This is a very frequent realisation in asian married guys. The men only realised after she had left and after some time. At the time they were too busy thinking about other things, work, famiy or ego issues. The ❤Realisation to appreciate.
You are spot on. Don't take your spouse for granted and make sure you reciprocate their efforts. I did everything for my husband. Before kids I cooked, cleaned, and took care of his every need all while working and going to school. After kids, I cooked, cleaned, took care of the kids, and still took care of his every need. I never nagged him. I encouraged him to have guy time with his friends. Eventually he stopped appreciating everything I did for him. He stopped giving me attention outside of the bedroom. I repeatedly told him how I felt lonely and unappreciated and missed him. I told him that I felt like all I was was a cook, maid, and booty call. He still didn't change. He never made an effort until I told him I was leaving. I told him I was done. I did everything I could to keep the marriage together but it wasn't enough because it takes both to make it work. That was about 8 or 9 months ago. He started making an effort but then stopped again. I started packing my stuff. I didn't know where I was going, just that I needed to get out. Since then he's gotten better, but he's incredibly bored with what I do and how I live my life. I told him that's what I'm used to because I've been alone for so long. I think, and hope, it's sinking in.
I like the way you wrote "divine wife" and then "husband", the husband doesn't need to be divine to qualify for the divine wife. And we wonder why women file for divorce as a majority and the male loneliness epidemy remains on the rise
Yes. I'm 51, never married, no kids. I'm an extremely hard and dependable worker, I can cook better than every single woman I've ever been with, and I old fashion-Mississippi clean with Clorox, Pine oil, Dawn, and a lot of Gain. I'm athletically built with no body fat, I'm easy on the eyes, and drive luxury cars. I'm also a loyal gentleman with respect for women. Getting women through dating sites, night clubs, strip clubs, hookers, and massage parlors has never been my thing. I can pick up chics at Walmart all day so sex is easy these days. She's 100% correct and it sounds like she's describing my narcissist ex. Once she saw my flaws she held it against me when I embraced hers and believe me she had some shit with her physically and mentally. She pulled back and betrayed me. I went no contact and now she's methodically hoovering me but now I'm woke! I still need love, support and affection. The fight continues! 🥲💪🏾
Some men are bombs. Some men are lazy and do like women taking care of them. Women are ones that are mostly college educated and bring more money to the table by having better paying job. Majority of men are not going to college or are not pursuing higher education or learning. So, a lot of them do want to spend their female partners money and drive their cars.
I have been with 5 men which included 2 ex husbands that expected everything she's saying from me and I proved it until I felt used. I feel they just wanted that from me but weren't willing to provide the same to me because they didn't and couldn't provide the same to me. They were users.
It's just the opposite. I am a woman and all I want is affection. And I give that affection. I can support myself - I have a job. I can get sex too. It's the emotional support and affection that I wish to keep. When I married, my husband slowly stopped being affectionate. He was affectionate in the beginning,then less affectionate, then even less, then non-affectionate, and then little hostile, and then very hostile and cold. So, I lost the desire for affection. You can't want it anymore when you are heartbroken. And it's not about being men or women. They say it's about love-bombing. Hyper-affectionate and very sweet (at first) type of person will later turn into hyper-hostile and very disrespectful type. In short, if you see love-bombing - RUN!!!! Love-bombing is guaranteed to turn into hate-bombing eventually.
@ Pete. Your first two words in this section " Man here", says everything any lady on your radar need to know in order to understand your needs and soul. You are an emotional being who connects with what is going on around you. Don't allow the wrong woman to waste your energy. You are golden.
Both of them have responsibility to work on making the relationship to work and succeed. But it takes a lot of patience, perseverance and self-awareness.
This Lady is giving ANGELIC WISDOM ❤. May the Most High continue to use Her & Others like Her as a conduit to educate those who are ignorant and lacking this Very Important Guidance, AMEEN .
Yeah, feminism taught us that men were the enemy, no matter their status in society. So, instead of seeing a partnership necessary for life insurance, women believe that men want to exploit them for sex. Because of this, women reduce themselves to thinking that they are prostitutes and men are pimps. You can see this false conception of men’s and women’s relationships throughout rap and contemporary black music. Hey, y’all, the drug war against us didn’t help. It was these two things colliding, white women’s feminism and the drug war against us, that created the crisis like no other since slavery that we black people are up against. Get wise: check out Prof. Tommy Curry’s videos. Know your true history, not the one created by the government wedded with corporations, which are one.
They keep TELLING WOMEN/WIVES what men want in marriage BUT NEVER TELL MEN/HUSBANDS what women want. Marriage takes two halves to make a whole. Make it make sense, please❗
The Bible says, The man shall leave his mother and cleave unto his wife, basically the same thing she's saying that it's an innate desire for that love and nurturing. All too often though, life gets in the way and people start drifting apart influenced by outside distractions. 😢
I tell Y'all I taught My Son how Cook and Clean !!!! This lady totally RIGHT My Son on His job for over 20 years !!!! Married for Love He wanted Love , Companionship, Support !!!!
Absolutely, I did the same to my Son who’s been at his job 10 years. He cooks like a chef, house immaculate, makes 6 figures and cannot find the right woman. At 35 he has no children & no wife yet😩
Yes as a woman who chose to become loving and kind, first to myself, I have the most loving, kind, supportive, giving man that I have ever been with. It all starts with self and shutting down the negative thoughts that try to keep you on the unfulfilling journey! Peace and One love
Very true. It all begins with you ( as a man or woman). True love is never about any conditions. If I need Mrs Right, I must be Mr right first. When a woman needs Mr right, she must be Mrs Right first, and there are no two ways about it. And honestly, we'll never be right with ourselves and know truly who we are and what we are supposed to do and be, without having a personal relationship with the LORD God Almighty, our Creator.
@@StephenGadza-ux5yv Well stated!!! Each partner recognizes their humanity, therefore humble themselves before god and each other. To serve is to love! ❤ Married 35 wonderful years!!!
The most beautifully stated observation that I have seen on the internet in quite a while! Bravo sister, bravo. SIDE NOTE: THIS IS NOT APPLICABLE TO ABUSIVE MEN'S, THIS IS FOR GROWN MEN. IF YOU'RE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, MOVE ON! NO AMOUNT OF LOVE OR AFFECTION IS GOING TO CHANGE WHO HE IS!
This is very correct. Women have become increasingly very exploitative and selfish, disloyal. Their sense of love is unreal.. Their sense of relationship have become quite adversarial and they do not hesitate to steal all your wealth as soon as they can and run away.
This is not applicable to abusive, toxic and/or selfish women. This woman is speaking to WOMEN. She's telling them why men marry and what women should and shouldn't do to keep a relationship healthy. Yet immediately, the comments begin to put the burden back on men. You can't make this stuff up.
@@pugsymalone6539 stop. They didn't put any burden on men. They're warning women not to apply this to ALL men, which is a freaking fact. If you put your all into the WRONG man, you ultimately get hurt bc they are broken ppl.
Truth, I was taught almost everything I needed from a strong father. What I need from a marriage is a loyal companion and as simple as that sounds , it's extremely difficult
The difference between a nurturing healthy man with morals and understanding, with value of love and light that wants to charish a woman ❤Vs A man with no morals , value,no respect for woman nor himself ...you can not change a broken man into the husband you want him to be
Know one Can ONLY GOD!!!! IF THEY SEEK JESUS THEY WILL CHANGE!!!!!!!! I HAVE SEEN IT HAPPEN IN MY LIFE!!!!!! Almost 70 & GOD IS AWESOME HE CAN DO ANYTHING & CHANGE ANYBODY!!!!!!😇👑🙏🏾🙏🏾🙌🏿👏🏾👏🏾
Right on point, before I got married I had 4 women who wanted me. But I walked away from them because all they gave me I got from all of them nothing was different. When I net my wife we went out 3 times for coffee. By the 3rd date she showed me love. It happened in 1 month. It's been 20 years and it's only gotten better. We have a daughter and I live for them. I got married at 40 years old. Love is what we all want but few wait for it. I'm blessed and thank God everyday.
"on the third date she showed me love" If you don't mind could you pls explain what exactly happened and what stood out in her and how exactly she showed you love. I'm curious because i've dated a few and not had a spark with any.
No context for what the other women offered.. and you were just using them as placeholders.. what was different about you r wife.. did she put out on third cheapass coffee date you took her on? Were the other girls putting out a d not smart, were they seeing other men and that bothered you.. your wife had low demands? Was you wife conservative? You sir, need to elaborate 🤔
They both need to be or LEARN HOW to honestly & and consistently be best friends. They need to KNOW what a best friend is & how to be one ALL THE TIME...not just when alls well & easy. ❤
"Comparison robs you of Joy" -- Theodore Roosevelt . In other words; when your partner starts comparing you to others (or you compare them) you are effectively killing the joy in the relationship.
