My mom has schizophrenia. Asking her to get help has never worked. This roleplay made me feel sick, I can understand why she's resistant now. Her delusions, she calls them her memories, are of assault and having a child stolen. She still looks for that child. If I had those horrible memories, I would keep looking too. Thank you for this. You're helping me to understand my mother's daily life.
It made me sick to my stomach too. Mostly because it's so hard to trust your own perceptions when you're unwell so you have to depend on others around you for that information. Like your husband. And if your husband is abusive and lies about and grossly exaggerates your behaviour because he can't fathom himself being anything except a doting husband so you must be the sole problem, those lies seem even more true to the hospital staff. Because not believing you're sick is a symptom of being sick, and the spouse can often provide useful information. It's awful. I spent over a year with him quietly telling everyone and their dog that I was violent and severely bipolar. And they listened. Everyone did. Because he's the spouse and I'm the sick wife. In the end it wasn't me who was violent, though his performance on the stand at his criminal trial sure was Oscar-worthy.
Dr. Amador's LEAP approach saved my son's life. We were so lucky to find this early on, and he got treatment and got better. Hasn't needed meds for over a decade and is doing very well in life.
I will be watching this video repeatedly. I am a patient watch security officer in a hospital. You have reinforced what has been nagging at me for a while. Either they aren't teaching this in school or many of the Healthcare providers have become calloused.
If you can bring compassion into the hospital, you will bring space and acceptance and it will matter. Sounds like you are a compassionate security officer & therefore an unsung hero but know that you make a difference.
Damn man, I hope you see this comment, people like you who work in that field and stay compassionate to the people under your care are heroes. I have family in the same field and it’s sad realizing even great people can become desensitized after long enough. People like you who have compassion for the less fortunate make a real difference to them and their families. we appreciate you man.
If I had knew this before my schizophrenic son committed suicide I'd help him in an effectual way instead of pressuring him non-stop. PLEASE share this video.
I'm so sorry to read this my lovely. There simply aren't the words i could say that would ever make that ok.This video is helping me understand my son with psychosis and I'm tempted to send it to his family too. Hugs.
I have known a few schizophrenic people in my life and want to note that they are the most caring, intelligent, sensitive, empathic, kind people I have ever known. They are on a higher level of human being in terms of kindness and openness. Just my experience. 💗
Agreed. Some are people who have taken on the weight of the world with a smile and cried to themselves at night. And then at some point they take on too much and they break. I hope that everyone dealing with this illness finds peace 💜
I called a Nami national mental health help line for advice on how to help my sister who is bi polar, and the woman I spoke to directed me to these videos. Our brother was also bi polar and killed himself with an overdose. I wish I had sought harder to support him…. And tried harder to understand bipolar illness. I will never forgive myself… but with my sister, his twin, I’m learning everything I can to be a support to her like I wasn’t for my brother. These videos and your book are a god send!!!!!! Bless you!
@@aijazsiddique8713 sadly, my sister disappeared somewhere into Nevada. She calls once in a while, she refuses to take her medication but she has managed to stay out of trouble. She was arrested a couple times. She doesn’t think she’s sick. It ended up she’s not bi-polar., but has schizoaffective disorder. It’s frustrating… but I will never give up on her. 🙏🏼
@@mcricks1980 hey. Blessings and lots of luck to you. My sister had schizophrenia. She would refuse to have treatment and would have horrible episodes where she thought everyone was trying to hurt her/institutionalize her. Eventually we convinced her to get treatment and start her medication. It’s been three years since then and she is doing great. She keeps herself busy and also tries to help us. So don’t give up.
@@aijazsiddique8713 it’s frustrating. I love her so much… and am so worried I’ll lose her like we lost our brother… I’ll keep my chin up and keep trying. Thank you for the encouragement. 🙏🏼
@Sickpete Forpresident2024 Thank you for helping your brother. It's so heartwarming to hear that there are still people out there trying their best to help a loved one
I was trying to help my friend but she blocked me out... I was too close. It hurts so bad. I miss her. Now I want to die for my failure just like she does.
This has absolutely changed my perspective. I’m just blown away. Now I know how to treat my long-time friend. Instead of trying to convince him to seek help, I will simply do the only thing I really CAN do: I will be a friend. A compassionate, understanding friend. Nothing more, nothing less. 🤍 Thank you sir, for your life-changing advice.
I hope you are doing great as well as your friend. The people who helped me the most didn't even know what I was going through. I used to have breakfast at a bakery just to say good morning to the clerk who was always so nice. And to hear normal people talking. They will never know. Plus my younger sister would always bright my day just by being herself.
The demo part brought tears to my eyes! I have been taking my younger sister, now 65 years old, to the psychiatrists for over thirty years! The major problem is refusal by members of my home to understand her illness and be co-operative. She will be sleeping under medication and my people will be discussing loudly about something or talk loudly and watch tv serials at loud volume. To get one to not say or do anything to incite her I have to shout at them and force them into quietude. I begged them and finally it is quiet now... I am 73 years old now. My family members refused to see the psychiatrist who wanted to educate them on how to handle her. Education of family members is a must. Hope to God, one day my sister will take her medicine voluntarily! Thank you Dr. Xavier for your TEDx talk. God bless you!
A very heartbreaking disorder. This is a very insightful video for someone trying to understand schizophrenia. I cried after seeing this because I could see that I had done everything wrong. The positive part is that I could see how to do things differently. Thank you Dr. Amador.
I cried too, specially when he was using the man in the audience as an example, it totally made me realize what my loved one is going through all the time
It really changed my perspective, because the truth is we don't experience what they experience. What was confusing for me though is after you're compassionate and you show them that you understand, how then can you try to help them understand that it's not reality and it's the illness? Because you want them to be able to distinguish a false perception and a real one. So that they can trust their instincts which prevents them from being used, but at the same time, you don't want them to act on a false belief. It really is a challenge.
@@kaym.2854 that's one of the many. Many answers I'm seeking...this is so hard, as a loved one. Trying to help someone with psychosis eventually makes you feel as though you yourself are losing touch with reality. Wouldn't wish this horrible illness on anyone.
@@dianakarina8080 Strength goes out to you. Hang in there. One thing I've learned is that self-care is very important. It's not selfish to be kind to yourself
OMG! My brother who is an amazing person was in a tragic car accident and has become Mentally ill with paranoia and delusions. We couldn't figure out why he wouldn't listen to us to go get help. THIS VIDEO MAKES IT SO CLEAR NOW! THANK YOU!
I have done so much research on this topic because my little sister is going through all of this. My heart is broken and I keep trying to find videos to give me answers. I will be using the tool to communicate with her. Thank you for explaining the importance of this issue.
@@kingsleyuzoechi7826 hi, I'm dealing with a dear loved one with schizophrenia now, too. I'm looking for answers and other people going through the same thing right now...would you want to message about your experience? this is all so confusing.
I’m praying for you I have two brothers one diagnosed at 18 and the other just now at age 31 I can say that this is a hardest thing I’ve gone thru prayer to you guys
This is so important! There's much less material on how families and loved ones should deal with the mentally ill. And it doesn't even help that the traditional media only shows involuntary admission and everything he just said NOT to do.
I'm a hospital security guard posted in the psyche unit. My heart breaks for the parents that have to go through this with their children. Stay strong mom your baby needs you. ❤
@@djdavidj5531 You have no idea how a compassionate security person has helped me with their kind words. Some have taken a moment to literally care and listen. It helped me more than I can say!
My son suffers with the same symptoms. He will not accept there's anything wrong. I have never doubted his word. I realised early on that he truly believes there's nothing wrong with his thoughts. I have never doubted his sincerity. It must be a living nightmare for him. I just wish he would get some treatment. It can't come soon enough. I feel so helpless seeing him like this.
Really engaging talk, drew me right in when he began his demonstration with Richard. Alarms went off immediately... Wow, good job, putting us in the patient's space.
Part of the problem for some people is the side effects of the medications used to treat psychosis. Every antipsychotic currently used blocks dopamine. Dopamine is involved in feelings of reward, pleasure, and controlled movement.. Blocking dopamine is chemically similar to inducing Parkinson's disease, and can cause depression. The medications might be easier to try and to continue to take if medication existed to treat such symptoms that didn't block dopamine.
