“You ended it by bringing your mommy. GTFO!”
Had it happen. I parked the parent, had a conversation with the candidate, then RSed for a "parent free" interview. It can be an intimidating process, but it's not as scary as it seems. (Deep breath on both sides.) Also had a parent try to negotiate benefits. 👀🤦🏻♀️
Not hire them lol
I’d say, “I’ve seen enough, thank you for your time.”
“Or at least wait in the parking lot” 😂😂😂
If I would have asked my parents to go to a job interview with me they would have laughed me out of the house. Before I was driving I rode my bike to job interviews or rode the bus.
I had an interview on a time crunch (~30 minutes after I got off work, 20 minutes away from my job), right after I got my temps, so my mother was my lift, but she did not speak for me or anything.@@alal7835
That’s actually what my mom did at my first interview. Got the job though.
"You know better than that!" Believe me, as someone who works in higher ed, no they don't. If I had a dollar for every student who both didn't know his or her parent was going to pull something like this and saw the shame and humiliation that crossed their faces, I wouldn't have to work. It's an older generation thing.
no but their parents didnt go to their job interviews ???
Woah, I follow you on Tumblr. Small world 😂
My dad insisted on going to my financial planning meeting with a financial counselor. I have to keep those kinds of things secret from him. When he goes to those things he tends to dominate the conversation.
"You know better than that." Was directed at the parents. And yes they do know better.
I’m speechless. The parent is IN the room with them during the interview? How does that even work? That would be a big no for me.
If I was the interviewer I would just tell them come back when you grow up and walk out.
@@alal7835That would only humiliate the person being interviewed when it’s more likely an issue with the parent, just like the video says.
@@alal7835I'm glad you dont interview
My mom would call companies and pretend to be me lmao - and then I'd get home later and she'd be like, "You have an interview next week." I didn't even know she was applying or anything. She only did this when I was in university/ right out of high school, and I ended up getting all of the jobs she set out for me, but it was both good and bad. Bad for obvious reasons, bc growing up and straight into my adulthood, I relied on her/let her take care of most adulting things - finances, getting jobs, etc. This seemed fine at first, but it really, really shattered my inner confidence as I got older. It was really frustrating knowing that I was fully capable of doing these tasks/taking responsibility of these tasks, but I was also terrified of taking these tasks on since I'd never actually needed to take control of them/take the responsibility for them. So all parents out there, I DO NOT recommend doing this for your kids. Supporting them, vs. taking control of their decisions/major life choices during crucial developmental life stages are 2 different things.
Overfunctioning for kids doesn’t set them up for success. Parents need to teach the skills, not perform them.
Absolutely! I felt like my mom didn't teach me any of those crucial skills & just hid it/ did it all herself so that she could control it. @@fluffytail6355
My parents insisted on taking me to my interview for a place at veterinary school. They hated each other and fought the whole way, a 2 hour drive. I left the car and went straight to the interview where I corpsed and failed miserably. I was 17, I wanted to tell my parents to leave me be but my entire childhood was about trying to avoid making them angry because I thought I caused their fights. So I don't blame the kids in this, what kind of parents want to be in the interview with their kids? Even if the kid asks them?
oh I hate that. That day was supposed to be about you and they just made it about themselves and even made you fail your interview, terrible..
That's so terrible. I'm hoping that at least this motivates you to have some sense of Independence and to find a way to move away when you have more saved up money or and are older. Some jobs offer a live in room/unit and if that's not an option maybe getting a friend or roommate or another family member to live with is better.
Yeah but she said college graduates. Not kids. Which btw you were a kid and did nothing wrong ❤
(Edit: y’all missed the past tense. It hasn’t been an issue for 10 years as I’m well into my 30s and settled down with my own family). My mom is that parent. She’d set things up for me and ask for applications while I was standing right there without even talking to me first. It was embarrassing and, no, it was not my fault or a reflection on me.
Well maybe as a child there's nothing much you can do about it besides yapping and complaining, but as an adult you can't let this happen.
You have to set her some boundaries. If you're old enough to go to job interviews, you're old enough not to let your mother smother you with misdirected love.
You mom is definitely the problem. Sure hope she doesn’t mind when you live in her basement forever because no one will hire you with her level of smothering.