Omg men are such head turners, look loose, looking at other women in nonverbal ways Or believe me women pick this up And yes, indeed, it makes us women lose our joy
@@Bryan-cd9cl yeah all men do this nowadays They’re constantly looking at other women while they’re with you They’re like passive aggressive It’s a constant guessing game Number one stealer of joy comes from man
You have to enjoy each other's company. You have to be friends first and accept each other for who you are. Acceptance and forgiveness. Well said, Ma'am.
Those are all nice suggestions but HOW DOES ONE DO IT??? Exactly HOW do you or anyone perform any of those actions & behaviors CONSISTENTLY & HONESTLY?? Due to rotten parenting, I had to enter Therapy & gradually LEARN HOW TO BE: loving, friendly, honest, forgiving, etc. & am still LEARNING HOW! IMO, most ppl simply don't know how to do/be the things you mentioned or can/will do that only PART OF THE TIME! 😮
Statistically guys live longer married while wmen live longer single. That means guys need wmen more than wmen need guys. Which also means you all shorten their lifespans...So that's not exactly ideal if you guys are opperating like leeches.
That's all I wanted: nurturing, love, affection and friendship. I gave myself 100% to her BUT... After a couple of years together she turned into an abusive monster. Being independent I simply left. She is regretting her behaviour, but it's too late. I might stay single for the rest of my life but I'll never go back to her.
Yes, they are blessed if that partner does that! If not, and all you get is comparison, being ignored, cheated on, gaslighted, and etc. I’d rather stay single and talk to God instead of going through and being in a toxic relationship just to say I have someone to talk to. If it is a healthy relationship, yes, but if not, at least I know that a conversation and a relationship with God is genuine; full of love, compassion, happiness, and peace. For His Holy Spirit is a good company keeper.🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽
True. Very true, unless he is a narcissist. You will never be enough for a narcissist. Otherwise, the healthy man is looking for someone to care for his heart. Thank you!
Yeah they usually throw the responsibility on you. Make you support them and provide for them cook, clean, sex take care of kids they want a slave. Narcissistic men or even want to take the wifes money if she is more wealthy than him has her own home, resources, better job they can get that in a divorce without a prenup.
STOP! Five years ago Women like you couldn’t spell “narcissist!” You heard a white woman use the term to excuse herself from responsibility and it sounded good! Stop, Troll! Grow up and stop posting your personal mistakes online!
Once more. with feeling! IF you are a Black Woman who holds a college degree in a field you don’t work or won’t exceed $60k a year without you needing to go back to school? You are a narcissist! If you are a Baby Mama, you are a narcissist You are the ONLY person between your BD, the kid, and you who insisted on NOT taking one of 42 forms or birth control and just decided to disrupt the lives of several people, disappoint some people, and sign everybody up for the Juvenile & Domestic Relations offices in your town. Statistically, BMs have more than 1 kid and many by multiple fathers. If you are a Black Woman and didn’t know what this lady is talking about or don’t apply what she’s saying, you, “Queen” are a delusional narcissist! What else besides supporting a family and husband are you even here for? You invent and produce nothing! You are, more often than not, a drain on a productive society! Look at the Welfare, Child Support numbers, teen pregnancies, and prison stats on inmates from single Baby Mama homes! FACTS don’t lie! Black Women do!
A woman can be all of those things and sometimes that still is not enough. Sometimes a man will choose a woman just solely based off of her physical attributes and how she can make him look to the outside world.
But this is why you vet people, male or female. In the old days, you took a guy or a gal to meet your parents or the people that raised you because game knows game. When we were younger, I vetted all of my sister's dates except one. That one was the man that she married and ended up in a very bad marriage. A close family will Always have your best interests at heart and can see things about your potential mate that you don't or refuse to see on your own.
“Yeah, yeah, that’s great. You know what else? Me me me me me.” JFC everytime. There’s multiple Television channels, books, movies, public facebook groups, hotlines, websites, magazines, etc DEDICATED to validating and reinforcing women’s emotions. We get ONE 60 second clip of a woman showing us some love and we can’t even get that without becoming hypothetical villains in someone else’s story.
I get what you’re saying but that money should be to level y’all up than he might see you in a different light . He’s not just giving you money to spend.
Respect is important but way too cold and too little - one needs to like, appreciate, and even admire one's life-partner, it adds up to love - mutually and daily, or one can be respectful acquaintancies, no harm intended.
@@DNA350ppm True respect is never cold, it can be a beginning! when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change, coming from a place of sincere peace!!
That is something that both provide. A marriage is about two people not just one. Any discussion that only speaks of person’s needs & not both should not be listened too.
Nope, because she hasn't defined good men. Not all men deserves to be loved and supported by a woman. There are some men that should be rejected especially if his flaws are disruptive and toxic. Those flaws should be counted against them. Those are unworthy men not deserving of a wife
Sometimes, we are so busy trying to make a living we forget to live. We have to MAKE the time for each other. Plan that special time alone, even if it's just having coffee together or taking a walk. You will.never regret it
I always wanted to be a house wife and have children with a good man all I found was heartache I know that their is good men out there I just never experienced this in my life I am now middle age I rather be alone than being in a toxic relationship sign Cynthia Smith
I am in no way perfect, and I didn't marry a perfect man. I didn't expect perfection from him because I had already seen his flaws. I still married him, not to change him, but to help him. I gave him those things, but I was never enough. A year and two months in the marriage, he cheated with one of his coworkers. He went to her house and did it. He told me what he had done and apologized. As devastated as I was, I forgave him and asked him how I could help him. He did it again and again and again. All of the women from his job, and he's still doing it. Since I wasn't enough for him, why didn't he just walk away? Why keep cheating? You obviously want from them, what you don't see in me. He wants to be free. I kept giving all of that to him, but he didn't want it. He even told me that that's not what he wanted. So, while that statement may apply to some, it doesn't apply to all women. He always saw my flaws and nothing else. That's what I ended up with.
I'm in the same boat. When you feel deeply & lead/offer/provide the love/nurturing/ acceptance without the want of "having your hand out" & entitlement, the feeling of "not being good enough" can tear a person down. But, I'm still looking & trying to better myself, though it might be defeated by the world.
Nope.. can give love, nurturing, affection, encouragement, on top of everything else.. some will take it for granted and it still won’t be enough to stop him from acting a fool!
You are a smart woman. I had 33 wonderful years with an amazing man. We got married after 6 months. The Lord spoke to me that this man will treat you as an equal while putting you on a pedestal and depending you with his life. So glad I listened. The word divorce or separate never left our months.
She's right. Money and sex are abundant these days and much easier to find and get than love. Love is the most valuable thing in life; but it's scarce and hard to find.
@@mrb2643like a gem but also make yourself a human being of worth and value in order to find the same we can’t be a mess and expect to find the perfect partner don’t work that way
Amen! It’s both ways though. Most women don’t have issues with nurturing and providing a peaceful home. Their cup can run dry when there is lack of support from the man coupled with raising children. I fully agree with you but it’s need to be both ways.
I’m glad you pointed that out bc too often it seems like the responsibility is placed on the woman to keep a relationship together. There are so many books, talks or sermons on things women should do, to get a man. What about the men? What about how they should show up for women? Culture tells them to not get married and it seems to tell us we should do everything possible to earn a spot in their lives. It goes both ways.
Yes this seems to be telling us women once again that if we want to be loved and appreciated, we have to suck up all the 💩 these men throw at us and keep being supportive. But no mention of the man doing any of that good supportive stuff. And then the men who comment here want to gaslight us by saying it isn't so. I will not show love and support for abuse.
I never pulled back… he kept accounts of my flaws, he judged me and found fault in everything I did…and all along he was doing the exact things he accused me of… he wasn’t ready and I stop defending myself and gave him the peace ✌🏾 he so deserved…
@@sabinamuriithi1339because the consequences of choosing poorly affects women disproportionately. Males are inspired by female beauty (internal and external) so who you are attracts who you end up with and what he can become with your support. If female empowerment is to ultimately become the man you want then what good is a man? Men also need guidance and role models. Both need to work together to build a strong family.
