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going back home - REVERSE culture shock || NZ to US
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 ส.ค. 2024
- Hello there!
Feels like we're constantly having to adjust! When we first made the move to New Zealand, we of course had a bit of culture shock moving to a different country. But we very quickly acclimated to the new culture and people and everything and ended up loving New Zealand!
Then we made the move to the United States. To say there has been some reverse culture shock is an understatement.
Thanks for watching!
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Totally understand your reverse culture shock. I came to NZ from the UK 29 years ago and now each time I go back there, I genuinely feel like a foreigner in the land of my birth.
What gets me most about the UK is the decay. Places I remember as a child seem neglected, and there's trash everywhere. It hurts that Brits seem to care so little.
I found it hard after two years. Can’t imagine 29! Must feel completely foreign!
@@mdnickless70s spent 4 years in Hawaii, went to UK and wanted to return home to NZ bcuz it was so cold. A year later my English Dad visited UK after 25 years and when he got back to NZ he said to me, I now know why you wanted to come home, All the rubbish and Dog poo. I hadn't seen it. I was shivering so much. Back then I thought, Aren't we lucky to have the tidy Kiwi Ad.
I have travelled to America, Canada from NZ and back so many times over the decades. Lived in both at various times too. Remember, its just a 13-20 hour flight from either coast.
Less than driving some places over there.
I am not trying to brag and make you and your family crave, since your so fresh back there... I just sent two friends in Kentucky a parcel full of Whittakers. About 8 king size bars varied, a dozen peanut slabs, various Easter egg and 8 bags of Pascall's Pineapple Lumps. OMG those girls are addicted to those!
If you really want to remember NZ... go to your local Starbucks and after drinking, curl your lips back in a snarl of distaste and remember the coffee here - Coffeee with some Whittaker's and then a walk on the beach.
We had a friend send us some Whittakers, they are amazing, and probably already gone ;).
We had to get an espresso machine because drip coffee is sad.
You can bye Whittakers every where now, also seen a lot in Canada.
👍 to your honesty. I’m going to use ‘the suck fairy’ concept…😂! I was sad that you guys couldn’t stay in NZ, however I enjoyed your journey here ( It actually made me appreciate a lot of things n NZ, I took for granted). Once you are in it for awhile…you lose the ‘❤’ sight for it, whether that is insight, foresight or hindsight or a mixture of all, something or someone reminds you of what you have. Nga Mihi 😊!
So glad we could be there for two whole years! For our enrichment and to remind everyone there how lucky y’all are!!
Lol but really, hope you get up to some adventures! There’s so much to explore!
😂 I love the “suck fairy” concept too… totally stealing it!! 🙌
Becca, I am sorry that you had to return to the States, you and your family seemed so happy here. If you are really wanting to return to NZ you could look at the skill shortage list and train in one of those occupations - such as nursing. You and your family could be back here in five years and qualify for residency really quickly.
We’re just following the flow of life. My husband is pretty passionate about playing in a professional orchestra so NZ unfortunately doesn’t work for us anymore since there are only two options, and one of them fired him lol
After watching this I think you definitely need to find a way back here. When you went back to the US I didn't think I'd keep up but it's amazing how much NZ made an impression on you in such a short time. Best wishes to you and your whanau.
We’ll have to see where life takes us! Would honestly love to make our way out of the US again, but it all depends on where Billy can land a job.
We miss you and your family in New Zealand already...we love you guys
😭 wish we were still there!
Congratulations on the video, I loved it. It amazes me that being so young you are so thoughtful and have such adult opinions. It is true that we learn to desire more and more and we are not happy with our lives.
I also miss New Zealand, the one you showed us. Thank you, I love your work.
🥲 thank you for your very kind words! I don’t ever think of myself as being thoughtful, just another “loud American” most of the time lol.
And I just tried to capture what I saw as I saw it. New Zealand is an incredible place 🤍
It's all good Becca. Maintain the Kiwi chill amid the noise. Just order one plate of food to share between two. Just because you're no longer sucked into the marketing and consumerism doesn't make you a hippy although, being a hippy is no bad thing. You know where we are and can return whenever. Lots of Americans choose to return after going home for a while. Even the billionaires that enjoy anonymity choose Aotearoa to roost. Money is nice to have but can't guarantee happiness. It's easier to live in a country although expensive can rely on a greater community where quality of life supercedes quantity of stuff.
It is nice that we’ve changed so much since being here. We don’t really act very American lol. And honestly hope to get out of America again!
A fascinating insight. One of your best vids!
