My favorite part is his complete inability to read an audience. They're literally nervously laughing while desperately trying to escape the story and he just follows them around until he finishes. It's awesome.
when you're telling a joke, and none of your friends are laughing but you power through it anyway because you find it hilarious and that's all that matters.
I saw this a couple years ago and forgot the title and literally searched "baseball diarrhea story" to find it. I'm the happiest person ever right now.
I was sent here by a friend. I was expecting most of this... but I was expecting a bit of build up, or for it to be mid story I honestly wasn't expecting the conversation to begin with "I shit my pants last night," out of nowhere
What a story. What a great fuckin’ story. One of the greatest third basemen in baseball history, messing with some rookie in spring training by telling him probably the most embarrassing story of his life. This is why George Brett is one of the all-time greats. Not just because he’s a member of the 3,000 hit club, hit .390 in 1980 or garnered 98% of the hall of fame vote, but because he’s just a regular ball buster like the rest of us. What a wisenheimer. Let’s break this one down, because this video is worthy of such analysis and praise. Before we even get into the quotes, let’s take a look at how old #5 is approaching these stretching drills. He’s not even playing in the game and he’s stretching out his legs, just really loosening those bad boys up. Stretching for no reason at all. TFM. He‘s also wearing two pairs of sunglasses. TFTC. This man is just the best. On to the story… “Shit my pants last night. I did.” Note how specific he is here. The connotations associated with “last night” could mean anything. Was he so drunk he shit his pants? Did he just try to cut a meaty chud under the covers and soiled himself in the process? Luckily, he elaborates… “Went out and had a meal. Just a great fuckin’ meal…” Reiteration can distinguish the greatest storytellers from the rest of the pack. Not only did he have a meal, it was a great fuckin’ meal. It’s like the guy at lunch talking about a girl the night after a hookup. “She had great legs, man. Just great fuckin’ legs.” “I’m good about twice a year for that. When was the last time you shit your pants?” Brett is obviously just a phenomenal public speaker and storyteller. He’s building rapport with his audience, while sharing his life experiences, his battles, like shitting his pants twice a year. “I had a tee time early in the morning…” Of course he did. “I’m walking back to the hotel, I get three quarters of the way out of the lobby and all of the sudden, I go oh fuuuuuck…” He’s still using specifics, he wasn’t halfway out of the lobby, he was three quarters of the way out of the lobby. He then kicks off the meat and potatoes of the story with profanity that vaguely lets the audience know that they’re in for brilliance. “I’m fucked. I can’t move.” Building sympathy with his audience. He’s a prisoner in his own body right now. Riveting. “Water. Straight fuckin’ water. I had food poisoning from the crabs.” At this point, he’s using specific metaphors to describe his plight. Of course, water isn’t exploding out of his ass, but in order to break down the distance and connect with his audience, he’s using a normal, relatable thing to bring them closer and engage them further in the story. Exemplary. “I’ve got jeans on, black Bucks, no socks and every time I‘m walking, it‘s just water…” At this point of the story, it’s like we are fully immersed in the Bellagio lobby, hanging on every word coming out of GB5’s mouth. Transfixed on each detail, wondering how it’s going to turn out. The way he’s so forthcoming with the details is amazing. “Called my friend. I said, ‘Larry, you’re not gonna believe this. I’m standing outside of the Bellagio and I’ve got shit all over myself…’ So he goes in, finds the closest bathroom in the lobby…I go in there…I take off all my clothes, wipe myself off. Leave my shoes, my pants, the towels, everything right there in the stall and I’m walking barefoot with my shirt and his pants at midnight.” Anywhere else in the world, he probably sticks out like a sore thumb. But it’s Vegas. No one probably even noticed. “Got up in the morning, took the most perfect double-tapered shit of my life. True story.” The most perfect, double-tapered shit of my life. Wow. Just…wow. That is a term that should be used more often in everyone’s vernacular. Incredibly explicit, yet wonderfully crafted. Isn’t that always the case, though? You have beer shits/diarrhea/what have you, and then the next day, you drop a perfectly solid, passable, nine-inch log in the bowl. The human body is a mystery. And as his once captive audience moves on from the greatest story they will ever hear, we are blessed with a simple, yet amazingly timed question. “Who’s the pitchers in this game?” The man just told a story about shitting his pants in the lobby of one of the nicest hotels in Las Vegas, how he stripped down naked in a lobby bathroom stall and wiped diarrhea off of himself, wrapped himself in his friend’s 48-inch pants and strolled out onto the Las Vegas Strip sans shoes after covering himself in his own shit, dignity still intact. All he wanted to know was who was pitching in the game. That’s just a ballplayer right there.
