Forget Discipline: A Real Science-Based System to Stop Procrastinating
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ก.ค. 2024
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I’ve spent more time than I’d like to admit both trying to change my behaviour, and trying to learn how to do it (and why I can’t). Although I do admit doing things comes down to, (shocker) just getting up and doing them, there’s a lot than can be helped and changed my adjusting my mindset, approach and throughts around behaviour. While I always thought that it was negative emotions, procrastination and vague anxiety holding me back from doing what I wanted, it turns out, it wasn’t that at all. In this video I try to explain (as best I can) what psychologists think is true friction in the way of behavioural change, and how you can understand and apply the same changes to your own life. Warmest hugs, Lizzie xx
Neurosculpting: The System You Need to Stress Less and Achieve More
I Spent 10 Years Trying to Create 1 Habit: Here’s What Works
PS. Working out does really change your life, do give a Copilot a go, it’s completely free for 2 weeks, you’ll definitely learn something new!
To make your life easier:
0:00 - Intro
02:06 - Collect
06:03 - Consider
14:00 Correct
WHO AM I: I'm Elizabeth, a medical student, painter and Podcaster in London. I love to think and talk about life, art, medicine, books and meaning. And also how to find the time to do those things. If you'd like to watch me paint and talk about life, I do that on my podcast ( / @feelosophywithelizabe... ) and if you'd like to read my thoughts and book notes, I have a newsletter you can join (go.elizabethfilips.com/newsle....
👽 My Book on Organised Chaos: How to Succeed Without Habits or Consistency: lizziefilips.gumroad.com/l/krcnc
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Or leave a comment, I (try to) answer 100% of comments :)
I started exercising (haphazardly) by doing the "M&M" trick. I read an article decades ago that stated an office worker who had a bowl of M&M's on their desk was more likely eat the bowlful than if the bowl was some place where they had to get up and walk to it (even if it was a mere 7 feet away). So, I started keeping dumbbells within arm's reach of my home office desk, and I installed a pull up bar on the door frame. While I wait for a video game to load, or am watching a YT video, I'll do 10-15 reps. Whenever I step out of the room, I'll do a single pull up, and one more when I re-enter. Yeah, I'll never be a "body builder" at this rate, but I figure it's better than sitting at my desk doing absolutely nothing. And I can do 5 pullups at once now, compared to 1/10 of one on the day I first installed the bar! 😁
Nice
That’s amazing! Super ingenious 🤓
Workout convenience is super important.
Like I've almost always struggled with pull-ups due to being tall and never really having lived in a place with load-bearing door frames.
I've come crashing down twice when doing pull-ups, once due to the doorframe warping and the extending bar coming down and the other time when the nails came off the wall when using a hanging pull-up bar.
But today I got mail that the place I had a job interview at last wants to hire me and it's pretty decently paying. So now I'm gonna consider again getting some gymnastic rings mounted in my ceiling and put some money aside in case the house renting company I live under gets pissy and wants their deposit back.
Either that or mount that said hanging bar on the wall next to my computer.
I love this!!
In fact, doing small workouts over the whole day instead of a single big one is highly underrated and has a lot of benefits.
Seen a video about that and really like the idea.
We have done this when i was in the army too. (Although i did not realized it back then and hated it xD)
You get good gains from this!
I love how human your approach is. It makes me feel better about struggling, too many TH-camrs seem too perfect in terms of productivity and while that may be great for them I find it hard to relate to and follow.
Can't agree more. I can relate more to her than to productivity nerds like Ali Abdaal, Tom Frank etc
Same, same!
This is exactly why she is the only one who's videos I watch now
“Watching this while desperately trying to stop procrastinating by watching TH-cam”-button (Where my ADHDers at??)
Here’s one of us 😂
I found a very simple mental trick that always worked for me in terms of exercise. Whenever the thought of exercising entered my mind, what followed was an internal debate about whether or not I should go (do I really have time today, I have all of these other pressing things I need to do, I'm tired, etc). So, I made the decision that the moment I began debating whether to exercise, that I would stop thinking and begin walking over to get dressed to work out. Stop thinking, start changing clothes. It works for me.
I've only ever used this device for exercise, but I procrastinate in other areas of my life. I've never considered adopting a similar solution for other things I delay doing, because I just thought of it as my exercise activator. Something about this video sparked me to think broader about it though, so thank you!
excellent idea!
You are teaching the CBT that I can't afford yet in my life. Thank you Elizabeth!
You went back to using your photos for thumbnails instead of AI generated pics 🧡
She is Gorgeous.