Wow thanks! Now that I’ve posted it I thought of a couple other points I wish I had talked about lol
Whatever you do, wherever you are, you'll always be a little bit Kiwi.
🥲
Consider yourself a honorary Kiwi. It was wonderful that you could experience Aotearoa and our people; you have so much in common with the Kiwi lifestyle. I have worked in SLC and love the mountains and the friendliness of the locals. But I also very much understand the differences. I wish everyone could experience other countries to the levels you experienced NZ. I wish your family all the best.
I would love to see many more countries! I think it would solve a lot of problems if people could travel more. Unfortunately it isn’t possible for many.
Speeding: NZ road traffic mortality rates are about 7 - 8 per 100,000 population. The national goal is to have none by 2040. The overall US rate is about 12 per 100,000 population. I suspect there would be enormous variation between the states and urban and rural. I remember in American history at school learning about Franklin Roosevelt’s Four freedoms speech. I think his order was , Freedom of 1. Speech, 2. Religion; Freedom from 3. Fear, 4. Want. I cannot remember if 3 and 4 are in the correct order. We were told to rearrange the list into our order of priority. The number one for everyone in my class (NZ) was Want, number two was Fear. Most of us had Speech third and religion fourth. I have often wondered if American children would have had the same order. The second exercise was to write as a group some “Freedom from …” statements. The groups wrote a lot of obvious ones; war, poverty, starvation, illness, accidents etc. However we were directed to go into more specific ones and what we might have to give up to achieve it. My group wrote something about traffic accidents. Over the years I have had occasion to hear people talk about the trauma of going to the morgue to identify the mutilated body of a much-loved family member. A long time ago, I worked in public health research and for a while I worked on NZ road crashes. Now, whenever I hear people talking about driving speed a “freedom-from” comes to mind. I would like all people to be free from having to go to the morgue to identify someone they love. I am happy to give up the joy of driving fast to achieve this. I fear that Americans may love their freedoms too much to give up the speed that is largely causal. But I could be wrong. One of the things I do wonder about Americans is if they talk about these things in their schools.
Becca you talk so kindly about NZ but I do wonder if your American “soul” chafed at the greater restrictions on your freedom in NZ. I am very sorry that we in NZ have lost such a sweet family as yours. Hmmm, I seem to have wandered all over the place. I hope what I wrote makes sense.
This is so insightful! My American soul didn’t chafe at any restrictions. The only one I question was the vaccine mandate towards the end where people were losing their jobs.
I’m a big fan of driving slower and being safer. I’m also a big fan of speed cameras. The cops in America are terrifying and to be pulled over by them is traumatic and day-ruining.
I'm here in NZ - around 4 years ago before covid, I travelled a month or so in the South Island...I cross over on the Interislander ferry and after a few hours and one night I couldn't cope with the Wellington traffic and people. I lived normally in Auckland...but it was such a strange feeling that day...
That’s so crazy!! Reverse culture shock without even leaving the country 😂
After having lived in New Zealand since March 2016 and gained permanent residency in 2018 I'm making a five week visit back to the States in the fall. October thru early November. I've friends and family in Nashville, Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Chicago and Little Rock. So, I'll rent a car in Nashville and drive from and back to there counter clockwise. After a couple days I'll fly back to Wellington. Upon return I'll apply for citizenship and travel on a Kiwi passport.
So much has changed in the States since 2016. Being from Cleveland I keep track of my family, friends, sports teams and national politics, but not much else. From over here it looks as though a national divorce is the only solution, but how would that look in the end? The USA is now, obviously a nation in decline. A victim of it's own excesses and deterioration of public trust in any of heretofore pillars of the Republic. Sending 100 billion to a proxy war when 20 billion would end homelessness? Can't even get a vote on a public healthcare option? Well, I'll leave it at that.
Looking forward to seeing friends and family, but I'll very much look forward to returning permanently to Aotearoa. While on a walk I was wearing a Vanderbilt hoodie. A guy operating a counsel mower stopped and asked if I was a Yank as he was as well. He is ex-military and a security position was opening up at the US embassy. As we were saying our goodbyes I asked him what he liked best about New Zealand. He thought for a second and said, "It's so much more quiet here." Amen to that.
It is bizzare how we can feel foreign in our own country. After being here for a few months it starts to feel normal. Thanks for watching!
Thanks once again for reminding us (kiwis) how fortunate we mostly have it here however, OMG!! What a beautiful place you live in. That mountain range looks just as, if not more stunningly beautiful than our southern alps especially, “The Remarkable’s”.
