DISCLAIMER - This video is about MY experiences and was filmed light-heartedly ;). If you have any dating stories or dating experiences where you live, please share below. Looking forward to reading your comments! 🤎 And let’s keep the commentary POSITIVE ☺️
maybe this could help to enrich your point of view: Germans are very direct and ask everything could cross their minds because they do it without any mean intention. So I guess that many situations were not "because you're black" but because they see no issue in that. I am italian, light skin and hair, and they ask everything, I mean everything from the first chat. They do it between Germans too. They are pragmatic. So of course if you are darker they point at that too. Maybe not easy to swallow from our pov, but they are naive so they have no idea about every shade of politeness around the world 🌼
You are a grown adult, so you should be able to open a door yourself. I Think thats the mindsetting. I don't know there is no gentlemen culture in germany haha burn me 😀
@@hazar2354 What du you expect? After 50 years of getting told "You are no good" by feminists a lot of men have become insecure. Now they are too shy to approach women - and they do nothing to make it easier for the men, unfortunately.
Been married to a German 5years now and I can say I have experienced all that with him but compared to when we started dating he has changed alot,he now opens doors and waits for me when we eating, he compliments me more and I can say that he has changed even towards his mom (she noticed and told me)and all the women around us.I believe dating needs patience and saying as it is,if you like or not like something tell your partners and it works.
I couldn’t agree with this post more! It’s the same within my own relationship. He’s very different from when we first met to now. Like you said, we needed time and patience for the pieces to fall into place
I received many of the “I’ve never been with a black girl and your pretty for a black girl” annd the weird questions and fascinations with my skin a lot here in America. I think it’s just a thing some black women go through period…. Sadly I also think men are starting to lack more manners these days in general. Some men just suck lol
"Sadly I also think men are starting to lack more manners these days in general. Some men just suck lol" Same can be said about females... Manners is subjective...
I know a lot of girls and some guys say that to me too but I don’t take it to personally and they actually turn out to be some of the closest relationships I’ve had.
I deleted Tinder because it started to affect my self-esteem. I’m a black girl from the Netherlands and just like you, most men I crossed (digital) paths with were white or non-black. I got a fraction of the matches that my friends got and got unmatched a few times. It started to make me feel bad and anxious and I deleted it and never looked back.
Hi Robyn! I understand you completely. I am also a black girl in the Netherlands. The best thing I’ve learned so far is to start focusing on yourself and afterwards go places (date alone), mingle in new social places/groups.
@@simskiara @Robyn Retro - I am a white man from Germany and have not found any hits on dating sites either. I think it's because the photos are primarily selected here and people who are generally rated as attractive have better chances. I think snapshots from the family album are not as suitable here as professional photos from a photo studio or from a good amateur photographer. Men don't think details are as important as women think. The complexion, nose, hair color or eyebrows are not that important for men. The overall impression counts. Don't get so fixated on the color of your skin. So be confident. Smile often. Be a little seductive and sexy with make-up and clothes with high heels, but subtile. Seek advice from a girlfriend who you think is more attractive than yourself. Men like to explain the world to women. So ask questions, even if you know the answer, and let the world be explained to you. Men like to help women, so ask if someone can help you to fix your two-wheeler even if you could do it yourself.
Try to trust God for the man you were created for. Pray to God for directions and that He should put you in a place where you shall meet him and that you shall gain favour in the man's sight and he shall love you. I prefer this process instead of dating different guys or hoping guys online get interested in me. I had to stop using online dating and meeting app because I was somehow loosing my self esteem.
@@na8751 - That’s strange, I’ve heard white/ethnic Dutch men are very interested in and open to black women (more than white German men, from what I’ve heard). I also thought that there were a lot of mixed half black half white people in the Netherlands, and a lot of mixed couples between white and black people.
You’d be pretty in Japan, Argentina or Russia Zoe, pretty is pretty. I did smile at you talking about lack of manners though 😅 I know exactly what you mean and I’m a white English guy. Germany is by far my favourite country in the world and I love the people but it took me some time to get used to their directness and abruptness. Good video 👍
I'm a 50 yr old German female - It seems to be the younger generation - with 'letting the door slam into their dates face' or walking ahead of them rather than with them. I don't like that at all. My boyfriend still opens and shuts the car door/passenger side for me before he gets into the car himself. I just adore that so much 🥰
I really enjoyed this video. I thought it might have been me being Jamaican why manners are super important to me. I’m happy I’m not alone. I also like when people say excuse me when the burp or fart. I will probably never speak to a guy again after a first date if he doesn’t excuse himself.
One of the things that I loaned(you are quite pretty for a black person) you posted. I came to the United States from Ethiopia when I was 14 1/2 15. I attended high school./semi high school and then went to two year college. And I was constantly told. They thought it was a compliment that I was pretty for a black girl. Once I understood it was offensive not a compliment I start telling them off. I would say to them it is like saying to someone you have a pretty face fat woman or fat man. By the time I moved on to 4y college. People were more mindful not as rude . Now I am working a very diverse hospital I don’t think people would dare to say offensive stuff like that.
Yes, I personally find that statement quite offensive and if someone says that to me that's my cue to exit. I'm glad you stood up for yourself and are now working in a more diverse job ☺️
In Spain, it’s pretty much the same. You can never be a local if you are black and i grew up here! The “where are you from” question doesn’t bother me. It’s the questions related to my colour or telling me they have been to Africa as if that’s gonna soften my heart or so. I do school them about their ignorance and block them. Because there are lots of weirdos out there and online dating becomes boring to me just because of it. Ooh and the black guys I see, i can feel most are looking for a Karen though i have met some bur rare. Love your videos though. Keep on 🍸
@@Hanna-ls2sv madame we live in those countries! We are not touring it for fun. Will burkina faso or Nigeria give you stability? Did you watch the video?
I am a black woman from Brazil and something awful happened to me and I am having a hard time getting over it. I was dating a german guy and we had such a wonderful connection, I was so happy... He even said that he thought he loved me. Then we went out in town to get sushi and I noticed sometimes that he looked a bit uncomfortable. I thought that could be due to his shyness (he is also very introverted). The next day I still had the feeling that something was off and decided to ask him if there was something concerning him . Then he said it. He couldn't handle the fact that I don't blend in. People stare at me iall the time. i am already used to it, to be honest. He said that unfortunately he still cares too much about what people think. He couldn't deal with it. We broke up. I feel so devastated and i dont know what to do. Sometimes I want to runaway from this miserable country, other times I want to confront every idiot that looks at me weird. I hate the world. I think about going back to Brazil sometimes but there we have a bunch of racism too and in many aspects even worse.. I feel that there is no place for me in the world. Can someone tell me what to do?
Mana, isso foi livramento!! Tranquilize o seu coração. Um cara que deixa a opinião de pessoas que ele nem conhece ditar o que ele deve ou não fazer, não é um cara que merece estar num relacionamento com você. Uma pessoa dessa ia te abandonar em outros momentos, de outras formas. E ele, com certeza, vai ter uma vida miserável desse jeito. Saiba que você merece mais, e o seu valor é grandioso!! Fique em paz e agradeça o universo pelo livramento. O que é verdadeiramente seu, irá chegar ❤
@@lisianes.3142 Muito obrigada por suas palavras! Você está coberta de razão. Esse é de fato o motivo mais estúpido que eu já vi para um término. O pior é que ele me ligava chorando pra dizer que eu era maravilhosa e pedir desculpas. Eu não entendia isso. Até música pra mim fez. O que que esse maluco quer, não sei. Acho que ele se sentiu muito culpado e não queria sair como má pessoa na história. Bloqueei o contato dele de todas as formas possíveis. Sei que é o certo e deus sabe o que faz. Agora estou tentando esquecer essa criatura e seguir em frente.
I get the "I love Brazilian women 😏" a lot. And I always ask the same thing "What do you mean? There are 100 million Brazilian women, so I really don't know what you mean by that." Of course I know exactly what they are trying to say, I know all the stereotypes. But I have learned that when you make the other person explain their racists or sexists "jokes", it's a great way to embarrass them.
@Mari Mendes As a man, I can tell you that the phrase _"I love Brazilian women"_ , connotates a certain _universally appreciated_ high level of beauty and sensuality. Same goes with the phrase _"I love Swedish women"_ . "Brazilian women" and "Swedish women" represents a kind of _gold standard_ of physical attractiveness. _An Ideal_ . There is a "halo effect" for all young Brazilian and Swedish women, but as you get older, you'll begin to _level out_ with the rest of the women of the world. You will elicit fewer and fewer "I love Brazilian or Swedish women" comments from men.
I think more often than not this sort of comment is not about race but about culture. German culture is very much about brutal honesty bordering on arrogance and rudeness, and many German men are put off by the kind of women this culture commonly produces - looking for something a bit more feminine, with a bit more emotional warmth, and date non-German, with some stereotypes guiding them where the success rate of what they are looking for might be higher.
@@stephencarter2664 @Mari Mendes I agree with Stephen, men who say "I love brazilian women" probably often think of a well-shaped ass and a limitless libido. You should find this out quickly to cut it off, so it's good to interrogate further like you do. But I doubt it is always meaningful - maybe it is just a random compliment, like, l like women with curls/feminine dresses/short/tall women/whatever, typical compliments on a date.
@@stephencarter2664 meanwhile men like you will never know that feeling of adoration talking nonsense from your mum's basement lol. How does it feel to only get attention when you say inflammatory things??? Do you finally feel loved lol. Most men have and will always be ignored, go make peace with that instead of projecting.
Good manners actually used to be a thing in Western-Europe generally. Sometimes however I get the impression that I'm part of the last generation who valued that, at age 51 :D And having had a Polish grandmother making sure any lady is treated with the utmost respect and courtesy.
Im 45 - and practicing these manners in my youth made me a "colorful dog" (word by word translation of an idiom for"an eccentric") I have also this thing that I generally walk on the left of o woman, or the side where traffic is, because.. this is the way. It started back in the 90s with ideas about "holding the door open is sexism"- thing..
