It's funny how the golden child brother in law also left his mom and stayed in Australia for years. The truth is he also can't bear to be close to his crazy mother.
This "family" is a joke- they bare equal responsibility for having allowed her sickening behaviour and now the truth of it comes out; they are all toxic.
Its codependence taken to an extreme level. What I WANTED was for the ENTIRE FAMILY to side with the OP against the MIL. Maybe the whole family hating her would be enough for her to finally realize the $H1T she is. Her husband does not have my respect. He will have my respect after he divorces her.
Oh so the truth comes out: MIL already planned on controlling OP's Husband's love life but was severely disappointed that he chose someone she didn't! Sheesh, the MIL is not only a an oversized brat, she's a control freak.
@@roberthicks5454 if I was her husband, I would of told my brother that he is one sick mommy's boy and since dad is divorcing that old cow he can marry her. and the next time he insults my wife or daughter, he will be very sorry....
Story 1: OP, thank you for sticking up for yourself and your child. You have to stop this harassment or break things off. If you don't the whole family will start to talk down to you and your child.
That YTA is full of shit! OP had been avoiding MIL at all costs and the husband brought her to the new house when she let her guard down. OP had no part in this and was even willing to try and let bygones be bygones, for the family’s sake. But then MIL threw everything back in her face! How can anyone think that she has any part of the blame in this situation?
Definitely the MIL. Remember after the new house visit OP'S husband revealed that MIL invited everybody over because it was an "Apology Dinner" which means she set up even her own son just to take another stab at OP. MIL is THAT MUCH of a control freak that even if her own family doesn't adhere to her grand design they they are in her crosshairs as well. Remember what she said to her own son after he told her off: "I've got another one anyway" And what did HE start doing soon? Start harassing OP and her Husband to "make it right." It's disgusting
What exactly is OP supposed to apologize for? I'm sorry for not accepting the nasty things you have constantly said to me. Pleeese. That MIL wouldn't accept ANY apology OP gave.
In story 1, OP has nothing to be ashamed of, she didn't start the family breakup, and that's all on MIL's shoulders. I cannot believe the audacity that MIL told OP's husband he should have married the girl she wanted him to marry, and instead, he settled for mediocrity. And other family members feel the same way?! FIL should back up his demands with MIL and tell her if she won't apologize and stop her abuse, he will divorce her. For story 2 there wasn't much else the OP could do other than leave with the cat. She made the right choice. In story 3, the OP should tell his wife to take a leave of absence from her job for a couple of months and see how she really likes becoming a SAHM. And he should make sure she does all the housework and cooking.
OP's husband, who knows that mil hates his wife, lied to op and set her up. So cruel and humiliating. If it was me in op's place I wouldn't be able to look at dh the same way. He played with fire and op got burned.
Give him a little while in the hot-seat! He and his wife will soon be fleeing back across the globe to get away from her, when her ire is turned on them!
Op mother-in-law doesn’t like the fact another woman is getting the attention of her son and if I was op I would think twice about staying in this marriage story1
Cat story. Get it microchipped, that's the strongest proof of ownership. The average amount is $45 US. MAKE SURE IT'S REGISTERED. Vets don't always tell you that you have to contact the company and give your info to the microchip company, GIVING THE INFO TO THE VET DOES NOT GUARANTEE IT WILL BE ON THE CHIP.
Story 1 - NTA - How appalling that the MIL put down her granddaughter let alone in front of everyone! I would have lost it as well. Did MIL lie to your husband? this definitely was NOT an apology dinner and for some reason I doubt it was ever meant to be. Go NC and put this in the past. Toxic and drama filled individuals are black balled!
Story 1, NTA. She's not a mother she's an egg donner and she's not just toxic she's a narcissist. Everything she said, her attitude and her actions all show that she's a narcissist. Op hon, you didn't break your husband's family the narcissist egg donor did because she hasn't learned that the world doesn't revolve around her.
S1..opinion 3..if the story was read correctly.. he told his wife he had a surprise for her.. how could she possibly have known he would take her to the parents house?
Jeez! Is there a school out there where mothers can learn how to be a Monster inlaw? I am so blessed that I have an amazing mother in law. In 27 years, we have never even argued. There was an issue once when my twins were 4, I told my daughter "no" about something, and MIL started to override my decision. I brought her into the kitchen, reminded her who their mom was, and she apologized and NEVER did it again.
The MIL sounds like the kind of person who enjoys harassing people as a show of authority. As the FIL said, this was going to happen eventually, it will explode and crumble, and MIL will pick the next victim and ruin that relationship, until she is alone.