@@malinalikeskpopyou understand high schoolers can work right. if this person was being driven to their interviews because they’re too young for a car, their parents can force their way into the interview.
If you're an adult, it is reflection on your ability to set boundaries and communicate them.
I dress up for phone call interviews, it sets up a good mindset
As a teenager myself.. I'm glad my parents aren't like that. What the hell? 😂 Next I'm gonna be hearing parents are going with their kids to their first day on the job
I know a guy who was on his last year of medical school but failed an exam so he had to retake the whole year. His mom emailed the professor basically saying he had a vendetta against her son and that it wasn't fair to hold him back. I thought the mom was solely to blame until she told me they crafted the email together. He's 30! The future of medicine...
people have been entitled brats for time immemorial, it's not spelling our demise or anything. ive encountered tons of haughty entitled doctors in their 60s and older
One time I entered a cooking competition at school (I wanted to be a chef) that would lead onto a bigger national competition and I spent hours coming up with a menu on my own, buying ingredients and practicing etc. I was really proud of how my final dish turned out and tbh I thought it was the best out of everyones. The judges took an extra long time to decide the winner and they chose someone else. One of the judges later told me in confidence that my dish was the best but they didn’t choose me because my mum had called them freaking out and panicking because she thought I’d left the garlic at home😂 the judges thought I wouldn’t be mature enough to handle the next stage of the competition as they assumed I’d gotten a lot of help from my mum. Even though she thought she was doing a nice thing, it kinda screwed me over in the end!!
I am so sorry that happened to you
no i blame the judges too bc that's a wild assumption to make based on a phone call and a lame reason to not let you win
@@yeahyeah3013
Nope, entirely the mother’s fault. Back the hell off your kids and let them grow, there’s a reason doctors cut the umbilical cord, and the cord is not a leash that permanently binds us to them and their will.
@cryptarisprotocol1872 Yeah, so the baby doesn't die. Once that placenta comes out, it's just a useless organ that will eventually end the child's life if the Ambilicachord is not cut. Also, the placenta doesn't stay attached to the mom. It comes out. So, idk why you thought that the baby and mom would just be stuck forever like that, but nope.
@@KittyUnicorn56XD It won’t end the child’s life, it falls off naturally after a few days. Many people choose not to cut the umbilical cord and instead keep the placenta wrapped and with the baby for a few days until the cord falls off naturally. Some say it’s because there’s extra blood etc in the placenta that they want the baby to get, some just have personal reasons.
I’m not entirely sure why doctors cut the umbilical cord. One reason may be that it can take a few hours to finish birthing the placenta, and so you can’t take the baby to be cleaned and weighed until that’s finished. There could be a risk to the baby’s life if the baby staying with the mum would prevent it from having necessary treatment, but that’s only needed if there were complications or the baby wasn’t healthy when it was born. I’d have to ask my mum, but I was born at home so I don’t think the Midwife cut the umbilical cord.
It's insane. I would love to hear the rational from some of the parents, desperation has to be a factor.
My dad wanted to do that for my brother in case the interviewer “tried some weird mind games” on him. Unsurprisingly, my dad has had a very hard time being employed by someone who isn't family, and has worked almost all my life in a workshop on our backyard where he fixes people's speakers, he's never made a lot of -or even enough- money but he's refused multiple job and educational offers because he hates following rules and to his own detriment has a hard time making rules for himself.
I mean I love my dad but he's kind of a mess in that sense...
It’s the whole thing where you want to take care of your kids to the point you don’t zoom out and realize how you’re stunting their growth by not letting them potentially fumble more.
I think generally speaking overbearing parents think they're smarter and better than their kid in every way and there's no world in which any decision the kid would make would be as good if the parent just did it themselves.
They essentially want a puppet.
