Basically Hags
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One of my favorite bits of trivia: The Night Hag is a Fiend, while all other hags are Fey. Imagine the kind of jerk it takes to have your membership card revoked by other hags.
They left the fay wilds for the nine hells so fiends they became. The lower planes are notorious for turning creatures into Devils, Fiends, and Demons just by being down there for too long.
@@deanreaver3268 I know what you mean but Hades (where they have their very own trade emporium) isn’t in the Nine Hells. Hades is an entirely independent plane, 6 o‘clock on the planar wheel thingy.
I think it’s neat that they’re neutral evil, like they’re being distinguished as separate entities from chaotic evil demons and lawful evil devils despite dwelling in the lower planes
@@eggsmcbenedict they created Yugoloths, which are basically the neutral evil equivalent if demons and devils
To be fair, making the yugoloths was a dick move to litteraly everyone, probably even the yugoloths themselves
We fought a night hag coven a couple sessions ago. Due to a couple botched stealth checks, our bard, while invisible, panicked and ran inside the mill that was their lair when one opened the door. Realizing he was trapped inside, he panicked again and dumped out his bag of caltrops onto the stairs to slow her down as he tried to figure out how to escape.
Unfortunately for him, she managed to make her save coming up the stairs and wasn't slowed down any.
Panicking again, he decided to use thunder wave to slow her down and break a window in the same action. This time she failed her dexterity save and took the full force of the spell, knocking her down the stairs. Along with the caltrops he threw down just before.
Watching this I excitedly asked if she made her dex save against the caltrops. Nat 1. I also took this moment to point out that normally caltrops deal 1 damage, and 1+1d4 usually represented how many you stepped on.
Our bard, as if struck by the gods of inspiration, excitedly asked if he could roll to see how many of the caltrops hit her as they were flung back by the thunder wave. The DM thought about it and nodded, thinking it was reasonable. She asked how many he threw down, and we all realized he didn't specify. I looked at the item table and mentioned that a whole bag of caltrops was about 100.
Everyone's eyes lit up as we realized what was brewing. He asked if he could roll a D100 to determine the number of hits. Our DM, will a look of terror at what she agreed to, nodded.
He rolled a 74.
74+2d8 damage in a single hit.
And that's how our party accidentally discovered the thunder wave shotgun and nearly one shot a night hag.
Of all this, the best part is "nearly one shot" holy carp
Niiiiice
Get Home Alone’d
actual looney tunes
"corrupted, like my oblivion save file in 2012 that ruined my life"
goddamn, right in the feels. pouring one out for our lost characters.
* **Weeps openly and bitterly** *
And then bethesda learned nothing and made skyrim
@@mgb360 Actually, they not only learned nothing, but forgot important simple lessons which is evident in the Entirety of Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
It was a mercy
Oblivion: The only winning move is not to play..
Fuck level scaling.
Why don't you keep 3 saves per character?
Ah yes, the Hansel and Gretel story. Or H.A.G.S. for short
Oh, my gods! Yes.
We would like to formally thank you for your contributions to humanity
I don't know where you stole that from, but it's gold and I'm stealing it from you.
@@Kainpound
Go for it, and while I'm sure that there were many influences (mainly that he mentioned hansel and gretel in the video), that was just something from the top of my head. Hell, I'm probably not the only person to have made the joke in these comments.
@@sonan333 you're definitely not the first one to come up with it, but the fact that you thought of it yourself does give you some points
Fun fact: Sea Hags are CR 2, meaning you can summon them right off the bat when you get the Conjure Woodland Beings spell. And becuase of how the speel is worded, they fey you summon are freindly to you. Congrats! You got a creepy sea grandma to scare your foes.
“That’s it, I’m summoning Grandma!”
@@gingergrant1057 Meanwhile, The Paladin is freaking out in the corner.
Darien B to death. Literally. Creatures she scares she can the subsecuentialy kill with a glance
@@jbblades2835 that's right! The DM is gonna see this and forever ban the Conjure Woodland Beings spell after the pixie incident.