If I were the OP with the toxic MIL, I'd send a warning to the SIL to watch her back. She's next on the MIL's hit list because she wants her sons to herself.
1st story, The straw that broke the camels back, she brought your daughter into the argument, stay away from that witch, she broke the family not you, his brother will soon find out soon enough what his mother like.
MIL needed to realize just because you have kids doesn't mean you get to choose their whole life. Including who they marry and have kids with. I'm actually shocked that so many people are on MIL's side after what she said to Op and her baby.
I just do NOT get MIL’s like this. I absolutely adore my DIL and would give my life for her as much as my own sons and daughter. Women like this simply baffle me, there is so much joy and love left on the table from not welcoming your children’s spouses into your heart!!!
How can someone call themselves a mother and a grandmother and say such horrible stuff about there children being useless and there grandkids being ugly. What a vile women.
Story about wife who wants to become a Stay At Home Mom, ask her to try it and see if she really wants to do that. She can take some time off and see if it works. That way she will still have her job if she doesn't like it. Or maybe go part time for a while.just work it out so she can try it.
That's what I thought. Though, the fact that OP has been doing all the house stuff on top of a full time job proves she doesn't mind dumping her share on him. I give her a month before she starts demanding he "do his share" and load some of that work back onto him.
Story 3- When I was in my 20's, a hundred years ago, I lived up north with the best roommate I ever had, He couldn't cook, he could hardly boil water, which I'm pretty at, but he was a bugger to clean, which I suck at, so that is how we divided our labour, He cleaned while I did the cooking , it worked great. Now that I'm in my 70's, I wish he was my roommate again, because I'm still a pretty good cook but I still suck at cleaning. Back to my 20's, we mostly did our own laundry, we just put it in large bags and dropped it off to the ladies who ran the laundromat, than pick it up that evening or the next day, the laundry always came back clean, folded and neatly put back in the bag, for 2 young bachelor back in the early 1970's it was perfect.
Story 2: OP that cat is yours. If you have been taking care of the cat, you no doubt have receipts. Those have more weight rather than anything else in the long run.
Have the wife trial being a stay at home mom. Try it three days a week. The whole weekend plus Monday. I guarantee you she will lose that notion fast. She needs to keep working. How was she after each baby was born, while she was home on maternity leave by herself while you worked? If house was a disaster, then you have your answer. Oh yeah make sure you are not at home for couple of hours. She needs to do this on her own. There are lots of women out there that are not cut out to be stay at home mothers. At the very least you have a messy house, at the extreme end, you have a woman that snaps and abuses or kill her children. Men say a woman's place is child rearing. They say that because it is hard work caring for a child, and they simply don't want to do it. 😊😊
6:46 It's not because of OP her husband won't speak to family members. It's because of his own mother's words and actions. Why do people take on guilt over someone else's messes? Did OP deliberately taunt MIL and cause MIL to rant at her? If OP did, then fair enough. But if OP didn't, then this is all on MIL. The definition of stress is to be held accountable for events beyond your control.
2nd story. NTA, She was the one that came and approached you dictating that the cat was hers, and walked away with no discussion. She started the confrontation, threw out claims she was in no position to given you were the primary care giver, her parents paying one vet bill does not give her ownership. Get all the expenses for the cat, receipts vet bills etc, pay her parents back for the one bill they paid so she can not attempt to use that as a means to claim your kitty. Get the pet chipped and establish the actual ownership. And then When you get a place go and take your kitty with you.
Story 1 = The person who commented on the story with YTA is the TA and a huge moron. OP felt guilty about causing a rift in her husband's family. She should have gone scorched earth on her MIL. She let her FIL do that for her. Glad that she (MIL) finally revealed her true reasons for hating OP. MIL needs to get her life ripped apart.
OP also has a husband problem. 'My husband has told me to leave it alone and stay out of it.' Well, jackass, maybe she wouldn't have gotten involved in anything if YOU had left it alone and not tricked your wife into going to your parents' house. I'm sorry but this post infuriates me.
Story one, His wife is now his family. MIL is now part of the extended family. It's the MIL's decision whether or not, she wants to try to be family with her DIL.
SAHM... so the opinions are saying that the extra money op will make by subjecting himslef to more strees, should be used to pay someone to clean the house while the wife is at home? what is the point of it then?
I don't get why she has to quit her job?? If he is working longer hours can't she just pick up the slack?? The guy is doing everything, I wouldn't trust her to be a SAHM either.
