German Parenting is NOTHING like in America
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 มี.ค. 2023
- Thank you for watching me, a humble American, react to Parenting in Germany vs the United States
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As a German, I usually assume that the US are a really dangerous place. In Germany, there are only few areas where I would not recommend walking alone, so maybe that’s the reason for parents to be less worried. Also, children will not walk to school fully alone, because they meet their friends and neighbours on the way.
Especially suburbs in the USA are dangerous to walk or bike for children because they were built for cars, not people. Some don’t have sidewalks, maybe some strips of grass, but not like we know in Germany. And the streets are bigger, very unlike German residential streets.
At least that was my impression when I visited family in the USA.
I don’t mind having my child walk around any German town they know because drivers here are used to pedestrians and bikes and the pedestrians have actual „pedestrian spaces“, that are visibly different from the street.
Also I had a self Defense course and a lot of education at around 6-7 years old about predators in school
Here in Switzerland, you are expected to let your children walk (or use their scooters) on their own to kindergarten (for the 4-6 years old) after the first few weeks.
If you had friends
You can say that for alot the European country is safe for Kids. In Belgium the can go to school Alone ore to the park
US: "defend your freedom"
GER: "enjoy your freedom"
;)
You nailed it exactly.
Living in Munich, I just come home from a bakery café, and at the table next to me sat a girl about 11 or 12 years old. She had ordered hot cocoa drink and apple pie and did her homework there. Nobody wondered about her and noone raised an eyebrow.
Everything fine.
So true! Us claims the title of Freedom, but Germany is it's namesake. 🤩
👍
So stupid, ppl are being robbed, stabbed, crime rates are high. And you think it's safe😢 I don't even go out at night anymore without my husband or GSD. Frankfurt ist No Joke. Hope you live in the country with this mindset of yours.
@UlliStein in the US the Police would fine the parents
My daughter graciously allowed me bringing her to school for exactly 2 days, at the sage old age of 5. Third day of first grade, she insisted on going alone. (Admittedly, the elementary school was only a 5 minute walk from our place.) But that’s the kind of independence we like to grow here.
Today, she‘s 12, rides the bus anywhere, whether to school, handball practice, or to meet friends, and I am incredibly proud of how independent and self-reliant she is.
Also, about the playgrounds: there are many norms that regulate what goes on playgrounds and what not. How much area must be obstacle-free around swings or carousels; how much space needs to be between elements so nobody gets stuck; what kind of material is used for fall protection depending on the height one could possibly fall from, and so on.
I think that american playgrounds are so over-secured is also because of the unhealthy sueing culture in the US. If my kid climbs a wall, slips, and breaks an arm, I would never sue the owner of the wall. Health insurance would take care of needed treatments, and my kid would learn to be more careful next time.
Very nice summary, I couldn’t have said it better. For me it has been totally normal to take the bus at a young age, go swimming on my own etc. parents should focus less on protecting and prepare their children for the real world instead, unless you still want them to live at home when they are 40 …
@@SchnitzeIkuchen It depends on how you are protecting them: Are you keeping any and all trouble away from them or are you giving them the tools to properly deal with it?
In the former case you are raising cowards with next to no frustration toerance, but in the latter you get healthy individuals who know how to properly handle problematic situations and aren't thrown off by setbacks.
Which one is preferrable should be a no-brainer.
@@Robidu1973 Thus so many Karen's and Kevins.
Flunk: Equals to fail
Was Dr.Spock in the 50s American? My biggest mistake was reading it. I realise now what a load of rubbish it was.
I love how shocked you are that teenagers go clubbing and do their homework. It's normal to us. In my hometown you were (and still are) allowed to go to the club when you're at least 16. Technically you're supposed to leave and be home by midnight but you only get ID'd at the door. So you can stay as long as your parents are fine with it. And even drink what ever you want to because they don't check your ID at the bar.
Some clubs have means to identify minors at the bar. I remember one club that had a stamp card where you could mark down drinks that you would pay upon leaving. Minors got a different color
I remember one club where I had to leave my ID at the door, so they could make sure I got out before midnight.
That was the day I learned that I actually wasn't allowed to stay longer, really didn't know before (was tagging along with two older cousins). Mom was surprised to see me home so early that day. Happened around 10th grade, so at 16yo.
(Oh, and the drinks my 2 years older cousin got for me weren't legal for me either - but I never liked beer, much prefered whisky cola :D)
For me it was just normal to get into the club with my older brother when i was 16. And holy moly, we made a lot of bullshit. But we allways find our way home and often my mother came to take me from club at 3 a.m. and made me a midnightsnack and talked deep to me when she knew i was drunk^^
@Leon Steiner I remember coming home from a party (was around 18 at the time) after 7 in the morning. Was barely able to buy bread rolls and did talk to my mom, who was up already. She was surprised I was sober; I had to cling to a table to not fall over^^ (both because of alcohol and being tired)
@@Garagantua The classic Phrase from the parents: "When you come home early in the morning - bring up the bread" :D
"Freedom, it's got to be america, right?"
five seconds later: shopping a dog leash for children from Shein 😂
The irony is real 😅
The comedic timing on this was impeccable :D
Freedom: Yes, but only if you are grown-up. xD
@@MugiwaraRuffy not even then. In some places you could get arrested for having critical race theory school books in your classroom 👍
@@myeramimclerie7869 Because systemic racism is a bad thing.
saw an interview once were american kindergarden/gradeschool teachers went 2 german ones, when they were at the playground a kid climbed a 5-10m tree, the US guys were kinda panicked and asked if the germans wont help him down, they just looked at the kid and went "he got up there, he'll get down as well"
and I think that summs it up perfectly
Yeah. Children are generally very good at deciding if something is really dangerous (natural selection I guess). And if a child climbs up somewhere where it decides it can't get down alone, it will tell you very clearly ;)
At our Kindergarden the staff said that no kid has ever fallen off a tree they were climbing at. I think, the big difference is: In Germany we say if someone does some silly and gets hurt: You stupid, it is your fault, in US (the way I feel): Oh well, lets see who we can blame it for. And then we collect the millions ...
High Voltage cat needed to be rescued.
th-cam.com/video/ejUbsCZPaNA/w-d-xo.html
Sometimes you have to help though, kids have to learn to estimate their own skills. But that's what "risky play" is all about, to give them control of their body and to explore and gain skills as well as estimation what they can or can't do. It's kinda part of a Montessori-approach to childcare, maybe the US just uses different approaches. And if course their insurances never pay on their own, so everybody has to sue first and to prevent that these weird plastic playgrounds happen (that aren't exactly safe either, just more dull and with less possibilities for open, free play) If you have to basically sue anyone before your st* health care actually pays for a doctors visit after a concussion or something, then you maybe like your kid to just play silently in the room corner.
@@steemlenn8797 that’s the so called „helicopter parenting“
I'm a german parent of 3. They are 7 to 16 years old. I think that beeing a good parent is about setting boundaries, not rails. The boundaries should expand with age, which is a very difficult thing to get right. The other difficult (in my opinion) fact to accept is, that your kids should be allowed to fail. And also you yourself are allowed to fail. I see a lot of parents being outright obsessed with being perfect. And they project their asmr onto their children. Which then in turn leads to kids that have no self confidence, are not able to make up their own goals and are waiting for others to solve their problems for them. Allowing your kids and yourself to make mistakes and learn from them and not be ashamed about them (too much) is very important.
Sadly I can see a strong tendency in the german society leaning more and more towards the "safety is everything" mindset, which is a rather sad thing.
You learn the most from making mistakes and solving them yourselves ☺️ And as a bonus, you learn to ask for help whenever you need it 🙃
Yes, that "safety is everything" mindset is sad because it doesn't allow the child to learn to deal properly with challenging or even "dangerous" situations. This has to be learned by practicing again, again and again. Starting when the kid is young with little challenges you can select and small consequences in case of wrong decision and expanding with age is, imao, the only way to ensure that once adult, your child will be able to face what ever he has to face with resilience.
Our role as parent is to be there to support, to help to understand, to help out if requested, to comfort if needed always without judgment but with kindness.
And yes, showing the example is the strongest also about the permission to fail and make mistakes.
Being a parent is what made me grow the most.
As a German, when we were all 16 and went clubbing our parents always picked us up at 2 or 3 am. It had something to do with trust, they picked us up and knew we and all our friends were getting home safe and we knew we could always call them no matter what so we never abused that trust by drinking too much, not coming home ect. it worked well and we had a great time and our parents were happy
When my son was in first grade (in Germany) his teacher told all the parents: „Your kids are supposed to write down what homework i give them. If a kid comes home without having done that, do NOT ask other parents what their kids have written down. Just skip homework and allow them the experience of not having their homework the next day. That teaches them an important lesson and they wont forget to write it down again.“ Pure gold.