THIS. My mom would call companies and pretend to be me lmao - and then I'd get home later and she'd be like, "You have an interview next week." I didn't even know she was applying or anything. She only did this when I was in university/ right out of high school, and I ended up getting all of the jobs she set out for me, but it was both good and bad. Bad for obvious reasons, bc growing up and straight into my adulthood, I relied on her/let her take care of most adulting things - finances, getting jobs, etc. This seemed fine at first, but it really, really shattered my inner confidence as I got older. It was really frustrating knowing that I was fully capable of doing these tasks/taking responsibility of these tasks, but I was also terrified of taking these tasks on since I'd never actually needed to take control of them/take the responsibility for them. So all parents out there, I DO NOT recommend doing this for your kids. Supporting them, vs. taking control of their decisions/major life choices during crucial developmental life stages are 2 different things.@@RachelDee
Yeah, most of these parents are 'desperate' but not in the sense most young people now believe. They just lived in a time in which not everyone made it to adulthood so they are overprotective as most of them saw and experienced very real horrors of the old times.
At least my dad and grandpa both were like this. My dad was part of the silent generation (born in 1941) and he literally witnessed an execution during the Hungarian Revolution and my grandpa served in WW II as a soldier.
Seeing things like that doesn't make the person healthy and trusting. These parents just want their children to live and thrive, but can't accept that the times have changed drastically due to fear of 'what if...' scenarios in their head.
They shouldn't be blamed by anyone, not even Erin. No one asked to be born into turbulent times and be mentally disturbed by what happened to them and to their family who lived at those times.
In other words they are desperate to protect and if anyone needs to blame something, blame our history of wars and human cruelty.
Awww hell no. Not even for a high school new grad. No. If I was interviewing someone and their parent came with them it woud be an immediate no. The interview would not even happen. I would tell both of them how inappropriate it was and that they are hurting the grad's chances of getting a job anywhere and that would be the end of it. Just because you're still on Mom and Dad's health and car insurance doesn't mean they come to a job interview with you.
I mean it depends. Unless the parents are answering the questions, I wouldn't mind as it shows they just have a good support system.
@@billcipherproductions1789 I disagree. Having the parent wait out in the car shows good support system. Having the parent come in to the jterview would make me wonder if the young person can function on their own. Being in uncomfortable situations and figuring it out is part of growing up and maturing as an adult. The interviewer should recognize the type of job and applicant they have, and adjust the interview to that somewhat. Having a parent come in to the interview is not ok, especially if the applicant is a college graduate. You made t through college but you can't go on a job interview without your mom? No.
@@billcipherproductions1789 Cool username btw!
One of my bosses used to mark resumes with "show up with Mom".
I've never had a parent go to a job interview, but my dad did help me get the money I was owed when I left my first job.
exactly what a loving/caring father would do.
I thought you meant driving them there, not coming to the interview WITH them!
Driving them to the interview and staying in the car while the child goes to the interview is not out of line. Going into the business or interview is most definitely overstepping boundaries!
THANK YOU! My mother is that kind of parent, and getting her to back off is frucking hard!
I can’t believe this. Can’t believe it’s actually this bad. If I had a candidate show up with a parent, I’d just end the interview, not waste anyone’s time.
Why though?
@@Mdksupreme1I think maybe they feel that as long as they have that employed they would have to deal with a pushy parent.
I would also tell them maybe come back when they grow up.
If a parent shows up, tell them to wait somewhere else so you can conduct the interview privately. If they start kicking up a fuss, you know the parent is the insane one and not the candidate. You can usually tell by demeanour and body language. Make a decision from there.
@@Mdksupreme1 Honestly in my teens I would work in a housing management company that hired a lot of teens and young adults for the summer to mow lawns and do gardening or assist in maintenance work. And you'd have a lot of parents just show up at the workplace or worse, to the customer sites where we would work, and try to run the work (or in some cases, actually do the work for them lmao). If the parent can't let the kid go to a job interview alone, I would not risk hiring the kid and having the parent become my problem.
Yaaa helicopter parents don't often ask permission from the kids for this type of stuff. I honestly can't fathom blaming the child
If you want them to not be there you have to prep for it like it's a drug deal. Get a burner phone, have an alibi for why you're gonna be gone during the time frame of the job interview.
I know someone who brought his mother to the interview. She came into the lobby with him and tried to go into the actual interview. The interviewer told her she couldn't come in with him. She made a face at the interviewer and stayed behind. Needless to say, he didn't get the job.
That was 100% on the parent(s). Seeing as a parent / guardian / guiding adult is ideally preparing the next generation for life in the real world….