Its situations like this that if I find my soul mate I'll have one firm rule: If they don't like me for whatever reason we can't be together. I would rather them have their family intact then divide their whole family and them possibly lose the support of their own family.
S2 NTA the cat is yours and he vet bills are in your name, you've don't have he care and upkeep. While she's gone get a the cat chipped and put her somewhere ASAP.
Op needs to grow a spine of steel .demand husband to go nc with mil and bil or divorce. The child should be protected from them at all times. The best thing to do would be to move far away and only allow fil and sil to come visit.
The last story: If she’s so convinced she would love being a SAHM, she could ask for one month of unpaid leave from her job so she knows what it would be like to live on one salary whilst she trials being a SAHM. If she doesn’t like it, she can then go back to her job and they can try some of the options others mentioned (hire a cleaner & put youngest into daycare, plus after school care for the older child)
No one can blame someone who's been taking 7+ years of verbal abuse. But you should probably just be happy with husband and daughter and future kids. Father in law should be a part of his granddaughter. But after that, no one else.
Agree, the wife wont handle to be a stay at home mom. You should get a cleaner even if you dont take the promoting bc your wife take advantage of you doing all the housework already, and it will get much worse when she have to work 24/7. Your job is on the line if you dont get a cleaner/ part time nanny. Your wife will be taking even more advantage of you after the birth.
I was married twice and their mothers hated me for know good reason. My eldest son was beaten up by his dad for years and child services said they could not do anything unless Tyler told them what he did to him. Tyler said Bob threatened to kill him if he said anything 5 years old until he turned 13. Bob's dead now and reaping what he sowed on earth. Both men were bums and never worked. Bob 6/4. I'm 4/11 I was beat up quite a bit. These men played victim especially my second husband who 6/3. Now his mom and Bob's mom are reaping what they sowed. I love all 3 of my daughter in laws and we are close Thank GOD in heaven.
S3 NTA your wife needs therapy NOW she needs to pull her weight at home for her CHILDREN. Take the promotion at work whether she does or doesn't stay working. She has issues with reality. You'll need the extra income
Lenny needs to stop forcing you and your mother-in-law to get along. Sounds like you’re not the issue. She is at least father-in-law and sister-in-law understand not to meddle in OP business.
I wouldn't be down for this. I'd cave in my FILs face in if he tries. Hell, I don't think he would respect me if he thought it wasn't true, we have a common goal, his daughter.
Story 3 - NTA - OP has NO clue what a real SAHM does since you have been working FT and tending to cooking,cleaning & laundry! All she does is go grocery shopping? Yeah, switch rolls for a few weeks prior to her quitting. Seriously doubt she can handle it but if she really steps up … then so be it.
First story she never wants her son to be happy. She has to let him go. Or maybe a OP should let him go. They have been enabling the mother-in-law for years and it’s gotta stop. You can’t be rude to people and expect them to just take it all the time..
Hey, the roommate said was her cat. Of course, the non-cat owner should ask the owner what plans she made for the care of Her cat. The roommate always left the responsibility of the cat to OP. If once wasn’t OP’s cat then roommate should have not expect OP to take care of cat and provide food etc for the cat. OP loves the cat she was going to take care of the it. OP was just demonstrated that just saying the cat is your property does just stop there.
Story 2 Your room mate is determined to remove your cat because she doesn't take care of the animal and she doing out of spite she going to remove your cat when she going home I would say you are not the legal owner, just because you pay one vets bill doesn't mean she owns the cat ,and you should not leave the cat tell her to take you to the small claims court
Story #3 maybe wife could be a part time worker. She would have to do things she hates. I don't think quiting fully is a good idea. But it's not like part time wouldn't give her a taste of stay at home. She might realize she doesn't like her life wrapped up around the housework.
Last story. Why do people make staying at home , raising children & housework so hard. I raised 5 & it’s not hard at all. My last baby was 9 & 10 years younger than than his brother @ sister & younger than the others . Give me a break. Ridiculous. It’s not hard at all
For story three I think you’re not a jerk but also kind of rude. I mean if she wants to do this and you guys are able to probably save you guys a little extra money and in the long run it’s up to you if you want to take the promotion or not but makes it sound like you really didn’t want to take the promotion because you don’t wanna work so long hours but you’re blaming it on your wife for you not being able to because you don’t trust her to do what she needs to do as a mother at home, I think there is a lack of trust there
MIL is blaming Leni's wife for Leni falling in love with her instead of the woman MIL picked out for him? Why doesn’t MIL blame Leni instead? Oh, because that would be logical and she does not want to blame Leni. That seems to be the MIL's whole excuse for her years of abuse of OP. I like the FIL. At least he is logical.