Its important to have kids learn from harmless mistakes. Now or never
Wish my mother had done that... she was the type to 'check/control' everything through the parents of my classmates. Be it if there was homework, a test, a returned test, marks... even my end of the year marks... -.-
Edit: Even missing class/sick days...
Ha. My son does not care about this lesson. He's more than five years in school now and he doesn't give a fuck since the beginning.
@@cheshiry
Das kann ich nur so unterschreiben! 😂🤣😂
@@birdylove24 ich bin ja schon froh, wenn er sich frische Klamotten überwirft und halbwegs pünktlich ist 😬 Hausaufgaben werden selten und vorallem undeutlich aufgeschrieben. Vom alten Klassenlehrer haben wir immer nur gehört "alles gut, um den müssen sie sich keine Sorgen machen". Neuer Klassenlehrer teilt kurz vor den Bewerbungen um die weiterführenden Schulen mit was alles schlimm sei, dass viele Klassenarbeiten nicht unterschrieben werden (weil ich davon nix weiß und er es nicht für nötig hält uns auch nur ne Email wegen Hausaufgaben oder Klassenarbeiten zu schicken...wegen jedem Blödsinn wird geschrieben, aber da kommt kein Wort zu) und auf die Frage wieso das keine Konsequenzen für unseren Sohn gibt oder uns nicht Bescheid gegeben würde kommt ein lasches "ich hab ihn ein paar mal drauf angesprochen und dann aufgegeben". Ist doch kein Wunder, dass es den Jungen nicht kümmert. 😕 Und nein, an der Erziehung alleine kann es nicht liegen. Unsere Tochter macht Hausaufgaben, ist superpünktlich, zeigt alles vor etc. Wir machen keine Unterschiede. Nur ist es unserem Sohn alles ziemlich egal. Während unsere Tochter fast schon hysterisch wird, wenn freitags schwimmen ist und sie nicht bereits donnerstags die Schwimmsachen mit in die Schule nehmen kann
Freedom is a good thing. Of course. But in Germany we say: "The freedom of the individual ends where the freedom of the other begins."
The right to swing your fist ends where the nose of someone else begins. 😉
@@piiinkDeluxe und im Notfall, hilft danach das Grubengrabgerät 😂
Wer anderen eine Gräbe grubt,
ist der, dem man in die Nase pubt
We say exactly the same thing in Spain
Would be great if it was really common! It is in the second article of our constitution (Art. 2 GG). But I have the impression that it's not known by the people. Nowadays it's just asked which group is the victim and then it has all rights to harm the freedom of the others ...
I like how Ryan is shocked that Highschool students over here in Germany go clubbing, when for some people here it feels like 'clubbing' is a thing only kids do. Sure, you'll see adults in their 20s go clubbing here as well but mostly much less frequent, and when you still wanna go, when you're over 30 there will be special events for those, instead that they just go partying with everybody else^^"
I remember in my village, when I hit 18, I felt like I was one of the oldest in the club. Seeing that a lot of 13- and 14-year-olds sneaked in there as well, somehow...
That might be a village thing as well. I live in Hamburg and you can only get into certain clubs when you’re under 18, and even then you need to bring a friend who’s 18 and „taking care“ of you and also your parents signature 😂😂 there are many clubs that are from 21 only, and also many many clubs where also middle age people go to. Which I actually really like. My dad sometimes goes clubbing with his friends and he’s almost 60😂
I' m from Greece, here teenagers ( and I also include 13-16years old), go to parties until 1-2 am and if the place is close by, parents don' t even go to take them home, they return alone. This is very common here. But of course it depents of the area or the city you live. But generally, teens here are more independent and responsible and they had to approve to their parents that they deserve it.
Uff, mein Junge du kennst die Techno szene noch nicht haha
As long as my grades were good my parents didnt put any restrictions on going out to party. My dads one rule " if you're gonna act like a grown up in the evening you better be acting like one in the morning" So sleeping off a hangover, didnt happen. No matter how late you got home or how hungover you were, you got up in the morning and did what needed to be done ( study or work). It was hard at times, but it gave me some good life lessons. ✌️❤️
Children also have to have negative experiences, because they learn the most from them. Confidence and a healthy dose of courage are important. Packing children in cotton wool creates insecure adults who are controlled by fears
Although the world changed around us. When I was a kid I could simply walk to the school, but nowadays there are much more cars on the roads and simply idiot people. I'd be scared to let my children go around alone everytime. But ofc good balance is key
Children learn from their failures. But they are also eager enough to try over and over again until they succeed. Parent should give that space to their children.
@@alihorda Maybe, but cars don't really get less dangerous if you are an adult. So showing your kids how to behave in traffic on foot or bike from a young age is essential. And Germany and I think most of Europe is a lot more used to pedestrians and people on bikes so you are just more aware of them as a driver. We just don't depend on cars that much like Americans.
@@resathe6760 thing is, I was a kid too so I know how they can behave. Fortunately in Germany many people wait at the red to show example. I think when I started primary school my mom accompanied me a few times then allowed me to go alone
@@alihorda
Yeah, when i went to school, there were less cars. But niw there is a crosswalk with warning sighns so the Kids can savely cross.
There's a german saying going something like this: "if you can party, you can work" - meaning: a hangover is no excuse to skip class or perform badly. So if you're good at partying you're kind of under pressure to also perform well ;-) (truth be told, of course those who party too much here aren't the kids that perform well in school)
story time: I was just visiting my 17-year old "baby-cousin" on the weekend and while we had dinner and a nice night with his dad and grandma and all those people, he was going to a party somewhere. In the morning we realized he hadn't returned at night, so his dad checked in via text. A few hours later he got the hungover reply that my cousin had stayed at a friend's house and was returning home now. When he arrived he had some cake, drank a lot of water and then excused himself to study for his politics class, because he had a test the next day and he wanted good grades. Life as a high-school student here is hard man :D
Oh or "If you can go late asleep, you can awake early!"
i agree besides the comment "those who party too much arent the kids that perform well in school" i know kids that will do full parties every single weekend (my sister included) and just smash school she is basicly the top performer in her class. I dont think there is a rule to that u can definitly party and perform school is not that hard if u have a bit of interest and invest a bit of time its a cakewalk.
@@gecgoodpasi1654 my interpretation of "partying too much" was ending up blackout-drunk in a corner of a place you've never been, vomit on your shirt, not remembering anything - as a day to day habit. ;)
I disagree with the doing well in school part. I knew a lot of kids, myself included who did pretty well in school depite partying all weekend (Friday and Saturday, sleeping in on Sunday until 4 p.m kinda stuff). It is more about time management and if school work is important. In Austria in upper secondary school grades don't matter anymore - you don't need straight A's to get into university - not even C, barely passing is enough to get a chance at public university. FH'S have entry exams and assessments anyway so if you pass them, I don't see them carying about grades that much as well. The only casee where grades matter is if you go to a HAK; HTL; HBLA - specalized highschools where you might start to work right after high school exams) This takes away a lot of pressure from the students. One of my teachers told us: "You're old enought to decide how much work you want to put into school and what grade you're pleased with. If you're content with a 4 (Genügend, but still a passing grade) then put in the work and deal with the consequence (we went to HAK - a business high school). You are old enough to take on that kind of responsibilty."
@MsScully25 exactly... I was lucky enough to not having to do much... chose the right subjects later.
Did what I needed in the bus from school, maybe another hour, went to sleep and off Clubbing literally 4 nights per week
Back in 1961, I was about 7 years old, my parents put me and my brother of 8 1/2 on a train. They gave us a list to check all the stops to our destination, instructed us how to prepare to get off the train and wait for our grandma. BTW, the journey took about 4 hours. 2 years later, we made that trip, but had to change trains to get closer to our grandma's place, another hour in another train. And of course, I walked to school, alone, every day, since age 6. First in a small town, at age 7 as well in a big town. There was nothing wrong with that, Germany was a safe place back then. School buses or, like today 'Taxi Mom' did not exist.
When my own daughter was 16, she made her first solo-trip on aeroplane, intercontinental, two stop-overs changing plane and airline. Before, and since she could read and write, I had taught her how to handle customs and migration, fill out the declarations, finding her bag and her way around the airports by letting her DO it, keeping myself in the background. In fact, my daughter was a seasoned international traveller by age 17, confident yet careful.
Kids are capable of so much. With the right teaching and transferring responsibility to them whenever possible, it is incredible what they can take care of.
BTW, I just talked to my daughter, now age 35, about this. She said, she feels having been raised protected but with the freedom to explore the world. In Germany and Latin America.
