This is the thing I want everyone to tell. Girls nowadays think talking trash about boys, having a bad bitch personality who cruse more than saying words is women empowerment. That is not Women Empowerment.
What makes me feel worse is that the Ahjumma stereotype is obviously targeted towards poorer middle-aged women to show them as vulgar and low class. They will never showcase a normal Ahjumma. Somewhere in the series she will always have to hit, slap or threaten someone with violence.
They can be harsh, but not sexually harass everyone unless they are family, like their children and brothers. Because I seen it, not in Korea, but in India…
so before covid i used to travel through public transportation alot. And (some) women would shamelessly try to touch/grope places i SERRIOUSLY don't want to be touched. Its not just ahjumma's idk why theyre degrading them just because their old and dont fit the societal beauty standard.
@@II-pe2pv Frankly some of them aren't even old, some Ahjummas that are casted look around 35-40 years old. Just very very strong classist screenwriting
Strong Woman Do Bong Soon is a great show about female empowerment but not when it comes to the heroine's mother and father. The female lead's mom is constantly abusing her husband and it's always seen as a big joke.
yeah With that enormous physical strength, you'd think she could be a hero to save the world or something, but she becomes an abuser for domestic violence
don't get me started on the queerbaiting anf homophobia, *he is healthy man who likes women*, * i don't see you as a man that's why i can sleep at your house* and straight jisoo flirting with min like noooo that was awful, and that mean gay employee...
Wow, you actually made the man version. It always bothering me when sexual harrasement to male characters potrayed as a funny thing. Worse is that lately that seems used to potray empowerment women. Like you are a strong woman if you could abused or harassed a man.
i dislike using the enemies-to-lovers trope as an excuse for abusive actions - as seen in true beauty - just because two characters dislike each other doesn't mean they have to be physically and/or verbally abusive towards each other. also, even if there's problematic characters they rarely ever have a well thought out redemption arc and the viewer is just supposed to accept the character and forget their actions.
i once actually read a book with the enemies to lovers trope but the best thing about it was that there was no physical or mental abuse in it at all. They simply disliked each other but was mature around everyone else and it was so refreshing to see tbh
Exactly it was wrong on so many levels imagine if the gender was switched a random man barged into the women's changing room and tried groping someone it'll be a whole new story but since the victim is male everyone is acting like it was nothing
@@janellakaye it literally is though. I agree that not every kdrama or tv series or whatever should be educational but as a woman, if some random man came into the place where i was changing and i was topless and he started groping and touching my chest i guarantee you i would not find it funny. The same should judgement should be held for ko mun young who barged into his dressing room and started touching him. something like that should never be portrayed as humorous
@@janellakaye Yeah, we take it 'seriously ', Despite the male leads constant rejection, refusal and anger shown towards the female leads such actions.. HaHaha so humourous!
Only switching the genders in these tropes is such a common way a lot of older writers "subvert" them and it's so lazy! I know these writers are usually on a deadline but it's a shame so many of them dont seem to want to make something of value
@@yuanProduction it bothers me so much. Like you can make a strong female lead and even give her anger issues or whatever but you don’t have to make them abusive. It’s so easy to make a strong female lead without making her abusive :/
@@yuanProduction They can make an innocent girl character that has a strong mentality, and expressing her discomfort when the male lead being overprotective. And they can make a male lead not abusive, but instead kind and when it comes to something serious, he can be serious. There is a lot of ideas I can list that i want K-drama's to have.
People just brush over Oh Soo-ah's character in Itaewon class because she wasn't badass or kicking and sassying people around. She's a great example of a strong female character, she has a goal, gets revenge, starts her own business
Honestly I don't really get Park Sae‑ro‑yi's devoted love to Oh soo-ah even though it was written that way in the show. Of course this show is mainly about Park's revenge so romantic love is secondary. But Park is seen as someone who deeply loves Oh soo-ah and waiting for her love. He also states that Oh is the one can define this relationship however she wants to. But throughout this show, I've never seen Park did anything to make this romantic relationship possible. It seems like Oh is the one being indecisive but how can Oh define this relationship as romantic when Park spent most of the years working on some ships abroad for his revenge? The fact that Park is seeking for revenge is an obstacle for their romantic relationship and both of them know that. It's not that Oh soo-ah is playing hard to get or playing with Park's feelings. People might disagree with this: but frankly I don't think I've ever felt that Park deeply loves any of the female characters in the show.
Talking about female sexual offenders I remember a once told story of a man. In this party, many people got drunk and girl forced herself on a guy. Guy was much stronger than her, and people said afterwards: "Why didn't you just throw her off yourself if you didn't want to sleep with her?". Man answered that he understood that he did actually had an opportunity to physically get rid of her. However she was so persistent that the amount of force needed to get rid of her would probably throw her off to the floor and even give her bruises. He knew that it would be viewed as if he (big strong man) just beaten up her (woman with much less physical power). And he might even face charges in that case. So he let her do what she wanted so he won't have troubles with the law enforcement or be judged by his peers. And this story gets me every time... Man also can be put in a horrible situations when both choices are bad, and there's no nice way out.
I saw a women sexually harass my husband at a party, she knew we came as couple, she was smaller than him, backed him up into a wall. He just froze, because it's embarrassing, he would have had to shove her out of the way. I fished him out, but he still remembers it thirty years later. My beef trope is the women who is going to make someone love/marry her, and in the process is always depicted as a manipulating spoilt bitch, and their actions explained because they love/want that person so much. In my experience women are just not like that, where did this come from?
Forreal, I watched one of Adam Sandler's movies recently and he had had sex with his fully grown maid when he was 15 years old, the movie treats it as a funny thing and was showing that he was a player from an early age or something but in reality that was statutory rape, plain and simple. He still had contact with her when he grew up and everything
When will people finally realize a shy or meek woman can be strong too? As a writer, I almost always prefer bold women as my protagonists but that doesn't mean that I'll make shy women the weaker kind. All women have different lives and experiences thus influencing their personality but that doesn't give them the right to harass men or judge other women.
yes I don't like how quieter more gentle women are portrayed as weaker. Being loud, outgoing, and bold aren't the only examples of being strong. Being strong can mean speaking up for others. standing up for what's right. setting boundaries, being hardworking, going through trauma and living with it. Strength doesn't only have to be physical, it can be emotional and mental strength too.
Yes, precisely, it shows that you don't need to be abusive to be strong and that dedication and affection are not incompatible with being a strong woman
I liked that one too. She didn't go directly into my husband can do no wrong mode. She wanted to investigate and learn the truth before making a judgment.
Also, Ji Ah from 9 Tailed and Han Ae Ri from Kairos, the female leads of Awaken too. Honestly Han Ae Ri from Kairos is so realistic, she doesn't go around kicking people and is not rude, she is extremely kind but also is extremely wise to solve the whole time warp analogy and also is very brave, never backs off from a situation. She cries, she fights, she plans, she executes, she takes action, she is independent, that's what's really strong. Then recently we had Lee Dam from My roomate is a Gumiho, Taxi Driver, Mouse, Beyond Evil. There are many examples and most of them are from unnderrated shows
My brother is victim of one of harassment... He is a introvert guy who don't really like to speak up address to issue rather he would suffer in silent... So when he was in school teachers used to assign seats of who would sit where. And there was this girl who had a huge crush on my brother and she was open about it but she never really said anything to my brother. He knew but he had to keep quiet and he just hoped that she would ask him out so he could directly reject her. So basically everyone knew about her crush even teachers, and while seating arrangement class teacher /homeroom teacher purposefully arranged them to be bench partners... And he was really uncomfortable for a whole year and said that it was the worst year of highschool for him... That teacher only saw from that girl's perspective and thought it was a good idea to let someone sit with other person who he feel completely uncomfortable with... And then I saw this reddit post on how this one teacher was proud of herself that she arranged two students to sit together who she 'knew' had crush on each other,,I was so mad at that user... He opened up to me about this just few months ago. he passed highschool 7 years ago and he kept it a secret for 7 years... That girl was basically harassing him, stalking him ect. It had turned into weird obsession but thank god it was last year of highschool.... Thank you for talking about these issues... Me being a girl I was taught by my mom to be always vocal about it like if you don't like someone touch you then say no loud and clear and my mom taught me about these things since I was little but she did not taught my brother of how he could also be victim one day. Like she taught him to stand up for a 'girl' if he ever saw someone harassing her but she didn't thought of he could also be harassed....
@@juanchoresultay2704yanderes don’t do that, we have manners and mostly internalize everything because doing something like that would make the “senpais” uncomfortable and that would make us extremely extremely sad and upset. Real life yanderes aren’t like how it’s portrayed by media or some crime cases. A lot of us suffer a form of mental illness which brings upon O.L.D. (Obsessive love disorder) which is more of a symptom than a stand alone disorder. Usually it’s in people with bipolar, borderline personality, and sometimes unknown/undiagnosed. But we wouldn’t do anything to actually cause harm or pain to the person of our affection.
I don't understand why some people always try to find reasons to excuse abusive sides of women. Women can be toxic and abusive too in a relationship. Why is it hard for people to accept that? You call a person out for their toxic behavior regardless of what gender they are.
i completely agree. female empowerment does NOT involve harassment of ANYONE, nor laughing it off like its fine. no one deserves SA no matter what gender it is. "not all men" but "not all women" if a woman says she was SA she shouldn't be told that she liked it or "not all men", if a man got SA he shouldn't be told he liked it, and "not all women" don't ever let abuse of any sort- slide from any gender. it is unfair and our society has a long way to go.
With Jo Yiseo in Itaewon Class, I think it was more than just that scene. She harassed and indoctrinated the male lead for years into liking her. He persistently told her that he did not appreciate her inappropriate behaviour, but she still continued. Of course it's okay, because they got together in the end.🙃
I liked the concept of It's okay to not be okay but some of Ko Mun yeong's traits were problematic.She is strong but it was clear that she made the male lead uncomfortable.
That was supposed to be the point of her character. She's a bad person. But people missed the fact that none of the characters in that show were supposed to be 100 percent good people. They're all broken in their own ways. They are just starting to heal at the end of the show and fix their personal issues. But especially at the beginning she's a bad person.
They both lived extremely traumatic experiences. Those kind of experiences result in PTSD and CPTSD condition. Those are really tough to deal with. She’s not bad just socially non conforming, on purpose. She’s neglecting to acknowledge what she feels because that would be too traumatic for her but instead speaks her mind and acts out whatever passes through her head which actually is very therapeutical for her and those around. The reasons are always ethical the ways are not normal for a girl. She’s fearless and doesn’t respect normal social borders but by acting so she manages to free him from the guilt and shame he inflicted on himself when he failed to act instantly when his brother almost drowned in childhood. He didn’t even think he was in shock. A genuine empathetic soul. In consequence he helped her with the main trauma that kept her “safe” from authentic love (as she witnessed as a child what love can bring about). That, to my surprise (never though a drama could cover such topics) was a great production. Loved everything the acting the production style and script.