Stay at home mom are BS. I was stay at home dad for 2y. I don't know why women are complaining. Or they are lazy or they don't know how to spread everything in a day. I was cooking, cleaning basically doing everything and I had plenty of time to do nothing. Even my girlfriend friends were shocked when I did play a recording from home cameras.
First of all your wife has been taking advantage of you for years. Second of all any woman that tells you being a stay-at-home mom unless you have a bunch of kids under under five. And is cleaning mansion. Being a stay-at-home mom was the easiest job I ever had in my life. I had 8 hours a day with just me and the kids. When the kids snapped I did things. When the kids were awake I did things. You know why women can't handle it today. Cuz they will put their freaking phone down. Cuz I can't turn off the tv.
No, mother in law could have just not say anything. But she did and didn't let up. And no, you didn't know he was taking you to the parents house. Just because you knew of the parents house, didn't mean you knew he was taking you there. People who are complaining that you had ANYTHING to do with this issue, are out of their minds. Mother in law was the one who had such negative attitude. And you stayed quiet the whole night until she spoke of your daughter. How can a grandmother talk about a grandkid in such a way?
OP you have not broken your husbands family the mother-in-law did that by keeping up on assaulting you and attacking you, his mother was bashing you at the apology dinner and brought up his ex who just got married if he wanted to marry her, he would have ,mothers need to stay of their kids, love lives, unless they are in danger.
Me personally I was divorced the wife because she's weak and pathetic she gets bullied defends herself and she feels bad for defending herself I cannot have somebody that weak in my corner.. lucky for me my mom hates me
MIL from hell story: ETA : hubby for ignoring his moms proven track record, FIL for staying with and enabling MIL to be the center of the household like a tyrant, siblings- continual enablement of MIL toxic attitude towards their other family members (Op) and OP for physical violence, not owning her own actions and trying to act like a passenger to her own life (op is kinda an ah to herself for staying in such disfunction. cat story: its a known tactic for those that wosh to control talk quickly, junp subjects, its all about control and momentum. 'i hurl enough at the wall, they cant respond to everything before i can cut them off (interrupt) and challenge. dont play stupid games woth stupid ppl. they will bring you down to their lvl where they will win. just chip the cat, have your receipts and be done with the roomie.
![เจ็บที่ยังฮัก - ม่อน วรวิทย์ [ Official Mv ] จอนนี่มิวสิค](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/KALIGSRSjFs/mqdefault.jpg)
It's funny how the golden child brother in law also left his mom and stayed in Australia for years. The truth is he also can't bear to be close to his crazy mother.
The family has been rug sweeping mils behavior for years. About time her toxicity saw the light to day.
This "family" is a joke- they bare equal responsibility for having allowed her sickening behaviour and now the truth of it comes out; they are all toxic.
Its codependence taken to an extreme level. What I WANTED was for the ENTIRE FAMILY to side with the OP against the MIL. Maybe the whole family hating her would be enough for her to finally realize the $H1T she is.
Her husband does not have my respect. He will have my respect after he divorces her.
The YTA is probably the golden child BIL.
Oh so the truth comes out: MIL already planned on controlling OP's Husband's love life but was severely disappointed that he chose someone she didn't! Sheesh, the MIL is not only a an oversized brat, she's a control freak.
Shades of Lady Catherine De Bourgh
What is worse for me is the brother. He is mad at op's husband for not allowing his mommie to run his (husbands) life
@@roberthicks5454 if I was her husband, I would of told my brother that he is one sick mommy's boy and since dad is divorcing that old cow he can marry her. and the next time he insults my wife or daughter, he will be very sorry....
Story 1: OP, thank you for sticking up for yourself and your child. You have to stop this harassment or break things off. If you don't the whole family will start to talk down to you and your child.
That YTA is full of shit! OP had been avoiding MIL at all costs and the husband brought her to the new house when she let her guard down. OP had no part in this and was even willing to try and let bygones be bygones, for the family’s sake. But then MIL threw everything back in her face! How can anyone think that she has any part of the blame in this situation?
I was wondering if it was one of the siblings
@@theresaderse-nosacek5236it’s the mil I bet
Agreed
Definitely the MIL. Remember after the new house visit OP'S husband revealed that MIL invited everybody over because it was an "Apology Dinner" which means she set up even her own son just to take another stab at OP. MIL is THAT MUCH of a control freak that even if her own family doesn't adhere to her grand design they they are in her crosshairs as well. Remember what she said to her own son after he told her off: "I've got another one anyway" And what did HE start doing soon? Start harassing OP and her Husband to "make it right." It's disgusting
Ditto!
