I still maintain that my idea for a sequel where Blue gets a job as a small town sherriff in the Midwest and everyone speaks and responds to her as if she was a normal human being would have been a more entertaining watch.
Heres hoping they're smart enough to try that next What am I saying, the Universal execs are giving the idiots at InGen/BioGen a run for their money at this point.
I would watch that movie. Blue is secretly eating all the criminals, the local handyman has a thing for blue and keeps asking her out, everyone is entirely oblivious to the fact she is a velociraptor except for ONE pothead in town who everyone just thinks is paranoid from too much drug use.
@@bZman exactly! I'm glad we are on the same page. And she ends up adopting some plucky street kid and putting them through school while juggling her career.
The "thing roars for no reason" cliché is funnier every time I notice it. Imagine chasing a rabbit around in order to eat it and just screaming at it once in a while for a laugh
The Jurassic Park sequels bring to mind Ian Malcolm's wise words, something to the effect of "they spent so long worrying about whether they could make it happen they never stopped long enough to consider whether they should!"
You read what others had done and you took the next step. You didn't earn the knowledge for yourselves, so you don't take any responsibility for it. You stood on the shoulders of geniuses to accomplish something as fast as you could and before you even knew what you had you patented it and packaged it and slapped it on a plastic lunchbox, and now you're selling it, you want to sell it!
I absolutely hated how they handled the Giganotosaurus. Collin said that it was basically the dinosaur version of The Joker, wanting nothing more to see the world burn. Not only was that rather stupid, the Giga was ultimately not even a villainous creature. it was being depicted as just a regular animal from beginning to end, yet for it's climatic scene in the end was treated as a triumphant moment of victory that should be given to a villain
Which was really stupid cause if anything was ever close to being like the Joker it would be the Indominus from the 1st World movie, it was literally killing things just because it could and even had it's own group of henchmen/goons when it temporarily got Owen's raptors to help it.
Ok, so I totally agree with this statement, as much as I love the movie, I also kinda hate how they handled the giga. That's why I am making a story taking place 65 million years ago, and I'm making the giga a real villain. Kills for sport, hard to kill (he does get beat tho, multiple times.), and villain backstory
@@epicdoge7925 Giga didn't live 65 million years ago.Hell no dinosaurs were live 65 million years ago.All the non avian dinosaurs died 66 million years ago.
The sequence with the Therizinosaur is genuinely tense, it's one of the few moments that's allowed to breathe and actually be scary, so it's a shame almost no time was spent talking about it but the review is long enough as is so I completely understand. Also, while it doesn't really make sense why it would actively search for her, when you realise it's blind it makes perfect sense why it would be super aggressive to anything around it. It wouldn't live very long otherwise.
Honestly you could just see the 'eh? eh? do you see us hitting the 'NOSTALGIA' button?' with this one. Even right down to putting the adults from the OG movie in outfits that suspiciously resemble their outfits from the first film; I'm honestly surprised they didn't somehow manage to dig up Lex and Tim for this one.
Honestly? I'm impressed they didn't dig up Lex and Tim too, and then make them be like "oh yeah, we definitely know how Raptors work, even though our only experience with a Raptor was almost being gored by _two_ of them in a kitchen."
I viewed Alan's response to the teenage girls less like "I guess I'm just stuck in my ways" and more "I'm so Godamn tired of entertaining these stupid people."
This movie made me laugh so hard. Some of the shots actually made me yell out "What the actual F**k?" Woke my husband up a couple times. He couldn't even stay awake long enough for all of the explosions and death.
@@MADMONEYMAN5000 i think thats what they want you to think. No im rather convinced that there is a unholy ritual kickstarted by the Terminator franchise at its center, and with Star Wars, Star Trek and Jurassic Park acting in a triangle-based powermatrix to suck out the power of true enthusiasm from generations of the past to fuel some weird, dark magic sheit. Possibly in a vain attempt to make Melissa McCarthy acutally funny and successfull. And if that aint the true depts of arrogance and misplaced trust, i dont know what is. Or in shorter words: Pure Evil.
Kayla: (having plane modified) "And don't forget the ejector seat." Mechanic: "You sure you just need one?" Kayla: "I work alone. It'll be fine." Mechanic: "Are you sure you don't want it to be, you know... the PILOT'S seat?" Kayla: "No no no, I like a challenge."
Those people at the drive-in could have literally jumped in the Rex's mouth and it wouldn't have eaten them. T-Rex from the first trilogy would have though.
The marketing team behind this movie where geniuses, we knew it was gonna be bad, but yet millions of us still went to the theatres and made this movie a box office hit. There’s something wrong with us people not just Hollywood but us, because in the end Hollywood wins.
i really liked "Jurassic Park" (1993) ... if they ever make any other films, i hope there good ! I feel the same about "MIB" (1997), if they ever get around to making more. . . . i hope their good !
