Imagine dreaming about playing football your entire life and you finally get picked up by the nfl, only to get drafted by a team named the “superbowls”.
In the lore of Blitz: The League, every attempt to make The League more like real-life NFL with drug tests and safety precautions ended up with record-low audience turnouts and player strikes, so the referees are literally just there to count the score and keep the time.
**zooms in on intestines exploding** Jerma: Oh my god! .......that's somebody's asshole... I hope it's not mine... **zooms out** Jerma: nah it's mine... it's mine...
@@britishbeef4890 i know this comment is a year late but its a reference to a video from the original jerma channel, i think it was called "the pictures are here"
I'd like to take this moment to also say that I had a dream last night where I was on a pirate ship. But then it suddenly broke apart and sank, and I was floating through the ocean, when a hand grabbed me and brought me onto some dock. And on that dock was Jerma himself, surrounded by adoring fans, and I got to high-five him. It felt so real.
So I’m actually a surgical technologist and I just wanted to say, thank you for keeping me in business. Scrotum repairs are through the roof right now.
Of course jerma wouldn’t do something as mediocre as stream a sports game, no it’s the sports game with the gross “in-body injury screen” mortal kombat feature.
25:19 is one of the greatest Jerma985 clips of all time. The music, the play, the jukes, the opponent who ran around Jeremys character twice in under a second, the injury, the touchdown itself. Perfect play.
"Let's get together tonight so you can try some of your moves on me." jerma only accepted tara's offer because he thought he was going to get to shatter another skull that night
These are team-wide injuries that should result in the post-game interview just being a group of reporters hollering at a bloody table of half-dead bodies in agonizing moans.
I honestly think the internal injury shots are more disgusting than ANY Mortal Combat finisher, just the visceral sounds alone makes me feel incredibly ill (at least Jerma's lovely and insightful commentary makes up for it)
Krishna Dewa EXACTLY! In MK it’s just stupid silly stuff that’s virtually impossible to pull off, while here it’s like ‘oh yeah watch this guy’s balls explode blood and cum everywhere and yes this is a real thing’
"Watch out for the- aagguuu hehehe watch out for the- watch out for the- and he haaaaguuurororor. Watch out for the goal..." "And the field goal is good" Jerma: "hah.... What's this guy's name?" I could feel Jerma channeling this guy's energy
My only memory of this game is playing at my cousin's house at like 2 in the morning and seeing him go around a corner in the basement to piss in a bottle
Nah, he says, "I'm in love." (Referring to tara.) Then, he says "and that's expensive." (Referring to her getting him discounts on steroids for his players)
I remember watching this stream so long ago holy shit, it was one of the most awkward but funniest streams I had watched from Jerma in a while, but I loved it so much. Thank you Mack for the great upload and thank you Jerma for some of the funniest moments I can recall from the last decade and even this one
Jerma is like the bullies in the Karate Kid who will willingly get eliminated just to be able to illegally injure the other team. He's so excited about it whenever it happens.
Someone had to program and develop semen in a football game.
They didn't do a very good job, it looked thinner than skim milk
@@KingHalbatorix The cum thickness is arguably the worst part of this game
I haven't finished watching the video
WHAT
I hate this comment section.
@@flatterswhite Unrealistic cum physics 0/10 game sucks
they're called half backs bc that's how much functioning spine they have left when they retire
John Madden presents: Internal Hemorrhaging
More like internal HemoRAGING, cuz mad because bad.
Imagine dreaming about playing football your entire life and you finally get picked up by the nfl, only to get drafted by a team named the “superbowls”.
Imagine seeing multiple murders during your time on said team
Imagine being one of their halfbacks
Imagine getting your neck snapped while playing.
*regular tackle*
*Player's spine shatters into dust*
it's super effective?
Player trips: career ending injury
The halfback was that Spongebob guy with paper skin and glass bones
Every morning i break my legs
@@Mirolovic100 And every afternoon I con a couple of class-A suckaroonis.
And they called me Mr Glass
If you look at his stats he had 97 injury resistance apparently
It's not even football anymore, this is a legal bloodsport
And he was only out for 5 games.
In the lore of Blitz: The League, every attempt to make The League more like real-life NFL with drug tests and safety precautions ended up with record-low audience turnouts and player strikes, so the referees are literally just there to count the score and keep the time.