20:04
I (32, female) loved going to school and always had really good grades. Also I loved clubbing as a teen - heavy drinking included. My parents were fine with it when the following conditions were met:
- NEVER go home alone in the dark. In case I wanted to leave early/stay longer than the friends that were living in my area, I had to call my parents to pick me up. My parents never complained about getting up by a phone call at 3 or 4 am.
- When the bakery already opened on my way home (after 5 am), my parents liked me to bring fresh bread and buns
- My parents didn’t care at which time I got home, as soon as I tuned 17. (until then it was 2/3 am). But they always said „if you can party, you can work“. So if my grades would have been gotten worse or I would not have done all my house duties (cleaning, vacuuming, mowing the lawn,...), they would have cut the party time.
My friends and I all were known to be on every party (we went out at least once a week; when we turned 17/18 sometimes even on a Thursday. But of course we went to school the net day.) we all have really good jobs now (psychologist, controlling, engineering, medicine, consulting,... and I am a Data scientist ). So to answer your question: you can be both, yes. Moreover, if you had caring parents: the better you were in school, the more freedom you got.
Asking your kid to grab fresh bread on way back from party is the most genius thing ever heard. It is in fact very smart thing here what your parents did as it encourages certain responsible behaviour - to think about your parents and do kind thing. Also getting home when bakeries already open is much safer compared to middle of the night. Hopefully one day I have my own children and I can apply this tactic one them. My parents were rather open minded too and didn't really limit me in any way however in my case I didn't develop great bond with them as they also didn't really asked much and we didn't talked that much of what I would do at my friends place. Luckily I turned out fine but it would been useful to talk about it in non judging manner and get useful advice from adults something I didn't ever had.
"America. Land of the free" yeah sure 💀
Well, 99.5% are not currently in prison. Don't look at the numbers of other countries. let's not ruin this.
@@fgregerfeaxcwfeffece 😂☠️
It is so funny, every time I heard this. :D
If you believe Neo was free in the Matrix .. then yeah 😄
*free to pay 150.000.00$ for a broken leg in hospital
In Germany there is this rule for play grounds that "danger" is fine, but it needs to be not treacherous. Holes must be either too small to stick the head through or so wide that the kid can go through complete. Also what kind of ground is chosen is depending on how high the structure is the kid could be jumping or falling down from (sand is softer then concrete, there is also wood chips as in between). High structures have ladders that are too far apart for small children to climb. As I see it: breaking an arm could happen, dying definitely not.
Everything can happen. But you will die a lot less in your own house falling down the stairs if you trained that a lot as a child on the playgound or by climbing trees.
Genreally children are really good at deciding if climbing or going somewhere is really dangerous for them. Natural selection, I assume.
U can die everywhere.
Experimenting as a child is SO important. I once had a 6 year old in sports class that was absolutely shocked that she fell to the floor when she let go of the bar she was hanging on. She for real didn't think she'd fall 🤦♀️
I always climbed a tree near my house and the worst thing ever to happen to me there is a few scratches
Let's not forget our "TÜV" (Technical Monitoring Association) certificates for playground equipment and the regular, irregular inspection of public playgrounds.
The play equipment is usually "age-appropriate", meaning: only when a child has reached a certain age/height can it climb up the stairs/ladder to the slide etc.
But some little "Raudis" are "really plietsch" and find ways and means to reach their goal.
And yes, many play equipment manufacturers test their play equipment with real users in a secure environment in order to make improvements or discard ideas altogether.
(There are various "promotional videos" or documentary videos of the companies here, some with at least English subtitles) DW - th-cam.com/video/EfuhSOU31M0/w-d-xo.html
I'm not from Germany, I'm from Romania, but I told my daughter that I don't care if she ends up sweeping the streets if she is happy. My goal for her was not to be in a certain job, but to be happy. She is now a veterinary doctor and she is happy.
I didn't grow up in Germany, but I did in another European country and kids there start going to clubs at 16. I went out every single weekend (and drank alcohol), but at the same time I had all A's and was every teachers pet and now I am a doctor (living in Germany 😁).
That's a W , good job on being a doctor
this is pretty much my story, if youre responsible enough there is no problem with partying and also studying
Same here, not a doctor though, but management
I remember how I was massively scared the first few times I had to take the bus on my own as a kid. Not because of strangers or because I could get lost or anything like that. What scared the hell out of me was talking to the bus driver to buy the ticket, because they always have been and in a way still are extremly intimidating to me.
The good thing is you dont have to figure out the ticket system like on a ticket machine (which one to buy) in a different city. Just tell the driver where you want to go and he should sell you the right one
Ha ha! I can so relate to that intimidation by grown-ups.
Still, once aboard, I especially loved the front seat of the upper floor of the double-decker buses. Fortunately, they banned smoking on buses just at the time (check out "Rauchverbot in BVG-Bussen") when I was old enough.
@@mina_en_suiza yes, that's by far the best place to sit. :)
Same! We had a prety old, strict, and grumpy bus driver. He would yell at the kids if they were too loud. Also, the first time I rode the bus alone, I actually missed my station. xD
I always feared that i miss my stop and get to late
I grew up in Germany and I really wouldn’t wanna miss the independence part. One of my happiest memories was driving home from school with bikes with my friend group and we would drive around in summer and just fool around and have fun. My parents didn’t worry because they knew I would find my way home so they just let me do it.
I spent a year in a US high school and during break would stay with US families. I sometimes kinda felt trapped in the house because there was no way for me to get from the house to town
did the same and it was one of the best things in summer to just drive arround, go in the woods or play football.
Delusional of the danger that some children are exposed to due to the neglect
@@ABc-nu6jb Sources? Examples?
The easiest analogy for German children and teenagers are cats. They roam on their own until they need food and shelter.
Wo bist du aufgewachsen? Liebe Grüße aus dem Münsterland!
Haha, you are decribing my youth in Germany: Going clubbing at 2 a.m. AND doing my homework. Where's the contradiction? During my 11th to 13th class I got jobs in the afternoon to afford my clubbing and did my homework in the evening. Now I am a mother myself and I recognize myself in the desciption again. When my son was 9 years old, he visited a schoolmate who lived 2,5 km away from us. It was winter and he went by bike and wanted to stay until 7 a.m. I told him that it would be dark by then, but he insisted. At 7:30 he called me. He had started his way by bike, got scared halfway and returned to his friend’s house to call me and ask me to pick him up. I did. On our way back I told him, that I was proud of him that he had tried, and that he could try again, as soon as he feels to be ready. (Of course I worried about him riding home alone in the dark! But I let him do this anyway. He had to learn and gain self-confidence.)
Austrian here. The worst thing that happened to me on a playground was that I broke my arm and my parents weren't there. But it was no problem, since my neighbours had been there so they just called my dad. He came (playground was 3min of walk from our hone), picked me up, told me that he was proud of me to handle the situation without panicking and that he loved me, and then we went to the doctor together. I learned to not trust children you don't know (one I've never seen before pushed me) and that the doctors are super nice and let you choose the colour of the cast. You can't imagine how proud I was the next day in school, telling the story over and over again and showing of my blue cast 😂
It is weird to me, that so many people think that kids are stupid and not responsible. I walked to school in elementary school alone across a busy road. My parents teached me at first grade and then they just said: You can walk alone now, just think of what we taught you. and then I walked alone, like all the other kids. When I was 9 I changed school and I had to take the bus, again, my parents walked me to the bus, explained to me what to do and I went into the bus like all the other children. When I was 10 I also took the bike to ride to my school (because I sometimes missed the bus, I did not like to get up at the morning). It was totally fine. Nothing is better than walking from school together with your school friends and go to the Dönerladen and buy some Döner and then you exchange some pokemon cards on your way home. You have long talks with your friends and then you say goodbye and unlock your front door. If you don´t teach kids responsibility, they don´t learn responsibility. And kids are smart, if you let them be. Kids learn that they have to care for each other and have an eye on each other, not just themselves. If some kid needs help they are taught to care. But Germany is way safer than the US. Abducted kids are rare and no crazies with guns. Even if something scetchy happens, parents teach their kids to keep distance, go home immediately or call the cops or an ambulance.I was taught these safety numbers very early in life.
The States have changed over the years, as Ryan mentioned. When I was a kid (1970-80‘s), we walked to and from school alone, played outside all day in the woods or wherever, road our bikes all around town or to the pool. That is what I like about Germany. I felt as though my kids were able to enjoy the same type of childhood I did but in the 2000‘s. I think it is definitely safer here.
However, when I visited my family in the U.S., I wouldn‘t even let my niece go to the mailbox at the end of the driveway without standing outside with her.