I absolutely love the mountains here! Close and accesible and beautiful to look at. Lucky to be staying in Utah at the moment 🤍
Going back to the USA for visits from NZ after several years, the traffic and fast driving is a shock. It must be a gradual build up in traffic and speed that y'all adjust to gradually, but being away and experience the change suddenly is scary for sure.
My husband loves it, we get places so fast, but then all the drives are like 3 times the distance.
Utah has a very beautiful and interesting landscape. I will certainly make an effort to see it when I visit the USA.
I have so much to say on this subject! Five national parks, all incredible. A few state parks are also SO FUN. And the mountains around Salt Lake City are downright gorgeous and accessible and fun to hike in! Love Utah 🤍
I loved "the suck fairy" theory, l must have a garden full of them 🤪. Hearing you on the meal portions, lm all about quality, not quantity, and if presented with a huge meal l just can't eat any of it as l get overwhelmed. Restaurant leftovers are never as good re heated. Thanks for sharing 👍
Again, all Brandon Sanderson!
And honestly it isn’t too big an issue because I try very hard not to eat out anyway to avoid having to tip 😂
I am so sorry you couldn't stay and live here. You definitely get the Kiwi vibe and you seem so Kiwi to me. You and your family would have been a real asset to our little country. Maybe, one day, it will happen.
I’m so sad we had to leave but I honestly don’t see us coming back for long term ❤️🩹 that job was the only real opportunity and it didn’t work out.
I never posted much while you were in New Zealand, but I enjoyed your content and hope you van go back. This year I'm returnung to New Zealand to live after 50 years of living in other countries. I watched another American couple who decided to stay in America because of drink refills and they muched preferred American franchised coffee shops than New Zealands small cafes
I hope you settle
I cannot fathom 😅 and we’ll settle somewhere eventually!
New Zealand misses you guys x
We miss NZ!
No Billboards......Yeah, Right
(For non Kiwis, a popular Billboard in NZ is the Tui Billboard. Always a statement on one half & Yeah, Right on the other.
Definetly not huge or flashy but get the point across)
Great video by the way ☺
Thanks 🥰 it was a fun one to make! Feel like I already have a few more points I wish I had shared!
Actually I think billboards are not allowed in many places in NZ, or if they are they are, are limited in size and position, because they can be a distraction to drivers. The only time you see a lot is when an election is coming up, only allowed for a short time prior to an election, and they have to be removed a day before polling. But you don't see many billboards anyway.
The first time I went to the US, I went to Chicago. My friend and I would go out for a meal and realise that there is no way that we could finish it. So we would get doggy bags and eat it for breakfast and lunch and then throw some away. We would then go out to a restaurant again.
That is every time we eat out. So much food, or we just plan on splitting a meal.
I think it shows all countries have pros and cons 😀
Very true! Nowhere is perfect.
Im looking forward to seeing you going shopping and eating out. What foods that you eat out. How your son adjusts to his new environments…
For sure! I’ve covered a bit of this in some previous videos 🧡 but we’ll definitely be covering it a bit more in the future.
This sounds so much like my experience returning to the UK after living in Germany for 3 years. I think it's sometimes better to move on, rather than back. In our case we chose to move on to New Zealand. In your case, perhaps there's some other place for your soul. Canada or Hawaii, for instance?
Canada sounds amazing right now! We’ll have to go wherever the husband’s job takes us.
Oh my god you speak my mind we moved from NZ back to UK most things you said that’s how i feel about the price, how fast people driving , food and clothing etc😂
Haha I wonder what things I missed that maybe you would’ve said?
I feel that i was 10-20grew up in brazil moved back to usa in 2012 was crazy now im moving back to the farm.
Honestly I love moving between countries. Wish it wasn’t so stressful and expensive, but I love the experiences I get from the different places and cultures. It definitely enriches my life.
@@Becca.Loveless very true i miss italy but im excited to move to Brazil
And with the roads ...in NZ you never know what beauty awaits around the next corner ...while in the US you know there's just more 6 lane tarmac.
Lol mostly true. The beauty is just a bit more spread out here 😂
I'm based in NZ but have US rellies & have travelled extensively in the US.
Ignoring the Imperial units such as bolt sizes, miles per hour etc which is all based upon the inch, foot & yard... one of the weirdest things that I encountered was liquid being measured by weight.
If you look at the printing on soft drink cans (soda) etc, its measured in Fluid Ounces... although liters are usually printed alongside.
Weird! I don’t know that I paid that much attention to that.
I’m sorry you had to leave, but in reality we don’t have the population base (numbers) for a good musical performance culture.
Mm, not sure, we have two very good full time orchestras, first rate chamber musicians, baroque orchestras, exceptional choirs, several Schools of Music with excellent, international teachers ... Numbers are obviously less, in accordance with the population, but quality isn't.