I have a 31 Year old son with schizophrenia and the role play….broke my heart, Changed my perspective and will make me better at helping him. Thank you so much
I see what you're saying but...I've struggled to help my fiance ...hardest thing I've ever had to do...my love, nor his families love concerns him, he pushes us away, thinks we're crazy. Treats us horribly. He runs towards strangers, homeless people...for instance, he just left me for someone he met in the psych ward.... Threw away our 7yr, loyal, committed relationship for a stranger with mental issues that he just met. You can't make this stuff up. This is such a mindphuck for me, my head spins. Almost too much to take. His empathy for me is gone...he has no insight he is Ill . If you had a breakthrough with your loved one, then I applaud you for your patience but know you are extremely lucky. I wish it was that simple
Wow, the volunteer part was really surprising. I at first thought it was fake but as he starts talking it becomes really unnerving how you can't even know you have something.
We all need to learn how to be normal......it would be so helpful for our society....we need to medicalize any behavior that strays from what we have been told is normal behavior. Right now only 20% of our population is being medicated and we should attempt to get that number up to at least 50%
I thought he's an actor! And I thought if he's really Richard and he really has a wife Eleanor, this volunteer experience might plant a seed in him that she's not really his wife and he might start to have a delusion like that in a few years. I hope they're still happily married. But I could really see in his face that his whole world was crashing down to be told convincingly that Eleanor is not really his wife.
@@adtc Richard's family requested this (public) intervention. Dr. Amador stated that he was not comfortable doing it. Perhaps his family thought that if it was done in public, Richard might be jarred into reality.
I have bipolar manic depression I also have hypoxia brain injury I died 26minutes spent weeks months in coma rehab hospital learning talk walk again been a recovery massive discovery never ever give up on yourself many will never yourselves keep going doing amazing things stay strong stay positive stay safe everyone takecare sending luck hugs prayers most of all love from headway Nottingham UK great speech keep going doing amazing things
Thank you. You are the only person in over 52 years who has explained to me what I've always tried to explain to psychiatrists about my siblings total lack of insight into their life altering disease. They must have known about Dr.Babinski's research, discovering brain damage to be a symptom. But these psychiatrists between approx; 1970s and 2024 Ireland kept their thoughts to themselves and preferred to blame my mother's spoilng them as children and my siblings 'difficult' personalities. I spent years of my life trying to figure out between my intuition and those in the Irish medical profession. Thank you again for your important informative and very kind talk helping us understand more and redirecting some of us, me included, to change how we talk to our loved ones with this disorder.
Dr. Amador, thank you. I am a clinical psychologist who works with survivors of traumatic brain injury. This is a truly wonderful discussion of anosognosia and its impact on treatment. Again, thank you, Sir!
Thank you for posting this video. Recently, I have been struggling with my Uncle who is paranoid schizophrenic. I understood what the illness was, but I never understood what it was like to live with this illness. My Uncle takes it out on his Sister (aka. My Mother) who is really struggling with how to help him. He has been sectioned over 5 times in the past 3 years, and has refused to take his medication for 7. This really opened my eyes, and I hope one day.. my Uncle can have some sort of peace in his life. Thank you again Dr Amador.
This video came up as a recommendation. I've been scanning YT for some time now about this subject and haven't found anything of this calibre; this even trumps Living With Schizophrenia, with Dr. Amador, here on YT. This is such valuable information, especially for those of us who have a loved one with this diagnosis. I think I'll start with what ended this video: "Apology", multiple. Thank you for publishing this video. I believe you've helped me save the relationship that means the most in the world to me. This video really needs to be pushed to the forefront of recommendations for viewing. Thanks Tedx, and Dr. Amador!
But how do you do any of this if you are the subject of their delusion? My daughter thinks I caused her symptoms to take her child away. How am I supposed to help her while she's accusing me of horrible things?
This! Have you had an luck? I second this question. How do we do it if we are the subjects of delusions? Do I just apologize for hurting him/her? Would that validate them? And will they trust me enough to not accuse me again?
I love this technique. I used the same when my sister was having a Psychotic episode. I empathised with her. She shared more with me, including that she was highly anxious and unsure of everything. It was then that I was able to suggest going to the ER, to see if they could help her with those anxious feelings. It worked. She went to the ER. Followed by a 3 week psych ward stay, where she was medicated and stabilised.
My brother I’ve been taking care with schizophrenia and this is how I already talk to him ! It does need some work but it’s the approach is the same about listening to him. Thank you so much for this Dr. Amador
I had peuperal psychosis after my first baby was born. I took her to the hospital coz she wasn't right but they were only concerned about me. After a day spent without any tests done on my baby I decided I had to leave her forcing them to look after my baby and discover what was wrong. It was one of the hardest and bravest things I've done The paediatrician confirmed the following morning that my baby had an infection of the umbilical cord and I had been right to bring her in. That same day before I had a chance to go see my baby a psychiatrist & 2 social workers came to my mums home when she was out where I lived and cared me off to an acute psychiatric ward I was under Section and petrified, surrounded by I'll men & women. I believed my new baby had actually died at the hospital and the hospital wanted me certified so that they could blame me for her death. Can you imagine how distraught I was? The psychosis got worse in the hours that followed, if only they had allowed me to see my baby , hold her, know she was in safe hands. This is a perfect example of when the very nature of the mental illness doesn't allow for any insight. I didn't believe i was ill. It was all a conspiracy since my sisters had called the hospital threatening the staff with law suits for allowing me to leave the same day my baby was born. I was diagnosed bipolar. It's only been psychosis and mania where my grip on reality has left me. The rest of the time I am fully aware and in touch of reality.
You are one of many who have been destroyed or nearly destroyed by our "mental illness system". Here is a quote I love: "the mental-health’ industry was not established to support people, but to individualize and medicalize the social misery created by capitalist rule.” Susan Rosenthal (2019). Rebel Minds
This sounds to me like you were much more with it than anyone gave you credit for! You had just given birth! You felt and knew something was amiss with your baby! You got your baby medical help! I think they treated you very badly. I think they were inhumane towards you and created a burgeoning problem. I do not believe you were actually "mentally ill" as such. One feels off kilter and exhausted after giving birth. One needs lots of support and love! Bless you x
I think I might be missing something...!? How does this story make you bipolar or experiencing psychosis? You did what you had to do to get help for your baby and they claimed you were psychotic, when as it turns out, you were right? I don't get it I'm sorry. You sound normal?
Thank you for this video. I’m going through the exact same situation with my younger brother and I love him so much and it’s been a long, hard, and confusing journey. I want to help him as much as I can and be his biggest supporter.
Found myself in tears listening to this- hearing about the possibility of repaired relationships is the most hope I’ve felt for my brother in several years. I’m reading your book, and I’m hoping to be practice the LEAP method and bring these communication techniques to our conversations. I just want to see him happy and healthy. Thank you.
Such an insightful encouraging story to hear. Instead of the pessimism people have towards mental illness and they are often villified, we need to listen and encourage them.
Helping is hard but critical. Loving boundaries are helping me with a loved one diagnosed with schizophrenia. Thank you so much for this important information!
I have been in a loving caring relationship with a wonderful beautiful gifted woman for five years. I want to thank you for opening my mind to a new way of understanding and dealing with her illness, luckily she has two sisters and her mother in Russia who also love and support her
Why don't you find a woman that, say, maybe isn't as hot as your russian lady, but is stable mentally? If you ever decide to have a family, those children deserve a mother that can be there for them, and can give them sane advice and can be consistent in their nurture.
I've been married for 13 years & now that my wife turned 30 year's old she's been acting out with bad symptoms of paranoia & delusions and she doesn't want any help she is distancing herself from me. And I feel so helpless and depressed with her condition. I feel like my best friend is going away for ever she's not the person I've known for many years and I just don't know what to do.
ugh...yes, i feel your pain so badly. everything you said, exactly how it feels. hope things are better....did she ever get help or come back to normal??
oh, it's so painful, I hate this disease so much. There's just nothing that can be done, it's so damaging to everyone around the individual, too. We must progress as a society... bring more minds and attention to this condition aa possible.
My youngest son has been ill mentally for about 4 years now.He is 20. He is proactive in seeking help; one day he came to me at 16, asking to see a psychiatrist. Since then I have taken him to countless psychiatrists and different types of psychotherapists and he now has an amazing NHS Psychiatrist looking after him. He is treatment resistant, so has changed and tried and combined antidepressants. The anti d still aren't of much help. It is so difficult to see him suffer. There is very little improvement since 4 years ago. He is very bright and was going to study medicine but all had to stop when he fell sick. He couldn't even sit his A levels. I encourage him to be positive although I am in pieces inside, but even that can make his mind question himself. We as a family is supportive but yet need to be mindful on when to speak as he may be having many thoughts and dreams that cause him to feel disassiociated and distant and irritable. I had so much hope in medicine, therapies and exercise, nature..but after seeing no results, I am losing hope. It's terribly difficult as I must always appear positive for my son, otherwise it will affect him.