@@somerandolad As a sequel, it's not good. As a movie itself that's supposed to be entertaining? It does the job. Plus lots of the se- I mean awesome Ian Malcolm and quotes for days~
IMO MIB 3 was alright (better than the second film which was just a lazy retcon and rehash of the first movie) and the animated series was pretty enjoyable too. Now, MIB International is definitely typical late 2010s crap sequel schlock
@@somerandolad Each to their own but as a child who watched the original JP countless times when it was released on VHS (having already seen it three times at the cinema), I absolutely loathed The Lost World, awful movie IMO.
This movie gives me rise of Skywalker vibes,because instead of following through on what the previous movie promised the studio thought it would be best to try and please everyone by playing it safe,and ended up not pleasing anyone
At least Rise of Skywalker mostly gave people things they expected from Star Wars like space battles, a couple lightsaber fights, and things that deal with the force. Dominion did very little with the actual dinosaurs.
Absolutely LOVE the opening intro from the movie clip & segway to your intro, even made it layered so it looked liie u were in the tryck, subtle detail 5:07 but very well done❤
Wonderful review, you, sir, made my day thanks to the power of " the hand" ! Just wish I could get proper notifications of new videos to keep up with your good work, but I guess manually checking is the only way to be sure. Damn algorythm is as magically effective as those ridiculous locusts...
Yes, he completely stopped paying attention whenever the locusts were on screen, resulting in his statement in the conclusion about them to have entirely missed the point. A good reviewer indeed, not paying attention to the explanation the film poorly tried shoehorneding in.
Having watched both the theatrical and extended cut, the extended cut makes the movie more coherent, but it still drags on a bit, and doesn't change most of the idiot ball moments.
Ahhh, that’s why that first scene didn’t seem familiar! I thought I had blacked out, I had zero recollection of the beginning dino fight! I didn’t realise there was an extended cut, thanks for inadvertently clearing that up for me!
I was really hopping this movie wouldn't suck. But on the bright side, I now get to watch all my favorite youtubers tear it apart. So, that's something...
I liked the movie. I went into it expecting it to be cheesy. They really should have a cameo for Lex and Tim. That's where I felt like it was really lacking.
There were so many problems with this film that even in your 45 minute video you still couldn't cover them all. First we had the problem of the movie being roughly 7 or 8 different stories all rolled into one. You had Owen, Claire and Maise, living in the wilderness because they were hiding from "People" who might want Maise since she was a clone. Except that doesn't make sense since the only 2 people in Fallen Kingdom who knew she was a clone before Owen and Co. learned it was Maise's Father/Grandfather and the guy whose name wasn't important. Both of them died in the film and there's no reason Owen or the others would be telling people this so them being in hiding doesn't hold up since at no point in Fallen Kingdom do Maise and Dr. Wu meet for him to know that the geneticist had cloned herself. Secondly Dr. Wu had been doing these genetic experiements on the park since the first movie, since it makes no indication that time has not been progressing normally, it is safe to assume that when the films released is accurate to the time period, meaning that Maise is far too young to be a clone of the woman who "really invented cloning" because she would have had to be cloned before the events of Jurassic Park (1993) so thirty years has passed until we get to Fallen Kingdom, meaning that this woman had been working on cloning AFTER the first park failed so there's no point in time that this makes sense unless the cloning process for a human took roughly 18 years to get a human baby and that would still require Maise's mother to start at the time the first park shut down. Meaning the inclusion of all this stuff just muddles everything because it simply could not have happened. Thirdly, the plot about Biosyn creating genetic locust for the purpose of controlling the world's food supply would have a better place in a James Bond film than Jurassic Park because we just spent the last two movies about dinosaurs and how man kind is incapable of living along side them, but now these locusts are the main focus and not at all Blue or Maise. Barring the fact that if this information got out it would cause everyone who worked at Biosyn to be brought up on charges of treason and crimes against humanity, the locusts would not have been allowed to be a problem like this for as long as it was before the national guard was brought in. But this franchise explicitely prohibits humans from killing dinosaurs on screen. Realistic response to some of the dinosaurs roaming around would have been F15's tomahawk missiling them back to extinciton. At minimum you would have roaming bands of poachers or just people not okay with a T-Rex roaming the area hunting down the animals. The film never addresses the actual moral implications of cloned animals in the wild because there is now no longer an argument against poaching endangered species, nothing is endangered anymore. Whoops all the rhinos are gone, bah whatever just clone some more. And since there is some type of genetic memory implied by Rexy and the Giga fighting, one could argue murder isn't as bad since you can just clone the victim. The biggest selling point of this film had been the return of the old cast to meet the new, except they are on screen together, roughly 10 minutes at best and they don't really do much besides, "You were at the old park." "You were at the new park" that's not interesting enough when you have these two different types of people. One group had been there to see the first park collapse and the other was a Raptor trainer and Claire ran the damn thing. A complete missed opportunity to really get some interesting moments with them. But in terms of narrative the film hyped itself up as the consequence of releasing these dinosaurs and how there are so many in the wild, yet that entire plot takes a back seat and when the film ends we just get a cut to them outside Washington about how humans will learn to coexist, despite the massive problems of creatures like this just roaming around. More should have been done. Another complaint was that these new films have absolutely done everything they can to avoid mentioning Lost World and JP3. What could have been small moments of people having things like raptors, stegos, compies, etc. running and you showing Ian's Daughter, Sara, the Kirby family who had been through the islands helping the dinos, helping the people and so on to deal with the problems being faced. Nothing, no getting John Hammonds grand kids to be running a program to help save the dinos. No mentions for any of them at all.