The way, you were getting doors slammed in your face makes me really sad. I'm an old German guy who could be your father and I find it so terrible that manners are getting lost in the younger generations in my homeland. I kind of want to apologize for them but at the same time I know it's also a good thing when they behave like that from the start. Because this way you will always know instantly: that's not the right guy for you. Good German parents are still teaching manners to their children. Maybe try it without dating apps and in real life. I know, it means much more effort, but I personally have had my best experiences that way.
@@jeromegilly Of course it must be true! This is why German guys never have sexual experiences, never have girlfriends, never get married and never have children. 😎 But seriously: if a guy does not show any interest - he is just not that interested. It's that easy. Girls just don't seem to get it.
LOL I just wrote basically a very similar comment. I'm not German myself, but German women taught me that they can open doors themselves (not that I ever had doubt about it). :-)
I'm a woman and I would never be rude like that when men open the door for me.. sometimes I will hold the door open for men/the group I'm in too. It's a courtesy and should be appreciated, not complained about. Then again, I don't *expect* men or women to do that for me, but i will appreciate it if done.
It's good you brought it up. It had to be said, especially the last part. I'm male but having lived mainly in French speaking areas most of my life I have also noticed a widespread lack of courtesy and "life elegance" in Germany. There are exceptions but it's mostly people who have lived outside of Germany or who were involved a lot with non-Germans. Btw you are pretty, full stop.
Germans definitely have manners, but good manners aren't the same in different countries. Politeness is culturally defined, and certain things that are bad manners in one country, aren't in another and vice versa. For instance, holding doors open for women in particular might be seen as polite by some Americans, but other people may find it belittling and implying that women aren't capable. All depends on your cultural background - rude and polite are not objectively defined, but bound by social setting
I wouldn’t generalize that all Germans do or don’t do what I’ve mentioned, but what I was referring to in my video is that some of the men I dated were lacking some general (I think universal) manners. And for me it does not just relate to dating. I think holding the door open for the next person coming (not just women), or bumping into someone and saying sorry or covering ones mouth before sneezing is something I was not really seeing from the guys I was meeting up with but if those things are not really a thing because of the culture then I’ll accept that.. Besides general universal manners (I guess what I assume is universal) I agree that rude and polite are not objectively defined
@@ZoieMarie Holding the door open is pretty much belittled and abolished by the feminist movement, because it's "a signal of male dominance". So can you blame the guys to act as they were told by women?
@@ravanpee1325 Dont know where you are from but im from the south in the USA and i see it all the time. Thats just how people are raised over here. Age is more of a determining factor of what is expected rather than gender. Not holding the door for *anyone* is considered extremely rude. If i failed to hold the door for someone, especially an older person or was ignorant to their presence then some older person would probably call me out on it. No matter the gender. Maybe people aren't being held accountable in Germany 🤷🏾♀️ but I've been here a few months and no one does it...not even for older people which is shocking for me to see. And when i hold the door open for people i get weird looks
not quite sure if this is relevant here but... most of the Germans I meet have a superiority complex when I say I am from somewhere other than the US...(Kenyan American here). When I say only Kenyan I get an "I'm better than you look". When I say American almost a surprised disbelief and sheer excitement look comes out...
People in Germany are extremely direct. It is not that they don’t have manners, it is just that they are very pragmatic, also when dating. One should never take this personally, although I completely understand, because it used to surprise me as well
I don't think Germans are direct people. It depends. I have learnt Germans at work place can be hypocritical and reserve to say things as they are. Someone will say you are amazing, when it's not exactly what they think and after write a bad recommendation about you. Living among Germans for many years now I find Africans are more direct people than Germans.
Don't know much about dating here in South Africa, but my husband and me met on Facebook. Two weeks later we had our first date and a few months later we were married. Like, engaged for 3 weeks! He is very shy, I was the one who first said "I love you". Then he opened up and it was like finding the perfect pearl inside an oyster. I married the perfect gentleman, very romantic and only has eyes for me. So I actually steered the conversation while we were dating. Now that we've been married for more than 13 years, he has opened up more and more through the years and sometimes he steers the conversation.
OK, German woman here. All the German men on here blaming their lack of manners on "feminism"? That would be hilarious if it wasn't so sad! So, feminism or not, it is RUDE to let a door fall into the person behind you's face, doesn't matter if you are a man doing to a woman, or a man doing it to a man, or a woman doing it to either man or woman. Yes, women are not weak creatures who need doors opened for them, but walking ahead and then having the nerve to shut the door in someone's face is rude. Period. So if you walk ahead, male of female, and open the door first, either hold the door open and let the other person walk through, or walk through, but make sure the other person is able to walk through, too! As for men paying on the first date? Nope, I don't want that. Especially not if it is a fancy meal, but that is usually why I only meet for a coffee/tea, that is cheap, and if you are incompatible, you don't have to sit through an excrutiatingly long meal! If the guy *really* insists on paying, well, € 2.50 for my tea will not make him that much poorer. One guy once said he wanted to take me out for dinner (his idea) and I really wanted to go out with him, too, but he was always broke. We were working at the same place, but I had a slightly better paying job, and I even told him I would obviously pay my share, or we could just take a picknick somewhere, but he had this grand dinner idea, so... we never went on that date! What a wasted opportunity! Just because of some idiotic, outdated The Man Has To Pay notions.
@@awandethino3271 Reading comprehension fail on your part? No idea how you got any of that from what I wrote, especially where I expect men to be traditional/chivalriistic. I can expect *anyone* regardless of gender, to be well-behaved, that is what I said.
I dated a Germany man before but we met in China, he opened my doors and paid my bills and he was so scaring always holding my hand when we were walking, maybe he was just kinda different
ALL TRUE SIS. Living here in Germany, I can tell there are no manners, no chivalry, no free kindness (not general, to anyone, when you win nothing from someone).
50 years of aggressive women empowerment does this to you. Since I was little in Austria all i heard was, treat woman equally, never doubt their abilities, dont share a bank account because woman have to have their own money, don't bring up that they are woman because woman think they are put down, don't hold the door open for them because they think you think they are weak, don't pay their bill on a first date, 50/50 equality means 50/50 equality - no special treatment because of gender is what I learned from my mom, from other family members, school, movies, tv, books, etc.
@@herpaderppa3297 so sad to hear this. I’m an Engineer by profession and very much independent however when it comes to dating I long for those subtle gestures by men that you were unfortunately taught they are belittling to a woman. To an extent, I feel like 50/50 takes away the femininity out of a woman and masculinity out of a man, so sad 😞.
Really an interesting topic you talked about. Two things that I picked from this video are the issue or emphasis on one's skin color as a black and the issue of manners. I as a person, will start feeling uncomfortable when someone (whether I intend to date the person or not) am with keeps talking about my skin color. When the conversation goes beyond asking about where am from or talking about my culture back in my home country in positive ways, then I get the feeling the person is not someone who truly wants to know me for who I am as a person, regardless of my skin color or nationality. As for mannerism, I also look out for similar behaviors in people. A courtesy of holding the door for someone coming behind you or saying sorry when you mistakenly step in someone's path etc, shows how much you value people and want to treat them with respect and dignity as they deserve to be treated. Sadly, not everyone understands this or see it this way. Overall, the upbringing we have as individuals is part of what shape's and mold us into who and what we later become in life.
Agreed. Upbringing plays a big part in it and I guess in regards to Germany, their upbringing is simply different which is why some of those manners aspects that I’m used to don’t happen that often here (IMO)
I am German so to the “sugary” thing. Yes maybe it’s because they see woman and men completely equal at that point? There are lots of men who doesn’t even want to pay for first date. To the black skin thing, Germany is not like US where it’s 50 w/ 50b. Especially in rural areas it can really be that maybe they never saw a black person before. They don’t mean it badly but I think they admire your skin. Many Germans like black skin and find it beautiful, lots of want to be tanned at least. I think it’s good they are so direct and clear and ask you everything right away. So there is no fakeness or I guess less fakeness than in US. I live in Spain now and people constantly ask me where I am from I don’t feel bad about it. Also when I was in Asia people asked lots of questions about my heritage me and where amazed it’s because they didn’t see my skin type often.
Regarding the manners topic: It used to be like that in Germany a while back too. But a certain kind of feminism or maybe even only "modernism" educated German women in the past 3 decades or so to negatively comment on such things: "I can open the door myself" and such, so that men got re-educated too. This is kind of the result of wanting to be "equal". The amount of times I got negative comments by women for having manners the way you describe I can't even count. Fortunately I have a German wife for nearly 30 years already who appreciates "old-school" manners. But she admitted she was in that trap of - wrongly understood, as she says - feminism/modernism when she was younger too. Another view point is that they really might feel patronized (which surely happened in the past too) and after all, times are constantly changing. So maybe after a certain "liberation period" (going from one extreme to another), we might get back to a middle ground: friendly manners without patronizing or being patronized, in both directions.
if a woman is telling you that they can open the door themselves, they don't want you in particular to hold the door open for them. if you are perceived as even just a little bit creepy, they will aggressively tell you they can open the door yourselves, simply because they want to keep the interaction with you to a minimal.
What I want to say is that, in Europe we are not so mixed as in the US which is for me a country of foreigners. So we are not so “mixed”. So please don’t be upset when people ask you where you are from and of their curiosity. I face the same problems being a European and white. I just need to go to Italy Portugal or Spain. And questions, curiosity for me will be the same. But it never bothered me because I understand we are in the process of “ mixing”. There are even jobs I can not take because I don’t speak “Catalàn” required sometimes in job description, which is a minority and not official language here in Spain although the official language of Spain is “castellano” which I do speak. So it’s not about being “black” or “white” I think it’s a typical US thinking and it’s a bit different here.
I've known at least two families of mixed, (German- African American) heritage as a child. David and Michael had a German mother, so did Kemyta. Another friend was a tennis player who was involved for many years with a German woman but they never married. Just saying that it's worth getting to know another culture and if love springs between you and your handsome partner, any children from such a union would have the best of both cultures. 💖
Someone told me in Germany if your going to a Restaurant with your date or a partner, the guy has to always go in the restaurant first so that he can find a table for his lady or a date i believe its a more cultural thing .