The culture is telling him that his is the prize the Bible says when a man finds a wife he found a good thing. In most of my couples counseling sessions the wife stopped being nurturing because it’s not because she’s comparing him to another man. She’s comparing him to him. Holding him accountable for the way he treats her. Marriage is about five & take. Most men are takes they don’t necessarily want to give. The wives I see in my practice are tired of being unappreciated, not having their needs met, their husbands talking to them & threading them like trash. As well as unrealistic expectations. How can you mistreat someone then expect them to treat you better than you are treating them that is unrealistic. Marriage is a partnership where you are playing on the same team & building together. If the husband is tearing the wife down how can he expect her to hold him down. No
Wow queen! You so on point with this. That is it, what we men always been wanting to say but don’t want women to take it the wrong way. Much respect to this queen 👸🏾 🫡🙏🏾
That is straight talk After 43 years that is the clearest description of success I have heard. I can cook, clean, make money but having a wife with those 4 things is gold.
B@@OnMyGrindNowForever He'll realize your worth later on. He's not use to real love yet. He's use to the drama type perhaps. When they get through using him, he'll be crawling back to you. You never no what you got till it's gone. Just maybe, his rejection is God's protection for you. You have a choice, take him back or you move on. He'll see the light one day but don't wait, if it's meant for you, spirit will send him back to you, then you'll know God wants you two together.
@karlsmith2451 Thank you Karl. That makes me feel so much better. I have been trying to move on. I pray everyday that I wake up and the pain is no longer there. But it is everyday still...sigh. I'm tired of being so pained but I can't seem to speed up the healing process no matter how much I try. I guess I just need to keep taking things one day at a time.
No matter how much love, nurturing, and support you provide, if someone is determined to cheat, they will find a way. It's important to remember that trust and commitment come from within, not just from what you offer. Protect your heart!
There will always be men & women that cheat because they think they can get away with it. The people that do it best know exactly what to say & do. As a guy, I've only noticed one trait that stands out among the few I know whom have cheated. They like sports & drinking. The problem for a lot of us is we're attracted to the opposite so a good person desires someone more wild, different from themselves. Something that is talked about in the bible is the body desires things that go against the spirit, which leads to many things people shouldn't do. All the guys I know that got married are afraid of their wife. They're out hunting, working in the garage, working late...hiding away because everything they do in their house upsets their wife. The wife gets upset about travel plans, about dinner, about furniture or messes, shoes, toys, finances, dishes, laundry, trash. And if it isn't done her way she is upset. She wants his money & her money even if she works. Men will choose peace over all that. But are likely committed for the children & his promise made. Women are initiating divorce at 80% vs 20% men. Child support lack of custody, men have a lot to lose. Women will find love much faster because a homeless women will always be favored over a homeless man. Most men struggle because there is no love from parents, friends & such at the same level women are loved. Guys don't get love & don't desire that from anyone but the one he marries. Women get love from everyone in their circle.
EXACTLY!! when a woman speak up she's no longer eligible. Women give all that in the beginning but he took it for granted and now she's not worthy?!? Oh ok
I am in agreement! Man Be Authentic From The Beginning So I Know Who I Am Truly Dealing With. Lead With YourTruth And Not Your Representative ! Give Me The Choice In The Beginning To Stay Or Leave The Relationship 💐
If only this were true. Plenty of wives doing that and more and the husband cheats, abuses, undermines, Leaves. It takes TWO dedicated, committed, loyal people. Period.
Get out of the circle of people you know. I have been with my wife for 19 years and we are both happy and loyal. It’s people with no morals that step out our abuse people. My wife is a very successful lady and if I treated her bad she would leave and that’s for the both of us. What God put together no man can break.
I like this viewpoint and I agree. My only caveat is that it will only be beneficial to the man alot of times. A woman would have to force herself not to ever think about herself, how she feels, or how reciprocity actually works. If a woman changes over time that means he probably did too or he has done many things for her to harbor resentment and such. So in a perfect world this would absolutely work for both sides but it’s usually not the case. People don’t delve deeper into why the relationship is actually not working. Women typically give more effort than men and men are the ones who generally stop doing the things he started off doing in the relationship once he’s “comfortable.” That’s my opinion on it.
I agree 100%, alot of men once they think they got the woman, some stop doing the things they used to do to fuel her excitement in the first place. Just like a car, you stop fuelling, stop maintaining it, it stops working. Once she's hooked, you stop putting in efforts. What did you expect? It's only normal. Relationship is a two-way street.
@@derlyhtcreole3811- Hmmmm 🤔 car huh... Cars take the same gas & don't complain. They require minimal time and effort, and rarely descent, no matter how matter factly u treat them. Cars never ask for more than they require. Not what they desire. U can't full up, car doesn't complain. 5 bux or 50, the car faithfully runs til E. Women who are treated very well consistently say the men doing so for them are too nice. The interwebs is full of tiktox of women who cheated on & discarded men who tried to keep the same energy in relationships with them start to finish. & Their ideal replacement for those men were irresponsible, unreliable, insecure and unpredictable bros. ORRR no matter what he does it isn't enough, so the rose he 1st brought & was treasured now is left on the counter until it dies. The conversation he used to tickle u with casually is now usurped by group texts with frenemies. Random Nibbles on your ear are now met with shooing motions.But cars don't have changing love languages. They don't care whether u whisper or scream while banging on the steering wheel. Whether u kick the tires or slam the hood. They're ready when u r. Women usually ARE NOT. SO STOP COMPLAINING. U wanted it this way.
I completely disagree with that, although i respect that you have a right to your own opinion. I personally feel that men are generally more simple creatures and notice a much larger pattern of relationships failures and divorce because its usually the man busting his gut, to provide for a woman who can and never will be satisfied because its all about “ me, me, me ! )
What if you have been offering love, affection and nurturing, but if there is no development in his life to promote family life? We have 3 kids, and he is in the same place we have been since we started. I had to change in order to get some kind of results from him. The burden was too heavy on me. He got too laid back about my value in the marriage.
@imaginecaribbean5002 Your inner being knows what you desire . . . Deep down inside you know what you should do . . . I kept fighting that feeling for 23 years . . . Sometimes you just need to get out of the way and lead your life . . . It does not matter what you do . Only God changes people . . . And the person must also want to change . . .
@@Blessed591 Yes, I agree. I have been helping and helping and helping, and I realize I was just frustrating myself. Helping someone who is comfortable with no progress. Now because of his inaction on the same things that have been braying about him fixing, set us back about 5 years so now we have to play catch up. And the expenses and needs of the kids are way over our heads right now. I want to work with him, my heart is screaming to work with him to build our family, but I am afraid that he will lapse back into that daydreaming again. So I am staying in my corner and doing my thing until I see what I want to see. I want to feel like the woman that I am. Not the provider, and hunter.
Ms. Lady. This is powerful. I enjoyed your message today. It is my hope that all who hears this message really give your words some serious thought. I am about to turn 70 years old next month and I still have some female friends that are a little older that I am that still have not learned what you have just said. I personally don’t understand why some people females don’t get your point and still want bad boys in their lives. Thank you for your for your very kind knowledge of truth. I wish you continued success with all of your future videos and endeavors and I also wish you continued success financially as well. Thank you again. Oh, one last thing. I am going to send this video to many of my female friends and family members. Plus I am going to send this message to the men as well. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Na-ah, when a wife becomes “bitter, resentful and pulls-back from her husband”, likely because she’s not happy in her marriage … Often times because of her husband’s behaviors… My husband had an affair with his female boss … and like a fool, I forgave him after he cried & seemed remorseful & founded another job. Then, he had an outside baby on me and suggested that ‘we should raised, the “outside baby” in our house-hold”, oh-hell-no, I stood my ground. Nope, that-was-like-enough already … We divorced, and he remarried and pulled the same crap with the current wife. However, they are still together, but they sleep in separate rooms. Really, instead of being bitter & resentful, get back your peace of mind … But, I guess to each his own b-cuz people deal with things differently. But real-talk, ain’t no wife suppose to nurture no grown man - a potential spouse supposed to already fully nurtured by his own mother/guardian and come prepared to be a functioning, responsible adult within the Union of the marriage…
Exactly!! This woman is what they call a 'pick me'.. Generalized statement blaming women for relationship issues doesn't make sense. Why does she assume that it's the woman's fault?
Men and women complete eachother. That is how God intended it to be. Today's society is destroying this... turning away from God and how things are intended to be with a lot of pain an suffering as the result.
Be wary of relationship/marriage advice from the internet. It's all gift. This woman's advice is very generalized. Relationships are not general. Specific variables are in play. Take everything on social media with a grain of salt. I take it for entertainment value.
If that was true then when men cheat, they'd cheat by hugging or being affectionate with another woman, but we all know what they do when they cheat. No cheater was ever after a hug or just affection.
@@23lnp Exactly, women go on like men cheat only eith other men. And they also go on like they don’t cheat way more than men, which is definitely the case. They’re biggest gaslighters! 😂
@23lnp not always. They could be single, which is bad just the same if they know the guy is taken. Women cheat too of course and their sorry "excuse"? he never complimented her anymore or he didn't show her he loved her anymore, so she ran of with the first one who did. Imho, the truth is that we are very complex creatures and marriage takes a lot of work. Not everyone is cut out for marriage but most seem to think they are.
