Sweetheart, please please stay here. You did nothing wrong. You did the best you knew how to and that is all we can ever do. And you don't even know - you could very well be right and the mother may come back now because of you. You may well have saved the baby's life. But even if you made a mistake, you tried. You tried to help. Animals are very sensitive and I think the baby would have felt your kindness and gentleness and been comforted. It was obviously distressed. You were so kind to try and help and do your best at the time. You are a good kind gentle soul and as you said so rightly, you can't undo things like suicide. pLease please wait. At least wait a few more days and see how you feel. Please give yourself more time. Please tell someone there how you feel. Tell them what you're thinking. I really do relate to the feelings you described and i know how impossible it is to believe in anything right now. But you truly never know what can happen - tomorrow, next week, next month - that could change things in ways you can't imagine are possible right now. I know you feel YOU can't change, but things outside of you, people outside of you, can change you too. Because some circumstances force us to change in ways we can't do alone. Some circumstances change things and make it POSSIBLE for us to change and heal. Nothing in this world ever stays the same forever. No person stays the same forever. i know that, right now, every second is unbearable to get through, but i also know that you have so much more strength and courage than you even realise. Please please hold on. Nothing is as it seems to you right now. You are not hopeless even though you feel like that. Hope simply means the possibility of change, and change is not only always possible, it is unavoidable. It takes longer than we feel we can bear at times, but you can get through this and it will be worth it. I know that you want to feel better or you wouldn't care so much and feel so sad, so don't throw away your only chance to feel better. Dying is not the answer. And it may go wrong and leave you permanently with terrible injuries or illness. Suicide attempts often end up that way. You deserve better than that. And you can HAVE better than that. You have struggled so hard for so long and i totally get why you have had enough, but don't let all that pain and struggle and effort go to waste. Stay here and wait. What you feel and believe is often inaccurate. The fact is that some things don't change visibly for a long time while we work at them. Like when you plant seeds in the garden you have to dig all the earth, put fertilizer, plant the seeds, water them, remove the weeds, and all through the summer and autumn, nothing happens. Then winter comes and everything is bare and you could look at the garden and think what a waste of time and effort, nothing is happening. It was stupid. I am useless. Nothing will ever change. But one day in the spring a little green shoot appears. Well, you could say, that's not what i wanted. That's pathetic. I suck. I should just pull it up. It's too small and it has no flowers and it looks ridiculous and i wasted my time. But if you go on watering it and nurturing it, even when the ground is bare and the shoots are weak and small, eventually the beautiful flowers will come. But right up until they do, all of the work seems to be for nothing. Nothing seems to be happening at all. The effort seems to be going nowhere. Because all of the important changes are happening under the soil out of sight. And people are like that too. You are going through a long winter and everything looks bleak. But i promise you it is not. You are such a worthwhile person. Stay and be here for the summer. It may be a longer time coming than you wish, but it will come, my friend. I hope you stay. You matter a lot in this world. There will never be another you. xoxoxoxox
omg, i am so touched by your LONG comment. no complaint, but thank you so much for everything you typed here. I know it's from your heart. I wish so bad I know what happen to that baby because I can't erase the guilt in me for not doing more. My counsellor in sch knows how bad I am struggling. We are talking over things. Today she tried to bring me to hospital but I ran away in school. I don't know. I don't want to get help. She had this secret plan because I told her everything, too much too dangerous that she felt the need to act. I don't know how things will go. At least not for next week. thank you for your love here xoxo stay strong sweeties
Deary, I know u say u don't hav to deal with all the struggle if you're away from here, but you'd also wouldn't be able to enjoy the small good things. Don't feel bad u couldn't help the baby animal more, you probably saved it and helped it more than if u had just left it. If you're away from here u won't be able to do kind things like that and possibly save a life
i never know if I saved it. I am filled with guilt for not doing more. TBH, some lives can't be saved no matter how hard the person and others try. It hurts to know I couldn't help. Also, i don't know what is happiness because I hardly ever feel it. Small good things is blinded from my eyes. My days are dreadful and i don't have brief moment of feeling good or happy. my counsellor knows i am struggling and we are talking. I'll see. stay strong xoxo
please don't do it don't consider it your amazing never forget it please dont think that stuff your beautiful. if you ever need anyone to listen there are people who will listen everyone who watches you love you a lot stay strong and rise above it. xoxo
I haven't done it, though it's in my mind every now and then. I am kind of off so I haven't update on this channel. stay tune. I guess I should do another video soon xoxo
I think you should look at it like this; If you weren't alive, you wouldn't have been able to find the baby animal and put it somewhere safe. The fact that you're alive means that you're here to help and care for others x
i can help the baby by putting it somewhere safer physically. but men are complicated creatures. Taking care of a paralysed person isn't easy, let alone a walking, talking and thinking person. So many people I want to help. I want to change this world because I see all the horrible things happening. but I am getting nowhere right now
hugs xoxo. I don't think you are referring to the animal story but may be the guilt. We never talked detailedly into your issues. I hope the days get better for you
you have friends. u have us. Ik its not the same as having us physically but im always here for u in spirit. as well as the rest of ur supporters and God. all u gotta do is call and well be there
I started following you on here because I admire your honesty. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for, I know it is a part of ED behaviour for you to think that. You CAN keep on fighting and you DO deserve love & life. Take care sweetheart.