Ultimately, when I left that theater, I was disappointed, it had so much potential as a film to really wrap up these franchise but instead it did nothing with anything they had and now they burned the bridges because any new films will simply have to reboot the franchise since there is nowhere to go with the current stories since there aren't parks, the dinos are just out in the world.
You forgot Lex and Tim would have been better to run the new parks, but we would not get a movie about dinosaurs running amuck. They would be responsible
I am convinced that this movie started as a script for a generic action spy movie that was taken off the unused screenplays pile in the studio and they just added dinosaurs to it. I can the explain the plot and not include any reference to dinosaurs and it would still work. Here I'll go ahead and do it. An army veteran and his wife living in isolation must rescue their kidnapped daughter from an evil corporation. They get in contact with a CIA agent who tells them of a black market operation with the person who smuggled their daughter out of the country. With the help of an old army friend, they disrupt the operation, and learn the location of their daughter, leading to a chase through the city as they try and get to an airstrip to escape. With the help of a pilot who's agreed to help them, they enter the airspace of the corporation's secret hideout and are shot down, crashing into the nearby forest. Meanwhile a group of scientists learn of an infestation of genetically modified locusts created by the evil corporation to cripple the world's food supply. They infiltrate the headquarters of the corporation and gather the evidence they need, inadvertently saving the couple's daughter. The 2 groups eventually meet up and together help take down the corporation. There. I just explained the entire plot from beginning to end without changing anything and without a single dinosaur being mentioned. I didn't even have to try that hard.
Not to mention all the ice areas and 0 ice aged dinos, which would be way easier to clone than what we got. Imagine a Smilodon on screen I would have loved to have seen it 😢
You're a legend don't get me wrong you're absolutely right, but like maybe you have too much time on your hands idk bit long for a TH-cam comment pal, maybe start a blog or something
Why does CloneGirl have an English accent? Part of the plot of the last one was that she had an American accent and she was told to speak in an English one because the farmer from Babe wanted his daughter back and she apparently had that accent.
I love how smart and entertainingly funny Decker's reviews are. Spot on. They should consult him before releasing movies. That'd probably improve the final result a ton. This review is way more entertaining than the actual released movie.
I’ve been gone for a while. Thank you Decker after talking about your own tribulations, I took the time to deal with mine. Thank you to the Patrons for keeping our man alive. Collectively I am definitely in the top 10 for watch time.😂
Malcom and Wu both brought up the "genetically modified theme park monster" bit just last film. So Grant not mentioning it there seems less like it wasn't thought of and more like Grant should probably have been more clear on how much he literally didn't care about that girl's opinion.
High quality review once again from Decker Shado. Good shit, dude! I've seen people call you a rip-off Nostalgia Critic, but I've started watching some of his work lately and he's so cringe. I don't care who came first, you do it better. Your sense of humor is better and you don't make my ears bleed with your voice.
I was wondering what happened to u I was like I started to feel like I didn't see any notification in a while then I checked a month ago Glad 2 see u back big guy an with the Jurassic Park Franchise!
As disappointing a movie as it is, the pyroraptors were just so cool I had to give it some points back lmao. I wish it were in more scenes, it was so cute!
It's funny that it took the movies over 30 years and 5 sequels to actually directly acknowledge Biosyn. I mean Dodgson was in the original (albeit played by a different actor because...reasons) but the company he worked for was never outright mentioned by name and they played no part in the sequels until this one with Dodgson's role from the Lost World novel essentially being given to Peter Ludlow.
I feel like this review was a bit harsh, but i also knew i problably woundn't enjoy Decker's review of this one as much, which i also why it took me a year to finally watch, but oh well guess there always will be the B & C movies reviews
34:02 and this is where the suspense of disbelief shattered for me. It's not a t.rex from the original batch so they can't say it doesn't see them when they're not in view and there is half a dozen people right there. Kill someone. Jurassic Park was a horror movie dressed in an action movie trench coat. This is cardboard placed in different scenes and we're told they're in danger.
Hey, remember that movie Jurassic Park? That was really good, it's probably a good thing that they never made any sequels, they would have just screwed them up. -me from the best time-line.
This film honestly broke my heart, this and Godzilla have always been my childhood franchises and to see this film and feel dread from the writing and pacing, and once again like most situations the original actors are the only ones bringing soul into the sequels.
Am I watching this again and commenting just to push the algorithm? Maybe. Maybe I just need more decker in my life. Keep on keeping on man, we love you
oh goodie! before watching, I just gotta say....As someone who 1: actually liked Jurassic park 5 we're in a mansion now and still thought this was like the turd of a dog that ate glitter; kinda fancy looking but still shit underneath. 2: Likes Decker, and just wants all the best for him, yet knows he is at his most entertaining when he is suffering... I am gonna love the beautifull aneurism he is gonna have from this.