Humans aren't a monogamous species. In society you may be told not to bed others but that'd take some self discipline and control. 9.9 times out of 10 you will be cheated on, guys even tell you it's not natural to be with just one...
When I got married I knew she was the one and I knew we would look after each other and share all the house cores. The most important think is that we were and still determined not to be dependent upon the so called therapists or any outside influence. A couple that know and trust each other know how make the relationship durable and desired day by day.
He has to be healthy in the first place. And unhealthy man often doesn't really know what he is looking for and the things a normal and healthy man would want he can't appreciate
All men expect you to put them before yourself and will never put you before them. Enjoy your life of servitude. Or get some homegirls and enjoy being alive.
Exactly that love❤&support goes both ways 💁🏽♀️men can’t be expecting all that without reciprocating She will definitely burnout It’s not rocket science Why do ppl post this stuff like it’s only men who want/deserve this things? Any relationship that isn’t balanced is unhealthy
No matter how much love, nurturing, and support you provide, if someone is determined to cheat, they will find a way. It's important to remember that trust and commitment come from within, not just from what you offer. Protect your heart! that the truth.
with respect, he is doing the same, pulling back on the qualities he originally offered: generosity of spirit, kindness, thoughtfulness, support, loyalty and any other voluntary action that demonstrates love/affection/caring
I have been through a relationship with a woman who has compared me to other men and started magnifying the one thing that I did over all of the 12 other good things that I bought to the relationship and she ended up losing a good man and now she doesn't want to see me with anyone else but I am happy being single because I was the best cook in the house and I was raised by a man who taught me how to be a man
Standin on business bruh👏🏾 Keep that high self esteem fam. The right woman will make her self known ro u and show an unbelievable amount of interest in you, so much that u'll say "yo she really rockin wit me" Godbless fam🫡
EXACTLY! This is why it’s important for a man to meet his own needs. All of this marriage shit sounds very codependent. Plus the attraction between the couple eventually fades
Mine has grown stronger in my 26th yr and am more tender with her than ever. It takes awhile to grow lasting things, and man, was she patient with me. My foundation for Loving her is Jesus.
In relationship we have to make sure not to take each other for granted. Keep the love alive.❤
This is the whole thing
All factual ❤
This is a very frequent realisation in asian married guys. The men only realised after she had left and after some time.
At the time they were too busy thinking about other things, work, famiy or ego issues.
The ❤Realisation to appreciate.
Honor each other and protect the relationship. Guard it against nay sayers. Keep the ways of God first.
You are spot on. Don't take your spouse for granted and make sure you reciprocate their efforts. I did everything for my husband. Before kids I cooked, cleaned, and took care of his every need all while working and going to school. After kids, I cooked, cleaned, took care of the kids, and still took care of his every need. I never nagged him. I encouraged him to have guy time with his friends. Eventually he stopped appreciating everything I did for him. He stopped giving me attention outside of the bedroom. I repeatedly told him how I felt lonely and unappreciated and missed him. I told him that I felt like all I was was a cook, maid, and booty call. He still didn't change. He never made an effort until I told him I was leaving. I told him I was done. I did everything I could to keep the marriage together but it wasn't enough because it takes both to make it work. That was about 8 or 9 months ago. He started making an effort but then stopped again. I started packing my stuff. I didn't know where I was going, just that I needed to get out. Since then he's gotten better, but he's incredibly bored with what I do and how I live my life. I told him that's what I'm used to because I've been alone for so long. I think, and hope, it's sinking in.
A divine wife is a blessing for a husband.
A devine husband is a blessing for a wife too.
I like the way you wrote "divine wife" and then "husband", the husband doesn't need to be divine to qualify for the divine wife. And we wonder why women file for divorce as a majority and the male loneliness epidemy remains on the rise
Amen!
And he still goes out and cheats on her...
@@1425_1did you listen to what she just said and the reason that they pull away and you come back with that statement???
My wife and I have been together for 45 years and YOU ARE RIGHT!
she's taking you back to the garden
Yes. I'm 51, never married, no kids. I'm an extremely hard and dependable worker, I can cook better than every single woman I've ever been with, and I old fashion-Mississippi clean with Clorox, Pine oil, Dawn, and a lot of Gain.
I'm athletically built with no body fat, I'm easy on the eyes, and drive luxury cars. I'm also a loyal gentleman with respect for women.
Getting women through dating sites, night clubs, strip clubs, hookers, and massage parlors has never been my thing. I can pick up chics at Walmart all day so sex is easy these days.
She's 100% correct and it sounds like she's describing my narcissist ex. Once she saw my flaws she held it against me when I embraced hers and believe me she had some shit with her physically and mentally.
She pulled back and betrayed me. I went no contact and now she's methodically hoovering me but now I'm woke!
I still need love, support and affection. The fight continues! 🥲💪🏾
Congratulations 🎉💥🎉🎇🎉
Thanks for sharing. You and your wife r blessed.
Some men are bombs. Some men are lazy and do like women taking care of them. Women are ones that are mostly college educated and bring more money to the table by having better paying job. Majority of men are not going to college or are not pursuing higher education or learning. So, a lot of them do want to spend their female partners money and drive their cars.
I wish I could like this 1000 times. She nailed it, word for word…
Ladies, this man she is talking about is emotionally healthy ❤️ this is not for people in toxic unhealthy relationships ships.
Thank you for saying this because as loving, kind, and nurturing I can be, I will pull back from a toxic, emotionally immature man.
Same goes for the woman! 🤷🏽♂️
I have been with 5 men which included 2 ex husbands that expected everything she's saying from me and I proved it until I felt used. I feel they just wanted that from me but weren't willing to provide the same to me because they didn't and couldn't provide the same to me. They were users.
I don't agree,I know of lots of men with wonderful wives who give him all that but he still cheats.
Thank you..
25 years with my husband and this is the wisest thing I’ve ever heard! Thank you for this word❤
It's just the opposite. I am a woman and all I want is affection. And I give that affection. I can support myself - I have a job. I can get sex too. It's the emotional support and affection that I wish to keep. When I married, my husband slowly stopped being affectionate. He was affectionate in the beginning,then less affectionate, then even less, then non-affectionate, and then little hostile, and then very hostile and cold. So, I lost the desire for affection. You can't want it anymore when you are heartbroken. And it's not about being men or women. They say it's about love-bombing. Hyper-affectionate and very sweet (at first) type of person will later turn into hyper-hostile and very disrespectful type. In short, if you see love-bombing - RUN!!!! Love-bombing is guaranteed to turn into hate-bombing eventually.
Unconditional respect 24/7 is seen by men as love.
Thanks, for truly understanding these facts. Your husband most be one of the few lucky one amongst us.
Man here: WOW! You nailed it. Well done.
I like how you don’t beat around the bush. You get right to it. Thank you.
@ Pete. Your first two words in this section " Man here", says everything any lady on your radar need to know in order to understand your needs and soul. You are an emotional being who connects with what is going on around you. Don't allow the wrong woman to waste your energy. You are golden.
Maybe this kind of men should marry their mothers...garantied happiness
She forgot about the children part.
I have been married for 41 years and we raised two very fine sons.
The greatest accomplishment of my life.
@@angetodac@angetodac *Pullover from the Spellcheck Police* Maybe you should learn to spell guaranteed?
OK you can go now 😅
Lol 😂😂😂 @@angetodac
Both of them have responsibility to work on making the relationship to work and succeed. But it takes a lot of patience, perseverance and self-awareness.
This Lady is giving ANGELIC WISDOM ❤. May the Most High continue to use Her & Others like Her as a conduit to educate those who are ignorant and lacking this Very Important Guidance, AMEEN .
What truly words reflect an outstanding wisdom of human nature
Yeah, feminism taught us that men were the enemy, no matter their status in society. So, instead of seeing a partnership necessary for life insurance, women believe that men want to exploit them for sex.
Because of this, women reduce themselves to thinking that they are prostitutes and men are pimps.
You can see this false conception of men’s and women’s relationships throughout rap and contemporary black music.
Hey, y’all, the drug war against us didn’t help. It was these two things colliding, white women’s feminism and the drug war against us, that created the crisis like no other since slavery that we black people are up against.
Get wise: check out Prof. Tommy Curry’s videos.
Know your true history, not the one created by the government wedded with corporations, which are one.
They keep TELLING WOMEN/WIVES what men want in marriage BUT NEVER TELL MEN/HUSBANDS what women want. Marriage takes two halves to make a whole. Make it make sense, please❗
Too intense and analytical for me. Neither one should lose themself to the other. Just be true to yourself and each other always.
