The irony of Charlie reading “stay in well lit populated areas” while wearing that mask, as if to warn us that HE is what we may in fact find if we don’t heed his warning.
VEGAN MOTIVATION: I went vegan at 12, not rich or privileged, non-vegan family and still vegan 4 years later. If I can do it so can you! Let's leave animal cruelty in the past..
Humans don't need to eat animals to thrive! When you go vegan, you're taking a stance against animal cruelty. Go vegan for animal rights, animals are not ours to exploit for food, clothes, experiments, or entertainment. Be vegan💚🌱.
Let me get this straight: You comment something that is unrelated to the fact that I have two DANGEROUSLY DASHING girlfriends? Considering that I am the unprettiest TH-camr ever, having two hot girlfriends is really incredible. Yet you did not mention that at all. I am quite disappointed, dear tha
Dude I just wanna say thank you for making content because my year especially and I know everyones year has been bad but mine has been especially bad, and when I watch your videos I know that I'm going to laugh. Thank you.
Title: *_Christmas came early_* Thumbnail: **Charlie holding a Mini-figure of himself like it's about to shoot lasers from its eyes while wearing a Nacho Libre mask** Me: *Hmmm... Interesting*
I was thinking of using something like a Pi in case it was one of those usb port killers that way you're using a low cost electronic that you could probably repair
The way you work squirmles is you stick that tab at the end of the string in your pocket or wrap it around a belt loop and do tricks by moving your hands and subtly moving your hips
I am absolutely LOVING that Courage the Cowardly Dog wall art! I know you reference 90's and early 2000's cartoons a lot in your vids, but it's still great to see proof that those cartoons are so beloved.
Alright, so here’s the dealio. I have a large Italian family with many cousins, uncles, aunts, nephews, et cetera. Every once in awhile we’ll all gather up to celebrate the anniversary of our great grandparents’ wedding, a special occasion marking the creation of our family. They’re long gone now, but it’s the memory that counts, and we celebrate by cooking a feast for the ages, rivaling thanksgiving dinner. Now upon the eve of this anniversary all “da boys” (as us men in the family affectionately call ourselves) gather up and go to a famous local bar in downtown Boston. They only accept cash, very “old school” feel to the place, but it makes for some great stories. Usually the place is a blast, with all sorts of banter and drunken shenanigans occurring, but not last night... Now before I divulge the details, I ought to give some background as to how I fit into this family. Where my father and I are well integrated into the family, my mother is quite the outsider. She comes from wealthier, southern origins, around the mid-Atlantic part of the country. Because of this, she’s always viewed the family as “working class”, with her posh accent sticking out like a sore thumb at gatherings of Bostonians. By extension, I’ve always felt I had to prove to my family that I can “hang” with them so to speak, and in a way I worry that they see my mom as the woman who pulled my dad away from their tight knit circle. Now let’s cut back to last night at the bar. Laughs, drinks, and stories all around the bar as we enjoy ourselves. My cousin Vinny invites me and some of the younger guys to play truth or drink. At this point I’m already quite drunk, but accept for the fun of it. A few questions in and Vinny asks me “how big is your dick? I know you’re packing a huge one Anon, right?” Of course my other cousins all groan with embarrassment, but I foolishly answer instantly, unaware of the ramifications of my response. “4.5 inches” I say too confidently, and suddenly all eyes are on me. “Drink anon, I know you’re bullshitting me man!” says Vinny, with a twinge of nervous angst in his voice. “I’m serious Vin, that’s all I got, haha” Dead silence. I gaze across the bar to see my entire family looking in shock and awe at my response. Vinny attempts to get everyone focused back on the game, and everyone resumes at a quieter tempo, but I knew that I had just majorly fucked up. After leaving the bar, my uncle Paul pulls me aside, puts both hands on my shoulder and says “Kid, please tell me you’re just fucking around about your cock size” “No paul, Jesus what the fuck is your problem?” I say indignantly “Anon, don’t you know everyone in this family is packing fat schlong? For Christ sakes I’m on the smaller side and still clock out around 7 inches.” “So what? Why the hell does penis size matter to you so much?” I’m starting to get worried at this point, I’ve never seen Paul look at me with such intensity. “Matter to me? It’s matters to the whole damn family! Cock size is more than a number, it quantifies your entire