Reminds me of my Ellie.❤.
These are better😊
Yes! I clicked on the video right away because I wanted Elizabeth to know this 🤣 we want to see our favorite girl TH-camr on the thumbnail 🩵🩵🫶🫶
Yessss, I was so happy when I saw the thumbnail!! Using AI to complement the images is great but when it comes to actual people nothing beats real photos
It was better before ig
In stoicism Marcus Aurelius suggests taking a task and breaking it down. First do the first half and then do the second half. If you have to wash a sink full of dirty dishes first wash the knife, then the fork, then the plate and so on don't look at the entire job just at the peice of the job at a time. Also in stoicism Epictitus suggests, "Fortify yourself with contentment for this is an impregnable Fortress." Therefore get rid of all your doubts and thoughts and fortify yourself with contentment then move forward.
That is not that easy. This automated thinking comes in seconds and breaking it means a lot of prework. 😅
@@teresarockdriguez623thats why I don‘t love these rationalist philosophical, sometimes even psychological approaches. Our thoughts run on our emotions and those reside within the body. If you can easily change your thoughts, you didn‘t have intense negative emotions to begin with or you surpress them in unhealthy ways. I tried cbt and eastern philosophy for a decade before I finally started to deal with my nervous system and unrationalized emotions.
The trickiest part in following this suggestion of yours is being able to monitor the thoughts, we are so engulfed with the automatic thought that we tend to not monitor it. Could be a good exercise though 😀
Cbt book feeling good has a form for monitoring automatic thoughts
^^ Many therapist channels provide strategies for this
Whatever breath or zephyr danced around your ankles and caused you the desire to do these vids, I put a candle in the window for, welcoming you and your insights. I've tried so many things, and I'm not saying that yours have changed my life around, but your ideas resonante and define, and have made a change -- which I've waited for many solar courses to feel. Thanks.
Unique and beautiful prose♥️🌴
Pretty way of talking ❤
I love your prose! So poetic
One of the things that helps me out with automatic thoughts is, after noticing they're there and what they are, repeating them to myself out of context, often out loud. That also tends to break the usual chain reaction. Being like "oh man, I have to go to the gym" when it's like, Sunday and I know the gym is closed on Sundays allows me to analyze the thought more easily, as I don't believe it at that point in time.
That might not work for everybody, as they might just recontextualize into the next time they have to do the thing, but it helps me a bit.
Just found your channel a few days ago and I wanted to say thanks for making these videos! It's been really good for my mental health to understand how to really think about my ADHD and how to cope with it. I'm excited to put in to practice your life hacks!
good to hear that
You should follow ADHD coaching channels since they're directly relevant to neurodivergence
I've got the AuDHD and I used the book "Atomic Habits" to develop a practice habit for playing music. But honestly? It's haphazard and all over the place. I don't "practice violin at 12:00 every day." I just pick it up at least once a day and now feel weird when I don't.
I think this is the trick, Robin. It’s developing the identity shift to mirror your new habit (eg I am a violin player who practises every day) and then using your thoughts to make it uncomfortable NOT to perform the habit (eg “ I am a violin player who practises every day, so why am I not practising my violin right now? I’m just sitting here procrastinating etc”
I am literally in love with the fact that how helpful the contents you make are with topics that are very much needed to be talked about more, and I'm so thankful for all the effort you put to make them easier to understand and put them very neatly for us to comprehend. Wish you all the besttts.
Liz, genuinely, this video is PACKED with value.
Thank you💜
It's funny to me how ubiquitous insecurities are, especially about arbitrary things, and especially when we have every right to feel confident and self-assured about it. Especially coming from someone like you. I guess we all have our stuff.
Thanks for the great content and tips.
The miracle question and hypocrisy rule is a game changer 🙌🏽 this video made me realise that I've used the miracle question for exercise for years, but why haven't I done it with reading scientific papers? Time to make some progress 🕺
What you said about being insecure but being able to handle it in other areas anyway was super helpful for me. Thank you! ❤
Omgggg you uploaded! Your videos are so insightful for me, and so fun to watch :)
I am so glad I found you as teenager, so I won't have to struggle with habits and discipline for the rest of eternity. Love You SM
Loved the Miracle Question on the email, this breakdown was strategically helpful! Always love your videos.
The Miracle Question!
I just read about it recently in your newsletter and I'm so glad you addressed it in the video.
Insightful, as always.