5:54 the real funny bit about the hand there is Parasaurolophus has it's eyes on the side of it's head, so it probably can't even see his hand in the middle there. So it is just a jedi mind trick.
I didn’t hate it, but I was really underwhelmed. I think there are ideas in the film that could’ve worked, but of course that didn’t happen. I will say the only positives I have are that it introduces new species for the public to learn about. And plus it didn’t kill off the original cast so that’s an achievement.
In the original Jurassic Park book InGen has two sources of DNA. The main one is amber but they also grind up dinosaur bones to extract DNA remnants. Most of where BioSyn got their info and data was stolen from the old parks facilities when it was shut down after the first movie.
My biggest problem with this trilogy is that Owen Grady is written as such a majorly generic Gary Stu that it completely lacks the charisma and likability I know Chris Pratt is capable of.
"How exactly do you lose a t-rex?"
When you forget to cherish her
I'll always wonder about... the T-Rex that got away.
A man of culture I see
@@DeckerShado she was too good for you
@@DeckerShado What about the Nun that got away?
Rexy went to grab her BIG Arms!
I still maintain that my idea for a sequel where Blue gets a job as a small town sherriff in the Midwest and everyone speaks and responds to her as if she was a normal human being would have been a more entertaining watch.
Heres hoping they're smart enough to try that next
What am I saying, the Universal execs are giving the idiots at InGen/BioGen a run for their money at this point.
I would watch that movie. Blue is secretly eating all the criminals, the local handyman has a thing for blue and keeps asking her out, everyone is entirely oblivious to the fact she is a velociraptor except for ONE pothead in town who everyone just thinks is paranoid from too much drug use.
@@bZman exactly! I'm glad we are on the same page. And she ends up adopting some plucky street kid and putting them through school while juggling her career.
@@jasonnewell7036 Then in the sequel Blue has to deal with the state troopers or feds coming in and they are led by a T rex who fits right in.
@@bZman yeah, Blue hates having to deal with that jurisdictional crap!
The "thing roars for no reason" cliché is funnier every time I notice it. Imagine chasing a rabbit around in order to eat it and just screaming at it once in a while for a laugh
No, no, no, he's not taming the dinos with his hand, they just know he's Mario, so they're submitting to avoid getting Fire Flowered.
Or they're excited at the prospect of being Yoshi!
@@thatwaffleguy4958 Or scared of being dropped into pits like Yoshi.
The Jurassic Park sequels bring to mind Ian Malcolm's wise words, something to the effect of "they spent so long worrying about whether they could make it happen they never stopped long enough to consider whether they should!"
You read what others had done and you took the next step. You didn't earn the knowledge for yourselves, so you don't take any responsibility for it. You stood on the shoulders of geniuses to accomplish something as fast as you could and before you even knew what you had you patented it and packaged it and slapped it on a plastic lunchbox, and now you're selling it, you want to sell it!
I absolutely hated how they handled the Giganotosaurus. Collin said that it was basically the dinosaur version of The Joker, wanting nothing more to see the world burn. Not only was that rather stupid, the Giga was ultimately not even a villainous creature. it was being depicted as just a regular animal from beginning to end, yet for it's climatic scene in the end was treated as a triumphant moment of victory that should be given to a villain
They needed to fabricate some type of fictitious plot to interest viewers into seeing this shit show.
Which was really stupid cause if anything was ever close to being like the Joker it would be the Indominus from the 1st World movie, it was literally killing things just because it could and even had it's own group of henchmen/goons when it temporarily got Owen's raptors to help it.
Ok, so I totally agree with this statement, as much as I love the movie, I also kinda hate how they handled the giga. That's why I am making a story taking place 65 million years ago, and I'm making the giga a real villain. Kills for sport, hard to kill (he does get beat tho, multiple times.), and villain backstory
They were honestly better off going the "a genetic abomination got lose and starts causing havoc" that would've been more believable.
@@epicdoge7925 Giga didn't live 65 million years ago.Hell no dinosaurs were live 65 million years ago.All the non avian dinosaurs died 66 million years ago.
JP Dominion felt like an OK ScyFy channel original movie.
Deckers reviews are so damn entertaining, he's gotten so good at these things in almost every case I'd rather watch his reviews than the actual movies
same
Yes😂
I feel like Decker just saved me 1 hour and 45 minutes, by watching this 45-minute review instead of watching this 2-and-a-half-hour movie.
The sequence with the Therizinosaur is genuinely tense, it's one of the few moments that's allowed to breathe and actually be scary, so it's a shame almost no time was spent talking about it but the review is long enough as is so I completely understand.
Also, while it doesn't really make sense why it would actively search for her, when you realise it's blind it makes perfect sense why it would be super aggressive to anything around it. It wouldn't live very long otherwise.