That's sad- Bret demonstrated some of the greatest storytelling skills one can have; It's amazing these dolts didn't appreciate a master displaying his craft.
So true. Brett demonstrated some of the greatest storytelling skills one can have; It's amazing these dolts didn't appreciate a master displaying his craft.
That over there is the greatest baseball player to have ever set foot on this field, go, have the honor to meet him. so... *_I sHiT mY PaNtS LaSt NiGhT_*
God. This guy could be a comedian. You have to be able to laugh at yourself like that. And he doesn't give a damn. Hilarious. Why isn't everyone laughing their balls off?
Judging by the other voices in the video? Probably because at least some of the people he’s talking to are from Spanish-speaking countries, and at this point Brett doesn’t even care who he’s talking to.
Wikipedia: After his retirement, video surfaced of him during a pregame warmup telling stories about the times he has involuntarily defecated in his pants. It has been viewed tens of thousands of times on TH-cam.[11]
Okay, so this is honestly some of the most top-notch video I've ever watched. Here we get to see what a top-tier man is like amidst his peers and not "on stage" as when doing public interviews and such. This short clip is a better masterclass in true confidence than any "self-help" program you could watch
On a scale of “the most perfect double-tapered shit you’ve ever had in your life” to “straight fuckin’ water”, how would you describe your last bowel movement?
I love how his audience keeps tryn to back away and go in the opposite direction..and brett keeps following them and continuing with his story lol...thanks Dan Ryckert for this
Brandon Brown Yeah I guess we've all been there. Someone telling you an uncomfortable story and won't let you just get away casually. They just follow you telling the same uncomfortable story like they don't even notice you trying to excuse yourself. Sorry to go on about it, I work with someone who does that on a regular basis.
George Brett is not only a legendary ball player but a legendary story teller. That is so damn funny, his grand kids are more lucky than they know. HILARIOUS!
I dedicated a Vegas trip a while back to this story. I stayed at the Bellagio. Went to dinner at Kokomos in the Mirage (before it closed) wearing jeans, black bucks, and no socks. Ordered crab legs. Unfortunately, did not get food poisoning. Made it back to my room with dry pants. I tried but I just couldn’t force myself to shit my pants. Still one of my most memorable vacations.
"So, who's the pitcher in this game?" The man finishes telling a 3 minute story about shitting his pants, and then just casually asks who the pitcher is. Somebody get this man a comedy deal!!!!!
I had a stealth shart this morning but I was lucky to be home. PS. My first real mitt was the Wilson George Brett Model, it was huge for a 10 year old but I loved it! I oiled it, folded and got it real good.
"I'm good twice a year for that."
This is gold.
That is how you know you are living a great life.
I can totally relate and I've never done anything thing great in my life. Just to much beer and shitty food
what does that even mean
My favorite part is his complete inability to read an audience. They're literally nervously laughing while desperately trying to escape the story and he just follows them around until he finishes. It's awesome.
Kinda like... His shit!
He knows perfectly well that he's on microphone. I don't doubt that his listeners are uncomfortable, but he knows what he's doing.
He might be trolling but I do believe he's telling the truth. The story is too fluid and too strange.