I had the opposite problem. When my mother couldn’t find a job, I created a CV for her and responded to about 100 vacancies, to show her that she is demanded specialist
I did the same thing for my mum after a toxic workplace unfairly dismissed her (really sh***y situation she left her job to help a friend start a new business, business got bigger the friend brought in some awful people who were incredibly rude) she was dismissive of her abilities and I had to tell her 'You've been working in this industry for 25 years, you know what you're doing'
I once asked my dad to give me a lift home after a job interview i had years ago. This man came in and waited inside the office and introduced himself to my interviewers after a came out. I thought he knew better. Obviously I didn’t get the job haha
i cannot believe this is real, holy shit
Erin can I just say ever since finding your videos, looking for a job/interviews don’t scare me like they used to
My mom has accompanied me to some interviews, and she's always nervous that something is going to happen to me 😅
She doesnt enter the office, just stays in the parking lot or in a coffee shop nearby
That's different though. She's talking about parents who come IN, even into the interview! Your mom giving you a ride is nothing.😊
This is so real !!! My mom does the same she would use her connections to schedule interviews and exams without even talking with me about them, and if that was not enough she calls me, and also all young adults in general, ungrateful and lazy because according to her I do not take enough efforts.
I mean I know she is just trying to be helpful from her part. But I think parents should wait to help untill children ask for their help.
My best boss was a FOH manager where I waitressed. When teens/20s came in with paper resumes and a parent hovering at their shoulder, he made a show of of tearing it up and saying he would never hire someone who couldn't follow the hiring instructions. (The sign in the window said to apply online.) This performance apparently got through to a few "a handshake gets you a job" Boomers.
Oh God that mentality drove me NUTS while I was looking for work. I wouldn't get call backs and my parents and in-laws were like, just show up and ask for the manager.... like in what world would a manager at an office building let me in without a meeting?... that's a security risk in most cases. But they refused to understand that the hiring market was different now and just nagged me that I didn't want Ir enough
it took my husband telling my parents off that "anyone asking for the manager would immediately be denied any job" for them to finally understand that isn't how it works.
My dad WAS a manager was the worst part
I do want to note that, for SOME virtual interviews you don’t have to dress up. My interview for software engineering at Microsoft, they said to dress whatever way we were most comfortable. I just had a regular non graphic t-shirt on. And yes, I did get the job. I was really hoping and assuming that they meant what they said and I guess they did, which was honestly surprising.
haha welcome to tech. the place where fashion and classiness goes to die. trust me, i live in the city where microsoft was founded and has its headquarters in :D i'm not complaining tho. as a woman i appreciate the local culture of no expectations to look fancy whenever outside
This reminds me of that Everybody Loves Raymond episode when Robert is interviewing for a job and Marie keeps making it worse. 😂
That was hilarious
I wouldn't bring my mom to a job interview, but I brought her when I was looking for an apartment to rent. In my area there are very few apartments on rent and landlords are super suspicious. They want a lot of warranties that you'll be able to pay. There's a lot of demand so they can afford to be picky. Bringing my mom meant that I'm not just a girl on her own with her first job, that if I ever have problems with money my parents can cover for me. It's unlikely that I'll ever need it, but if it makes the landlord feel better
I did that for my first apartment too. My dad just knows better what to look out for and it can be quite overwhelming when there are a lot of applicants.
But I would never bring him for a job interview
Did I consult with my dad about interviews and resume building? Absolutely! Was he there at the interview with me? Absolutely NOT!
Hmm...that never occurred to me to do, and I've been getting my own jobs since....1983? LOL What would I do? I'd ask the parent politely to sit out in the waiting area or in their car during the interview.
Do you have any advice on how to do an interview for your first job/how to do an interview as a teen?
Absolutely! Watch the video I tagged in this (it’s a good guide) and remember that your youth is a super power 💪🏼 be enthusiastic, curious, and follow directions EXACTLY 👍 you got this!
Why is everything blamed on millennials. If I was bringing my 22 new college grad to an interview I would have needed to have them when I was 14. Most of our kids are TODDLERS.
I think these parents need therapy, that is a sick level of attachment!
100% on the parent. How much more do we need to baby our kids.