Honestly you could just see the 'eh? eh? do you see us hitting the 'NOSTALGIA' button?' with this one. Even right down to putting the adults from the OG movie in outfits that suspiciously resemble their outfits from the first film; I'm honestly surprised they didn't somehow manage to dig up Lex and Tim for this one.
Honestly? I'm impressed they didn't dig up Lex and Tim too, and then make them be like "oh yeah, we definitely know how Raptors work, even though our only experience with a Raptor was almost being gored by _two_ of them in a kitchen."
I viewed Alan's response to the teenage girls less like "I guess I'm just stuck in my ways" and more "I'm so Godamn tired of entertaining these stupid people."
Owen Thunderguns is the first protagonist that I've ever seen who had a plot shield along with their plot armor.
grady is his lasr name
You haven't watched many movies, have you?
He IS the plot 😂
Fun Fact:
Much like in the first film, all the Dilophosaurus in *"JURASSIC WORLD: Dominion"* were portrayed by practical effects instead of CGI.
The Dino in the lumberyard had me thinking of the Flintstones opening credits. I wanted someone to slide down its tail like Fred
Owen needs to tell the dinos to talk to the hand to truly fit into Arnold’s family
Nothing after T2 exists. It's only your imagination.
This movie made me laugh so hard. Some of the shots actually made me yell out "What the actual F**k?" Woke my husband up a couple times. He couldn't even stay awake long enough for all of the explosions and death.
i've kinda fallen out with this franchise so i'm extremely grateful to have your videos, decker!
as have everyone else.
These movies are only made for merchandise purposes.
@@MADMONEYMAN5000 i think thats what they want you to think.
No im rather convinced that there is a unholy ritual kickstarted by the Terminator franchise at its center, and with Star Wars, Star Trek and Jurassic Park acting in a triangle-based powermatrix to suck out the power of true enthusiasm from generations of the past to fuel some weird, dark magic sheit.
Possibly in a vain attempt to make Melissa McCarthy acutally funny and successfull.
And if that aint the true depts of arrogance and misplaced trust, i dont know what is.
Or in shorter words: Pure Evil.
Right there with you, although I'll admit... I did enjoy the first jurassic world. After that, nothing but garbage. It's kind of like Disney starwars.
@@SirJungleBunny
Same here.
Holy fucking shit did these last two movies suck ass.
Kayla: (having plane modified) "And don't forget the ejector seat."
Mechanic: "You sure you just need one?"
Kayla: "I work alone. It'll be fine."
Mechanic: "Are you sure you don't want it to be, you know... the PILOT'S seat?"
Kayla: "No no no, I like a challenge."
My biggest issue would be how a hairless, featherless sauropod could possibly survive fkn snow, there's a reason elephants don't frequent Siberia
This. There's a reason Hammond built the original park where he did.
@@MrStath1986 mmmhmmm, plus they even seemed to follow that logic for the feathered raptor somewhat, like he said hypothermia but still
Maybe they have fur on the inside??🤣🤣
It's definitely a Decker Shado version of justifying an ultra convenient plot by the plot itself by going, *"Naaah, it'll be fine."*
Everyone using the hand to calm down Dinosaurs
Me: What do you think you are, some kind of Jedi, waving your hand like that?
Those people at the drive-in could have literally jumped in the Rex's mouth and it wouldn't have eaten them. T-Rex from the first trilogy would have though.
The marketing team behind this movie where geniuses, we knew it was gonna be bad, but yet millions of us still went to the theatres and made this movie a box office hit. There’s something wrong with us people not just Hollywood but us, because in the end Hollywood wins.
i really liked "Jurassic Park" (1993) ...
if they ever make any other films, i hope there good !
I feel the same about "MIB" (1997), if they ever get around to making more. . . . i hope their good !
They'll never be able to beat it. I'm so glad they never tried.
@@somerandolad As a sequel, it's not good. As a movie itself that's supposed to be entertaining? It does the job. Plus lots of the se- I mean awesome Ian Malcolm and quotes for days~
IMO MIB 3 was alright (better than the second film which was just a lazy retcon and rehash of the first movie) and the animated series was pretty enjoyable too. Now, MIB International is definitely typical late 2010s crap sequel schlock
@@somerandolad Each to their own but as a child who watched the original JP countless times when it was released on VHS (having already seen it three times at the cinema), I absolutely loathed The Lost World, awful movie IMO.
This movie gives me rise of Skywalker vibes,because instead of following through on what the previous movie promised the studio thought it would be best to try and please everyone by playing it safe,and ended up not pleasing anyone
At least Rise of Skywalker mostly gave people things they expected from Star Wars like space battles, a couple lightsaber fights, and things that deal with the force. Dominion did very little with the actual dinosaurs.
@@michaelnally2841 the asylum knock off had more to do with dinosaurs then the actual movie
@@vancemc2643 how does that happen?
@@michaelnally2841 because the knock off understands the audience more then the theatrical movie
@@michaelnally2841 yep
Weilding the power of "The Hand" I'll slap that like button and notification bell
Jurassic Convenience 3: TALK TO THE HAND! Definitely is a more suitable title, considering the focus on Chris Pratt's hands.