@@coreyS33 Fluid huh
With as much money as he has, I would have paid off his buddy's mortgage!
"Who's the pitchers in this game?"
We'll never know..
@@nicofaraguna8972 true story
Uh-oh. I just won an EBay auction for some George Brett "game-used pants". I wish I had seen this video earlier.
Aha
I hope you like chocolate if you know what I mean
@Darius Mcneill ikr? Poor George. Never could catch a break.
I’ll take them if you don’t want them.
when you're telling a joke, and none of your friends are laughing but you power through it anyway because you find it hilarious and that's all that matters.
E
I love how they keep trying to walk away from him, but he keeps following, telling his shit story.
Ha
please tell me that was an intentional pun
all around me are familar faces worn out faces
Speaking of shit
I love how he tells a three-minute story about shitting his pants and then goes
"Who're the pitchers in this game?"
True story.
@@fancydan1262 Who's the pitchers in this game?
"I'm good twice a year for that" Wait, what???
That’s weird???
He's old as hell
Lmao like it's such a sure thing. 😂
@@Ambipie This was 30 years ago. He's old now!
How the players maintained composure is beyond me, I would have been on the ground laughing my ass off.
I think they were legitimately creeped out by him
The dolts were clueless- no appreciation for one of the great storytellers of the 20th century 🤦🏾♂️
I feel like my conclusion here is that he did this shit all the time. Well, at least twice a year if he's being honest.
1:24 *"PURRRRRRR, Water."* *"No way."* The BEST 😂😂
"Look Dan, nobody is denying that it's funny." might be my favorite part of that whole aftermath.
ahhh a comedy button boy eh?
Water.
/watch?v=ap4rgLvdwZA
No way
Video unavailable dude, you're killing me!
First I find you on Enzo and Cass promos now here
Straight fking water
0:10 you can actually hear his fart before he says he farted 😂
I saw this a couple years ago and forgot the title and literally searched "baseball diarrhea story" to find it. I'm the happiest person ever right now.
Dan Ryckert is a saint for releasing this video onto the internet.
Dan Ryckert is a national hero for this.
thanks jacksepticeye. very cool
We both came here from Jacksepticeyes Funniest Home Videos
EmoFoxy 48 same
Yep
Yeppir
STRAIT FOKING WOTAR
I was sent here by a friend. I was expecting most of this... but I was expecting a bit of build up, or for it to be mid story
I honestly wasn't expecting the conversation to begin with "I shit my pants last night," out of nowhere
ultimateninjaboi lol it actually starts with him farting and then declaring “Farted.”
What a story. What a great fuckin’ story. One of the greatest third basemen in baseball history, messing with some rookie in spring training by telling him probably the most embarrassing story of his life. This is why George Brett is one of the all-time greats. Not just because he’s a member of the 3,000 hit club, hit .390 in 1980 or garnered 98% of the hall of fame vote, but because he’s just a regular ball buster like the rest of us. What a wisenheimer.
Let’s break this one down, because this video is worthy of such analysis and praise.
Before we even get into the quotes, let’s take a look at how old #5 is approaching these stretching drills. He’s not even playing in the game and he’s stretching out his legs, just really loosening those bad boys up. Stretching for no reason at all. TFM. He‘s also wearing two pairs of sunglasses. TFTC. This man is just the best.
On to the story…
“Shit my pants last night. I did.”
Note how specific he is here. The connotations associated with “last night” could mean anything. Was he so drunk he shit his pants? Did he just try to cut a meaty chud under the covers and soiled himself in the process? Luckily, he elaborates…
“Went out and had a meal. Just a great fuckin’ meal…”
Reiteration can distinguish the greatest storytellers from the rest of the pack. Not only did he have a meal, it was a great fuckin’ meal. It’s like the guy at lunch talking about a girl the night after a hookup. “She had great legs, man. Just great fuckin’ legs.”
“I’m good about twice a year for that. When was the last time you shit your pants?”