@@gingergrant1057
No one can beat the power of God, Anime, and Grandma.
7:20 "O' daughters, O' sons. O' Roses and Guns. I seek to find a baby born, and force upon it's parents scorn."
Literally killed me, I think you're a real Hag.
And you just stand there like, “WTF is happening right now?”
So basically this hag wants to make some parents hate their own child?
@@Daddy-ue1du Sounds like a hag thing to do.
I don't get what that means
"From the scorn, they turn to mourne. From their arms, their baby torn. A deed so vile, the parents would bile, in a pot, the child shall be, boiling water, to cook for 3. Adding ingredients so very smelly, it will be good inside me belly. Oh! I hear a boy! I hear him cry! It's time to take to nights sky! I see him! I'll swoop down! Come little boy, in boiling water you shall drown!"
Hags having a wacky race through a swamp and ignoring the PCs would be a pretty ?fun? encounter.
Natasel don’t forget the mustard
Adding that to the list of random encounters. The players will never actually interact with the hags, they'll just see them racing by.
Hag Gran Prix to decide who has the sickest ride would be fucking rad
With or without banjo music and a race announcer?
@@TiroDvD are you stupid? Both
Imagine stepping into a forest, see 3 old Lady’s on Giant mud-covered boars barrel towards you and hear them chanting „We are the Green Hags, we speak to the fleas!“
For the fleas have no voice, no voice save we!
We speak for the fleas, for the fleas have no bum!
“And the fleas speak to we.”
"To ensure their continued jumping superiority, you now forfeit your knees!"
Either give us your child, OR ALL OF YOUR KNEES!
Neutral evil characters be like, "yeah my grandma's a hag. I mean she's evil but she's not a dick about it, asks for a tithing of like, three children to be her apprentices every generation but we haven't had a single complication with childbirth and no kids in the village have starved to death since she started living in the swamp down the road."
Legit, though, that’s a pretty sweet deal for a pre-modern society. Birth complications and childhood starvation were major killers in the past. Now I just imagine the little village starts to grow and thrive from all the extra people who aren’t dying, and so the Hag comes back and asks for more children per generation. The town still grows until it is a major city, and the hag has kept increasing her toll over time until she is asking for a horrifically hig number of sacrifices to “protect” such a large metropolis. Theoretically, more people are still being saved than sacrificed, but nonetheless the raw number has gotten too big to ignore. Meanwhile, the Hag has amassed a large coven of daughter hags by replacing all the sacrificed children with her own changeling spawn. She now has a stranglehold over the city like some freakish mob boss.
@@samiamrg7 until the local paladin order with a weird paladin dragon,ogre, and like one grandma is coming for them... the grandma is the scariest as she is a inverse of a hag and just found out her grandson was taken by them and now their getting a whooping (this actully happened in game, i swear grandma was summoning angels left, right, and center cause you don't mess with grandma it was glorious well besides your idea ours was more hag coven has taken over city, we failed to stop it, income paladin order with paladin dragon, paladin ogre, and our paladins grandma who isn't apart of the order but will still kick your ass)
From death, pestilence, war and famine turn this Noble warrior into a salmon
Underrated comment
my players: *begging me to let them invent cars*
me: "no that's dumb"
wotc: bro just do it
12345 67890 so... stinking cloud or cloudkill? Or incendiary cloud?
Decent into Avernus lets you pretty much have a tank so...
@@thorkveld Yep. _Descent Into Avernus_ is basically DnD Mad Max, with guzzeline replaced with souls.
@@thorkveld can confirm.
In a game im playing we were being chased exactly à la fury road and all was fine and fun until one of our wizards figured it was a good idea to cast Tidal Wave on them.
Fuck spellcasters they ruin all the fun.
@@user-ft3jq5vi2l that's actually a really cool idea
If Hags learned the potential of using flip flops as weapons then we will all be screwed.
abuelahags
@@bobmcbob49 Dude! You scared my cat with my laughter!
Fear the chancla...