Absolutely LOVE the opening intro from the movie clip & segway to your intro, even made it layered so it looked liie u were in the tryck, subtle detail 5:07 but very well done❤
14:45 "Tim certainly does" about killed me like that fence did Tim.
Wonderful review, you, sir, made my day thanks to the power of " the hand" !
Just wish I could get proper notifications of new videos to keep up with your good work, but I guess manually checking is the only way to be sure. Damn algorythm is as magically effective as those ridiculous locusts...
Holy crap, I actually got a notification. Awesome job as always decker.
Awesome! Thank you!
Yes, he completely stopped paying attention whenever the locusts were on screen, resulting in his statement in the conclusion about them to have entirely missed the point. A good reviewer indeed, not paying attention to the explanation the film poorly tried shoehorneding in.
Never watched the extended cut or battle at big rock before, so it's neat seeing some stuff that's new
Having watched both the theatrical and extended cut, the extended cut makes the movie more coherent, but it still drags on a bit, and doesn't change most of the idiot ball moments.
Ahhh, that’s why that first scene didn’t seem familiar! I thought I had blacked out, I had zero recollection of the beginning dino fight! I didn’t realise there was an extended cut, thanks for inadvertently clearing that up for me!
Let's have a beer everytime Decker says: "how conviniennnnt"
I was really hopping this movie wouldn't suck. But on the bright side, I now get to watch all my favorite youtubers tear it apart.
So, that's something...
I liked the movie. I went into it expecting it to be cheesy. They really should have a cameo for Lex and Tim. That's where I felt like it was really lacking.
Man B.D. Wong's character is different in each movie haha
There were so many problems with this film that even in your 45 minute video you still couldn't cover them all.
First we had the problem of the movie being roughly 7 or 8 different stories all rolled into one.
You had Owen, Claire and Maise, living in the wilderness because they were hiding from "People" who might want Maise since she was a clone. Except that doesn't make sense since the only 2 people in Fallen Kingdom who knew she was a clone before Owen and Co. learned it was Maise's Father/Grandfather and the guy whose name wasn't important. Both of them died in the film and there's no reason Owen or the others would be telling people this so them being in hiding doesn't hold up since at no point in Fallen Kingdom do Maise and Dr. Wu meet for him to know that the geneticist had cloned herself.
Secondly Dr. Wu had been doing these genetic experiements on the park since the first movie, since it makes no indication that time has not been progressing normally, it is safe to assume that when the films released is accurate to the time period, meaning that Maise is far too young to be a clone of the woman who "really invented cloning" because she would have had to be cloned before the events of Jurassic Park (1993) so thirty years has passed until we get to Fallen Kingdom, meaning that this woman had been working on cloning AFTER the first park failed so there's no point in time that this makes sense unless the cloning process for a human took roughly 18 years to get a human baby and that would still require Maise's mother to start at the time the first park shut down.
Meaning the inclusion of all this stuff just muddles everything because it simply could not have happened.
Thirdly, the plot about Biosyn creating genetic locust for the purpose of controlling the world's food supply would have a better place in a James Bond film than Jurassic Park because we just spent the last two movies about dinosaurs and how man kind is incapable of living along side them, but now these locusts are the main focus and not at all Blue or Maise.
Barring the fact that if this information got out it would cause everyone who worked at Biosyn to be brought up on charges of treason and crimes against humanity, the locusts would not have been allowed to be a problem like this for as long as it was before the national guard was brought in. But this franchise explicitely prohibits humans from killing dinosaurs on screen.
Realistic response to some of the dinosaurs roaming around would have been F15's tomahawk missiling them back to extinciton. At minimum you would have roaming bands of poachers or just people not okay with a T-Rex roaming the area hunting down the animals.
The film never addresses the actual moral implications of cloned animals in the wild because there is now no longer an argument against poaching endangered species, nothing is endangered anymore. Whoops all the rhinos are gone, bah whatever just clone some more. And since there is some type of genetic memory implied by Rexy and the Giga fighting, one could argue murder isn't as bad since you can just clone the victim.
The biggest selling point of this film had been the return of the old cast to meet the new, except they are on screen together, roughly 10 minutes at best and they don't really do much besides, "You were at the old park." "You were at the new park" that's not interesting enough when you have these two different types of people. One group had been there to see the first park collapse and the other was a Raptor trainer and Claire ran the damn thing.
A complete missed opportunity to really get some interesting moments with them.
But in terms of narrative the film hyped itself up as the consequence of releasing these dinosaurs and how there are so many in the wild, yet that entire plot takes a back seat and when the film ends we just get a cut to them outside Washington about how humans will learn to coexist, despite the massive problems of creatures like this just roaming around. More should have been done.
Another complaint was that these new films have absolutely done everything they can to avoid mentioning Lost World and JP3. What could have been small moments of people having things like raptors, stegos, compies, etc. running and you showing Ian's Daughter, Sara, the Kirby family who had been through the islands helping the dinos, helping the people and so on to deal with the problems being faced. Nothing, no getting John Hammonds grand kids to be running a program to help save the dinos. No mentions for any of them at all.