Brett is obviously just a phenomenal public speaker and storyteller. He’s building rapport with his audience, while sharing his life experiences, his battles, like shitting his pants twice a year.
“I had a tee time early in the morning…”
Of course he did.
“I’m walking back to the hotel, I get three quarters of the way out of the lobby and all of the sudden, I go oh fuuuuuck…”
He’s still using specifics, he wasn’t halfway out of the lobby, he was three quarters of the way out of the lobby. He then kicks off the meat and potatoes of the story with profanity that vaguely lets the audience know that they’re in for brilliance.
“I’m fucked. I can’t move.”
Building sympathy with his audience. He’s a prisoner in his own body right now. Riveting.
“Water. Straight fuckin’ water. I had food poisoning from the crabs.”
At this point, he’s using specific metaphors to describe his plight. Of course, water isn’t exploding out of his ass, but in order to break down the distance and connect with his audience, he’s using a normal, relatable thing to bring them closer and engage them further in the story. Exemplary.
“I’ve got jeans on, black Bucks, no socks and every time I‘m walking, it‘s just water…”
At this point of the story, it’s like we are fully immersed in the Bellagio lobby, hanging on every word coming out of GB5’s mouth. Transfixed on each detail, wondering how it’s going to turn out. The way he’s so forthcoming with the details is amazing.
“Called my friend. I said, ‘Larry, you’re not gonna believe this. I’m standing outside of the Bellagio and I’ve got shit all over myself…’ So he goes in, finds the closest bathroom in the lobby…I go in there…I take off all my clothes, wipe myself off. Leave my shoes, my pants, the towels, everything right there in the stall and I’m walking barefoot with my shirt and his pants at midnight.”
Anywhere else in the world, he probably sticks out like a sore thumb. But it’s Vegas. No one probably even noticed.
“Got up in the morning, took the most perfect double-tapered shit of my life. True story.”
The most perfect, double-tapered shit of my life. Wow. Just…wow. That is a term that should be used more often in everyone’s vernacular. Incredibly explicit, yet wonderfully crafted. Isn’t that always the case, though? You have beer shits/diarrhea/what have you, and then the next day, you drop a perfectly solid, passable, nine-inch log in the bowl. The human body is a mystery.
And as his once captive audience moves on from the greatest story they will ever hear, we are blessed with a simple, yet amazingly timed question.
“Who’s the pitchers in this game?”
The man just told a story about shitting his pants in the lobby of one of the nicest hotels in Las Vegas, how he stripped down naked in a lobby bathroom stall and wiped diarrhea off of himself, wrapped himself in his friend’s 48-inch pants and strolled out onto the Las Vegas Strip sans shoes after covering himself in his own shit, dignity still intact. All he wanted to know was who was pitching in the game. That’s just a ballplayer right there.
heavily underrated comment right here, felt like I was going through this experience new and fresh for the second time
😵😵😵😵😵
I’m surprised his shitty pants didn’t end up in an auction. Better than the pine tar game jersey.
You need immediate help
@@dgtom Someone who's a huge Royals fan would bid on them . George Brett diarrhea with pants
the comedy here is watching everyone try to escape his shit story.
That's sad- Bret demonstrated some of the greatest storytelling skills one can have; It's amazing these dolts didn't appreciate a master displaying his craft.
Two questions: 1) how does he not get the social cues that "I'm not liking this story?" 2) HOW THE HELL DO YOU RESPOND TO THAT?!
He isn't a mongoloid. He knows they are uncomfortable.. That's part of the humor
Idk, I have listened in on guys talking about even dumber shit before.
Response=cool story bro
To be fair it kinda starts of relatable but he goes on for just a bit too long.
@@RetroIsaac That's the point. He's milking the 'bad comic' routine.
Did Family Guy tell you to search for this during a commercial?