What exactly is OP supposed to apologize for?
I'm sorry for not accepting the nasty things you have constantly said to me.
Pleeese. That MIL wouldn't accept ANY apology OP gave.
The husband should have been telling his mother to stop this behavior. Not his wife!
Story 1: MIL ID'd in the YTA comment! Seriously, it's either her or the BIL.
Thats what I was thinking.
The YTA commenter is most likely mommy's fav Bil.
Exactly what I was thinking
Yup
Or some other Mommas Boy.
Yep
Probably MIL's lover
MIL was our of order.
Well done for standing your ground.
Anybody talks bad about my children they would live to regret it.
In story 1, OP has nothing to be ashamed of, she didn't start the family breakup, and that's all on MIL's shoulders. I cannot believe the audacity that MIL told OP's husband he should have married the girl she wanted him to marry, and instead, he settled for mediocrity. And other family members feel the same way?! FIL should back up his demands with MIL and tell her if she won't apologize and stop her abuse, he will divorce her.
For story 2 there wasn't much else the OP could do other than leave with the cat. She made the right choice.
In story 3, the OP should tell his wife to take a leave of absence from her job for a couple of months and see how she really likes becoming a SAHM. And he should make sure she does all the housework and cooking.
That YTA commentator in the MIL story was likely either the MIL herself or one of those relatives who support her.
OP's husband, who knows that mil hates his wife, lied to op and set her up. So cruel and humiliating. If it was me in op's place I wouldn't be able to look at dh the same way. He played with fire and op got burned.
I lay all the blame on the op's husband, he new what his mother was like
We sure brother in-law isn't sleeping with his mommy, because he's giving off that vibe. They are just pathetic.
I agree, repay the parents.
BIL may say mom's wonderful, but he moved to another continent.
Give him a little while in the hot-seat! He and his wife will soon be fleeing back across the globe to get away from her, when her ire is turned on them!
@@juliemcgugan1244
Had the impression BIL's wife influenced the move early on.
Mother: I wish you'd made better choices.
Son: Yeah well when I was little I sued to wish you weren't my mother but here we are.
Op mother-in-law doesn’t like the fact another woman is getting the attention of her son and if I was op I would think twice about staying in this marriage story1
Why the husband allows his mother to talk to his wife like that! Everyone should have been pissed his mother had such anger.
That YTA comment at the end of the first story makes me suspect that the writer is an abusive MIL herself.
Agree
Cat story. Get it microchipped, that's the strongest proof of ownership. The average amount is $45 US. MAKE SURE IT'S REGISTERED. Vets don't always tell you that you have to contact the company and give your info to the microchip company, GIVING THE INFO TO THE VET DOES NOT GUARANTEE IT WILL BE ON THE CHIP.
Story 1 - NTA - How appalling that the MIL put down her granddaughter let alone in front of everyone! I would have lost it as well. Did MIL lie to your husband? this definitely was NOT an apology dinner and for some reason I doubt it was ever meant to be. Go NC and put this in the past. Toxic and drama filled individuals are black balled!
Story 1, NTA. She's not a mother she's an egg donner and she's not just toxic she's a narcissist. Everything she said, her attitude and her actions all show that she's a narcissist. Op hon, you didn't break your husband's family the narcissist egg donor did because she hasn't learned that the world doesn't revolve around her.
S1..opinion 3..if the story was read correctly.. he told his wife he had a surprise for her.. how could she possibly have known he would take her to the parents house?
That’s BIL, I bet! 😆
Jeez! Is there a school out there where mothers can learn how to be a Monster inlaw? I am so blessed that I have an amazing mother in law. In 27 years, we have never even argued. There was an issue once when my twins were 4, I told my daughter "no" about something, and MIL started to override my decision. I brought her into the kitchen, reminded her who their mom was, and she apologized and NEVER did it again.
The MIL sounds like the kind of person who enjoys harassing people as a show of authority. As the FIL said, this was going to happen eventually, it will explode and crumble, and MIL will pick the next victim and ruin that relationship, until she is alone.
That MIL deserves to be alone.
If I were the OP with the toxic MIL, I'd send a warning to the SIL to watch her back. She's next on the MIL's hit list because she wants her sons to herself.
MIL won’t ever give up on her ‘Sonsbands.’
Honey THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT
1st story, The straw that broke the camels back, she brought your daughter into the argument, stay away from that witch, she broke the family not you, his brother will soon find out soon enough what his mother like.