Come home when the lights turn on - best rule ever
As a german seeing you processing the going clubbing in high school in germany, it is quite interesting,
Because whether you are a straight A student or not, you still wanna have fun with your friends sometimes and weekends exist for a reason xD
Also: just because it is legal and a lot do it doesn't obviously mean everyone does it. There's just no real corolation between grades and partying but rather if you are introverted/extroverted
The whole going out to party thing is definitely more along the extra-/introversion lines. Of course there're party kids that won't do their schoolwork but the same goes for some highly introverted kids. And the whole "picking up kids from clubs at 2AM" feels a bit weird given that technically the clubs are supposed to kick minors out at midnight
@@ThisIsMego but in Austria it is the same. No club ever threw us put at the age of 16 just bc it was midnight. I usulally walked a friend home and then walked home 20 minutes bc public transportation was not going through the night (lived away from subway). This walk was my way to get sober through the night bc we drank too much. We started going out at the age of 14 (and yes some alcohl included, but at this age we went home around 11 p.m) - In Austria. This ways in 1999 and the beginnings of the 2000s.
Also “Club” really depends on the city/region you live in. For us “clubs” didn’t even exist, we went to our friend’s party basements and stayed over which usually meant that we also got a coffee and some breakfast made by their parents
and beeing responsible may be caused because of going clubbing etc. because they learn, they get expierence
@@ThisIsMego I can confirm that as I'm more an introverted kid and never really attended parties during school years (except for few more official celebratory parties where everyone attends in 11th and 12th grade) but also I never did my homeworks and sometimes would copy my homeworks from well known party goers. That said I still did quite well on every exam despite never doing homeworks and sometimes better than than the party goers who studied hard and whom I copied homeworks from and they were evidently very annoyed by the fact it was funny. Thing is being introverted and less social I had always excellent concentration during classes thus able to remember most of things teachers said during class. On other hand party goers even though studying hard loved to socialize and chat and lose focus during class.
Here in Poland when I was a 6+ y-old kid I was just walking to school. It was like 5+ minutes away so it was not that big of deal. I had my own set of keys to open the door when I got back etc. since my mom was always still at work. After we moved outside the big city and I was 10+ I was using the public tram. It was and I think still is considered pretty normal. Some schools do have buses here but its more about being able to reach school at all when there is no other way of getting there, safety was never really that big of a concern.
If you think children riding the bus is crazy, wait until you hear about children taking the train in the morning.
In my study time I had to take a regional train in a rural area where not every village had a school. So the local kids took this train too to get to their school - it was indescribable loud 😅
German playgrounds are designed so that kids generally CAN injure themselves when they're not careful. Breaking a bone even is not considered a no go. The playgrounds are however designed to be safe enough so that children cannot (or should not) seriously injured themselves or die. That's it.
Except for "adventure playgrounds". They are basically built by the kids themselves. There's usually just a barren piece of land, maybe some trees or mud holes. And the kids built all the houses and stuff. They get pallets or wooden boards and tools and voila!
The change with the sudying habit comes mostly from the teachers here in Germany.
At the very latest in 10th Grade the teachers startet to tell us that we are responsible for our homework and studying and it is not their responsibility anymore to control if we do them.
If we get bad grades in our Exams because we did not do our homework or did not learn everything the teacher told us to it was our own fault.
This is also the general consens with the parents as they also told me that it is my future and I had to put effort in if I wanted to be good.
In Germany it is legal for children at the age of 16 to be out until midnight.
If you have an adult supervisor you can also go out longer if they have a permit from the parents.
When you turn 18 you can go out for as long as you like.
It is also legal to drink beer from the age of 16 and stronger drinks from the age of 18.
When I was a kid, it was embarrassing if the parents took you to school for longer than the first week of elementary school. Even in kindergarten, our parents allowed us (a group of friends) to walk alone and stayed behind a good 50-100m, just making sure everything was okay 😊
As soon as I was 14/15, I was going to parties, getting home alone in the middle of the night etc. (although my mom stayed awake until I got home 😂, as I was the oldest)
I always got help if I asked, but usually my parents weren’t too bothered about what I was doing.
Indeed the embarrassment is real. My school was a lot more far for me to commute compared to pretty much every of my classmates and my mum was taking me to school a lot longer - I don't remember for how long exactly maybe a whole month - I do remember the embarrassment I had every single day. Also one day our classes finished earlier than was on my mum's calendar and she didn't show up on time that left me really really scared - not for fact that I'm alone - but for fact that I thought something happened to her.
I had the same way to school as my younger sister (I am three years older) and since the first week of elementary school she left the house 5min before I did to avoid the embarrassment of being walked to school instead of going alone 😂
Also I remember a kid in elementary school that was taken to school every day by her mom and she even carried the school bag for her daughter. You can't imagine how much we mocked her because of that
My son is 6, first class in school.
He's riding the bus "alone" bc there are 30 other kids and 3 or 4 parents every morning. He also walks alone to the bus stop and for about 2 weeks he's coming home alone from the bus stop.
German village, 1500 people...
Ryan, there is a TH-cam channel called "My Merry Messy German Life", where a family (with four kids) from the US that moved to Germany in 2020 is talking about all their new experiences.
Their youngest daughter Ella loves the German playgrounds and the way kindergarten is like in Germany and they show/talk about a lot of differences in parenting, too.
Maybe this is interesting to watch - because it is a more in depth talk on this topic. (They even created a playlist on this topic)
All the best and lots of Love to you and your little family !
Yes! If you want to learn more about differences in childhood this is the perfect channel!
And 'the Black Forest Family' also talks a lot of their experiences with their children. In the future we will hear a lot from 'Passport two', too.
Yeah that channel is great!
Absolutely agree- great channel
In Germany I (6-18) was allowed to roam around my village freely without restrictions. Making friends, climbing trees, biking around, visiting other people, talking to strangers etc.
I was just told to be careful about evil people that might wanna kidnap me and was careful if someone acted strange.
I had a wonderful childhood and besides some scratched knees nothing bad ever happened to me.
It was the most normal thing to drive half an hour to school by alone by bike or by bus when the weather was bad.
I remember the only rule I had about roaming around outside: It doesn't matter where I go or what I do, but as soon as the street lights turn on I'd have to get home.
So I was able to walk through the woods or through the whole city (10'000 citizens) and even neighbouring towns and experience a lot and meet a lot of people.
du bist ne halbe stunde in die schule gefahren? des ist keine kleinstadt. ich fahr 5 min
@@Wonssolesmir ist das englische Wort für ein Dorf nicht eingefallen...
@@Cookie__XD oke
@@thenamen935 Which was great in summer (lights turn on about 9.30 pm) and really bad in winter (lights go on at 4 oder 5 pm)!😂
We always went clubbing at 16 and most of the time I drove home by bus lol. Because I live in a big city. My mom hated it and always stayed up until I was home or paid for a taxi but she never said I wasn’t allowed to go. I was also allowed to have male friends stay over. I think because of this treatment I never had the need to „rebel“ and I never had to keep secrets in front of my mom.
As a German My mom let me walk to kindergarden on my own when I was 4 years old. She could see the kindergarden from the house, so she watched me walk there through the window. Then when I was 6 I walked to school on my own, that was a 10 minute walk. And when I was 11 We moved to a village, so I had to take the train to school on my own. I feel like Germans trust their children a lot more and teach them to be more independent and to look out for themselves. We also have more public transport and it is safer to go out alone, or at least it seems safer. I don't know if it is actually safer, or if the media just makes it seem like it's more dangerous in the us.
That’s sickening. I hope no preda*or targeted you or worse. They wait for children who have reckless self centered neglectful parents like that. And the media is full of sh and doesn’t report what’s really happening in Germany nor US, only what aligns with a certain agen*da
I dont see what of the above mentioned practises should be neglectful and self- centered...guess you've never been to germany to acknowledge the differences between our countries.I guess no german parent would do the same in the US though..where too many crazy people are free to walk around with weapons and too often kill someone for nothing
@@ABc-nu6jb It is way more likely that a family member or friend of the family would hurt a kid than a complete stranger. I don't think controlling kids is a valid method to protect them. I think it's way more important to teach them what adults are (not) allowed to do, who to trust, what toxic behaviour is etc
@@Pinguinch3n controlling 🤨they’re innocent helpless CHILDREN that should be PROTECTED!!
