Great job on the drums, Patrick! It’s a really hard job for trauma survivors to express their talent publicly. But this musician is thinking your performance and abilities are A+++. Thanks for the great tune and the inspiration.
Reading this made me emotional, I frequently will look at my gf and say "I'm good" jokingly when I've accomplished something. Strangely it actually makes me feel a bit better and a little tearful. I struggle with anxiety and OCD themes of being "bad or evil". Understanding that I was a good kid really helps me a lot. We were good kids.
Hey I have noticed this too! Its so refreshing to have my inner voice be more encouraging and kind vs critical and putting me down like its been doing all my life. I hope this new year brings you all more healing and hope ❤
Me too. I literally heard myself once when I forgot something stupid at home ; "God fu@#%$& dammit Elly". Thats what they said to me as I made normal mistakes growing up. I'm trying to change it to "whoopsie"
Haven't had this phase yet, any tips how to get there? What trauma did to me was create a sort of NPD personality and it actually benefits me (keeps me safe) while it also ruins my life. So IDK how to get tired of it!
What was done to us-the level of trickery, deception, various forms of abuse-has an evil & supernatural nature to it. Now, I don’t know whether or not you or anyone else here is religious, but I know that God will avenge. The Law of Reciprocity continues to apply. Parents who inflict evil on their children receive payment/penalty for that. When my own parents mistreated me, their health was afflicted; I’m a living testament to that. My mom has already been gone for a decade.
Thank you, Patrick. Your content came into my life at the exact right time. I’m divorcing a narc and have just awoken to his abuse and that of my toxic family. I feel so seen and hopeful that my future is going to be so much better than my past. May we all drum on, friends ❤️🩹
Yes, realizing that a healthy family would be happy to have a kid like you is exhilarating and devastating at the same time. It's not easy to finally admit that you were never the problem
It’s even tougher when the trauma you have not dealt with your whole life has led you to almost 60 years old and you are alone with no children. I am pushing hard to change my life and I need to leave my current situation physically and emotionally. Christmas was the last straw.I’m working on a plan. Thank you, Patrick for giving us this forum.
I love me a bit of Franz Ferdinand. I saw them twice live. The second time in 2009 was a lot better than the first time in 2005 and then I was there with someone tagging along who feigned liking them. He ruined the experience for me. I would have sooner been on my own.
Thank you for this message, Patrick, and thanks to the person who asked the question in the first place. I was wondering the same thing. By the say, this song and the way you play the drums along with it is amazing.
I absolutely love how you speak to this! We have woken up to a moutain of grief in our journey of becoming better parents for our own kids... Didnt realize how much we didn't have until we started doing the work to give it to ours. Greatful everyday we woke up. Feel this. ❤
I’m actually going through this right now. I’m in the process of letting go of the “why.” My wife is a huge help. She helped me realize that knowing the reasons doesn’t help the healing process. And even if I asked directly, I wouldn’t be satisfied with the answer no matter what it was. The healing comes from accepting all that happened and letting go of the resentment. It’s a struggle every day, because new memories and new feeling surface. It is a hell of a process but it is worth it. It’s never too late to heal. ❤️🩹
Wow! Thank you Patrick! You are Amazing!!! AND Yes!!! It is a mess and I have said fuck it, and I am getting better every day!!! Thank you for everything you do!!!
And I am wishing you and this entire community a very, very happy New Year!!! This Short you created is a perfect send off of this old year, and perfect welcom to 2025!!! Thank you! Thank you, Thank you!!!!
absolutely WICKED HOT PATRICK‼️‼️‼️.. YOU and your messages of hope, healing and encouragement are tremendously helpful and hopeful….. and YES, i so agree, we ARE frickin’ FABULOUS ‼️‼️❣️.. our monster “families” were/are criminals..
The original crisis of waking up to the breath, depth & severity of your childhood trauma. Very well described. The music seriously rocks! Very fitting. Happy New Year, Patrick. 🎉 You rock. ❤
I was the most amazing kid and son growing up and yes, a great family would have cherished me. Now sometimes the sleep hits me and I can sleep for a whole day, that's when I know I am healing.
Aye! They think you are the lucky one cos they were better than their parents. It's very weird not feeling like a spoiled princess and everyone thinking you are.
I can't elucidate how much your content has helped me. Seeing stuff like this everyday has functioned something like the only tether keeping me from falling off the edge of the cliffside.