Ultimately, when I left that theater, I was disappointed, it had so much potential as a film to really wrap up these franchise but instead it did nothing with anything they had and now they burned the bridges because any new films will simply have to reboot the franchise since there is nowhere to go with the current stories since there aren't parks, the dinos are just out in the world.
You forgot Lex and Tim would have been better to run the new parks, but we would not get a movie about dinosaurs running amuck.
They would be responsible
I am convinced that this movie started as a script for a generic action spy movie that was taken off the unused screenplays pile in the studio and they just added dinosaurs to it. I can the explain the plot and not include any reference to dinosaurs and it would still work. Here I'll go ahead and do it.
An army veteran and his wife living in isolation must rescue their kidnapped daughter from an evil corporation. They get in contact with a CIA agent who tells them of a black market operation with the person who smuggled their daughter out of the country. With the help of an old army friend, they disrupt the operation, and learn the location of their daughter, leading to a chase through the city as they try and get to an airstrip to escape. With the help of a pilot who's agreed to help them, they enter the airspace of the corporation's secret hideout and are shot down, crashing into the nearby forest. Meanwhile a group of scientists learn of an infestation of genetically modified locusts created by the evil corporation to cripple the world's food supply. They infiltrate the headquarters of the corporation and gather the evidence they need, inadvertently saving the couple's daughter. The 2 groups eventually meet up and together help take down the corporation.
There. I just explained the entire plot from beginning to end without changing anything and without a single dinosaur being mentioned. I didn't even have to try that hard.
Not to mention all the ice areas and 0 ice aged dinos, which would be way easier to clone than what we got. Imagine a Smilodon on screen I would have loved to have seen it 😢
You're a legend don't get me wrong you're absolutely right, but like maybe you have too much time on your hands idk bit long for a TH-cam comment pal, maybe start a blog or something
The T-Rex can never win on it's own and that pisses me off
Why does CloneGirl have an English accent? Part of the plot of the last one was that she had an American accent and she was told to speak in an English one because the farmer from Babe wanted his daughter back and she apparently had that accent.
I forgot it was the farmer from Babe. And that's because I only know that actor from Babe.
I love how smart and entertainingly funny Decker's reviews are. Spot on. They should consult him before releasing movies. That'd probably improve the final result a ton. This review is way more entertaining than the actual released movie.
You had me at “chase scene with dinosaurs.”
21:15 gotta love how the raptors are happy to risk falling out of a plane at 100mph into the ocean just to chase a laser pointer like a kitty
I literally searched for this yesterday and was sad that it wasn’t there. Now it is long live the hair…and Decker.
I’ve been gone for a while. Thank you Decker after talking about your own tribulations, I took the time to deal with mine. Thank you to the Patrons for keeping our man alive. Collectively I am definitely in the top 10 for watch time.😂
Malcom and Wu both brought up the "genetically modified theme park monster" bit just last film. So Grant not mentioning it there seems less like it wasn't thought of and more like Grant should probably have been more clear on how much he literally didn't care about that girl's opinion.
I loved the bit when Rexy said "And I... am... all the Rexies"
25:15 alan been hitting the gym
Alan!
I will never understand why they decided to turn owen from a raptor trainer to a descendant of hiccup from how to train your dragon
High quality review once again from Decker Shado. Good shit, dude! I've seen people call you a rip-off Nostalgia Critic, but I've started watching some of his work lately and he's so cringe. I don't care who came first, you do it better. Your sense of humor is better and you don't make my ears bleed with your voice.
Mad you didn't even say "Dodgson, we've got Dodgson here!" once.
That's because nobody would care
I love that right at the end we learn deckers a fan of EFAP, I was planning to watch 1 of their vids next😂😂
I was wondering what happened to u I was like I started to feel like I didn't see any notification in a while then I checked a month ago Glad 2 see u back big guy an with the Jurassic Park Franchise!
Really enjoyed this longer review
Dino druidism is an interesting progression tree and Owen put so many points into temporary hypnotism.
I had high hopes for this movie when I saw it theaters but I felt very disappointed. To me the theri was my favorite dino in this movie
As disappointing a movie as it is, the pyroraptors were just so cool I had to give it some points back lmao. I wish it were in more scenes, it was so cute!
I have already watched this review like 10 times and keep watching it. Thank you for giving us the "power of the hand"! Had me laughing so hard.
The ad timing was great. During the Malta chase scene "where are they going?" Cuts to a door dash advert on a bike 🤣🤣🤣
Hi decker loved this review made my night as all your reviews do can’t wait for you to finally get around to doing prey one day keep up the great work
It's funny that it took the movies over 30 years and 5 sequels to actually directly acknowledge Biosyn.
I mean Dodgson was in the original (albeit played by a different actor because...reasons) but the company he worked for was never outright mentioned by name and they played no part in the sequels until this one with Dodgson's role from the Lost World novel essentially being given to Peter Ludlow.