We had the 3 children rule as kids (around 8 years old) that when we wanted to play in the forest nearby (like 20 minute walk). Which meant we had to be at least 3 children in case something happens. So if one got injured, one could stay and watch while the third would get help. Keep in mind at this time things like Cellphones were a rare thing and just starting popping up for normal families. Usually children and as well parents are encouraged to let them go to school on their own at second grade. Was kind of fun i would had a 10 minute walk in Elementary school but it end up more like a 15 minute walk. Because i had to go a different way to meet up with friends so we could walk together and talk on the way. I kind of miss those times so much easier xD
we had a rule that you had to be at home when the lights on the road came on
otherwise we weren't home all day (except when we came home to eat, for 5 minutes)
there were no cell phones, and we were all on bicycles, sometimes it was difficult to find us
and we were like a horde when it came to fruit trees
the neighbors chased us with clubs, the best fruit was where we were not allowed 😁
We learned the same rule. Especially on school trips you always had to tell the teacher with which group you would venture out in the woods. Sometimes I hated that rule since I only had one best friend and we would always have to find a third person to go with us. This was like 2005-2010.
Still an important rule today... when you think about German network coverage. You have to be lucky to get reception in german forests.
Yup the rule of three and by dawn you need to be at home. Homework done and off you go. we had a "contract " every year...for the best three grades you earn money and the other one you had to pay...worked pretty good to make sure that i wanted good grades:)
We played on abandoned industrial grounds. The richer kids had CB radios with which we played. We went swimming on our own. To a natural lake or the pool. Our parents had no way of knowing what we did or where we were. Most did not even have watches. I got my first watch with 6 because i was never at home when it was time for dinner. But i could already read since i was 4. So i actually knew perfectly well how late it actually was... Ups...
I grew up in a smaller town / village. When I was around 5 years old, in the last year of Kindergarten, we even were allowed to walk home alone (i.e. without our parents around, but other kids as well). But that was and is totally normal here. We got a "safety instructions and behavior lessons from the teachers and walked together with our parents the first time. That was part of the preparation for elementary school. Where its also very common to walk. From 4th grade Elementary, we were also allowed to ride a bike to school. However not before passing a mandatory street security instruction with a practical and theoretical exam. A small "bike licence" so to speak.
Or yes, take the busses. But on that note, bus companies in my are also had always dedicated school busses in the mornings and after school ends. In bigger cities however, it is also not uncommon even for younger kids to ride the public transport alone if necessary.
The first part is like I know it from Germany.
I was walked home on my own to since I was five years old. At the beginning I was stalked from one parent but after a week it was normal, I walked home allone. And I was not the only child.
I remember that in the 2nd grade of primary school (when I was 8 years old (1981?)) we had a "bicycle riding school"
when it was all over, we had the last class on the training ground laid out like a street, with traffic lights and pedestrian crossings
and the Police were present,
At the beginning, the policeman gave instructions on how to go about the test,
and after that we took the test in groups, some were pedestrians, others were "vehicles - on bicycles".
it was a lot of fun and we all passed the traffic rules test
Even I you don't pass the bike license 😅 you can drive in the schoolstreet and secure the bike outside that way nobody cares unless your parents care . Also did you know that you could fail 3 times 👀
When I was 4-5 I was not allowed to walk alone from kindergarten but we were allowed to play outside alone.
Lived in Swiss and Austria for a while. The lack of fences surprised me. Kids just playing in fields across from their houses. I found it refreshing.
I have learned, when stationed in Germany, that German kids learn to take their own decisions (even if we may consider them wrong) but they learn that decisions have consequences, they learn to act independently, they are also encouraged to share, care, protect and contribute to their environment. Also they learn how to fail, to stand up again and move on. What I though thought was a big contrast was that they are praised only when they go up and beyond of what is expected depending on their age. German children are enabled to ride public busses even before they go to school - something that is unthinkable in the US.
I also have seen children as you g as 2 years old in Germany riding a bike like device (just using their legs to push forward) and then moving on to a normal bike without any training wheels.
Children in Germany learn how to question things and not to believe everything they see in the media. They actively learn about their history, the good and the bad and even about other countries - funnily enough we had a forum German and US kids, the German kids new more about the US and US history than the American kids themselves.
In the US we tend to cheer children up and praise them for the most benign things they do, to make them feel good/better about themselves. By doing this we unfortunately reinforce selfishness and individualism and being better than the next kid, it is always a competition and we shield our children as long as we can from any life experience. We want to decide what our children learn (hence school boards) without even a concept of what they need to be taught in order to make it in life.
Kids below a certain age are basically not allowed alone on the streets (you immediately get police knocking on your door, bringing back your children and you may have a “serious” talk with child services about your supposed neglecting of your children).
In short, I have been impressed by the Germans educating their children to be self reliant and responsible, while I see Americans the education happening far later and more through the “system” rather than the parents.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying all children’s education is like the one or the other way, for sure there are many exceptions the one way or the other.
But that was what I predominantly observed while living in Germany.
Nevertheless I believe that in the US there are far to many people involved in the education of our children that meaning well, have an opinion without knowledge and then we have parents without a concept of how to educate their kids to become independent.
But the worst in the US is the “home schooling” were there is NO control of actual knowledge, parents teaching their kids at home without any skills or concept or understanding of the simplest subject matters - there is NO standard whatsoever.
I had an agreement with my parents when I was in school.
It was that I can basically do whatever I want (go to clubs, play videogames as long as I wish, etc.), as long as my grades were good.
Not sure if other german kids had the same, but I think it was pretty good.
Gave me the thought of "hey, if I study I get rewards".
And now I´m a biology student and all worked out ^^
Same! Basically had no rules, so no need to break any. My Mum even said that she smoked cigarettes and even tried a few illegal things when she was young so she'd understand if I was curious and wanted to try that, only rule not to get addicted. I have actually never smoked a cigarette or tried drugs in my life. No need to rebel against anything if you're allowed to try anything.
I was learing because I had nothing to eat. And I realise: If I learned much I get a good job in the future and I can buy a lot of food. Now I am a teacher and I don't want any child learn with this intention.
So your way is really smart and I really want this for my kids too.
Same dude. But mine was money. Each 1 and 2 was worth a loooooot of money. On good months (i.e. 10+ tests) I made over 300€.
Giving reards for good grades is a lot more effective than punishment for bad ones
@@TheSteve_1992 I never got money for good grades. ^^
@@Oligo26 Sorry to hear my friend.
As a parent, it is your first job to protect your cvhildren of course, but protection does not mean to cover them in soft blankets and pretend the world isn't gonna chew on you and spit you out if you don't pay attention. To me, protecting also includes prepping them for what is to come, and to be able to handle what life throws at you. And to be accountable for what you do.
well put, thanks
Love your videos! I am living in Germany and my brother is seventeen years old. Last year for summer holiday he went on a trip with four of his friends to Barcelona (Spain). They got there by plane and stayed a week, they even did all the planning on their own. My parents were of course worried but also completely fine with it and it really showed how responsible he and his friends are. They managed to get back without any accidents and learnt a lot from the experience.
Omg Dude, you're hilarious 😂😂😂 It took you only 15 seconds to make ne stop the video and like. Loved that joke at the beginning doing some leash shopping!!
When i was 14 my parents lost all oversight from me. I was allowed to leave the house when i wanted and come back when i wanted. When i wanted to sleep at a friends house i just send a short message and thats it. Sometimes my parents picked me up from "wine-festivals" but most times they just told me to walk if there is no Bus.
so sometimes i walked up to 10 kms at 2 a.m. completely drunk :D
@@bmkmymaggots Haha, I had some friends who must walked ervery time.
same here and it was still awesome 🖖
Same here, einher you walk 2+ hours, or wait longer for the first Train in the morning. 🤣
@@oliboy6204 jep always a Joy to calculate what is faster fully drunk :😀
I am from a small village in Switzerland. Everyone walked to and from kindergarten alone (or in groups if it worked out well with the optimal path). The only rules were to get to school on time and get home within one hour after school. For clubbing the only restriction was that I had to get home without my parents help (including some very fun experiences of walking 2 hours in the countryside at 3 am because the last bus left at 11pm) and be at least somewhat awake during breakfast the next morning.
Oh yeah..the memories.. walking home along the fields in the moonshine at 1am for 2 hours because you missed the last train...let me tell you, the shoes were not wat you wanna wear for such a trek :D
And, my mom actually picked me up at 1am most of the time, because we live so remote that most of the time it was impossible to get home otherwise. The difference was, when I did go clubbing with friends she asked of me not to drink anything (one mixed drink was alright)so I would be alert all the time if something happens. It was fine that I drank, when we had private parties. Was a good deal and never had a problem with the arrangement. Now I'm older and drive her to and from parties so she can enjoy a glass of wine.