personality. You can’t call yourself a member of this family if your walking around with a fucking baby carrot between your legs” Paul went on explaining the history of this family, and how the men found success through leveraging their superior cocks, both literally and figuratively. According to him, my dad was somewhat of a legend, with a massive 10 inch meat cannon. Apparently during a final 200 meter dash in highschool, my father won by enlarging his penis so much and preformed a pelvic to win the race. I always felt like I never lived up to my father’s athletic record, but now I know that I come short in more ways than one. So how could my dad’s cock be so big, and mine be so small? I had to investigate. It turns that penis endowment correlates with genes on both the X and Y chromosomes, meaning that both my mother and father’s genetics are responsible. My father’s side obviously is known for their legendary sausages, so I knew I had to speak with my mother. She was incredibly reluctant to describe her male family members’ genitalia to me for some reason... odd. I knew I had to investigate further, so I called some of my cousins and uncles from that side. Turns out, the family has relatively average penis sizes, but all larger than mine. Combined they averaged about 6 inches. Here’s what makes no sense, if my dad’s side has an average of 8 inches, and my mom’s side has an average of 6 inches, why don’t I fall within that range? I suspected my mother’s hesitancy to speak on the matter indicated a darker secret, so I went digging. My mom was friends with a man she knew from law school named Brian, and I always suspected she might have had a thing for him. I reach out to talk, and he gladly accepts. Over the phone, I ask him “So how big is your cock?” “My cock? Ahh, unfortunately I was born with a rather small 3 inch cock, but it gets the job done. It’s about average in my family” Bingo, what lies in between 3 and 6? 4.5. Brian was my father. But before I had a chance to ask him, the phone line disconnected. My father stands across from me, holding the phone cord in his hand. He had been on the other line, and must have figured it out. “I always knew...” he said with a solemn look in his eye. He sulked away and retreated to his room, feeling unworthy to face the rest of the family. I realize now that I needed to at least make amends with my cousins, they might not be able to respect my cock on size, but maybe I could demonstrate the skill and speed of my cock. The dinner party was about to start, my mother and father had clearly been arguing and didn’t show up. Nobody bothered to look at me, and when they did catch my eyes I only saw disdain. I realized now was the chance, and stood up on the table. “I challenge anybody who’s man enough to a sword fight!” I declared, whipping my smaller cock out into the air for everyone to see. At first I was met with silence, but then Vinny steps up, with rage in his eyes... “Tough talk for a fella with a small cock” He joined me on the table, summoning is terrifying 9 inch meat penetrator. I quickly assumed a guard position, I was 5 inches short from a fair fight, so I had to play defensively. He charged with his penis in hand, swinging wildly, but clearly underestimating my maneuverability. I dodged and landed 3 quick jabs with the tip of my peen on his shaft. He reposted quickly, but I chambered his advanced and managed to strike at the balls. Vinny was down, but soon the rest of the family whipped out their cocks and prepared to engage in an all out melee. The smell of musty dicks filled the air as men took their sides on the battlefield. Some came to defend me, admiring my valor in single combat with Vinny, while others came to avenge him. Soon a frontline emerged, reminiscent of the pike-and-shot warfare of the early modern period. Men on the front pushed and pulled with their cocks to make ground, while occasionally allowing for volleys of cum to fly across the room as artillery. The battle was intense, casualties began to stack up, and it looked like my side was going to collapse. Then my father came downstairs, 10 inch cock in hand. “You may not be my son, anon, but you’ll always be my boy” He and my allies charged, rallying our fallen comrades. I’d never seen a man cockfight like my father before. He used his massive schlong like a zweihander, cutting down two, three cocks at once. Soon the battle ended, with Vinny’s allies surrendering in defeat. The room was covered in ball sweat and cum, dripping from the walls and ceiling. I don’t know where I stand with the family currently. Many have learned to accept me, but I’m sure it will take years before the rest consider it. Who knows how many more wars this family will fight before peace is had... and it’s all my fault. TL;DR: I revealed my cock length to my family, which escalated into a massive war.
