Whoa! I just came across this channel. I can't believe you're still on air! We listened to you on the bus back when I was in high school... 30 years ago... Got to meet and hang with y'all at a club once about 20 years ago. What a fun surprise to find you here and still rockin the air waves😁👍
I think it would benefit her to share her feelings with her new fiancé! I shared with my then boyfriend early on about my toxic and abusive relationship before him and it really helped me feel calm over the situation, and he knew that I might need extra support in dealing with things because of what I had been through. I didn't share everything with him then. but moving forward we were able to work through things in a healthy way. Communication is huge especially when things from our past comes bubbling up. 5 years together soon and we never leave things unsaid.
Agreed. And she should seek counseling too to have an objective, safe place. Plus if she’s marrying the new guy, she needs to get to a place where she’s comfortable enough with him to fully be herself.
Wow they never even had that conversation?? What a jerk to leave like that. I would worry about your own judge of character to say yes to someone who cared so little
She is definitely hoping he will try to talk her out of marrying someone else, and she's hoping he will run back to her loving arms. Doesn't sound like he's interested.
The fact she calling her ex before the wedding,her fiance need to run she not over her ex .the fiance is the back up plan.she isnt the prize ,she need help .he needs to run
This feels icky...her new fiancé is not aware that she wants closure from her previous relationship. Two years later, this is coming up...is she being honest about this ? Is she still interested in the ex and hoping for a reconciliation before it's too late to go down the aisle with a new man ? Sorry, but I gotta go there...because all I can think of is...why ? why ? why pursue this ? And now I get to the end and her 'heart is pounding'. And she is not accepting the latest info...still wants to continue digging. She is not happy at all...
Why pursue this? Hello!!!! You can't fucking hhost your fiancé and expect to go unchecked. Who does that?!? It's so painful. Lol at the damage he caused. What do you NOT see about this?
@@frenchbluehen you are clearly triggered by something that happened in your past that has made you hate men. Work it out and not take it out on all of us.
If I were her, I dang sure would NOT tell the current fiancée about contacting a Radio Station for help with getting closure with an ex-fiancee. That safe time-frame has passed. Maybe needed to tell him everything when you told him there was even an ex fiancée! WTAF?!?! He literally gave the most honest and real answer, she's off the hook!! She really ought to just be happy and move happily on!
He didn't really say anything and be really took any credit for being wrong. You forget that he went a month before the wedding before he decided to say anything, and then ghosted her! That is not acceptable! I'm glad he got called out for it because it really is ridiculous. He made up the most cliche ridiculous reason I've ever heard in my life and people just think that that's the truth. He's totally lying! And I think she knows it.
@frenchbluehen While the way he treated her was totally 💩, and yes very unacceptable, he did say that his reasoning was not her but actual Pressure, from all sides. There's nothing more to get from that. People do feel pressured to do stuff, even marriage. Doesn't make it right, but it is just that. Better than him saying how awful he thought she was or anything like that.
You dodged a major bullet, time to move on and let it go. Harping on it years after the fact is not healthy for you or your new relationship, but you could tell in her voice in the end of the call she’s not going to let this go
He didn't even say anything and only barely owned up. I feel bad that she thought it was her fault all this time, but it's never the ghostee's fault. He's a dick for letting it go that long, succumbing to his made up "pressure", and never owning up to it. It's natural for her to have reservations after being betrayed so horribly. Anybody that says differently is clearly misguided and doesn't know their ass from a hole in the ground. This is an honest, raw human emotion. I 100% think he had another woman on the side and it's probably stringing that one along too. She may not be marriage material, but he could have said something far before a month before the wedding. There is absolutely no excuse for what he did, and just having people tell her to let it go makes those people sound insensitive and immature.
Here's a little insight. She needed to find out b/c what caused what? Might be her or him. The source might be outside of the couple's internal working, within both, or with 'out'. If it's without, the combinations become kind of more unlimited. In this case, it was internal within the couple but sourced on our one side. This is an interesting position. He wasn't ready for marriage, which he stated. He'd have to keep the vows, and have responsibility placed upon him. He couldn't even go through with the wedding let alone follow through BY it. So good. They are done. He was feeling pressured. But he wasn't READY. And ladies, this what happens when you "push" in some cases. Stop justifying why marriage is so paramount that you can't even detect his perspective b/c you're over focussed on "YOUR big day". What he did is actually a symptom of the pressure SHE put on him. And she is so oblivious that 5 years later, after aaaall the self reflection, she didn't have a clue. He's the loser?? No no, like attracts like'. If you're not seeing her part, you're not seeing bance/symmetry between the sides and that's the view we tend to miss in a "partnership". Partnerships are agreements and you can't have a meeting of the minds of the intent of the agenda differs from what apparent. Thus, a hidden agenda. So she never even told him Why the pressure was there in the first place. It's completely one-sided, but the biggest responsibility you have is to know thyself. She doesn't and this will be a crux in her life unless she learns toanage her selfishness. But if you polled the audience, how many would see what I do. And divorce is 50-80% depending on your source. WE CAN DO BETTER.