The Bible says, The man shall leave his mother and cleave unto his wife, basically the same thing she's saying that it's an innate desire for that love and nurturing. All too often though, life gets in the way and people start drifting apart influenced by outside distractions. 😢
I tell Y'all I taught My Son how Cook and Clean !!!! This lady totally RIGHT My Son on His job for over 20 years !!!! Married for Love He wanted Love , Companionship, Support !!!!
❤❤❤❤
Here! Here! I pray my son finds a god-fearing mate. He already knows how and has the heart to do the rest (cook, clean, and provide)
Absolutely, I did the same to my Son who’s been at his job 10 years. He cooks like a chef, house immaculate, makes 6 figures and cannot find the right woman. At 35 he has no children & no wife yet😩
Did his father teach him anything?
@@tonyblaze2897 father was never in his life from day one.
Yes as a woman who chose to become loving and kind, first to myself, I have the most loving, kind, supportive, giving man that I have ever been with. It all starts with self and shutting down the negative thoughts that try to keep you on the unfulfilling journey! Peace and One love
Yes it's always good to be in tune with yourself first 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
Very true. It all begins with you ( as a man or woman). True love is never about any conditions. If I need Mrs Right, I must be Mr right first. When a woman needs Mr right, she must be Mrs Right first, and there are no two ways about it. And honestly, we'll never be right with ourselves and know truly who we are and what we are supposed to do and be, without having a personal relationship with the LORD God Almighty, our Creator.
@@StephenGadza-ux5yv Well stated!!!
Each partner recognizes their humanity, therefore humble themselves before god and each other. To serve is to love! ❤ Married 35 wonderful years!!!
@@AllanCash
Tried to write that exactly on another thread and you tube deleted.
You tube needs some marital advice too.
Amen!! Thank you, Sister. That's a whole word. ♥️🙏🏽
👉A Loyal and Loveable is wife is the costliest treasure to an innocent man ❤
I am Asian and married American since January 20th 1995 when I was 21 y.o and still going strong ❤
HalleluYah 🙌🏼
Nice! But that's not everyone
@@ADifferentVibe I don't believe they were saying it's everyone. I believe they are rejoicing over the fact that it's a blessing. 🙏🏼 Blessings to you
Of course..classic
Nice.
The most beautifully stated observation that I have seen on the internet in quite a while! Bravo sister, bravo.
SIDE NOTE: THIS IS NOT APPLICABLE TO ABUSIVE MEN'S, THIS IS FOR GROWN MEN. IF YOU'RE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, MOVE ON! NO AMOUNT OF LOVE OR AFFECTION IS GOING TO CHANGE WHO HE IS!
Yes
This is very correct.
Women have become increasingly very exploitative and selfish, disloyal.
Their sense of love is unreal..
Their sense of relationship have become quite adversarial and they do not hesitate to steal all your wealth as soon as they can and run away.
This is not applicable to abusive, toxic and/or selfish women.
This woman is speaking to WOMEN. She's telling them why men marry and what women should and shouldn't do to keep a relationship healthy.
Yet immediately, the comments begin to put the burden back on men. You can't make this stuff up.
@@pugsymalone6539 stop. They didn't put any burden on men. They're warning women not to apply this to ALL men, which is a freaking fact. If you put your all into the WRONG man, you ultimately get hurt bc they are broken ppl.
@@pugsymalone6539Agreed. I gave a long comment about that and don't agree nor care for toxic people with that crap.
Married 54 years ....my parents are still loving like day 1....l love them.
38 yrs with my husband and the woman is on point❤️💯🙏🏽
11/24 was the 50th anniversary of our first date together. Love is supposed to grow stronger with time. Well said young lady!
i salute this woman for advocating on our behalf.
She’s not advocating on anyone’s behalf, she just telling it as it is
Truth, I was taught almost everything I needed from a strong father. What I need from a marriage is a loyal companion and as simple as that sounds , it's extremely difficult
Yes it is, a lot of people today have agendas and bad behaviors... Hard to work with THAT!
Statistically, improbable. Meanwhile, a life threatening divorce is statistically almost guaranteed.
He is always looking forward to having peace quiet and respect be accountable, responsible 💯
The difference between a nurturing healthy man with morals and understanding, with value of love and light that wants to charish a woman ❤Vs A man with no morals , value,no respect for woman nor himself ...you can not change a broken man into the husband you want him to be
AaaaaaMen 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
@GODsGirl1468 Say it again Amen
@@Nikkie-bl4wg AMEN
Know one Can ONLY GOD!!!! IF THEY SEEK JESUS THEY WILL CHANGE!!!!!!!! I HAVE SEEN IT HAPPEN IN MY LIFE!!!!!! Almost 70 & GOD IS AWESOME HE CAN DO ANYTHING & CHANGE ANYBODY!!!!!!😇👑🙏🏾🙏🏾🙌🏿👏🏾👏🏾
Absolute FACT, 💯%!!!!
Right on point, before I got married I had 4 women who wanted me. But I walked away from them because all they gave me I got from all of them nothing was different. When I net my wife we went out 3 times for coffee. By the 3rd date she showed me love. It happened in 1 month. It's been 20 years and it's only gotten better. We have a daughter and I live for them. I got married at 40 years old. Love is what we all want but few wait for it. I'm blessed and thank God everyday.
❤❤❤❤
So what were the others offering?
"on the third date she showed me love"
If you don't mind could you pls explain what exactly happened and what stood out in her and how exactly she showed you love. I'm curious because i've dated a few and not had a spark with any.
How beautiful blessings to u both.
No context for what the other women offered.. and you were just using them as placeholders.. what was different about you r wife.. did she put out on third cheapass coffee date you took her on? Were the other girls putting out a d not smart, were they seeing other men and that bothered you.. your wife had low demands? Was you wife conservative? You sir, need to elaborate 🤔
If you can say your man is your best friend IRL you're on the right track. Love is great.
They both need to be or LEARN HOW to honestly & and consistently be best friends. They need to KNOW what a best friend is & how to be one ALL THE TIME...not just when alls well & easy. ❤
Here I thought she wouldn't get me😅
But she melted my heart
"Comparison robs you of Joy" -- Theodore Roosevelt . In other words; when your partner starts comparing you to others (or you compare them) you are effectively killing the joy in the relationship.
All women Did this nowadays 😢
@@Bryan-cd9clall women don't did this
Yep..."The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence"
Omg men are such head turners, look loose, looking at other women in nonverbal ways
Or believe me women pick this up
And yes, indeed, it makes us women lose our joy
@@Bryan-cd9cl yeah all men do this nowadays
They’re constantly looking at other women while they’re with you
They’re like passive aggressive
It’s a constant guessing game
Number one stealer of joy comes from man
You have to enjoy each other's company. You have to be friends first and accept each other for who you are. Acceptance and forgiveness. Well said, Ma'am.
Those are all nice suggestions but HOW DOES ONE DO IT???
Exactly HOW do you or anyone perform any of those actions & behaviors CONSISTENTLY & HONESTLY??
Due to rotten parenting, I had to enter Therapy & gradually LEARN HOW TO BE: loving, friendly, honest, forgiving, etc. & am still LEARNING HOW!
IMO, most ppl simply don't know how to do/be the things you mentioned or can/will do that only PART OF THE TIME! 😮
This woman is a godsend.
SO necessary these days. Thank you for your clarity in creating and fortifying quality in relationships
As a man, I approve this message. Thank you.
Men & women need each other.
Stop the devilish division.
Amen Brother ❤
No man can live a long life with a nagging woman instead he prefer to pull away so that he can live hide life peaceful.
Mutual respect and being humble and kind.... Is a good start, and keep it there..
YOU ARE SO RIGHT!!!! AMEN!!!!!!!!👍🏾
Statistically guys live longer married while wmen live longer single. That means guys need wmen more than wmen need guys. Which also means you all shorten their lifespans...So that's not exactly ideal if you guys are opperating like leeches.
That's all I wanted: nurturing, love, affection and friendship. I gave myself 100% to her BUT...
After a couple of years together she turned into an abusive monster. Being independent I simply left. She is regretting her behaviour, but it's too late. I might stay single for the rest of my life but I'll never go back to her.
