I feel so seen during this episode, thank you for talking about weight in this way. Conversations like this make it feel so much less scary. And thank you Maddie for talking about your experience.
As someone who's been fat their whole life, I loved the fat convo! These talks are necessary. Ashley I loved how you talked about this with so much care and good intentions. I loved everyone sharing their experiences. Everyone get yourselves a woman of the plum.
Re: Fat Intersecting with gender curves are typically associated with femininity and cis women’s bodies. I’m non binary, some kind of intersex, but assigned make at birth. Maybe Klinefelters, most likely partial ais. I was extremely obese most of my life and because of accompanying feminine features felt so dysphoric because of how curves are associated with femininity. I felt like I never had a choice in how people perceived me no matter how I curated my gender presentation. Now that I’m 100lbs lighter, post top surgery, I’m perceived male 70% of the time and i feel better when my femininity is acknowledged first. I have more options in amplifying my femininity and my masculinity. How my weight intersects with my gender now is more affirming and joyful because I feel I have more autonomy in how far I lean into my femininity. But the journey to this point my life did not have to be as tumultuous. It’s all socially conditioned bullshit.
I realize I made a blanket statement at the beginning of this comment. And I recognize not everyone will see it that way. My perspective is augmented by never being allowed in either typically male or female spaces.
i recently learned that trauma bonding is what it's called when someone feels a strong connection with or affinity for their abuser. it's the reason people stay in abusive relationships, because the cycle of abuse (tension building, explosive event, reconciliation, calm) facilitates positive feelings towards your abuser. it's been taken completely out of context and re-defined as "people bonding through a shared trauma", but unfortunately that's not the case & the confusion has been deeply stressful & confusing for folks. 😬
"it's not even the male gaze, it's like, the magazine gaze" "the male gaze isn't even of/from men, it's capitalism, consumerism, etc." YES. PERFECTLY SAID.
An important note imo, trauma bonding actually doesn't mean either of the things mentioned. A trauma bond is the attachment formed between an abuse victim and the abuser during the abuse. It's not at all meant to refer to a connection that happens between two traumatized people after the fact (but is often misunderstood that way, so I'm sure you guys have just seen it misused a lot.)
No. There’s several types of trauma bonds INCLUDING two traumatized people ‘bonding’ over being traumatized. Don’t talk about things you know nothing about.
@@Thecodexnoir that's not anything I've ever heard about. In fact I've heard it explicitly stated in academic materials that trauma bonding only applies to an unhealthy bond formed during abuse. Feel free to post sources if you actually have any, but I've studied psych since I was old enough to read a psychology textbook and have heard nothing about what you're saying 🤷♂️
@@morgueish 😆 You may have read them, but you clearly didn’t comprehend them as you have no Scholastic foundation in Psychology. It’s very simple, try to keep up, when a traumatized person is retelling a traumatic experience, to them & their BRAIN it can be & very often is, identical to the actual event, therefore, they’re in a state of Trauma. TRAUMA Bonding does NOT only come from abuse, it’s not called ‘Abuse Bonding’. What you are ATTEMPTING to refer to is Fawning & Stockholm Syndrome.
@morgueish @codexnoir8824 from my studies too, trauma bonding does indeed refer to the trauma based bonding that happens during cycles of abuse between abuser and the victim/survivors. From what I've seen, the term has kind of trickled into common language use but detached from its original meaning since understandably, if you don't know the origin, it does sound like it could possibly mean "people bonding over similar traumatizing experiences". For the purpose of preventing abuse and encouraging cycles of healing, I think it's valuable to talk about both patterns and their potential impacts. 💚
Had to pause at minute 25 just now to comment to express how much I appreciate this episode already. As a Mexican and fellow woman of the plum, I was cackling at the "we can't all be Mexican" jokes and Maddie's jokes about themselves. I love everything about this. I went to an Improv theater last week and was bummed to not see any Latina comedians up there. It gave me a little more momentum to keep writing jokes to work the courage to get up there one day. Really appreciate how much going to a couple of your shows (Irvine in 2022 & Sacramento a few months ago) is inspiration for me and am hoping to see more people who look like me up there too.
I think this is my favourite episode, such amazing conversations. And during Ash's section I think y'all were addressing how the patriarchy hurts men, they're raised in a way that has caused this discrepancy between advice from a lesbian vs advice from a dude.
Woop Woop 🎉 I loved loved loved this episode! It resonated with me on so many levels! I'm a fat bi chick who grew up in Panama 😁 also a great read for those seeking to wrap their mind around what it means to be a larger size in our culture is a book by Jes Baker called "Things no one will tell fat girls: a handbook for unapologetic living" & despite the title it's for anyone, regardless of where you fall on the gender spectrum or flow 😉 Love y'all, you make my Mondays so happy!🤗
Maddie! OMG, thank you!! I'm attracted to people with my body type, but as a genderqueer person I am dysphoric about my body and actively considering surgery. It's such a strange place to be 💜
I have a google phone and it was also quite expensive - but still cheaper than an iphone. The biggest difference ive heard of is that apple is really user-friendly, and android is more customizable.
Greetings from the San Francisco bay area!!1st time listener,so be gentle!You ladies are absolutely delightful.I might have to venture into the city Saturday and check out your show!I needed some comic relief!The rings on a tree!!!HYSTERICAL!