@@gracefire9067 She doesn’t trust love. Victims of such trauma as hers carry guilt also.(“it was my fault” - similar to the guy slightly different). Psychopathy (her mom) totally transforms the ones around. She was in fact considered the golden child meant to fulfill her mother’s dreams only. Not considered as a person much less as a child having natural needs of care love and understanding. There are some depths that are disturbing hard to understand and God forbid to live such things. To make it short (in my opinion ofc) she avoids emotional intimacy. Instead she’s overdeveloped her logics her intellect. The manner she expresses what she lived, those books and the concepts, are somewhat dark but deep truths. Logical, blunt one, but not emotional. Along with that she learns to take care of herself by herself as no one else did. Hence she’s fearless and determined cold almost. Not very feminine. She pushes for truth her only certain cure for every situation. (Remember the scene with the guy threatening to kill his babygirl)…..The sexual upfront appraisal towards the guy is also a coping mechanism. These individuals usually develop some type of addiction (alcohol, drugs, sex, work etc). Let’s remember she doesn’t allow herself to feel. I bet she doesn’t even know what she feels if you ask her. It’s called emotional numbness. She maintains ethics that’s her core. But disregards society as that usually brings on masks. She doesn’t feel safe being formal as that for her is a lie…….I could go on :))) it’s multilayered that film as understanding. Indeed we need to distinguish very carefully situations and people. Or judge after a while. Less would be optimum but hey, no saints around:).
@@gracefire9067 she has narcissistic tendencies. Those types hate themselves. We see there why she arrived there. They are overachievers also. Strive to do have more than others. He’s a codependent. They don’t feel worthy of love. They neglect themselves and feel the need to over-give. For the wrong reasons ofc and in the not correct manner. Another childhood wound. Nice enough they healed them through reliving those wounds. Classical psychology. Yes it’s romanticized to some extent and no also. Narcissists do the “love bombing” regardless they don’t feel the emotion. In this case there was genuine emotion also in all that mess. I guess it’s life casualties. It’s never one rule. Very interesting though.
Fucking finally! Somebody spoke about Ko Moonyoung's toxic character, she has trauma but that does not excuse her using her power, status and fame to mistreat people however she wants. It's sad that people see her as a role model when she could easily be just the female version of many toxic male tropes in kdramas. Reminds me of Lee Minho's character in Boys over Flower/Heirs
@@Zoom03352 I've seen enough clips and moments from the show,that part were she threatened to crash the car solidified my stance, also I know the plot and what the show is about from videos and explanations from people who've watched it,if she's the amazing character you say she is fine, I just don't vibe with her.
I think that was part of point because throughout show she began to realize what emotions were. I do understand what you mean though. But I think that she was like Moon gang tae’s brother who had autism, because she was unable to read emotions and hated when things didn’t go her way. Then she finally found someone who knew how to help her with her emotions and control herself. Also I don’t remember her using her status to hurt people I may have forgot but I think all her situations were pretty justified
Every time we’re given a so called “empowering woman”, I always imagine the roles reversed and I’m like “yup this is completely wrong”. Part of me hates that I still have to picture it like that for me to understand what’s wrong about certain scenes, but little by little I’ve been getting better at it. Also, it really shows how much the music and the overacting in those scenes are used to make them seem humorous - especially knowing that if the roles were reversed, the music might be romantic instead of upbeat, which is also very disturbing
Exactly, thats technically it. In a lot of countries, specially in eastern ones, people usually romanticizes toxic behaviour in males, because its associated with strong, capable, men. So, now that feminism is getting stronger, what do they do? They reverse the roles, because its not that they see toxic masculinity as something bad, but that they always show women as submissive and weak, so to empower them, they just make them act just like they male counterpart. However, since men are still men, so even if they are being harassed, they cant show it (unless its for fun), and if the woman who does it is young and pretty, then they have to like it. If they complain, then they are seen as weak and feminine, ´cause feminine=weak in their minds, so for a woman to be strong and "empowered", she has to act masculine. That´s what needs to change. Ps: Im sorry is its messy, English isn´t my first language
Finally someone said it! I was seriously sad that people romanticized Seo Ye Ji's character in "It's okay not to be okay" like, the male lead literally kept telling her to stop pestering him, but the female lead continued to not take no for an answer. I kept screaming "This is okay?? This is supposed to be romantic???". It made me so uncomfortable and it just made me confused about the hype around it all.
Maybe it's because she's a character with a disorder and she's taken a liking to someone who might be able to "change" her? Maybe that's the conflict/the center of it? Im just supposing tho (from what I've heard, I haven't watched it.
@@xogrxce5229yeah ofc she's not meant to be a good person, but the harassment is played off as her bluntness. The issue is the fact that the kdrama did not show her harassment as one of her issues. It wasn't shown and isn't recognised as evidence that she's not a good person.
@@amorefaati its pretty good it just 2 people trying to heal each others traumas and despite it being about trauma the drama probably have one of the most healthy couple i ever see.
Because This Is My First Life was very refreshing in so many ways. Not just main lead couple the second and third lead couples were equally cool and caring and most importantly all of them grow into a better version through their relationships.
Honestly, the show doesn't get enough appreciation with how well it handled a lot of things. I think even the approach to relationships was mature and how it highlighted there can be many kinds of women (as shown by the FL friends), and whether you want to marry or not marry, all your dreams and preferences are valid. I can never stop talking about how much I love that drama
Exactly, I love how respectful they are on handling relationship. Like, the relationship aloong with the characters just grows naturally and it's quite realistic potrayal on how relationship was like irl.
i remember watching itaewon class feeling very disturbed when the female lead kiss the male while he was passed out drunk. I thought there would be some uproar or discussion about it but nothing- I think the show/actors went on to win many awards. I felt to some extent the same about the fl in iotnbo- her behavior was questionable throughout but everyone saw her as a strong boss character so she was celebrated. It's just odd how much the women in these shows get away with bc so many sees it as normal or acceptable.
I find it very uncomfortable to watch Itaewon Class after that scene. She can kiss him while he's drunk but Oh Soo-Ah cant? It's the blatant ignorance for me. And the bottom line is, it's awfully wrong. In our Criminal Act here, anyone who assaults upon an unconscious person can be sent to jail, from 2 to 5 years and more. And I actually stopped watching iontbo, people just brush off her harrasment as a form of empowerement. Literally stopped watching it
I dont know why everyone considers yi seo as "savage" and "cool" when she seems like a brat to me. She was racist, transphobic and hypocritical. I prefer Soo-ah more even though I didnt like her first
i think that's like the whole point. yiseo had sociopathic behaviour, and it's stated multiple times in the show. i get that people sometimes forget about that stuff but it's important to remember that. i would have loved if they actually showed more of her mental health improvement tho but ic was already pretty open minded for a korean drama
Soo ah was a 100% better than yi seo. SHE was the strong woman. She was the only character who was powerful in that drama. Forget sero yi or yi seo, if the drama was only about soo ah it would’ve been the best
I prefer yi seo cuz she's willing to learn and change for better for the people she loves/those around her. Soo ha instead of making her ground clear, she played the ml and even did things her past self was against. She lost her sense of being, doesn't know what or stick to what she believes. And then after becoming a worse person per episode she then pull the damsel in distress card like she didn't know what she's been doing the entire show. Like her leading seori on, being a double agent okay I dont mind. But if u look at yiseo's friend(the one who has crush on her) he does relatively the same thing but he acknowledges that he's crossed a line/point that has no return which is why he doesn't plead or beg or try to mingle his way back into the main cast's life, whilst sooah does crosses that line and then still want to be involved in seori's life like. 😐 GIRL BYE
People try to cancel out the bed scene in Hotel Del Luna since there was no “sexual connection”, when that obviously wasn’t the intention of the writers at all. The bed scene when she is trying to get him to sleep is portrayed in the series as comedic, seeing the male lead so surprised by the female lead. The whole basis of the joke was that it was comedic to see a woman dominating a man, and that is why that scene is especially relevant to the topic of this video.
Another example is Vincenzo. Both Vincenzo and Chayoung had a healthy relationship. She even apologised to him for hugging him without consent and hugged him again after asking consent. They were in a situationship were they both knows that they love each other but never told.
I like that you put 'Because This Is My First Life' as an example towards the end 💓 bc apart from that kiss at the bus stop (which she apologized for), I love how the show emphasized consent, like the main leads literally ask each other "Can I hug you?" "Can I kiss you?" - made the whole thing more heartwarming.
Can you make a version about abusive parents behaviour in kdrama, too? It often annoy me how a parents used to hit their children's head to scold them or saying mean things to their children. Even in a kdrama I considered has a good story, this kinda scene still there. Btw, your videos are great!! Thank you for making this video 👍🏼
that's the reason why i refused to watched Sky Castle, i don't like the concept of Helicopter parenting and putting their selfish desire onto their children which i don't like, i'm against it. the children are human too, they can decided whatever they want in the future as a parent, we're served as a emotional support and give them advice about life and life lesson when they needed the most, not using the children as an extension of yourselves. Children are our future, it's up to them to decide their future and the parent only purpose is to guide them and teach them how to be a future leader for their generation, you can loved them and support unconditionally but something you gotta let them do their own thing and made their own decision.
@@DarthMalgusSith_Lord That's the whole point of the show. They're not glorifying it they're just showing that this is the reality and it has consequences on the children and society at large. It's a great show highlighting the problem. It really resonated with me as I am Asian.
@@bangersmash342 i take that back, after i finished watching that drama, i know the whole thing now, it's about the parent understanding and respecting their children decision and to teach us to take it easy in life rather than being short sighted and sacrificing your own happiness for someone else's happiness.
Omg i was waiting for you to talk about ko mon young she's so abusive she was harassing male lead in his workplace under the pretext of a disorder of the social personality and was obsessed with him when he clearly showed that he was uncomfortable with that i felt so uncomfortable watching the drama Even though i love hotel del luna and vagabond you are right they shouldn't have kissed male leads i totally agree with you Kdrama writer should be more careful and avoid this sexual assault like scenes
Yeah hahaha Ko mon young is pretty savage. It would be great to see her improve but unfortunately she stayed pretty much the same at the end of the show. I feel like it's okay to show people doing nonconsensual things on TV, but it's better if the writers show the consequences and character development
Which is why I couldn't even start to watch the show. People were praising her and all that but i found her to be stalker type very manipulative and frankly someone I don't wanna be around. I dont know how people just start liking such characters.