I wouldn't have believed this at the beginning of my journey, but now I agree 100%. I am still working, but I find I am more content each day. Happy trails to anyone on their journey!
Fuqqit, I'm selling these electronic drums and going acoustic. I need all the bang I can get in this phase of healing. Thanks for the double lesson😂❤❤❤!
You were a great kid and a healthier family would have cherished you 😢 so true. I think about this / question it when parenting my own kids whose unique quirks and brilliance are so lovable. It’s sad our own parents couldn’t see us.
If you are young(teens) set yourself up for when you can leave. Get with like minded people who are a positive influence, set goals( small & big) financial and emotional support is crucial!! This is what I would have told my younger self. Don’t fall for them throwing you away, then reeling you back in for their own selfish gain. If you are young and awake, you have a lot going for you, I promise!! I am 55, I am awake, and oh how I wish I knew what I know now! Although my parents threw me out my senior year, I got a job a place and eventually went to college and got a degree.. yet these accomplishments were always surrounded by what wonderful parents they were to me. They had nothing to do with any of it! If I didn’t do what I did.. they wouldn’t have cared.. they left me out to be homeless, took my car from my place of work( although I paid half), took me off insurance, health, dental( needless to say I didn’t find out until I went to dentist that they took me off-quite embarrassing and sad). I did nothing for my mother to kick me out except she was just mad I don’t know why and was never told why. The priest, my school counselor, my friends parents, my grandmother all tried to get her to take me back in or at least talk to me, but she wasn’t having it! 3 months later she calls liked she did for the next 18 yrs out of nowhere and pretended everything was fine and we were best friends!! I didn’t understand, but I didn’t question because I craved to be loved by her. She treated my siblings completely different than me it was so obvious.. but again I kept it inside. She never was there for me when I needed her. If I had a dollar for every time a family member or family friend tell me “ she loves you in her own way” I would have a million dollars if not more! Although she has nothing to do with me or my children, has said awful things about me, kept my siblings, my step-father and my grandmother away from me for almost 20 years now… It wasn’t until I started watching Patrick a couple years ago that I finally woke up! She didn’t love me! She didn’t love me the way I needed to be loved as a child or as an adult . I realized all the trauma I projected wasn’t about the people I projected it on, it was a trigger to my own baggage of trauma! I have apologized to everyone I have hurt and have taken responsibility for my actions but I am still a work in progress. I never understood this wrath I had, but I know it’s from stuffing everything down and at 55 the body keeps score. So I am dealing with physical and mental health and trying to keep her voice out of my head that brings me down. The holidays are hard for me bc despite all that my family has done ( there is sooo much more) I love and miss the good times. But, I am still grieving the loss of my family 20 yrs later knowing they are still alive. Knowing I will never see them again! So my advice is you are lucky to be awake, young and can set yourself up to do better and be better when it’s time to be on your own. And then you can decide if you want contact, little contact or no contact which is a personal choice! But you are ahead of the game my dear.. I will pray for you!! You can and will be amazing in life! Stay strong!❤
It's a sneaky thing. I finally found a professional who recognised 'high function' nutbag. I overcame loads of stuff but it's like hypnotism or something there's subtle 'thoughts' you really think are normal and now I have an unexplained pain syndrome. Much much happier though. I am blessed.
When you get away from the toxic people and start to heal, you can see when there are actual good people in your life. My dad tried to weaponize Christmas presents to weasel my mom a visit knowing i have been 2 years no contact with her. I pointed out to my wife a normal person gives gifts. My parents don't give anything, they use it as emotional capital. They don't give, they only trade. For years I couldn't accept gifts or even compliments. My in-laws took my wife and son and I on a trip to Disney. It was amazing and they have never asked for one thing from me. There are good people out there. If I hadn't healed I could have never accepted that.
For me it was too much. 20 years of struggling with law troubles because of my family jarassing because of my mom dying young and her posessions. All was so chaos and painful. I was in college having such a good performance. Then I got to be in all this confusing storytelling of my family harassing me and I am over
Couldn't love this more Patrick. GREAT song choice for the topic! I was fortunate enough a few years back to connect with my birth family. I was blown away! They were all so accepting, welcoming, encouraging, intelligent, funny, and have an abundance of artistic talent (like me!!). This was after 50 odd years of being told over and over that my birth family were bad people (insert racist comment here), and that I was SO lucky to have been rescued by "good white people." (I'll be like Patrick and cross out the word 'good' and replace it with 'screwed up') 😅
That last line tho...😢...that realization is pushing me to (30-40 years later!) find mentors as well as BE one to make up for all that lost time when everyone thought I was ok simply because I came from a two-parent Xtian household.