PS - You have such a calming voice I could listen to you for hours, at 2x ofcourse haha.
incredible, incredible insights. one of my favorite things to tell a friend repeating their negative thoughts is "YOUR ANXIETY IS LYING TO YOU" (actually there's a shirt with this phrase on it, so I just say "don't make me pull out the shirt" and send the photo of the shirt lol). I feel like everything in this very beautiful detailed video is essentially a bunch of tools to expose that lie (specifically as it relates to self-defeating anxiety about our habits), and respond to it by making both your mind and body understand that the MOUNTAIN of barriers that your automatic thoughts create.... simply isn't real. What it's saying isn't true. And not because we're burying our head in the sand, but exactly the opposite -- because the fears simply doesn't hold up to sober, logical scrutiny.
Plus, I cried watching this video at a few unexpected points, one of which being the "Miracle Question" - it seems so simple, but it felt incredibly powerful to me to realize even as I watched you describe your own "miracle", that just by using our imaginations we can essentially... give ourselves a glimpse of that miracle as if it had actually happened. By describing that person, there's almost a sense of getting "in character" to understand what it would feel like to be that person, like a concentrated, instant gratification version of "fake it til you make it" - "fake it and instantly feel like you've made it" lol.
As someone w/ adhd, it's hard for me to overstate how much hope that gives me that the constant feeling of dread might actually resolve one day. Without a thought exercise like that, achieving goals sometimes feels like being asked to imagine a color we've never seen, or imagine the taste of a food we've never had. It feels, quite literally, impossible-- giving you a nagging, hopeless feeling that your dreams are impossible, too.
That exercise also has the added benefit of emotionally reframing the situation from "I'm running from my fears [being sedentary forever, never achieving goals of being strong, shortening my life span from lack of fitness...]" to "I'm chasing my dreams [of feeling the way that this miracle version of me feels, because I've already had a taste and realize it's possible]", which is dope lol
I relate so much to the way you think, approach, and explain things and DEEPLY respect all of the hard work you put into sharing it here. thank you Elizabeth!!! WELL DONE !!!!! 🩵
Its so real when you said that people who just did sth, don’t have these phases thoughts! I pretend to be one of that people!! Thank you so much Elizabeth ❤❤❤
Can't wait for 1 Million Elizabeth💕
Loved the video. I was wondering how someone who also feels insecure can have a TH-cam channel and then I realized that that's the whole point; to work out of one's insecurities. I feel the same way and have been working myself out of it. Anyway, I will have to listen to the video again because I got carried away.
hi, nice to meet you
One of the best videos ever created! It resonates a lot! Thanks!
I love you videos so much. the concepts and ideas you talk about are so underrated and unknown. I'm really happy to have come across your videos
Thank you so much for sharing so many of you're insecurities. It really helps put into perspective that I'm not the ony worst possible outcomes type thinker. And you're examples where very clear!
Love the way you talk and how you deliver the message.♥
Most always plan for the worst and hope for the best. ... everything else is a pleasant surprise. Thanks for sharing your insights Eliz.
I love your voice we could never get sick of it although people can get bored I don't think anyone could get sick of such a sweet voice 💖.
Using weights is for gym fans, try getting a selection of Thera-bands, a range of workouts for use at home, easy ones difficult ones, any time you want, you’ll be moving every muscle, between daily schedules. Go on it’s a treat, it’s like bathing, should I say swimming, fantastic and peaceful, like resting afloat.
This is a fantastic watch. Thanks Elizabeth :)
I am so glad I found this channel
Thank you soooo much, you answered exactly what I am fighting since some months now. I am sure that this viedo will help because it already changes my mind state ❤
This is was the best and most entertaining video you’ve ever done. Particularly the segment with your thought spiral for why you shouldn’t visit the gym.
The one thing I admire you for the most is all the work you have done to understand and manage yourself! You're so inspiring! Lil question: Is your voice a little changed, or is it me?
Love it! You've given me handles for tools hovering on my understanding. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing. This really helps me. Love it.
One thing that I know for sure: people love watching those kinds of videos, but never change anything about their lives 😅
Love love love this video!
Thank you so much for all your videos! They've helped me sooo much in my life! ❤️
This was massively informative. Thanks for putting it together.
This video is very on point, very informative, successful ☺️
The only thing that surpasses your beauty it's your competence and your way to explain the given topic
Not tired of your voice at all!
thank you! Great video!!
I love your channel and the content you provide.
Another great video!
Thank you so much for the video. Keep going. You are doing really good work.❤
Great Video!
efficient as always!