thank you for your words. I do try to be as truthful as I can. Being fake person doesn't lead me anywhere, online or offline. Sometimes I do come across as direct and argumentative for saying what I really think. but at the end of the day, I think all of you guys would want to know a truthful person with real story to relate than a bunch of lies created to make a pretty picture. xoxo thanks and luvya
Thank you for replying, and let me say: I am very relieved & glad to see your reply: I was worried about you after watching this video. I agree with you about honesty: some people may mistake it for harshness or aggression if they disagree with what is being discussed. I am also brutally honest, and yes, it can (wrongly) offend some poeple... But being truthful is the best way to be, regardless how others perceive you. Keep being yourself, no matter what! Stay strong & take care sweetie
Sweetheart, please please stay here. You did nothing wrong. You did the best you knew how to and that is all we can ever do. And you don't even know - you could very well be right and the mother may come back now because of you. You may well have saved the baby's life. But even if you made a mistake, you tried. You tried to help. Animals are very sensitive and I think the baby would have felt your kindness and gentleness and been comforted. It was obviously distressed. You were so kind to try and help and do your best at the time. You are a good kind gentle soul and as you said so rightly, you can't undo things like suicide. pLease please wait. At least wait a few more days and see how you feel. Please give yourself more time. Please tell someone there how you feel. Tell them what you're thinking. I really do relate to the feelings you described and i know how impossible it is to believe in anything right now. But you truly never know what can happen - tomorrow, next week, next month - that could change things in ways you can't imagine are possible right now. I know you feel YOU can't change, but things outside of you, people outside of you, can change you too. Because some circumstances force us to change in ways we can't do alone. Some circumstances change things and make it POSSIBLE for us to change and heal. Nothing in this world ever stays the same forever. No person stays the same forever. i know that, right now, every second is unbearable to get through, but i also know that you have so much more strength and courage than you even realise. Please please hold on. Nothing is as it seems to you right now. You are not hopeless even though you feel like that. Hope simply means the possibility of change, and change is not only always possible, it is unavoidable. It takes longer than we feel we can bear at times, but you can get through this and it will be worth it. I know that you want to feel better or you wouldn't care so much and feel so sad, so don't throw away your only chance to feel better. Dying is not the answer. And it may go wrong and leave you permanently with terrible injuries or illness. Suicide attempts often end up that way. You deserve better than that. And you can HAVE better than that. You have struggled so hard for so long and i totally get why you have had enough, but don't let all that pain and struggle and effort go to waste. Stay here and wait. What you feel and believe is often inaccurate. The fact is that some things don't change visibly for a long time while we work at them. Like when you plant seeds in the garden you have to dig all the earth, put fertilizer, plant the seeds, water them, remove the weeds, and all through the summer and autumn, nothing happens. Then winter comes and everything is bare and you could look at the garden and think what a waste of time and effort, nothing is happening. It was stupid. I am useless. Nothing will ever change. But one day in the spring a little green shoot appears. Well, you could say, that's not what i wanted. That's pathetic. I suck. I should just pull it up. It's too small and it has no flowers and it looks ridiculous and i wasted my time. But if you go on watering it and nurturing it, even when the ground is bare and the shoots are weak and small, eventually the beautiful flowers will come. But right up until they do, all of the work seems to be for nothing. Nothing seems to be happening at all. The effort seems to be going nowhere. Because all of the important changes are happening under the soil out of sight. And people are like that too. You are going through a long winter and everything looks bleak. But i promise you it is not. You are such a worthwhile person. Stay and be here for the summer. It may be a longer time coming than you wish, but it will come, my friend. I hope you stay. You matter a lot in this world. There will never be another you. xoxoxoxox
this
omg, i am so touched by your LONG comment. no complaint, but thank you so much for everything you typed here. I know it's from your heart. I wish so bad I know what happen to that baby because I can't erase the guilt in me for not doing more. My counsellor in sch knows how bad I am struggling. We are talking over things. Today she tried to bring me to hospital but I ran away in school. I don't know. I don't want to get help. She had this secret plan because I told her everything, too much too dangerous that she felt the need to act. I don't know how things will go. At least not for next week. thank you for your love here xoxo stay strong sweeties
I can really see and feel your pain.