Maddie kills me every time! I want to say, as a fat person, the fat conversation was interesting but stull fatphobic in a lot of ways so if you had a guest who is fat and actively pro/outspoken about fat liberation maybe you could talk more about it... also fat sex is super fun to talk about so i hope theres a guest you could find like that one day. ❤
Omg it's like this episode was made for me. Hi, im a bisexual femme...ish....bottom...it's so difficult for me personally, to get women because I'm femme....so I cut my hair 😂😂 that seemed to work last time and it's easier to deal with haha 😂😂
I love how she brings up Iphones being superior. But as someone who grew up with computers turning into phones and all that. Ive always hated apple and after using them I realised Iphones were for the simple minded. And Iphone users always hated how complicated Android was because its not restricted.
Honestly cracking up at Issa thinking iphones and androids cost the same 😭😭. Like, I've had a rough year so I bought my current android phone for $60 including taxes and fees and whatever. I think the cheapest phone I've bought was like $35. Googled it and the listed price for what is labled the cheapest iphone is over $400. No shade as she genuinely doesn't know, but yeah, androids exist at poor people prices and iphones do not.
@@hlc834 I mean, you can't really compare buying a used phone for $80, and buying one new from the store for less than $40, and say they're all expensive as if it evens out. Technology is overpriced across the board, but if you're paying more than a hundred dollars for your Samsung, it's because you chose to. There's no option to buy an iPhone new for under a few hundred dollars. That's a huge difference.
The difference between iPhones and androids is that there is a wide variety of android phones by different companies at different price levels while there's only one iPhone company with pretty much 1 or 2 current phone models. ao yes, you can get an android far cheaper than an iPhone AND you can get an android that is just as expensive and high end as an iPhone.
As a self titled woman of the plum (similar figure to maddy) her part about feeling dysphoria when dressing masc at a certain weight made me pause the episode because I’ve never felt more heard then in that moment
I think one of the exception categories is those lesbians and trans women who are in the IT field. We all absolutely prefer Android over iPhone and it has nothing to do with cost.
my biggest thing to say to maddie--bc i totally get what they mean abt different clothes feeling a certain way bc of weight--is to simply follow a huge variety of fat people online. follow fat activists and models and artists and businessowners and musicians. follow a bunch of fat people of different genders with different body types and senses of style. i've been doing that, and i cannot express how much better i feel abt my body. bc it LITERALLY *deprograms* your brain. society has COMPLETELY fucked us up. the idea that certain clothes make us feel bad bc of preconceived notions abt our body? is basically social programming. there's a lot more depth and nuance to be had, for sure, and that doesn't mean suddenly it's super easy to just ignore it. lol but rather--once you start deprogramming your brain, you see other fat ppl--including ones who look like you and who dress like you *want to* but think it looks bad on you--as attractive and cool and normal. and it carries over into how you perceive clothing and other stuff on yourself. it's not a comparison of who's fatter or whose body type suits whatever xyz style, etc. it's about seeing the variety of fat people there are--who are ERASED from mass media, who we rarely see or pay attention to in public--and realizing you can dress and look however the fuck you want at whatever size you are. it's so fucking empowering and helpful, and i recommend it to ANYONE who is fat. follow fat people. look for fat liberationists, and then just go through the ppl they tag or follow! you'll find plenty of cool fat folks! and they all post cool stuff so it's really just fun to fill your instagram (or other social media) feed w them. lol the rest of this very long comment incoming. lol re: what ashley was saying abt fat women-- first of all that's really kind and conscientious of you to not talk abt body types of the ppl you date! what's interesting is, based on the ppl i know & based PURELY on society (&also slightly influenced by jen, as you said lol), my brain always automatically filled in a blob of a person when you describe dates and hookups, and those ppl were always thin. &i'm sure that happened to SO MANY OTHER LISTENERS/VIEWERS without even THINKING abt it. i did think abt it, but i was like "eh, it's whatever, not important" so it was chill. but now w you making an explicit statement "no, i have dated and slept w fat women, it fucking rocks", that is now in my head for all future stories. "no idea who this is or what they look like, it doesn't matter, but boy howdy, could be any type of person! Confirmed!" lol and also i want to say that overall you really had a handle on the conversation really well, ashley, and thank you. ppl are SO fucking denigrating abt fat people, and it makes everyone so fucking tetchy abt talking abt it. but THAT'S PART OF THE PROBLEM! doing that/feeling that way just makes fatness seem MORE taboo! we gotta talk abt it, y'all. the way weight intersects w gender and race is FUCKING *WILD*, and it's worth talking about. people gain fat & have it distributed in different ways and places, and that affects things, too. and also gaining weight =/= bad, and =/= "eating too much". for some people it can! hello, eating disorders. but even THIN people can "eat too much" and never gain a pound. like the "science" around fatness and weight gain and loss is crystal fucking clear, but ALL of society & the medical industry & the weight loss industry & EVERYBODY wants us to believe things that have been disproven for DECADES. no, losing weight is not easy, safe, or sustainable. yes, weight DOES fluctuate QUITE A LOT. yes, people DO have setpoint weights, and they typically occur in late 20s. no, people DON'T generally keep off the weight they lose through drastic measures, and bc of how badly that fucks up our body's systems, MOST ppl gain back that weight and THEN SOME. and it's just insane that we live in a society that REFUSES to accept THE FUCKING FACTS bc it's more profitable to keep people diet and weight cycling, even though (actually because) it's fucking expensive and deadly and dangerous. no, this is not an invitation for you special fairies to come in and say "but i lost ___ pounds and kept it off!" that's nice. how's it feel to be in the 5-10% of the population that can actually manage that? alternatively, it's likely that your setpoint weight had something to do with it. like i don't need or want to hear about that. bc your individual anecdotal experience/story (which btw, studies stop keeping track of weight loss past about 3-5 years. so if you're within that range, you could still gain back the weight) is not the point. the point is that our society is SO FUCKED UP ABOUT WEIGHT. it's SO difficult to push back against this bigotry. bc ppl think it's a choice, even though the FACTS say that it's NOT. also here's one that will have everyone losing their minds: fat people are generally at *lower* risk for certain health conditions, and have better outcomes with surgery recovery, and also tend to live longer. that sounds counter to everything you've ever been taught, but it's true. there is NO documented causation btwn being fat and developing most of those diseases/conditions that ppl associate with fatness. diabetes is genetic 100% of the time, every time. pre-diabetes is a lie that was created to force feed people medication and fuck with their health insurance (in the US). fluctuation of your A1C is very common, and will eventually reset itself after a few years. they haven't looked into why it happens because they just tell people to lose weight (even though it's been proven that doesn't help at all) and then hand wave it away. all of the things that are supposedly associated with being fat? they're actually caused by 1. undue stress, and 2. medical neglect and abuse. "fat people die more from this condition" because doctors don't treat fat patients the same as thin patients. it's not because being fat is somehow worse for your health. like there's so much to this, and i'm sorry, but it is my soapbox topic. lol so i'm REALLY glad that you're being deliberate in having these conversations on the podcast, and doing your best to be both authentic/honest and considerate of the listeners/viewers!