All the things you're say are crazyy useful. I actually have a sheet by my therapist, where there are all these questions you're talking about. And they work every single time. It is for questioning the irrational thoughts that I have after something
Yes. Influencers are regurgitating things they've learned from therapists.
@@Heyu7her3 in her case yes, nad she says it in her videos
Top job with these videos, Liz, really enjoying them. Keep em coming. I'd been interested in how CBT works for a while and this was a great overview. Interesting comment section too.
Thank you so much!! your videos are so lovely
So proud of you ❤❤
Don't Beat yourself Up. I love your voice and accent.
Woohoo! 🎉🎉🎉 a new video !
My queen forever❤❤❤
amazing concepts, thank you :)
OMG I love you so much - find your final words hilarious, enjoyed that video a lot, even though I cannot apply the content of this video not one-to-one to my own live (working out at home reduces the anxiety factor I guess) but it gave me quite some impulses. However, I need a way to challenge my points more structured otherwise I will keep loosing the grip again and again. Some buddy would be helpful. Keep doing your awesome content - it's good to have someone who faces similar behavior patterns as I do.
So enjoy to watch your video and couldn't argree more about the contents in video. I always spend time on getting new habits since I believe that will leads me to see and live in a more diverse life.
Thank you for this 🙏
Remain blessed dear ❤❤❤
Imagine a question generator made to either convince yourself to do a responsibilty/healthy habit or convince you not to do a bad habit
We have very similar personalities (I think, at least), but I have a slightly different method. I usually prepare my arguments (for why I should do what I set out to do) in advance. Most of them are specific to the activity (why should I go running? It increases heart health, vo2 max, leg endurance, it'll make me feel better, etc...)
One key argument which is universal to all activities is thus: "If I told someone else that these are my reasons to not do what I set out to do, would he think I'm being reasonable, or would he think I'm being a wuss?"
When you're in your own mind, with your foolish emotions, "I'm a bit tired" can sound like a good reason not to go to the gym, but when you look at it through someone else's eyes, it's obviously a bad reason.
Thank you! You too.
Nice English very clear.
Have a great weekend. 👍
its been a while
Elizabeth congratulations on your success
I really liked this video Elizabeth. well thoughts!
The Quatation she "Don't believe everything you think" is really impactful on such a deep level.
You are the best ❤ your content is uniquely helpful :-)
Omg we have the same thing work-exercise thoughts, this is so helpful
So my personal trainer - Nate - appeared on the screen at 21:02. That's cool!
Thank you so much
Thanks so much!
Wow. You are wonderful. What a great mind you have. I love your voice
Please pleeease do a video about getting good at math pleaaaaaaaaase like my comment so she can see it
Thanks for sharing .congratulations 🎉
I love your vids :) ❤
Love from Chennai India ❤
Great Lizzy, finally HABIT.
I am god damn sure that I can watch you for million times. You are my community.💜🌅🏵🌝🍀🌻🌲❤
much luv respect/appreciation to u
Thanks!
Oh my, thank you so much for the superlike!!!
I’m focusing on the wrong thing! ❤
Read Untethered Soul. Thank you. Love your constant curiosity and research.
Selective obstruction. Finally I have a term for the thing I am constantly doing all the time LMAO ☠ Bless this video
So there are the three exercises:
1.) Visualize as if you dreamt about gaining a magical power that would solve the problem which makes you avoid what you are avoiding. How're you feeling? how're you doing ?
2.) Hypocrisy Rule: Think when you felt like this last time, and yet overcame the problem.
3.) Rate yourself before and after performing the activity. See the mismatch
I’m very different - i love training, but i still procrastinate and often tired.
I like this framework. If I implemented this, if not for anything else I'd go to the gym right at the time I scheduled just avoid having to do that whole introspection lol.
I think I'm falling for you ❤
I really liked this video Elizabeth. Would you consider doing one on insecurity and other ways you've had to confront it?
i like her too
I missed you❤
You are awesome
glad to hear your a gym bro now. lol. i get embarrassed to try moves especially in the beginning.
I love this. I used to have the same problem with exercise. But I solved it differently though.
Have you ever tried climbing? It is more fun than exercise. And I actively have to stop myself from climbing with this process😂
Thanks,
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Smart cookie, you are ❤️👍
W😮w I think I'm in love.😍 Interesting I wonder if I can apply something like this to my drinking habits.
Hahaha! I didn't blink and went to click as fast as I could ❤❤❤❤😊
Really interesting. Would you mind sharing the tiles of some of the papers/books you used for your research? I’d be interested in reading up on this as well