Good for you man
I hope you will find ge love your seeking
Same , sometimes it's better being free than being miserable
I experienced the same thing
Good for you brotha. Don't give up hope. There may be still ladies out there that want to be traditional and feminine
I wish most people that are married saw how blessed they are to have a partner, someone to talk to and pick them up when they're down
Yes, they are blessed if that partner does that! If not, and all you get is comparison, being ignored, cheated on, gaslighted, and etc. I’d rather stay single and talk to God instead of going through and being in a toxic relationship just to say I have someone to talk to. If it is a healthy relationship, yes, but if not, at least I know that a conversation and a relationship with God is genuine; full of love, compassion, happiness, and peace. For His Holy Spirit is a good company keeper.🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽
@@GodKindaFaithHe’s a good company keeper and the best husband you’ll ever have Isaiah 54
@ntokotom This👆
If only that is what marriage was really like lol. That's the myth.
@sistacoin
I'm not able to open up, so, I don't get that with friends
Careful with the nurturing part: for many men, treating him like he's your child is diametrically opposed to the respect he wants.
100 correct this intelligent woman is.
True. Very true, unless he is a narcissist. You will never be enough for a narcissist. Otherwise, the healthy man is looking for someone to care for his heart. Thank you!
Yeah they usually throw the responsibility on you. Make you support them and provide for them cook, clean, sex take care of kids they want a slave. Narcissistic men or even want to take the wifes money if she is more wealthy than him has her own home, resources, better job they can get that in a divorce without a prenup.
"heart"
True!
STOP! Five years ago Women like you couldn’t spell “narcissist!” You heard a white woman use the term to excuse herself from responsibility and it sounded good! Stop, Troll! Grow up and stop posting your personal mistakes online!
Once more. with feeling! IF you are a Black Woman who holds a college degree in a field you don’t work or won’t exceed $60k a year without you needing to go back to school? You are a narcissist! If you are a Baby Mama, you are a narcissist You are the ONLY person between your BD, the kid, and you who insisted on NOT taking one of 42 forms or birth control and just decided to disrupt the lives of several people, disappoint some people, and sign everybody up for the Juvenile & Domestic Relations offices in your town. Statistically, BMs have more than 1 kid and many by multiple fathers. If you are a Black Woman and didn’t know what this lady is talking about or don’t apply what she’s saying, you, “Queen” are a delusional narcissist! What else besides supporting a family and husband are you even here for? You invent and produce nothing! You are, more often than not, a drain on a productive society! Look at the Welfare, Child Support numbers, teen pregnancies, and prison stats on inmates from single Baby Mama homes! FACTS don’t lie! Black Women do!
A woman can be all of those things and sometimes that still is not enough. Sometimes a man will choose a woman just solely based off of her physical attributes and how she can make him look to the outside world.
This it's a bitter truth people don't like to hear.
You hear a lot of big words but actions speak louder.
Your a bitter woman
Well then that’s the wrong type of man to be with.
But this is why you vet people, male or female. In the old days, you took a guy or a gal to meet your parents or the people that raised you because game knows game.
When we were younger, I vetted all of my sister's dates except one. That one was the man that she married and ended up in a very bad marriage. A close family will Always have your best interests at heart and can see things about your potential mate that you don't or refuse to see on your own.
Theres plenty of bitter truths you wome want to ignore and instead continue yo play victim. Good luck child like individal@@JustMiluna
If they don't give the love back and ONLY give money - RUN. YOU deserve love as well❤ That "love" needs to be equal - and "love" doesn't hurt.
“Yeah, yeah, that’s great. You know what else? Me me me me me.”
JFC everytime. There’s multiple Television channels, books, movies, public facebook groups, hotlines, websites, magazines, etc DEDICATED to validating and reinforcing women’s emotions.
We get ONE 60 second clip of a woman showing us some love and we can’t even get that without becoming hypothetical villains in someone else’s story.
Amen!
Run from this one. We all know what women want/ need.
I get what you’re saying but that money should be to level y’all up than he might see you in a different light . He’s not just giving you money to spend.
And respect. Women need respect unlike what men and pickmes love to spread to unable mistreatment
Everyone has a attack angle for being righteous, what is needed is consistent respect, from both, no blame, simply respect!!!!!!!!!
Respect is important but way too cold and too little - one needs to like, appreciate, and even admire one's life-partner, it adds up to love - mutually and daily, or one can be respectful acquaintancies, no harm intended.
@@DNA350ppm True respect is never cold, it can be a beginning! when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change, coming from a place of sincere peace!!
Truly said My Lady! A man needs a complete person. Wisdom is priceless.
That is something that both provide. A marriage is about two people not just one. Any discussion that only speaks of person’s needs & not both should not be listened too.
Thanks my sista, keep speaking that "TRUTH TRAUMA!!!!!!!
This is so refreshing to hear from a woman , that’s exactly what a man needs and that’s that 👍😊😍thank you so much for setting the record straight
Please give this woman 1000 + likes!!❤🎉🙏🏿
Nope, because she hasn't defined good men. Not all men deserves to be loved and supported by a woman. There are some men that should be rejected especially if his flaws are disruptive and toxic. Those flaws should be counted against them. Those are unworthy men not deserving of a wife
Sometimes, we are so busy trying to make a living we forget to live. We have to MAKE the time for each other. Plan that special time alone, even if it's just having coffee together or taking a walk. You will.never regret it
That's so true, I hope they're listening and heed this advise
I always wanted to be a house wife and have children with a good man all I found was heartache I know that their is good men out there I just never experienced this in my life I am now middle age I rather be alone than being in a toxic relationship sign Cynthia Smith
I feel the same. Wish I could find a women...because when I love I love one million percent
You have to be able to notice red flags right away 😊
@@28alpaccinovery true!!!!
I am in no way perfect, and I didn't marry a perfect man. I didn't expect perfection from him because I had already seen his flaws. I still married him, not to change him, but to help him. I gave him those things, but I was never enough. A year and two months in the marriage, he cheated with one of his coworkers. He went to her house and did it. He told me what he had done and apologized. As devastated as I was, I forgave him and asked him how I could help him. He did it again and again and again. All of the women from his job, and he's still doing it. Since I wasn't enough for him, why didn't he just walk away? Why keep cheating? You obviously want from them, what you don't see in me. He wants to be free. I kept giving all of that to him, but he didn't want it. He even told me that that's not what he wanted. So, while that statement may apply to some, it doesn't apply to all women. He always saw my flaws and nothing else. That's what I ended up with.
I'm in the same boat. When you feel deeply & lead/offer/provide the love/nurturing/ acceptance without the want of "having your hand out" & entitlement, the feeling of "not being good enough" can tear a person down.
But, I'm still looking & trying to better myself, though it might be defeated by the world.
Nope.. can give love, nurturing, affection, encouragement, on top of everything else.. some will take it for granted and it still won’t be enough to stop him from acting a fool!
Wow she's spot on, just waiting on THE MOST HIGH to send me my wife, I'm going to provide and lead!
You are a smart woman. I had 33 wonderful years with an amazing man. We got married after 6 months. The Lord spoke to me that this man will treat you as an equal while putting you on a pedestal and depending you with his life. So glad I listened. The word divorce or separate never left our months.
Are you high?@@tammiwallace4996
So did you find your wife ?
Mean and women
@darellwoods1830 I am waiting on the Most High for him so send me my husband so I can nurture and truly love and support him as well ❤
I love this woman protect and listen to HER
Now this is some of the realist shit I ever heard. Amen 🙏🏽
She's right. Money and sex are abundant these days and much easier to find and get than love. Love is the most valuable thing in life; but it's scarce and hard to find.
Money and sex are abundant? Lmfao
But that’s scary in itself also with how abundant it is neither sex has any value for each other no more 😢
An honorable, pious person is hard to find
Sir. You took the words out of my mouth
@@mrb2643like a gem but also make yourself a human being of worth and value in order to find the same we can’t be a mess and expect to find the perfect partner don’t work that way
Amen! It’s both ways though. Most women don’t have issues with nurturing and providing a peaceful home. Their cup can run dry when there is lack of support from the man coupled with raising children. I fully agree with you but it’s need to be both ways.
I’m glad you pointed that out bc too often it seems like the responsibility is placed on the woman to keep a relationship together. There are so many books, talks or sermons on things women should do, to get a man. What about the men? What about how they should show up for women? Culture tells them to not get married and it seems to tell us we should do everything possible to earn a spot in their lives. It goes both ways.
💯
Deflect, deflect, deflect...just look in the mirror and fix it.
Yes this seems to be telling us women once again that if we want to be loved and appreciated, we have to suck up all the 💩 these men throw at us and keep being supportive. But no mention of the man doing any of that good supportive stuff. And then the men who comment here want to gaslight us by saying it isn't so. I will not show love and support for abuse.
💯
What she said was so deep. She is very insightful. Words of wisdom.
With a wife comes love, nurturing, support and affection. Glory! AMEN!
If she isn’t a narcissist 😂
Respect first because if she loves me , support and affection but still disrespectful it means nothing to us
But it's very rare these days
"Allegedly"
It has to be reciprocal, must women just give and give until they pop off. She needs love, nurturing, support and affection too.