Sandle of Seeking
Clearly hags can cast Shillelagh on em
"Hags have go-karts"
Ok, now I want to see a kart racing game featuring nothing but hags. Someone at least needs to make that an SRB2Kart overhaul mod.
closest thing we have is this :) store.steampowered.com/app/320540/Coffin_Dodgers/
Hags whenever they chose a vehicle basically just abuse the physics engine and clip into anything riding it around. Thats what baba yaga did. Hags are just hacker grandmas.
Glitcher grandmas
Reasonable girth is my favored terrain.
These ranger subclasses are getting weird, damn.
@@d.armstrong2553 coom stalker
Dr. Zoidberg demands to know if you're coming on to him...
Ah, a man of culture.
Same
Our parties Paladin (my lovely self), had to 1v1 a Sea Hag in an under water cave. I was a level 3 mad lad and doinked it in 3 rounds, only getting hit once.
>I am the hag slayer
>Grandmas fear me
Beowulf wrote this
Those are not words I would use when saying I defeated a Sea Hag.
In other news, my drink in now in my nose
@@thedoomslayer8900 O h m y g o s h. Looking at this a year later, that phrasing could've been better.
@@ElvenHound Absolutely, but it's incredibly hilarious and I thank you for the laughs
@@thedoomslayer8900 And I have no intentions to edit this gem.
Hey all! I'm the Artist for Retrograde - It's worth mentioning that we've also got a Hag unit over in our BBEG section!
Hey man love what you guys do. I just started dming for dnd and needed something to show the creatures, and I have to say your work is perfect for me.
@@trystan2956 We do our best :) Got some Christmas units dropping on Dec. 1st too, in case you want to get seasonal in your game!
Big Bad Evil Granny
7:30
When you miss every hit
and your opponents crit
when your opponents get like 8-12 crits over the course of a battle and manage to jump on to a moving train to escape you
I don't know why, but seeing Yzma reflect a magic missile with a mirror on her hip killed me.
2:35 Logan truly is a master poet.
Having Monty Python as a starting point really helps
@@wea69420 He who crosses the bridge of death, must answer thee, these questions three. Ere the other side he see.
@@mennograafmans1595
What are the questions?
@@Daddy-ue1du Depends on who tries to cross the bridge. Watch the documentary of English early medievel history: Monty Python and the Holy Grail for more details.
Mentions having a cold heart, shows a character from league of legends known for having the biggest heart.
You didn't say night hags left the feywild for the much more appealing nine hells and thus became fiends
Not just the Hells. The Lower Planes in general. I think their main plane is Gehenna
@@sylph8005 Right I forgot, they even made sweet deals with the General of Gehenna
@@LeBigsou No, they made the General of Gehenna
@@sylph8005 Welp, I should really go back and study my lore from the start
Every TH-camr: Plant trees
Runesmith: Hags
I mean, do you blame em?
A hag probably has a potion somewhere that can regrow the Amazon, as long as you are fine with there being no birds
I mean, an hag somewhere probably has a potion that regrows the Amazon but kills all birds
@@defensivekobra3873 oh i thought from your first comment that the new trees would eat the birds
(whispers)
*He's setting it up so the hags can can live in the new grown forest...*
@@DkKombo why whould *i* do that, unless i am an hag in secret?
Also how did you figure out i was male?
A pact of the archfey warlock with a hag patron sounds fun and interesting to play
I always wanted to do a campaign where hags are the only ones that know the secret to creating magic items, so all magic items in the game are hag items.
Runesmith, you always know how to make my day.
fun fact: the blob fish doesn't actually look like that: they live deep under water and have no bones so when they are brought out of it,their bodies start to blob but they just look like normal fish otherwise.
Don't talk about my mom like that!
Ha! Nice cursed magic item that eats people poophead, did your *mom* make it for you?
@defenseive kobra why yes! yes she DID *proceeds to eat your feet*
@@hattsbygaming2861 *casts vicous mockery*
Runesmith: Gaelic is a language that doesn't make sense.