@@ZoieMarie i guess its an old generation thing , they guy who told me this was in his late 60´s and was my classmates´ dad . Now i know its not a cultural thing .
It was actually a rule from the very popular "Knigge" handbook of good manners some while ago. The idea behind it is to protect the woman from stares. Apparently it needs explanation for foreigners.
@@dekai7992 This is how it works, though. Gentlemen are to enter potentially dangerous places , like pubs or restaurants first, in order to be able to shield off their ladies from atrocities. On the way out it is the lady who leaves first. The same applies for coats: when entering a place, the gentleman helps the lady first with her coat, taking his coat off afterwards. When leaving, it is the gentleman, who puts on his coat first and helps the lady with her coat afterwards. The reason is, the lady should be the one with the most comfort, being able to get rid off her too-warm coat first and not having to wait in her coat for the gentleman. Further: introductions. Rule: man/younger person/lesser person (rank) says his/her name, only then the woman/the elder person/higher-ranked person gives his/her hand and says his/her name. Instead, because people do not know these simple rules, people often start to say their names at the same time or putting out their hands at the same time, or even men/younger people/lower-rank people putting aut their hands to women/older people/higher-ranked people. It is really bad taste and produces confusion, where people cannot understand each other´s names. But only a very few people know these rules.
@@markaguilera493 Hi, you can find the definition on the internet: verb past tense: fetishized; past participle: fetishized make (something) the object of a sexual fetish.
@@markaguilera493 Hello again, if you do not understand why it is wrong to fetishize a person because of their ethnicity, then there is nothing I can tell you.
@@indoora But you can fetishize someone for something special about their body apart from ethnicity. Is that wrong as well? Or is it only wrong if it involves ethnicity? I have a Moroccan friend absolutely mad about redheads. Is that wrong? If so why?
When I was there, I had some drunk German guys say, Ur hair is not real, can i touch it." When I told them no and they were rude, they continued and offered to let me touch their first. I have a lot more of these fun stories, which is y I left after 2 yrs instead of staying the full 5 yrs. Ugh!
I am curious in which part of germany you had that experience ;) I can only shake my head about the door slamming and running away parts but people are strange sometimes ^^
In germany, the netherlands and in nordic countries, theres a strong sense of gender equalitiy. As a result, women in these countries don appreciate chivalry, because they see chivalry as making acceptions for women on the basis of their gender. And with regards to doors : in the netherlands, whoever is walking in front of a person will hold the door, regardless of gender
I honestly don't know why im attracted to white men more ,im moving to Germany i hope for the best,if it doesnt work its not a must i date a German, Germany nowdays has alot of foreigners
I don't want to disagree with you and as a white man in Germany I obviously can't have the same experiences you have but just one thought about what you said. IMO it is a huge difference if you come together with a person within your social bubble or "shopping" for a girl-/boy-friend on the web. I have a friend I went to school with and then later we worked in the same company and she is black (Black American father and white German mom). We know each other to long that she was not a black girl for me. She was just a girl coz I defined her by what she was doing, how she behaves, her humor and all these things. From time to time there obviously were people (clients) in you company who made awkward racist comments that supposed to be jokes. Every time this happened I didn't get it right away coz my friends most obvious attribute for me was not she being black. Hearing a racist comment always let me remember that, oh yes she is black... Now on tinder nobody has such an experience with you at all. When watching profiles on tinder (or wherever on the web) then your most obvious attribute for somebody who does not know you is that you are a black woman. That's exactly the first attribute that (here in Germany) makes you stand out of the masses. As you noticed there are a lot of German men who have a fetish for black women. Obviously on a dating platform you will exactly attrackt these guys. Nobody has a chance to separate you from your skincolor at this stage. I don't think this is strange behaviour it is just human behaviour.
Hi, genau den selben Gedanken hatte ich auch beim betrachten des Videos. Bei dem überwiegenden Teil sticht sie durch ihre Hautfarbe hervor. Mir persönlich ist ist das Latte, wenn sie hübsch ist und ihr Profil mir gefällt schreib ich die Person an. Bei anderen mag da evtl., wie sie es nannten, ein "Fetisch" dahinter stecken.
Two years teaching English in Korea, I also understood the "not a zoo animal" feeling, where differences of any kind stand out. Dating was.... interesting. I found that more than a few of the ways of showing interest in a potential partner were somewhat different. Not impossible, but definitely a learning experience. For those dating in another country, try doing activities you already enjoy with groups of locals. At the very least you start with something in common to talk about. A few years before living in Korea, I enjoyed living in Augsburg for three years, many years ago. Ended up being there for the city's 2000 anniversary. Just the history alone offers a very different depth of perspective. Gruss got!
i dated girls from all over the world from all sorts of nationalities, backgrounds and styles... Always judge on character and soul, never the "outer package" If some ppl weren't so pre-judgmental they would find the most beautiful souls inside (this "outer package") Never judge a book by it's cover... And don't teach kids to "choose" because by nature, from birth we do NOT exclude until told or taught. Adults from all sides teaches kids this behavior, witch is wrong on so many levels.. Better the world; Show the kids harmony in unity, witch creates a strong society in the long term. P.S. Your beautiful, happy you found a BF that enriches your/each others life.. PEACE
I want to move from US to Germany. I was living there in 1997 to 2000 as part of the military. I loved Germany and U speak a little German. I feel appreciated because I don't know anyone at the moment and I have a 4 year old little girl now. Can you do video on how move to Germany from scratch ?
The dynamic on Bumble seems to attract a certain type of man... Like sir, let's get to know eachother don't be weird about it 😭 imo Tinder felt a little more organic (a mixture of people initiating).
The manner problem is a general generation problem! Especially in larger towns in D. I was thought to behave from the first day. But as a German I’m sad that good manners seems to be outdated. Good manners doesn’t cost a Pfennig! And it’s makes yourself feeling good. As a woman (if I were one) I wouldn’t spend my time with a troglodyte.
Skincolor shouldn't be thing. If a woman is an interesting person, as you seem to be, her skin can be any color, checkered, striped or whatever and i'd still want to get to know her and talk to her. What i think i'd do on a first date with an american woman is tell her that germans are not the best small talkers in the world and that if i come across too direct it's not meant to humiliate or step on her toe, it's just a cultural difference and i'd try my best. The chivalry thing is a bit hard for us german men though because it can easily happen that you hold the door for a woman and she goes: "I'm old enough to open that door myself!" or somthing like that. That is also the reason why you'll hardly find a man running around the car and opening the door for you. Emancipation taught us otherwise.
i have lived in both Germany and Spain, and am a POC,but I share most of your experiences... if you are basically non white it mostly feels like im instantly treated different to a typical German / Spanish person.. Seen as something exotic and so most first impressions are based off on the skin colour rather than personality, etc.. sometimes I guess not in a negative way but I felt like there was a change in atmosphere already... German guys for sure need to work on their humour! my friend who is black and lives in Spain is always stared at when we go out, and gets complimented / cat called , or comments like Hey Beyonce, stupid things like that...
As a white man from the Netherlands living in Germany I can give you some opinions. I read all the comments.. I think that generally most people feel initially attracted to their own race, to what they know. So please do not lose self esteem when dating in a foreign country, you cant compare. With the phrase "you look good for a black girl" they mean no harm. I find myself thinking(not saying) this exact same thing when I see a white girl who is looking good. I should add that tho I am of caucasian origin I have always had no interest in caucasian women. Anyone who is serious about dating, do not use tinder or bumble. Use the more serious and popular datingapps in Germany (for which you have to pay) and you shouldnt have to deal with weirdos so much.
Sir, "you look good for a black girl" is a backhanded compliment, so it's not flattering to any woman. Trust me. It implies that generally black girls are not good looking and so she is a unicorn, since she happens to look good. It's rude. Just tell someone she's beautiful and not "beautiful for a black girl" as if black girls cannot be pretty.
It is and I would never say it. I was saying "black" girls have always been the most beautiful to me and I can find myself thinking "you look good for a white/asian/whatever". Meaning the origin of why men say that in the first place may be because of natural selection. Perhaps those men have actually never known "black" women so well in their life so far and they find themselves interested for the first time. I can imagine many african men will also think "you look good for a white girl".
I believe that a man can pay for his girlfriend, but if she is really his. I have had many cases when I paid for a girl in a restaurant, and she did not pick up the phone the next day. If I pay for every girl on a date, I won't have any money.
Good talk Zoie👍🏾 I also getting that never date a Black girl talk also but I normal ask if they ever Dated a back girl before. I went an a Date with a guy and he never paid the bill and I was like whaaaat!! My problem here is because I workout alot of guys seem to always see my body and not me😬
Maybe there is the man you are looking for not in any gym. The men there are actually often very superficially body-oriented. Maybe only men like that ask you out on a date. Nice men often don't dare to ask a beautiful woman out on a date. So start the conversation by yourself and get them to ask you out, ;-) .
Dear Z-M, I fully understand your position and personally agree. However please mind that some of the circumstances you mentioned in which German men behaved non-chivalrous might also be due to the fact that very many modern German women find such chivalry outdated , some even offensive
We are taught at a young age to exercise manners. My parents are originally from the south ( Alabama) and bad manners are a big no no. I dated a german man and we, rather I, emphasized yes it is good to be direct but you must be tactful, respectful and show good manners. The moment I hear " I've never dated a black girl before, " the date gets deleted. Oh, another irritant: where are you REALLY from? As though only white people are Americans. My response is well, my ancestors were sent to a America 🇺🇸 400 years ago, so I'm clueless what African country I'm really from. I remind them the 🇺🇸 is a nation of immigrants 😊
"The date get's deleted" 😂 Yes! I 100% agree. Manners to me are too important as well that they never say weird comments to me about dating a black woman... The date and conversation after that is over
You're not from an African country, you're from the United States of America, they should take it and deal with it. A lot of foreign people think Americans are only white so I teach them and tell them the truth that they have been denied.🙂
1 Europeans are always laughing at Americans for our geographic ignorance but Europeans are woefully ignorant of USA history. That “no where are you really from” gets a brief USA history lesson. Being black American ADOS means my ancestors have been in the USA for over 400 years. When you add in my native ancestry ( dad is ¾ native) it means my USA roots predate most white Americans! 2 I have to remind Euro men of the obvious! I am NOT one of your country women and am not privy to the same benefits and privileges nor beliefs and culture of your women. I expect you to pay for dates and have manners. After all you want the perks of dating a foreign woman but want to punish me for the idiosyncrasies of your own women. Not having it. Why I seek out well traveled, culturally adept euro males only.