@@kanikagaral7637 it wasn't the character for me that attracted me to watch it but rather the concept of the drama,, it was about mental illness, overcoming them past trauma, everyone fighting them own battle, we shouldn't judge people etc , at the end of the story them are still learning to be better,, always look at the bright side,,there's a lot more meaningful/beautiful story line inside the drama that really worth watching it,,
Did people forget that she’s mentally unstable? Personality disorders are real and they do act that way which differs significantly from what is expected or “normal”. People aren’t comfortable because they expect a main character to act submissive and innocent. Spice of life isn’t for everyone.
THANK YOU. I hate how this kind of behaviour is lauded in women and they are called 'cool' and 'iconic'. The annoying thing about this kind of behaviour is that it usually doesn't even fit in with the characters' personalities. They make the female characters do this simply because it 'looks cute' or makes us ship the couple more. In fact, most abusive behaviour in kdrama characters (male and female) is done at the consequence of inconsistency in the characters. If the plots were more true to the characters no such thing would have happened. I wish the plot and character arcs were given importance over kdrama tropes. It's okay to not be okay was very cathartic and healing to me, definitely one of my favourite shows ever because it helped me deal with my mental health and understand myself better. I found myself getting attached to every character, but Ko Mun Yeong's actions really threw me off and I still feel guilty for liking her. Her character does have a mean (and kind of bitchy lol) archetype which I understand given her backstory, but nothing justified her predatory behaviour. Honestly that part of her character didn't even make sense. I feel like the writers put it in because of the running idea that assault on men is a joke. It's stupid, and I don't feel like that part of the writing did justice to Ko Mun Yeong's character at all. In my head, Ko Mun Yeong is still the same minus all her inappropriate behaviour lol. She is a great character, would've been perfect if the kdrama writers weren't so hell bent on using such toxic tropes and tainting the purity of their characterization with it. Thank you for making this video!
Well It’s Okay Not To Be Okay, it’s kinda confusing, because she’s portrayed as a psycho, or having severe mental issues. So, it’s not clear if she’s supporting sexual acts.
I mean the point of the show was that everyone had their own problems and made mistakes the problem I personally have is that once the female lead grew more as a person her past actions were never really talked about anymore and from what I remember she never apologized for all the manipulation, like just a sorry would have been enough
yeah that's why that show should not be in this video, she has ASPD(she disregards people's feelings) which is still wrong however because of that mental illness context there is a reason why she does that to him, but everyone watching the show should know it isn't okay that's the point of the show, i think they're talking about how people thought it was empowering of the her to do that when it isn't, but then again that's what the character arc is for IOTNBO
*Kissing someone when they r unconscious/asleep/or without their permission is straight up gross and predator behaviors. Personally speaking, if my crush kissed me while I was asleep, best believe I would wake up looking like donkey from shrek with the amount of rage that I will have even if I liked him. Face rubbing and all those touchy stuff is and can be seeing as forcing sexual tension*
I remember I was weirded out by Korean actor gong yoo’s movie I think it’s called “mr destiny” where the running joke is the ahjummas are attracted to him as they follow him around and the punchline was him getting groped secretly and him leaving upset. I was like wtf
ohhh you mean Finding Mr. Destiny? I haven't watched that one yet. I genuinely feel bad for ajummas, I feel like they've been used and their image is ruined by media lol
@@yuanProduction yes! “Finding Mr. Destiny.” I recommend it even tho it had its messed up moments. And I just realized the main leads had a moment exactly like how you explained in your vid. Where the female character sexually assaults and the male character just accepts it and actually ends up getting turned on and accepting the assault without repercussions to the female character. It’s messed up that I was so used to such scenes that it didn’t pop up in my mind until I finished watching your analysis.🤦🏿♀️
This is so insightful. I think the culture has a role to play here as well. There was a South Korean guy I used to hang out with who once told me his mother beating him and his father was normal and that most Korean girls show physical violence like slapping and all towards their boyfriends. It's not seen abusive there at all, because when I pointed out the absurdity of it, he said, why, that's so common, not a big deal! Funny part was, he was immensely respective towards women and said he'd never do the same things to the girls, but the girls doing those things was somehow okay.
I think adding IONTBO and Hotel de Luna is slightly unfair. In that one Hotel de Luna scene, she kissed him to distract him from the literal monster that was gonna kill him, and that bed scene has no sexual innuendo as she literally just wanted him to go to sleep so he could have a dream. As for IONTBO, Ko Munyeong's behavior is NEVER normalized throughout the show and actually she's shown to be too extreme and slightly psychotic, but it's important to note that she's supposed to be someone with an untreated personality disorder (not that this is an excuse, but if you've ever had any sort of relationship with someone with untreated mental illness- then you know this is not far from reality).
@@sumayyahadetunmbi4347 It's really sad honestly. The show did such a great job at portraying mental illness and it just went over people's heads completely.
I agree though at the same times the memes, praises, and attentions in IONTBO (from what I’ve seen) are when she is harassing the ML. Plus being mentally ill doesn’t mean she wasn’t abusive, she was, because her illness made her abusive. thankfully the directors and writer wrote it well, but from all the memes and stuff you can see that many think that her acting up is cute and QuIrKy. I mean I didn’t watch the show cuz it’s not in my genre but the fact that the main couple ended up together after all that harassment (mental illness or not) irked me so I kinda stayed away.
In addition to being wrong and gross and perpetuating the idea than men can't be SA'd, I think having women "act like men" also really helps with the whole "feminism is just sexism" argument a lot of people have. We really need to start portraying how forceful, agressive and violent behaviors affect _everyone_ regardless of gender
Today's "strong female leads": - a fucking Mary Sue that verbally abuses anyone that dislikes her or is not friends with her - just has to be a super strong person but is actually just toxic - will usually harass a male character - any girl that enjoys being feminine and cute is bashed upon by the community for being "bitchy" - the sole reason I despised the female lead in it's okay to not be okay is that she's so... Inhuman. Alot of female leads have little to no weaknesses and zero vulnerability. I will take a feminine but vulnerable FL to someone like it's okay to not be okay any day.
@@kanyaanindita4461 i agree but there's so many ways you can have an interesting storyline AND have leads with a healthy relationship. Take vincenzo for example it has such an engaging story along with leads with a healthy relationship
"Is ok not be ok" Is just horrible.romanticizes a relationship with a psychopath ... no it's not right ... She may have been through a lot in his life and that just means she needs therapy not a relationship.
I actually like it’s okay to not be okay, she definitely had some sort of personality but the ML always knew that even since childhood. He’s also a psychiatric professional it’s not like he can’t recognize what’s happening. I think the FLs saving grace and reason why their relationship works is how she was able to become best friends with their brother and fit into their family dynamic.
Oh My Ghost was genuinely hard to watch at times because she was assaulting the male lead half the show. It just made me uncomfortable. I do really respect how they portrayed bipolar disorder though. Him saying she has no control over it and she will be healthy on medication instead of calling her crazy is such a big cultural shift for Korea, I really respect it
FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT !! Men too can be SH victim and women can be the perpetrators! These characters are not "savage strong" female characters, they're actually abusive, rude, disrespectful and s3xual harassers, but the industry romanticizes such behaviors. There are these side characters in Hi Bye Mama, they're a married couple and the female is older. Their relationship is basically the wife physically abuses the husband, there's this scene where she literally beats him up and yelled at him in public as a comedic relief, and I was like "wtf?"
Every time I see those “multi fandom badass female leads” edit video I just feel so weird seeing the ladies abuse the meant sexually and be praised by it. Like imagine if that was a male lead doing that to a female, the movie will most likely be banned from Korea stations like mnet and kbs 🤦♀️
that point you made at the end of "we have to question what strong really means" is so true! it reminds me that surface level feminism wants men and women to be equal, even when it means women taking on the same toxic roles as men. In actuality we should focus on dismantling the patriarchy so that these power dynamics are not enforced between any gender
I loved Oh My Ghost but when Bo Young’s character was possessed, it was hard to watch. The best part was that he did point out that awful behavior and truly liked her character when she was herself, not a sex obsessed ghost that used other women to assault (and accidentally hospitalize) several men.
Yeah the sexual harassment was hard to watch but at least they called that shit out. Tbh I mainly watched that drama for the sweetheart dad who reminds me a lot of my late maternal grandpa
@@werewolffaerie1 I actually watched the Thai remake with my family since my grandma only knows Thai and English and can’t read subtitles. And the actor in that one REALLY looked like my grandpa too so my mom and I were just crying our eyes out. I’m sure that when I go to watch the original Korean one on my own I’m gonna be crying all over again On a side note I really liked a Cordon (he went by another name in the remake) but watching clips on TH-cam their characters are exactly the same. My grandma said he was very respectful which was cute. So the second male lead and the dad have my heart
@@alyssapinon9670 I've been meaning to watch the Thai remake. I was rooting for Cordon the whole time, even when I rewatched it. The main lead was such a narcissist; I enjoyed the show but there were times I wanted to stop watching. Dramas are better when they have believable characters in them that you can connect with. I am sorry for your loss, grandparents are irreplaceable.
@@werewolffaerie1 thank you 😊 Oh my Ghost brought up a lot of repressed feelings/memories but it was a nice way to remember my grandpa. Plus now that I am part of more of these communities I can see that I’m not alone in my feelings. I was rooting for Cordon too and was disappointed that the FL ended up with the ML. That’s when I first learned what second lead syndrome was 😂 😭 . Plus in addition to having a better personality than the main lead, Cordon wasn’t any less handsome. so I was just scratching my head at why she didn’t choose him and why (at least in the Thai version) he didn’t at least end up with some other character. Wasted potential
At 6:00 if there are any males watching this video ....please remember that if a women forces you like that , you have full authority to SLAP her . A man can SLAP a women if she is wrong
This serves as a great guide of what dramas to avoid, lol. But seriously, amazing video. It's extremely well thought out and put together. What you've said is true not just in kdramas, but in any kind of media as well as real life situations. Let's hope that one day we can watch shows in which no one is hitting, grabbing, or suddenly kissing anyone. As for real life, I think videos like yours are a great way to explain the concept to others and gain a more concrete understanding of why certain things are considered acceptable, even when they shouldn't be. Thank you so much!
Thank you! Yeah, I feel like if writers put these kind of scenes on TV, they shouldn't overly romanticize it. Yes, people make mistakes in datings / socializing, and it's okay to make mistakes, but show the actual consequences when female/male leads making other people feel uncomfortable. Let's hope for more variety on TV together hahaha
Well... There is one manhwa that the 'Nuna' got drunk and and had sex with a 18 year old boy who was drunk. The aftermath was that she got pregnant and did not tell him. Even when the guy tried to do the right thing and be a father, she would berate him and doesn't acknowledge him as a man. Eventually, she would come around and 'date' him and even marry him. But throughout the entire comic, not once told him that she loved him or show him any kind of love. That kind of broke me.