Oh yeah, that brings back some memories too. Biking drunk through a pitch black forest at 5am, hoping the sun rises soon so i can be back on Time 😂
When I was around 15 or 16 I started to go to clubs on the weekends. But we lived in a small village and there was no good public transport in the middle of the night, so my parents would pick me up with the car from the club in the city. I'm not sure all parents here in Germany are like that, but my parents were very supporting and gave me and my brothers a lot of freedom to make our own mistakes to learn from them. I remember when I had my first (and last) black out from drinking too much and I felt awful the next day. My dad just laughed at me, because he knew, I learned my lesson. He was right. Way quicker and easier than telling me the dangers of alcohol over and over again and not allowing me to drink till I was "old enough". :D
I like the longer videos :)
I think letting children experience a certain degree of risk/danger (with the support a an adult if needed) at a younger age actually leads to them being better at assessing a risk when older. So ironically it might make them more careful in risky situations.
We do have "schoolbusses" in villages. Technically adults can use them too, but they mostly just go to and from school to the villages. So adults would take their car. But in cities with public transportation school kids would just use any train, tram and bus to school.
So for me I used to take the school bus from my village to a village school till age 16 and then I needed to go to a city school and then I either went by car, bus and train or bus depending in the schedule
Some areas villages and cities have school bus
In addition the kids don't have to buy a ticket for the bus, because they got a card for the whole year to use. So normally no bus driver will check on them when they're in the right age for going to school (also because the bus in the morning and the midday is so overfull, no one wants to control anything and no adult wants to take the same bus as school kids. In effect it's a school bus). The kids just wait at the bus station, get into the bus, drive to the school and back. No ticket chaos at all like with normal bus driving for adults.
Yes, we essentially have school buses where there is no sufficient public transportation infrastructure for children to get to school (rural areas). In bigger cities, kids can just take the regular bus, tram, subway. Makes no sense to run a dedicated school bus in parallel. 😊
In our villages sometimes older people would use the "school bus" to get into the next village, but for sure it was not a pleasant experience with those loud kids around them. It was mostly due to the fact, that busses were only scheduled every hour, so if you wanted to get a specific appointment, you had no choice.
I started going home alone in 3rd grade in Budapest, the capital city of Hungary. By 4th grade, I went to school alone as well. I had to ride two busses or a bus and a tram.
By 5th grade, I went to visit my grandparents by train every month alone.
It really gave me time to explore alone and learn how to navigate by myself. It also gave me freedom to buy myself something I wanted if I had some money.
I think it‘s an amazing experience for a child to be trusted to explore.
My parents lived apart and I had no issue doing the tour alone. 20 mins on the train followed by a bus ride. At age 10 without any issues.
As a german i have to say, that our parents were more relaxed with us than me now wirh my own kids. I was 7 years old and my mother had no problem when i say to her, that i was in another part of the city with my bicycle... i think its a generation thing, we are more in fear today 😅
German living in Berlin: our kids have been taking the local bus to school on their own since first grade (6-7 years old). It is a 35 min bus ride, which we first took with them when they first started school. After half a year our oldest told us that he would be fine taking the bus by himself. We bought him a mobile phone (not smart phone) so he could call us in case he got lost... Though on the first day my husband sneaked along without him noticing to see if everything went well. He has taken the bus on his own ever since and never got lost. When our daughter started school two years later, we went along for one week and then she was fine going with her brother only.
I think personal responsibility is a very important tool to learn. If you are not responsible for your life, who will be? But if course you have to teach your kids little by little how to do it..
I grew up in Germany and I am SO HAPPY about that. My grandkids here in the US are so stuck, not being able to do things because they cannot do them on their own. If parents work, the kid sits at home...period. Not going out, exploring town with friends. Not able to buy a beer and sit on a tree branch with your buddy and "secretly" smoke your first cigarette....legally. Not able to go to a bar or club at 18, just trying to get a job and once you are 21, when you could go clubbing, you have a kid already and bills to pay. Live is practically over;-)
To be fair, most US kids can drive from the age of 16, and many even have their own car. But I agree with you, up to this age it must be pretty boring in the US as a kid
@@mathildewesendonck7225 Yet unable to ride a public bus
As a german teen I can say that everything she talked about is absolutely true. I was taking the train through half the country at like 12 years old. Like, I just asked my parents if I could visit my aunt in Munich (us living 1h north from Frankfurt), packed my bag, went to the train station, bought a ticket and went off. And about partying, I‘m basically free to do what I want. Just say I go to a friend, get some beer on the way and then have a good time. As long as I don’t wake everyone up I can return as late as I want to.
Greetings from Austria! My playground as a kid was a nearby ravine, where I always played with my frinds, building dams etc... was a very fun time. Today I never see kids playing there anymore...
I find your videos really great
I was born and raised in a small village in Germany to get to elementary school every day I had to walk 3km through a forest to get to the public bus stop where I had to draw attention to myself with a flashlight. I was at the time between 6 to 10 years old
Greetings from Germany keep up the good work
In Germany we have a saying which literally means "if you can drink, you are also able to do your work". It basically means that it's fine if you are a teen getting wasted in the club until 2am as long as you are able to do your responsibilities.
In Germany, especially in the rural areas, parents let their children roam free from a very young age. When I was a child I simply told my parents, that I am out playing with the other children and that was it. The only rule was that I had to come back home when the church clock sounded 6pm. From the age of 12 I had to ride to school with the regular bus line to another city.
It’s pretty sad how little those parents care what happens to their children. once you truly think about it it’s sickening
@@ABc-nu6jb Lol. Shoo, how did I make it to 40 when my parents were so sickening and not taking care. Bahahahahahaha 😂😂😂😂
@@leo7027 obviously you’re mentally regressed if you write messages like you just wrote with 40 years old 🤡
@@ABc-nu6jb You comment like this on almost every German who shared their experience here. Do you think a whole nation of over 60 000 (and most other European cultures, aswell) are wrong on how they approach childhood?
@@juliadolker9854 I only watched 2 videos of this dude and that’s quite a while ago but all those few “Germans” that you refer to all sound like indoctrinated parrots🥴 600000 huh? Count those few handful of comments again since you obviously don’t have a life
I had so much fun to watch your movies the last 2 days! Subscribed! Greetz from Ger!
For me personally (as an austrian): I told my parents in the 1st grade (after Kindergarden) to stop controlling if I do my homework and everything, because it annoyed me. And they stopped and I still was at top of my class for the next 7-8 years. So yeah, my parents never were really involved in my studying process, and it worked really good for the most part...
I would never have thought of that. My mother was very controling when it came to homework and learning especially with me because I was not an A-studend. (I am Autrian too). She was also strickt with comeing home for supper. If we were later we would be grounded the next aternoon. On the other hand she demanded a lot of indepentence from me. Like aking the puplic bus to the other end of town were the quarter of the juniors scouts was at the age of 8. Also sending me along to summer camp from that age on. turing out summer holidays in the country she allowed my younger brother to move around compeletly independent together with his friend on there bikes. And she only took me to school the very frist day in primary school. (I was born in the 80s)
I think the difference in the pressure that parents put their children (regarding good grades) is that excessive because the educational system in the US is that different. Good grades are more important to students in the US because they often hope to get scholarships etc. In Germany, grades might be required to get into Uni courses, but the costs are much more bearable.
Btw I'm from Germany so I could be wrong :)
I think so too. They also have unis that are especially popular among americans and will help them get better jobs than others, so a lot of students want to get accepted there. Don't think we have that in Germany - I certainly didn't care how important(?) a uni is when I applied. I just had to pay attention to the courses they offer compared to others.
If I'm not mistaken USA also have different laws regarding parents and their responsibility. They can get into a lot of trouble if they do not constantly supervise their children. They can actually called up from other people for child endangerment if they leave their kids unattended
@@nevaehschattenfluegel9652 that's not totally true, even though I don't know a lot about such laws in the US. In Germany, parents are "haftungspflichtig", meaning that they are responsible for their children. Parts of the laws also include parent's responsibilty when being not present.
@@johannaeggert2068 I am from Germany. Yes, you have to make sure that your children are safe, but nobody can call the "Jugendamt" on you, because your kids are playing on the playground down the street.
In the US, they are simply not allowed to have unsupervised children.
@@johannaeggert2068 in Europe being "responsible" for your kids is basically mostly related to situations where your kid commits crime or if you abuse your kid in any way or deny your kid in any way access to things like public schooling, and ensuring that your kids are dressed and fed healthily, and just teaching your kids basic life necessities. Leaving kid for alone for half day to play or do whatever they like in no country in Europe would really be considered "irresponsible" - in fact parents are EXPECTED to encourage kids to go play alone. In fact it is considered overbearing if you never let your child roam free as this denies them towards certain educational factors.
The general parenting style in germany seems to follow the path of: let your child make their own mistakes, so that they will learn to be responisble and independant.