I’m sorry you have both suffered so. Your story hits close to home. The treatment resistant part makes me wonder if you have looked into a PANS diagnosis? There are many infections which can cause psychosis and delusions...and that can be a reason why the illness isn’t remedied with psych meds.
That was very insightful, putting it to work is another thing. My son has been struggling with mental illness for years, I don't know how to help him anymore God knows. One day he will be free
This is soo interesting. I'm psychotic but take no medications yet I'm not in denial and I'm majorly self aware but this is great for those who are the opposite :)
Are you angry a lot? Really paranoid :/ ? My friend has punched people in parking lots for looking at her wrong. I thought she was self aware as well. Now I'm not sure. Might as well say I have schizophrenia now cus Idk what is real anymore or how people are "supposed " to act.
I discovered Dr Amador via mental health advocate Kay Warren, wife of pastor Rick Warren, in Lake Forest CA. So grateful for this insightful information and research as my family processes our own grief recovery and mental illness.
I am living with this question for 26 years and there’s an approach that matters, it’s actually ‘affectionate indifference’ which seems like a contradiction in terms, but it isn’t. It enables a caring relationship that doesn’t try to fix the situation, compassionate interaction and understanding that a respectful distance is also necessary. Something that may be looked into is what J Krishnamurti refers to as ‘complete inaction’ is also on my psychological radar screen. Burnout is real, but it can be averted by holistic intelligence. Understanding that compassion is not a positive state of mind, as some religions might suggest, it is a negation of false impressions of security. Cheers
@@vreytee This question of ‘what to do’ assumes that something must be done to change the situation and therefore calls for an intervention to react accordingly. This is what professionals advise needs remedial action - change ‘what is’ to ‘what should be’ and so that’s the standard response. Now that is a limited response which doesn’t necessarily satisfy the exigencies that you and the ‘nuisance’ person are faced with and therefore there’s residual discontent in large degrees and a looming sense of hopelessness, perhaps. The problem solving approach has fallen short and one is left in what seems to be an impossible dilemma. This is a real crisis out of which a different perspective that may be called choice-less awareness is possible and this is where letting go of the problem solving conditioning starts to make sense. You are standing alone completely, suffering has reached its zenith and compassion is emerging from the insight of awareness. So at this point the fact of insightful attention may show that complete inaction is possible to deal with ‘what is’ without burnout or exhaustion. Insight is intelligence of a dimension that we are generally not aware of, but it has to be lived not contemplated by thought processes.
I have a bi-polar brother who has been I’ll the past 40 years. He does not take his meds. Now he spends 75% of his time suing people. He sued the phone company because he believed they overcharged him 87 cents. He has been suing several individuals and businesses for over 20 years. Of course he has lost all these suits but files appeal after appeal.
@@dianakarina8080 my brother has filed 28 lawsuits (basically against the same 3 organizations) over the past 20 years. He has spent thousands of dollars (which he doesn’t have) in so doing. He is not able to listen to advice so we as a family do not offer it anymore. He goes his own way. We do not invite him to family get togethers unless it is immediate family. He is always “starting up” some fictitious company and then requesting we send him money to help finance it.
Unfortunately I was one of the 50% who wouldn't take medication for a while and I nearly died but because of approaches like yours and not people just telling me I'm ill convinced me to take medication and for the past couple years I've taken my medication like I'm supposed to and haven't had any severe delusions or hallucinations in a month.I've gone through many medication changes to find what works and that's part of why I was so resistant to medication because I was convinced it wouldn't work
What medications did u take? My mom is going thru this and I wouldn’t say it’s bad as in she isn’t taking care of us or harming anyone. She still does what she’s always done but I stead she talks as if she was talking to someone. She says there are people hiding around our house with cameras spying on us and stealing our information. She even thinks that I’m with them and she hears voices of ppl telling her to not eat or making fun of her because she eats. So when we are in public she says “no que no comen” or “thought they didn’t eat”. I’ve always had anger issues but it’s calmed down compared to a few years ago but because of this it gets me really pissed when my mom accuses me of such things or when I’m on the phone with my gf and my mom accuses her of stuff to and I start arguing with her.
I'm struggling with my mum at the moment, she just won't accept she's unwell 💔 she thinks I'm trying to hurt her along with others, I feel so helpless.
@@shola7987 yes thankfully there has been, she was hospilised for a few months, got a correct diagnosis, medicated & is now back to herself. It was the most stressful time of my life but im so glad I got my mum back. I wish you all the best with it.
I found myself listening to this video because my cousin is I believe suffering from this kind of situation. I was shocked when she opened up about her hearing voices, about these voices ganged stalk her for 4 years now! I think it is a terrible experience. Her family, especially her husband and her sister are completely dismissing her saying she has to talk to a psychiatrist. And I want to help her.
I'm going through the same thing with my daughter now for a decade. She's 30 years old and also taking heroïne because she says it helps to keep the voices calm. I'm at my end ..... I don't know anyhow what to do.... I should have seem this 5 or 6 years ago, maybe I could have helped my daughter.... I have the feeling she is in a downwards spiral for a little while noeand it goes faster and faster...
Anosognosia could also be applied to the notion, "You are important." We all live with a little anosognosia and life tends to deal our firmly held beliefs substantial reality checks from time to time.
Kimberly Carter Don’t feel bad. You are human. Living with someone with a mental illness isn’t easy. Now you can go forward armed with this information. Don’t forget though people with delusions are still ill.
Wow that was so good! I unfortunately told my bf he was having delusions and needed to go to the hospital. We had a plan before if he was starting to have an episode I would tell him and he would go get help. Well of course that didn’t work once he was in psychosis. I even called the mental health police but he convinced them he was fine and I was stalking him and making it up. He then got really mad and threw all my stuff in the lawn while I was at work. Then he ran away and lived in the woods for a month, which makes no sense as he had money. Haven’t seen him in three months now. He has a new gf and they are in alcohol addiction and living in a car. He had been sober 4 years.
@Emily R L Girl, is there a way we connect to talk? Plz. I'm searching for answers or use anyone to talk to that has a similar experience to what I'm dealing with right now...and wow...it's almost identical....with my fiance, who just left me for a girl he met in the psych ward...and he willingly lives in a tent ⛺️....it's so painful though....and my head is spinning how fast it came about and he just threw away a 7yr committed, loyal, loving relationship, as well as his entire family and job....
Really informative, though i think it would have been better if the term was "nosoagnosia" which in Greek would literally mean "not knowing you have a disease" rather than "anosognosia" which would translate to "knowing that you're immune"
Its hard to listen and agree when my partner thinks he is God (and Satan) and a target of the Jews and constantly trashes my christian beliefs. But after 17 years I've never told him he was sick, even though I wish I could, I know he would never consider it. My fear of him keeps my mouth shut. His delusions are getting worse and I can only imagine how this will end.
This is a good approach to handling the situation. But also, if you understand that the visible world is sustained by the invisible, that there's indeed a world not visible to the physical eyes, then it shouldn't be difficult to know that some of what is called hallucinations are actually there, and not everyone will see it. The conscientious Doctor of the future will take this into account and be able to better help a patient going through psychosis, letting them know that they're not entirely bonkers.
@@parisa5014 well, you may be right in that regard, but usually the patient feels distinctly that nothing is wrong with them when in reality they are not keeping too well.
@@parisa5014 yes there are those living with a mental ailment who are quite capable of fending for themselves financially without any support. These form a little percentage of the mentally ill people, and most often than not they have come to grips with the fact that they have a mental health problem and hence adhere to treatment provided by the caregivers. Unfortunately, the majority need help and support (both moral and financial)to be able to function properly in a society where mental illness is already quite looked down upon.
Dr. Amador I would love to hear more about how someone in your mother's position for example, could use this technique. Where she is the "target" of the delusion especially when there is the potential for harm to self or others.
The mother should be respectful of boundaries that he wishes which could ultimately help to rebuild that trust as well as maintain safety. Maybe even discuss ways to make the person more comfortable i.e. wearing sunglasses pe what ever the mother and son can agree upon.
Im so sorry for you have lost your brother now that you got him back!!! Im even more sorry for your brother who finally came out of his schizophrenia-nightmare back to life and then lost it under that f... car-assident. 😢😡
I wonder if you know how your brother finally found his way back to life. Im sure its not just the medication he took? I ask cause I am infected with the severe diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder since about 20 years and lithiophor helped me to not running in mania and kind of made me functual - more or less. But I never came back to life. To really feel alife was during my phases of mania, but these allways leed to psychosis and then I start to see conspirations everywhere, even in normal situations like elections or terorism or car-accidents and usually I get in conflict with the police who send me back to the psychiatric ward where they fix me my lithium-level and bring me back down; verry deep down to severe Depression and after some months or even years im back in my robotic numb existence without any joy of life but at least functual - on an IV-Level in an assisted living, working on an assisted workplace half a day. Thats the quality of life I can expect from taking well-beaved my medication but when I see the picture of you and your brother, I can see real feelings; thats why Im asking.