I've had multiple items where I got it then decided I didn't actually like it but hated returning things so the unused clothes were just sitting In my closet waiting for me to one day change my mind 😂
I feel the same way about dating women im too attracted to!! i dont kno why!!! It feels like they r too far out of reach or that they could never like me back.
Isaa specified a few sentences later that it's not the phone that is crap but the fact that picture coding is a fight between the brands and thus iPhone pics look crappy on android and vice versa :)
everybody totally has their own hangups around weight, believe me, it's incredibly nuanced and painful (hi, personal experience)-- but "fat" is a neutral descriptor. take the power out of the word fat by just casually using and destigmatizing it. i am fat. people are fat. fat is a thing people have, and an adjective for stuff and ppl alike. that's all. fat is Neutral. if we start operating that way, then so it shall be!
I’m working on this myself! Sometimes I’m more worried about how people react to me using it neutrally than using it myself. But I’m getting better. I appreciate you saying this.
@@ashgavs totally! it's definitely a difficult/touchy topic bc of the stigma and trauma. i think you did a great job starting to do that in this episode! thank you!
On that exact note, in case it's helpful to anyone reading this, I strongly recommend the podcast The Allusionist's episodes 176. and 177. Hosted by a fat person, though fatness isn't the usual focus of the podcast. The main focus is language and words in a very fun way and these two episodes happen to be about the word "fat". The guest is a fat person too, discussing the impact this word has had in their lives.
i feel like you don't let guests speak enough. i felt it before but now more episodes I watch the more I feel like the guest often gets cut off. but I wanted answer the question on the topic of sexual freedom in europe, it is in general very open and sexually free. although eastern europe especially more catholic countries are less open, of course. but in general i feel that america has a very toxic attitude towards sex as well as nudity. here in europe we are very much aware that nudity and human body in general is not inherently sexual. there is a difference between catholic and protestant countries as well as eastern vs western europe. but still in general I would say many of the sexual subjects you mention on this podcast are not applicable in europe, because the culture is just different. but i still like to watch it because it gives me an insight into the american society. and also many many problems the queer people face are very much the same. also on the topic of iphone-android, yes it is an american thing. android phones are just as expensive if not more expensive than apple phones and most people I know have android phones. those are considered normal phones while apple phones are for snobbish people, not truly rich people. so yeah android+ whatsapp is considered normal.
my gf is about my height andva woman to drown in, my one crush is petit and my other crush is slim and slightly talker than me, it's the perfect combination
We truly do appreciate and support you Ashley ❤❤❤ Happy to hear you are moving through the difficulty ❤❤❤ - the opening of this episode is fire!! (I’m sure the rest of it is too, but I haven’t got that far yet 😂😂😂)
I’m in a hetero-looking relationship but my boyfriend is the bottom and me (the fem) is the top and it does have a different feel to it than when I used to date top men lol
european guy here (france). we do have condom machines near drugstores, so typically you can get several condoms very easily. About the sex toys, I think it's fine to bring a new toy (a bullet etc) to a hookup, i have done it myself and nobody found it weird. however i would not reuse it with someone else, and i wouldn't be comfortable using someone else's toy if it wasn't new. sorry I don't know you nor your hygiene standards, this is like using no protection. I don't trust people...
I totally get where maddie is coming from and I think bringing a toy that is still packaged is a good way around the weirdness! I also have to disagree with the statement that toys are taboo in straight culture - they are not if you're in the BDSM/kinky scene. Also: If you share toys, just use condoms on them as you would with a stranger anyway!