Erik Burden yea it did lmfao literally just now
Literally right after the commercial
Yes haha
Yup
Erik Burden YEP
"true story" fucking legendary
So true. Brett demonstrated some of the greatest storytelling skills one can have; It's amazing these dolts didn't appreciate a master displaying his craft.
the most perfect double-tapered shit
That over there is the greatest baseball player to have ever set foot on this field, go, have the honor to meet him.
so... *_I sHiT mY PaNtS LaSt NiGhT_*
God. This guy could be a comedian. You have to be able to laugh at yourself like that. And he doesn't give a damn. Hilarious. Why isn't everyone laughing their balls off?
Out of respect, and because they know its humiliating. Brett is a genuine man and a sports hero. I respect him.
Judging by the other voices in the video? Probably because at least some of the people he’s talking to are from Spanish-speaking countries, and at this point Brett doesn’t even care who he’s talking to.
George Brett is actually related to me. Heard stories about him through our family growing up. Pretty cool dude
I feel bad for him.
Can only imagine the stories.
Jeff Richards I don't know him personally, but I feel like he'd think this is funny. He's a man of passion.
It's straight fucking water dude
Orsdtrich Meowden straight fuckin’ right
"When's the last time you shit your pants?"
I love how casually he asks this question. Like it's a regular ice breaker for him. 🤣🤣🤣
Thank you, Dan Ryckert.
“I'm fucked, I can't move” is the greatest line in this context!
..yeah, and the visual he adds, he is truly a master storyteller
Imagine being Larry and getting the call: "Larry I need you to come, I shit all over myself"
He's a natural story teller. I was waiting in anticipation to hear the rest of his poopscipades.
Wikipedia: After his retirement, video surfaced of him during a pregame warmup telling stories about the times he has involuntarily defecated in his pants. It has been viewed tens of thousands of times on TH-cam.[11]
Someone update the wiki to say 'hundreds of thousands'
Now they have to update to say 'half a million'
800,000
It should say 1M times now
Being offered “fresh” crab legs in the Nevada desert should have been a red flag........IJS
LOL
I know, right??
Okay, so this is honestly some of the most top-notch video I've ever watched. Here we get to see what a top-tier man is like amidst his peers and not "on stage" as when doing public interviews and such.
This short clip is a better masterclass in true confidence than any "self-help" program you could watch
Black bucks no socks
On a scale of “the most perfect double-tapered shit you’ve ever had in your life” to “straight fuckin’ water”, how would you describe your last bowel movement?
"Straight fuckin' water."
I like the guy at @2:17 who just walks by and yells, "baseball!"
just when you think Dan Ryckert is the worst person in the world, you find this.
1:23 - Brett: "Whoosh! Water"
That other guy: "No way!"
Haha 😅
This is the greatest thing I've ever seen. I saw it on jacksepticeye and I've never laughed so hard in my life.
nobody cares if you came from jack.
Some people care
@@daylys2 ok
“true story....
*So WhOs tHe PiTcHeR iN ThIS gamE*”
“Got up in the morning, took the most perfect double-tapered shit I’ve ever had in my life...true story.” 😂
True babies know this story
Game Grumps, anyone? LOL This is fucking hilarious
Hm, maybe I'll give it a watch then
Yeah I came here from that too.
look I was just about to comment "Game grumps brought me here" :D
Lool I was just about to comment "Game Grumps brought me here" :D
+BrickNGames yeah.
Haven’t been back to this video in years. Every now and then I watch this.
Thank you Dan Ryckert
I love how his audience keeps tryn to back away and go in the opposite direction..and brett keeps following them and continuing with his story lol...thanks Dan Ryckert for this
dad: can i have a glass of water
me: **hands glass** SRAIGHT FUCKIN WATER
Babies where u at
here!
"true story" "anyway who's the pitchers for this game"
Whoever recorded this really deserves an Oscar®️
I am going to Vegas in November, I am going to be taking the George Brett walking tour!
I'm good for that twice a year.
That is a HOF crap-your-pants story.