I am asked often here in Frankonia "where are you from", for I am born in Cologne. I am a white German, but my language is a little bit different than it is spoken here. But this does not bother me. In Germany, a darker woman is special, they are not so frequent here as in the USA or in Brasil. We are not used to them, although there are of course black people who are German and were born and raised here.
Old German man here. I remember some German women on insisting to split the bill. But then, we often were simply meeting rather than dating. All the partners I later met, things worked differently. First we met often inside our group, then started making out and decided to become a couple. After that I usually paid because I earned more. But that was decades ago.
First of all, "black is beautiful". Lots of Germans pay a lot of money every week for the tanning salon to look something like African Americans. The sign that you have been on vacation is the tan afterwards. The darker the better. It is true that when it comes to dating in Germany, it is customary for everyone to pay for themselves. As a man, I like the customs of the old school and would like to hold the door for my lady and invite her to dinner. Many German women see this as a disregard for their emancipation. There was an argument more than once because my lady refused to be invited. When I wanted to carry the heavy shopping bag for a female fellow student, I was glad that she didn't push me down the stairs in anger. German women carry their shopping bags themselves...
I’ve heard this stereotype about German women, I’m not sure how true it is but I assume some women are exactly as you explained and they have their right to be! I guess it just confirms there are different types of women who like different types of things ✨
@@ZoieMarie This of course also applies to the boys. And that's why the royal children don't come together, (that's a quote from a Greek folk song, "... because the water was much too deep.") I actually experienced it that way and once saw it from my perspective of the boy who wants to court his date in a kind and charming way and feels instantly rejected. Rituals havean important function when it comes to dating because rituals make it easier for men and women to get to know each other. Even indigenous people, far fromevery civilization have rituals when it comes to dating. If the lady forbids the gentle-man to be gentle, only "man" remains.
@@ZoieMarie So if the women is offended, it's okay. When the guy reacts in the way to never do it again, it's poor manners. Lady, please make your choice and stick to the consequences...
Oh, Zoie you are spot on with the mannerisms or lack of with Germans . I have been here for over 20+ years and I still cannot get used to how they will knock you over and never apologize, because everyone else is either at fault or they just don’t have any home training. It drives me crazy and I will never get used to it or accept. Liebe Grüße aus Berlin I am big fan of yours.
My experience, We converse for hours in German, the moment i say I'm a foreigner, "should we speak in English?" 🤣 I'm fluent in both languages btw... OR Have you ever had s*x with a white man? I'm just nosy and wanna know what I'm working with 🤦🏾♀️
Same(ish!) stuff has happened to me…as a “white “ presenting mixed-race Latina/Asian/European American etc(I’m quite a mix!) I got A LOT of STAAAAAARES in countries like Pakistan, China, and Panama etc. A LOT. Right Up In Yo’ Face staring too. Especially in Karachi Pakistan…unnerving. I sympathize.
To understand the behavior of german men you first have to understand german women. When I was in school the girls didn't want to be seen as princesses and they often said "I can open the door myself!" or "Stop favoring me! I don't need your help!". Of course german men are not assholes in general but they were taught that women are equal BY women and they respect that. I'm basically nice to everyone and I don't like the word "chivalry" because it implies, that you should only be nice to women. You should ask yourself if it's a huge hassle to open a door on your own if the person in front of you would have to wait for you to approach. I do it anyway but I'd hate it if it was expected of me if you know what I mean... The story with the little kid sounds so american it hurts!
I'm sorry, I'm half German on my Mom's side. I just laughed out loud when you mentioned: No Filter. I always thought I got that from my Dad😂 Turns out it's from my Mom, well, more like my Aunt who also has no filter. But thank God my parents taught me manners cause my Aunt can be really blunt, where I am just walking talking positivity 😂 My daughter asked me how did I roast the guy who worked with stock keeping at the grocery store like that? There was no pasta boxes in store where you just add minced meat and milk and cook it and you have dinner. I had no idea! I told her well they're supposed to have it in stock and now there's just: so sorry we don't have it in stock. No explanations. The customer is always right. What she called "roasted" was just me being straight forward asking for help. I wasn't mean at all, my daughter is just extremely introvert and gentle, and I'm also gentle but extremely extrovert.
On thing many people don't know is that you do not always let the woman enter first. of course that would be polite but it depends on the place you are entering. if it's a potentionally "hostile" or "dangerous" environment like an unknown bar you are getting into it's a gentlemans duty to enter first so he gets the chair slammed into his face instead of her :-D this totally chances if you enter a known or knowingly safe place like let's say a fine restaurant where the chance of flying stuff is rather low. then of course you let the woman enter first.
Hello there! In what city\land do you live? I’m a foreigner too and met quite a lot of black people here in Germany. So people are quite used to multicultural variety. But yeah, it depends on the land. I’ve heard that in the East people are less tolerant. I’ve lived in the South and in the North. Here the atmosphere is better
Since we are westerners/Europeans we listen to what the women have to say in our countries and because of the feminist movements we have been breaking down traditional values that surround dating and the treatment of women. We used to see them as prizes and trophies to shelter and cater to but feminism has thought us that's bad. So now we treat you more as equals.
Don't know either tinder or bumble... maybe because I'm too old for that. This chivalry-thing is not a thing here in germany - right. But slamming to door to another person either. I hold the door no matter if it's a he or a she and others do that as well. It's more a minority in my opinion. But around 20 years ago I read an article of dating between american soldiers and british women in the second world war. There were... I don't know 20 (?) single steps when dating. And because the british women missinterpreted one signal which would be at the end of the line they send a signal the GIs missinterpreted as well. That's why british women thought GIs are Jerks and the GIs thought british women were sluts.
chivalry used to be a big thing like 20 years ago but the new generation sees it as cringe and "looking like youre trying to hard", so they kinda got rid of that. its really sad to see
DISCLAIMER - This video is about MY experiences and was filmed light-heartedly ;). If you have any dating stories or dating experiences where you live, please share below. Looking forward to reading your comments! 🤎 And let’s keep the commentary POSITIVE ☺️
maybe this could help to enrich your point of view: Germans are very direct and ask everything could cross their minds because they do it without any mean intention. So I guess that many situations were not "because you're black" but because they see no issue in that. I am italian, light skin and hair, and they ask everything, I mean everything from the first chat. They do it between Germans too. They are pragmatic. So of course if you are darker they point at that too. Maybe not easy to swallow from our pov, but they are naive so they have no idea about every shade of politeness around the world 🌼
You are a grown adult, so you should be able to open a door yourself. I Think thats the mindsetting. I don't know there is no gentlemen culture in germany haha burn me 😀
“Your pretty for a black girl”, should be closely followed by, “You’re handsome for a white guy.”
🤣
🤣🤣🤣
Well, he is kinda fly for a white guy 🤭
i mean yea exactly, and it would be solved, isntead of prohibbiting such speech trough goverments
Lol...I've heard you're a nice looking white man more times than I can count.lmao
Someone as pretty as ZM certainly won't lack options anywhere in the world.
Aww thank you! Although I've had my struggles 😭
German guys are strange and dont really approach women
@@hazar2354 yes that’s true and they love to stare!
@@hazar2354 What du you expect? After 50 years of getting told "You are no good" by feminists a lot of men have become insecure. Now they are too shy to approach women - and they do nothing to make it easier for the men, unfortunately.
@@hazar2354 Germany needs a new generation of men like August Landmesser.
Been married to a German 5years now and I can say I have experienced all that with him but compared to when we started dating he has changed alot,he now opens doors and waits for me when we eating, he compliments me more and I can say that he has changed even towards his mom (she noticed and told me)and all the women around us.I believe dating needs patience and saying as it is,if you like or not like something tell your partners and it works.
Yes, demand the man to respect you
I couldn’t agree with this post more! It’s the same within my own relationship. He’s very different from when we first met to now. Like you said, we needed time and patience for the pieces to fall into place
@@ms.bubs4fun506 And you can disrespect him in return, or what? what a bunch of nonsense
@@ravanpee1325 why would u assume she would disrespect the guy
@@anna-mariadavis5914 You want the guy to pay, open doors, the whole courtship and cry than for equality. Where's the equality there? :D
I received many of the “I’ve never been with a black girl and your pretty for a black girl” annd the weird questions and fascinations with my skin a lot here in America. I think it’s just a thing some black women go through period…. Sadly I also think men are starting to lack more manners these days in general. Some men just suck lol
Yes, agreed. I’ve had that statement said to me in other countries I visited before as well :/ it’s just frustrating
@@ZoieMarie very frustrating
"Sadly I also think men are starting to lack more manners these days in general. Some men just suck lol" Same can be said about females...
Manners is subjective...
I know a lot of girls and some guys say that to me too but I don’t take it to personally and they actually turn out to be some of the closest relationships I’ve had.
*Deh DEVIL mek dem Crypto-Nazi bwayyz, so dat GOD got somfing fi scorn!*
I deleted Tinder because it started to affect my self-esteem. I’m a black girl from the Netherlands and just like you, most men I crossed (digital) paths with were white or non-black. I got a fraction of the matches that my friends got and got unmatched a few times. It started to make me feel bad and anxious and I deleted it and never looked back.
Hi Robyn!
I understand you completely. I am also a black girl in the Netherlands. The best thing I’ve learned so far is to start focusing on yourself and afterwards go places (date alone), mingle in new social places/groups.
@@simskiara @Robyn Retro - I am a white man from Germany and have not found any hits on dating sites either. I think it's because the photos are primarily selected here and people who are generally rated as attractive have better chances.