MIL needed to realize just because you have kids doesn't mean you get to choose their whole life. Including who they marry and have kids with. I'm actually shocked that so many people are on MIL's side after what she said to Op and her baby.
Wished OP had recorded some interactions with MIL. As voice & video. So no one can refute it.
I just do NOT get MIL’s like this. I absolutely adore my DIL and would give my life for her as much as my own sons and daughter. Women like this simply baffle me, there is so much joy and love left on the table from not welcoming your children’s spouses into your heart!!!
Everyone should go no contact with mil and bil. Thats crazy
The family was already broken
The yta in story 1 is def one of those family members who seems to be a pos
How can someone call themselves a mother and a grandmother and say such horrible stuff about there children being useless and there grandkids being ugly. What a vile women.
Yep. A very cruel woman.
1. OP needs to go no contact with his family. 2. OP needs to go to court over the cat if needed.
Story about wife who wants to become a Stay At Home Mom, ask her to try it and see if she really wants to do that. She can take some time off and see if it works. That way she will still have her job if she doesn't like it. Or maybe go part time for a while.just work it out so she can try it.
That's what I thought. Though, the fact that OP has been doing all the house stuff on top of a full time job proves she doesn't mind dumping her share on him. I give her a month before she starts demanding he "do his share" and load some of that work back onto him.
Really enjoy your stories & voice. Narrating is clear with no distracting background
music!!! Thank you much!!!
Therapy cat? Um.. no.
Grasping at straws!
Are you kidding me!! That commentor who called OP an ahole because she should have known is a ginormous AH. NTA OP.
Re: MIL “You can’t choose who your MIL is going to be.” Yes, yes you can. I did, and I still don’t regret the choice.
Story 3- When I was in my 20's, a hundred years ago, I lived up north with the best roommate I ever had, He couldn't cook, he could hardly boil water, which I'm pretty at, but he was a bugger to clean, which I suck at, so that is how we divided our labour, He cleaned while I did the cooking , it worked great. Now that I'm in my 70's, I wish he was my roommate again, because I'm still a pretty good cook but I still suck at cleaning. Back to my 20's, we mostly did our own laundry, we just put it in large bags and dropped it off to the ladies who ran the laundromat, than pick it up that evening or the next day, the laundry always came back clean, folded and neatly put back in the bag, for 2 young bachelor back in the early 1970's it was perfect.
Last story- being a SAHM suuuuuucks. You end up spending all your time on TH-cam😂😭
Story 2: OP that cat is yours. If you have been taking care of the cat, you no doubt have receipts. Those have more weight rather than anything else in the long run.
I don't understand how people put up with treatment like this everyday
How many of the daughter in laws in these stories will become just like the mother in laws they suffer under?
Have the wife trial being a stay at home mom. Try it three days a week. The whole weekend plus Monday. I guarantee you she will lose that notion fast. She needs to keep working. How was she after each baby was born, while she was home on maternity leave by herself while you worked? If house was a disaster, then you have your answer. Oh yeah make sure you are not at home for couple of hours. She needs to do this on her own. There are lots of women out there that are not cut out to be stay at home mothers. At the very least you have a messy house, at the extreme end, you have a woman that snaps and abuses or kill her children. Men say a woman's place is child rearing. They say that because it is hard work caring for a child, and they simply don't want to do it. 😊😊
6:46 It's not because of OP her husband won't speak to family members. It's because of his own mother's words and actions. Why do people take on guilt over someone else's messes? Did OP deliberately taunt MIL and cause MIL to rant at her? If OP did, then fair enough. But if OP didn't, then this is all on MIL. The definition of stress is to be held accountable for events beyond your control.
that yta person is ta for victim blaming
2nd story. NTA, She was the one that came and approached you dictating that the cat was hers, and walked away with no discussion. She started the confrontation, threw out claims she was in no position to given you were the primary care giver, her parents paying one vet bill does not give her ownership. Get all the expenses for the cat, receipts vet bills etc, pay her parents back for the one bill they paid so she can not attempt to use that as a means to claim your kitty. Get the pet chipped and establish the actual ownership. And then When you get a place go and take your kitty with you.
Story 1 = The person who commented on the story with YTA is the TA and a huge moron. OP felt guilty about causing a rift in her husband's family. She should have gone scorched earth on her MIL. She let her FIL do that for her. Glad that she (MIL) finally revealed her true reasons for hating OP. MIL needs to get her life ripped apart.
