I understand Patrick. I was sexually abused as a child. And like Patrick, in my 20's, I was a people pleaser. At 23 my best friend at that time told me to "stop trying to save the world". Unfortunately he walked away from our friendship and I didn't understand why until I reached 40. Through all those years I didn't recall being abused, but I always felt depressed.. now I know why. When I did remember, guilt and shame came to live with me. Anxiety has also moved in. Until recently I did not know how much this shaped my life and shaped who I am. Struggling a lot. There are days when I can't get out of bed. I'm the one who always says "everything's good" when asked how things are going. While on the inside I'm dieing.
I know this video is not about me and this caller is the focus, but that was my childhood too. I was parentified around age 10, 100% my parents emotional dumpster/therapist. I would actually give them advice and try to help them starting at 10. This comment gave me a lot of validation as I go through anger spells and can’t shake the utter frustration that comes with knowing they’ll never have consequences or repercussions of their actions. Sometimes I feel like I am nuts and a bad person because if it was really that bad…they would be locked away right? Long story short, thank you. I really needed to see this. Sorry for the rant.
He should watch “Juno.” That guy wasn’t ready to be married and have a house in suburbia. Right in the middle of adopting a baby, he got more and more committed to his band, and he and his wife divorced. He let everyone down because he shouldn’t have been in that position in the first place.
Saw the thumbnail and instantly related. Been feeling so overwhelmed at work lately. We re short staff now and the work sometimes suddenly pilles up. When I'm stressed I avoid food and my supervisor has noticed it and he worries that I overworry about the work volume. I feel like it's hard to stop for a moment and really breath and accept things cannot always go the best. I've lost some weight again due to the stress at work and breaking down sometimes. I'm scared of relapsing with anorexia since avoiding food is really easy to me specially at this point. I can definitely relate to this guy's story. I really hope he is doing well.
Ill say a prayer for you. I hope everything works out for you. You are worth it to take time for yourself and take a break. Id give you a big hug if I were there.
I had a busy, toxic, nonstop job for 7 years. I broke. SSRIs and a new company worked well for the last couple years. Feeling the overwhelm again lately. Busy job, three young kids, a house, dogs, two cars, lots of kids activities, non existent fitness. It’s all just a lot.
caller said his girlfriend of 4 years wants to get married. this dude is probably gonna be out of work and do bands full time. if he gets married, then kids come, and he will hate his life because he won't have band time anymore
This guy needs to take some time to figure out if he wants to go all in on his music or continue to do it part time and still struggling between his sales jobs and music career. Which ever roads he decided to go all in, success or fail, he needs to take ownership of it. He is far from ready to get married (mentally and emotionally). Don't bring a wife and potential future children into the world when you're still unstable in life. If your gf is pressuring you to get married and you're clearly not ready (emotionally and mentally) you need to be honest with her and let her go. It's not fair to lead her on, let her go find someone whose ready for marriage and kids. If you're being honest with her, tell her you're not ready to get married and might not be ready for a long time, yet she still decided to stay with her, then that's on her. Atleast you told her the truth and gave her a choice. If she decides to stay, that decision is 100% on her.
My husband had similar issues though not the molesting. It is very hard to live with someone with so much past trauma. Like Dr John said he has no picture of what peace looks like. He is emeshed with his brother and mother because they had to be to survive. He’s depressed and doesn’t handle things correctly. He doesn’t know what a stable family life looks like and that really effects our children. I have my own issues but not so much childhood trauma. I’ve taken parenting classes and I still feel lost all the time.
Aw sorry you're going through that. i'm not a parent but I've watched 20 children at one time so it's hard. I can't even be a care giver anymore cause it's too stressful let alone work with children
Mark you can't be serious 🧐. John panders to females. I think he has a doctorate in bull-sheetery. My fourteen-year-old daughter can give better advice than this guy. For you to think John is wise speaks volumes about you.
My colleague (a catering manager) and I (the chef) were overwhelmed at this service. It was just us two, as no caterer from work could help us. A couple were out of town, a few were preoccupied with personal stuff, and the rest had other shifts to work. There was one particular guy we thought we could count on, but no. It was a TIRING night for me and my colleague, and you know what? We deserved it. Turns out, the said caterer chose to not help us, because we were too hard on him for some mistakes he made. And I'd say he was right.