I've been part of your silent public for many years now, but this is the first time I felt the need to comment one of your video. Are you OK bro ? I mean I've noticed that the more the time goes by, the more you post (youtubewise). At the beginning, I taught, "yeah boy, gimme more of that Cr1TiKaL shit!" But now, and especially the past few months your productivity has been INSANE man, sometimes like 20 videos per week! I mean, It's really impressive but a bit alarming, I hope you just feel in a hyper productivity mood, I don't know, I've noticed a few other things that led me to think that you may not be very OK. I hope It's just my mind playing tricks on me... Anyway, I take this occasion to tell you that, for me, you are one of THE LAST REAL TH-camrs, like back when youtube was one of the best sharing platform, when creativity, personality and consistency mattered. I wish you all the best in your life mate, you deserve it and I really mean it, your content has made my day brighter countless time. I Just hope you're not in some kind of Pagliacci the clown situation. Sorry for my shitty English, Best from France, PYY
3:50 The art of cutesexyrobutts sometimes gets bashed by the casual passer-by who is concerned about the way that bodies can appear differently in this artwork compared to in-game designs. What they don't realize is that the artist has a very consistent form of interpretation for these characters. Well-defined muscles, strong backs, these women are the very image of strength. Uhhh yes the titted big ones are also emphasized in this art but these characters are never made like Barbie-- twisted tiny things that exist as shriveled forms of a stale femininity. The characters of CSRB's art are so frequently willing and active participants in these images of fantasy: Android 18 challenges the viewer in this painting, her cool-headed nature well translated into a stylized form. You can look at the other women in CSRB's work. They are not thrown to the ground, deshabille. They willingly bare themselves out of confidence in themselves and their bodies. What an artist! What heights the medium has been brought to!
I can't believe Charlie would lie to us like this. The manga clearly went off course around chapter 263 and completely destroyed the impact found in the light novel. I can't believe that they actually gave us a shaved Charlie on chapter 266 when the Light Novel is nowhere near that arc, which is found in the web novel. Completely disappointed in you Jesus, I thought better of you.
I won't lie, 278's sex scene was so good. Charlie really got that moist meter high, I think that was my favourite highlight in all of the manga + chronicles combined.
“Commons Matthew! These are COMMONS!!!” I fucking died or laughter after hearing this. Edit: God bless the man who sent the message about the Baritone.
![⭐ฮิตในTikTok!! ( หมูเด้ง MooDeng ) Ver. แดนซ์โจ๊ะๆ ReMix BY [ ดีเจกิต รีมิกซ์ ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/3krsyfWUeHU/mqdefault.jpg)
The crocheted fall guy was adorable and really well made.
a
agreed and nice pfp :)
@@a.u.n. thanks! yours too
Croquet* ;)
Plot twist: you made the croquet fall guy
Charlie looks like a kid when his parents let him wear whatever he wanted to for his birthday.
He do got the dripp
Moist drip
No wonder they call him moist critikal, my mans is dripping 🥵🔥
@@doingpushupseverydayuntil2108 how many pushups a day?
His balls weigh more than all of us combined
The irony of Charlie reading “stay in well lit populated areas” while wearing that mask, as if to warn us that HE is what we may in fact find if we don’t heed his warning.
I went into a dark subway the other day and Charlie mugged me and stabbed me in the gut
If charlie is the bad guy, the only tip would be to hide on top of the fridge
ToxicSkull0 and carry a bag of cockroaches
ToxicSkull0 he uses a ladder with knives stuck on its ends
So is I go into a forest at midnight I’ll be blessed by charlie
Yugi: There are no useless cards...
Charlie: FILTHY COMMONS!
Charlie is irl kaiba
Aleah Rosaine bro your so right
@@piggy5738 you're*
Rayene Boussetta thank u for the advice but I’m still going to hit u
@@piggy5738 It wasn't an advice though..
If anybody was wondering, the artist who made that Android 18 poster is called "CuteSexyRobutts". Do with that what you will.
Oh yeah yeah
you sir just took a whole platoon of NNN
I thought is was him. A classic
That’s crazy I just found that account on twitter
ive heard that name before
Tiana: say it louder
charlie: repeats quote "same volume and tone level"
He has a way with words❤❤
Dontcha just love it when two bots show up in the same reply thread
@ANIME FAN stop liking your own comments aswell as reposting your own TH-cam links, it's pretty obvious
It was their fault to think he could speak in any other tone than monotone
as soon as i saw that part in 5:57 your comment appeared lol, is this pure coincidence or is youtube playing tricks
"I don't wear hoodies"
*the irony considering that before your face reveal everyone portrayed you as red hooded man*
Haha true
Slave knight Gael?
Really?
Looks like Christmas did the same thing my dad did.
I pictured him as an overweight blonde guy with a handlebar mustache
Why the heck is John Wick cosplaying as Rey Mysterio?