This video should get more recognition because this shows how man also get sexual assault... I don't know why people don't understand that being strong doesn't mean to show your intimate side being strong mean the people around you feel safe they can do whatever they want without being afraid... I love every second of your video the other day I was taking to my cousin's about if we changed the gender in some dramas people will hate the male lead and here you show that...this video is gem ✨✨✨
This must be a hit on the stomach for all male who have been victims of any kind of sexual assault. Remember guys, consent is everything and if a girl keeps insisting they are in the wrong not you
thanks for this! Its one of the main reasons why kdramas like something in the rain and Vincenzo are so appealing to me because both parties have consent and respect towards each other. The female leads are strong and can stand up for themselves without degrading and embarrassing the male lead.
I haven't watched all the dramas. However, I really felt the girl in It's Okay Not To Be Okay isn't cool or strong. Anyway, I never felt the same for the girl from Hotel Del Luna. All the scenes mentioned here had a different purpose. When the kiss happened the girl was trying to divert his attention otherwise a ghost would have literally killed the guy. None of them were attracted to each other at that point in time. The bed scene had double meaning .. one can take offense there .. but, the girl was forcing him to sleep so that he can have a dream .. she has no intention of having sex with him and he knew it. I won't argue if someone finds it harassment .. everyone has their own set of rules to judge an action .. here I just felt the intent was clear to both men and women, so, we can term it powerplay (in the second case) but not sexual harassment.
the fl in iotnbo was not mentally stable which explains her insensitive and crazy acts unlike other dramas... its kind of similar in oh my ghost... the ghost thinks the only way she can leave the world is by losing her virginity... its not like she was a sexual offender as a human...
Lol I see you guys don't under the drama it's okay not to be okay at all. The actions and behaviors of the female lead was never portrayed to be normal. And she wasn't said to be a good person. She has a disorder and does what she wants. But the main point of the drama is showing her gradual character development and she helped the male lead face his traumatic past and grudges he had and also seeing life in a new perspective
@@PVDofc no not in this case. At least not when a ghost can kill the person and the kiss (which can be termed which looked like kiss but wasn't really) can save the life.
i always cringe when someone's being described as 'badass' 😭 i don't know why. but anyways, people need to start seeing that behavior like this coming from both men and women is not okay. don't just hold men accountable for it when women are just as capable of doing this, which some do. women empowerment is not about being above someone else and degrading them, it's about having a voice, making your own individual decisions, being independent, and having EQUALITY.
THANK YOU. I was so uncomfortable watching the first few episodes of 'It's Okay to Not Be Okay' and kept wondering why no one talked about how problematic that was!
Totally agree, I hope that soon this kind of behaviour star to show as bad as it is. I had also noticed the "wife abussive roal" that is clearly in Her private life (2019), Strong girl Bong-soon (2017) and in Navillera (2021). Also I feel unconfortable and sad about those male characters that can't say no because they had to act like a "man" but What is that?
thank you for this video. several times assault against men gets neglected and brushed up as girl power. thats bs. "girl power" doesnt mean harassing or beating up innocent men. it means to be aware your rights and when they get violated you take action
Im so so so glad you addressed this issue. I often feel uncomfortable with these characters but everyone else goes like"yass queen "and "shes so badass" so I generally stay quiet. I love you for this.
Girls being a bitch to a guy and hitting him is suddenly “standing up for herself and fighting back” yet if a guy told a girl off that deserved it or actually tried to defend himself everyone would cry it’s abuse
This video reminds me of a video I saw years ago where the video essay was on male r*pe as presented in Hollywood films and how it’s almost always used as a comedic device. I think it stems from toxic masculinity and how when men are in vulnerable positions it is viewed as funny because we view them as the “dominant” sex but being in that position is bad for anyone and I personally have a Distain for that troupe because very harmful.
Yep I saw this coming, looking at the thumbnail. I watched It's Okay to not Be Okay around 2 months ago. I was attracted to the premise of a girl who is successful through her own hard work, and is allowed to showcase strong emotions. But I quickly realized that the show subscribes to a lot of the same stereotypical and frankly, sexist tropes, and the relationship between Munyeong and Gangtae is frankly pretty toxic. I appreciate that they ventured out of the normal kdrama formula, and at least tried to defy stereotypes, but there was not much thought put into it. I enjoyed the romance a bit but I guarantee if Seo Yeji and Kim Soohyun were worse at acting or had bad chemistry, a lot of this show's antics just wouldn't work. These dramas think that character development is just having the initially abusive female character get shouted at by the male character. And then in the end the male character gets abusive so there's a balance! Lovely. :(
The whole show was about mental health and the girl was actually a sociopath, I think the show managed to make it quite clear that the girl's behaviour wasn't meant to be praised. She becomes strong in the sense that she fights to recover from her past trauma, not for being toxic which is a consequence of her ASPD. And the interesting point is also that the whole angsty bit of the love story is around the unhealthy relationship these two are forming, that's pretty rare for a drama. What was getting in the way of their romance (aside from the whole family drama) was the toxic duo they were forming and they were aware of it.
@@mell4248 Pls I am baffled at how many don't actually understand the main points of the drama and what it was trying to say. None of the behaviors of the female lead was ever portrayed as being normal and okay. Why didn't people get this?
Well it shows that u clearly didn't get the message that the drama conveyed. İt showed mental illnesses and how disorders can shape a toxic personality but deslite being antisocial n having psychotic tendencies because of ger experience, Mun Yeong didnt shy away from those traumatic memories but embraced her dark self and tried to overcome it, Gang Tae knew fully well why she was like that n he accepted her despite that so please stop saying that doesn't have any meaning behind the whole show because GangTae accepted Mun Yeong in all her self (dark, psycho yet strong enough to become better version of herself) because clearly 'Normal' people are so much more selfish that they only accept the good side of a person but they disregard their dark side!
"It's ok to not be ok" was sooo uncomfortable even for me as a girl! She was so aggresive, it was disgusting! I dropped the drama after 3-4 ep. I just couldn't bare to watch it anymore.
you must not be getting the point of the drama…. they change at the end, they both have trauma and they heal eachother. it’s not that hard to understand
"it’s not that hard to understand"- Please don't imply that I am stupid! And just because you liked it and could follow it, that does not invalidate MY experience with it! I didn't like it! It gave me anxiety when she screamed and followed him around like a psycho!@@irisem
Used to find these stuffs funny when i was younger around 15. As my conscience grew, i couldn't help but get disgusted by the acts the women in dramas or movies do to men. Recently was watching Devil Judge and grew extremely uncomfortable by how the rich women were swarming Gaon when he went to the party, touching him and forcing him to take off his coat. In another scene, Yohan was kidnapped by the villain lead, forcefully kissed and touched by her several times. But it's all okay right cause a man is the one going through that.
same, when i was younger and watching “oh my ghost” i didn’t see it as sexual harassment but now when i’m older i notice every abusive behavior when watching kdramas and other media
@@ananya3004 Yesss and some people are passing it off as "Badass" and "Powerful"; it's awful how at first I didn't notice how disgusting it is for her to do that, but now I realised it's super wrong and hypocritical
Sexual Harassment from woman are just as bad as Sexual Harassment from man... Either can give physically and mentally damage. It's the most inappropriate and disgusting behaviour where it breach the boundary of excessive manner... That's why it is the most disturbing thing when this were showing in drama or any type of media platform...
For it's okay to not be okay, it's a tough case because it's self-aware that the main character is practicing abusive behaviors but it's true that the tone is comedic when displayed. The drama is more complex in the sense that it's obvious why Gang Tae is attracted to her in the first place, it's what he's used to. Being the "fixer" of the dysfunctional. I think the drama did a lot of things well such as addressing the role of childhood trauma in a person's current life but it still pushed the idea that Mun Young needed that one person to finally understand her and "fix" her instead of her being like "hey, I'm really a bitch, why, maybe I should fix that about myself", she was very dependant on him to fix her. I think this drama was a missed opportunity to discuss people's abusive tendency to deflect responsibility
Jang Manwol really shouldn't be in this video at ALL. First of all, the two scenes you put here are taken out of context as some other people have already mentioned (The kiss was a way to distract him from a monster that would literally kill him if he looked at it, and that bed scene has no sexual innuendo in the slightest as she literally just wanted him to fall asleep and dream). And second of all, she's literally a character who protected Changsun all throughout the series, she literally gave him so many chances and opportunities to leave and free himself of the eventual hurt that being with her might bring him.. she often thought of his wellbeing above hers, and would never do anything to intentionally hurt him. So I just think putting her in a video about "Female sexual offenders" is incredibly unfair to her character.
I get what you said. She's not one of those fem sexual offenders but regardless of whether sexual feelings involved or not, she still made the man uncomfortable and scared. So, we shouldn't really let that slide.
in The Devil Judge, Jung Sunah is a great example of this. She's portrayed as this strong female villain who was sexually abused, so now she's shown as empowered and has basically been beating, controlling her abuser and has been protecting other female victims from harassment. However, she's also obsessed with the male lead (Kang Yohan) and has harassed him multiple times and kissed him without his consent and he always rejects her advances.
I'm glad you included "Because This Is My First Life". That drama was refreshing and more realistic than most dramas. I don't really watch a lot of K-dramas because of the toxic females leads portrayed as "strong and confident". (This is why I don't like watching jo yiseo in Itaewon Class, she's too toxic and it annoys me that people see her as strong and conficent.)
Finally, someone called this out… No matter the gender, unless they have fast reflexes, no one can avoid a sudden kiss. I thought it was getting good with fighting females, but instead of getting neutral, we are just switching genders. After a century or something, this issue would be raised again and it would be an endless loop at this rate. Hah…
Love this video. I agree to all points you made and I actually found myself getting sad for all males who has to keep quiet because no one takes their sexual harassment and assault seriously.
Few k-drama with strong not abusive female leads : Tale of the nine tailed, strong woman do bong soon, graceful family, vagabond, healer, law school, flower of evil, etc.
something in the rain? you’re kidding right she was hitting him, or threatening to beat him or she pulled his ear he even said in regards to her and his sister “you guys are so abusive”, and when they got together she acknowledged that she was constantly hitting him and he said that it’s ok because he’s used to it
I've literally never laughed at these scenes and I've found them quite disturbing as well. The Itaewon class one is just the clichè of people kissing loved ones while they sleep bc they're too scared of revealing their feelings, so i had no reaction to it, but that girl pinning that guy on the bed and saying "think i'm crazy, it will be easier for you this way"?? That was DISTURBING i have shivers down my spine
i’m so glad that you made this video. this was always a problem i saw in kdramas and i hated it since i’ve personally experienced it from both genders. but all my friends always write off these female harasser scenes as hilarious and awkward and when the men do it, they are always disgusted
it’s so crazy how sexual assault and even body shaming is so normalized in dramas and tv shows in korea to the point where it’s now comedy to them :/ very sad
Im horrified. It was.. uncomfortable to say the least. When i had pointed out the sexual harrasment of the men in some dramas, i always got called out , being said stuff like "oh youre probably a virgin" "you just hate that women are ruling" like are they dumb assess? Wheres that "feminism"?or does it only apply if its a woman being harrassed.😐
Thank you so much for making this video. Nowadays I feel like literally every kdrama I watch has at least one female character abusing a male, be it the lead or her mother or her best friend - and I am so sick of it. Men don’t deserve to be treated that way any more than women deserve to be portrayed that way. We don’t have to be hateful to be strong. And men don’t have to be victims to be soft. I commented on Twitter after the first two episodes of a *certain show* about how disappointed I was that the lead female kissed the lead male without his consent (they were literally strangers to each other at the time), and the actress’ fans took some kind of personal issue with it and I got lambasted for disliking her character. Even though it had literally nothing to do with the actress herself; I had explicitly stated how the writers should have done a better job at least setting up the act as something bad, instead of funny and cute. The worst part was that I had to deal with the fans’ lengthy essays defending what was genuinely sexual assault. It was horrifying and saddening.