I have question for you over lgbtq. I have always wonder if fancy girls i starting questioning myself back in high school when start to fancy singer call jessie j i didn't want stay to myself that i did then see tv show like eastenders and coronation street that lesbians storyline in it then one coronation street Storyline two girls call sian and Sophie where lesbians then i start having crush on sacha parkson who plays sian powers on coronation street then i start fancy vanessa hudgens who in high school musical i fancy peter andre and zac efron and corbin bleu but only can see myself dating boys not girls i can't face coming out as bisexual because how much i love my love of my life stephen who i know from college and but i fancy my mum friend sue son jack and then i have feelings my ex friend morgan who harssed me last year on WhatsApp and Pinterest and normal text messages but then i starting having crush girl who was on 90 days fiance call Erika Owens please can you answer my question. But turth is i what be with boys then girls but I don't know how stop thinking about it
Babes, you can be bisexual and still perfer to date men. I'm bisexual, and I dont have a preference who I date, but I still find I've had more male partners than female ones. And that's ok! It doesn't make your identity any less valid! And if you would prefer to label it bi curious, that's also okay! Sexuality is fluid, and no matter how you identity, the LGBTQIA+ has a space for you❤️ hope this helped
@@jadynallen6587I have taking quiz on what is my Sexuality it stay bisexual for both of tests i have take what do it mean and i have big crush Peter Andre singer and Big crush on 90 day fiance girl Call Erika Owens please can you tell me what should i do? Can i be bisexual only like men and women no another genders
@@jadynallen6587 i know like both men and women i can't face coming out to my mum she isn't fan of lesbians and my dad in heaven and she would question me if i would kiss girl i have never never kiss girl before only boy on lips please can you help me what to do
Gotta say Maddie figuring out genderfluidity then wrestling with men and it turning into kissing is pretty fucking gay......no longer a gay virgin!!!!!!!!!!! congrats!!!!!!!
With the vibrator scenario, if it was brand new, still literally in the packet, then I would be fine, be if it was one he owned that he used on all his one night stands, no, I wouldn't be cool with that. I just think it's unsanitary. I've had a guy try this, he had only used them with his last situationship, but still, I'm not down with that. I just think that plastic/rubber they're made with, accumulate germs, I think its weird using other people's sex toys, unless it's owned/only used by the actual person you're sleeping with.
“we can’t all be mexican” is an insane comment. comedy and humor has no race. lmfao 🤡 if you have a personality then the shoe fits. you do not have to try too hard.
Ashley... I know I'm attractive 🫣 gurl 😂 I generally want to know was that meant to be real like that's how blatantly like I know I'm fucking fine you are or was that being a sarcastic joke with some humbleness in there as to I don't think I'm completely attractive I don't see what you guys see some days I think I look better than most but thank you Maddie
maddie is low key a comedic genius
High keyyy
High key
very high key, and everyone in the comedy world knows it.
The podcast and clips is my whole sample but, at this point, I’m *expecting* it ;)
Came here to say that Maddie looks absolutely stunning today, just romantic Greek goddess vibes
"like rings on a tree" ??!?!😂 MADDIE!!! That was GOLD!
sometimes i just say woman of the plum out loud at home to myself because of this podcast hahah. thank you for this phrase and this podcast
MADDIE'S CUTE SPORTY VIBES ARE IMMACULATE
I feel so seen during this episode, thank you for talking about weight in this way. Conversations like this make it feel so much less scary. And thank you Maddie for talking about your experience.
I’m so glad!
As someone who's been fat their whole life, I loved the fat convo! These talks are necessary.
Ashley I loved how you talked about this with so much care and good intentions.
I loved everyone sharing their experiences.
Everyone get yourselves a woman of the plum.
MADDIE ABSOLUTELY A WOMAN OF THE PLUM
Can't get over how cute and smart and sweet and funny Maddie is ✨🦋
'You've been out-hallmonitored' 😆 Women of the plum rule the world ❤
Re: Fat Intersecting with gender
curves are typically associated with femininity and cis women’s bodies.
I’m non binary, some kind of intersex, but assigned make at birth. Maybe Klinefelters, most likely partial ais. I was extremely obese most of my life and because of accompanying feminine features felt so dysphoric because of how curves are associated with femininity. I felt like I never had a choice in how people perceived me no matter how I curated my gender presentation.
Now that I’m 100lbs lighter, post top surgery, I’m perceived male 70% of the time and i feel better when my femininity is acknowledged first. I have more options in amplifying my femininity and my masculinity. How my weight intersects with my gender now is more affirming and joyful because I feel I have more autonomy in how far I lean into my femininity.
But the journey to this point my life did not have to be as tumultuous. It’s all socially conditioned bullshit.
I realize I made a blanket statement at the beginning of this comment. And I recognize not everyone will see it that way. My perspective is augmented by never being allowed in either typically male or female spaces.
i recently learned that trauma bonding is what it's called when someone feels a strong connection with or affinity for their abuser. it's the reason people stay in abusive relationships, because the cycle of abuse (tension building, explosive event, reconciliation, calm) facilitates positive feelings towards your abuser.
it's been taken completely out of context and re-defined as "people bonding through a shared trauma", but unfortunately that's not the case & the confusion has been deeply stressful & confusing for folks. 😬
i cant get over how cute, funny and beautiful maddie is!!! greetings from germany ❤
yesss representong german bottom nation hii
@@ninreck5121 juhuuu es braucht mehr von uns!
"it's not even the male gaze, it's like, the magazine gaze"
"the male gaze isn't even of/from men, it's capitalism, consumerism, etc."
YES. PERFECTLY SAID.