Nice to see you again
Aaah u r everywhere
You're late, and you didn't reach your quota of at least 20k likes. How dare you.
Stop popping up everywhere. I first spotted you 3 years ago now. S t o p
@@galaxycub3574 No he needs to be everywhere
DUDE! That was hilarious to see you open the honey, the bees and I appreciate your support!
When he unboxed the Lego Jesus, he found himself.
Ragon Maarten what’s crazy is I made that LEGO and it’s him lol
Crispy Donut If thats true,you did s great job lol
Matt out here looking like a GTA 5 online character with that Tom Nook mask on lmao
Animal Crossing*
@@SkyRied1 Tom nook is the name of the character that,that mask is based on though
Heist clothing
@Donut 428 same thought here
So we know what to expect if GTA 5 ends up on the switch.
" there could be anything in there, anyone in there " we are at a point in time where opening your fan mail is like recieving a bomb threat
Charlie would never be killed by a bomb, he's too powerful
Used to be anthrax
The artist of that Android 18 poster is "cutesexyrobutts" don't ask me why I know this
ah a man of culture i see
Facts, his style is so distinct. Cultured folk know him well 👌
One of the finest hentai artists ever shat out onto this accursed earth.
it's not "why" but rather "how"
@@ssgkaizer4308 huzzah a man of fine quality
I sent him the flash drive and it has Ultimate Spider-Man On it,so I understand if he dosent open it lmao
Yeah he was prob just worried that it had something sketchy like a virus, bad photos or illegal stuff lol
Did you actually?
@@Doctorcockter yea 😂
@@Curlane nice
Ayooooo!!
Guy named Christmas: "I swear this doesn't usually happen"
Definitely underrated took me a minute but got a good chuckle 😂😂
Cum
"Android 18... Can you believe Krillin got with that Matt" 😭
Krillin Owned Count : RESET
@@grammatizing I'm a big fan
Alternative title: the world ended and we found some boxes
Everything after 2012 was a dream
_“Christmas came early”_
Me: *_I think you mean prematurely_*
FBI : *kNoCK KnOck*
2:38
Stay with the woman who looks at you like Charlie looked his lego
Awfully appropriate pfp
Why would I wanna be with a psychopath?
@@z-a-t-i he's one step ahead
I made it and it was sooo funny when he looked at it lmaooo
Charlie's apparently been brainwashed by the ancient Delgeveus B tribe.
You could some backyard wrestling with these outfits:
"Captain Corona vs Jèsus the Collector"
There is nothing like a bunch of random stuff in a PO Box to make your day. Nice video and commons??!!.....What a waste
When you eat animals you promote violence, deforestation, human labor, and the spread of diseases such as COVID 19. Go vegan for animal rights💚🌱.
VEGAN MOTIVATION: I went vegan at 12, not rich or privileged, non-vegan family and still vegan 4 years later. If I can do it so can you! Let's leave animal cruelty in the past..
Humans don't need to eat animals to thrive! When you go vegan, you're taking a stance against animal cruelty. Go vegan for animal rights, animals are not ours to exploit for food, clothes, experiments, or entertainment. Be vegan💚🌱.
Hm
I feel like he a bot
I love Tiana’s anger at him calling the cat a goat.
Everyone gangsta till the vet corrects Charlie
It is a goat
"COMMONS MATTHEW, COMMONS!!!"
Unforgivable
Charlie out of context:
“I don’t want to touch myself!”
When the dude sends you a bunch of cards for free but your sad there all commons
The Guy: 😢👍
I love ya Charlie, been a big fan for a long time, thanks for the laughs dude
same
Sorry man, he ain't gonna reply
YouHackISmack thats true
Charlie may be a great youtuber but I do be doing pushups tho
All I saw was Rey Moistirio in this video.
4:45 looks like someone that would road rage attack you in Russia
When Charlie doesn't read all the safety tips on Furgal's trading card:
*The sacred texts!*
Let me get this straight: You comment something that is unrelated to the fact that I have two DANGEROUSLY DASHING girlfriends? Considering that I am the unprettiest TH-camr ever, having two hot girlfriends is really incredible. Yet you did not mention that at all. I am quite disappointed, dear tha
@@AxxLAfriku who are you?
So many spammers in this comment section today. I spotted 4 by now. Wow!
I can never stop seeing that guy, as soon as I forget who he is, he just pops up again.
@@thaddeusvangeist7924 i feel sorry you had to encounter this comment goblin that is AxxL
6:42 "I don't wanna touch myself." That's the Jesus we know. Always holy and pure.