And as a result when they are teenagers (idk...like 14-16) it is expected that they are capable to take care of themselves to a degree and its not the responsibility of the parent to watch over them so much anymore.
...of course it varies we also get more controlling parents as well.
Personally my parents were very much what i described here. When i was in 3. Grade i would take the Bus to school (it was only 20min commute),
and later when i was a teen i had a deal with my dad that whenever i find myself drunk and or lost somewhere i could call him to take me home anytime, no questions asked, no debate needed.
As a kid I spent many times with my bro and friends climbing on tree, neighborhood houses roofs, exploring some abandonned houses, walking in small tream tunnels legs in the water, cycling all around the village and coutryside by ourself all the vacation day only going back at dusk, swimming in the small river near all alone. Parents just asked where will we go. It was great
I was walking to school since grade one and it was never a problem, always nice to meet your friends along the way and get some fresh air before school. Also my parents were always supportive but they never told me to go study or anything or even knew when my exams took place
It's always so funny to see you being kind of overwhelmed by totally normal things - normal in Germany that is...
the only time my parents checked on things like homework or studying was when i was in primary school, mainly because they were helping me with homework sometimes, checking at the end to see if i did things right. but starting from middle school they didn't do that. they asked me when i had tests and then would ask me if i'd gotten the results back to know my grades, but they were never on top of me constantly telling me to do my homework and to study. like, any kid will know just from looking at their own grades that if they don't study they're not gonna do well in class, so you don't need a parent constantly nagging you about it, that just makes you want to do it less
My parents basically were out by the time I was in 7th grade Gymnasium (both Realschule) ^^
They were helping a lot and looking after me in primary school.
@@lyaneris same here with my parents. Also my teachers didn't care that I didn't do homework, because I was always top3 in the class so they didn't bother. I think my parents don't know until now that I stopped doing homework in like...5th grade?
@@xxheart_breakerxx8732 I kinda stopped doing it (faked doing it) in 6th grade, teachers didn't really care and I just didn't have the energy when I got home at 5pm. I wasn't top of class, well apart from German and English class where I did the homework on the fly XD - seriously, I was so done with German class by 10th grade, I stopped paying attention (got As and Bs in exams, anyway and I still knew the answers, so energy saved)
@@lyaneris homework really was so unnecessary when you only paid a bit attention in class. I always used the time I was in school. I mean I couldn't go early, so I might as well pay attention and be done when I leave
@@xxheart_breakerxx8732 Oh, I did that and got a lecture from a teacher (even though I was finished with her work and there was no extra)
We have exactly the same playgrounds in France. And although it's sometimes scary for a parent to see your child ascend the "spider ropes" you have to let them learn and experience things by themselves in order for them to truly learn and discover themselves.
I was born in 1993 and when I was a child (growing up in Germany) it was not a problem for my parents if I went alone or with my younger brothers to the playground of the small village where we lived. It was about 3 to 5 minutes on foot. I don't know how many times I came home with bleeding knees or bruises, but we had a lot of fun there.
When I went to elementary school there were school buses that went to each village but since a year ago the students, who are then between 5 and 7 years old, of this school also use public transport. I've been riding the bus by myself since I was about 9 or 10. So with the change to the so-called secondary school.
My sister and I had also a chart of household chores (Week 1: I had to do the chores on list A, my sister on list B; week 2 the other way around). We had to complete them in order to watch TV or so. The chores were like empty dishwasher, feed cat in the morning/ evening, folding laundry, mopping the laundry room, clearing the table after dinner, setting the table for dinner, cleaning the sink and bidet, taking down the laundry from the clotheshorse, folding all of the washed and dried socks, etc. tidying and cleaning our rooms was also our responsibility as well as putting away the things we used. But this taught us so much for when having our own apartments
Good parenting
In Germany there are school busses for some districts, but they only run for elementary school (1st-4th grade). As a child starting school, I walked to school, because it was a 10 minute walk. My mom showed me the way once and then I would find my own way to school. It was so much fun, because I could walk together with friends, make a stop at the playground or go buy some sweets at a little shop.
Starting from class 5 it's very normal to commute to school by bus or train. Also you normally have a ticket with a very wide range. I think when I was 14 I went to another city with friends just to see something new.
There was one important rule we had to obey: come home when the street lights turn on (which would be around 5-6 in winter and around 8 or 9 in summer). Other than that we were free to do what we wanted.
In High School we had some free time in between classes, depending on what classes you took. In those hours we normally went out to cafés or shopping or just playing cards in the parks. I was very shocked going to an American High School and not being allowed to leave the building or the surrounding area. How do you skip school? 😂
But you are right: also in Germany you see more Helicopter parents than in the past. They would always drive the kids to school, they would make their kids turn the GPS on on their phone and so on. But normally they get more laid back when the kid enters 5th grade (which would be Middle School).
As for clubbing: there are clubs for minors, there is no alcohol.
But - and this is a big but - kids are kids and they are curious and make mistakes. And you can get your fingers on alcohol in some way. Almost all German children get in contact with alcohol around early teenage years. Someone buys something somewhere and everyone drinks. Of course they'll be intoxicated, some have to be driven to hospital. Of course they'll get scolded by their parents, get grounded whatever.
Kids make stupid mistakes. But they learn from them. I think this is a big point here. Learn from your mistakes and move on.
Mist, Apfelkorn mit 12... bin wohl ein Frühzünder...
letztes mal etwas angeschwipst mit 19, bin jetzt über 50...kann auch ohne Alkohol!
@@Arltratlo In meiner Familie war Alkohol nie verboten. Wir Kinder haben mit 5 Jahren zu besonderen Anlässen einen Schoko- oder Waffelbecher mit Eierlikör bekommen. Am Bier durften wir immer nippen. Und das Resultat: für die meisten von uns ist Alkohol uninteressant.
I think she means a „Kletterspinne“ when she’s talking about the playground 🙈
Ich habe als Kind Kletterspinne geliebt ♡
"Oops, wrong tab" knocked my socks off in a completely different way.
Greetings from Hamburg.
There is a rule my parents told me when i started to go to partys... they told me that no matter how drunk i was, or how late it was, or anyting else happend that i needed to be picked up, I could always call them without getting into trouble. They would always come and pick me up without asking questions. They just wanted to make sure that i always get home safe and that i dont have to sneek in or out the house. It is okay to party sometimes. This rule was really good for me because i always knew that i didnt need to do risky stuff in order to hide a party from my parents.
Oh and i love your videos by the way. It just shows me every time how lucky i am to live in germany. It is a good country to live in.
or that if you get a taxi someone could pay at home. you don't need to worry about money
In Germany, kids are allowed to go to clubs as soon as they are 16, but only until midnight. If there is someone who is already an adult, they are allowed longer. Since they are already allowed to drink beer at that age, this is no problem.
And we've also had quite a few creepy helicopter parents in recent years. No idea where that suddenly came from.
I would have gone crazy if my parents had been like that back then. 😉
They probably flew in from the US.
Watching to much "american media", like the True Crime Podcasts and whatnot we're addicted to and maybe they had a gun or bomb threat at school if they came from a different place before they were in yours? Also, you could say for the 1990s my mother was probably some kind of helicopter parent or I helicoptered myself and my parents say they regret that they've never taught me this and that.
Is it really? ‘Cause in Austria 16 year olds have been able to go out till morning for the last (not quite sure for how long, it changed definitely in the last 10 years) i‘d say about 6 years?!
Before that, they had to be home by 2 in the morning, but police didn‘t really enforce that….
Before you are legally of drinking age (16) i think you had to be home by midnight… but i‘m not certain…
No idea, at least it used to be like that.
My daughter is grown up and the grandchildren are not ready yet. 😉
Honestly, even we didn't always stick to the times when the police didn't come to check.
9:00 on countryside the buslines are updated to support schools with extra drives or updated timestamps, but the busses are still open to all people
you see at the bus planes that some lines drives "(5) mo-fr" or "(6) only on school days"
XDDD
Your joke in the beginning was well done XDD
Nice shopping
You should watch the video by Sarah Zaske Montana mentioned. It's enlightening. Also there are very good videos by My Merry Messing Life and The Blackforest Family on that topic.
There is a good proverb that goes like this. Give your kid roots to ground in and then give the kids wings to fly. You as a parent have the obligation to educate your child so it will function in society. On the other hand you have to give them the freedom to make their own experiences and learn to be responsible. How will a child to learn how to ride a bike if you don't let it actually ride it?
When my kids were still in school and wouldn't do their homework, I reminded them to do it. If they didn't do it right away I would remind them in the evening. If they still didn't do it, they went to school without (they could attempt to do it in the bus, but good luck with the vibrations) and face the consequences. They had the choice, they felt the consequences, and in the end - after a few attempts to bumble through - became responsible.