Yes! "Capital M Male gaze" was the perfect encapsulation imo 👌
An important note imo, trauma bonding actually doesn't mean either of the things mentioned. A trauma bond is the attachment formed between an abuse victim and the abuser during the abuse. It's not at all meant to refer to a connection that happens between two traumatized people after the fact (but is often misunderstood that way, so I'm sure you guys have just seen it misused a lot.)
No.
There’s several types of trauma bonds INCLUDING two traumatized people ‘bonding’ over being traumatized.
Don’t talk about things you know nothing about.
google says ur wrong @@Thecodexnoir
@@Thecodexnoir that's not anything I've ever heard about. In fact I've heard it explicitly stated in academic materials that trauma bonding only applies to an unhealthy bond formed during abuse. Feel free to post sources if you actually have any, but I've studied psych since I was old enough to read a psychology textbook and have heard nothing about what you're saying 🤷♂️
@@morgueish 😆 You may have read them, but you clearly didn’t comprehend them as you have no Scholastic foundation in Psychology.
It’s very simple, try to keep up, when a traumatized person is retelling a traumatic experience, to them & their BRAIN it can be & very often is, identical to the actual event, therefore, they’re in a state of Trauma.
TRAUMA Bonding does NOT only come from abuse, it’s not called ‘Abuse Bonding’.
What you are ATTEMPTING to refer to is Fawning & Stockholm Syndrome.
@morgueish @codexnoir8824 from my studies too, trauma bonding does indeed refer to the trauma based bonding that happens during cycles of abuse between abuser and the victim/survivors. From what I've seen, the term has kind of trickled into common language use but detached from its original meaning since understandably, if you don't know the origin, it does sound like it could possibly mean "people bonding over similar traumatizing experiences". For the purpose of preventing abuse and encouraging cycles of healing, I think it's valuable to talk about both patterns and their potential impacts. 💚
Had to pause at minute 25 just now to comment to express how much I appreciate this episode already. As a Mexican and fellow woman of the plum, I was cackling at the "we can't all be Mexican" jokes and Maddie's jokes about themselves. I love everything about this. I went to an Improv theater last week and was bummed to not see any Latina comedians up there. It gave me a little more momentum to keep writing jokes to work the courage to get up there one day. Really appreciate how much going to a couple of your shows (Irvine in 2022 & Sacramento a few months ago) is inspiration for me and am hoping to see more people who look like me up there too.
I think this is my favourite episode, such amazing conversations. And during Ash's section I think y'all were addressing how the patriarchy hurts men, they're raised in a way that has caused this discrepancy between advice from a lesbian vs advice from a dude.
My friend group also has a term like "woman of the plum". We call it "goddess body" and Maddie absolutely falls into that.
Chrisela Alonzo, Anjela Johnson - two Latina stand ups off the top of my head...
I know i cant believe I didnt remember Anjelah
Woop Woop 🎉 I loved loved loved this episode! It resonated with me on so many levels! I'm a fat bi chick who grew up in Panama 😁 also a great read for those seeking to wrap their mind around what it means to be a larger size in our culture is a book by Jes Baker called "Things no one will tell fat girls: a handbook for unapologetic living" & despite the title it's for anyone, regardless of where you fall on the gender spectrum or flow 😉 Love y'all, you make my Mondays so happy!🤗
I want these 3 together every week.
Maddie! OMG, thank you!! I'm attracted to people with my body type, but as a genderqueer person I am dysphoric about my body and actively considering surgery. It's such a strange place to be 💜
20 minutes in and this is already the best episode everrr! 😂
2:53 she said Cheery Queerio 😂 💙🦋
The sad tree joke 🤣🤣🤣
I have a google phone and it was also quite expensive - but still cheaper than an iphone. The biggest difference ive heard of is that apple is really user-friendly, and android is more customizable.
Maddie you are a fucking genius
oh so this is the girl that screamed at someone to kill themselves during a show
Not me having an iPhone with cricket 😂😂😂😂
Greetings from the San Francisco bay area!!1st time listener,so be gentle!You ladies are absolutely delightful.I might have to venture into the city Saturday and check out your show!I needed some comic relief!The rings on a tree!!!HYSTERICAL!
As a woman of the plump I thought I didn't have a chance with Ashley, I have found a new item for my bucket list 😂
Maddie starting a podcast?? i'm so hyped!
as a mexican that wasnt offensive at all lmao and i def feel the same of sensing our crazy rich asian moment soon fs
The rest of the world uses Android. Now iPhones won't have the weird chargers anymore.
Hey from Cape Cod Mass. This was THE funniest thing I've listened to in a while...Isa had me rolling !!!!
Maddie kills me every time! I want to say, as a fat person, the fat conversation was interesting but stull fatphobic in a lot of ways so if you had a guest who is fat and actively pro/outspoken about fat liberation maybe you could talk more about it... also fat sex is super fun to talk about so i hope theres a guest you could find like that one day. ❤
Omg it's like this episode was made for me. Hi, im a bisexual femme...ish....bottom...it's so difficult for me personally, to get women because I'm femme....so I cut my hair 😂😂 that seemed to work last time and it's easier to deal with haha 😂😂
I just go to the apps now 😅
Ahhhhh so excited to see Ashley in Albany. Also Maddie is so adorable in this episode. 😍
Going straight to lulu lemon so i too can get called a woman of the plum 🏃♀️
I love how she brings up Iphones being superior. But as someone who grew up with computers turning into phones and all that. Ive always hated apple and after using them I realised Iphones were for the simple minded. And Iphone users always hated how complicated Android was because its not restricted.