“You look like a five nights at freddy’s villain”
TOM NOOK IS THE MAN BEHIND THE SLAUGHTER CONFIRMED
"Can you believe Krillan got with that Matt?"
No, as a fellow Matt I never understood that one.
"look at those milkers"
"nonono i mean those honkers"
Charlie looked so professional. Bless him x
No bless me
Charlie is a 9th level intellect
5:35 - Jesus Christ saying "Jesus Christ" to a picture of a Jesus Christ
The prophecy has been fullfilled
Dude I just wanna say thank you for making content because my year especially and I know everyones year has been bad but mine has been especially bad, and when I watch your videos I know that I'm going to laugh. Thank you.
Title: *_Christmas came early_*
Thumbnail: **Charlie holding a Mini-figure of himself like it's about to shoot lasers from its eyes while wearing a Nacho Libre mask**
Me: *Hmmm... Interesting*
Wicked Poutine but that’s not even the title....
Oh well... I'll fix that
_Christmas isn't the only thing coming early because of this video_
waa -
@ANIME FAN my g are you really posting your own videos in a TH-cam comments section, grow up
SydiousSneakySnake he’s an anime fan that explains it
Plug the virus flash drive into a chromebook, if it has a virus it's likely for windows or mac os so a chromebook shouldn't be affected
I was thinking of using something like a Pi in case it was one of those usb port killers that way you're using a low cost electronic that you could probably repair
I mean, it could have illegal stuff on it also, so, viruses aren’t the only issue, but yea
Just go to a library and use one of the computers there
Fuck, that's actually some huge brain shit right there lol
If it is a usb killer your device is broken anyway, whatever operating system you are using. And Chromebook sucks balls.
You can hear the disgust in Tiana's voice when Charlie called the crocheted fall guy a croquet fall guy
The way you work squirmles is you stick that tab at the end of the string in your pocket or wrap it around a belt loop and do tricks by moving your hands and subtly moving your hips
with charlies videos every day for me is a christmas
Petition for Charlie to dress like Jesus and talk like a preist... Charlie reminds me of Charlie the guinea pig from smosh...
Cringe
You think God fears the moist man taking his throne? Do you think he fears what would happen if he ascended to God hood?
I do
Everything as we know it would turn *Moist...*
Omni-Moist
*Moist was never an option*
Bold of you to make the assumption that he hasn't already
I am absolutely LOVING that Courage the Cowardly Dog wall art! I know you reference 90's and early 2000's cartoons a lot in your vids, but it's still great to see proof that those cartoons are so beloved.
Alternate title: Sriracha guy and hazmat dude tearing through the the badlands of boxes
Can’t wait for the Netflix adaptation of this
I love how Charlie looks like an alchoholic adult vesion of Mucha Lucha.
Rey Moistirico
Ok
5:59 I play baritone, and must I say that felt amazing hearing that from Charlie
It did indeed
Sorry, but do you mind explaining?
@@happyrat5230 what is there to explain...
Devin Guajardo well I don’t play baritone so I don’t quite understand the reference or what it’s implying really
I love this shit, really just seems like the three of them just having a nice time opening up packages. Hope he continues wanna see where it could go
"People drive with less eyesight then this" lmao does this guy have a youtube channel, he's amazing.
I agree I love Matt, I don’t think he has a channel but i’d watch if he did!
Happy early birthday Jesus.
CrossFit Jesus do be looking like Rey mysterio
height checks out
@@AP-su9rh Yes
Jesus himself celebrating Christmas
@7:04 AWWWWWWWWWWW CUTTEEE PUPPPPY UNDER TABLE
The only thing that makes crit1kal show emotion.
"CoMm0nS!!!"
Best ew I heard in a longtime
it's 5:15 am and I'm exhausted af but this actually brightened my mood
Alright, so here’s the dealio.
I have a large Italian family with many cousins, uncles, aunts, nephews, et cetera. Every once in awhile we’ll all gather up to celebrate the anniversary of our great grandparents’ wedding, a special occasion marking the creation of our family. They’re long gone now, but it’s the memory that counts, and we celebrate by cooking a feast for the ages, rivaling thanksgiving dinner.
Now upon the eve of this anniversary all “da boys” (as us men in the family affectionately call ourselves) gather up and go to a famous local bar in downtown Boston. They only accept cash, very “old school” feel to the place, but it makes for some great stories. Usually the place is a blast, with all sorts of banter and drunken shenanigans occurring, but not last night...