For a second I thought you were talking about miniors who are still getting the hang of It 😂 I remember my mom walked in with me for my first job interview, one cuz it was my first one but also because it was huge and I’ve never been to somewhere like that before, I think she walked in with me for some other ones too but was never there for the actual interview, she was either in the back just in case I had questions for the paperwork but I know it but only for some that she walked in with me, generally she just stayed in the car and waited till I was done before I was 17 cuz my first job was at 16 and I know I walked in completely by myself by 17 at the latest, and now that I’m 18, reaching 19, it will be the first time I drive by myself on the first try to a job interview soon since I’m 18 and I know eventually I will have to drive alone with nobody in the car on the first try, don’t get me wrong I do drive by myself but only when I do where I’m going so this will be the first time I go alone with nothing exempt a GPS since I use a GPS to go to anywhere but yea adults shouldn’t have there parents with them at their job interview or at least have them in the car or something or in the back
I agree, it’s generally the parents cuz yea it’s pretty normal in the first interview but good parents will eventually tell them its time to go on your own generally before their 18 so they can develop independence and they need to prepare them for how to deal with things alone for the future when they aren’t there anymore to help you, it’s important for parents to draw a line to their kids at some point so by the time their 18 they got the hang of it, also if their still doing this at 18 then the parent may be enabling this because most parents would just say no or just wait in the parking lot, heck at least explain to them what to do and teach them what is needed such as your social security number, birth certificate, I remember during the pandemic for my first job I needed to prove I got the vaccine, and it’s best to write things down like interview questions and certain things they are talking about during the interview and it’s good to look up interview questions so you can prepare, kids need to sometimes get a small push from their parents but some parents don’t even teach them the necessary things instead of teaching them to be more independent, I know for me I’m still struggling with basic things cuz I just take longer and I’m still working on It so sometimes I need a small push from my parents to be more independent but a small push and be huge improvement if they are parenting properly and giving them the tools they need to succeed in life cuz they won’t be there forever
i brought my mom to my interview... as my driver lol. she waited for me in the car while i filled out my application, then drove me to the working interview! parents can provide valuable emotional and financial/practical support during a job hunt- but please let your child grow outside of you and support them from a distance!! excluding extenuating circumstances such as interpreting, a caregiver to a disabled candidate, etc. a parent should- at most, be waiting in the lobby or parking lot while their adult child has an interview.
My friend is a survivor of MSBP. Her parents trapped her in the house & refused to let her go for interviews unless she let them come.
Despite knowning how unprofessional it was.
She managed to got out. But struggles to keep a shelter or get food, as her parents destroyed her careers 4 times.
Notice how this is only cringe when a poor/middle class person does it. When it's a nepo baby being introduced in a random company party and skipping the interview altogether it's suddenly "networking".
Once I got the job, my parent called my new employer and thanked them. 😅😅😅
I could have sworn you said "parrot" in the beginning and I cycled through like six different opinions about it until i proofread my recent audio memory 😅
as a millenial born literawlly one year "too early" to be counted as a genZ i regularly forget that the oldest millenial is around 47 now and totally could have a child my own age by now. So comments like this really shock me like WHO wants their parent at an interview?!
WTF ain't no way this is real.😅 You have to be independent once you start college not in a financial sense but just in your academic and professional development. It's one thing to ask for advice but having your parent hold your hand at an interview or doctors appointment is a no go. 😂
Aa someone who has taken my parent to an interview, i can speak to this a little bit.
A lot of companies (especially small tech companies) do the first round of interviews in coffee shops or other public areas near the office to look cool. I got an interview in a city that i had never been to, and the interview was scheduled to happen in a coffee shop in a very chaotic part of downtown. My dad offered to drive me, and since it's a public coffee shop, he sat a few tables away. IMO, it's not that weird. It all depends on the context.
What would you suggest for people who either have disabilities or parents of autistic people with disabilities?
My nephew does well with people he knows bit going to an interview with a stranger under high pressure, he is liable to have a complete meltdown before he even gets through the door. So far his interviews have been on Zoom calls so im just outside of the camera view. How would we handle an interview person interview while being professional?
Parent even suggesting to come in a job interview should be considered a crime of trying to sabotage another person's career possibilities.