Omg it works to repeat back the delutions..warm and trust comes back. Cooperation on their medication from their part. Thanks so much it has been the most difficult to deal with anosognotia for so many many years like 50.
I have a mother that is mentally ill but never diagnosed (my therapist thinks it's probably schizoaffective disorder) and if you just mention mental illness, she has a melt down...we learned long ago never to mention it even though she put everyone through a lot of distress
There's a thin line between genius and crazy, some of us like to jump rope with this line. Lol, can't remember where I read it but I'll be back to edit
Hopefully your not doing what our mom did and that was to enable him with her coddling of him. If he lives with you you give him one choice, get help and or take your meds or you cant live here. You must suffer the consequences of your actions or you will repeat them. The worst thing you can do for your son is let him make the rules and then you tip toeing around him, if he does something your dont like then you have to make him undo it
This is a very interesting TED Talk and it raises some great questions about reality. How do we know we are not delusional? Could these strategies, used to get delusional people to take needed medication, also be used to get perfectly sane people to take unnecessary medications and check themselves into a mental hospital?
Great talk. Einstein never said the "definition of insanity" quote. It is said to have originated in Narcotics Anonymous in the 80's. It is quoted in AA and NA quite often.
This is all well and good but he is destroying lives, been incarcerated, committed only to be released from psych. ward after he used his charm saying he would accept treatment when out. Nothing has worked. He uses some drugs, goes on a three day binge of sleeping only eating and bathroom, no hygiene care. Help! He is my 32 year old grandson.
Really interesting thanks so much for sharing this. I wasn't aware of this. For many when they are medicated they will recover and gain insight into their illness - and remain well - thankfully - maybe even coming off medication over time. and accessing other therapies. Sending love to those still suffering and their loved ones.
I agree with you that denial is a symptom. Sorry, I have to disagree with you, relationship even if excellent, will not convince a patient to seek treatment.
It's not that easy as he tries to explain, not everyone is the same, not ever reacts the same to his approach, sometimes agreeing with them and going by his approach might lead them to do stuff they aren't supposed to of a situation to get worse, I'm glad all this worked for his brother but like I said his approach doesn't work for everyone, specially if the are agnostic and don't realize they need help.
I understand the LEAP method and why it would work however I’m going through this with my brother and all he wants is money... He’s broke and if you don’t offer him money he just gets VERY ANGRY and doesn’t want to talk to you... Our family has no idea how to help without enabling he’s manic spending... Please help
Dr. Amador, I believe an area that really has to change is the area where Parents of their children, regardless of age, can make medical decisions for them. I have a good friend whose hands are tied with their mentally ill son, and he is not receiving the help he needs because he is not recognizing his own illness. His medication was changed by his doctor and is causing real problems and on the previous medication he was doing well according to his parents, but the doctor won't listen to the parents, only to the 32 year old mentally ill son. The son never takes responsibility for his own actions and blames the parents, and they can't even get the help for him he needs because he doesn't think he is ill.
Stop trying to make decisions for Schizophrenic people, just be there and accept them. I'm just 27 but I'd prefer dying over having my parents make medical/any decisions for me and certainly many with other Schizoaffective disorders think similarly. The example of Dr. Xaviers brother(and literally the subject of this talk) prefering to live on the streets over hearing his family decide what he needs help with clearly shows that, in my opinion. People like you only seem like greedy emotional puppets that want to feel better about themselves to me. You don't care about what that son wants for himself, you just want what you think is "right" for him. When is the last time these parents tried to seriously understand and care for their son? Sounds to me like they were quite busy telling him how much help he needs and how terrible his condition is for everyone. I realize you're not the actual parent here so I apologize for my rudeness, but that just makes this seem so much more absurd - the parents are exerting so much emotional pressure to others that even a person from outside the family wants to medicate this son against his will. No wonder he believes everyone is out to get him when people actually act that way around him, jesus.
What you are describing would be a dream. My son was psychotic and delusional while being given medication and he I am not supported and have had him living with me without relief for years. I have tried to get disability for him. He has been homeless and as a result ended up in jail. He then was released to me and has been living with me ever since. His is going to be 30 this year. what would be another real support other than a doctor or mental health. I am not his gaurdian. He won't give me that right and the mental health system won't do it either.
I'm curious what course it takes for people with this disorders to seek help. If they are not aware their reality is a delusion, what clicks that tells them, 'oh I have a problem and I need medication'?
I'd like to know that too... Can just having a better way to communicating with them make them "see" that they have a problem and want to fix it? I want to have hope that it can help me get through to my son. At least I understand now that it's not just stubborn denial. It's a disease. I too have bipolar disorder but am properly medicated. This approach may be really hard for my reactive/impulsive urge to lecture and want to fix him.
My mom has schizophrenia. Asking her to get help has never worked. This roleplay made me feel sick, I can understand why she's resistant now. Her delusions, she calls them her memories, are of assault and having a child stolen. She still looks for that child. If I had those horrible memories, I would keep looking too. Thank you for this. You're helping me to understand my mother's daily life.
self help, first everybody wants truth , Nobody wanrs to be honest
How do you know it’s a delusion?
I hope you are okay now. ❤ I'm sorry about your mom.
It made me sick to my stomach too. Mostly because it's so hard to trust your own perceptions when you're unwell so you have to depend on others around you for that information. Like your husband.
And if your husband is abusive and lies about and grossly exaggerates your behaviour because he can't fathom himself being anything except a doting husband so you must be the sole problem, those lies seem even more true to the hospital staff. Because not believing you're sick is a symptom of being sick, and the spouse can often provide useful information.
It's awful. I spent over a year with him quietly telling everyone and their dog that I was violent and severely bipolar. And they listened. Everyone did. Because he's the spouse and I'm the sick wife.
In the end it wasn't me who was violent, though his performance on the stand at his criminal trial sure was Oscar-worthy.
Dr. Amador's LEAP approach saved my son's life. We were so lucky to find this early on, and he got treatment and got better. Hasn't needed meds for over a decade and is doing very well in life.
I will be watching this video repeatedly. I am a patient watch security officer in a hospital. You have reinforced what has been nagging at me for a while. Either they aren't teaching this in school or many of the Healthcare providers have become calloused.
If you can bring compassion into the hospital, you will bring space and acceptance and it will matter. Sounds like you are a compassionate security officer & therefore an unsung hero but know that you make a difference.
Oh my God. That’s terrible!
Can you suggest the video for all staff to watch as part of professional development?
Damn man, I hope you see this comment, people like you who work in that field and stay compassionate to the people under your care are heroes. I have family in the same field and it’s sad realizing even great people can become desensitized after long enough. People like you who have compassion for the less fortunate make a real difference to them and their families.
we appreciate you man.
Thank you for caring. One person's compassion is often what saves our loved ones' lives. And you never know who you might impact by your example.
This is one of the most insightful mental health videos I've ever seen. Very simple explanations/examples, no fluff.
If I had knew this before my schizophrenic son committed suicide I'd help him in an effectual way instead of pressuring him non-stop. PLEASE share this video.
I'm so sorry for your loss 🙏🏻💓
I'm so sorry to read this my lovely. There simply aren't the words i could say that would ever make that ok.This video is helping me understand my son with psychosis and I'm tempted to send it to his family too. Hugs.
I have known a few schizophrenic people in my life and want to note that they are the most caring, intelligent, sensitive, empathic, kind people I have ever known. They are on a higher level of human being in terms of kindness and openness. Just my experience. 💗
Same.
Not all times and not all of them, but you are right---there are many who are more sensitive when they are stable!
My son as well a beautiful person. Just in crisis now
Agreed. Some are people who have taken on the weight of the world with a smile and cried to themselves at night. And then at some point they take on too much and they break. I hope that everyone dealing with this illness finds peace 💜
You just described my brother 🥺
I called a Nami national mental health help line for advice on how to help my sister who is bi polar, and the woman I spoke to directed me to these videos. Our brother was also bi polar and killed himself with an overdose. I wish I had sought harder to support him…. And tried harder to understand bipolar illness. I will never forgive myself… but with my sister, his twin, I’m learning everything I can to be a support to her like I wasn’t for my brother.
These videos and your book are a god send!!!!!! Bless you!
Nice. That's awesome of you. Hope you are your sister are doing well.