All people desire this. These are shared qualities.
Just listen to what she said. She's talking about MEN🤦🏿♂️
G.T.F.O.H!! She was speaking about men. You're part of the damn problem.
Yes she is talking about men here. I'd like to hear her perspective on why women get married.
Smh. Forever hard headed
Women know that she was talking about *MEN,* not weak males.
I never pulled back… he kept accounts of my flaws, he judged me and found fault in everything I did…and all along he was doing the exact things he accused me of… he wasn’t ready and I stop defending myself and gave him the peace ✌🏾 he so deserved…
Amen to that 🙏🙏🙏
Wait... so you threw him in the wood chipper? 😂
Ya she did, nicely saying it & she did what was best!! Good for her!!! @@endofsociety
That's why I ask why all these experts are always advising women & not men
@@sabinamuriithi1339because the consequences of choosing poorly affects women disproportionately. Males are inspired by female beauty (internal and external) so who you are attracts who you end up with and what he can become with your support.
If female empowerment is to ultimately become the man you want then what good is a man? Men also need guidance and role models. Both need to work together to build a strong family.
Wisest lady😮!! She got it exactly right!!! 😊
The culture is telling him that his is the prize the Bible says when a man finds a wife he found a good thing. In most of my couples counseling sessions the wife stopped being nurturing because it’s not because she’s comparing him to another man. She’s comparing him to him. Holding him accountable for the way he treats her. Marriage is about five & take. Most men are takes they don’t necessarily want to give. The wives I see in my practice are tired of being unappreciated, not having their needs met, their husbands talking to them & threading them like trash. As well as unrealistic expectations. How can you mistreat someone then expect them to treat you better than you are treating them that is unrealistic. Marriage is a partnership where you are playing on the same team & building together. If the husband is tearing the wife down how can he expect her to hold him down. No
Wow queen! You so on point with this. That is it, what we men always been wanting to say but don’t want women to take it the wrong way. Much respect to this queen 👸🏾 🫡🙏🏾
This woman is spot on. So well said.
Finally the concept of marriage and roles simplified by this lady...brilliant and perfect reasoning from a man's point of view
Excellent point. Love does not conquer all, if you do not allow it.
That is straight talk
After 43 years that is the clearest description of success I have heard. I can cook, clean, make money but having a wife with those 4 things is gold.
I was all these to him but he left. No I take that back. He ghosted me. GHOSTED 😔
B@@OnMyGrindNowForever He'll realize your worth later on. He's not use to real love yet. He's use to the drama type perhaps. When they get through using him, he'll be crawling back to you. You never no what you got till it's gone. Just maybe, his rejection is God's protection for you. You have a choice, take him back or you move on. He'll see the light one day but don't wait, if it's meant for you, spirit will send him back to you, then you'll know God wants you two together.
@karlsmith2451
Thank you Karl. That makes me feel so much better. I have been trying to move on. I pray everyday that I wake up and the pain is no longer there. But it is everyday still...sigh. I'm tired of being so pained but I can't seem to speed up the healing process no matter how much I try. I guess I just need to keep taking things one day at a time.
@@OnMyGrindNowForever it never is easy but you get stronger and better doing the latter. You will be so happy and thankful that you did the work.🙏
@iRespectMen SMDH...
No matter how much love, nurturing, and support you provide, if someone is determined to cheat, they will find a way. It's important to remember that trust and commitment come from within, not just from what you offer. Protect your heart!
Trash comment, video is about love not cheating, ur reality isn't everyone elses
There will always be men & women that cheat because they think they can get away with it. The people that do it best know exactly what to say & do. As a guy, I've only noticed one trait that stands out among the few I know whom have cheated. They like sports & drinking.
The problem for a lot of us is we're attracted to the opposite so a good person desires someone more wild, different from themselves.
Something that is talked about in the bible is the body desires things that go against the spirit, which leads to many things people shouldn't do.
All the guys I know that got married are afraid of their wife. They're out hunting, working in the garage, working late...hiding away because everything they do in their house upsets their wife.
The wife gets upset about travel plans, about dinner, about furniture or messes, shoes, toys, finances, dishes, laundry, trash. And if it isn't done her way she is upset. She wants his money & her money even if she works. Men will choose peace over all that. But are likely committed for the children & his promise made. Women are initiating divorce at 80% vs 20% men. Child support lack of custody, men have a lot to lose.
Women will find love much faster because a homeless women will always be favored over a homeless man.
Most men struggle because there is no love from parents, friends & such at the same level women are loved. Guys don't get love & don't desire that from anyone but the one he marries. Women get love from everyone in their circle.
EXACTLY!! when a woman speak up she's no longer eligible. Women give all that in the beginning but he took it for granted and now she's not worthy?!? Oh ok
@@dreahkay3718facts
Exactly
💯... This needs to be played on all media outlets..
Man, this lady IS LOVE!
Wow! True. 10 years married, and I feel this. Thank you for this reminder!
In a relationship, we have to make sure not to take each other for Granted. Keep, the Love and Communication alive
I am in agreement! Man Be Authentic From The Beginning So I Know Who I Am Truly Dealing With. Lead With YourTruth And Not Your Representative ! Give Me The Choice In The Beginning To Stay Or Leave The Relationship 💐
That’s the realest talk coming from a women who knows what she is talking about. I heard a lot of online talk, but thats real FACTS.
If only this were true.
Plenty of wives doing that and more and the husband cheats, abuses, undermines, Leaves.
It takes TWO dedicated, committed, loyal people. Period.
This!
Yes, I do NOT agree with anything OP is saying.
Totally agree xxx
Ese tipo de hombre es el que tú elegiste. Boba.
Get out of the circle of people you know. I have been with my wife for 19 years and we are both happy and loyal. It’s people with no morals that step out our abuse people. My wife is a very successful lady and if I treated her bad she would leave and that’s for the both of us. What God put together no man can break.
I like this viewpoint and I agree. My only caveat is that it will only be beneficial to the man alot of times. A woman would have to force herself not to ever think about herself, how she feels, or how reciprocity actually works. If a woman changes over time that means he probably did too or he has done many things for her to harbor resentment and such. So in a perfect world this would absolutely work for both sides but it’s usually not the case. People don’t delve deeper into why the relationship is actually not working. Women typically give more effort than men and men are the ones who generally stop doing the things he started off doing in the relationship once he’s “comfortable.” That’s my opinion on it.
Wow. Very well said Miss lady.🌹
I agree 100%, alot of men once they think they got the woman, some stop doing the things they used to do to fuel her excitement in the first place.
Just like a car, you stop fuelling, stop maintaining it, it stops working.
Once she's hooked, you stop putting in efforts. What did you expect?
It's only normal.
Relationship is a two-way street.
@@derlyhtcreole3811- Hmmmm 🤔 car huh...
Cars take the same gas & don't complain. They require minimal time and effort, and rarely descent, no matter how matter factly u treat them. Cars never ask for more than they require. Not what they desire. U can't full up, car doesn't complain. 5 bux or 50, the car faithfully runs til E.
Women who are treated very well consistently say the men doing so for them are too nice. The interwebs is full of tiktox of women who cheated on & discarded men who tried to keep the same energy in relationships with them start to finish. & Their ideal replacement for those men were irresponsible, unreliable, insecure and unpredictable bros.
ORRR no matter what he does it isn't enough, so the rose he 1st brought & was treasured now is left on the counter until it dies. The conversation he used to tickle u with casually is now usurped by group texts with frenemies. Random Nibbles on your ear are now met with shooing motions.But cars don't have changing love languages. They don't care whether u whisper or scream while banging on the steering wheel. Whether u kick the tires or slam the hood. They're ready when u r. Women usually ARE NOT. SO STOP COMPLAINING. U wanted it this way.
I completely disagree with that, although i respect that you have a right to your own opinion.
I personally feel that men are generally more simple creatures and notice a much larger pattern of relationships failures and divorce because its usually the man busting his gut, to provide for a woman who can and never will be satisfied because its all about “ me, me, me ! )
True. It's like she woke up with resentment one day outta the blue 😅😅
You are so wise not to mention correct. God bless you and all you love!
Love, nurturing, support, affection
Vs.
Bitter, resentful, measuring flaws, comparing him to other men
Same applies from men towards women.
Ive been married 40 yrs.....You are right.....Ive got his back....Always
I love this woman. She’s not afraid to speak the truth about today’s women
I agree. She’s speaking Truth, Wisdom.
Which truth . . . We are all living in different realities . . . !