Gonna be honest, was not watching the actual video so I heard “parrot” and was confused for 30 seconds lol I😂
Absolutely. I used to work in recruitment. The amount of mothers ringing about their sons. Sometimes they weren't sure what job the son had applied which was at least helpful in ending the call! Another time I was like "you have a very womanly voice... John". 😂😂😂
@AdviceWithErin. I got the job! Just waiting on the background check. Thank you for all your videos!
At first I understood "parrots" and that seemed less strange than parents. :D
What a BIG red flag tbh. Like.. let them young adults explore and figure it out themselves. They cant be spoonfed their entire life
I work with internship programs and can confirm that we ALWAYS get phone calls from their parents.
This makes me value my mom. For her adult child, she will call doctors offices and anything else I need help with or just don’t have the guts to stand up for myself and she fixes it happily, but when I was 16 interviewing for my first job, she DID sit out in the parking lot and continues to let me do work and school independently
I dated a lad who took his dad to a job interview and it was his idea not his dads. He didnt see any issue with his dad being there while all of us including his friends were saying how unprofessional it was to take 'daddy' to interview with him.
My current job is a job where they tell you to wear jeans and comfortable closed toe shoes to the interview since we work with dogs and part of the interview is to do a walk through with the animals. We have had people show up with their significant others, children and pets expecting everyone ( including toddlers) to be able to join them for the whole process of the interview. We don't even have chairs in our lobby because there is rarely a reason for anyone not on the clock to be in our bldg for more than a few minutes max. Some people don't think ahead.
I’m genz, my parents made me get a job at 16 and I’ve worked ever since and I’m 25 now and I’m in college right now working on an engineering degree. it’s mommy and daddy pay for everything and they never have to figure out anything on their own nor do they have any responsibilities they get to go to college and only focus on school and nothing else
And then came my parents...they didn't even drive me to the interview place because they want me to become tough 😂😂
This has to be the eldest millennial unless we are talking about a kid in their teens. 😂
Can we consider that it can be a dynamic Parent/Child? Why always blame either and not both? Maybe the Parent is setting it up because the "Child" is passive. Maybe they are being asked.Maybe they are doing it because they want the "kid" out of the house 🤣.
I am not setting an interview for my daughter... But if she's 25 and scrolling tiktok on my couch I will get her a job! 😂
Honestly im with you. Parents oughta quit babying them. Theyre adults. Like im all for helping them prepare (thats kinda your job as the parent) but a job interview is where your kid needs to be independent
My mom waited for me in the parking lot. Yet somehow the interviewer kinda read my mind or something and said why is your mom here(in the parking lot). Ofc I didn’t get the job. so maybe waiting in the parking lot wasn’t okay too.😂
My mom would do a "version" of this. She would come with me to the interview place, say a few encouraging things before going to a coffee shop or store nearby, letting me go into the interview building myself, and then meet up with me for lunch afterwards. She did this my first day of university because I often have panic attacks before or after high-stress unfamiliar situations, and having that familiar face bookending the situation helps. She never did this again while I was in university (I was fine after that first day). It's not about her interfering or not allowing me to be an adult or independent, if I asked her not to she would back off, it's really more about her knowing my stressors and providing a bit of quiet support. I've never found this problematic, although I can see how this idea could get out of control. I think it depends on the parent/child relationship, and also whether you have a more individualistic or collectivistic mindset. I think modern American corporate structures really undervalue the nuances of community and collaboration, both in the workplace and in society at large (inclusive of varied family structures, and cultural norms). No matter how I slice it my parents are and have been my greatest asset - but that doesn't have to negate my own, individual efforts and independence.
Honestly, I 100% blame the parents. Unless they were coerced or something, they are supposed to be the ones who know how jobs work and know better than to go to the job interview with the kid. Furthermore, I cant imagine most young people of an age to apply to a job(college grad for instance) would even want their parents to join them. I feel like it would be off putting for the kid. In fact, I would imagine a good chunk of these parents pressured the kids into bringing them to the interview. Helicopter parents who want to be hovering over their kids at all times and never letting them experience independence
I just can't live a normal life without this type of help. No, I can't "figure it out" on the way. Some people need it, although it may not be always be a parent.