Now before I divulge the details, I ought to give some background as to how I fit into this family. Where my father and I are well integrated into the family, my mother is quite the outsider. She comes from wealthier, southern origins, around the mid-Atlantic part of the country. Because of this, she’s always viewed the family as “working class”, with her posh accent sticking out like a sore thumb at gatherings of Bostonians. By extension, I’ve always felt I had to prove to my family that I can “hang” with them so to speak, and in a way I worry that they see my mom as the woman who pulled my dad away from their tight knit circle.
Now let’s cut back to last night at the bar. Laughs, drinks, and stories all around the bar as we enjoy ourselves. My cousin Vinny invites me and some of the younger guys to play truth or drink. At this point I’m already quite drunk, but accept for the fun of it. A few questions in and Vinny asks me “how big is your dick? I know you’re packing a huge one Anon, right?”
Of course my other cousins all groan with embarrassment, but I foolishly answer instantly, unaware of the ramifications of my response.
“4.5 inches” I say too confidently, and suddenly all eyes are on me.
“Drink anon, I know you’re bullshitting me man!” says Vinny, with a twinge of nervous angst in his voice.
“I’m serious Vin, that’s all I got, haha”
Dead silence. I gaze across the bar to see my entire family looking in shock and awe at my response. Vinny attempts to get everyone focused back on the game, and everyone resumes at a quieter tempo, but I knew that I had just majorly fucked up.
After leaving the bar, my uncle Paul pulls me aside, puts both hands on my shoulder and says “Kid, please tell me you’re just fucking around about your cock size”
“No paul, Jesus what the fuck is your problem?” I say indignantly
“Anon, don’t you know everyone in this family is packing fat schlong? For Christ sakes I’m on the smaller side and still clock out around 7 inches.”
“So what? Why the hell does penis size matter to you so much?” I’m starting to get worried at this point, I’ve never seen Paul look at me with such intensity.
“Matter to me? It’s matters to the whole damn family! Cock size is more than a number, it quantifies your entire personality. You can’t call yourself a member of this family if your walking around with a fucking baby carrot between your legs”
Paul went on explaining the history of this family, and how the men found success through leveraging their superior cocks, both literally and figuratively. According to him, my dad was somewhat of a legend, with a massive 10 inch meat cannon. Apparently during a final 200 meter dash in highschool, my father won by enlarging his penis so much and preformed a pelvic to win the race. I always felt like I never lived up to my father’s athletic record, but now I know that I come short in more ways than one.
So how could my dad’s cock be so big, and mine be so small? I had to investigate.
It turns that penis endowment correlates with genes on both the X and Y chromosomes, meaning that both my mother and father’s genetics are responsible. My father’s side obviously is known for their legendary sausages, so I knew I had to speak with my mother.
She was incredibly reluctant to describe her male family members’ genitalia to me for some reason... odd. I knew I had to investigate further, so I called some of my cousins and uncles from that side. Turns out, the family has relatively average penis sizes, but all larger than mine. Combined they averaged about 6 inches.
Here’s what makes no sense, if my dad’s side has an average of 8 inches, and my mom’s side has an average of 6 inches, why don’t I fall within that range?
I suspected my mother’s hesitancy to speak on the matter indicated a darker secret, so I went digging.
My mom was friends with a man she knew from law school named Brian, and I always suspected she might have had a thing for him. I reach out to talk, and he gladly accepts.
Over the phone, I ask him “So how big is your cock?”
“My cock? Ahh, unfortunately I was born with a rather small 3 inch cock, but it gets the job done. It’s about average in my family”
Bingo, what lies in between 3 and 6? 4.5. Brian was my father. But before I had a chance to ask him, the phone line disconnected.
My father stands across from me, holding the phone cord in his hand. He had been on the other line, and must have figured it out.
“I always knew...” he said with a solemn look in his eye. He sulked away and retreated to his room, feeling unworthy to face the rest of the family.
I realize now that I needed to at least make amends with my cousins, they might not be able to respect my cock on size, but maybe I could demonstrate the skill and speed of my cock.
The dinner party was about to start, my mother and father had clearly been arguing and didn’t show up. Nobody bothered to look at me, and when they did catch my eyes I only saw disdain.
I realized now was the chance, and stood up on the table.