You have the creativity of Stewart Copeland on this. To me Copeland changed everything. From the “Door Girl” who hosted the GCs Drum Off 3 yrs in a row. Can’t play but I can break ‘‘em down and put ‘‘em back up and I know how to mic up the kit in the clubs like nobody else I know. Thank you for these words because I need them so bad right now. Just when I think I’ve made some progress, or recovery, I’m back in the hole again. I feel so ripped off. They ripped me off big time & enjoyed every minute of it.
The jealousy that a toxic family can emit onto the talented victim is mind-blowing. They don't want you to succeed, because doing so forces them to look at their weaknesses.
I scored 96 of 100: extreme toxic family... I am grateful Patrick for your content... Survive overwhelm and intensity . Slow ways being believed in culture: I need understand lot of things , dont know how much psychiatri understand trauma...But hope I get Attachment therapy for anxiety go no contact w narcissistic family after realize I been scapegoat - self gaslighting in weird beliefs from toxic religious abuse... Narcissistic abuse- Weaponized faith turn against me- gaslighting, toxic shame, guilt , is opposite of order of parents responsibility of care and protect childrens safety. Emotional honesty and reality of responsibility is opposite of Spiritual abuse / Spiritual bypass. Music , art , humour, movies
Any advice on how to overcome the overwhelming sense of regret at wasted time due to trauma? (Although I keep telling myself that I couldn't have done any differently up til now given the circumstances, but I can't shift this horrid feeling)
That is a great thing to keep reminding yourself of. I like to tell myself that the time will pass regardless, and it’s up to you to decide where you stand at the end of it all. Many people never even get the chance to heal. You get to choose what to do now and going forward, and in terms of time spent, it’s quality over quantity, always.
If you notice that you have a bit more passion than most, or you're a bit more creative, or you're a bit more invested in honesty, well...that might have been the ingredients that made you the target to begin with. Toxic families are fiercely devoted to rigid life rules. They see hierarchies to people, when we are all simply uniquely different from each other. You won't be able to rely on them to help you be your authentic self.
The worst part about healing is that waking up can feel good, finally i have answers! I can say why im like this, i can take present triggers and pinpoint where they come from in my past, i have the verviage to describe my pain. I find that thete is skills to learn to be more emotionally mature and regulated... But I suck at those skills. And i do find myself acting like my parents, and now i *know* when my own behavior or thoughts are toxic. There is a period of time after "waking up" to your trauma where you suck at healing because you havnt done it before. I can read dozens of books and hundreds of pages of literature and studies, but it all goes out the window when im triggered. And for a long long while i could only notice what had happened *after* it happened. It can be discouraging to feel like youre "bad' at healing, especially if your trauma comes from the gifted kid pipeline where it was expected that you were naturally good at things and youre not really good at practicing anything because you only ever stuck to what you were good at
I am still seeking help. thus far, no therapists in this city specializes in childhood trauma/recovery. i still go thru days where I feel good about myself. today is not one. i feel very bleh, sad, n depressed. woke up like this. no idea why.
Pseudo cherished = put on a pedestal to be shown off and used, guilt infused by watching the sibling being scapegoated and alienated. Thank Goodness, we saw through it once out of the woods. They still don't comprehend their luck that we didn't go no contact. Now loosing their faculties to mature. Hard to watch. Let's cherish life and break the viscous circle.
![Was Your Other Parent Narcissistic Too? - 10 Signs [2025]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/vjr-jh0Cimg/mqdefault.jpg)
Great job on the drums, Patrick! It’s a really hard job for trauma survivors to express their talent publicly. But this musician is thinking your performance and abilities are A+++. Thanks for the great tune and the inspiration.
‘You realize you were a good kid…” I really was. I am so happy that my family is no longer in my everyday life.
You were; you & I both. Our parents were actually wrong At Least most of the time.
Reading this made me emotional, I frequently will look at my gf and say "I'm good" jokingly when I've accomplished something. Strangely it actually makes me feel a bit better and a little tearful. I struggle with anxiety and OCD themes of being "bad or evil". Understanding that I was a good kid really helps me a lot. We were good kids.