Wrong. Proceed with caution always. All men do the same shit. She's right to do this. She thinks it's HER FAULT. It wasn't. He did so much damage. The loser fiancé needs to pay for what he did.
BTW, men do this ALL THE TIME. They never process their bullshit, they just go on causing damage. At least she's trying to settle her affairs before she gets married. You're seeing it all wrong.
@@frenchbluehen absolutely not. She needs to let that go. You can tell by her reaction that even when he said it was not on her and took full responsibility she still was not satisfied. She is letting her past disrupt her future and that will indirectly cause conflict between her and her new fiance. It's wrong rather a man does it or a woman. So you bringing up men doing it all the time is irrelevant. The point is it's not okay. Lastly, closure from your past relationships should be done before your next relationship IF it's needed. So your point would be valid if she did this while single. She CHOSE to let go that past and be at peace with it once she got with her new man. Not staying it's easy but I'm saying what is right.
@@joamiggyou don't even seem to know what is right. Ghosting someone is completely inappropriate. She thought it was her fault all this time and she only just found out. You cannot gauge her initial reaction is how she's going to feel for the rest of her life. This is another reason where you are completely wrong. Sure it's wrong when people do it, but men never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever clean up their old stuff before messing up new stuff that's creating further damage to women down the line. This poor woman gave her whole heart to this man and he treated her like garbage. Maybe it is easy for you to say she should get over it, but again, it's not you and it's completely wrong for you to say that and judge her.
If she's in love going to marry another guy why the*** does it matter if i was the soon be husband id be walking. She's already doing things behind his back.
Whoa! I just came across this channel. I can't believe you're still on air! We listened to you on the bus back when I was in high school... 30 years ago... Got to meet and hang with y'all at a club once about 20 years ago. What a fun surprise to find you here and still rockin the air waves😁👍
I think it would benefit her to share her feelings with her new fiancé! I shared with my then boyfriend early on about my toxic and abusive relationship before him and it really helped me feel calm over the situation, and he knew that I might need extra support in dealing with things because of what I had been through. I didn't share everything with him then. but moving forward we were able to work through things in a healthy way. Communication is huge especially when things from our past comes bubbling up. 5 years together soon and we never leave things unsaid.
Agreed. And she should seek counseling too to have an objective, safe place. Plus if she’s marrying the new guy, she needs to get to a place where she’s comfortable enough with him to fully be herself.
She still in love with the ex. Big red flag for her new husband.
She's lucky he told her before the actual wedding date...
Wow they never even had that conversation?? What a jerk to leave like that. I would worry about your own judge of character to say yes to someone who cared so little
She loves the first guy.. if she could be ok with not being married.. she would go back
I'm with Bert. She needs to drop this.
She is definitely hoping he will try to talk her out of marrying someone else, and she's hoping he will run back to her loving arms. Doesn't sound like he's interested.
The fact she calling her ex before the wedding,her fiance need to run she not over her ex .the fiance is the back up plan.she isnt the prize ,she need help .he needs to run
As a military veteran with PTSD, my eyes roll when someone references PTSD, when speaking of a relationship break up. Yeah, let's not do that
Run, dude! Run!
In the meantime, reach out to her family or a friend who can help her.
Sometimes the closure has to come from within. Work this out within yourself before you wreck the engagement & wedding.
This feels icky...her new fiancé is not aware that she wants closure from her previous relationship. Two years later, this is coming up...is she being honest about this ? Is she still interested in the ex and hoping for a reconciliation before it's too late to go down the aisle with a new man ? Sorry, but I gotta go there...because all I can think of is...why ? why ? why pursue this ? And now I get to the end and her 'heart is pounding'. And she is not accepting the latest info...still wants to continue digging. She is not happy at all...
Why pursue this? Hello!!!! You can't fucking hhost your fiancé and expect to go unchecked. Who does that?!? It's so painful. Lol at the damage he caused. What do you NOT see about this?
@@frenchbluehen Get a grip ! Were you triggered ? I wasn't. She got answers then, not happy. She got answers now, still not happy.
@@frenchbluehen you are clearly triggered by something that happened in your past that has made you hate men. Work it out and not take it out on all of us.
@@devonmackifyoh she def not happy you could tell in her voice in the end she clearly wasn’t going to let this go
@@anthonyb6578 exactly, her reaction said it all...
If I were her, I dang sure would NOT tell the current fiancée about contacting a Radio Station for help with getting closure with an ex-fiancee. That safe time-frame has passed. Maybe needed to tell him everything when you told him there was even an ex fiancée!
WTAF?!?! He literally gave the most honest and real answer, she's off the hook!! She really ought to just be happy and move happily on!