it resembles the past “me” and remind me lots of torture happening in the past
Deary, I know u say u don't hav to deal with all the struggle if you're away from here, but you'd also wouldn't be able to enjoy the small good things. Don't feel bad u couldn't help the baby animal more, you probably saved it and helped it more than if u had just left it. If you're away from here u won't be able to do kind things like that and possibly save a life
i never know if I saved it. I am filled with guilt for not doing more. TBH, some lives can't be saved no matter how hard the person and others try. It hurts to know I couldn't help. Also, i don't know what is happiness because I hardly ever feel it. Small good things is blinded from my eyes. My days are dreadful and i don't have brief moment of feeling good or happy. my counsellor knows i am struggling and we are talking. I'll see. stay strong xoxo
Don’t do it you are truly loved by your family and online family. Take care of yourself
please don't do it don't consider it your amazing never forget it please dont think that stuff your beautiful. if you ever need anyone to listen there are people who will listen everyone who watches you love you a lot stay strong and rise above it. xoxo
I haven't done it, though it's in my mind every now and then. I am kind of off so I haven't update on this channel. stay tune. I guess I should do another video soon xoxo
I think you should look at it like this; If you weren't alive, you wouldn't have been able to find the baby animal and put it somewhere safe. The fact that you're alive means that you're here to help and care for others x
i can help the baby by putting it somewhere safer physically. but men are complicated creatures. Taking care of a paralysed person isn't easy, let alone a walking, talking and thinking person. So many people I want to help. I want to change this world because I see all the horrible things happening. but I am getting nowhere right now
wanna to cry with you😭
what you said in this video is exactly all what I encountered in these years(almost 7 years same as you)
hugs xoxo. I don't think you are referring to the animal story but may be the guilt. We never talked detailedly into your issues. I hope the days get better for you
you have friends. u have us. Ik its not the same as having us physically but im always here for u in spirit. as well as the rest of ur supporters and God. all u gotta do is call and well be there
thanks for your sweet offer xoxo i hope you're well. take care :)
I started following you on here because I admire your honesty. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for, I know it is a part of ED behaviour for you to think that. You CAN keep on fighting and you DO deserve love & life. Take care sweetheart.
thank you for your words. I do try to be as truthful as I can. Being fake person doesn't lead me anywhere, online or offline. Sometimes I do come across as direct and argumentative for saying what I really think. but at the end of the day, I think all of you guys would want to know a truthful person with real story to relate than a bunch of lies created to make a pretty picture. xoxo thanks and luvya
Thank you for replying, and let me say: I am very relieved & glad to see your reply: I was worried about you after watching this video. I agree with you about honesty: some people may mistake it for harshness or aggression if they disagree with what is being discussed. I am also brutally honest, and yes, it can (wrongly) offend some poeple... But being truthful is the best way to be, regardless how others perceive you. Keep being yourself, no matter what! Stay strong & take care sweetie
I will upload a video soon to update you guys what happened. i am still struggling with suicidal thoughts and stuff. you have to stay strong too.
Please don't feel bad about the animal. You probably saved its life, and you cared about it so much. You did the right thing
i so so wish I know what happened to it. I can't erase the guilt I feel from not doing more.
You haven’t uploaded in a while I really hope you’re ok :(
long time no catch up with you dear😞
and this is depressing to see you look so tough again
yes, it's been a while. Life just sucks right now, with everything. at least you are in a better place :)
dear my phone broke.. can't message you through ig or snapchat, please inbox me if you need to talk..
we're all here for you..
i am sorry your phone broke. phone is like the must in today's society. Thanks for your offer. luvya take care xoxo