@@nora.taylor We really were.
@@christyviolet926 So true.✨
I noticed the way I spoke to myself changed when I started putting effort into healing.
That's great! I've just noticed this with the way I speak to myself, too.
Hey I have noticed this too! Its so refreshing to have my inner voice be more encouraging and kind vs critical and putting me down like its been doing all my life. I hope this new year brings you all more healing and hope ❤
For me it was when I started hanging around supportive and compassionate people!
Me too. I literally heard myself once when I forgot something stupid at home ; "God fu@#%$& dammit Elly".
Thats what they said to me as I made normal mistakes growing up.
I'm trying to change it to "whoopsie"
“You say fuck it and decide to get better” Real. So fucking real.
Haven't had this phase yet, any tips how to get there? What trauma did to me was create a sort of NPD personality and it actually benefits me (keeps me safe) while it also ruins my life. So IDK how to get tired of it!
It’s overwhelming and sad to have been traumatized and not realize what happened to you.
Thanks Patrick, for your healing ❤️🩹 support.
What was done to us-the level of trickery, deception, various forms of abuse-has an evil & supernatural nature to it. Now, I don’t know whether or not you or anyone else here is religious, but I know that God will avenge. The Law of Reciprocity continues to apply. Parents who inflict evil on their children receive payment/penalty for that. When my own parents mistreated me, their health was afflicted; I’m a living testament to that. My mom has already been gone for a decade.
Thank you, Patrick. Your content came into my life at the exact right time. I’m divorcing a narc and have just awoken to his abuse and that of my toxic family. I feel so seen and hopeful that my future is going to be so much better than my past. May we all drum on, friends ❤️🩹
I love this song. Also love that playing drums is therapy for you. Big props, from a lifelong musician❤
I would love to try it out, it looks so fun 😊
Yes, realizing that a healthy family would be happy to have a kid like you is exhilarating and devastating at the same time. It's not easy to finally admit that you were never the problem
Agreed ❤
💯
A terrible feeling but if you have kids, it’s comforting to know you can give them the love you never received. That in and of itself is healing ❤️🩹
It’s even tougher when the trauma you have not dealt with your whole life has led you to almost 60 years old and you are alone with no children. I am pushing hard to change my life and I need to leave my current situation physically and emotionally. Christmas was the last straw.I’m working on a plan. Thank you, Patrick for giving us this forum.
I love me a bit of Franz Ferdinand. I saw them twice live. The second time in 2009 was a lot better than the first time in 2005 and then I was there with someone tagging along who feigned liking them. He ruined the experience for me. I would have sooner been on my own.
Thank you for turning one of my favorite songs into the fight song for dealing with my childhood trauma ❤
right? that shift in the beat to something more steady and deliberate is a nice aural metaphor
@lilyl5492 so true
I never loved this song, but it is PERFECT for this message. IT HITS DIFFERENT NOW.
Great drumming along a hopeful message 🙏👌💕
🎸🌟🌟🌟🥁 🎉🎊AweSoMe I thought so too !!! 🎉totally literally Rocks, this🎉
Thank you for this message, Patrick, and thanks to the person who asked the question in the first place. I was wondering the same thing. By the say, this song and the way you play the drums along with it is amazing.
I absolutely love how you speak to this! We have woken up to a moutain of grief in our journey of becoming better parents for our own kids... Didnt realize how much we didn't have until we started doing the work to give it to ours. Greatful everyday we woke up. Feel this. ❤
Thank you!!
I’m actually going through this right now. I’m in the process of letting go of the “why.” My wife is a huge help. She helped me realize that knowing the reasons doesn’t help the healing process. And even if I asked directly, I wouldn’t be satisfied with the answer no matter what it was. The healing comes from accepting all that happened and letting go of the resentment. It’s a struggle every day, because new memories and new feeling surface. It is a hell of a process but it is worth it. It’s never too late to heal. ❤️🩹
Her love and support to be cherished.❤ Many are on a solitary jojourney.
That last sentence really hit me...
Wow! Thank you Patrick! You are Amazing!!! AND Yes!!! It is a mess and I have said fuck it, and I am getting better every day!!! Thank you for everything you do!!!