Lots more opportunities in other countries! Sad to have to leave NZ for that reason, but didn’t have much choice.
✨🙏✨🍃🌷🍃your doing amazing adjusting to your new life 🤞each of you stay well 😀🍃🌷🍃
Thanks! We’re trying to stay happy and healthy over here!
It‘s a bad comparison, but I spent a year as an exchange student in the US and a year as a backpacker in NZ. The initial and reverse culture shock between Germany (my home) and the US were soooo much more intense than between Germany and NZ. If I could chose one out of the three to settle in, I would chose NZ, too, while I do also agree that each has their own perks. It just seems nothing can compete with that chill Kiwi attitude (and the landscape anyway). 🥲
Germany seems like a pretty great place to live as well! Plus I like that it sounds like an adventure because I’ve never been. AND I would love to learn German 😍
@@Becca.Loveless My American host brother from almost 20 years ago just emigrated to Germany. He is a musician as well. Is Billy auditioning internationally?
The rudeness thing made me laugh. Whenever I visit Welly or Auckland, from Dunedin, I find the people there too self centered, always in a rush of self-importance, and rude.
yet, what can I say, half of Wellington is filled with Dunedinites. (Me being one of them :) )
@@ros4645 😂😂😂😂
Y'all would be shocked with people here, although a lot of people are incredibly nice as well.
Reverse culture shock on not -- we are glad to have you back here!
Thanks! We have loved being here, everything is just slightly different than we remember it!
In regards to the snow, mountains and hiking, if you ventured out of the north island, you would have that to..................
We did. It was incredible. And we did many hikes near Auckland.
Tbf, you'd get snow and mountains in the South Island.... I've only paused the video to comment, but I'd be surprised if the ubiquity of arms and shootings isn't jarring. If NZ resonates, come back, it's nice to have residents who aren't blind to all the blessings and beauty that is Aotearoa
The shootings and guns are one of the points I left out of this video, I filmed right before ANOTHER shooting, and meant to record a little extra thing about it. It is one of the worst aspects of America, people forget about literal atrocities the day after.
I get it totally I came back to the states after 25 years to the United States and discovered how unfree, corrupt, and so overly complicated the United States are/is; taxes, health care, guns, food and they still use checks here and people are really fat
So much is antiquated here and feels behind the times, especially checks 😂
Extra culture shock moment for you: Kmart exists in NZ and is good - and in the US ..... not so much really. :)
Kmart is dead here lol
Glad there's something you still love about home. You can go faster bcuz gas is cheaper.
Perfect! See, it’s great to be an American!
Are you missing Feijoa's?
Planning to plant some?
Hahaha, I'm not sure they would grow here, maybe in California.
Re billboards: NZ law separates “signage” from “billboards”. Signage is an advertisement for your business that is on the land that the business is on. There is a size limit. Billboards advertise a business that is somewhere else. You are allowed to have signage. You are not allowed to have billboards without local council permission. A billboard would have to pass the requirements in the Resource Management Act such as not spoiling a view, advertising something bad for the environment , it must be below a certain size etc. The kinds of billboards that are permitted are things like fire risk warnings e.g. today the fire risk is …, things that keep you safe. I cannot remember seeing big billboards in the UK or Europe so suspect our laws follow the UK law.
I love this!! So much! Billboards are so dumb and ugly and the worst. I love that the rules are so stringent basically nobody wants to do it lol.
The more I find out about America the more grateful I am that I live in Australia
If you hear of any horn opening in the orchestra let me know 😂
Hi Becca, sitting here in Auckland NZ, and we could do with people like you and your family --- I do hope you try again to permanently relocate here. Maybe look at a good immigration consultant.
Our issue is we want Billy to do what he loves! And that’s being in a professional orchestra. Unfortunately only two options in NZ, and one of them didn’t work out.
365 million v 5 ...and a long way from the manufacturer makes a big difference to the price.
I feel a lot of problems could be solved if we broke the us up into a few smaller countries.
Yep no bill boards here in NZ
Bill boards pre local government election time .
What? We have billboards. Maybe not in small towns but definitely in Auckland where Becca lived
Yes there definitely are, just not in such a high concentration
Yes we have no bill boards here in Rangiora, New Zealand, though we often have cows all over the road which makes life interesting
Lol I need to go back and double-check 😂
I get the impression if you had to opportunity to move back to NZ on a permanent basis you guys would be on the next plane to AKL 8)
If only the job had worked out!
