Why Men Give The Silent Treatment After A Breakup
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ก.ค. 2024
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It's An Avoidant Coping Mechanism
It's A Form Of Emotional Control
- The Misery Loves Company Reason
Looking To See Your Reaction
Out of Sight, Out of Mind
The Reverse No Contact Rule - แนวปฏิบัติและการใช้ชีวิต
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When months pass by and it starts turning into a year or more of no contact, I think its safe to say that relationship is over. Time to clear our minds and just move on. Can't be hung on anyone who doesn't care about us. After all the most important person in my life is ME not a pedestalized someone else. The way we lived this far before we met them, it's simply going to continue without them! Are they going to become very successful with someone else and not with us, it kinda becomes irrelevant.., unless we are the jealous victim type and we get crushed by other's success!?!
I dated someone in college for roughly 3 months or so. It ended badly with myself getting the receiving end of it after she broke up with me. I gave her the silent treatment the rest of my time in school which was about a year and a half. Some of it was hurt but most of the reason was I was trying to protect myself. Having her in my life in any way shape or form would have not been good for me. She sent me a message about a year and a half afterwards apologizing for everything she did and I accepted. However, I did not have any more communication with her beyond that. I knew that would create a toxic situation for myself.
Depends on who broke up with who. If you broke up with them, they could be staying away because they respect your decision.
Or they don't want to reach out and be rejected again and again.
Breaking up with someone and then expecting them to chase you into something new is not a healthy dynamic.
This is assuming the person being broken up with hasn't lied, cheated, etc.
My ex handled issues in the relationship by giving the silent treatment, he broke up with me out of anger 2 days ago and lo and behold the silent treatment. Me, I've accepted it. Idc. I'm not forcing anyone to be in my life. I'm a good woman and treated him very well. He made his choice so OK. he can keep ignoring me, but he's doing it for nothing. I'm ok with being cordial. Like idc if he wants to be here or not.
You just described my entire situation.
Hi there. It’s been 10 mths since you put this post. What place are you in now? I’m still fighting the good fight. Constant silent treatments as his way of handling a situation for 7 yrs and just can’t do it anymore I’m worn out and I’m 66 can you believe 🙈 hope you see my reply and get back to me x
My ex gave me the silent treatment and blocked me on everything. He got his divorce papers served to him this past week. Sorry we are done done done ... Now he talking. .
But all he gets from me is talking about the divorce I'm not playing I'm moving on.
He's giving me the silent treatment. I went no contact, but he started calling me from other numbers and watching my FB stories and so I broke the no contact after about 6 weeks and said Happy New Years. He responded, but seemed still resentful. He dumped me and we broke up 2 months ago and so him holding onto resentment seems like a personal problem. I'm going back into no contact.
Clearly you he is not into you he is playing you let this go for good
The desire is often a “clean break” we couldn’t talk it out in the relationship, we couldn’t save the relationship, we’re done and so is our communication
Yeah, it's AFTER a break up, not during the relationship. If during a relationship, then silent treatment is an unhealthy form of communication. If after a break up, what's the point? It's not even really "silent treatment" anymore. More like closure.
Men are fun only when you dont take them serious 😂
Thanks Chris, for this highly informative video. It resonated with me.
I have found these videos really help to move on.
I blocked this fool 5 months ago because he refused to stop entertaining other women. He sabotage what we had. I was in a merry go round with him for 5 years. So I chose myself in the end and blocked him. He’s now taking the approach of not reaching out. Hay ho that’s what I want. Move on!! I’m still healing from all this. If he thinks at some point I’m gonna reach out he clearly doesn’t know me. I’m done!! For good!! Forever!! BYE!!👋🏽
Why the need to talk to an ex if it's over? Not everyone needs to be in your life after a breakup.
I find it weird to discard someone you spent years with. It’s dehumanizing to be so careless. I’m not an avoidant, though. I value connection, not going through life alone.
@@tonitv9991 Its not the ex's problem. they can choose if they want to be still in your life or not and thats not dehumanizing. its called free will..
My bf just broke up with me 8 days ago and hasn't spoken to me at all. My bday is Friday, and knowing how much he avoids his emotions that will probably be the first time he texts me. Idk if it'll be anything but "Happy Birthday," but at least that will give me more clarity on where we stand.