@@aijazsiddique8713 sadly, my sister disappeared somewhere into Nevada. She calls once in a while, she refuses to take her medication but she has managed to stay out of trouble. She was arrested a couple times. She doesn’t think she’s sick. It ended up she’s not bi-polar., but has schizoaffective disorder. It’s frustrating… but I will never give up on her. 🙏🏼
@@mcricks1980 hey. Blessings and lots of luck to you. My sister had schizophrenia. She would refuse to have treatment and would have horrible episodes where she thought everyone was trying to hurt her/institutionalize her. Eventually we convinced her to get treatment and start her medication. It’s been three years since then and she is doing great. She keeps herself busy and also tries to help us. So don’t give up.
@@aijazsiddique8713 it’s frustrating. I love her so much… and am so worried I’ll lose her like we lost our brother…
I’ll keep my chin up and keep trying. Thank you for the encouragement. 🙏🏼
I'm going through this with my brother right now. Helping him is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.
Sorry to hear that, for both you and your brother. He's lucky to have you. I hope things are going okay.
@Sickpete Forpresident2024 Thank you for helping your brother. It's so heartwarming to hear that there are still people out there trying their best to help a loved one
I was trying to help my friend but she blocked me out... I was too close. It hurts so bad. I miss her. Now I want to die for my failure just like she does.
its hard this helps
Going through the same with my sister too and you are right it’s so hard!!
This has absolutely changed my perspective. I’m just blown away. Now I know how to treat my long-time friend. Instead of trying to convince him to seek help, I will simply do the only thing I really CAN do: I will be a friend. A compassionate, understanding friend. Nothing more, nothing less. 🤍 Thank you sir, for your life-changing advice.
respect
High-five. ❤
I hope you are doing great as well as your friend.
The people who helped me the most didn't even know what I was going through. I used to have breakfast at a bakery just to say good morning to the clerk who was always so nice. And to hear normal people talking. They will never know. Plus my younger sister would always bright my day just by being herself.
Has it made a difference? Would love to hear an update-
I found kindness to them to be exceptionally helpful and starts to draw them closer to me.
The demo part brought tears to my eyes! I have been taking my younger sister, now 65 years old, to the psychiatrists for over thirty years! The major problem is refusal by members of my home to understand her illness and be co-operative. She will be sleeping under medication and my people will be discussing loudly about something or talk loudly and watch tv serials at loud volume. To get one to not say or do anything to incite her I have to shout at them and force them into quietude. I begged them and finally it is quiet now... I am 73 years old now. My family members refused to see the psychiatrist who wanted to educate them on how to handle her. Education of family members is a must. Hope to God, one day my sister will take her medicine voluntarily! Thank you Dr. Xavier for your TEDx talk. God bless you!
A very heartbreaking disorder. This is a very insightful video for someone trying to understand schizophrenia. I cried after seeing this because I could see that I had done everything wrong. The positive part is that I could see how to do things differently. Thank you Dr. Amador.
I cried too, specially when he was using the man in the audience as an example, it totally made me realize what my loved one is going through all the time
It really changed my perspective, because the truth is we don't experience what they experience. What was confusing for me though is after you're compassionate and you show them that you understand, how then can you try to help them understand that it's not reality and it's the illness? Because you want them to be able to distinguish a false perception and a real one. So that they can trust their instincts which prevents them from being used, but at the same time, you don't want them to act on a false belief.
It really is a challenge.
@@kaym.2854 that's one of the many. Many answers I'm seeking...this is so hard, as a loved one. Trying to help someone with psychosis eventually makes you feel as though you yourself are losing touch with reality. Wouldn't wish this horrible illness on anyone.
@@dianakarina8080 Strength goes out to you. Hang in there. One thing I've learned is that self-care is very important. It's not selfish to be kind to yourself
There are no right and wrong ways of doing things... only love knows rightly... psych treatment does only harm ... it's abusive...
OMG! My brother who is an amazing person was in a tragic car accident and has become Mentally ill with paranoia and delusions. We couldn't figure out why he wouldn't listen to us to go get help. THIS VIDEO MAKES IT SO CLEAR NOW! THANK YOU!
Eric Bruns :)
do i show him the video
I have done so much research on this topic because my little sister is going through all of this. My heart is broken and I keep trying to find videos to give me answers. I will be using the tool to communicate with her. Thank you for explaining the importance of this issue.
Same here how is your sister now
@@kingsleyuzoechi7826 hi, I'm dealing with a dear loved one with schizophrenia now, too. I'm looking for answers and other people going through the same thing right now...would you want to message about your experience? this is all so confusing.
I’m praying for you I have two brothers one diagnosed at 18 and the other just now at age 31 I can say that this is a hardest thing I’ve gone thru prayer to you guys
My little sister is dealing with this. I don't know what to do.
Sometimes it's not 'I don't need help' it's 'youre meds aren't helping and won't help because you also don't know what you're doing'
This is so important! There's much less material on how families and loved ones should deal with the mentally ill. And it doesn't even help that the traditional media only shows involuntary admission and everything he just said NOT to do.
Exactly. It's near impossible to get them to get themselves help.
Going through this with my precious daughter. I appreciate the insight. It's very helpful. Thankyou
❤❤❤
I'm a hospital security guard posted in the psyche unit. My heart breaks for the parents that have to go through this with their children. Stay strong mom your baby needs you. ❤
@@djdavidj5531 You have no idea how a compassionate security person has helped me with their kind words. Some have taken a moment to literally care and listen. It helped me more than I can say!
I am going through this now with my son. I am looking for any help available.
@@jmomm I have been seeing an increase in minors coming into the hospital and being put on psych holds.
My son suffers with the same symptoms. He will not accept there's anything wrong. I have never doubted his word. I realised early on that he truly believes there's nothing wrong with his thoughts. I have never doubted his sincerity. It must be a living nightmare for him.
I just wish he would get some treatment. It can't come soon enough. I feel so helpless seeing him like this.
Please look up Jerry Marzinsky
Really engaging talk, drew me right in when he began his demonstration with Richard. Alarms went off immediately...
Wow, good job, putting us in the patient's space.
That exercise is powerful. Very insightful and eye opening. Especially to those of us who couldn't "save" their loved one.
When he went to the guy in the audience it really hit home for me. Fantastic speech
Part of the problem for some people is the side effects of the medications used to treat psychosis. Every antipsychotic currently used blocks dopamine. Dopamine is involved in feelings of reward, pleasure, and controlled movement.. Blocking dopamine is chemically similar to inducing Parkinson's disease, and can cause depression. The medications might be easier to try and to continue to take if medication existed to treat such symptoms that didn't block dopamine.
They think that overactive dopamine causes the symptoms so that’s why the medication blocks it. Not sure if it would work otherwise
I have a 31
Year old son with
schizophrenia and the role play….broke my heart,
Changed my perspective and will make me better at helping him. Thank you so much
This is beautifully powerful because what it comes down to is LOVE. You love the person where they are at, it doesn’t matter how wrong they may be.
I see what you're saying but...I've struggled to help my fiance ...hardest thing I've ever had to do...my love, nor his families love concerns him, he pushes us away, thinks we're crazy. Treats us horribly.
He runs towards strangers, homeless people...for instance, he just left me for someone he met in the psych ward....
Threw away our 7yr, loyal, committed relationship for a stranger with mental issues that he just met.
You can't make this stuff up.
This is such a mindphuck for me, my head spins.
Almost too much to take. His empathy for me is gone...he has no insight he is Ill .
If you had a breakthrough with your loved one, then I applaud you for your patience but know you are extremely lucky. I wish it was that simple
I’ve been a mental health nurse for nearly 40 years...this is such good information..thank you
Wow, the volunteer part was really surprising. I at first thought it was fake but as he starts talking it becomes really unnerving how you can't even know you have something.
Well If it's normal for the person, it's normal which is relative, such as you can be acclimated to good and bad as well
We all need to learn how to be normal......it would be so helpful for our society....we need to medicalize any behavior that strays from what we have been told is normal behavior. Right now only 20% of our population is being medicated and we should attempt to get that number up to at least 50%
I thought he's an actor! And I thought if he's really Richard and he really has a wife Eleanor, this volunteer experience might plant a seed in him that she's not really his wife and he might start to have a delusion like that in a few years. I hope they're still happily married. But I could really see in his face that his whole world was crashing down to be told convincingly that Eleanor is not really his wife.
@@adtc Richard's family requested this (public) intervention. Dr. Amador stated that he was not comfortable doing it. Perhaps his family thought that if it was done in public, Richard might be jarred into reality.
@@Queendamidala Are you saying he doesn't really have Eleanor as his wife?