As soon as I stopped caring about "making it" in music, I started making really good fucking music. I stopped subconsciously (and consciously) making decisions that I thought would please a wide audience. I stopped using theory and formulas and doing things that were popular. I just went all in on the things I like to hear and the way I want it to be. I went from making stuff that was ok to absolutely mind blowing (in my opinion). I still don't care about making it and I don't even release my music. It's not about making money and banging super models anymore. I didn't give up. I woke up.
I’m with you on this. I have been massively burned out for over a year now with my job. I just put in my two weeks. Do you have the option to move to a different position within your company to keep the pension? Otherwise, take advantage of your vacation days and plan a long vacation that you can look forward too. Take time for your hobbies, relaxation and fun experiences that bring you joy. Spend time with people you love. Recharge whenever you can. Hopefully the next 8 years won’t be too bad and you can recover from the burn out. The pension will be amazing to retire with ❤️
I'm back to watching John. Glad I'm back. Didn't like the intersection s with his staff before. Didn't think they respected him but also he seems more on top of his game too.
The music industry is so much like the lottery. Maybe this show will be my big break, maybe this co-write this song etc etc. and then you’re constantly waiting for life to begin. My advice is let it go and still play music. Let it go and still write. Find paying work that makes you happy, get sleep, and then in other times make music. Reframe your worldview so that you can matter MORE than music industry “street cred.” ❤️
Get out. Where I work they just installed metal detectors. Someone a week ago threatened to shoot where I work with a gun. There are people at my job that say they think about suicide because of their job. I’ve seen a few women yell and cry only to go back to their job and repeat the same cycle the next week. Some jobs are NOT MEANT for some people. I currently like where I work but some people are literally in hell where I work and their only way out is finding another job. A few people where I work haven’t gotten a raise in 7 years and they still stay committed to the job. I don’t understand it.
I can sympathize I am feeling suicidal I Don’t know what to do With myself .i feel like life is running me rather than me running my life .need A big change ahhhhhhhh
Hope you are feelong better! One thing and one day at a time. We only get one life try to keep that in mind so you make more of an effort to avoid the toxic, the over work, the stress and the rushed lifestyle.
The caller is obviously mentally struggling, has a disorder and is seeking help. Yet all you can do is make a pathetic joke at the expense of someone's ailment. You are a genuine piece of trash.
Caller is not just a people-pleaser he is indecisive which is his biggest problem. He can't decide which band, can't decide to marry or break up, can't decide which/what career to build. Look, he's 30 years old, is it any wonder he is burned out when he spread out too thin, so nothing really gets accomplished. Definitely think he should have already dropped his girlfriend at least 2 years ago because her reproductive years are slipping through her fingers, no reason to be loyal to this guy when he can't even be loyal to 1 band. He probably has had multiple trysts with fans; she needs to find a guy stable in his career and is looking for wife/mother candidate, they're out there. Chances are high that even with therapy this guy will be pretty much in the same spot when he hits 40 years old, perpetual Peter Pan (and he'll be an alcoholic by then).
Once your passion turns into a “job”…..it becomes a struggle.
I so admire this Caller and wish him the absolute best. This is one of John's finest!
I understand Patrick. I was sexually abused as a child. And like Patrick, in my 20's, I was a people pleaser. At 23 my best friend at that time told me to "stop trying to save the world". Unfortunately he walked away from our friendship and I didn't understand why until I reached 40. Through all those years I didn't recall being abused, but I always felt depressed.. now I know why. When I did remember, guilt and shame came to live with me. Anxiety has also moved in. Until recently I did not know how much this shaped my life and shaped who I am. Struggling a lot. There are days when I can't get out of bed. I'm the one who always says "everything's good" when asked how things are going. While on the inside I'm dieing.
You can do it. Don't give up.
Thanks for sharing I can relate to you and this guy. I feel so bad for this guy. That's what I do to try and save the world it's too much to take on.
John is so understanding and he can pick up on so many things that are unsaid. I hope this guy finds the help he needs.
Parents who use their children as therapists should serve jail time. It’s child abuse.
I know this video is not about me and this caller is the focus, but that was my childhood too. I was parentified around age 10, 100% my parents emotional dumpster/therapist. I would actually give them advice and try to help them starting at 10. This comment gave me a lot of validation as I go through anger spells and can’t shake the utter frustration that comes with knowing they’ll never have consequences or repercussions of their actions. Sometimes I feel like I am nuts and a bad person because if it was really that bad…they would be locked away right?
Long story short, thank you. I really needed to see this. Sorry for the rant.
It sounds like his parents have already done lots of time! By the sounds of things I'd be surprised if this dude wasn't born in jail!