He didn't really say anything and be really took any credit for being wrong. You forget that he went a month before the wedding before he decided to say anything, and then ghosted her! That is not acceptable! I'm glad he got called out for it because it really is ridiculous. He made up the most cliche ridiculous reason I've ever heard in my life and people just think that that's the truth. He's totally lying! And I think she knows it.
@frenchbluehen While the way he treated her was totally 💩, and yes very unacceptable, he did say that his reasoning was not her but actual Pressure, from all sides. There's nothing more to get from that. People do feel pressured to do stuff, even marriage. Doesn't make it right, but it is just that. Better than him saying how awful he thought she was or anything like that.
You dodged a major bullet, time to move on and let it go. Harping on it years after the fact is not healthy for you or your new relationship, but you could tell in her voice in the end of the call she’s not going to let this go
She wasnt hanging on. Just wanted closure. Thanks for your opinion…
He had another chick. 100%
Of COURSE he did.
So what if he did?
He didn't even say anything and only barely owned up. I feel bad that she thought it was her fault all this time, but it's never the ghostee's fault. He's a dick for letting it go that long, succumbing to his made up "pressure", and never owning up to it. It's natural for her to have reservations after being betrayed so horribly. Anybody that says differently is clearly misguided and doesn't know their ass from a hole in the ground. This is an honest, raw human emotion. I 100% think he had another woman on the side and it's probably stringing that one along too. She may not be marriage material, but he could have said something far before a month before the wedding. There is absolutely no excuse for what he did, and just having people tell her to let it go makes those people sound insensitive and immature.
Here's a little insight. She needed to find out b/c what caused what? Might be her or him. The source might be outside of the couple's internal working, within both, or with 'out'. If it's without, the combinations become kind of more unlimited. In this case, it was internal within the couple but sourced on our one side. This is an interesting position.
He wasn't ready for marriage, which he stated. He'd have to keep the vows, and have responsibility placed upon him. He couldn't even go through with the wedding let alone follow through BY it. So good. They are done. He was feeling pressured. But he wasn't READY. And ladies, this what happens when you "push" in some cases. Stop justifying why marriage is so paramount that you can't even detect his perspective b/c you're over focussed on "YOUR big day". What he did is actually a symptom of the pressure SHE put on him. And she is so oblivious that 5 years later, after aaaall the self reflection, she didn't have a clue. He's the loser?? No no, like attracts like'. If you're not seeing her part, you're not seeing bance/symmetry between the sides and that's the view we tend to miss in a "partnership". Partnerships are agreements and you can't have a meeting of the minds of the intent of the agenda differs from what apparent. Thus, a hidden agenda. So she never even told him Why the pressure was there in the first place. It's completely one-sided, but the biggest responsibility you have is to know thyself. She doesn't and this will be a crux in her life unless she learns toanage her selfishness.
But if you polled the audience, how many would see what I do. And divorce is 50-80% depending on your source. WE CAN DO BETTER.
K thanks for your male perspective. As wrong as you are
Making a man in your present pay for stuff in your past equals no future
Wrong. Proceed with caution always. All men do the same shit. She's right to do this. She thinks it's HER FAULT. It wasn't. He did so much damage. The loser fiancé needs to pay for what he did.
BTW, men do this ALL THE TIME. They never process their bullshit, they just go on causing damage. At least she's trying to settle her affairs before she gets married. You're seeing it all wrong.
@@frenchbluehen absolutely not. She needs to let that go. You can tell by her reaction that even when he said it was not on her and took full responsibility she still was not satisfied. She is letting her past disrupt her future and that will indirectly cause conflict between her and her new fiance. It's wrong rather a man does it or a woman. So you bringing up men doing it all the time is irrelevant. The point is it's not okay. Lastly, closure from your past relationships should be done before your next relationship IF it's needed. So your point would be valid if she did this while single. She CHOSE to let go that past and be at peace with it once she got with her new man. Not staying it's easy but I'm saying what is right.
@@joamiggyou don't even seem to know what is right. Ghosting someone is completely inappropriate. She thought it was her fault all this time and she only just found out. You cannot gauge her initial reaction is how she's going to feel for the rest of her life. This is another reason where you are completely wrong. Sure it's wrong when people do it, but men never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever clean up their old stuff before messing up new stuff that's creating further damage to women down the line. This poor woman gave her whole heart to this man and he treated her like garbage. Maybe it is easy for you to say she should get over it, but again, it's not you and it's completely wrong for you to say that and judge her.
Does the second guy know about his upcoming nuptials?
Talk about a surprise party!!
Edit for clarity.
We have all done something similar for the fact that most of us do not want to hurt someone's feelings.
I should have done better.
Waste of time
If she's in love going to marry another guy why the*** does it matter if i was the soon be husband id be walking. She's already doing things behind his back.