I feel like I just watched Ashley and Maddie fall in love 😂❤
"No? Ok, well give me a dollar" 😂 loved it
Honestly cracking up at Issa thinking iphones and androids cost the same 😭😭. Like, I've had a rough year so I bought my current android phone for $60 including taxes and fees and whatever. I think the cheapest phone I've bought was like $35. Googled it and the listed price for what is labled the cheapest iphone is over $400. No shade as she genuinely doesn't know, but yeah, androids exist at poor people prices and iphones do not.
Meanwhile my iphone cost me $80 used and my brother just got a $1,000 samsung. I think some of it is perspective. They’re all expensive lol
@@hlc834 I mean, you can't really compare buying a used phone for $80, and buying one new from the store for less than $40, and say they're all expensive as if it evens out. Technology is overpriced across the board, but if you're paying more than a hundred dollars for your Samsung, it's because you chose to. There's no option to buy an iPhone new for under a few hundred dollars. That's a huge difference.
The difference between iPhones and androids is that there is a wide variety of android phones by different companies at different price levels while there's only one iPhone company with pretty much 1 or 2 current phone models.
ao yes, you can get an android far cheaper than an iPhone AND you can get an android that is just as expensive and high end as an iPhone.
Lafayette!, I am Here! Support'n ya so far, won't stop now...
My favorite part is Ashley’s bit about drops …it reminds me of my gf XD
Slay Maddie!❤. Woman of the Plum for sure!!
I’m here for Maddie and Madddie only ❤🥰
I'd love it if yall brought Cate back for an episode:)
Aida Rodriguez is another latinx comedian
I love that we all thirst over Maddie every time we see their boobs😂
As a self titled woman of the plum (similar figure to maddy) her part about feeling dysphoria when dressing masc at a certain weight made me pause the episode because I’ve never felt more heard then in that moment
I love this new world Ashley! 🫨🍆
Drop the Jordan Jensen episode already.
Can’t wait to see you perform in SD this week!🤩
We are delighted to be the best bottoms 😅❤
Watched this twice because of Maddie! She seems so in her own power these days!
🎉Maddie you need to be the new Lululemon spokes person.
not maddie getting a drop at 1:03:48 lmaoooo
I'm only 25 minutes in, but I really hope you guys can stop being scared of talking naturally in the podcast soon lol
trust me, i'm working on it, and i think im in a new place. i appreciate this comment so much.
@@ashgavs I love you guys and hope the best for ya! You're doing fine. Don't let the bad faith weirdos get to you
Very Woman Of The Plum❤😊❤
I typically don't need to meditate since i operate at no-thoughts head empty XD
I think one of the exception categories is those lesbians and trans women who are in the IT field. We all absolutely prefer Android over iPhone and it has nothing to do with cost.
my biggest thing to say to maddie--bc i totally get what they mean abt different clothes feeling a certain way bc of weight--is to simply follow a huge variety of fat people online.
follow fat activists and models and artists and businessowners and musicians. follow a bunch of fat people of different genders with different body types and senses of style.
i've been doing that, and i cannot express how much better i feel abt my body. bc it LITERALLY *deprograms* your brain. society has COMPLETELY fucked us up. the idea that certain clothes make us feel bad bc of preconceived notions abt our body? is basically social programming. there's a lot more depth and nuance to be had, for sure, and that doesn't mean suddenly it's super easy to just ignore it. lol
but rather--once you start deprogramming your brain, you see other fat ppl--including ones who look like you and who dress like you *want to* but think it looks bad on you--as attractive and cool and normal. and it carries over into how you perceive clothing and other stuff on yourself. it's not a comparison of who's fatter or whose body type suits whatever xyz style, etc. it's about seeing the variety of fat people there are--who are ERASED from mass media, who we rarely see or pay attention to in public--and realizing you can dress and look however the fuck you want at whatever size you are.
it's so fucking empowering and helpful, and i recommend it to ANYONE who is fat. follow fat people. look for fat liberationists, and then just go through the ppl they tag or follow! you'll find plenty of cool fat folks! and they all post cool stuff so it's really just fun to fill your instagram (or other social media) feed w them. lol
the rest of this very long comment incoming. lol
re: what ashley was saying abt fat women--
first of all that's really kind and conscientious of you to not talk abt body types of the ppl you date! what's interesting is, based on the ppl i know & based PURELY on society (&also slightly influenced by jen, as you said lol), my brain always automatically filled in a blob of a person when you describe dates and hookups, and those ppl were always thin. &i'm sure that happened to SO MANY OTHER LISTENERS/VIEWERS without even THINKING abt it. i did think abt it, but i was like "eh, it's whatever, not important" so it was chill. but now w you making an explicit statement "no, i have dated and slept w fat women, it fucking rocks", that is now in my head for all future stories. "no idea who this is or what they look like, it doesn't matter, but boy howdy, could be any type of person! Confirmed!" lol
and also i want to say that overall you really had a handle on the conversation really well, ashley, and thank you. ppl are SO fucking denigrating abt fat people, and it makes everyone so fucking tetchy abt talking abt it. but THAT'S PART OF THE PROBLEM! doing that/feeling that way just makes fatness seem MORE taboo! we gotta talk abt it, y'all.
the way weight intersects w gender and race is FUCKING *WILD*, and it's worth talking about.
people gain fat & have it distributed in different ways and places, and that affects things, too.
and also gaining weight =/= bad, and =/= "eating too much". for some people it can! hello, eating disorders. but even THIN people can "eat too much" and never gain a pound.