I think snapshots from the family album are not as suitable here as professional photos from a photo studio or from a good amateur photographer.
Men don't think details are as important as women think. The complexion, nose, hair color or eyebrows are not that important for men. The overall impression counts. Don't get so fixated on the color of your skin.
So be confident. Smile often. Be a little seductive and sexy with make-up and clothes with high heels, but subtile. Seek advice from a girlfriend who you think is more attractive than yourself.
Men like to explain the world to women. So ask questions, even if you know the answer, and let the world be explained to you. Men like to help women, so ask if someone can help you to fix your two-wheeler even if you could do it yourself.
Try to trust God for the man you were created for. Pray to God for directions and that He should put you in a place where you shall meet him and that you shall gain favour in the man's sight and he shall love you. I prefer this process instead of dating different guys or hoping guys online get interested in me. I had to stop using online dating and meeting app because I was somehow loosing my self esteem.
@@na8751 -
That’s strange, I’ve heard white/ethnic Dutch men are very interested in and open to black women (more than white German men, from what I’ve heard). I also thought that there were a lot of mixed half black half white people in the Netherlands, and a lot of mixed couples between white and black people.
yes! Ik begrijp honderd procent wat je zegt!
Verwijderen en never looo back 🙌🏾
You’d be pretty in Japan, Argentina or Russia Zoe, pretty is pretty. I did smile at you talking about lack of manners though 😅 I know exactly what you mean and I’m a white English guy. Germany is by far my favourite country in the world and I love the people but it took me some time to get used to their directness and abruptness. Good video 👍
I'm a 50 yr old German female - It seems to be the younger generation - with 'letting the door slam into their dates face' or walking ahead of them rather than with them. I don't like that at all. My boyfriend still opens and shuts the car door/passenger side for me before he gets into the car himself. I just adore that so much 🥰
What you are experiencing is called negativity bias i think
I really enjoyed this video. I thought it might have been me being Jamaican why manners are super important to me. I’m happy I’m not alone. I also like when people say excuse me when the burp or fart. I will probably never speak to a guy again after a first date if he doesn’t excuse himself.
Same! I really value manners and if it's lacking in a relationship, that relationship could not work for me
One of the things that I loaned(you are quite pretty for a black person) you posted. I came to the United States from Ethiopia when I was 14 1/2 15. I attended high school./semi high school and then went to two year college. And I was constantly told. They thought it was a compliment that I was pretty for a black girl. Once I understood it was offensive not a compliment I start telling them off. I would say to them it is like saying to someone you have a pretty face fat woman or fat man. By the time I moved on to 4y college. People were more mindful not as rude . Now I am working a very diverse hospital I don’t think people would dare to say offensive stuff like that.
Yes, I personally find that statement quite offensive and if someone says that to me that's my cue to exit. I'm glad you stood up for yourself and are now working in a more diverse job ☺️
In Spain, it’s pretty much the same. You can never be a local if you are black and i grew up here! The “where are you from” question doesn’t bother me. It’s the questions related to my colour or telling me they have been to Africa as if that’s gonna soften my heart or so. I do school them about their ignorance and block them. Because there are lots of weirdos out there and online dating becomes boring to me just because of it. Ooh and the black guys I see, i can feel most are looking for a Karen though i have met some bur rare.
Love your videos though. Keep on 🍸
What is Karen?
@@vevecarj If you have to ask your're more than likely one.
@@christinekelly7769 they probably aren’t from an English speaking country
Well, I mean... I get what you mean, but she literally isn't a local, so I feel like the question is totally valid.
@@Hanna-ls2sv madame we live in those countries! We are not touring it for fun. Will burkina faso or Nigeria give you stability? Did you watch the video?
I am a black woman from Brazil and something awful happened to me and I am having a hard time getting over it.
I was dating a german guy and we had such a wonderful connection, I was so happy...
He even said that he thought he loved me.
Then we went out in town to get sushi and I noticed sometimes that he looked a bit uncomfortable. I thought that could be due to his shyness (he is also very introverted).
The next day I still had the feeling that something was off and decided to ask him if there was something concerning him .
Then he said it. He couldn't handle the fact that I don't blend in. People stare at me iall the time. i am already used to it, to be honest. He said that unfortunately he still cares too much about what people think. He couldn't deal with it.
We broke up. I feel so devastated and i dont know what to do.
Sometimes I want to runaway from this miserable country, other times I want to confront every idiot that looks at me weird. I hate the world.
I think about going back to Brazil sometimes but there we have a bunch of racism too and in many aspects even worse.. I feel that there is no place for me in the world.
Can someone tell me what to do?
Mana, isso foi livramento!! Tranquilize o seu coração. Um cara que deixa a opinião de pessoas que ele nem conhece ditar o que ele deve ou não fazer, não é um cara que merece estar num relacionamento com você. Uma pessoa dessa ia te abandonar em outros momentos, de outras formas. E ele, com certeza, vai ter uma vida miserável desse jeito. Saiba que você merece mais, e o seu valor é grandioso!! Fique em paz e agradeça o universo pelo livramento. O que é verdadeiramente seu, irá chegar ❤
@@lisianes.3142 Muito obrigada por suas palavras!
Você está coberta de razão. Esse é de fato o motivo mais estúpido que eu já vi para um término.
O pior é que ele me ligava chorando pra dizer que eu era maravilhosa e pedir desculpas. Eu não entendia isso. Até música pra mim fez. O que que esse maluco quer, não sei. Acho que ele se sentiu muito culpado e não queria sair como má pessoa na história. Bloqueei o contato dele de todas as formas possíveis. Sei que é o certo e deus sabe o que faz. Agora estou tentando esquecer essa criatura e seguir em frente.
You dodged a bullet. You will find a man who doesn’t care about what others think, and one who protects you from others.
Come to Ghana and you will blend in perfectly
@@norabonti1925 Yeah I mean why not consider going to a place where you blend in....at least try it.
I get the "I love Brazilian women 😏" a lot. And I always ask the same thing "What do you mean? There are 100 million Brazilian women, so I really don't know what you mean by that."
Of course I know exactly what they are trying to say, I know all the stereotypes. But I have learned that when you make the other person explain their racists or sexists "jokes", it's a great way to embarrass them.
That is indeed a very good way about making people explain their comments! Thanks for sharing!
@Mari Mendes As a man, I can tell you that the phrase _"I love Brazilian women"_ , connotates a certain _universally appreciated_ high level of beauty and sensuality.
Same goes with the phrase _"I love Swedish women"_ . "Brazilian women" and "Swedish women" represents a kind of _gold standard_ of physical attractiveness.
_An Ideal_ .
There is a "halo effect" for all young Brazilian and Swedish women, but as you get older, you'll begin to _level out_ with the rest of the women of the world. You will elicit fewer and fewer "I love Brazilian or Swedish women" comments from men.
I think more often than not this sort of comment is not about race but about culture. German culture is very much about brutal honesty bordering on arrogance and rudeness, and many German men are put off by the kind of women this culture commonly produces - looking for something a bit more feminine, with a bit more emotional warmth, and date non-German, with some stereotypes guiding them where the success rate of what they are looking for might be higher.
@@stephencarter2664 @Mari Mendes I agree with Stephen, men who say "I love brazilian women" probably often think of a well-shaped ass and a limitless libido. You should find this out quickly to cut it off, so it's good to interrogate further like you do.
But I doubt it is always meaningful - maybe it is just a random compliment, like, l like women with curls/feminine dresses/short/tall women/whatever, typical compliments on a date.
@@stephencarter2664 meanwhile men like you will never know that feeling of adoration talking nonsense from your mum's basement lol. How does it feel to only get attention when you say inflammatory things??? Do you finally feel loved lol. Most men have and will always be ignored, go make peace with that instead of projecting.
Good manners actually used to be a thing in Western-Europe generally. Sometimes however I get the impression that I'm part of the last generation who valued that, at age 51 :D
And having had a Polish grandmother making sure any lady is treated with the utmost respect and courtesy.
Youre 50 and use the ":D" smiley, love it.
Im 45 - and practicing these manners in my youth made me a "colorful dog" (word by word translation of an idiom for"an eccentric")
I have also this thing that I generally walk on the left of o woman, or the side where traffic is, because.. this is the way.
It started back in the 90s with ideas about "holding the door open is sexism"- thing..
The way, you were getting doors slammed in your face makes me really sad. I'm an old German guy who could be your father and I find it so terrible that manners are getting lost in the younger generations in my homeland. I kind of want to apologize for them but at the same time I know it's also a good thing when they behave like that from the start. Because this way you will always know instantly: that's not the right guy for you.
Good German parents are still teaching manners to their children. Maybe try it without dating apps and in real life. I know, it means much more effort, but I personally have had my best experiences that way.
@@jeromegilly Of course it must be true! This is why German guys never have sexual experiences, never have girlfriends, never get married and never have children. 😎
But seriously: if a guy does not show any interest - he is just not that interested. It's that easy. Girls just don't seem to get it.
But where can I date German men in nyc??
@@megamiintent6183 Just wait until I come to NYC in November 😎
I am German and in school etc I had German women tell me “I can open the door myself”! So there we go!
LOL I just wrote basically a very similar comment. I'm not German myself, but German women taught me that they can open doors themselves (not that I ever had doubt about it). :-)
Ja. Feminism suxx.
I'm a woman and I would never be rude like that when men open the door for me.. sometimes I will hold the door open for men/the group I'm in too. It's a courtesy and should be appreciated, not complained about. Then again, I don't *expect* men or women to do that for me, but i will appreciate it if done.
It's good you brought it up. It had to be said, especially the last part.
I'm male but having lived mainly in French speaking areas most of my life I have also noticed a widespread lack of courtesy and "life elegance" in Germany.
There are exceptions but it's mostly people who have lived outside of Germany or who were involved a lot with non-Germans.
Btw you are pretty, full stop.