We got in a fight on January 1st and he stopped talking then went right back into dating the next week. The NEXT week he then he said he "needed time" but wouldn't say if he was breaking up with me. We haven't spoken since. He's gone through alot so I'm willing to hear him out (instead of assuming he's a narc) but obviously the way he handles stress and emotions are an issue. He makes spontaneous decisions and thinks after. We also always got along and never got in fights.
I think I'm in that boat where we are both doing no contact on each other. But I ended up reaching out to him at 45 days and he responded but in a cold way. It was a short answer to my question. He didn't ask me anything back nor how I was doing. So now what? Go back to no contact? For how long this time? I thought I was getting over him, but now I'm upset. I was prepared for him not to respond to be honest. But since I got a short cold response it made me feel worse. Maybe it means I need to work on myself more then. I don't know, I guess I'm in mourning.
i cant get over this guy who told me to leave him alone after xmas eve. he had severe ptsd and was suicidal. he said my love for him was saving him from suicide. and i hoped for the same with him as im emotionally unstable my self. he said hes been alone for 10 yrs. he couldnt seem to get over the trauma of the ex cheating 10 yrs ago. he was pretty much broke but i saw so much we could build together. but he was troubled. i maybe said some harsh things in texts because his lack of caring made me feel rejected . i just cant get over this. its been almost 3 months now. i last heard from him mid january. i called him in february cause i ended up in the ER. he didnt put much effort into the rlship. he just said hed rather be alone than be with any one. i still hope he will come back around. i prayed that all his ptsd memories are replaced by memories of me. i also have cptsd but now its all replaced by memories of him so maybe the same thing happened to him? might he ever come back around?
Ptsd is special situation. Please look at forum on myptsd website to see what I mean.
My suggestion is to wish them well and leave. It sucks to give up on them but it's like 99 percent chance of them destroying your soul.
I am on day 21 of no contact and I do feel myself starting to move on now. It is sad because I do feel like he might eventually reach out but me waiting is just giving me false hope
did he?
Hey.. Did he?
He did, we have been back together for 7 months now
@@ozzy_mondo8791 I'm happy it worked out for you 😊
I feel the same. We have broken up 5 weeks ago. both do no cantact. when did he reach out?❤
Darlings, they don't give a f@@@. As simple as that!
Period!
In no contact for about 2 months after 6 y living relationship , because out of the blue he needed some space and time. Gave me BS like i bring extra stress in his life because he is under pressure working for the past 2 y like a robot 18 hrs a day and recently i been complaining about it to all his mates that i feel ignored . He is a workaholic and a bit narcissistic . Feeling very stressed , depressed , it's like going through the hardest time of my life because we were about to start a brand new life in the house we bought recently and planning the bright future. Been ghosted straight after he told me to go and see my family for a long holiday in my own country . Feeling so confused and shocked after this situation , trying to find ways to rebuild myself......
Hi..I'm in a similar situation now..how are things going for you?..any breakthrough?
Omg your relationship sounds like my ex Nick and his new girl friend Katrina wow!
7 January 2022.
Shukriya 🙂
Thanks for watching
my ex is kind of a player what I'm thinking after the breakup but the quiz told me that there are chances he'll come back..i'm following no contact rule after 20 days of breakup and doing the mistake of messaging him so much that it annoyed him and it's been 5 days today practicing no contact rule...but it isn't affecting him as he is in a rebound relationship now..hoping no contact works on him
Glad to see someone from same country 🤣
Stick to no contact and personal growth👊
Thanks for sharing Chris. Had an ex reach out after 2years apologize and connect on social media. Shortly after going quiet again. Take it it's a good case of seeking validation? 🤷🤔
Fantastic!
It's not about validation but rather a guilty conscious.
What about dismissive avoidant? You only mention fearful avoidant
I did silent treatment on her because she call me a bitch and deleted me from facebook and tryed to give me her ex boyfriend hat and was going from hot to cold and took my money and ask me for my brother cell phone number
When a man goes silent he don’t give af what a woman do coming from alpha
lmao NOT THE ALPHA BULLCRAP MYTH EGAIN XD
I think a lot of men need relationship corses before they start dating… if a lot of men are not into commitment then why are they being so feeble … why on earth are they having relationships they can not cope with….
Silent treatment happens when you are dating a narcissistic person.? When you break up, you stop seeing each other and talking. No contact is also for narcissistic people, to move away. No contact is what happens when you break up. Dont go back to an unhealthy relationship. If you dont get on why carry on together?