And I am wishing you and this entire community a very, very happy New Year!!! This Short you created is a perfect send off of this old year, and perfect welcom to 2025!!! Thank you! Thank you, Thank you!!!!
Patrick A+ on the drum work & cherishing US❤Keep the Music & Motivation 🥁Coming!! Thank You!!!🎉🎉🎉
Wonderfully detailed message, thank you.
Happy New Year all.
We are beautiful 🎆🌌💫
absolutely WICKED HOT PATRICK‼️‼️‼️.. YOU and your messages of hope, healing and encouragement are tremendously helpful and hopeful….. and YES, i so agree, we ARE frickin’ FABULOUS ‼️‼️❣️.. our monster “families” were/are criminals..
Bro. Patrick, this went so harrrd!!🤘🏾
I loved this, thanks for your work and the community you’ve built.
Agreed ❤
The original crisis of waking up to the breath, depth & severity of your childhood trauma. Very well described. The music seriously rocks! Very fitting.
Happy New Year, Patrick. 🎉
You rock. ❤
❤ ya man!!! Jam out and a positive message. Boom!!! 🎉🎉🎉 love it 👍👏👏👏👏
I have to say that these shorts where you're playing music are my favorites. ❤️
That last line, I'm making it my mantra
I was the most amazing kid and son growing up and yes, a great family would have cherished me. Now sometimes the sleep hits me and I can sleep for a whole day, that's when I know I am healing.
That’s interesting.
OMGOSH! Everything about this video is relatable. Thank you. You just gave me the hope to push through.
🎉 you can do it!!!!!🎉
Wow, yes! Small shifts, big shifts, yes to this!
And a nod to hitting the bottom of bottomless grief in realizing you ARE the “cherished” child…of traumatized children.
Aye! They think you are the lucky one cos they were better than their parents. It's very weird not feeling like a spoiled princess and everyone thinking you are.
Awh 🥰 yep self acceptance is very healing freeing nd way less stressful nd just more peaceful nd fun 😊
I can't elucidate how much your content has helped me. Seeing stuff like this everyday has functioned something like the only tether keeping me from falling off the edge of the cliffside.
Cheers to that! never ever had that thought "you were a great kid and another family would have cherished you" ! Awesome.
I wouldn't have believed this at the beginning of my journey, but now I agree 100%. I am still working, but I find I am more content each day. Happy trails to anyone on their journey!
I love the way you are so passionate about sharing your musical journey here on this channel, love it! Keep going❤❤❤
It often feels worse before it feels better, but the "better" is OH SO MUCH BETTER!! ❤❤❤
Fuqqit, I'm selling these electronic drums and going acoustic. I need all the bang I can get in this phase of healing.
Thanks for the double lesson😂❤❤❤!
Noice🗣️
Yep yep and yep! Nice jam session too, love the drums! 🎉
It's a deep, dark, lonely place to be in.......
I love how you share a bit of you with advice for us from your experience.
Love the shirt, too!!!! Hawaiian shirts forever!!!!!!
Hell yeah, LET'S GOOOOOO!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Thank you SO much for this! That's exactly how it's been for me. Very validating!
Also a lot of fun to get to see you drumming!!
You were a great kid and a healthier family would have cherished you 😢 so true. I think about this / question it when parenting my own kids whose unique quirks and brilliance are so lovable. It’s sad our own parents couldn’t see us.
This really moved me
Keep on rocking, Mr. Teahan!