like the "science" around fatness and weight gain and loss is crystal fucking clear, but ALL of society & the medical industry & the weight loss industry & EVERYBODY wants us to believe things that have been disproven for DECADES. no, losing weight is not easy, safe, or sustainable. yes, weight DOES fluctuate QUITE A LOT. yes, people DO have setpoint weights, and they typically occur in late 20s. no, people DON'T generally keep off the weight they lose through drastic measures, and bc of how badly that fucks up our body's systems, MOST ppl gain back that weight and THEN SOME.
and it's just insane that we live in a society that REFUSES to accept THE FUCKING FACTS bc it's more profitable to keep people diet and weight cycling, even though (actually because) it's fucking expensive and deadly and dangerous.
no, this is not an invitation for you special fairies to come in and say "but i lost ___ pounds and kept it off!" that's nice. how's it feel to be in the 5-10% of the population that can actually manage that? alternatively, it's likely that your setpoint weight had something to do with it. like i don't need or want to hear about that. bc your individual anecdotal experience/story (which btw, studies stop keeping track of weight loss past about 3-5 years. so if you're within that range, you could still gain back the weight) is not the point. the point is that our society is SO FUCKED UP ABOUT WEIGHT. it's SO difficult to push back against this bigotry. bc ppl think it's a choice, even though the FACTS say that it's NOT.
also here's one that will have everyone losing their minds:
fat people are generally at *lower* risk for certain health conditions, and have better outcomes with surgery recovery, and also tend to live longer.
that sounds counter to everything you've ever been taught, but it's true.
there is NO documented causation btwn being fat and developing most of those diseases/conditions that ppl associate with fatness. diabetes is genetic 100% of the time, every time. pre-diabetes is a lie that was created to force feed people medication and fuck with their health insurance (in the US). fluctuation of your A1C is very common, and will eventually reset itself after a few years. they haven't looked into why it happens because they just tell people to lose weight (even though it's been proven that doesn't help at all) and then hand wave it away.
all of the things that are supposedly associated with being fat?
they're actually caused by 1. undue stress, and 2. medical neglect and abuse.
"fat people die more from this condition" because doctors don't treat fat patients the same as thin patients. it's not because being fat is somehow worse for your health.
like there's so much to this, and i'm sorry, but it is my soapbox topic. lol so i'm REALLY glad that you're being deliberate in having these conversations on the podcast, and doing your best to be both authentic/honest and considerate of the listeners/viewers!
Came to thank Maddy for the boob shot while they grabbed paper towel 🙏
Damn Maddie! You spicy as hell!
I've had multiple items where I got it then decided I didn't actually like it but hated returning things so the unused clothes were just sitting In my closet waiting for me to one day change my mind 😂
You should have Jessamyn for that representation! Queer, black, fat, yogi brilliant person!!
I feel the same way about dating women im too attracted to!! i dont kno why!!! It feels like they r too far out of reach or that they could never like me back.
a drop of awe for thee, m'lady
Actually, it's a well-known fact that iPhones have way crappier cameras. But hey I agreed with everything else LOL
Isaa specified a few sentences later that it's not the phone that is crap but the fact that picture coding is a fight between the brands and thus iPhone pics look crappy on android and vice versa :)
Maddie lookin fiiiine 😘 (as always)
Where the hell in europe was isa's friend? Or maybe i havent been to the right clubs but ive never seen disposable vibrators in vending machines...
I have actually seen some. iirc mostly in places on the road... But also in some cities.
Definitely seen them in England. And there's no way they wouldn't have them in Berlin
Maddie is fucking incredible
Matteo Lane, mexican and queer shout out. Ash Gavs you should ask him to the pod
everybody totally has their own hangups around weight, believe me, it's incredibly nuanced and painful (hi, personal experience)--
but "fat" is a neutral descriptor. take the power out of the word fat by just casually using and destigmatizing it. i am fat. people are fat. fat is a thing people have, and an adjective for stuff and ppl alike. that's all.
fat is Neutral. if we start operating that way, then so it shall be!
I’m working on this myself! Sometimes I’m more worried about how people react to me using it neutrally than using it myself. But I’m getting better. I appreciate you saying this.
@@ashgavs totally! it's definitely a difficult/touchy topic bc of the stigma and trauma. i think you did a great job starting to do that in this episode! thank you!
On that exact note, in case it's helpful to anyone reading this, I strongly recommend the podcast The Allusionist's episodes 176. and 177. Hosted by a fat person, though fatness isn't the usual focus of the podcast. The main focus is language and words in a very fun way and these two episodes happen to be about the word "fat". The guest is a fat person too, discussing the impact this word has had in their lives.
❤ adore you all so so much.
i feel like you don't let guests speak enough. i felt it before but now more episodes I watch the more I feel like the guest often gets cut off.
but I wanted answer the question on the topic of sexual freedom in europe, it is in general very open and sexually free. although eastern europe especially more catholic countries are less open, of course. but in general i feel that america has a very toxic attitude towards sex as well as nudity. here in europe we are very much aware that nudity and human body in general is not inherently sexual. there is a difference between catholic and protestant countries as well as eastern vs western europe. but still in general I would say many of the sexual subjects you mention on this podcast are not applicable in europe, because the culture is just different. but i still like to watch it because it gives me an insight into the american society. and also many many problems the queer people face are very much the same. also on the topic of iphone-android, yes it is an american thing. android phones are just as expensive if not more expensive than apple phones and most people I know have android phones. those are considered normal phones while apple phones are for snobbish people, not truly rich people. so yeah android+ whatsapp is considered normal.
my gf is about my height andva woman to drown in, my one crush is petit and my other crush is slim and slightly talker than me, it's the perfect combination
We truly do appreciate and support you Ashley ❤❤❤ Happy to hear you are moving through the difficulty ❤❤❤ - the opening of this episode is fire!! (I’m sure the rest of it is too, but I haven’t got that far yet 😂😂😂)
Yep also still on the intro just came to say we love and support you Ashley
Get JackieJ on the pod!