OP also has a husband problem. 'My husband has told me to leave it alone and stay out of it.' Well, jackass, maybe she wouldn't have gotten involved in anything if YOU had left it alone and not tricked your wife into going to your parents' house. I'm sorry but this post infuriates me.
S1 nta, mil isn't stubborn, it's a learned behavior, decades of appeasement have created her.
Story one, His wife is now his family. MIL is now part of the extended family. It's the MIL's decision whether or not, she wants to try to be family with her DIL.
Have her stay at her job, and hire a cleaning person, who will do laundry. Make crock pot meals, or weekend cooking for the week.
SAHM... so the opinions are saying that the extra money op will make by subjecting himslef to more strees, should be used to pay someone to clean the house while the wife is at home? what is the point of it then?
I don't get why she has to quit her job?? If he is working longer hours can't she just pick up the slack?? The guy is doing everything, I wouldn't trust her to be a SAHM either.
19:48
The person who suggested hiring a cleaner was saying that the wife should remain working.
Its situations like this that if I find my soul mate I'll have one firm rule: If they don't like me for whatever reason we can't be together.
I would rather them have their family intact then divide their whole family and them possibly lose the support of their own family.
A family like that eventually implodes on itself, no outside help needed.
@@sun_chariot6141 another reason: I don't want to be dragged down into that volatile situation
Hope you have a set of car keys!!!😊 he's not loggerheads because of you it is because of them
S2 NTA the cat is yours and he vet bills are in your name, you've don't have he care and upkeep. While she's gone get a the cat chipped and put her somewhere ASAP.
Op needs to grow a spine of steel .demand husband to go nc with mil and bil or divorce. The child should be protected from them at all times. The best thing to do would be to move far away and only allow fil and sil to come visit.
Insult my child and you'd best have a good dental plan.
The last story: If she’s so convinced she would love being a SAHM, she could ask for one month of unpaid leave from her job so she knows what it would be like to live on one salary whilst she trials being a SAHM. If she doesn’t like it, she can then go back to her job and they can try some of the options others mentioned (hire a cleaner & put youngest into daycare, plus after school care for the older child)
No one can blame someone who's been taking 7+ years of verbal abuse. But you should probably just be happy with husband and daughter and future kids. Father in law should be a part of his granddaughter. But after that, no one else.
My MIL is dead!!!
some MILs are just peaked in high school mean girls
Agree, the wife wont handle to be a stay at home mom. You should get a cleaner even if you dont take the promoting bc your wife take advantage of you doing all the housework already, and it will get much worse when she have to work 24/7. Your job is on the line if you dont get a cleaner/ part time nanny. Your wife will be taking even more advantage of you after the birth.
I was married twice and their mothers hated me for know good reason. My eldest son was beaten up by his dad for years and child services said they could not do anything unless Tyler told them what he did to him. Tyler said Bob threatened to kill him if he said anything 5 years old until he turned 13. Bob's dead now and reaping what he sowed on earth. Both men were bums and never worked. Bob 6/4. I'm 4/11 I was beat up quite a bit. These men played victim especially my second husband who 6/3. Now his mom and Bob's mom are reaping what they sowed. I love all 3 of my daughter in laws and we are close Thank GOD in heaven.
Story 1- opinion 3 must be the MIL or family member who’s on MIL side
S3 NTA your wife needs therapy NOW she needs to pull her weight at home for her CHILDREN. Take the promotion at work whether she does or doesn't stay working. She has issues with reality. You'll need the extra income
If it’s her therapy cat, she needs to take care of it and she’s not the cat would be better off with OP one vet Bill does not make her the owner.
Lenny needs to stop forcing you and your mother-in-law to get along. Sounds like you’re not the issue. She is at least father-in-law and sister-in-law understand not to meddle in OP business.
re abusive inlaws, so nice to know you are guilty and vile etc just for existing
I wouldn't be down for this. I'd cave in my FILs face in if he tries. Hell, I don't think he would respect me if he thought it wasn't true, we have a common goal, his daughter.
Last story, the wife should take a leave of absence from her job and try out sahm and see what it truly would be like.
Story #2 I don't think it was wrong to ask. It was to see how she would behave with the cat. If she took the cat, would the cat be taken care of.
The wife in the third story isn’t seeing any dollar signs.
Story 3 - NTA - OP has NO clue what a real SAHM does since you have been working FT and tending to cooking,cleaning & laundry! All she does is go grocery shopping? Yeah, switch rolls for a few weeks prior to her quitting. Seriously doubt she can handle it but if she really steps up … then so be it.