Germans definitely have manners, but good manners aren't the same in different countries. Politeness is culturally defined, and certain things that are bad manners in one country, aren't in another and vice versa. For instance, holding doors open for women in particular might be seen as polite by some Americans, but other people may find it belittling and implying that women aren't capable. All depends on your cultural background - rude and polite are not objectively defined, but bound by social setting
I wouldn’t generalize that all Germans do or don’t do what I’ve mentioned, but what I was referring to in my video is that some of the men I dated were lacking some general (I think universal) manners. And for me it does not just relate to dating. I think holding the door open for the next person coming (not just women), or bumping into someone and saying sorry or covering ones mouth before sneezing is something I was not really seeing from the guys I was meeting up with but if those things are not really a thing because of the culture then I’ll accept that.. Besides general universal manners (I guess what I assume is universal) I agree that rude and polite are not objectively defined
@@ZoieMarie Holding the door open is pretty much belittled and abolished by the feminist movement, because it's "a signal of male dominance". So can you blame the guys to act as they were told by women?
@@ravanpee1325 she clearly said holding the door open for ANYONE. So if i hold a door open for a man...that is belittling to him??
@@keepinitkawaii It's very rarely that someone holde the door for dude except superiors in a business setting.
@@ravanpee1325 Dont know where you are from but im from the south in the USA and i see it all the time. Thats just how people are raised over here. Age is more of a determining factor of what is expected rather than gender. Not holding the door for *anyone* is considered extremely rude. If i failed to hold the door for someone, especially an older person or was ignorant to their presence then some older person would probably call me out on it. No matter the gender. Maybe people aren't being held accountable in Germany 🤷🏾♀️ but I've been here a few months and no one does it...not even for older people which is shocking for me to see. And when i hold the door open for people i get weird looks
Skin Color doesn't matter, you are a real universal beauty and your voice is extreme sympathetic!
not quite sure if this is relevant here but... most of the Germans I meet have a superiority complex when I say I am from somewhere other than the US...(Kenyan American here). When I say only Kenyan I get an "I'm better than you look". When I say American almost a surprised disbelief and sheer excitement look comes out...
Thanks for sharing your experience! Glad you found love & happiness with your boyfriend! Look forward to your vlogs!
Thank you so much!!
Black is beautiful 🖤 such a goddess
People in Germany are extremely direct. It is not that they don’t have manners, it is just that they are very pragmatic, also when dating. One should never take this personally, although I completely understand, because it used to surprise me as well
nope just pure racist
I don't think Germans are direct people. It depends. I have learnt Germans at work place can be hypocritical and reserve to say things as they are. Someone will say you are amazing, when it's not exactly what they think and after write a bad recommendation about you. Living among Germans for many years now I find Africans are more direct people than Germans.
Don't know much about dating here in South Africa, but my husband and me met on Facebook. Two weeks later we had our first date and a few months later we were married. Like, engaged for 3 weeks! He is very shy, I was the one who first said "I love you". Then he opened up and it was like finding the perfect pearl inside an oyster. I married the perfect gentleman, very romantic and only has eyes for me. So I actually steered the conversation while we were dating. Now that we've been married for more than 13 years, he has opened up more and more through the years and sometimes he steers the conversation.
OK, German woman here. All the German men on here blaming their lack of manners on "feminism"? That would be hilarious if it wasn't so sad!
So, feminism or not, it is RUDE to let a door fall into the person behind you's face, doesn't matter if you are a man doing to a woman, or a man doing it to a man, or a woman doing it to either man or woman.
Yes, women are not weak creatures who need doors opened for them, but walking ahead and then having the nerve to shut the door in someone's face is rude. Period. So if you walk ahead, male of female, and open the door first, either hold the door open and let the other person walk through, or walk through, but make sure the other person is able to walk through, too!
As for men paying on the first date? Nope, I don't want that. Especially not if it is a fancy meal, but that is usually why I only meet for a coffee/tea, that is cheap, and if you are incompatible, you don't have to sit through an excrutiatingly long meal! If the guy *really* insists on paying, well, € 2.50 for my tea will not make him that much poorer.
One guy once said he wanted to take me out for dinner (his idea) and I really wanted to go out with him, too, but he was always broke. We were working at the same place, but I had a slightly better paying job, and I even told him I would obviously pay my share, or we could just take a picknick somewhere, but he had this grand dinner idea, so... we never went on that date! What a wasted opportunity! Just because of some idiotic, outdated The Man Has To Pay notions.
@@awandethino3271 Reading comprehension fail on your part? No idea how you got any of that from what I wrote, especially where I expect men to be traditional/chivalriistic. I can expect *anyone* regardless of gender, to be well-behaved, that is what I said.
@@corvuscorone7735 my bad, you're right!
@@awandethino3271 Much appreciated :)
I lived in Germany in 2000-2005 and it was a great experience. German men seemed to love black American women. They were so polite.
thats nice to hear
You really have a pleasant and attractive voice. Very beautyful to listen.
Very kind of you to say! 🥰
I dated a Germany man before but we met in China, he opened my doors and paid my bills and he was so scaring always holding my hand when we were walking, maybe he was just kinda different
very rare
ALL TRUE SIS. Living here in Germany, I can tell there are no manners, no chivalry, no free kindness (not general, to anyone, when you win nothing from someone).
50 years of aggressive women empowerment does this to you. Since I was little in Austria all i heard was, treat woman equally, never doubt their abilities, dont share a bank account because woman have to have their own money, don't bring up that they are woman because woman think they are put down, don't hold the door open for them because they think you think they are weak, don't pay their bill on a first date, 50/50 equality means 50/50 equality - no special treatment because of gender is what I learned from my mom, from other family members, school, movies, tv, books, etc.
@@herpaderppa3297 exactly!
thank feminism for that
@@herpaderppa3297 so sad to hear this. I’m an Engineer by profession and very much independent however when it comes to dating I long for those subtle gestures by men that you were unfortunately taught they are belittling to a woman.
To an extent, I feel like 50/50 takes away the femininity out of a woman and masculinity out of a man, so sad 😞.
As my girlfriend told me at the first Date, inviting to Dinner means ending in Bed. So what i would never ever do again is ... inviting to Dinner.
Really an interesting topic you talked about. Two things that I picked from this video are the issue or emphasis on one's skin color as a black and the issue of manners.
I as a person, will start feeling uncomfortable when someone (whether I intend to date the person or not) am with keeps talking about my skin color. When the conversation goes beyond asking about where am from or talking about my culture back in my home country in positive ways, then I get the feeling the person is not someone who truly wants to know me for who I am as a person, regardless of my skin color or nationality.
As for mannerism, I also look out for similar behaviors in people. A courtesy of holding the door for someone coming behind you or saying sorry when you mistakenly step in someone's path etc, shows how much you value people and want to treat them with respect and dignity as they deserve to be treated. Sadly, not everyone understands this or see it this way.
Overall, the upbringing we have as individuals is part of what shape's and mold us into who and what we later become in life.
Agreed. Upbringing plays a big part in it and I guess in regards to Germany, their upbringing is simply different which is why some of those manners aspects that I’m used to don’t happen that often here (IMO)
@@ZoieMarie Very true.
I love your energy, and great insight!
I am German so to the “sugary” thing. Yes maybe it’s because they see woman and men completely equal at that point? There are lots of men who doesn’t even want to pay for first date. To the black skin thing, Germany is not like US where it’s 50 w/ 50b. Especially in rural areas it can really be that maybe they never saw a black person before. They don’t mean it badly but I think they admire your skin. Many Germans like black skin and find it beautiful, lots of want to be tanned at least. I think it’s good they are so direct and clear and ask you everything right away. So there is no fakeness or I guess less fakeness than in US. I live in Spain now and people constantly ask me where I am from I don’t feel bad about it. Also when I was in Asia people asked lots of questions about my heritage me and where amazed it’s because they didn’t see my skin type often.
You are beautiful because you are you. Beautiful on the outside and beautiful on the inside. You got the beauty DNA.
Regarding the manners topic: It used to be like that in Germany a while back too. But a certain kind of feminism or maybe even only "modernism" educated German women in the past 3 decades or so to negatively comment on such things: "I can open the door myself" and such, so that men got re-educated too. This is kind of the result of wanting to be "equal". The amount of times I got negative comments by women for having manners the way you describe I can't even count. Fortunately I have a German wife for nearly 30 years already who appreciates "old-school" manners. But she admitted she was in that trap of - wrongly understood, as she says - feminism/modernism when she was younger too.
Another view point is that they really might feel patronized (which surely happened in the past too) and after all, times are constantly changing. So maybe after a certain "liberation period" (going from one extreme to another), we might get back to a middle ground: friendly manners without patronizing or being patronized, in both directions.
if a woman is telling you that they can open the door themselves, they don't want you in particular to hold the door open for them. if you are perceived as even just a little bit creepy, they will aggressively tell you they can open the door yourselves, simply because they want to keep the interaction with you to a minimal.
Having lived in different countries, manners and politeness are definitely cultural. So one has to keep an open mind...
You're not pretty, you're stunningly beautiful
What I want to say is that, in Europe we are not so mixed as in the US which is for me a country of foreigners. So we are not so “mixed”. So please don’t be upset when people ask you where you are from and of their curiosity. I face the same problems being a European and white. I just need to go to Italy Portugal or Spain. And questions, curiosity for me will be the same. But it never bothered me because I understand we are in the process of “ mixing”. There are even jobs I can not take because I don’t speak “Catalàn” required sometimes in job description, which is a minority and not official language here in Spain although the official language of Spain is “castellano” which I do speak. So it’s not about being “black” or “white” I think it’s a typical US thinking and it’s a bit different here.
I've known at least two families of mixed, (German- African American) heritage as a child.
David and Michael had a German mother, so did Kemyta.
Another friend was a tennis player who was involved for many years with a German woman but they never married.
Just saying that it's worth getting to know another culture and if love springs between you and your handsome partner, any children from such a union would have the best of both cultures. 💖
Someone told me in Germany if your going to a Restaurant with your date or a partner, the guy has to always go in the restaurant first so that he can find a table for his lady or a date i believe its a more cultural thing .
Hm, I'm German and have never heard that mentioned as a real cultural thing. Some people do that, others don't, I guess.