I’d say actual football already counts as a bloodsport.
@@burgbass Nah, modern football is for pussies.
@Zorro9129 Not like back in the good ol’ days when you could get away with exploding hearts and actual decapitation
**zooms in on intestines exploding**
Jerma: Oh my god! .......that's somebody's asshole... I hope it's not mine...
**zooms out**
Jerma: nah it's mine... it's mine...
@@lonli_boi_ you don't have to thank anyone, this isn't the grammies or some shit
What is the time stamp for this?
@@britishbeef4890 thats what I want to know I missed
@@britishbeef4890 i know this comment is a year late but its a reference to a video from the original jerma channel, i think it was called "the pictures are here"
Your halfback was afflicted by Robey’s curse. You traded him so now every half back gets injured that tries to replace him
Introducing: The Las Vegas Taco Bell Ball Busters
Baha Ball Blasters
@@Wabbaaajack ＋２
*caves someone skull in with a helmet* wow you should try some of those moves on me~
I brought a friend and an extra helmet~~ ;)
Gachimuchi wannabe
@@OGSumo
Plot twist: It's purple
It's the Miles Garret technique
Nobody got it :(
Jerma’s Comment Section and the Half-Baked Joke
@Ruth Okay bot
yeouch
Maybe the real Mr Super Bowl were the injuries we made along the way
Clap
seeing you everywhere
The balls that busted.
I'd like to take this moment to also say that I had a dream last night where I was on a pirate ship. But then it suddenly broke apart and sank, and I was floating through the ocean, when a hand grabbed me and brought me onto some dock. And on that dock was Jerma himself, surrounded by adoring fans, and I got to high-five him. It felt so real.
@@bugjams Dreams are usually a message from your subconscious so this could be saying a lot about you or nothing at all.
25:01 that guy stuck there running in the background for a solid 20 seconds lol
So I’m actually a surgical technologist and I just wanted to say, thank you for keeping me in business.
Scrotum repairs are through the roof right now.
H..how do you repair balls?
@@N._99 a general surgeon/urologist, a set of fine instruments, more sutures and staples than i’m at liberty to say, and about two hours.
@@youngarchaeotech189 I cant even imagine it being a pretty sight, let alone where youd even find.. replacements? Is that a thing? Donor sacks?
@@N._99 If you think that hospitals don't have a hand in black market organ bullshit, well, they do. I'd guess
@@ImperialFister never did I think for a second they didnt. Lotta corruption goes on that never gets mentioned
The only football game where you can give someone both CTE and CBT
Part two of testicular smashing hell yes
Do i like testicular smashing? no. But i like this comment
CBT OTHERWISE KNOWN AS COCK AND BALL TORTURE
@@strawberrytofu4990 IS A SEXUAL ACTIVITY INVOLVING APPLICATION OF PAIN OR CONSTRICTION TO THE PENIS OR TESTICLES
B A L L S T R E T C H E R
24:33 gotta love the byeah commentary
18:00 instant regret
Why is there ass slapping and semen in a football game
@@suggestiveguy they are integral parts of the american football
Suggestion Guy: Why aren’t the arse slaps and ball busting in Madden? That might actually get me interested.
Of course jerma wouldn’t do something as mediocre as stream a sports game, no it’s the sports game with the gross “in-body injury screen” mortal kombat feature.
For the first time I saw that I thought it was an editing joke.
this game slaps because its got personality tho :flushed:
AKA: the MOST ORIGINAL SPORTS GAME IN THE LAST 15 YEARS
Football Manager: Sniper Elite Edition
@@a_random_-guy oh, so everyone else did too
Jerma is the only person I will sit through something this nauseating for.
What's nauseating? The game or the injurys . Or just football
@@HorizonofOsiris The team colours.
Agreed
@@HorizonofOsiris Yes.
@@HorizonofOsiris good ol internal bleeding and collarbones snappin
18:03
I died when he canceled the celebration
He didn’t even say a word, he’s just like “nope.”
Feminist jerma
25:19 is one of the greatest Jerma985 clips of all time. The music, the play, the jukes, the opponent who ran around Jeremys character twice in under a second, the injury, the touchdown itself. Perfect play.