I remember learning to ride the bus alone with like 9 or 10 years. Was perfectly normal back then in GER. But you are right, nowadays parents tend to become over protective of their kids. Many of them drive them to school which creates dangerous situations, because school infra structure cannot handle all the cars at once.
Ich musste von der 1. Klasse an den Bus zur Schule nehmen, weil meine Eltern auch zur Arbeit mussten. Also hat mich das erste halbe Jahr meine Oma zur Bushaltestelle begleitet und aufgepasst, dass ich sicher in den Bus einsteige. Danach orientiert man sich einfach an den älteren Schülern und Schülerinnen. Ab der 5. Klasse hab ich auch immer öfter den normalen Linienbus genutzt, um von der Schule nach Hause zu kommen und musste auch regelmäßig von den Nachbardörfern nach Hause laufen, weil nicht jeder (Schul-) Bus in unserem kleinen Kaff gehalten hat.
Und das, während andere Kinder aus meiner Klasse jeden Tag von ihren Eltern zur Schule gefahren und wieder abgeholt wurden (zumindest ab der 5. Klasse). So erzieht man keine selbständigen Kinder!
Zur Berufsschule ging's dann später auch mit dem Auto, Zug und Straßenbahn. Jeden Tag 3 Stunden Fahrzeit. Dadurch waren dann auch mal Fernstrecken mit dem Zug oder Fernbus kein Problem für mich. Gibt ja genug Apps heutzutage^^
Zur zeitlichen Einordnung: ich war von 2006 bis 2020 in der Schule bzw Berufsschule
My nephew 11 years was on his way home from school, but played with his Smartphone and landed in a City 15 Kilometers away from the Home Village! He called his Mom to get picked up! She sayed NO, you have to wait for the next Bus to get home! He never ever misses his Stop until this Time! 😉
I grew up in the German countryside, village had about 30 people and ten times the amount of animals. Starting from age 7 it was completly normal for me to go out alone in the mornings, feed the horses, get my backpack and get to the bus station. I rarely had do come home after school, we just set a time, when I was expected to be home, usually something like 8pm, and that's it. They only worried if I wasn't home by maybe 9.
Oh yeah and this was before mobile phones.
Helmets are forbidden on those playgrounds because of the danger of getting entangled.
Moin Linde. Bei uns ist es auch nur: sag Bescheid wenn du rausgehst und sei zurück, wenn es dunkel wird. Ich habe damals schon mit zwölf Jahren den ganzen Ort und die ganze Umgebung ab gescannt und abgefahren. Und deswegen heute noch ein sehr gutes Orientierungsvermögen. Liebe Grüße Be😊n
@@tasminoben686Hallo, Ben!
Bei uns auch. Nicht sag Bescheid, wenn du raus gehst, sondern eher noch: geh‘ raus, ist schönes Wetter. Es ist so ein tolles Gefühl, als Kind, sich in seiner Umgebung komplett auszukennen!
Liebe Grüße von Linde 🌺
I live in Berlin and grew up with public transportation. We sometimes even would just go around the city or take the U-Bahn to another district or even out to Brandenburg. It was a great time! One of my friends lives near a forest so after school we would just take the bus out of the city to his home and climbing up the trees n stuff.
6:41 In my school, we had a playground in the schoolyard that was slightly similar. There was like three wooden buildings standing in a sort of triangle and a large wooden pole in the middle (by large I mean it was like 0.5m in diameter and probably like 6m tall) and between these wooden buildings and the pole in the middle, were ropes. You could climb from one end to another only by climbing across ropes. It was really rough, weather-resistant ropes with steel cables in the center. Some of them made triangular nets, while many others were just single ropes hanging around. One of the wooden buildings was a tower (also about 6-7m tall) and you could only get to the top via climbing across single ropes that were hung up between 4 poles. It was really cool. We also had this large swing, and once, a group of 6th graders (this was in elementary school) was stupid enough to swing to hard (there was 3 kids sitting on the swing and a couple of others were helping it swing higher) that when they let go of the swing, they several meters into the air. I’m not kidding, they flew like 4m high. They did it once, luckily everything went well. The 2nd time though, one of the kids got their arm caught on a treebranch. Again, this tree branch was like 4m up in the air. Welp, arm got caught, gravity still exists, arm got broken and torn open, kid fell. Exposed bonebreak. There was a large crowd of people too, the entire rest of the schoolyard was like a ghosttown. I luckily left before anything bad happened, but my sibling, who attended the same school at the time, told me what happened. They did not remove the swing, like you might think, though. It just stayed there, and this story was retold to every new person. Safe to say no one ever did anything like this again. Also holy sh*t this comment is so long-
this girl is inredible. She made her arguments really well & gave a good framework. Amazing. She'll make her way
One of my favorite playgrounds growing up had a huge decomishened locomotive as its main attraction. We climbed all over the thing. It was surrounded by rubber tiling so we wouldn't be hurt to bad by falling and some smaller areas and moving parts were welded shut but otherwise just a big old locomotive
Where was that? Cause i know of an, admittedly smaller loco (still big for kids) that afaik used to be on a playground and has been restored to full working order
@@the_retag the one im talking about is in Bregenz (Austria).
@@chintex_ ah notthats a bit further away. I thought of the locomotive "waldbröl"
11:20 I think when you don't get told what you can or should do in every situation in life, you develop the ability to think for yourself a lot better, and then you also think about how much you need/want to learn for your carrier. Just a thought tho.
Correct thats why the American politions dont want that. If u think for yourself u are not controlled so easy
I agree. I'm actually surprised Germany didn't have less covid protests when considering the way kids there are raised. I'm in Australia, where we had a period a couple of decades ago where we were following the US, but we broke away from it, ripped out the plastic playgrounds & replaced with challenging stuff & so on & it really showed for us with covid, our government never wanted the strict rules we had, but the people insisted & since they'd spent decades training us to think & take responsibility & use our voices, when we decided we wanted lockdowns, they had no choice but to respect our desires & enforce society's decision on the handful of Karens who rocked the boat. I'm surprised Germany didn't see similar (although it may have & I may have just not heard, due to what propaganda media chose to share)
The first time I took the bus to school was like in 2nd grade, and its pretty normal using the normal busses here since we don‘t really have those school busses(except some few schools sometimes have like 1/2 busses that have specific routes so the kids could get easier to school)
I‘m a mother of three wonderful adult kids (and two sweet little grandchilds) - my tips for „good“ parenting:
Don‘t read books about parenting - follow your natural instinct - set not too much, but clear boundries in a loving way - be a good example in every important point - treat your child like you want to be treaten - have and give trust in your child and yourself - remember especially in hard situations: no kid WANTS to be bad, sometimes it doesn’t can better (show him how to do!)
I think these are the most important things you need to know. And: sometimes less in more (toys, „explaining“, protection….)
With lovely greets from germany 🥰
i am just into 1min of the video and it already started like a meme
In Germany it is not just about freedom, personal responsibility and independence but also social responsibility, which typically is very important.
I really love your longer videos. All the best from germany
When you were shocked that kids used public transport, I thought for a really long time that you were kidding me 🤣
I also went to kindergarten alone when I was 4 years old. In the summer vacations we could play outside all day, but had to be home for dinner. What is the problem?
I walked home alone when I was 5. I was a little bit scared! ^^
Germany is very similar to the Netherlands in a lot of ways. When I was 16 we would just ride our bike for 12km (7 miles or so) to go to the nearest club. It would open at 11 and it would close at around 5 in the morning. And we still had to cycle home while being drunk 😂. And make homework the next day 😑.
Schools around here do not allow parents to drop off their children at school. For the kids that don't come to school all by themselves like by bus or bicycle anyways there are designated drop off points for the parents further away from school. From there they have to go the rest of the way to school themselves.
That's the way they learn to deal with traffic and getting around by themselves, so they don't just get run over whenever mommy isn't hovering around...
I am german, age of 55. When I was 14 years old I travel alone (by bus) to Paris (France) for a week, my parents always encouraged me to do such things . I think is more safe here, less violence.
For this context I recommend the video of Google talks from Sara Zaske about her experiences as a mother in germany :)
I'm at 6:50 and thinking: Just wait till he learns about Waldkindergaten. :) :) :).
By the way I've watched about all of your videos on German content... and I loved them all
Well it's the same in Britain.
Kids use the normal buses.
Sometimes I have to offer them my seat if they've got homework to do and stuff, or they want to sit next to their friend.
In which case, I stand up (if the bus is full, rush-hour etc.).
Or I can go upstairs.
No standing is allowed on the upper deck of a double decker bus.