THANK YOU for making a interview video💕 Im 19 and just starting out in the job situation, already done 1 or 2 interviews before but i never know whats the appropriate thing to prepare for or do or say. I feel like parents should prep their kids for these and give step by step do’s and donts, but GOING TO THE INTERVIEW THEMSELVES?? Even i can see thats too far like we dont need to be babysat we just need guidance first. Then let us try.
I think a lot of it is just that these people fail to realize they're adults now. You gotta deal with your own big boy problems.
Wait what... I've only worked at the place j work now (🌮🔔) and I applied online and then went back to ask about my application and when I did that I got told the date of my interview, and I went BY MYSELF and I was only in high school.. there was 1 person with me but they were there to ask about applying after I got done with my interview, but neither of my parents were there... it's insane to me that GROWN ADULTS would bring a parent
lol. I was JUST thinking that maybe I should go to my 19 yo daughter’s job interview … just to give them a quick 30 second blurb about the fact she’s level 1 autistic, and her strong qualities…. Because she’s totally gonna freeze, or cry, and they need to know why so they maybe give her a chance. 🤷♀️
I'm Gen Z and a late bloomer, at that. I get pretty bad anxiety sometimes and changing jobs has been super hard each time I've done it... But I cannot even IMAGINE asking my parent to come with me!? That would only make things worse, imo. I'd feel babied and incapable. That would be so embarrassing- how do you explain something like that?😅😅
Oooohhh PARENT. I literally thought she was saying parrot at first. I was like "why are soany people just walking around with birds?! That can't be right."
my mum tried to force me to go ask for jobs when I was a teenager, and I tried to explain that "that's not really how it works anymore..." and she went, "FINE! I'll go in and ask myself!" and I tried to warn her that if a mother is asking for their teenager they DEFINITELY don't want to hire me... lo and behold they just told her to go away 😮💨! obviously!
Honestly-I’m not surprised. I work in healthcare and more often than not I get parents calling in behalf of their ADULT children. Like what???
Yes, parents don’t enable that behavior, or stop suffocating your ADULT child
Look, I've had job interviews ever since I was 15. I'm blind, and while I do ask my sister on advice on clothes when I'm unsure, I make it very clear that she can't come past the door with me. Just drive me, put me by the door, and I'll go inside myself.
I had an interview at a local Chic-Fil-A once, and she craved some, so I made sure she left the parking lot and ordered from another branch close by.
So, if I can go into job interview with a disability and show the company that I'm capable of problem-solving (like asking questions to make sure I'm in the right place) before I sit down for the interview, there's no reason why anyone else can't... Look at it from the employer's point of view. What would you think of someone who came in and kept looking at their mom/dad for answers? How would they do if they were hired? Probably not too well. Honestly, and call me harsh, unless that parent was like an ASL interpreter and their presence is necessary for communication barriers, if I see that you've brought a parent to a job interview, I wouldn't even entertain that interview. Nah-uh. A college graduate should have an understanding of how job interviews work, because they learned and used their research skills.
I'm Gen Z, and I hold my generation to high and reasonable standards.
I find this appalling (and truly scary) that the umbilical cord hasn’t been cut… We wonder why we’re in the state we’re in with some of these late Millennials/Gen Z…. I’m late Gen X (1979) and I’m a true Aries. I did everything on my own. I would be utterly embarrassed if my parents went to an interview with me. Are we ever going to grow up?
CONTROL! It’s all about CONTROL! We live in a world where almost everyone wants to either try to control their lives and/or others… We forget that only truly GOD is in control of everything… #REPENT and #TurnToJESUS
The absolute oldest Millennial’s were born in 1981. In order to have a 25 year old child they would have to have had a baby at 18 years old. This could only possibly apply to like 1% of millennials. Also, generations are just Zodiac signs for old people, can we please stop tossing them around so casually? It’s really silly.
I am an elder millennial, and when I was in college (late '00s) I was a student advisor and helped incoming freshmen select courses and register for their first semester of college. I was HORRIFIED by the number of parents who came with (or sometimes even in lieu of!) their 18+ yr-old child. The student almost always looked mortified and like they were not at all ok with this arrangement, and the parent did all or most of the speaking for them, even though I made a point of exclusively addressing the student. But it was so sad to see. I would try to turn them away when possible, but they'd often refuse to let their "kid" register without them present.