What if you have been offering love, affection and nurturing, but if there is no development in his life to promote family life? We have 3 kids, and he is in the same place we have been since we started. I had to change in order to get some kind of results from him. The burden was too heavy on me. He got too laid back about my value in the marriage.
@imaginecaribbean5002
Your inner being knows what you desire . . . Deep down inside you know what you should do . . . I kept fighting that feeling for 23 years . . . Sometimes you just need to get out of the way and lead your life . . . It does not matter what you do . Only God changes people . . . And the person must also want to change . . .
@@Blessed591 Yes, I agree. I have been helping and helping and helping, and I realize I was just frustrating myself. Helping someone who is comfortable with no progress. Now because of his inaction on the same things that have been braying about him fixing, set us back about 5 years so now we have to play catch up. And the expenses and needs of the kids are way over our heads right now. I want to work with him, my heart is screaming to work with him to build our family, but I am afraid that he will lapse back into that daydreaming again. So I am staying in my corner and doing my thing until I see what I want to see. I want to feel like the woman that I am. Not the provider, and hunter.
😊❤ THIS IS REAL - TIME TRUTHFUL MESSAGE .
THIS LADY IS ON POINT 👉 👈 👇 👌 👏 💯 .
Profound message!
He who finds a "Wife " finds a great thing! 🔥🔥🥂
And receives favor from the Lord. Amen
1st corinthians 7:28 but those who marry will face many troubles in this life and I want to spare you this. 😮😮
That’s in the Bible also: FYI.
@@kevinharrissr5255Everyone married or not will face troubles.
Lord "WHO". The Landlord?
Good counseling. Congrats dear Mom. More of such messages especially for the younger couples. God bless you.
She put the nail in the coffin.
FACTS
Maybe in yours😂.
Ms. Lady. This is powerful. I enjoyed your message today. It is my hope that all who hears this message really give your words some serious thought. I am about to turn 70 years old next month and I still have some female friends that are a little older that I am that still have not learned what you have just said. I personally don’t understand why some people females don’t get your point and still want bad boys in their lives. Thank you for your for your very kind knowledge of truth. I wish you continued success with all of your future videos and endeavors and I also wish you continued success financially as well. Thank you again. Oh, one last thing. I am going to send this video to many of my female friends and family members. Plus I am going to send this message to the men as well. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Beautifully spoken🙌🏾🙌🏾. Thank you, ma'am for breaking that down. 🙏🏾
Na-ah, when a wife becomes “bitter, resentful and pulls-back from her husband”, likely because she’s not happy in her marriage … Often times because of her husband’s behaviors…
My husband had an affair with his female boss … and like a fool, I forgave him after he cried & seemed remorseful & founded another job.
Then, he had an outside baby on me and suggested that ‘we should raised, the “outside baby” in our house-hold”, oh-hell-no, I stood my ground.
Nope, that-was-like-enough already …
We divorced, and he remarried and pulled the same crap with the current wife. However, they are still together, but they sleep in separate rooms.
Really, instead of being bitter & resentful, get back your peace of mind … But, I guess to each his own b-cuz people deal with things differently.
But real-talk, ain’t no wife suppose to nurture no grown man - a potential spouse supposed to already fully nurtured by his own mother/guardian and come prepared to be a functioning, responsible adult within the Union of the marriage…
Exactly!! This woman is what they call a 'pick me'.. Generalized statement blaming women for relationship issues doesn't make sense. Why does she assume that it's the woman's fault?
If he wasn't so toxic then the woman would be nurturing and loving. A woman is a reflection of how he treats her.
There are people who are toxic for the sake of being toxic, this goes for men as well as for women.
I see. I guess your parents are of no use to ur upbringing.
Men and women complete eachother. That is how God intended it to be. Today's society is destroying this... turning away from God and how things are intended to be with a lot of pain an suffering as the result.
@@pietdijkman1980It’s not society fault, it’s feminism!
Thanks for the explanation. 👍 Some of us don't know, our parents didn't teach us that.
Godspeed
EXACTLY 💯 MATTER Of FACT They Wasn't TAUGHT On PURPOSE. TO Keep Ignorant Easy To Mold.
@@valerieriggins3184 🩳🧶🧩🔋🟢🟩
Be wary of relationship/marriage advice from the internet. It's all gift.
This woman's advice is very generalized. Relationships are not general. Specific variables are in play. Take everything on social media with a grain of salt. I take it for entertainment value.
@Shannon-gr7rm Well, that was stupid. This lady is sincerely speaking the truth about marriage.
“Marrying means to halve one's rights and double one's duties”
You are precisely correct, my dear sister. I truly appreciate you for your pure insight .
If that was true then when men cheat, they'd cheat by hugging or being affectionate with another woman, but we all know what they do when they cheat. No cheater was ever after a hug or just affection.
And who is it that a man cheats on his wife / girlfriend with ?
Another woman ! Another woman who’s married or in a relationship !
@@23lnp Exactly, women go on like men cheat only eith other men. And they also go on like they don’t cheat way more than men, which is definitely the case. They’re biggest gaslighters! 😂
@23lnp not always. They could be single, which is bad just the same if they know the guy is taken. Women cheat too of course and their sorry "excuse"? he never complimented her anymore or he didn't show her he loved her anymore, so she ran of with the first one who did. Imho, the truth is that we are very complex creatures and marriage takes a lot of work. Not everyone is cut out for marriage but most seem to think they are.
Humans aren't a monogamous species. In society you may be told not to bed others but that'd take some self discipline and control. 9.9 times out of 10 you will be cheated on, guys even tell you it's not natural to be with just one...
They're out there falling in love with, hugging and kissing and having 2nd families when they cheat. Facts.
You are 100% correct. Thank you.
💯 percent!!! Always measuring against other men ALWAYS!!!
She 💯 correct, .👏👏 Amazing to hear this intelligent woman say that..
When I got married I knew she was the one and I knew we would look after each other and share all the house cores. The most important think is that we were and still determined not to be dependent upon the so called therapists or any outside influence. A couple that know and trust each other know how make the relationship durable and desired day by day.
Respect girl. To the point and factual. Hence why I’m divorced
When you pour out all that's in your cup without being filled, you become empty. What else can I give him?
He has to be healthy in the first place. And unhealthy man often doesn't really know what he is looking for and the things a normal and healthy man would want he can't appreciate
All men expect you to put them before yourself and will never put you before them. Enjoy your life of servitude. Or get some homegirls and enjoy being alive.
Exactly that love❤&support goes both ways 💁🏽♀️men can’t be expecting all that without reciprocating She will definitely burnout It’s not rocket science Why do ppl post this stuff like it’s only men who want/deserve this things? Any relationship that isn’t balanced is unhealthy
@@angelab6619 it’s not just the unhealthy ones. You’re talking about a unicorn.
Choose better men.
Wow this is a very smart woman cant be more clear and precise. Bravo you are a true soul ❤️
Giving affection and love has no gender and can diaclose itself in different ways.❤
I mean disclose
Thank you God help me to appreciate my husband and forgive me for the bitterness and let no one come between us .
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Amen
But why are you bitter?? Because he's not a very good person yet you're still blaming yourself smdh
No matter how much love, nurturing, and support you provide, if someone is determined to cheat, they will find a way. It's important to remember that trust and commitment come from within, not just from what you offer. Protect your heart! that the truth.
Amen!
Women needs to start taking cheating out of the equation as they are the biggest cheaters 🤷🏿♂️
You just copy and paste that some slick move from you?...
She could’ve said the sky is blue and you would have a rebuttal but not at night. 🤦🏽♂️
Cheaters are not the topic
Oh she’s talking to you
Well, this is true for some men. Other men will marry someone that works and pays all the bills so they can chill.
That’s not a man. That’s a boy
😂
That's true.
😂
with respect, he is doing the same, pulling back on the qualities he originally offered: generosity of spirit, kindness, thoughtfulness, support, loyalty and any other voluntary action that demonstrates love/affection/caring
I have been through a relationship with a woman who has compared me to other men and started magnifying the one thing that I did over all of the 12 other good things that I bought to the relationship and she ended up losing a good man and now she doesn't want to see me with anyone else but I am happy being single because I was the best cook in the house and I was raised by a man who taught me how to be a man
Standin on business bruh👏🏾
Keep that high self esteem fam.
The right woman will make her self known ro u and show an unbelievable amount of interest in you, so much that u'll say "yo she really rockin wit me"
Godbless fam🫡
Wow much blessings to you
EXACTLY! This is why it’s important for a man to meet his own needs. All of this marriage shit sounds very codependent. Plus the attraction between the couple eventually fades
Mine has grown stronger in my 26th yr and am more tender with her than ever. It takes awhile to grow lasting things, and man, was she patient with me. My foundation for Loving her is Jesus.