English: Am I a joke to you?
Yep. English has 'ph = f'. Is 'bh = v' really all that much more confusing?
@@ncasey9853 Celtic languages care very little about the sounds individual letters make, and that can be confusing for non-native speakers. English is the result of wandering around mugging other languages for spare bits of grammar, letters, and pronunciation, which makes it _absolutely bizarre_ to non-native speakers.
@@HoundofOdin I know, just pointing out the bh sound tends to be the one that trips people up a lot, like in the video, despite the existence of the name Stephen, or elephant in English.
I never quite could get the hang of non-english languages because every time we started about giving inanimate objects gender pronouns i ended up flummoxed till the end of the class.
N Casey at least English only does that occasionally. Gaelic and similar languages basically never use the letters in the word, they just kind of make a sound that is about 10% what you expected the word to sound like.
If your hag coven doesnt ride on some slugs going 40mph like a biker gang, than you've found your problem
...let's make it *exactly* like IT and create a clown hag variant
my take on Hansel and Grettle was the hag was the stepmother because she was the one who kept sending the kids to go into the woods and when the witch dies she also happens to dissapear, and in the version i read the dad didn't know why she disappeared he just mentioned she did
More like "Basically My Ex Wife" am I right guys? Haha she took full custody of my kids.
KAREN!
And THEN she ate them.
Dad?
Why Charlene? Why did you leave me for Richard from Accounting? So he could teach you lichdom? What else does he have that I don't? Your love?
I once ran a Hag encounter against the party: Her name was Gertrude Greentooth. You guessed it, she had green, rotting teeth. They would grow back instantly after she ripped her own teeth out, and if she did rip them out, she could throw them and the tooth would shatter into little frag grenades.
It was one of my most unique encounters ever run.
6:20
You know, that might end up being part of a campaign that I will probably never do
Hag encounter idea: a sea hag whose lair is a reanimated zombie whale she hollowed out and rides around inside like a sentient mobile home. The party gets knocked off the ship they're on after the whale yeets itself at the port side full tilt. Then they get gulped pinocchio-style
I've become more obsessed with the newish Hexblood lineage so rewatching this happily
“Scadoodle, scadeen! I curse you with small spleen!”
3:59 But Braum is a very kind and helpful man, the Heart of the Freljord. :I
Hence why they love him, they want to corrupt him
This is literally my favorite video you have ever made💜💚🩵🩶
5:00 too soon, I needed a warning. I was never able to lock up the gate, and shut close the jaws of oblivion...
Retro Grade Minis are truly something else. Great find.
Fun idea for running hags is to lean into the unpredictability aspect by making them friendly towards the party at first
Would be cool to try to steal a hag's chicken legged house, a mobile home for the party
A teacher at this fantasy school I made is a hag with advanced arcane and other magics. She's magiced herself to look like a young woman, and is kind yet sinister towards the students. She's the main Illusion instructor. Thanks for giving me ideas for two other hag teachers!
At 0.31. 🤣🤣
What a way to both diss and give a plug for a friend. That face is... Powerful. 😂
hags: also known as evil granny inspector gadget
Besides being evil they sound like awesome grandma's to have.
5:49 Ah shit, love me some DD! And D&D. That’s why I combined them into the only dungeon my party has ever straight up run away from in terror. 10/10.
I still want a sorcerer class based on Hags. Maybe "What happens if, by some weird magical fuck-up, the babies they eat and poop out again don't turn into hags at age 13?" or something.
We just faced forest grandma ( green hag) in the game I play in
Everyone laughed at Galven ( my shadow sorccerer pure white tiefling ) when he said ' ehh aunt jena told us stories of forest grandmothers , they take the bad kids that go to far into the woods , and then the ehhh kids are never seen "
Then we found the skull of the kid we were looking for in her magic soup, where she was magic a magic staff with his soul
6:49 jar of heat seeking bees.
im trying to become a dm and these videos dont make me feel guilty for not studying the books. thanks runesmith!