A drama or a movie can make anything look the way they want it to with a catchy story and background music. They want a rich, arrogant and mean character to be the main lead - give them a sad past story. They want the male lead to show abusive behaviour but make it look like true love - Make the male lead protect the female lead from deadly situations like kidnapping, etc. Want the female character to show abusive behaviour but get away with it- add comedy music or make it a "middle aged woman". Also the 'begins as a surprised/ forced kiss but ends up being a both way kiss" is a very common way to make the audience feel like it's fine. The good thing is that now people are talking against what's right and wrong.
This is amazing video and thank you for compiling this. Tired of abusive women being hailed as badass. Women can be badass without being abusive, one recent drama i saw where the female lead was a boss but never abusive. Hong cha young from Vincenzo. She’s always respected space and apologised whenever she’s touched without consent. I really appreciated how she realised that the other person might feel uncomfortable with physical gestures and apologised for it. Even with her intern she wasn’t handson touching etc. this was right on top of my head lol. There are many cool boss women who aren’t abusive.
That scene in It's Okay not to be Okay always bothered me. I was watching the drama while it was airing and was disappointed no one pointed out how disgusting Moon Young acted, instead they said that it was such a "mood".
Exactly! For some reason they see nothing wrong with it. I don’t understand why they don’t see that it’s sexual harassment. They know for sure if the gender role was switched that they would be OUTRAGED! Like, literally use your brain for a sec. what’s wrong is wrong. Don’t go around groping someone’s chest, no matter your gender.
I pointed out how problematic Ko Munyeong is once and the fans replied to me with "Well, she has a mental condition so she is not familiar with personal boundaries" um mental illness is not an excuse to be a creep lol. I can get behind that she is not a normal girl. What I don't like is how everyone praises her actions, when she should not be praised.
@BLINK! PINK!. Ngl when u put it that way it puts the show in a different perspective lmao. The scenes where she actively manipulates gangtae using sangtae just felt so uncomfortable, and im someone who has a sibling w a mental condition as well
Yay! You’re back! Have you seen Sexual Assault Played for Laughs by Pop Culture Detective? It’s all the same issues but with an American perspective. And honestly, it’s not all that different. Patriarchy seems to be very similar in SK like in the States, at least in this type of media portrayals. In Its Okay to Not Be Okay, The main female lead had a lot of trauma to work through, but the show didn’t do a good job of her taking responsibility for the things she did. Her rage and need for control almost seemed like a plot device instead of a part of her character. She is still a horrible person by the end of the series in my opinion. 🤷🏻♀️ I love Because this is My First Life. It’s so very sweet. I might rewatch the last episode over and over again…on a regular basis! I just love the characters and the way romance was treated. I thought it handled sexual assault well. Not perfectly but well enough. Can’t wait to see more of your vids!
Yes! I like Pop Culture Detective! His video essays are amazing! Yeah, honestly the issues are similar. But there are more raping scenes conducted by female perpetrators in US dramas and films to exaggerate the absurdity of male victims being harassed. I guess if Korean dramas have that, it would probably be banned lol I agree with what you said about it's okay to not be okay. As a female lead like that, I was expecting to see some character development along the way, but that's not the case for this show. There is one scene in the later episode in which she asked Moon Gang tae to not wear the suit cause it looks too good on him. In the end she is still very controlling, and their relationship is based on Moon Gang tae "healing" her, which is very unfair. I like Because This Is My First Life too! Also Run On! Haven't watched many recent ones but these two are pretty awesome!
This is such an educational video about female offenders. Thank you for piling those dramas for us to learn about not to be stereotyped on this particular crime. Such a genius to create this video. Awesome work!
I could not watch Its okay not to be okay because of the assault - it disgusted me that people were not calling the character out and encouraging it! She was abusive in real life too (the actress) but literally, MOST international fans were like, 'oH wELL - everyone makes mistakes' OR 'stiLL LovE hEr'. Wdym, what would you do if the roles were reversed? Why are people enabling this behavior? So disappointed in our society, 1 step forward and 10 steps back. So many males don't report their assault, because as a society, we enable sexual assault against males.
I'm glad this video exists , we should point out when we (woman) are the one making a mistake too , and more importantly when it's the same mistakes we don't want males to do. Some actions are wrong no matter Wich gender does it.
ko moon young was quite problematic at times but she had great character development imo . if you compare her to jo yi seo and jang man wol she's a lot better i love strong female leads but i found yi seo to be extremely annoying and toxic at times ... others strong non-toxic female leads are seo dal mi from start-up , women is search www , kang soo jin from mother , go ae shin from mr sunsine , jiwon - flower of evil etc
So we can easily say there is abuse from both sides in Korean dramas. And the worst thing is that these "strong women" become abusers, that's not progressive. It is the same.
I can't believe their are actually women like you who actually speak up about this problem. I remember watching the sexual harassment scene of its oaky not to be okay and commenting how what the woman was doing was sexual harassment. People called me snowflake for that. I am thankful more and more women are understanding how male sexual harassment is equally unacceptable...
I was a bit shocked when I saw it too but after watching the whole series I realized that her actions were meant to be toxic and that was a part of it. It wasn't okay (pun intended) and it was text book definition abusive, and that is the character that she portrayed, especially at that period in her development. I do sometimes wish that showed her having some sort of consequence for that, but I also understand that she does not have a normally/ healthily developed mind due to her disorder and that was a result of it. She is a victim herself, and it doesn't justify her actions but it does explain why she acted the way she did.
The FL in "Beauty Inside," too! There was a old guy (pedophile) who touched a young girl (student) inappropriately, saying that she "reminded him of his daughter," obviously making her feel very uncomfortable. The female lead in K-drama, "Beauty Inside," saw this and exacted her revenge(?) by patting the guy's butt, saying that he "reminded her of her dad." She did this in front of the press, photographers, business-people, as she was an actress. The scene shocked me. There could have been better ways for her to point out or call attention to his inappropriate behavior. o_o
I love how you put the video, just pointing out where we are going wrong and what needs to be changed. Thank you so much! I hope many sexual victims (male) speak up for them after watching this.
I think that is part of the problem in Korea. Male or Female, the system seems to dismiss the issue, sweep it under the rug. Men harassed are afraid of being seen as weak and women harassed are victim blamed. From police investigators to the laws to the social pressure-it all leads to victims droppings the charges.
this makes me sad, it's not talked about enough. Thank you for making this video, both female and male victims deserve to be heard. I've noticed this in a lot of recent popular kdramas like the ones you showed(True beauty, It's ok to not be ok, Itaewon Class, etc.) and it's sad how many people romanticize them and love the shows. It makes me hesitant to watch them, and it's sad because I was interested in watching them but I probably won't anymore. They need to stop using this for comedy or romance, they should show how it affects the guy in a negative way like giving him trauma, instead of making him like it eventually.
14:14 - 14:36 That kind of scene also happens a lot when the genders are reversed. A guy forcefully kisses a woman and even though she resists at first as the kiss goes on she starts getting into it and reciprocates. I find it problematic in both versions. It implies that you can force someone to like you back if you're just insistent enough and completely disrespect their boundaries, which is... yikes. "She/He secretly wanted it, I just had to make him/her see that" already sounds like something a sex offender would say to justify what they did.
Something about this feels like lazy writing on the scriptwriter's part. "Instead of a man being super forward and borderline SA, what if it was a woman?" All they did was flip the script and they think they did something good. There's so much more to female empowerment than that. Male characterization deserves better as well. KDramas are a great opportunity to teach about consent and proper romantic advances. Instead, they do this.
Women empowerment doesn't mean harrasing male. It just means letting women choose and have opinions of their own.
This is the thing I want everyone to tell. Girls nowadays think talking trash about boys, having a bad bitch personality who cruse more than saying words is women empowerment. That is not Women Empowerment.
@@eliavii2393 not just that people also think feminism is degrading men when its just asking for same rights for men and women.
Exactly
You are right
exactly someone needs to tell to the writers who write these type of shows
What makes me feel worse is that the Ahjumma stereotype is obviously targeted towards poorer middle-aged women to show them as vulgar and low class. They will never showcase a normal Ahjumma. Somewhere in the series she will always have to hit, slap or threaten someone with violence.
so true....didn't think of the class dynamics until your comment
They can be harsh, but not sexually harass everyone unless they are family, like their children and brothers. Because I seen it, not in Korea, but in India…
so before covid i used to travel through public transportation alot. And (some) women would shamelessly try to touch/grope places i SERRIOUSLY don't want to be touched. Its not just ahjumma's idk why theyre degrading them just because their old and dont fit the societal beauty standard.
@@II-pe2pv Frankly some of them aren't even old, some Ahjummas that are casted look around 35-40 years old. Just very very strong classist screenwriting
@@abimon76 yeah true. Well all I'm trying to say is bad people come in all shapes sizes and ages.
Strong Woman Do Bong Soon is a great show about female empowerment but not when it comes to the heroine's mother and father. The female lead's mom is constantly abusing her husband and it's always seen as a big joke.
yeah With that enormous physical strength, you'd think she could be a hero to save the world or something, but she becomes an abuser for domestic violence
@@yuanProduction and homophobic
don't get me started on the queerbaiting anf homophobia, *he is healthy man who likes women*, * i don't see you as a man that's why i can sleep at your house*
and straight jisoo flirting with min like noooo that was awful, and that mean gay employee...
and in true beauty as well.
@@tynesky it was too cringe for me i couldn't watch it
Wow, you actually made the man version. It always bothering me when sexual harrasement to male characters potrayed as a funny thing. Worse is that lately that seems used to potray empowerment women. Like you are a strong woman if you could abused or harassed a man.
yeah I did the male version first, and people in the comment section seems to think that it's unfair I only talked about abusive guys lol
I suggest you to watch pop culture detective video about this same issue ! It's so well researched
@@pure_heroinne yeah I love his video! Don't know how can he watch hundreds of movies and TV shows for a video essay.