“I challenge anybody who’s man enough to a sword fight!” I declared, whipping my smaller cock out into the air for everyone to see.
At first I was met with silence, but then Vinny steps up, with rage in his eyes...
“Tough talk for a fella with a small cock”
He joined me on the table, summoning is terrifying 9 inch meat penetrator. I quickly assumed a guard position, I was 5 inches short from a fair fight, so I had to play defensively.
He charged with his penis in hand, swinging wildly, but clearly underestimating my maneuverability. I dodged and landed 3 quick jabs with the tip of my peen on his shaft. He reposted quickly, but I chambered his advanced and managed to strike at the balls. Vinny was down, but soon the rest of the family whipped out their cocks and prepared to engage in an all out melee.
The smell of musty dicks filled the air as men took their sides on the battlefield. Some came to defend me, admiring my valor in single combat with Vinny, while others came to avenge him. Soon a frontline emerged, reminiscent of the pike-and-shot warfare of the early modern period. Men on the front pushed and pulled with their cocks to make ground, while occasionally allowing for volleys of cum to fly across the room as artillery.
The battle was intense, casualties began to stack up, and it looked like my side was going to collapse.
Then my father came downstairs, 10 inch cock in hand.
“You may not be my son, anon, but you’ll always be my boy”
He and my allies charged, rallying our fallen comrades. I’d never seen a man cockfight like my father before. He used his massive schlong like a zweihander, cutting down two, three cocks at once.
Soon the battle ended, with Vinny’s allies surrendering in defeat. The room was covered in ball sweat and cum, dripping from the walls and ceiling.
I don’t know where I stand with the family currently. Many have learned to accept me, but I’m sure it will take years before the rest consider it. Who knows how many more wars this family will fight before peace is had... and it’s all my fault.
TL;DR: I revealed my cock length to my family, which escalated into a massive war.
This...this is literature the likes of Shakespeare or Karl Anderson couldn't ever hope to match
@@talenor849 nice to know this didn't get detected as spam
@@TheF0xskibidbopmmdada I can't believe I read this whole thing, but I don't regret it
@@TheF0xskibidbopmmdada Did you share this anywhere else? This is amazing
@@cabbage385 I saw it on r/copypasta
I would trust these guys with my kids
Don't.
Then send them to the po box
It is my birthday today and Charlie has posted art as always, this is the best gift ever, thank you Charlie.
I'm glad I'm not the only person who never got one of those worms, though I always wanted one and just never got one.
I've been part of your silent public for many years now, but this is the first time I felt the need to comment one of your video.
Are you OK bro ? I mean I've noticed that the more the time goes by, the more you post (youtubewise).
At the beginning, I taught, "yeah boy, gimme more of that Cr1TiKaL shit!"
But now, and especially the past few months your productivity has been INSANE man, sometimes like 20 videos per week!
I mean, It's really impressive but a bit alarming, I hope you just feel in a hyper productivity mood, I don't know, I've noticed a few other things that led me to think that you may not be very OK. I hope It's just my mind playing tricks on me...
Anyway, I take this occasion to tell you that, for me, you are one of THE LAST REAL TH-camrs, like back when youtube was one of the best sharing platform, when creativity, personality and consistency mattered. I wish you all the best in your life mate, you deserve it and I really mean it, your content has made my day brighter countless time. I Just hope you're not in some kind of Pagliacci the clown situation.
Sorry for my shitty English,
Best from France,
PYY
its probably cause of covid. you cant really go outside for fun still
Alex Szubka especially in Florida
Quarantine problems
I'm sorry but what does "i hope you're not in some Pagliacci the clown situation" mean?
everybody: checking the fan art and stuff
charlie: opening cards and satisfying his adiction
5:56 Imagine playing baritone in marching band, u just play loud low notes while hold a 8 pound instrument
Ego destroyed
Change baritone to tuba and 8 to 30 and then its correct
@@masonwaite8506 yea same here, now it's just been personalized 😔
I like how TH-cam's subtitling interpreted "a s s or t i t s" as "harassment" 3:41
Charlie doesn’t get that the bottle cap from good springs is clearly a Fallout New Vegas reference
I thought I was the only one who cared. Makes me sad thinking he hasn't enjoyed that wonderful game.
Proxy Prone he’s played it, he just didn’t catch the reference
@@proxyprone he's played it. It's on his channel but he played it like 9 years ago
I'm just kinda shocked that the actual town has leaned into the bit, as it were.