5:09 hey! thats the guy from "The Quarry."
I feel like this review was a bit harsh, but i also knew i problably woundn't enjoy Decker's review of this one as much, which i also why it took me a year to finally watch, but oh well guess there always will be the B & C movies reviews
34:02 and this is where the suspense of disbelief shattered for me. It's not a t.rex from the original batch so they can't say it doesn't see them when they're not in view and there is half a dozen people right there. Kill someone. Jurassic Park was a horror movie dressed in an action movie trench coat. This is cardboard placed in different scenes and we're told they're in danger.
Decker,ur dino knowledge is impressive
'We have demonitized your video due to depicted violence. We interrupt this demonitized video with a video game ad depicting nothing BUT violence.'
Jurassic January extension in Ferocious February :D
My gf tried to leave me, but by the power of THE HAND was her mind dissuaded
Hey, remember that movie Jurassic Park? That was really good, it's probably a good thing that they never made any sequels, they would have just screwed them up. -me from the best time-line.
I cared more about the rivalry between Rexy and the Gigantosaurus than the rest of the plot of this movie.
33:33 I almost spit out my coffee. "Desperately trying to get into an accident!!!!"
Jurassic World: Power of the Hand ✋
Glad your back Decker
A dino review by decker *grabs the popcorn* let's a go!!!!
This film honestly broke my heart, this and Godzilla have always been my childhood franchises and to see this film and feel dread from the writing and pacing, and once again like most situations the original actors are the only ones bringing soul into the sequels.
Am I watching this again and commenting just to push the algorithm? Maybe. Maybe I just need more decker in my life.
Keep on keeping on man, we love you
So we have locusts, fire falling from the sky, and Velociraptor Jesus. I thought Decker already reviewed the Velocipastor?
Holy shit TH-cam actually recommended me your review. First time I've not had to go search it out in months
Nice to see you, Decker.
I watched this in theaters and completely forgot about everything except like two things
oh goodie! before watching, I just gotta say....As someone who
1: actually liked Jurassic park 5 we're in a mansion now and still thought this was like the turd of a dog that ate glitter; kinda fancy looking but still shit underneath.
2: Likes Decker, and just wants all the best for him, yet knows he is at his most entertaining when he is suffering...
I am gonna love the beautifull aneurism he is gonna have from this.
6:09 🎵🎵You’ve got the touch! You’ve got the power! Yeah!🎵🎵
Great video, your one of the funny critics and not one of the annoying ones. Always appreciated that.
Hilarious video good sir. Thanks for always being so entertaining while breaking movies and even peppering in some education.
5:54 the real funny bit about the hand there is Parasaurolophus has it's eyes on the side of it's head, so it probably can't even see his hand in the middle there. So it is just a jedi mind trick.
Lost count how many times Decker exclaimed "HOW CONVENIENT"
I didn’t hate it, but I was really underwhelmed. I think there are ideas in the film that could’ve worked, but of course that didn’t happen. I will say the only positives I have are that it introduces new species for the public to learn about. And plus it didn’t kill off the original cast so that’s an achievement.
A interesting note the line in the beginning "thoes who where left behind where returned home" is a nod to camp cretaceous
Damn a 65 million year time skip is nuts. How am i supposed to have any context for what's happening?
39:51 🦖:"Look I did the thing!!"
🔥🦗🔥: "So?"
Didn't get a notification this time! Great video though atleast I came to see if you uploaded and you did
It feels like they had like three different half baked ideas for a movie and decided to cram them all together.
Enjoyable Bad. All the ideas were so all over the place..I was thinking: Is this a Spy thriller or a dinosaur movie..?
I want to see Decker on EFAP, no clue what they would cover but I want it now.
He was on not too long ago
EFAP #198 - Breaking down and discussing "Prey" with Decker Shado
31:35. That scream was one of only two times I laughed in this movie. The other one was Malcolm saying, “You made a promise….. to a dinosaur?”
Shout out to the longman!!
In the original Jurassic Park book InGen has two sources of DNA. The main one is amber but they also grind up dinosaur bones to extract DNA remnants. Most of where BioSyn got their info and data was stolen from the old parks facilities when it was shut down after the first movie.
Not saying thats a viable way to obtain DNA, but it's the Jurassic Park franchise so you have to give some leeway
I'm kind of surprised that Daniella Pineda is still getting work after she tanked the Cowboy Bebop show.
Most people don’t blame actors or actresses for bad writing. If their acting is poor, that’s another story.
@@odst123451 I wasn't referring to her acting, but that was atrocious as well.
@Steven Matthews Not really, it seems like the actors did as directed. What the writers and producers do is not really in their control.
I like this video. Especially Decker entering the movie via green screen part.
Thanks for your hard work Decker!
I think the amount this movie improves on the previous so much, it validates the entire trilogy.
FK is so insultingly dumb
My biggest problem with this trilogy is that Owen Grady is written as such a majorly generic Gary Stu that it completely lacks the charisma and likability I know Chris Pratt is capable of.