YUPPPP SAMEEEEE
Exactly, I am always like harrasment is not funny, be it for men or women.
i dislike using the enemies-to-lovers trope as an excuse for abusive actions - as seen in true beauty - just because two characters dislike each other doesn't mean they have to be physically and/or verbally abusive towards each other. also, even if there's problematic characters they rarely ever have a well thought out redemption arc and the viewer is just supposed to accept the character and forget their actions.
i once actually read a book with the enemies to lovers trope but the best thing about it was that there was no physical or mental abuse in it at all. They simply disliked each other but was mature around everyone else and it was so refreshing to see tbh
@@dinuridesilva4879 what was the name
@@dinuridesilva4879 aah tysm
people confuse rivals to lovers with enemies to lovers a lot.
Then they’re not enemies
Oh my finally someone talked about its okay to not be okay.
Exactly it was wrong on so many levels imagine if the gender was switched a random man barged into the women's changing room and tried groping someone it'll be a whole new story but since the victim is male everyone is acting like it was nothing
Gosh dont be so uptight people!!! there’s no harassment w/ that scene at all, it was done in a humorous way. You take it seriously tsk!!
@@janellakaye it literally is though. I agree that not every kdrama or tv series or whatever should be educational but as a woman, if some random man came into the place where i was changing and i was topless and he started groping and touching my chest i guarantee you i would not find it funny. The same should judgement should be held for ko mun young who barged into his dressing room and started touching him. something like that should never be portrayed as humorous
@@janellakaye Yeah, we take it 'seriously ', Despite the male leads constant rejection, refusal and anger shown towards the female leads such actions..
HaHaha so humourous!
@@neon2319 glad I wasn’t the only One who found that scene weird😟
Only switching the genders in these tropes is such a common way a lot of older writers "subvert" them and it's so lazy! I know these writers are usually on a deadline but it's a shame so many of them dont seem to want to make something of value
there are many female characters like this come out recently and got popular since they are different than the traditional submissive/innocent ones...
@@yuanProduction it bothers me so much. Like you can make a strong female lead and even give her anger issues or whatever but you don’t have to make them abusive. It’s so easy to make a strong female lead without making her abusive :/
@@yuanProduction They can make an innocent girl character that has a strong mentality, and expressing her discomfort when the male lead being overprotective. And they can make a male lead not abusive, but instead kind and when it comes to something serious, he can be serious. There is a lot of ideas I can list that i want K-drama's to have.
People just brush over Oh Soo-ah's character in Itaewon class because she wasn't badass or kicking and sassying people around. She's a great example of a strong female character, she has a goal, gets revenge, starts her own business
you’re so right, she’s one of the best female kdrama characters written. she’s the real hero of the show! sooah main character!
i liked her too!
I never understood why the fandom hated her so much while praising the other girl for being "strong". I found her personality disgusting.
Yesss!!!
Honestly I don't really get Park Sae‑ro‑yi's devoted love to Oh soo-ah even though it was written that way in the show. Of course this show is mainly about Park's revenge so romantic love is secondary. But Park is seen as someone who deeply loves Oh soo-ah and waiting for her love. He also states that Oh is the one can define this relationship however she wants to. But throughout this show, I've never seen Park did anything to make this romantic relationship possible. It seems like Oh is the one being indecisive but how can Oh define this relationship as romantic when Park spent most of the years working on some ships abroad for his revenge? The fact that Park is seeking for revenge is an obstacle for their romantic relationship and both of them know that. It's not that Oh soo-ah is playing hard to get or playing with Park's feelings. People might disagree with this: but frankly I don't think I've ever felt that Park deeply loves any of the female characters in the show.
Talking about female sexual offenders I remember a once told story of a man. In this party, many people got drunk and girl forced herself on a guy. Guy was much stronger than her, and people said afterwards: "Why didn't you just throw her off yourself if you didn't want to sleep with her?". Man answered that he understood that he did actually had an opportunity to physically get rid of her. However she was so persistent that the amount of force needed to get rid of her would probably throw her off to the floor and even give her bruises. He knew that it would be viewed as if he (big strong man) just beaten up her (woman with much less physical power). And he might even face charges in that case. So he let her do what she wanted so he won't have troubles with the law enforcement or be judged by his peers. And this story gets me every time... Man also can be put in a horrible situations when both choices are bad, and there's no nice way out.
This is so sad that he couldn’t use self defense or else he would get charged.
That is very common
Welcome to being a man in the modern world.
I saw a women sexually harass my husband at a party, she knew we came as couple, she was smaller than him, backed him up into a wall. He just froze, because it's embarrassing, he would have had to shove her out of the way. I fished him out, but he still remembers it thirty years later.
My beef trope is the women who is going to make someone love/marry her, and in the process is always depicted as a manipulating spoilt bitch, and their actions explained because they love/want that person so much. In my experience women are just not like that, where did this come from?
@@FleetingDream755 this type of comment is the reason that this issue is never taken seriously.
When a girl gets harassed, it's usually treated in a much more serious manner
but when a boy is harassed, it's seen as a funny thing....
Happens irl too
Forreal, I watched one of Adam Sandler's movies recently and he had had sex with his fully grown maid when he was 15 years old, the movie treats it as a funny thing and was showing that he was a player from an early age or something but in reality that was statutory rape, plain and simple. He still had contact with her when he grew up and everything
Or will portray the male victim as being lucky when talked about.
@@MaeArt725 oh yeah that's sick to even think about
@@MaeArt725 yep
When will people finally realize a shy or meek woman can be strong too? As a writer, I almost always prefer bold women as my protagonists but that doesn't mean that I'll make shy women the weaker kind. All women have different lives and experiences thus influencing their personality but that doesn't give them the right to harass men or judge other women.
yes I don't like how quieter more gentle women are portrayed as weaker. Being loud, outgoing, and bold aren't the only examples of being strong. Being strong can mean speaking up for others. standing up for what's right. setting boundaries, being hardworking, going through trauma and living with it. Strength doesn't only have to be physical, it can be emotional and mental strength too.
Exactly!! I agree with you. Being shy doesn't mean someone is weak. I don't like that stereotype.
I think jiwon from flower of evil is a very good example of strong female lead without toxic traits
Yesss jiwon was a queen
Yes, precisely, it shows that you don't need to be abusive to be strong and that dedication and affection are not incompatible with being a strong woman
I liked that one too. She didn't go directly into my husband can do no wrong mode. She wanted to investigate and learn the truth before making a judgment.
yes! perfect example, thank you.
Also, Ji Ah from 9 Tailed and Han Ae Ri from Kairos, the female leads of Awaken too. Honestly Han Ae Ri from Kairos is so realistic, she doesn't go around kicking people and is not rude, she is extremely kind but also is extremely wise to solve the whole time warp analogy and also is very brave, never backs off from a situation. She cries, she fights, she plans, she executes, she takes action, she is independent, that's what's really strong. Then recently we had Lee Dam from My roomate is a Gumiho, Taxi Driver, Mouse, Beyond Evil. There are many examples and most of them are from unnderrated shows
My brother is victim of one of harassment... He is a introvert guy who don't really like to speak up address to issue rather he would suffer in silent... So when he was in school teachers used to assign seats of who would sit where. And there was this girl who had a huge crush on my brother and she was open about it but she never really said anything to my brother. He knew but he had to keep quiet and he just hoped that she would ask him out so he could directly reject her. So basically everyone knew about her crush even teachers, and while seating arrangement class teacher /homeroom teacher purposefully arranged them to be bench partners... And he was really uncomfortable for a whole year and said that it was the worst year of highschool for him... That teacher only saw from that girl's perspective and thought it was a good idea to let someone sit with other person who he feel completely uncomfortable with... And then I saw this reddit post on how this one teacher was proud of herself that she arranged two students to sit together who she 'knew' had crush on each other,,I was so mad at that user... He opened up to me about this just few months ago. he passed highschool 7 years ago and he kept it a secret for 7 years... That girl was basically harassing him, stalking him ect. It had turned into weird obsession but thank god it was last year of highschool.... Thank you for talking about these issues... Me being a girl I was taught by my mom to be always vocal about it like if you don't like someone touch you then say no loud and clear and my mom taught me about these things since I was little but she did not taught my brother of how he could also be victim one day. Like she taught him to stand up for a 'girl' if he ever saw someone harassing her but she didn't thought of he could also be harassed....
I hope he's okay, I'm sorry about that
I'm so sorry to hear that, people need to stop normalising harassment
The girl had red flags already like a yandere 🚩
@@juanchoresultay2704yanderes don’t do that, we have manners and mostly internalize everything because doing something like that would make the “senpais” uncomfortable and that would make us extremely extremely sad and upset. Real life yanderes aren’t like how it’s portrayed by media or some crime cases. A lot of us suffer a form of mental illness which brings upon O.L.D. (Obsessive love disorder) which is more of a symptom than a stand alone disorder. Usually it’s in people with bipolar, borderline personality, and sometimes unknown/undiagnosed. But we wouldn’t do anything to actually cause harm or pain to the person of our affection.
@@IvyCoveredAngel idk but ok i see
i agree its not just men in kdramas, its women too, respecting anyone's privacy is the first thing you do irrespective of gender.
I don't understand why some people always try to find reasons to excuse abusive sides of women. Women can be toxic and abusive too in a relationship. Why is it hard for people to accept that? You call a person out for their toxic behavior regardless of what gender they are.
thank you for saying that
i completely agree. female empowerment does NOT involve harassment of ANYONE, nor laughing it off like its fine.
no one deserves SA no matter what gender it is. "not all men" but "not all women" if a woman says she was SA she shouldn't be told that she liked it or "not all men", if a man got SA he shouldn't be told he liked it, and "not all women"
don't ever let abuse of any sort- slide from any gender.
it is unfair and our society has a long way to go.
I agree but if I say it in my country they would say I'm a misogyny girl
With Jo Yiseo in Itaewon Class, I think it was more than just that scene. She harassed and indoctrinated the male lead for years into liking her. He persistently told her that he did not appreciate her inappropriate behaviour, but she still continued. Of course it's okay, because they got together in the end.🙃
And she kissed him without his consent despite stopping soo ah from kissing him and calling it offence.
Oh but it’s okay, cuz she’s bAdAss.
Cuz she’s a woman tbh. Everyone would be attacking the person if the genders were flipped
Yeah, couldn’t stand her character tbh.
Trueeeeeeeeee
Seriously though her behaviour was so creepy and disgusting but people say that she is badass 🙂
Sexual abuse is horrible for both sides. The fact that writers don't put punishment on their stories is awful.
hEntai/erotica logic
Yes
I liked the concept of It's okay to not be okay but some of Ko Mun yeong's traits were problematic.She is strong but it was clear that she made the male lead uncomfortable.