I’m in a hetero-looking relationship but my boyfriend is the bottom and me (the fem) is the top and it does have a different feel to it than when I used to date top men lol
european guy here (france). we do have condom machines near drugstores, so typically you can get several condoms very easily. About the sex toys, I think it's fine to bring a new toy (a bullet etc) to a hookup, i have done it myself and nobody found it weird. however i would not reuse it with someone else, and i wouldn't be comfortable using someone else's toy if it wasn't new. sorry I don't know you nor your hygiene standards, this is like using no protection. I don't trust people...
I totally get where maddie is coming from and I think bringing a toy that is still packaged is a good way around the weirdness!
I also have to disagree with the statement that toys are taboo in straight culture - they are not if you're in the BDSM/kinky scene.
Also: If you share toys, just use condoms on them as you would with a stranger anyway!
this podcast is Maddie's
I have question for you over lgbtq.
I have always wonder if fancy girls i starting questioning myself back in high school when start to fancy singer call jessie j i didn't want stay to myself that i did then see tv show like eastenders and coronation street that lesbians storyline in it then one coronation street Storyline two girls call sian and Sophie where lesbians then i start having crush on sacha parkson who plays sian powers on coronation street then i start fancy vanessa hudgens who in high school musical i fancy peter andre and zac efron and corbin bleu but only can see myself dating boys not girls i can't face coming out as bisexual because how much i love my love of my life stephen who i know from college and but i fancy my mum friend sue son jack and then i have feelings my ex friend morgan who harssed me last year on WhatsApp and Pinterest and normal text messages but then i starting having crush girl who was on 90 days fiance call Erika Owens please can you answer my question. But turth is i what be with boys then girls but I don't know how stop thinking about it
Babes, you can be bisexual and still perfer to date men. I'm bisexual, and I dont have a preference who I date, but I still find I've had more male partners than female ones. And that's ok! It doesn't make your identity any less valid! And if you would prefer to label it bi curious, that's also okay! Sexuality is fluid, and no matter how you identity, the LGBTQIA+ has a space for you❤️ hope this helped
@@jadynallen6587I have taking quiz on what is my Sexuality it stay bisexual for both of tests i have take what do it mean and i have big crush Peter Andre singer and Big crush on 90 day fiance girl Call Erika Owens please can you tell me what should i do? Can i be bisexual only like men and women no another genders
@@jadynallen6587i love men more then women but i still crushs on girls
@@jadynallen6587i know like both men and women i cant face coming out as bisexual
@@jadynallen6587 i know like both men and women i can't face coming out to my mum she isn't fan of lesbians and my dad in heaven and she would question me if i would kiss girl i have never never kiss girl before only boy on lips please can you help me what to do
Iphones are totally american culture!FACT!
Gotta say Maddie figuring out genderfluidity then wrestling with men and it turning into kissing is pretty fucking gay......no longer a gay virgin!!!!!!!!!!! congrats!!!!!!!
girl mode activated
Bring kate back
😎😃😊😜😍😘💖🌹
With the vibrator scenario, if it was brand new, still literally in the packet, then I would be fine, be if it was one he owned that he used on all his one night stands, no, I wouldn't be cool with that. I just think it's unsanitary.
I've had a guy try this, he had only used them with his last situationship, but still, I'm not down with that. I just think that plastic/rubber they're made with, accumulate germs, I think its weird using other people's sex toys, unless it's owned/only used by the actual person you're sleeping with.
Most sex toy materials cannot be full sanitized so I'd feel the same. New in the box or perhaps with a condom on it.
How did you know I was a bottom?
“we can’t all be mexican” is an insane comment. comedy and humor has no race. lmfao 🤡 if you have a personality then the shoe fits. you do not have to try too hard.
i am latina, do not come for me in the comments. i just think it is weird that this society is OBSESSED WITH RACE AND ETHNICITY. it is sick and sad.
Ashley... I know I'm attractive 🫣 gurl 😂 I generally want to know was that meant to be real like that's how blatantly like I know I'm fucking fine you are or was that being a sarcastic joke with some humbleness in there as to I don't think I'm completely attractive I don't see what you guys see some days I think I look better than most but thank you Maddie
Thanks for the triggering weight comments! Love when that happens while I eat my lunch to my comfort show :)
comment for the algorithm
Compared to proper Fat male comedians like Ralphie May, Fluffy, John Candy, Chris Farley she is hardly full figured.
Okay as a plus size woman… thank you for speaking so kindly about bodies like mine. It never happens in a way like this. I needed it today 🥹
I cannot longer watch old episodes of this podcast. Without Maddie it's just not the same 😂 such a funny woman of the plump🍑
pointing out your co-hosts sweat on a huge platform was just insufferable to watch
What does this mean, Allison?
@@ashgavs read it again womp womp, Ashley!
Blah super anti trans movie being advertised on this vid :(((