Low key, you should definitely at least read the monster manual if you can. Not because you're a DM, but because the stuff in there is awesome.
@@khamulthewack4732 tbh i think its also cool to constantly be suprised by the dm and not know how the monsters work, like a fog of war
I'm pretty sure there's a post going round tumblr that has links to places where you can find the books for free. I know I found it on the blog Quincy's Recipes.
@@candy-coatedrose513 most of them can be found on anyflip.
This video is genius. You always pack so much into your videos that I watch 'em more than once. Bravo
I'm running a hag adventure right now and I'm so glad to see so much content on youtube about it
If you could do a video on Hag magic items in the next like month I will be forever grateful. Doesn't even have to be items, just half-assed ideas I can throw into a hut last minute
I don't have a Patreon, but my fellow adventurers, let's support the Retrograde Minis!! Either through word of mouth or an actual donation 😊
"cold heart" picks the warmest hearted character in leauge of legends
I think a good interpretation of their "corruption" is that they do the *most* fucked up things they can and display it publicly, but also make it known that they can offer help to anybody who truly needs it. But then turns out the material components for her not-poor spell was 40 burning babies, because what'd you expect getting help from granny kid-eater? Then she'd magically haunt your dreams with the sounds and sights of burning flesh and cries of utter agony, manipulating you into thinking it was all your fault, and she did all that to fuck with you. Fun warlock patrons.
Logan: *Three People Per Marriage* 5:30
That... That absolute madlad
I binged these 3 years ago and now that BG3 came out I forgot half it.
Spoilers: The hag quest line is one of my most favourite ones. Especially since I didnt know about hags. If I'd have known they like being flattered I wouldn't have pissed her off so much.
Point stands in fighting a hag in her home. What a battle.
So, regarding how hags basically collect knowledge that for some reason no one knows, that gives me an idea for an NPC.
Basically, a hag (most likely either a Silat or a Green Hag) decided to play the long game with corrupting things (or just doesn't care), so instead of being granny's evil doppleganger she instead maintains an archive of the bizarre, dark and esoteric knowledge she's gathered and recorded throughout her many centuries within a hut that's much larger on the inside than the outside. All are welcome to browse this sinister library of shadows, but beware, for you may find knowledge man was not meant to know, or stumble across a cursed tome the hag forgot she made and end up as a newt.
I'm pretty stoked for Initial D hag drifting.
5:16 I want to make Weird Al as an illusionist now.
I love that you have so many of these. I'm DMing an encounter soon that has a hag involved and was pleasantly surprised to see you had a Basically video of them. Get me some knowledge AND entertainment!!
Ayy More Runesmith. Keep 'em coming dude, you're content is amazing
It's all fun and games in a coven, until a bunch of paladins come and kill everyone and burn everything down on charges of witchcraft heresy and possibly mutation.
My grandmother had a some brandy for 10 years that we saved for my highschool graduation
How was it?
@@BJGvideos
Solid 👌
i stg these always come out EXACTLY when I need!! I wanted a hag in my backstory and I went to check TH-cam, and boom, an upload!
dude you just keep getting better. 2:22 destroyed me xD
This is honestly exactly what I've been looking for as an outlet for my various 'weird magic' ideas. Thank you so much for bringing my attention to this.
This is really funny to me as I just came from playing a character that’s all about summoning hags
Thanks, the bags o' teeth ties in nicely with the goblins in my campaign setting, who collect teeth for use as currency. It even helps explain where their shamanic/warlock leadership obtains their power.