"Commons Matthew! These are COMMONS!"
Title should be like : Celebrating Charlies Birthday Early
3:33 I’m like 90% sure that art is by cutesexyrobutts, in case anyone was wondering
@Proxima indeed he does
her laughter is fucking adorable. could make a grown man cry
Ah yes perfect way to start my off day yet it’s 3am watching these vids bring me great joy
I can’t believe Charlie had a life sized statue of himself in the background
3:50
The art of cutesexyrobutts sometimes gets bashed by the casual passer-by who is concerned about the way that bodies can appear differently in this artwork compared to in-game designs. What they don't realize is that the artist has a very consistent form of interpretation for these characters.
Well-defined muscles, strong backs, these women are the very image of strength. Uhhh yes the titted big ones are also emphasized in this art but these characters are never made like Barbie-- twisted tiny things that exist as shriveled forms of a stale femininity.
The characters of CSRB's art are so frequently willing and active participants in these images of fantasy: Android 18 challenges the viewer in this painting, her cool-headed nature well translated into a stylized form. You can look at the other women in CSRB's work. They are not thrown to the ground, deshabille. They willingly bare themselves out of confidence in themselves and their bodies. What an artist! What heights the medium has been brought to!
The dislikes are from Santa’s elves for not knowing about this before hand.
It’s fun watching Charlie because our hair is growing at the same rate in quarantine. Really feel invested with this 💇
I genuinely feel included with Matt showing us the cards
Charlie: theres only one man with black hair and a beard
Me: John wick
uhh, who;s john and why does he have a wick?
John Marston
@@shnubdawg7730 Marston? I'd say mars weighs MUCH more than a ton...
NotPython HAHAHAHAH SO FUNNY AND QUIRKY HAHA SO HAHA LOLOLOLOLOL MARS TON THATS FUNNY I LAUGH die
Same thing
4:57 Matt moves like he a Vr character
Christmas wasn't the only thing that came early
3:40 christmas is not the only one who came
Simply having a wonderful christmas time
3:56 TH-cam THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE demonization : hehe yeah boy
yes
Yes
Yes
perhaps but only if
Maaari
I can't believe Charlie would lie to us like this. The manga clearly went off course around chapter 263 and completely destroyed the impact found in the light novel. I can't believe that they actually gave us a shaved Charlie on chapter 266 when the Light Novel is nowhere near that arc, which is found in the web novel. Completely disappointed in you Jesus, I thought better of you.
My iq is too low to understand this, please explain
I won't lie, 278's sex scene was so good. Charlie really got that moist meter high, I think that was my favourite highlight in all of the manga + chronicles combined.
@@NOlR. same here apparently
should have read the manga
2:42 me when I discovered this channel
"can't put a price on faith"
god dam right Charlie
“Commons Matthew! These are COMMONS!!!”
I fucking died or laughter after hearing this.
Edit: God bless the man who sent the message about the Baritone.
"FNaF Villian."
That's what William Afton wore when he murdered those kiddins alright.
Title: "Christmas came early"
Me: HA! Here in the Philippines Christmas starts in September and ends in January *merry Christmas*
IT REALLY DO BE LIKE THAT THO!!!
This is suprising i never knew this
And i live there
This does put a smile on my face
I'm pretty sure that Android 18 art is from CuteSexyRobutts
Don't ask me why I know it tho
I love you man
Baritone is God's gift to marching band.
the crocheted fall guy is amazing
someone sending charlie a god tier android 18 made by Cutesexyrobutts
this is the wholesome community of all time
Guys this isn’t the real Charlie he said he didn’t want to touch himself
No he’s just turning into a family friendly channel now
"Read the manga"
*Has link to the anime*
By manga I think he meant description
Whoever made the fall guy I love you you are so talented and so special
Charlie: "baritone is god's gift to marching band"
Tiana: "SAY IT LOUDER!"
Charlie, 1/64th semitone louder: "baritone is god's gift to marching band"
4:22 animal crossing: breaking bad. Tom nook cooks crystal meth
Edit: more like tom cook
Or tom crook
Charlie: Stretches a video to 10 minutes cause he needs to pay rent
Me: Understandable, have a great day
2:55 I'll tell you what that is... It's Ned from the band twenty one pilots music video for their song Chlorine. Look it up.
as an avid reader of the manga I gotta say this is an excellent adaptation to the anime
02:55 the bag noises had me looking frantically around my apartment. sweet, thanks.