That was supposed to be the point of her character. She's a bad person. But people missed the fact that none of the characters in that show were supposed to be 100 percent good people. They're all broken in their own ways. They are just starting to heal at the end of the show and fix their personal issues. But especially at the beginning she's a bad person.
They both lived extremely traumatic experiences. Those kind of experiences result in PTSD and CPTSD condition. Those are really tough to deal with. She’s not bad just socially non conforming, on purpose. She’s neglecting to acknowledge what she feels because that would be too traumatic for her but instead speaks her mind and acts out whatever passes through her head which actually is very therapeutical for her and those around. The reasons are always ethical the ways are not normal for a girl. She’s fearless and doesn’t respect normal social borders but by acting so she manages to free him from the guilt and shame he inflicted on himself when he failed to act instantly when his brother almost drowned in childhood. He didn’t even think he was in shock. A genuine empathetic soul. In consequence he helped her with the main trauma that kept her “safe” from authentic love (as she witnessed as a child what love can bring about). That, to my surprise (never though a drama could cover such topics) was a great production. Loved everything the acting the production style and script.
@@gracefire9067 She doesn’t trust love. Victims of such trauma as hers carry guilt also.(“it was my fault” - similar to the guy slightly different). Psychopathy (her mom) totally transforms the ones around. She was in fact considered the golden child meant to fulfill her mother’s dreams only. Not considered as a person much less as a child having natural needs of care love and understanding. There are some depths that are disturbing hard to understand and God forbid to live such things. To make it short (in my opinion ofc) she avoids emotional intimacy. Instead she’s overdeveloped her logics her intellect. The manner she expresses what she lived, those books and the concepts, are somewhat dark but deep truths. Logical, blunt one, but not emotional. Along with that she learns to take care of herself by herself as no one else did. Hence she’s fearless and determined cold almost. Not very feminine. She pushes for truth her only certain cure for every situation. (Remember the scene with the guy threatening to kill his babygirl)…..The sexual upfront appraisal towards the guy is also a coping mechanism. These individuals usually develop some type of addiction (alcohol, drugs, sex, work etc). Let’s remember she doesn’t allow herself to feel. I bet she doesn’t even know what she feels if you ask her. It’s called emotional numbness. She maintains ethics that’s her core. But disregards society as that usually brings on masks. She doesn’t feel safe being formal as that for her is a lie…….I could go on :))) it’s multilayered that film as understanding. Indeed we need to distinguish very carefully situations and people. Or judge after a while. Less would be optimum but hey, no saints around:).
@@gracefire9067 she has narcissistic tendencies. Those types hate themselves. We see there why she arrived there. They are overachievers also. Strive to do have more than others. He’s a codependent. They don’t feel worthy of love. They neglect themselves and feel the need to over-give. For the wrong reasons ofc and in the not correct manner. Another childhood wound. Nice enough they healed them through reliving those wounds. Classical psychology. Yes it’s romanticized to some extent and no also. Narcissists do the “love bombing” regardless they don’t feel the emotion. In this case there was genuine emotion also in all that mess. I guess it’s life casualties. It’s never one rule. Very interesting though.
@@gracefire9067 still didn’t get the deer though 😅
Fucking finally! Somebody spoke about Ko Moonyoung's toxic character, she has trauma but that does not excuse her using her power, status and fame to mistreat people however she wants. It's sad that people see her as a role model when she could easily be just the female version of many toxic male tropes in kdramas. Reminds me of Lee Minho's character in Boys over Flower/Heirs
Ya I was always off put by her character, its the reason why I never bothered to watch its okay to not be okay.
@@lina9183 how can you be put off of her character if you didnt watch it lol. shes an amazing character if you watch more than 2 episodes
damn somebody didnt get her character at all
@@Zoom03352 I've seen enough clips and moments from the show,that part were she threatened to crash the car solidified my stance, also I know the plot and what the show is about from videos and explanations from people who've watched it,if she's the amazing character you say she is fine, I just don't vibe with her.
I think that was part of point because throughout show she began to realize what emotions were. I do understand what you mean though. But I think that she was like Moon gang tae’s brother who had autism, because she was unable to read emotions and hated when things didn’t go her way. Then she finally found someone who knew how to help her with her emotions and control herself.
Also I don’t remember her using her status to hurt people I may have forgot but I think all her situations were pretty justified
Every time we’re given a so called “empowering woman”, I always imagine the roles reversed and I’m like “yup this is completely wrong”. Part of me hates that I still have to picture it like that for me to understand what’s wrong about certain scenes, but little by little I’ve been getting better at it. Also, it really shows how much the music and the overacting in those scenes are used to make them seem humorous - especially knowing that if the roles were reversed, the music might be romantic instead of upbeat, which is also very disturbing
Exactly, thats technically it. In a lot of countries, specially in eastern ones, people usually romanticizes toxic behaviour in males, because its associated with strong, capable, men. So, now that feminism is getting stronger, what do they do? They reverse the roles, because its not that they see toxic masculinity as something bad, but that they always show women as submissive and weak, so to empower them, they just make them act just like they male counterpart. However, since men are still men, so even if they are being harassed, they cant show it (unless its for fun), and if the woman who does it is young and pretty, then they have to like it. If they complain, then they are seen as weak and feminine, ´cause feminine=weak in their minds, so for a woman to be strong and "empowered", she has to act masculine. That´s what needs to change.
Ps: Im sorry is its messy, English isn´t my first language
@@angelicarodriguez-il4cz this was very well said, thank you for your reply. And keep up the good work on your English!
@@lizsmith1018 Thank you!!
Finally someone said it! I was seriously sad that people romanticized Seo Ye Ji's character in "It's okay not to be okay" like, the male lead literally kept telling her to stop pestering him, but the female lead continued to not take no for an answer. I kept screaming "This is okay?? This is supposed to be romantic???". It made me so uncomfortable and it just made me confused about the hype around it all.
Maybe it's because she's a character with a disorder and she's taken a liking to someone who might be able to "change" her? Maybe that's the conflict/the center of it? Im just supposing tho (from what I've heard, I haven't watched it.
@@thesparks00 no it's still bad
@@mitsume_slayofc it’s bad, she wasn’t supposed to be a good person. We’re not defending her, we’re saying there’s a reason why she acts like that.
@@xogrxce5229yeah ofc she's not meant to be a good person, but the harassment is played off as her bluntness. The issue is the fact that the kdrama did not show her harassment as one of her issues. It wasn't shown and isn't recognised as evidence that she's not a good person.
@@Akisclov true
Touching people without their consent, whether male or female, is a No Go, period!
Run On is definitely definitely underrated. All the characters were penned down beautifully. The female characters were strong and independent.
Yess!!
ikr healthy show like run on, bcs this is my first life, just between lover are always underrated.
@@balqissolahodin3538 i have heard and read a lot of praises about just between lovers, haven't watched it yet? how's the drama?
@@amorefaati its pretty good it just 2 people trying to heal each others traumas and despite it being about trauma the drama probably have one of the most healthy couple i ever see.
Run on is a beautiful drama
Because This Is My First Life was very refreshing in so many ways. Not just main lead couple the second and third lead couples were equally cool and caring and most importantly all of them grow into a better version through their relationships.
Honestly, the show doesn't get enough appreciation with how well it handled a lot of things. I think even the approach to relationships was mature and how it highlighted there can be many kinds of women (as shown by the FL friends), and whether you want to marry or not marry, all your dreams and preferences are valid. I can never stop talking about how much I love that drama
Exactly, I love how respectful they are on handling relationship. Like, the relationship aloong with the characters just grows naturally and it's quite realistic potrayal on how relationship was like irl.
Yeah I truly love that drama
I love how we all appreciate Because This Is My First Life because that's what the kdrama deserves
"Because this is my first life" is a Truly underrated show!! It has a special place in my heart.
i remember watching itaewon class feeling very disturbed when the female lead kiss the male while he was passed out drunk. I thought there would be some uproar or discussion about it but nothing- I think the show/actors went on to win many awards. I felt to some extent the same about the fl in iotnbo- her behavior was questionable throughout but everyone saw her as a strong boss character so she was celebrated. It's just odd how much the women in these shows get away with bc so many sees it as normal or acceptable.
Not just shows but irl too
I kinda stopped watching after that episode. I thought there was going to be a debate about it but no one really mentioned it.
I thought the same
Pretty sure it’s bc her character is a sociopath so it was in character for her to do that, and her illness is not romanticized like some shows do.
I find it very uncomfortable to watch Itaewon Class after that scene. She can kiss him while he's drunk but Oh Soo-Ah cant? It's the blatant ignorance for me. And the bottom line is, it's awfully wrong. In our Criminal Act here, anyone who assaults upon an unconscious person can be sent to jail, from 2 to 5 years and more. And I actually stopped watching iontbo, people just brush off her harrasment as a form of empowerement. Literally stopped watching it
I dont know why everyone considers yi seo as "savage" and "cool" when she seems like a brat to me. She was racist, transphobic and hypocritical. I prefer Soo-ah more even though I didnt like her first
This!!!
i think that's like the whole point. yiseo had sociopathic behaviour, and it's stated multiple times in the show. i get that people sometimes forget about that stuff but it's important to remember that. i would have loved if they actually showed more of her mental health improvement tho but ic was already pretty open minded for a korean drama
i liked yiseo but i don't understand how she was closedminded when she "studied" abroad and interacted with people there
Soo ah was a 100% better than yi seo. SHE was the strong woman. She was the only character who was powerful in that drama. Forget sero yi or yi seo, if the drama was only about soo ah it would’ve been the best
I prefer yi seo cuz she's willing to learn and change for better for the people she loves/those around her. Soo ha instead of making her ground clear, she played the ml and even did things her past self was against. She lost her sense of being, doesn't know what or stick to what she believes. And then after becoming a worse person per episode she then pull the damsel in distress card like she didn't know what she's been doing the entire show. Like her leading seori on, being a double agent okay I dont mind. But if u look at yiseo's friend(the one who has crush on her) he does relatively the same thing but he acknowledges that he's crossed a line/point that has no return which is why he doesn't plead or beg or try to mingle his way back into the main cast's life, whilst sooah does crosses that line and then still want to be involved in seori's life like. 😐 GIRL BYE
People try to cancel out the bed scene in Hotel Del Luna since there was no “sexual connection”, when that obviously wasn’t the intention of the writers at all. The bed scene when she is trying to get him to sleep is portrayed in the series as comedic, seeing the male lead so surprised by the female lead. The whole basis of the joke was that it was comedic to see a woman dominating a man, and that is why that scene is especially relevant to the topic of this video.
I think female lead in Run-On was great at being a strong woman without toxic traits.
Yesss!!!
Yeah Run-on was really well made
I think Crash course in Romance was really well done too🤍
Another example is Vincenzo. Both Vincenzo and Chayoung had a healthy relationship. She even apologised to him for hugging him without consent and hugged him again after asking consent. They were in a situationship were they both knows that they love each other but never told.