I asked my bf and he’s also never done that but like DeKai says I guess some people do it and some people don’t
@@ZoieMarie i guess its an old generation thing , they guy who told me this was in his late 60´s and was my classmates´ dad . Now i know its not a cultural thing .
It was actually a rule from the very popular "Knigge" handbook of good manners some while ago. The idea behind it is to protect the woman from stares. Apparently it needs explanation for foreigners.
@@dekai7992 This is how it works, though. Gentlemen are to enter potentially dangerous places , like pubs or restaurants first, in order to be able to shield off their ladies from atrocities. On the way out it is the lady who leaves first.
The same applies for coats: when entering a place, the gentleman helps the lady first with her coat, taking his coat off afterwards. When leaving, it is the gentleman, who puts on his coat first and helps the lady with her coat afterwards. The reason is, the lady should be the one with the most comfort, being able to get rid off her too-warm coat first and not having to wait in her coat for the gentleman.
Further: introductions. Rule: man/younger person/lesser person (rank) says his/her name, only then the woman/the elder person/higher-ranked person gives his/her hand and says his/her name. Instead, because people do not know these simple rules, people often start to say their names at the same time or putting out their hands at the same time, or even men/younger people/lower-rank people putting aut their hands to women/older people/higher-ranked people. It is really bad taste and produces confusion, where people cannot understand each other´s names.
But only a very few people know these rules.
It's so interesting to me as a German to listen you and see what your perspective on Germany and German people is. :)
My only issue with dating inter-ethnically is being fetishized.
What does "to be fetishized" mean?
@@markaguilera493 Hi, you can find the definition on the internet:
verb
past tense: fetishized; past participle: fetishized
make (something) the object of a sexual fetish.
@@indoora Sure bit I need to hear your take of it. And why it's a bad thing.
@@markaguilera493 Hello again, if you do not understand why it is wrong to fetishize a person because of their ethnicity, then there is nothing I can tell you.
@@indoora But you can fetishize someone for something special about their body apart from ethnicity. Is that wrong as well? Or is it only wrong if it involves ethnicity? I have a Moroccan friend absolutely mad about redheads. Is that wrong? If so why?
When I was there, I had some drunk German guys say, Ur hair is not real, can i touch it." When I told them no and they were rude, they continued and offered to let me touch their first. I have a lot more of these fun stories, which is y I left after 2 yrs instead of staying the full 5 yrs. Ugh!
I am curious in which part of germany you had that experience ;) I can only shake my head about the door slamming and running away parts but people are strange sometimes ^^
I'm in the South ☺️ And yes I've met some strange characters in my time dating 😒
your hair still looks sooo gooood!
Thank you!!! ☺️
In germany, the netherlands and in nordic countries, theres a strong sense of gender equalitiy. As a result, women in these countries don appreciate chivalry, because they see chivalry as making acceptions for women on the basis of their gender. And with regards to doors : in the netherlands, whoever is walking in front of a person will hold the door, regardless of gender
Very informative and video coming soon about dating in Denmark 🇩🇰. Some similarities there too
I'm late but thanks for the insight Zoie, I'm hoping to visit Germany next summer!
You definitely should! It’s really gorg here ☺️
I honestly don't know why im attracted to white men more ,im moving to Germany i hope for the best,if it doesnt work its not a must i date a German, Germany nowdays has alot of foreigners
You look great! Glad to see that you're safe. Thanks for the insight!
Let me rephrase that. Plus WE age more gracefully. BLACK AND PROUD!! Wouldn’t want it any other way.
Idk. I've seen very few "black" equivalents of Helen Mirren out there. But I've seen plenty of Luenells and Leslie Jones.
Just saying.
@@stephencarter2664 Yep, it all depends also on how well pple take care of themselves when they are younger
@@stephencarter2664 i think you might need to get out more then🤣
I don't want to disagree with you and as a white man in Germany I obviously can't have the same experiences you have but just one thought about what you said. IMO it is a huge difference if you come together with a person within your social bubble or "shopping" for a girl-/boy-friend on the web. I have a friend I went to school with and then later we worked in the same company and she is black (Black American father and white German mom). We know each other to long that she was not a black girl for me. She was just a girl coz I defined her by what she was doing, how she behaves, her humor and all these things. From time to time there obviously were people (clients) in you company who made awkward racist comments that supposed to be jokes. Every time this happened I didn't get it right away coz my friends most obvious attribute for me was not she being black. Hearing a racist comment always let me remember that, oh yes she is black...
Now on tinder nobody has such an experience with you at all. When watching profiles on tinder (or wherever on the web) then your most obvious attribute for somebody who does not know you is that you are a black woman. That's exactly the first attribute that (here in Germany) makes you stand out of the masses. As you noticed there are a lot of German men who have a fetish for black women. Obviously on a dating platform you will exactly attrackt these guys. Nobody has a chance to separate you from your skincolor at this stage.
I don't think this is strange behaviour it is just human behaviour.
Hi, genau den selben Gedanken hatte ich auch beim betrachten des Videos. Bei dem überwiegenden Teil sticht sie durch ihre Hautfarbe hervor. Mir persönlich ist ist das Latte, wenn sie hübsch ist und ihr Profil mir gefällt schreib ich die Person an. Bei anderen mag da evtl., wie sie es nannten, ein "Fetisch" dahinter stecken.
@@saarlad849 Es soll aber nicht sein wir sind erste Menschen die hauptfarbe soll nicht zahlen !
believe me we german women miss these manners nowadays.
they have disappeared with the newer generations :(
Two years teaching English in Korea, I also understood the "not a zoo animal" feeling, where differences of any kind stand out.
Dating was.... interesting. I found that more than a few of the ways of showing interest in a potential partner were somewhat different. Not impossible, but definitely a learning experience. For those dating in another country, try doing activities you already enjoy with groups of locals. At the very least you start with something in common to talk about.
A few years before living in Korea, I enjoyed living in Augsburg for three years, many years ago. Ended up being there for the city's 2000 anniversary. Just the history alone offers a very different depth of perspective. Gruss got!
Your vlog is really insightful, thank you!
Glad you enjoyed it!
Honestly dont use social media apps to meet people for serious relationships :s its scewing with your self conception
i dated girls from all over the world from all sorts of nationalities, backgrounds and styles...
Always judge on character and soul, never the "outer package"
If some ppl weren't so pre-judgmental they would find the most beautiful souls inside (this "outer package")
Never judge a book by it's cover...
And don't teach kids to "choose" because by nature, from birth we do NOT exclude until told or taught.
Adults from all sides teaches kids this behavior, witch is wrong on so many levels..
Better the world; Show the kids harmony in unity, witch creates a strong society in the long term.
P.S. Your beautiful, happy you found a BF that enriches your/each others life..
PEACE
I want to move from US to Germany. I was living there in 1997 to 2000 as part of the military. I loved Germany and U speak a little German. I feel appreciated because I don't know anyone at the moment and I have a 4 year old little girl now. Can you do video on how move to Germany from scratch ?
Dating sucks! So glad I'm in a good relationship now.
Haha dating is a roller coaster
Beauty is beauty around the world
Great job also you are glowing in this video. Keep up the good work!
Thank you!
The dynamic on Bumble seems to attract a certain type of man... Like sir, let's get to know eachother don't be weird about it 😭 imo Tinder felt a little more organic (a mixture of people initiating).
The manner problem is a general generation problem! Especially in larger towns in D.
I was thought to behave from the first day.
But as a German I’m sad that good manners seems to be outdated.
Good manners doesn’t cost a Pfennig! And it’s makes yourself feeling good.
As a woman (if I were one) I wouldn’t spend my time with a troglodyte.
Skincolor shouldn't be thing. If a woman is an interesting person, as you seem to be, her skin can be any color, checkered, striped or whatever and i'd still want to get to know her and talk to her. What i think i'd do on a first date with an american woman is tell her that germans are not the best small talkers in the world and that if i come across too direct it's not meant to humiliate or step on her toe, it's just a cultural difference and i'd try my best.
The chivalry thing is a bit hard for us german men though because it can easily happen that you hold the door for a woman and she goes: "I'm old enough to open that door myself!" or somthing like that. That is also the reason why you'll hardly find a man running around the car and opening the door for you. Emancipation taught us otherwise.
i have lived in both Germany and Spain, and am a POC,but I share most of your experiences... if you are basically non white it mostly feels like im instantly treated different to a typical German / Spanish person.. Seen as something exotic and so most first impressions are based off on the skin colour rather than personality, etc.. sometimes I guess not in a negative way but I felt like there was a change in atmosphere already... German guys for sure need to work on their humour! my friend who is black and lives in Spain is always stared at when we go out, and gets complimented / cat called , or comments like Hey Beyonce, stupid things like that...
As a white man from the Netherlands living in Germany I can give you some opinions. I read all the comments..
I think that generally most people feel initially attracted to their own race, to what they know. So please do not lose self esteem when dating in a foreign country, you cant compare.
With the phrase "you look good for a black girl" they mean no harm. I find myself thinking(not saying) this exact same thing when I see a white girl who is looking good. I should add that tho I am of caucasian origin I have always had no interest in caucasian women.
Anyone who is serious about dating, do not use tinder or bumble. Use the more serious and popular datingapps in Germany (for which you have to pay) and you shouldnt have to deal with weirdos so much.
Sir, "you look good for a black girl" is a backhanded compliment, so it's not flattering to any woman. Trust me. It implies that generally black girls are not good looking and so she is a unicorn, since she happens to look good. It's rude. Just tell someone she's beautiful and not "beautiful for a black girl" as if black girls cannot be pretty.
It is and I would never say it. I was saying "black" girls have always been the most beautiful to me and I can find myself thinking "you look good for a white/asian/whatever". Meaning the origin of why men say that in the first place may be because of natural selection. Perhaps those men have actually never known "black" women so well in their life so far and they find themselves interested for the first time.
I can imagine many african men will also think "you look good for a white girl".
I believe that a man can pay for his girlfriend, but if she is really his. I have had many cases when I paid for a girl in a restaurant, and she did not pick up the phone the next day. If I pay for every girl on a date, I won't have any money.