Maybe you should only order one meal to share , just ask for an extra plate and cutlery.
Yes. Renting a car in the US and no one wants to be the driver
Lol 😂 and make sure you don’t crash! Hospital bills are not fun!
120km/h for 40mins ... that's like driving to Hamilton for the day out.
Lol insane way of thinking about it!
I enjoy your videos, hopefully you and your family will find a way to return. For good next time.
Unfortunately one can not compare a country of 330 million people to a country of only 5 million.
America like other countries with big populations are very cookie cutter. Australia is like that, one doesn’t see original small ma and pa stores unless it’s very small town Australia. I love living back in New Zealand, and unfortunately I can’t see myself ever travelling through the States again. I personally found Americans very approachable helpful and friendly.
Yeah it usually depends on the area of America you’re traveling through if you can find friendly people here or not. East coast personality tends to be brusque and downright rude. But southern tends to be incredibly friendly and hospitable.
Your perception of Living a Life of fullness has changed. Because You've travelled away from a familiar life in America.. Now your outlook on life has broadened your mind more..
I’m so thankful that here in New Zealand that you can’t just walk into a shop and buy a gun.
It does make everything feel a bit safer!
Were you too far from the mountains and snow in NZ?
Yes! In Auckland it never snowed and not really any mountains. There are really pretty mountains and lots of snow in the South Island of NZ, but we only ever went down there once in the summer.
😢 come back
😭
Did I really hear you say that you could go to Walmart to buy a gun?
Yep!
@@Becca.Loveless in order to buy a gun, do you need to have a police check and show the person you are buying the gun from a certificate to that effect?
"go buy a gun.." 😲 I don't think I'd ever feel okay about that kind of thing being so socially acceptable.
That’s the difference between a free democratic country that became independent from tyranny with the help of the gun and fended for itself since then with no one to count on and a monarchy and its subjects that have been protected and provided for by higher authority and powers abroad!… Now as gang warfare, home invasions, armed robberies, carjackings, smash & grabs, etc., go up, that little British colony down under will learn more and more what happens when the criminals have weapons, the law abiding subjects of the monarchy are not allowed to protect themselves and the police are afraid and/or too incompetent to do their jobs!… Weakness and incompetence all around!
I will never feel okay about it either 😅
😊👍
🥰
After watching some of the videos on TH-cam about the decaying social issues in America in terms of homelessness and drug abuse and poverty in the cities I don't blame you for wanting to bail out of your country
Nowhere is perfect. But the US is pretty stressful right now.
Becca you are such a kiwi 🤣🤣🤣😊😉
Pies!!!
We make better pies and coffee 😁😁😁😊🤤🤤🤤
😂 Let’s hope not!
Lol I wouldn’t be mad if we were still there!
Okay than why live here? 😅 I mean if I could move to another country than the US I wouldn't come back lol
We didn’t have a choice. Couldn’t stay in NZ with no job/income. Same with anywhere else. In the US we have family and can much easier get a job.
It didn’t sound “Cheesy” at all……..NZ is a very special place. Every American I met in NZ, before I moved to the US - all of them, were fighting tooth & nail to stay there. I kid you not…
So funny eh…that you now “notice” how sweet, or should I say - how much sugar is in American Foods. It’s what kills Americans……sad.
Milk is cheaper in the US - yes. But guess what…it comes from Grain fed Cows - and Grain that is “Genetically Modified” muck. The old adage - “You are what you eat”…..and in America, you eat GMO Products that our Bodies are not meant to try and break down. GMO is banned in NZ - NZ Cows eat just Grass ( like - HELLO - isn’t that what Cows should be eating? ) and Chooks eat grubs and insects and aren’t eating Grain that is GMO……thats why our Food tastes “different”…..or, perhaps we should say…”It tastes how real Food should taste”.
Before I moved to the US, I had an American friend ask me..”Do they put Red dye in the meat here - it’s really red” ( She meant Beef )
“Ahhhhhh…no, thats just how natural Grass fed Beef is…”
Several Months ago a friend of mine went Tramping down in NZ - when she came back, the first thing she said to me was…”What the ( explicit ) are you doing here??????”
Good question….
Find your way back…..I’m sure you will.
Happy Trails Becca…
I was shocked by the color of eggs! But I really don’t think we’ll be coming back. Unfortunately there aren’t enough opportunities. Our next move will be to Canada. I’m excited to see what the quality of life is there!
I would be the same if I went back to my home country where I live canada ! I never went to school there or work there so would be foreign ever though I still am Canadian !
It is crazy, after being here for a few months its starting to feel more normal.
Sounds horrible
It’s interesting 😅