That shit was lame, though. He had a huge lead.
And the random music that autoplays after sweet victory
7:26 Jerma loses his gf ON STREAM
"Let's get together tonight so you can try some of your moves on me."
jerma only accepted tara's offer because he thought he was going to get to shatter another skull that night
@@InebriatedImbecile Jermas bloodthirst is unquenchable
What’s funny is his actual girlfriend is also named Kim
@@irishmanrants89 oof this did not age well
SquidLizard oh no
"I don't want a legal girlfriend" - Jeremy, moments before FBI bust down his door
Pretty sure he said illegal but sure
I've been reading "Half Backed Prince" as "Half Baked Prince" for so long because of how stoned the dude in the thumbnail looks
*smashes player's head with a helmet*
It's the thrill of one more kill...
I don’t even like sports, why the hell has this been one of my favourite games to watch you play now.
Same, zero interest in football, but these videos are freaking hilarious.
because fõötbæll
Because its actually a game jermas good at for once
Exactly! Had zero interest but after these am going back to the archives to watch
It's a great satire
24:48 For an emotional montage of aggravated assult
24:30 I feel like the commentator could literally be reiterating one of jermas jokes from another video
That one with the 2D crazy-looking commentators.
jesus christ is this game INTENDED to get you horrified at the staggering amount of injury that goes on in football ????
Yep.
Lol I was a kid playing this. The staggering amount of injury in this game gives it its praise.
Watch a real game of football and marvel at the life threatening head injuries
@@TheVolginator Every game, at LEAST 3 players rupture their balls. Without fail. It's truly a thing to see.
Footballer gets concussed -> damages part of brain controlling aggression -> kill family
* trips on the ground *
balls explode, skull fractured, ribs shattered, shoulder bone coming out of the skin
hospital stay: a couple weeks
These are team-wide injuries that should result in the post-game interview just being a group of reporters hollering at a bloody table of half-dead bodies in agonizing moans.
mr superbowl has killed more people than the amount of touchdowns he’s made
Anybody else notice that Sullivan had a 97 injury resist? Yeah, me neither...
No
Clearly the game glitched out and didn't show the negative next to that.
omg the guy's face at 15:34, he looks so done
I petition to have the Superbowlers be a real team
I'd watch football a LOT more
But the amount of deaths would be unreal
In the XFL
Compact manager murders his entire team and asks for choccy milky
I honestly think the internal injury shots are more disgusting than ANY Mortal Combat finisher, just the visceral sounds alone makes me feel incredibly ill (at least Jerma's lovely and insightful commentary makes up for it)
More of how unlike mortal kombat you know that this stuff actually happens
Krishna Dewa EXACTLY! In MK it’s just stupid silly stuff that’s virtually impossible to pull off, while here it’s like ‘oh yeah watch this guy’s balls explode blood and cum everywhere and yes this is a real thing’
I know Combat is the correct spelling, but seeing it without a K in this context just feels wrong
At some point I just started closing my eyes when the cutscenes start
Finally, a game with ball-busting action.
22:43 NO NOT THE TOP ROPE
NAH I CAN'T TAKE IT
That game makes me glad I was never the jock type. Or someone who ever touched a football. Or left the house.
Nerd cope
@キイキイ nerd cope
Nerd cope
nerd cope
Nerd coke
1:29 i've heard that "Oh no" before
Oml, how did you catch that
Mr Brimstone when? Huh? I am dumb
th-cam.com/video/kkDMz2ml0gw/w-d-xo.html
That’s genuinely hilarious
''three musketeers, like the candy??''
actual crazy person
"Watch out for the- aagguuu hehehe watch out for the- watch out for the- and he haaaaguuurororor. Watch out for the goal..."
"And the field goal is good"
Jerma: "hah.... What's this guy's name?"
I could feel Jerma channeling this guy's energy
18:00 Jerma made the most clutch save
*player stubs toe*
*entire spine immediately snaps in half*
So this is that CBT game
"I just want Kim back" pain
That aged so incredibly poorly it’s insane
Yeah, it's like he's cursed or something. That kind of stuff always happens on his stream.
What happened?
@@vulkantheprimarch8905 they broke up like a month ago
@@cooliofoods4132 oof. Why?