I needed to hear this call. I feel like I’m on the brink of a nervous breakdown.
Dr John’s advice spot on , I’m in a parallel situation , his advice hit home , at this point have no choice but to follow it , long over due
He should watch “Juno.” That guy wasn’t ready to be married and have a house in suburbia. Right in the middle of adopting a baby, he got more and more committed to his band, and he and his wife divorced. He let everyone down because he shouldn’t have been in that position in the first place.
Saw the thumbnail and instantly related.
Been feeling so overwhelmed at work lately.
We re short staff now and the work sometimes suddenly pilles up.
When I'm stressed I avoid food and my supervisor has noticed it and he worries that I overworry about the work volume.
I feel like it's hard to stop for a moment and really breath and accept things cannot always go the best.
I've lost some weight again due to the stress at work and breaking down sometimes. I'm scared of relapsing with anorexia since avoiding food is really easy to me specially at this point.
I can definitely relate to this guy's story.
I really hope he is doing well.
Ill say a prayer for you. I hope everything works out for you. You are worth it to take time for yourself and take a break. Id give you a big hug if I were there.
This fella is me. I feel his pain. I been through similar. People pleaser not a fun gift but necessary for the job I do.
I had a busy, toxic, nonstop job for 7 years. I broke. SSRIs and a new company worked well for the last couple years. Feeling the overwhelm again lately. Busy job, three young kids, a house, dogs, two cars, lots of kids activities, non existent fitness. It’s all just a lot.
caller said his girlfriend of 4 years wants to get married. this dude is probably gonna be out of work and do bands full time. if he gets married, then kids come, and he will hate his life because he won't have band time anymore
He will make band time
He can probably just do both. People have hobbies, are married, have kids, work and survive.
This guy needs to take some time to figure out if he wants to go all in on his music or continue to do it part time and still struggling between his sales jobs and music career. Which ever roads he decided to go all in, success or fail, he needs to take ownership of it.
He is far from ready to get married (mentally and emotionally). Don't bring a wife and potential future children into the world when you're still unstable in life. If your gf is pressuring you to get married and you're clearly not ready (emotionally and mentally) you need to be honest with her and let her go.
It's not fair to lead her on, let her go find someone whose ready for marriage and kids.
If you're being honest with her, tell her you're not ready to get married and might not be ready for a long time, yet she still decided to stay with her, then that's on her. Atleast you told her the truth and gave her a choice. If she decides to stay, that decision is 100% on her.
John the man. Thank you.
My husband had similar issues though not the molesting. It is very hard to live with someone with so much past trauma. Like Dr John said he has no picture of what peace looks like. He is emeshed with his brother and mother because they had to be to survive. He’s depressed and doesn’t handle things correctly. He doesn’t know what a stable family life looks like and that really effects our children. I have my own issues but not so much childhood trauma. I’ve taken parenting classes and I still feel lost all the time.
Aw sorry you're going through that. i'm not a parent but I've watched 20 children at one time so it's hard. I can't even be a care giver anymore cause it's too stressful let alone work with children
"do you want to stop?" > John is so good at cutting through everything and asking the REAL question underneath it all.
Mark you can't be serious 🧐. John panders to females. I think he has a doctorate in bull-sheetery. My fourteen-year-old daughter can give better advice than this guy. For you to think John is wise speaks volumes about you.
My colleague (a catering manager) and I (the chef) were overwhelmed at this service. It was just us two, as no caterer from work could help us. A couple were out of town, a few were preoccupied with personal stuff, and the rest had other shifts to work. There was one particular guy we thought we could count on, but no. It was a TIRING night for me and my colleague, and you know what? We deserved it. Turns out, the said caterer chose to not help us, because we were too hard on him for some mistakes he made. And I'd say he was right.
As soon as I stopped caring about "making it" in music, I started making really good fucking music.
I stopped subconsciously (and consciously) making decisions that I thought would please a wide audience. I stopped using theory and formulas and doing things that were popular.
I just went all in on the things I like to hear and the way I want it to be. I went from making stuff that was ok to absolutely mind blowing (in my opinion).
I still don't care about making it and I don't even release my music. It's not about making money and banging super models anymore.
I didn't give up. I woke up.
Jon is the only thing worth listening to on the Ramsey network
Just came across your show and I really needed this episode. Thank you.
He is not even close to be ready to get married; he is a 30 year old child both mentally and emotionally.
Hey I don’t want to get married either and I got 10 years on him!!