Good talk Zoie👍🏾
I also getting that never date a Black girl talk also but I normal ask if they ever Dated a back girl before.
I went an a Date with a guy and he never paid the bill and I was like whaaaat!!
My problem here is because I workout alot of guys seem to always see my body and not me😬
It's never cool when people only objectify you and don't truly see you 😔. Sorry about some of your experiences!
Maybe there is the man you are looking for not in any gym. The men there are actually often very superficially body-oriented. Maybe only men like that ask you out on a date.
Nice men often don't dare to ask a beautiful woman out on a date. So start the conversation by yourself and get them to ask you out, ;-) .
Dear Z-M, I fully understand your position and personally agree. However please mind that some of the circumstances you mentioned in which German men behaved non-chivalrous might also be due to the fact that very many modern German women find such chivalry outdated , some even offensive
Regarding dating in Germany: You should give a listen to the song "Aurelie" by Wir Sind Helden. There's a certain self-awareness...
Now I'm curious about this song.
I'm there with you on the chivalry. Sometimes you wonder - are they being disrespectful, or did no one teach them?
We are taught at a young age to exercise manners. My parents are originally from the south ( Alabama) and bad manners are a big no no. I dated a german man and we, rather I, emphasized yes it is good to be direct but you must be tactful, respectful and show good manners. The moment I hear " I've never dated a black girl before, " the date gets deleted.
Oh, another irritant: where are you REALLY from? As though only white people are Americans. My response is well, my ancestors were sent to a America 🇺🇸 400 years ago, so I'm clueless what African country I'm really from. I remind them the 🇺🇸 is a nation of immigrants 😊
"The date get's deleted" 😂 Yes! I 100% agree. Manners to me are too important as well that they never say weird comments to me about dating a black woman... The date and conversation after that is over
You're not from an African country, you're from the United States of America, they should take it and deal with it. A lot of foreign people think Americans are only white so I teach them and tell them the truth that they have been denied.🙂
1 Europeans are always laughing at Americans for our geographic ignorance but Europeans are woefully ignorant of USA history. That “no where are you really from” gets a brief USA history lesson. Being black American ADOS means my ancestors have been in the USA for over 400 years. When you add in my native ancestry ( dad is ¾ native) it means my USA roots predate most white Americans!
2 I have to remind Euro men of the obvious! I am NOT one of your country women and am not privy to the same benefits and privileges nor beliefs and culture of your women. I expect you to pay for dates and have manners. After all you want the perks of dating a foreign woman but want to punish me for the idiosyncrasies of your own women. Not having it. Why I seek out well traveled, culturally adept euro males only.
Missing dating manners in Germany - so TRUE! (I am German)
I am asked often here in Frankonia "where are you from", for I am born in Cologne. I am a white German, but my language is a little bit different than it is spoken here. But this does not bother me. In Germany, a darker woman is special, they are not so frequent here as in the USA or in Brasil. We are not used to them, although there are of course black people who are German and were born and raised here.
Als Schwarzer kannst du kein Deutscher sein.
Weiß zu sein ist auch zu wenig um Deutscher zu sein.
Deutsch ist eine eigene Abstammung.
well, it used to be like this back in teh 1980s and even the 1990s. What you describe as chivalry used to exist.
Great information and I am curious about whether or not men in Germany expect women to split the bill on a date?
Old German man here. I remember some German women on insisting to split the bill. But then, we often were simply meeting rather than dating. All the partners I later met, things worked differently. First we met often inside our group, then started making out and decided to become a couple. After that I usually paid because I earned more. But that was decades ago.
What kind of blunt questions did you get on your first dates?
First of all, "black is beautiful". Lots of Germans pay a lot of money every week for the tanning salon to look something like African Americans. The sign that you have been on vacation is the tan afterwards. The darker the better.
It is true that when it comes to dating in Germany, it is customary for everyone to pay for themselves. As a man, I like the customs of the old school and would like to hold the door for my lady and invite her to dinner. Many German women see this as a disregard for their emancipation. There was an argument more than once because my lady refused to be invited.
When I wanted to carry the heavy shopping bag for a female fellow student, I was glad that she didn't push me down the stairs in anger. German women carry their shopping bags themselves...
Wow, I like when a guy treats me nice do nice things like holding bags.
I’ve heard this stereotype about German women, I’m not sure how true it is but I assume some women are exactly as you explained and they have their right to be! I guess it just confirms there are different types of women who like different types of things ✨
@@ZoieMarie This of course also applies to the boys. And that's why the royal children don't come together, (that's a quote from a
Greek folk song, "... because the water was much too deep.") I actually experienced it that way and once saw it from my perspective
of the boy who wants to court his date in a kind and charming way and feels instantly rejected. Rituals havean important function when it comes to dating because rituals make it easier for men and women to get to know each other. Even indigenous people, far fromevery civilization have rituals when it comes to dating. If the lady forbids the gentle-man to be gentle, only "man" remains.
@@wernholttempelhoff9301 Ich liebe Wortspiele!
@@ZoieMarie So if the women is offended, it's okay. When the guy reacts in the way to never do it again, it's poor manners. Lady, please make your choice and stick to the consequences...
Oh, Zoie you are spot on with the mannerisms or lack of with Germans . I have been here for over 20+ years and I still cannot get used to how they will knock you over and never apologize, because everyone else is either at fault or they just don’t have any home training. It drives me crazy and I will never get used to it or accept. Liebe Grüße aus Berlin I am big fan of yours.
there are rude pple everywhere
My experience,
We converse for hours in German, the moment i say I'm a foreigner, "should we speak in English?" 🤣 I'm fluent in both languages btw... OR
Have you ever had s*x with a white man? I'm just nosy and wanna know what I'm working with 🤦🏾♀️
Haha oh goodness! To your second statement, those were some of the nasty comments I was receiving via bumble, and I was just like wow 🤨
Same(ish!) stuff has happened to me…as a “white “ presenting mixed-race Latina/Asian/European American etc(I’m quite a mix!) I got A LOT of STAAAAAARES in countries like Pakistan, China, and Panama etc. A LOT. Right Up In Yo’ Face staring too. Especially in Karachi Pakistan…unnerving. I sympathize.
To understand the behavior of german men you first have to understand german women. When I was in school the girls didn't want to be seen as princesses and they often said "I can open the door myself!" or "Stop favoring me! I don't need your help!". Of course german men are not assholes in general but they were taught that women are equal BY women and they respect that.
I'm basically nice to everyone and I don't like the word "chivalry" because it implies, that you should only be nice to women. You should ask yourself if it's a huge hassle to open a door on your own if the person in front of you would have to wait for you to approach. I do it anyway but I'd hate it if it was expected of me if you know what I mean... The story with the little kid sounds so american it hurts!
for you? easy… snap with your fingers… you’re so smart and gorgeous that there will be enough selection for you until the end of all days…
I'm sorry, I'm half German on my Mom's side. I just laughed out loud when you mentioned: No Filter. I always thought I got that from my Dad😂 Turns out it's from my Mom, well, more like my Aunt who also has no filter. But thank God my parents taught me manners cause my Aunt can be really blunt, where I am just walking talking positivity 😂 My daughter asked me how did I roast the guy who worked with stock keeping at the grocery store like that? There was no pasta boxes in store where you just add minced meat and milk and cook it and you have dinner. I had no idea! I told her well they're supposed to have it in stock and now there's just: so sorry we don't have it in stock. No explanations. The customer is always right. What she called "roasted" was just me being straight forward asking for help. I wasn't mean at all, my daughter is just extremely introvert and gentle, and I'm also gentle but extremely extrovert.
Never could get pass the 1st conversation on dating sites so gave it up completely. You're still single if you're not married dear.
Very informative sia
Thank you 😊
Bluntness isn't is german trait - it's impoliteness. And this is from a german being blunt.
Your hair is beautiful.
Thank you!
On thing many people don't know is that you do not always let the woman enter first. of course that would be polite but it depends on the place you are entering. if it's a potentionally "hostile" or "dangerous" environment like an unknown bar you are getting into it's a gentlemans duty to enter first so he gets the chair slammed into his face instead of her :-D this totally chances if you enter a known or knowingly safe place like let's say a fine restaurant where the chance of flying stuff is rather low. then of course you let the woman enter first.
Hello there!
In what city\land do you live?
I’m a foreigner too and met quite a lot of black people here in Germany. So people are quite used to multicultural variety. But yeah, it depends on the land. I’ve heard that in the East people are less tolerant. I’ve lived in the South and in the North. Here the atmosphere is better
hi zoie dont worry you ara realy amazing human loking prety good , i live in germany mouslu people cold, i love americans.. take care
Looking at you, I´d add that some guys just don´t know what to say when they meet a BEAUTIFULYOUNGINTELLIGENT lady.
Since we are westerners/Europeans we listen to what the women have to say in our countries and because of the feminist movements we have been breaking down traditional values that surround dating and the treatment of women. We used to see them as prizes and trophies to shelter and cater to but feminism has thought us that's bad. So now we treat you more as equals.
That's a good thing
There are small minds all over the world - you are a beautiful WOMAN period
Don't know either tinder or bumble... maybe because I'm too old for that. This chivalry-thing is not a thing here in germany - right. But slamming to door to another person either. I hold the door no matter if it's a he or a she and others do that as well. It's more a minority in my opinion.
But around 20 years ago I read an article of dating between american soldiers and british women in the second world war. There were... I don't know 20 (?) single steps when dating. And because the british women missinterpreted one signal which would be at the end of the line they send a signal the GIs missinterpreted as well. That's why british women thought GIs are Jerks and the GIs thought british women were sluts.
chivalry used to be a big thing like 20 years ago but the new generation sees it as cringe and "looking like youre trying to hard", so they kinda got rid of that. its really sad to see
I am ofc! Off topic but is plaiting in Germany that expensive ?
You sound very intelligent and very beautiful!❤
depending on where you live
Chivalry is indeed a missing thing nowadays.
I am black and want to date black. Direct me if you have some ideas how to do it in Germany!