Me: I would like to try being a half-back for the las Vegas superbowls.
Enemy Team: _Peace was never an option._
I don't know who a half back is or what he does, all I know is that I never want to be one.
He runs the ball on running plays
@@abdulali7329 He should be called the ball runner then.
On second thought, maybe he shouldn't be called that.
Jackson Percy Halfbacks are basically running backs so you could just call them that
25:04 Me, tryna outrun the killer in my dream
oH MY GOd the *q u a r t e r b a c k* Is Tozt
16:11
"Fuck it, deep ball into triple coverage" - major Rex Grossman energy
He actually skipped the cheerleader scene?
Man, Twitch has inconsistent terms.
16:30 I just now realized that guy got back up and plowed someone immediately.
Local X does Y on stream
You’ve done it! You’ve broken comedy down to it’s bare essentials!
The physics of funny
X + Y = stream
Local stream - X does stream - Y on X + Y
Local "insert job" does "insert action" on "insert platform"
He played sweet victory.
Jerma does what Maddon't.
Robbie "Glass-Bones" has nothing on Sullivan "Squishy Spleen"
12:44 You know as a Titans fan, that kinda looks familiar.
But I can’t but my finger on it...
I think 25:30 is one of the most beautifully disgusting things I've ever seen
My only memory of this game is playing at my cousin's house at like 2 in the morning and seeing him go around a corner in the basement to piss in a bottle
This is one of my favorite streams, I hope they make another game like it
"I'm in love and that's expensive"
-2ndJerma
Nah, he says, "I'm in love." (Referring to tara.) Then, he says "and that's expensive." (Referring to her getting him discounts on steroids for his players)
@@gilbertfry5539 no
@@owownwowlson8524 It's too late. I have already corrected you. Like many others, you may never recover from such humiliation.
Both of you idiots are wrong, he said “I’m in love (referring to Tara), those are expensive (referring to drugs).”
1:30
Jerma channels his inner Knuckles.
I find it intetersting that a sports game has a story
loved when jeremy yelled that was my favourite part
Football but everyone is Mr. Glass
Local dwarf uploads new video.
22:49 I love the silent laugh in the split second pause
this is the only game series in 4 or 5 years in which Jerma's Boston accent comes back in full force
I dont think ive laughed this hard in years. This game is ridiculous
8:11 "I want Kim back" FeelsBadMan
8:42 BUST A NUT
Ive heard of ball breaking, but this is ridiculous.
I remember watching this stream so long ago holy shit, it was one of the most awkward but funniest streams I had watched from Jerma in a while, but I loved it so much. Thank you Mack for the great upload and thank you Jerma for some of the funniest moments I can recall from the last decade and even this one
4:25 John Madden: KreyGasm
I've never felt more queezy in my life than watching a man's collar bone be snapped like a twig. On to a new video...
This game is everything christian moms thought arcades were in the 80’s
Aggravated Assault: The Game
Local man falls in love with a drug dealer
Jerma is like the bullies in the Karate Kid who will willingly get eliminated just to be able to illegally injure the other team. He's so excited about it whenever it happens.
This entire game feels like every play is just your dude collapsing at the five
a thousand crunches every day is psychopath level
That play from 15:03 to 15:15 had me laugh my ASS off, kinda like you were, man! I've NEVER seen 3 fumbles in one play! LMFAO!!!!
Kim looking different
She got a pretty good tan now, like a really good tan
The injury visuals in this game make me want to vomit
23:00 these cheerleaders got it rough
I’m so glad jerma played blitz, even if I wasn’t there for the stream, these vids are golden
The amount of times this man throws a hail mary into double coverage is ASTOUNDING
I can't believe how enamored I got with this, Jerma's energy is just great.
27:57 Somebody once told me
I haven't watched you in about a year or two... 😯
I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH! 😭
6:18 Jerma pulls an American Psycho
Ah my favourite game starring roided CJ from GTA returns
I don't know how sportsball works.
Vinny and Jerma reference each other constantly but they've hardly streamed together
what da heck
@20:45 House almost burnt down. Watching this while cooking, crying cause I was laughing so hard.
The Las Vegas Baja blasts
I like how he says Otto the Player's name the same way he says Otto the Doggy's name