Was just having a discussion with my 17 year old last night about kids not being independent. She’s graduated a little early from independent studies and is taking a college class on campus with 20+ year olds. She’s noticing a lack of communication, problem solving, and leadership skills. I joked/not joked that’s why I gave her a phone and a bus pass at 11, and encouraged her to plot out her own summer plans and get herself there.
I’ve had parents call about adult children for interviews
I can't fully agree with you, but I have a similar story to share. About a year ago, I landed an internship at a company outside of my university's connections. I was 20 with no college degree studying bachelors. I set up the interview on my own, which was a big deal. I was the youngest person in the company who didn't have any family/friendship connections with the CEO. However, on the day of the interview, my dad felt the need to accompany me to ensure my safety during the internship. At first, I was upset with him for stepping in, but after talking it out, he explained the risks of being a young woman in a country like Iran and how litigious can any workplace be for a young Iranian woman . Now, looking back, I appreciate his concern.
I know it’s not the same, but my mom wants to go in my next psychiatric doctor appointment (I’m 29) and I don’t know how to tell her it makes me feel like a kid, but because I had to stop working and she’s providing for me I feel almost obligated? Help :(
As a mom of two daughters in their 20s, hell no would I ever call, attend, email or anything else. If they cannot dlearn that no’s happen in life then I truly failed as a parent. I won’t even make their doctor’s appointments unless it’s a true emergency. I’m all for mock up, interviews, helping them pick out an outfit, even guiding them to look into the company. But to sit in an interview with them…NOPE!
Its giving Archie Bunker: “I didn’t need government assistance to get a job” Edith: “thats true, his Uncle got it for him” back in the day when a referral was made in person 😂
yeah i often blame parents for failing to raise their children.
Especially parents who kick their kids out at 18 with no job, no accommodation, nothing. Should you not be preparing your child for this event? Making sure they have a job at 16, saved up money to rent a place etc
It's weird of them. I'v been applying to places to volunteer and work since 16 pre covid, and post still doing everything myself there.
When I was 22 my mom, without me knowing, followed me 45 minutes to a job interview. Then she called me freaking out that I'd gone to a hotel... it was taking place in the conference room because their main office space was being renovated. Really lovely that I had that in mind while i was trying to get my first job.
When I told my husband this a few weeks ago, he almost didn’t believe me 😅
These adults need to actually be adults....
NO, this is not a generational BUT a cultural difference. You don't seem to be familiar with collectivist cultures... Also, with all the shady scams out there, yes, it kinda make sense for a person in their early 20s to be chaperoned by a relative with more life experience to check the company out with them.
I am a successful GenX professional and I’d bet my silent gen Mom would call around to get an interview for me. She worries about my choices. But she has never gone into an interview with me, even when I started working at 16. I thankfully, do not have kids. If I did, they’d get their own damn interviews like the rest of us.
That‘s no joke- I’ve seen it happen. In the old times, daddy just made a phone call, now they’re here negotiating their offspring’s salary. And why not give them , say, ten percent , as long as they make sure their kids turn up in time, preferably showered, dressed and sober. Could be the new version of a family business.
I was eating and just listening, not watching and my brain head parrot... and I was like why would you ever show up with a bird on an interview. My brain could not accept the reality of people going to a job interview with a parent... and yes, I completly agree with you: it's the parent's fault. I have so many questions...
My mama waited in the parking lot. She didn’t lift a finger for me besides a ride to my job interview, I didn’t want to put the stress on her. The fact that these 20 something year olds DO NOT feel any shame for letting their parent(s) do that… honestly it’s a little impressive. I could never.
How to immediately get your child turned down for a job because you’re a control freak parent that won’t let go. 😂😂😂 I will never understand this “Back in my day, we didn’t get a participation trophy.” gene, but then they do stuff like this and feel entitled to do so.
I had a parent call my office and try and get directions for their baby boy lost on the way to his interview....he was 21. If he had called me, I could have talked him through directions. But Mom was playing mediator so he was late and instantly terminated. Orientation Rule #1.
Why would anyone go with you? Unless they gave you a ride, but definitely drop them off.... So weird. The amount of people who dont dress to impress, is shocking.