I have bipolar manic depression I also have hypoxia brain injury I died 26minutes spent weeks months in coma rehab hospital learning talk walk again been a recovery massive discovery never ever give up on yourself many will never yourselves keep going doing amazing things stay strong stay positive stay safe everyone takecare sending luck hugs prayers most of all love from headway Nottingham UK great speech keep going doing amazing things
Thank you. You are the only person in over 52 years who has explained to me what I've always tried to explain to psychiatrists about my siblings total lack of insight into their life altering disease.
They must have known about Dr.Babinski's research, discovering brain damage to be a symptom. But these psychiatrists between approx; 1970s and 2024 Ireland kept their thoughts to themselves and preferred to blame my mother's spoilng them as children and my siblings 'difficult' personalities. I spent years of my life trying to figure out between my intuition and those in the Irish medical profession.
Thank you again for your important informative and very kind talk helping us understand more and redirecting some of us, me included, to change how we talk to our loved ones with this disorder.
Dr. Amador, thank you. I am a clinical psychologist who works with survivors of traumatic brain injury. This is a truly wonderful discussion of anosognosia and its impact on treatment. Again, thank you, Sir!
Me too. Thanks m
Thank you for posting this video. Recently, I have been struggling with my Uncle who is paranoid schizophrenic. I understood what the illness was, but I never understood what it was like to live with this illness. My Uncle takes it out on his Sister (aka. My Mother) who is really struggling with how to help him. He has been sectioned over 5 times in the past 3 years, and has refused to take his medication for 7. This really opened my eyes, and I hope one day.. my Uncle can have some sort of peace in his life. Thank you again Dr Amador.
Same with my mom I don't know what to do
This video came up as a recommendation. I've been scanning YT for some time now about this subject and haven't found anything of this calibre; this even trumps Living With Schizophrenia, with Dr. Amador, here on YT. This is such valuable information, especially for those of us who have a loved one with this diagnosis. I think I'll start with what ended this video: "Apology", multiple. Thank you for publishing this video. I believe you've helped me save the relationship that means the most in the world to me. This video really needs to be pushed to the forefront of recommendations for viewing. Thanks Tedx, and Dr. Amador!
But how do you do any of this if you are the subject of their delusion? My daughter thinks I caused her symptoms to take her child away. How am I supposed to help her while she's accusing me of horrible things?
This! Have you had an luck? I second this question. How do we do it if we are the subjects of delusions? Do I just apologize for hurting him/her? Would that validate them? And will they trust me enough to not accuse me again?
I love this technique. I used the same when my sister was having a Psychotic episode. I empathised with her. She shared more with me, including that she was highly anxious and unsure of everything. It was then that I was able to suggest going to the ER, to see if they could help her with those anxious feelings. It worked. She went to the ER. Followed by a 3 week psych ward stay, where she was medicated and stabilised.
That is wonderful, do glad she was willing to get help.
My brother I’ve been taking care with schizophrenia and this is how I already talk to him ! It does need some work but it’s the approach is the same about listening to him. Thank you so much for this Dr. Amador
What do u say to him if he ask u whether u think he s crazy ?
I had peuperal psychosis after my first baby was born. I took her to the hospital coz she wasn't right but they were only concerned about me. After a day spent without any tests done on my baby I decided I had to leave her forcing them to look after my baby and discover what was wrong. It was one of the hardest and bravest things I've done The paediatrician confirmed the following morning that my baby had an infection of the umbilical cord and I had been right to bring her in.
That same day before I had a chance to go see my baby a psychiatrist & 2 social workers came to my mums home when she was out where I lived and cared me off to an acute psychiatric ward
I was under Section and petrified, surrounded by I'll men & women.
I believed my new baby had actually died at the hospital and the hospital wanted me certified so that they could blame me for her death.
Can you imagine how distraught I was?
The psychosis got worse in the hours that followed, if only they had allowed me to see my baby , hold her, know she was in safe hands.
This is a perfect example of when the very nature of the mental illness doesn't allow for any insight.
I didn't believe i was ill. It was all a conspiracy since my sisters had called the hospital threatening the staff with law suits for allowing me to leave the same day my baby was born.
I was diagnosed bipolar.
It's only been psychosis and mania where my grip on reality has left me. The rest of the time I am fully aware and in touch of reality.
You are one of many who have been destroyed or nearly destroyed by our "mental illness system". Here is a quote I love: "the mental-health’ industry was not established to support people, but to individualize and medicalize the social misery created by capitalist rule.” Susan Rosenthal (2019). Rebel Minds
@@veryskeptical2409 All I know is that I came out with more issues than I went in with!!
This sounds to me like you were much more with it than anyone gave you credit for! You had just given birth! You felt and knew something was amiss with your baby! You got your baby medical help! I think they treated you very badly. I think they were inhumane towards you and created a burgeoning problem. I do not believe you were actually "mentally ill" as such. One feels off kilter and exhausted after giving birth. One needs lots of support and love! Bless you x
@@sophiaatteberry2091 could have done with you at the time! xx
I think I might be missing something...!? How does this story make you bipolar or experiencing psychosis? You did what you had to do to get help for your baby and they claimed you were psychotic, when as it turns out, you were right? I don't get it I'm sorry. You sound normal?
Thank you for this video. I’m going through the exact same situation with my younger brother and I love him so much and it’s been a long, hard, and confusing journey. I want to help him as much as I can and be his biggest supporter.
I have not been able to get help for my wife for several years. She is clearly not well but without her approval she has had NO help.
You got to read both books!!!! They are life saving for the family of the sick person.
Found myself in tears listening to this- hearing about the possibility of repaired relationships is the most hope I’ve felt for my brother in several years. I’m reading your book, and I’m hoping to be practice the LEAP method and bring these communication techniques to our conversations. I just want to see him happy and healthy. Thank you.
Such an insightful encouraging story to hear. Instead of the pessimism people have towards mental illness and they are often villified, we need to listen and encourage them.
Helping is hard but critical. Loving boundaries are helping me with a loved one diagnosed with schizophrenia. Thank you so much for this important information!
I have been in a loving caring relationship with a wonderful beautiful gifted woman for five years. I want to thank you for opening my mind to a new way of understanding and dealing with her illness, luckily she has two sisters and her mother in Russia who also love and support her
Why don't you find a woman that, say, maybe isn't as hot as your russian lady, but is stable mentally? If you ever decide to have a family, those children deserve a mother that can be there for them, and can give them sane advice and can be consistent in their nurture.
@DH Why do you give unasked hurtful „advice“ like that to random people in the internet? I hope you’re trolling.
I’m going through all of this with my eldest daughter who is homeless and needs help. Good advice here. Thank you
oh dear, sending good and strong vibes to you
It's so sad how they always end up homeless. Stay strong.
I really hope your daughter is better now, I'm going through the same thing with my daughter now for a decade.
Thank you for this. So sorry for the loss of your brother. 🙏🏼💜 God bless you ❤️
I've been married for 13 years & now that my wife turned 30 year's old she's been acting out with bad symptoms of paranoia & delusions and she doesn't want any help she is distancing herself from me. And I feel so helpless and depressed with her condition. I feel like my best friend is going away for ever she's not the person I've known for many years and I just don't know what to do.
Talk to your doctor about it and they will guide you on what to do.
ugh...yes, i feel your pain so badly. everything you said, exactly how it feels. hope things are better....did she ever get help or come back to normal??
oh, it's so painful, I hate this disease so much. There's just nothing that can be done, it's so damaging to everyone around the individual, too.
We must progress as a society... bring more minds and attention to this condition aa possible.
Thank you very much for opening thousands of people’s eyes. Your talk is very much helpful.
My youngest son has been ill mentally for about 4 years now.He is 20. He is proactive in seeking help; one day he came to me at 16, asking to see a psychiatrist. Since then I have taken him to countless psychiatrists and different types of psychotherapists and he now has an amazing NHS Psychiatrist looking after him. He is treatment resistant, so has changed and tried and combined antidepressants. The anti d still aren't of much help. It is so difficult to see him suffer.
There is very little improvement since 4 years ago. He is very bright and was going to study medicine but all had to stop when he fell sick. He couldn't even sit his A levels. I encourage him to be positive although I am in pieces inside, but even that can make his mind question himself. We as a family is supportive but yet need to be mindful on when to speak as he may be having many thoughts and dreams that cause him to feel disassiociated and distant and irritable. I had so much hope in medicine, therapies and exercise, nature..but after seeing no results, I am losing hope. It's terribly difficult as I must always appear positive for my son, otherwise it will affect him.