I’m on day 41 of no contact. I just hate this … I miss him so much. He dumped me over text and we were long distance. He said he wasn’t mentally stable to be in a relationship with me even tho I know that’s not true. I think he just can’t handle all that’s about to come like marriage and stuff. Anyways I miss him but I’m not texting him. He broke up with me and I know he’s giving me the silent treatment.
What happened you guys Together?
@@CAPTAININTEGRITY nope. It’s been a year now. Haven’t heard anything from him still.
@@maryalbania897 Sad 😔 more power to you..
@@maryalbania897 You haven't break no contact yet?? Your not contacted atleast once after sufficient time passed like 3 to 4 months?
@@maryalbania897 Iam also in Long Term relationship she dumped me through texting it's very very bad.
Why did my ex go and follow hundreds of girls on Instagram(especially girls that he deleted when we were together) and liked their pictures only the day we broke up? I mean I understand that men have their needs and all of that but why? Because men can’t wait to be with someone ? I thought that he loved me and that he won’t do something like that immediately after 1 year being with me..
Are you serious???? Why are you even asking this? Men feel more like a failure than women after a break up. No matter whose fault it was. And they have terribly fragile Egos. They do what your Ex did to literally temporarily 'make themselves feel better' (it does not last at all!) They don't care about these women at all ! Men are still human and their emotional needs far outweigh physical. You most likely caused break up with insecurity and putting him on a pedestal. That's a huge turn off. Leave him completely alone and stop worrying if he cared. OF COURSE HE DID - ASSUME HE DID/STILL DOES ! And focus on Yourself ! Put yourself on the pedestal and don't even think of him other than assume of course he misses you and regrets taking your for granted (he did). And he will return. When he does DO NOT ACT NEEDY EVER AGAIN! Or you will lose him again. Discover Self-worth and stop worrying what some man thinks about you. Who cares? When men meet women for the first time, they automatically put them on the pedestal. That's how they feel attracted to you. If you got off that pedestal and put him on it of course he's lost interest, DUH.... Seriously... how could anyone NOT KNOW THAT???
Just do your research on Narcissistic Personality Disorder. He with no doubt, is one. They can't live without a source of supply.
It is really common, it is his way of managing his emotions during the break up. Even though it is not nice to see, it is normal reaction. However, if you are following the no contact correctly you shouldn't be looking at his activity online ;)
@@chrisseitercoaching normal reaction to gain or feel what ?
i was with my ex for a year also, he waited ONE day to start texting someone from his past when we broke up. 🙂 they really cant handle the emptiness and not having our attention , they need it from someone else. its my assumption that they want to make sure they still have options so they dont feel stupid for letting something good go
Why does breakup silently in general? I had to connect the dots and it a few days prior to Christmas.
However, I did tell him that I was guarded. He cheated in the past on his ex wife. I was warned about him before dating. At one point I caught him with a woman’s head in his lap two years ago and after he moved with a roommate I didn’t know what was going. But, he claimed he never cheated on anyone except one person.
He came back in 08/2021 - 12/2021. The first time he broke up he made me out to be the bad person and part of that is why I wasn’t comfortable when he came back five months later. This time after one argument in four months he dropped everything without me knowing.
Silence can mean many things, but from your situation it sounds as if he is avoidant and possibly feeling guilt from the way he has dealt with things too.
@@chrisseitercoaching He is an Avoidant Attachment and it comes from his mother whom I have met. They’re both passive aggressive in different ways. But, this is the second time he’s gone cold turkey on me. The first time it was two weeks and he finally told me he had broken up. I do not care to chase after him so I don’t bother.
Is it common that Avoidants come back?
What are a few common dos and don’t if an Avoidant is trying to get back into someone’s life?
Thank you
@@cancercrh025 they always try to come back! I had an ex try to come back after 18 years of no contact. He’s still married to the woman he left me for. I ignored him! I’ve healed. He just wanted to see if he still had access to me which he does not!!! Ignore! Ignore! Ignore!!!
Sorry but I don’t accept. We want space so we can heal and move on. Why talking about something that’s broken? Or why talk to someone who was unfaithful? It has nothing to do with fear or being anxious.
Avoiding the problem??? How about you don't have enough investment in her to care. How about heard enough lies???
Heyyyooo Chris I messaged you hope you answer on the website
Hey Ryan, you will get a response soon!