Thank you ❤
Shits a journey fr
Fr fr
This is amazing ❤❤❤❤❤
When you wake up too early and cannot get out of the family 😮💨
For Real 😳
If you are young(teens) set yourself up for when you can leave. Get with like minded people who are a positive influence, set goals( small & big) financial and emotional support is crucial!! This is what I would have told my younger self. Don’t fall for them throwing you away, then reeling you back in for their own selfish gain. If you are young and awake, you have a lot going for you, I promise!! I am 55, I am awake, and oh how I wish I knew what I know now! Although my parents threw me out my senior year, I got a job a place and eventually went to college and got a degree.. yet these accomplishments were always surrounded by what wonderful parents they were to me. They had nothing to do with any of it! If I didn’t do what I did.. they wouldn’t have cared.. they left me out to be homeless, took my car from my place of work( although I paid half), took me off insurance, health, dental( needless to say I didn’t find out until I went to dentist that they took me off-quite embarrassing and sad). I did nothing for my mother to kick me out except she was just mad I don’t know why and was never told why. The priest, my school counselor, my friends parents, my grandmother all tried to get her to take me back in or at least talk to me, but she wasn’t having it! 3 months later she calls liked she did for the next 18 yrs out of nowhere and pretended everything was fine and we were best friends!! I didn’t understand, but I didn’t question because I craved to be loved by her. She treated my siblings completely different than me it was so obvious.. but again I kept it inside. She never was there for me when I needed her. If I had a dollar for every time a family member or family friend tell me “ she loves you in her own way” I would have a million dollars if not more! Although she has nothing to do with me or my children, has said awful things about me, kept my siblings, my step-father and my grandmother away from me for almost 20 years now… It wasn’t until I started watching Patrick a couple years ago that I finally woke up! She didn’t love me! She didn’t love me the way I needed to be loved as a child or as an adult . I realized all the trauma I projected wasn’t about the people I projected it on, it was a trigger to my own baggage of trauma! I have apologized to everyone I have hurt and have taken responsibility for my actions but I am still a work in progress. I never understood this wrath I had, but I know it’s from stuffing everything down and at 55 the body keeps score. So I am dealing with physical and mental health and trying to keep her voice out of my head that brings me down. The holidays are hard for me bc despite all that my family has done ( there is sooo much more) I love and miss the good times. But, I am still grieving the loss of my family 20 yrs later knowing they are still alive. Knowing I will never see them again! So my advice is you are lucky to be awake, young and can set yourself up to do better and be better when it’s time to be on your own. And then you can decide if you want contact, little contact or no contact which is a personal choice! But you are ahead of the game my dear.. I will pray for you!! You can and will be amazing in life! Stay strong!❤
All of this. Amazing. Rock on Patrick!!!!!!
I see you❤
YEAAAAAHHHH!!! ❤😂🎉 🥁🧡
Great truth❤😢😂❤🎉
It's a sneaky thing. I finally found a professional who recognised 'high function' nutbag. I overcame loads of stuff but it's like hypnotism or something there's subtle 'thoughts' you really think are normal and now I have an unexplained pain syndrome. Much much happier though. I am blessed.
🥁Thank you🥁
Awesome ❣️ 🤘 THANK YOU
This is TRUTH
When you get away from the toxic people and start to heal, you can see when there are actual good people in your life.
My dad tried to weaponize Christmas presents to weasel my mom a visit knowing i have been 2 years no contact with her. I pointed out to my wife a normal person gives gifts. My parents don't give anything, they use it as emotional capital. They don't give, they only trade.
For years I couldn't accept gifts or even compliments.
My in-laws took my wife and son and I on a trip to Disney. It was amazing and they have never asked for one thing from me.
There are good people out there.
If I hadn't healed I could have never accepted that.
For me it was too much. 20 years of struggling with law troubles because of my family jarassing because of my mom dying young and her posessions. All was so chaos and painful. I was in college having such a good performance. Then I got to be in all this confusing storytelling of my family harassing me and I am over
Love this. Thank you!
I'm on the last one after years of work. Getting there day by day 🎉
😭🫠🙂😌Thank you
i made a big leap at the end of 24. im excited whats coming for me in 2025.
What did u do?
@Bronte866 effective selfreflection and crushed bad behaverial patterns.
Needed that, bro!
That got me 😢
When your heart is broken but at least you can jam 🤘🤘
Couldn't love this more Patrick. GREAT song choice for the topic! I was fortunate enough a few years back to connect with my birth family. I was blown away! They were all so accepting, welcoming, encouraging, intelligent, funny, and have an abundance of artistic talent (like me!!). This was after 50 odd years of being told over and over that my birth family were bad people (insert racist comment here), and that I was SO lucky to have been rescued by "good white people." (I'll be like Patrick and cross out the word 'good' and replace it with 'screwed up') 😅
They key is to avoid victim blamer
That last line tho...😢...that realization is pushing me to (30-40 years later!) find mentors as well as BE one to make up for all that lost time when everyone thought I was ok simply because I came from a two-parent Xtian household.
You have the creativity of Stewart Copeland on this. To me Copeland changed everything. From the “Door Girl” who hosted the GCs Drum Off 3 yrs in a row. Can’t play but I can break ‘‘em down and put ‘‘em back up and I know how to mic up the kit in the clubs like nobody else I know. Thank you for these words because I need them so bad right now. Just when I think I’ve made some progress, or recovery, I’m back in the hole again. I feel so ripped off. They ripped me off big time & enjoyed every minute of it.