First story she never wants her son to be happy. She has to let him go. Or maybe a OP should let him go. They have been enabling the mother-in-law for years and it’s gotta stop. You can’t be rude to people and expect them to just take it all the time..
Hey, the roommate said was her cat.
Of course, the non-cat owner should ask the owner what plans she made for the care of Her cat.
The roommate always left the responsibility of the cat to OP.
If once wasn’t OP’s cat then roommate should have not expect OP to take care of cat and provide food etc for the cat.
OP loves the cat she was going to take care of the it.
OP was just demonstrated that just saying the cat is your property does just stop there.
Are we ignoring the fact that her husband tricked her into going to a dinner with a woman she clearly was NC with
💚
Story 2
Your room mate is determined to remove your cat because she doesn't take care of the animal and she doing out of spite she going to remove your cat when she going home I would say you are not the legal owner, just because you pay one vets bill doesn't mean she owns the cat ,and you should not leave the cat tell her to take you to the small claims court
OP didn't break the family MIL did, she's a horrible person
Story #3 maybe wife could be a part time worker. She would have to do things she hates. I don't think quiting fully is a good idea. But it's not like part time wouldn't give her a taste of stay at home. She might realize she doesn't like her life wrapped up around the housework.
She grabbed her niece and went home?? What about her own child??
Last story. Why do people make staying at home , raising children & housework so hard. I raised 5 & it’s not hard at all. My last baby was 9 & 10 years younger than than his brother @ sister & younger than the others . Give me a break. Ridiculous. It’s not hard at all
For story three I think you’re not a jerk but also kind of rude. I mean if she wants to do this and you guys are able to probably save you guys a little extra money and in the long run it’s up to you if you want to take the promotion or not but makes it sound like you really didn’t want to take the promotion because you don’t wanna work so long hours but you’re blaming it on your wife for you not being able to because you don’t trust her to do what she needs to do as a mother at home, I think there is a lack of trust there
MIL is blaming Leni's wife for Leni falling in love with her instead of the woman MIL picked out for him? Why doesn’t MIL blame Leni instead? Oh, because that would be logical and she does not want to blame Leni.
That seems to be the MIL's whole excuse for her years of abuse of OP.
I like the FIL. At least he is logical.
Stay at home mom are BS. I was stay at home dad for 2y. I don't know why women are complaining. Or they are lazy or they don't know how to spread everything in a day. I was cooking, cleaning basically doing everything and I had plenty of time to do nothing. Even my girlfriend friends were shocked when I did play a recording from home cameras.
What updates? Wanted to know if FIL divorced the witch
First of all your wife has been taking advantage of you for years. Second of all any woman that tells you being a stay-at-home mom unless you have a bunch of kids under under five. And is cleaning mansion. Being a stay-at-home mom was the easiest job I ever had in my life. I had 8 hours a day with just me and the kids. When the kids snapped I did things. When the kids were awake I did things. You know why women can't handle it today. Cuz they will put their freaking phone down. Cuz I can't turn off the tv.
Stop blaming the husband . He said he was sorry and he was manipulated.
Family relationships are mostly overrated.
No, mother in law could have just not say anything. But she did and didn't let up. And no, you didn't know he was taking you to the parents house. Just because you knew of the parents house, didn't mean you knew he was taking you there. People who are complaining that you had ANYTHING to do with this issue, are out of their minds. Mother in law was the one who had such negative attitude. And you stayed quiet the whole night until she spoke of your daughter. How can a grandmother talk about a grandkid in such a way?
OP you have not broken your husbands family the mother-in-law did that by keeping up on assaulting you and attacking you, his mother was bashing you at the apology dinner and brought up his ex who just got married if he wanted to marry her, he would have ,mothers need to stay of their kids, love lives, unless they are in danger.
Me personally I was divorced the wife because she's weak and pathetic she gets bullied defends herself and she feels bad for defending herself I cannot have somebody that weak in my corner.. lucky for me my mom hates me
MIL from hell story: ETA : hubby for ignoring his moms proven track record, FIL for staying with and enabling MIL to be the center of the household like a tyrant, siblings- continual enablement of MIL toxic attitude towards their other family members (Op) and OP for physical violence, not owning her own actions and trying to act like a passenger to her own life (op is kinda an ah to herself for staying in such disfunction.
cat story: its a known tactic for those that wosh to control talk quickly, junp subjects, its all about control and momentum. 'i hurl enough at the wall, they cant respond to everything before i can cut them off (interrupt) and challenge. dont play stupid games woth stupid ppl. they will bring you down to their lvl where they will win. just chip the cat, have your receipts and be done with the roomie.