I’m sorry you have both suffered so. Your story hits close to home. The treatment resistant part makes me wonder if you have looked into a PANS diagnosis? There are many infections which can cause psychosis and delusions...and that can be a reason why the illness isn’t remedied with psych meds.
That was very insightful, putting it to work is another thing.
My son has been struggling with mental illness for years, I don't know how to help him anymore God knows.
One day he will be free
The same here my son has been ill for 7+ years and nothing changes
Need help and prayers
I'm praying for you! I understand as I'm going through the same situation with my son.
Almost got into a fist fight with my brother… he is very violent and I was going to have to defend myself. It’s very difficult to deal with.
This is soo interesting. I'm psychotic but take no medications yet I'm not in denial and I'm majorly self aware but this is great for those who are the opposite :)
Are you angry a lot? Really paranoid :/ ? My friend has punched people in parking lots for looking at her wrong. I thought she was self aware as well. Now I'm not sure. Might as well say I have schizophrenia now cus Idk what is real anymore or how people are "supposed " to act.
@@sephiroth5949 I do not believe that you are looking for answers in the correct place.
I discovered Dr Amador via mental health advocate Kay Warren, wife of pastor Rick Warren, in Lake Forest CA. So grateful for this insightful information and research as my family processes our own grief recovery and mental illness.
Best insight I have seen on TH-cam regarding mental illness to date. A useful eye opener, thank you so very much!
The question I have is how do we maintain this pattern (LEAP & AAA) in the long term without mental fatigue.
I am living with this question for 26 years and there’s an approach that matters, it’s actually ‘affectionate indifference’ which seems like a contradiction in terms, but it isn’t. It enables a caring relationship that doesn’t try to fix the situation, compassionate interaction and understanding that a respectful distance is also necessary. Something that may be looked into is what J Krishnamurti refers to as ‘complete inaction’ is also on my psychological radar screen. Burnout is real, but it can be averted by holistic intelligence. Understanding that compassion is not a positive state of mind, as some religions might suggest, it is a negation of false impressions of security. Cheers
@@grahaminglis4242 what to do if a person becomes a complete nuisance and headache for people around him?
@@vreytee This question of ‘what to do’ assumes that something must be done to change the situation and therefore calls for an intervention to react accordingly. This is what professionals advise needs remedial action - change ‘what is’ to ‘what should be’ and so that’s the standard response. Now that is a limited response which doesn’t necessarily satisfy the exigencies that you and the ‘nuisance’ person are faced with and therefore there’s residual discontent in large degrees and a looming sense of hopelessness, perhaps. The problem solving approach has fallen short and one is left in what seems to be an impossible dilemma.
This is a real crisis out of which a different perspective that may be called choice-less awareness is possible and this is where letting go of the problem solving conditioning starts to make sense. You are standing alone completely, suffering has reached its zenith and compassion is emerging from the insight of awareness. So at this point the fact of insightful attention may show that complete inaction is possible to deal with ‘what is’ without burnout or exhaustion. Insight is intelligence of a dimension that we are generally not aware of, but it has to be lived not contemplated by thought processes.
I have a bi-polar brother who has been I’ll the past 40 years. He does not take his meds. Now he spends 75% of his time suing people. He sued the phone company because he believed they overcharged him 87 cents. He has been suing several individuals and businesses for over 20 years. Of course he has lost all these suits but files appeal after appeal.
omg....can you elaborate more on this, hits close about a loved one
@@dianakarina8080 my brother has filed 28 lawsuits (basically against the same 3 organizations) over the past 20 years. He has spent thousands of dollars (which he doesn’t have) in so doing. He is not able to listen to advice so we as a family do not offer it anymore. He goes his own way. We do not invite him to family get togethers unless it is immediate family.
He is always “starting up” some fictitious company and then requesting we send him money to help finance it.
Unfortunately I was one of the 50% who wouldn't take medication for a while and I nearly died but because of approaches like yours and not people just telling me I'm ill convinced me to take medication and for the past couple years I've taken my medication like I'm supposed to and haven't had any severe delusions or hallucinations in a month.I've gone through many medication changes to find what works and that's part of why I was so resistant to medication because I was convinced it wouldn't work
What medications did u take? My mom is going thru this and I wouldn’t say it’s bad as in she isn’t taking care of us or harming anyone. She still does what she’s always done but I stead she talks as if she was talking to someone. She says there are people hiding around our house with cameras spying on us and stealing our information. She even thinks that I’m with them and she hears voices of ppl telling her to not eat or making fun of her because she eats. So when we are in public she says “no que no comen” or “thought they didn’t eat”. I’ve always had anger issues but it’s calmed down compared to a few years ago but because of this it gets me really pissed when my mom accuses me of such things or when I’m on the phone with my gf and my mom accuses her of stuff to and I start arguing with her.
I'm struggling with my mum at the moment, she just won't accept she's unwell 💔 she thinks I'm trying to hurt her along with others, I feel so helpless.
Me too. Stay strong
Me too, has there been any progress?
@@shola7987 yes thankfully there has been, she was hospilised for a few months, got a correct diagnosis, medicated & is now back to herself. It was the most stressful time of my life but im so glad I got my mum back. I wish you all the best with it.
Me too and I feel abandoned by other family members.
@@ariablyton2438 how did you get her hospitalized? Did you do it involuntarily? If so, how?
I found myself listening to this video because my cousin is I believe suffering from this kind of situation. I was shocked when she opened up about her hearing voices, about these voices ganged stalk her for 4 years now! I think it is a terrible experience. Her family, especially her husband and her sister are completely dismissing her saying she has to talk to a psychiatrist. And I want to help her.
I'm going through the same thing with my daughter now for a decade. She's 30 years old and also taking heroïne because she says it helps to keep the voices calm. I'm at my end ..... I don't know anyhow what to do.... I should have seem this 5 or 6 years ago, maybe I could have helped my daughter.... I have the feeling she is in a downwards spiral for a little while noeand it goes faster and faster...
When someone tells you complete nonsense how do you respond while still being truthful
Empathize with their emotions, not delusions. You’ll never be able to talk us out of it, but you can offer emotional support
Thank you so much for this valuable information. This is a Game change for families!
Anosognosia could also be applied to the notion, "You are important." We all live with a little anosognosia and life tends to deal our firmly held beliefs substantial reality checks from time to time.
This made me cry
Me too
Me to I’m crying out for help for my son
Im crying watching this. I have been handling this all wrong. I feel so bad.
Kimberly Carter Don’t feel bad. You are human. Living with someone with a mental illness isn’t easy. Now you can go forward armed with this information. Don’t forget though people with delusions are still ill.
The demonstration with the man in the crowd shows he truly does understand where a person with this illness is coming from and what we go through
Your presentation is FANTASTIC. Wish I had you as a counselor, Doc.
I'm living this right now with my son.
I'm so sorry. I'm living it with my husband.
Same here with my wife. I feel like I just lost my best friend.
@@builttodestroy823 she's still there somewhere. With the right treatment, you can have her back. It's just hard until she realizes she has a problem.
Sending hugs and 🙏
Wow that was so good! I unfortunately told my bf he was having delusions and needed to go to the hospital. We had a plan before if he was starting to have an episode I would tell him and he would go get help. Well of course that didn’t work once he was in psychosis. I even called the mental health police but he convinced them he was fine and I was stalking him and making it up. He then got really mad and threw all my stuff in the lawn while I was at work. Then he ran away and lived in the woods for a month, which makes no sense as he had money.
Haven’t seen him in three months now. He has a new gf and they are in alcohol addiction and living in a car. He had been sober 4 years.
That’s so sad. I think a lot of people with addictions are self medicating.
@Emily R L
Girl, is there a way we connect to talk? Plz. I'm searching for answers or use anyone to talk to that has a similar experience to what I'm dealing with right now...and wow...it's almost identical....with my fiance, who just left me for a girl he met in the psych ward...and he willingly lives in a tent ⛺️....it's so painful though....and my head is spinning how fast it came about and he just threw away a 7yr committed, loyal, loving relationship, as well as his entire family and job....
Excellent talk, so sorry about your brother.
Blessings
Your brother a true hero and thank u for your work God bless
Thank you so much!!! You just describe my experience with my son! 😢
Marisol Carmona what are some of your actions that sometimes work with your son?
Mine as well😢
🥲🥲
Please let me know what I can do
Thank You
Really informative, though i think it would have been better if the term was "nosoagnosia" which in Greek would literally mean "not knowing you have a disease" rather than "anosognosia" which would translate to "knowing that you're immune"
"a-" means without.
Thank you so very much for this! It helps me to understand hat my daughter is going through and gives me hope that she will get better!!!