"Straight fucking water"
George Brett 2013
I'm a custodian at the Bellagio, and I had to clean up George Brett's shit encrusted jeans, towel and shoes. True story.
“Straight fuckin water”
Whos the pitchers in this game?
"And it was just straight fuckin water."
George Brett is funny as hell
Brett demonstrated some of the greatest storytelling skills one can have; It's amazing these dolts didn't appreciate a master displaying his craft.
He is wearing two pairs of sunglasses
Glad GB has a spare set of shades on his hat
*read the room, george*
*S T R A I G H T F U K I N W A T E R*
George tells the story so casually. THEN HE ASKS HOW LONG ITS BEEN SINCE THEYVE DONE IT 😭😭
Straight f*cking water🤣😂
"Got up in the morning and took the most perfect double tapered shit I ever took in my life."
LMAO
who's the pitchers in this game?
Those players were trying to move away a couple times and Brett kept following them. This is funny as hell
Brandon Brown Yeah I guess we've all been there. Someone telling you an uncomfortable story and won't let you just get away casually. They just follow you telling the same uncomfortable story like they don't even notice you trying to excuse yourself.
Sorry to go on about it, I work with someone who does that on a regular basis.
George Brett is not only a legendary ball player but a legendary story teller. That is so damn funny, his grand kids are more lucky than they know. HILARIOUS!
Thanks a million Dan Ryckert.
Was that really pine tar on his bat?
dar dar dar.
Nobody:
Not a single fuckin soul:
George Brett: *I shit my pants.*
Who came from Jacksepticeye?
Moi
Me
Me
Me
Me.STRAIGHT FUCKIN WATER
My favorite part was hearing the George Brett story
I’ve never been more proud to live in Kansas
I dedicated a Vegas trip a while back to this story. I stayed at the Bellagio. Went to dinner at Kokomos in the Mirage (before it closed) wearing jeans, black bucks, and no socks. Ordered crab legs. Unfortunately, did not get food poisoning. Made it back to my room with dry pants. I tried but I just couldn’t force myself to shit my pants. Still one of my most memorable vacations.
anyone else here cause of chris lmao
True baby
true babies!
What's up ma babies?
The most baseball shit ever.... how baseball is no socks, and a leather jacket.
Me
Idk wtf he means by "most perfect double-tapered shit," but he makes it sound glorious
THE reason my PS4 name is ijustshtmypants. Fresh crab legs, classic.
Fresh crab legs in Vegas nonetheless.
"So, who's the pitcher in this game?"
The man finishes telling a 3 minute story about shitting his pants, and then just casually asks who the pitcher is. Somebody get this man a comedy deal!!!!!
Who else came here because of Jack?
Charcoal mills made me liquid shit in my bed. Woooo! I'm on the bowl right now. I cannot trust my farts at the moment.
Came here cause of jacksepticeye straight fucking water
How is this not in Ken Burn’s 10th Inning? Iconic piece of baseball history…
Who else came here because of Jacksepticeye?
Kinghamster 1447 me
Me
More subs then Justin Y!!?? 1447 me ✋🏻
Right here
Me 😂😂😂
I like how he just glosses over the fact that Larry is a 48 waist.
god bless Dan Ryckert
Straight Fuckin Water
I had a stealth shart this morning but I was lucky to be home. PS. My first real mitt was the Wilson George Brett Model, it was huge for a 10 year old but I loved it! I oiled it, folded and got it real good.
I came from a shovel knight game grumps episode
"I'm fucked I cant move"
Think I fuckin died at that line
Game Grumps yo
If I could give a billion million likes my self I would
Yep
I always thought this was one of those videos where someone voices over whatever matches up with his lips, then I read about it and now I’m happy
Farted... Shit my pants last night.
By far the best MLB real life story I’ve heard.
Family Guy brought me here. I just had to hear this story.
“I farted shit my pants last night” just by that laughter you can tell this isn’t the first time that he’s done this.