Bring Me The Arrakis - FedEx Santa

This song includes Santa’s initial desire to work remotely, his realization of the downsides of modern logistics, reindeer union struggles, and finally, the nostalgic return to his original joy of personal delivery.
Lyrics:
Verse 1
🎵 Santa’s getting older, the cold’s too rough,
Flying all night, it’s just too tough.
His beard’s all frosty, his back is sore,
So he packed up his sleigh and said, "No more flight!" 🎵
Verse 2
🎵 Oh, FedEx Santa, shipping gifts far and wide,
With tracking numbers and a fleet to guide.
Outsourcing cheer, but the magic’s gone,
All lost in the cost-cutting measures. 🎵
Verse 3
🎵 “I’ll keep up with the world, I’ll work remote,
No more icy winds freezing my coat.
Me and the elves in a condo's warm,
Watching Netflix while it snows and storms!” 🎵
🎵 “The reindeer too can finally relax,
No late-night flights, no heavy sacks.
They’ll play video games, munch on hay,
And scroll on their phones all night and day!” 🎵
Chorus
🎵 Oh, FedEx Santa, what have you done?
The holidays aren’t as fun.
Sitting in an office, no sleigh in the sky,
Wishing for the magic that used to fly by. 🎵
Verse 4
🎵 But soon he learned, to his dismay,
FedEx delays ruined Christmas day.
Missed packages and reindeer strikes,
Santa’s joy was fading, oh what a fight! 🎵
Chorus
🎵 Oh, FedEx Santa, what have you done?
The holidays aren’t as fun.
Sitting in an office, no sleigh in the sky,
Wishing for the magic that used to fly by. 🎵
Verse 5
🎵 Oh, FedEx Santa, he’s losing his mind,
In shipping disputes and return lines.
No more cookies, no more joy in the air,
Just calls and emails, nobody cares!" 🎵
Verse 6
🎵 He misses the magic, the laughter, the fun,
The sparkle in children’s eyes when the day’s done.
So next year, Santa knows what he’ll do,
He’ll bring back the sleigh, and the magic too! 🎵
Outro
🎵 Santa’s back, no more remote,
He’s ditching the spreadsheets, the shipping racks.
Back to the old ways, it’s a magical thing,
Merry Christmas to all, let the sleigh bells ring! 🎵