Its hard to listen and agree when my partner thinks he is God (and Satan) and a target of the Jews and constantly trashes my christian beliefs. But after 17 years I've never told him he was sick, even though I wish I could, I know he would never consider it. My fear of him keeps my mouth shut. His delusions are getting worse and I can only imagine how this will end.
Fanni Anni Fig are you safe?
@@Jackieception That's a very, very bad idea. A dangerous idea. Do not challenge someone who's delusional, they will only spiral more out of control.
This is a good approach to handling the situation. But also, if you understand that the visible world is sustained by the invisible, that there's indeed a world not visible to the physical eyes, then it shouldn't be difficult to know that some of what is called hallucinations are actually there, and not everyone will see it. The conscientious Doctor of the future will take this into account and be able to better help a patient going through psychosis, letting them know that they're not entirely bonkers.
As long as the patient doesnt have a problem with it and can survive in the world independently, it doesn't matter, does it? Why change them?
@@parisa5014 well, you may be right in that regard, but usually the patient feels distinctly that nothing is wrong with them when in reality they are not keeping too well.
@@dammy_yo can they/are they supporting themselves financially and such? Just curious
@@parisa5014 yes there are those living with a mental ailment who are quite capable of fending for themselves financially without any support. These form a little percentage of the mentally ill people, and most often than not they have come to grips with the fact that they have a mental health problem and hence adhere to treatment provided by the caregivers. Unfortunately, the majority need help and support (both moral and financial)to be able to function properly in a society where mental illness is already quite looked down upon.
Dr. Amador I would love to hear more about how someone in your mother's position for example, could use this technique. Where she is the "target" of the delusion especially when there is the potential for harm to self or others.
The mother should be respectful of boundaries that he wishes which could ultimately help to rebuild that trust as well as maintain safety. Maybe even discuss ways to make the person more comfortable i.e. wearing sunglasses pe what ever the mother and son can agree upon.
Exactly what I've been looking for!!!!!!
Thanks Doc!
Im so sorry for you have lost your brother now that you got him back!!! Im even more sorry for your brother who finally came out of his schizophrenia-nightmare back to life and then lost it under that f... car-assident. 😢😡
I wonder if you know how your brother finally found his way back to life. Im sure its not just the medication he took? I ask cause I am infected with the severe diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder since about 20 years and lithiophor helped me to not running in mania and kind of made me functual - more or less. But I never came back to life. To really feel alife was during my phases of mania, but these allways leed to psychosis and then I start to see conspirations everywhere, even in normal situations like elections or terorism or car-accidents and usually I get in conflict with the police who send me back to the psychiatric ward where they fix me my lithium-level and bring me back down; verry deep down to severe Depression and after some months or even years im back in my robotic numb existence without any joy of life but at least functual - on an IV-Level in an assisted living, working on an assisted workplace half a day. Thats the quality of life I can expect from taking well-beaved my medication but when I see the picture of you and your brother, I can see real feelings; thats why Im asking.
Omg it works to repeat back the delutions..warm and trust comes back. Cooperation on their medication from their part. Thanks so much it has been the most difficult to deal with anosognotia for so many many years like 50.
I love the information in the book! I plan to attend the LEAP training sessions as soon as I can.
I have a mother that is mentally ill but never diagnosed (my therapist thinks it's probably schizoaffective disorder) and if you just mention mental illness, she has a melt down...we learned long ago never to mention it even though she put everyone through a lot of distress
Currently experiencing this with my mom. +7 years with no diagnosis and she keeps blaming it on depression.
Great perspective, thanks for sharing
There's a thin line between genius and crazy, some of us like to jump rope with this line. Lol, can't remember where I read it but I'll be back to edit
OMG!!!! I needed to hear this, Thank You ❤
Description of my son, hopefully he will get some treatment. I only have hope left.
Hopefully your not doing what our mom did and that was to enable him with her coddling of him. If he lives with you you give him one choice, get help and or take your meds or you cant live here. You must suffer the consequences of your actions or you will repeat them. The worst thing you can do for your son is let him make the rules and then you tip toeing around him, if he does something your dont like then you have to make him undo it
@@pinchebruha405 yes...very important advice.
Thank you Doctor for this inspirational counseling😊!
What do I do when the delusional person I am trying to help is angry and accusing me of something I did not do?
Same. I want to know too.
Me three. The Social Services dumped her on me.
This is a very interesting TED Talk and it raises some great questions about reality. How do we know we are not delusional? Could these strategies, used to get delusional people to take needed medication, also be used to get perfectly sane people to take unnecessary medications and check themselves into a mental hospital?
Great talk. Einstein never said the "definition of insanity" quote. It is said to have originated in Narcotics Anonymous in the 80's. It is quoted in AA and NA quite often.
Anyone who's ever used Windows knows that saying's not true anyway.
This is all well and good but he is destroying lives, been incarcerated, committed only to be released from psych. ward after he used his charm saying he would accept treatment when out. Nothing has worked. He uses some drugs, goes on a three day binge of sleeping only eating and bathroom, no hygiene care. Help! He is my 32 year old grandson.
sounds like my fiance...or i guess ex now....
Yes!!!! I've taken this approach to strangers and friends it works!!
💛wow what an inspiring story....I was amazed! My uncle was like that too...
Really interesting thanks so much for sharing this. I wasn't aware of this. For many when they are medicated they will recover and gain insight into their illness - and remain well - thankfully - maybe even coming off medication over time. and accessing other therapies. Sending love to those still suffering and their loved ones.
I agree with you that denial is a symptom.
Sorry, I have to disagree with you, relationship even if excellent, will not convince a patient to seek treatment.
It's not that easy as he tries to explain, not everyone is the same, not ever reacts the same to his approach, sometimes agreeing with them and going by his approach might lead them to do stuff they aren't supposed to of a situation to get worse, I'm glad all this worked for his brother but like I said his approach doesn't work for everyone, specially if the are agnostic and don't realize they need help.
Thanks, Dr. Wehby.
This is so very helpful.
Thank you very much !
I understand the LEAP method and why it would work however I’m going through this with my brother and all he wants is money... He’s broke and if you don’t offer him money he just gets VERY ANGRY and doesn’t want to talk to you... Our family has no idea how to help without enabling he’s manic spending... Please help
was waiting for a comment like this.. yes, it's terrible
Dr. Amador, I believe an area that really has to change is the area where Parents of their children, regardless of age, can make medical decisions for them. I have a good friend whose hands are tied with their mentally ill son, and he is not receiving the help he needs because he is not recognizing his own illness. His medication was changed by his doctor and is causing real problems and on the previous medication he was doing well according to his parents, but the doctor won't listen to the parents, only to the 32 year old mentally ill son. The son never takes responsibility for his own actions and blames the parents, and they can't even get the help for him he needs because he doesn't think he is ill.
Involuntary treatment wouldn't work
Stop trying to make decisions for Schizophrenic people, just be there and accept them. I'm just 27 but I'd prefer dying over having my parents make medical/any decisions for me and certainly many with other Schizoaffective disorders think similarly. The example of Dr. Xaviers brother(and literally the subject of this talk) prefering to live on the streets over hearing his family decide what he needs help with clearly shows that, in my opinion. People like you only seem like greedy emotional puppets that want to feel better about themselves to me. You don't care about what that son wants for himself, you just want what you think is "right" for him. When is the last time these parents tried to seriously understand and care for their son? Sounds to me like they were quite busy telling him how much help he needs and how terrible his condition is for everyone.
I realize you're not the actual parent here so I apologize for my rudeness, but that just makes this seem so much more absurd - the parents are exerting so much emotional pressure to others that even a person from outside the family wants to medicate this son against his will. No wonder he believes everyone is out to get him when people actually act that way around him, jesus.
What you are describing would be a dream. My son was psychotic and delusional while being given medication and he I am not supported and have had him living with me without relief for years. I have tried to get disability for him. He has been homeless and as a result ended up in jail. He then was released to me and has been living with me ever since. His is going to be 30 this year. what would be another real support other than a doctor or mental health. I am not his gaurdian. He won't give me that right and the mental health system won't do it either.
He never says how he got his brother to accept treatment. That's what I want to hear him talk about.
Me too!
I'm curious what course it takes for people with this disorders to seek help. If they are not aware their reality is a delusion, what clicks that tells them, 'oh I have a problem and I need medication'?
Great question!!!!
I'd like to know that too... Can just having a better way to communicating with them make them "see" that they have a problem and want to fix it? I want to have hope that it can help me get through to my son. At least I understand now that it's not just stubborn denial. It's a disease. I too have bipolar disorder but am properly medicated. This approach may be really hard for my reactive/impulsive urge to lecture and want to fix him.
Wow I'm blown away!!