You should be a therapist with how quickly and confidently you can make such a bold statement and assumption inside of a 15 minute call.
In struggling with this too. 42 years old and burnt out on the job. Effects my sleep at night etc...
Find a new job. Jobs take up majority of your day, why be miserable for the rest of your life?
@@NeccoWecco I got 8 years left until I can collect a pension. It would be tough giving that up
stay for that sweet pension. I'm 45 years old and never got a job with a pension.
@Bantizzle Yeah I would stay for the 8 more years as well to collect the pension because pensions are very very rare nowadays in the US
I’m with you on this. I have been massively burned out for over a year now with my job. I just put in my two weeks. Do you have the option to move to a different position within your company to keep the pension? Otherwise, take advantage of your vacation days and plan a long vacation that you can look forward too. Take time for your hobbies, relaxation and fun experiences that bring you joy. Spend time with people you love. Recharge whenever you can. Hopefully the next 8 years won’t be too bad and you can recover from the burn out. The pension will be amazing to retire with ❤️
I'm back to watching John. Glad I'm back. Didn't like the intersection s with his staff before. Didn't think they respected him but also he seems more on top of his game too.
Thank God you came back. Probably single-handedly saved this podcast and his career.
@@show_me_your_kitties agree, thx
The body keeps the score
🎶 …Twenty inch blades on the impala … 🎶 😹😹😹
Great advice!
The music industry is so much like the lottery. Maybe this show will be my big break, maybe this co-write this song etc etc. and then you’re constantly waiting for life to begin. My advice is let it go and still play music. Let it go and still write. Find paying work that makes you happy, get sleep, and then in other times make music. Reframe your worldview so that you can matter MORE than music industry “street cred.” ❤️
wait did he just drop a Pearl Jam - "Alive" pun on the fly. hahaha
Get out. Where I work they just installed metal detectors. Someone a week ago threatened to shoot where I work with a gun. There are people at my job that say they think about suicide because of their job. I’ve seen a few women yell and cry only to go back to their job and repeat the same cycle the next week.
Some jobs are NOT MEANT for some people. I currently like where I work but some people are literally in hell where I work and their only way out is finding another job. A few people where I work haven’t gotten a raise in 7 years and they still stay committed to the job. I don’t understand it.
Making in music damm hard I gave it a shot with my old band ENDO got signed got dropped I was messed up mentally for years I hate loosing but oh well.
Never heard of it
I can sympathize I am feeling suicidal I
Don’t know what to do
With myself .i feel like life is running me rather than me running my life .need A big change ahhhhhhhh
hey
oh man. I'm sorry. what are some of the big changes you've thought about making that would help??
Hope you are feelong better! One thing and one day at a time. We only get one life try to keep that in mind so you make more of an effort to avoid the toxic, the over work, the stress and the rushed lifestyle.
Where did Tesla and house come from. I don’t think he is looking for more stuff .
That’s not true, I’m excellent at sales but I HATE it
Love the Pearl Jam reference!!
Where is the full video???
Is there a full video?
I did counseling. It’s ok. Not life changing. Feels good to get stuff off your chest but I can do that for free.
If the caller is reading this, post a link to your music.
We can tell you if you should give up on your dream
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The caller is obviously mentally struggling, has a disorder and is seeking help. Yet all you can do is make a pathetic joke at the expense of someone's ailment. You are a genuine piece of trash.
💯
BRING BACK THE AVETT BROTHERS
Why do you keep commenting this? What does it have to do with this call?
Feel the same
He should watch pixar movie "soul"
Caller is not just a people-pleaser he is indecisive which is his biggest problem. He can't decide which band, can't decide to marry or break up, can't decide which/what career to build. Look, he's 30 years old, is it any wonder he is burned out when he spread out too thin, so nothing really gets accomplished. Definitely think he should have already dropped his girlfriend at least 2 years ago because her reproductive years are slipping through her fingers, no reason to be loyal to this guy when he can't even be loyal to 1 band. He probably has had multiple trysts with fans; she needs to find a guy stable in his career and is looking for wife/mother candidate, they're out there. Chances are high that even with therapy this guy will be pretty much in the same spot when he hits 40 years old, perpetual Peter Pan (and he'll be an alcoholic by then).
Damn bruh
Nice vote of confidence for this young man, douche bag
Most judgmental comment I've seen in a while.
@@lancelotle Please expound on your assessment of caller's situation or modus operandi. What would you advise caller to do?
I think you are making a LOT of assumptions here.