OG Guitar Hero
That's been my experience. Knowing other people are going through the same process is validating
The jealousy that a toxic family can emit onto the talented victim is mind-blowing. They don't want you to succeed, because doing so forces them to look at their weaknesses.
Fuck yeah! That's exactly how it goes Patrick! HNY 2025 to you, and to us all who are becoming able to cherish ourselves!
I scored 96 of 100: extreme toxic family...
I am grateful Patrick for your content... Survive overwhelm and intensity . Slow ways being believed in culture: I need understand lot of things , dont know how much psychiatri understand trauma...But hope I get Attachment therapy for anxiety go no contact w narcissistic family after realize I been scapegoat - self gaslighting in weird beliefs from toxic religious abuse... Narcissistic abuse- Weaponized faith turn against me- gaslighting, toxic shame, guilt , is opposite of order of parents responsibility of care and protect childrens safety.
Emotional honesty and reality of responsibility is opposite of Spiritual abuse / Spiritual bypass.
Music , art , humour, movies
Oh, thank you, Patrick! 💕I needed this right now.
This, exactly. So validating.
What a magnificent drummer you are 🎉❤
Any advice on how to overcome the overwhelming sense of regret at wasted time due to trauma? (Although I keep telling myself that I couldn't have done any differently up til now given the circumstances, but I can't shift this horrid feeling)
That is a great thing to keep reminding yourself of. I like to tell myself that the time will pass regardless, and it’s up to you to decide where you stand at the end of it all. Many people never even get the chance to heal. You get to choose what to do now and going forward, and in terms of time spent, it’s quality over quantity, always.
Sick beats, had to rewatch because couldn't concentrate on the text
Always ❤️ this song! 🤘🤘
Thanks Patrick 😊 ❤
If you notice that you have a bit more passion than most, or you're a bit more creative, or you're a bit more invested in honesty, well...that might have been the ingredients that made you the target to begin with. Toxic families are fiercely devoted to rigid life rules. They see hierarchies to people, when we are all simply uniquely different from each other. You won't be able to rely on them to help you be your authentic self.
Patrick is so f’ing cool 😎
Bad ass track my friend
That was awesome dude! 😊 yes just keep swimming
Lol I had to watch this again. Music and trauma TH-cam lines being blurred - didn't realise it had writing first time. Happy new year luv
The worst part about healing is that waking up can feel good, finally i have answers! I can say why im like this, i can take present triggers and pinpoint where they come from in my past, i have the verviage to describe my pain. I find that thete is skills to learn to be more emotionally mature and regulated... But
I suck at those skills. And i do find myself acting like my parents, and now i *know* when my own behavior or thoughts are toxic. There is a period of time after "waking up" to your trauma where you suck at healing because you havnt done it before. I can read dozens of books and hundreds of pages of literature and studies, but it all goes out the window when im triggered. And for a long long while i could only notice what had happened *after* it happened.
It can be discouraging to feel like youre "bad' at healing, especially if your trauma comes from the gifted kid pipeline where it was expected that you were naturally good at things and youre not really good at practicing anything because you only ever stuck to what you were good at
Great music patrick!
You are so talented, I loved that ❤
Thank you omg ❤
Yes 💯
Awesome!!!
Over the years I’ve known a few musicians, and most are fairly introverted. I know for some it was an escape.
Love Franz Ferdinand. Nice combination.
I am still seeking help. thus far, no therapists in this city specializes in childhood trauma/recovery.
i still go thru days where I feel good about myself. today is not one. i feel very bleh, sad, n depressed. woke up like this. no idea why.
Pseudo cherished = put on a pedestal to be shown off and used, guilt infused by watching the sibling being scapegoated and alienated. Thank Goodness, we saw through it once out of the woods.
They still don't comprehend their luck that we didn't go no contact. Now loosing their faculties to mature. Hard to watch.
Let's cherish life and break the viscous circle.
HOW CUTE
💯❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥
2025 will be the first full year that I get to be myself. I’m not terrified of life and my place in the world anymore.
Reading with loud music in the background. ADHD unite!
❤❤❤
You need to be on Drumeo 😆