Dude I just came upon your channel and even thought I haven't played d&d in 30+ yrs, this is great stuff. I started watching it thinking nerds still do this? Yeah, 7 videos later , you have a new sub. Thanks for the laughs
The call to action in the description of ''Click this'' is just so simple yet pure I'm cracking up xD
Even the demon Lords and the Lords of the nine Hells the devil princess fear the most powerful and the oldest of The Hags for it is known that the oldest coven of Hags has a very unique very powerful book which contains all the true names of all the demon Lords and all the devil Lords
And they also create beings halfway between the two with power to rival both that's why it's common to find them both on pandamonium and and Hades
ive been trying to make a "witch" class based on hag magic
they are basically full casters that max out at 5th level spell slots but get a lot of spell slots and can only reach higher level spells through "coven spells" which require them to enter a coven with at least 2 other casters. when casting in this way the witch calls upon the other two to use their reaction to add spell levels onto a spell being cast. the idea of it is to be a class that the more casters there are in the party the stronger it gets but it burns resources fast and is weaker than all other full casters if alone.
its like half done. im also working on crafting rules for the one use items he spoke of
0:30 that one dislike that the video has might come from xp...
I really missed a great plot idea when my Old-ass Chaotic Evil Cleric got hit on by a Hag... I saved a small child because she made a fun flail, instead of getting the magic shite from a hag? REEEE
I've lived all my life in a house full of older women and can confirm they're all like this.
3:58 DON'T SAY BEST DAD HAS A COLD HEART!
I remember my bard flirted with a hag and she was so lonly that she offerd a warlock pact
Or a shrunken head of a spellcaster Frozen with the last word of a powerful spell still on its lips and when it's activated the spell activates
6:33 didnt make me disgusted
you failed my friend
These hags sound about 1000 times more fun to deal with than the ones in Skyrim
Did i mention I have been playing D&D since the 70's? Did I mention i love your channel? Now I did. Great stuff.
''Nega-Grandmas''
Had that been said slighty faster it would've been a disaster
Nigga grandma
Nigga grandma
woah, thanks for sharing retrograde minis! I really like their art style !
When you and your group are absolute begginers and kill green hag in her own house all at the level 2 while playing your second session XD and you working as punching bard bag and getting up from dying state 4 times because your team feeds you a magical berries so they can sacrifice you again until they run out or hag dies.
Yay! I have always wanted this video to come out.
Insert obligatory omg this came up just as I was making a session with a hag (even tho I was and its creepy)
This is top form Runesmith 😂
Always look to see if you have a video on any creature type I may be introducing into my games.
Thanks!
FUCK YES!
I WANTED THIS FOR SO LONG!
YES! FINALLY A VIDEO ABOUT MY ANCESTRY!
Blobfish don't look like their ugly selfs naturally. They look like normal fish down in their depths. Their blobby body is just the result of what happens when you go from their insane depths, to the surface in literally no time. The flesh expands, tears, and rips, loosens, as the pressure differential does horrors to a normal fish body
bro that Oblivion save file joke hit too close to home. I was like, an hour away from beating the game but it got corrupted after spending 80 hours on it and getting to level 35
Having a hag for a d&d friend sound kinda fun, like if you need a weird magic item for a quest you have a nice interesting chat with an old lady, she most likely feeds you (cuz she’s most likely a grandma) and then you’re on your way. Someone needs to make this a campaign
Do not ask what is in the stew pot.
Untill you find out, she fed you your beloved childhood pet.
(Star)annis hag encounter we had at level 3. Killed a banderhobb that was terrorizing a local town after it ate our lizardperson twice. Lawful good warforged breaks down the door to her barn/shack. We apologize for the damage because she's got her illusions up. The druid tells her it's alright the creature outside is dead. She shouts "MY BANDERHOBB!!!!" and my -1 charisma, 70 year old human, wizard ass rolls persuasion after doing investigation on the bloody woodcarvers tools around the place. "No, it was that bitch creski about 20 miles downriver. Tracked that fucker for days." Nat 20 "Oh, fuck that bitch!" We got a surprise round and still almost died.
That starting was a really weird random encounter.
Oh man, it's WILD seeing a Retrograde Minis partnership on here; Lancer RPG sent them through the ROOF, with some 2000+ patrons now!
How about a “Basically Logan” or “Basically Jacob” video? Jk.
Unless...
"Basically Basic"
Unless...
Unless...
We don't need a basically video for them, they are basic enough.
I choked on my drink when Suddenly Yzma, great video 13/10