Thank you for this.
Not only in dramas there are countless male abusers, there are equally amounts of females abusers.
I like that you put 'Because This Is My First Life' as an example towards the end 💓 bc apart from that kiss at the bus stop (which she apologized for), I love how the show emphasized consent, like the main leads literally ask each other "Can I hug you?" "Can I kiss you?" - made the whole thing more heartwarming.
Can you make a version about abusive parents behaviour in kdrama, too? It often annoy me how a parents used to hit their children's head to scold them or saying mean things to their children. Even in a kdrama I considered has a good story, this kinda scene still there.
Btw, your videos are great!! Thank you for making this video 👍🏼
Yes please
that's the reason why i refused to watched Sky Castle, i don't like the concept of Helicopter parenting and putting their selfish desire onto their children which i don't like, i'm against it. the children are human too, they can decided whatever they want in the future as a parent, we're served as a emotional support and give them advice about life and life lesson when they needed the most, not using the children as an extension of yourselves. Children are our future, it's up to them to decide their future and the parent only purpose is to guide them and teach them how to be a future leader for their generation, you can loved them and support unconditionally but something you gotta let them do their own thing and made their own decision.
@@DarthMalgusSith_Lord That's the whole point of the show. They're not glorifying it they're just showing that this is the reality and it has consequences on the children and society at large. It's a great show highlighting the problem. It really resonated with me as I am Asian.
@@bangersmash342 i take that back, after i finished watching that drama, i know the whole thing now, it's about the parent understanding and respecting their children decision and to teach us to take it easy in life rather than being short sighted and sacrificing your own happiness for someone else's happiness.
Omg i was waiting for you to talk about ko mon young she's so abusive she was harassing male lead in his workplace under the pretext of a disorder of the social personality and was obsessed with him when he clearly showed that he was uncomfortable with that i felt so uncomfortable watching the drama
Even though i love hotel del luna and vagabond you are right they shouldn't have kissed male leads i totally agree with you
Kdrama writer should be more careful and avoid this sexual assault like scenes
Yeah hahaha Ko mon young is pretty savage. It would be great to see her improve but unfortunately she stayed pretty much the same at the end of the show. I feel like it's okay to show people doing nonconsensual things on TV, but it's better if the writers show the consequences and character development
@@yuanProduction yeah you're right
I like your videos btw you have such an interesting content 💜💜
Which is why I couldn't even start to watch the show. People were praising her and all that but i found her to be stalker type very manipulative and frankly someone I don't wanna be around. I dont know how people just start liking such characters.
@@kanikagaral7637 it wasn't the character for me that attracted me to watch it but rather the concept of the drama,, it was about mental illness, overcoming them past trauma, everyone fighting them own battle, we shouldn't judge people etc , at the end of the story them are still learning to be better,, always look at the bright side,,there's a lot more meaningful/beautiful story line inside the drama that really worth watching it,,
Did people forget that she’s mentally unstable? Personality disorders are real and they do act that way which differs significantly from what is expected or “normal”. People aren’t comfortable because they expect a main character to act submissive and innocent. Spice of life isn’t for everyone.
THANK YOU. I hate how this kind of behaviour is lauded in women and they are called 'cool' and 'iconic'. The annoying thing about this kind of behaviour is that it usually doesn't even fit in with the characters' personalities. They make the female characters do this simply because it 'looks cute' or makes us ship the couple more. In fact, most abusive behaviour in kdrama characters (male and female) is done at the consequence of inconsistency in the characters. If the plots were more true to the characters no such thing would have happened. I wish the plot and character arcs were given importance over kdrama tropes.
It's okay to not be okay was very cathartic and healing to me, definitely one of my favourite shows ever because it helped me deal with my mental health and understand myself better. I found myself getting attached to every character, but Ko Mun Yeong's actions really threw me off and I still feel guilty for liking her. Her character does have a mean (and kind of bitchy lol) archetype which I understand given her backstory, but nothing justified her predatory behaviour. Honestly that part of her character didn't even make sense. I feel like the writers put it in because of the running idea that assault on men is a joke. It's stupid, and I don't feel like that part of the writing did justice to Ko Mun Yeong's character at all.
In my head, Ko Mun Yeong is still the same minus all her inappropriate behaviour lol. She is a great character, would've been perfect if the kdrama writers weren't so hell bent on using such toxic tropes and tainting the purity of their characterization with it.
Thank you for making this video!
Well It’s Okay Not To Be Okay, it’s kinda confusing, because she’s portrayed as a psycho, or having severe mental issues. So, it’s not clear if she’s supporting sexual acts.
yea thats what i thought.
Exactly! yes! she had a condition called “ASPD”
Her behaviors in the drama was never actually portrayed as normal. Most people around her are always weirded out with how she behaves sometimes
I mean the point of the show was that everyone had their own problems and made mistakes the problem I personally have is that once the female lead grew more as a person her past actions were never really talked about anymore and from what I remember she never apologized for all the manipulation, like just a sorry would have been enough
yeah that's why that show should not be in this video, she has ASPD(she disregards people's feelings) which is still wrong however because of that mental illness context there is a reason why she does that to him, but everyone watching the show should know it isn't okay that's the point of the show, i think they're talking about how people thought it was empowering of the her to do that when it isn't, but then again that's what the character arc is for IOTNBO
*Kissing someone when they r unconscious/asleep/or without their permission is straight up gross and predator behaviors. Personally speaking, if my crush kissed me while I was asleep, best believe I would wake up looking like donkey from shrek with the amount of rage that I will have even if I liked him. Face rubbing and all those touchy stuff is and can be seeing as forcing sexual tension*
I remember I was weirded out by Korean actor gong yoo’s movie I think it’s called “mr destiny” where the running joke is the ahjummas are attracted to him as they follow him around and the punchline was him getting groped secretly and him leaving upset. I was like wtf
ohhh you mean Finding Mr. Destiny? I haven't watched that one yet. I genuinely feel bad for ajummas, I feel like they've been used and their image is ruined by media lol
@@yuanProduction yes! “Finding Mr. Destiny.” I recommend it even tho it had its messed up moments. And I just realized the main leads had a moment exactly like how you explained in your vid. Where the female character sexually assaults and the male character just accepts it and actually ends up getting turned on and accepting the assault without repercussions to the female character.
It’s messed up that I was so used to such scenes that it didn’t pop up in my mind until I finished watching your analysis.🤦🏿♀️
This is so insightful. I think the culture has a role to play here as well. There was a South Korean guy I used to hang out with who once told me his mother beating him and his father was normal and that most Korean girls show physical violence like slapping and all towards their boyfriends. It's not seen abusive there at all, because when I pointed out the absurdity of it, he said, why, that's so common, not a big deal! Funny part was, he was immensely respective towards women and said he'd never do the same things to the girls, but the girls doing those things was somehow okay.
well yeah the main reason for these scenes is the culture there
I think adding IONTBO and Hotel de Luna is slightly unfair. In that one Hotel de Luna scene, she kissed him to distract him from the literal monster that was gonna kill him, and that bed scene has no sexual innuendo as she literally just wanted him to go to sleep so he could have a dream. As for IONTBO, Ko Munyeong's behavior is NEVER normalized throughout the show and actually she's shown to be too extreme and slightly psychotic, but it's important to note that she's supposed to be someone with an untreated personality disorder (not that this is an excuse, but if you've ever had any sort of relationship with someone with untreated mental illness- then you know this is not far from reality).
I really don't know why people don't get the main point of IOTNBO
@@sumayyahadetunmbi4347 It's really sad honestly. The show did such a great job at portraying mental illness and it just went over people's heads completely.
I agree though at the same times the memes, praises, and attentions in IONTBO (from what I’ve seen) are when she is harassing the ML. Plus being mentally ill doesn’t mean she wasn’t abusive, she was, because her illness made her abusive. thankfully the directors and writer wrote it well, but from all the memes and stuff you can see that many think that her acting up is cute and QuIrKy. I mean I didn’t watch the show cuz it’s not in my genre but the fact that the main couple ended up together after all that harassment (mental illness or not) irked me so I kinda stayed away.
@@valerie8679 fr! I was gonna comment the same thing. Munyeong was meant to be psychotic and the whole drama is the journey of her getting better.
Ko Munyeong has antisocial disorder tho
It's not really about male or female, it is more about the victim and perpetrator. And Perpetrators might not look like they are the perpetrator.
yes but it's usually romanticized more when it's a female abuser
In addition to being wrong and gross and perpetuating the idea than men can't be SA'd, I think having women "act like men" also really helps with the whole "feminism is just sexism" argument a lot of people have. We really need to start portraying how forceful, agressive and violent behaviors affect _everyone_ regardless of gender
I literally couldn't even watch 'it's okay to not be okay' because of this, I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought it was problematic
Today's "strong female leads":
- a fucking Mary Sue that verbally abuses anyone that dislikes her or is not friends with her
- just has to be a super strong person but is actually just toxic
- will usually harass a male character
- any girl that enjoys being feminine and cute is bashed upon by the community for being "bitchy"
- the sole reason I despised the female lead in it's okay to not be okay is that she's so... Inhuman.
Alot of female leads have little to no weaknesses and zero vulnerability. I will take a feminine but vulnerable FL to someone like it's okay to not be okay any day.
that was the point tho... her character was supposed to be inhuman like
Run On is so underrated honestly.
I love it with all my heart ugh
Yeah because non-problematic characters and healthy relationships are not interesting 😓
yes! they were such a healthy couple.
@@kanyaanindita4461 i agree but there's so many ways you can have an interesting storyline AND have leads with a healthy relationship. Take vincenzo for example it has such an engaging story along with leads with a healthy relationship
thats a gem of a drama...
"Is ok not be ok" Is just horrible.romanticizes a relationship with a psychopath ... no it's not right ... She may have been through a lot in his life and that just means she needs therapy not a relationship.
I actually like it’s okay to not be okay, she definitely had some sort of personality but the ML always knew that even since childhood. He’s also a psychiatric professional it’s not like he can’t recognize what’s happening. I think the FLs saving grace and reason why their relationship works is how she was able to become best friends with their brother and fit into their family dynamic.
Oh My Ghost was genuinely hard to watch at times because she was assaulting the male lead half the show. It just made me uncomfortable. I do really respect how they portrayed bipolar disorder though. Him saying she has no control over it and she will be healthy on medication instead of calling her crazy is such a big cultural shift for Korea, I really respect it
FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT !! Men too can be SH victim and women can be the perpetrators! These characters are not "savage strong" female characters, they're actually abusive, rude, disrespectful and s3xual harassers, but the industry romanticizes such behaviors.
There are these side characters in Hi Bye Mama, they're a married couple and the female is older. Their relationship is basically the wife physically abuses the husband, there's this scene where she literally beats him up and yelled at him in public as a comedic relief, and I was like "wtf?"
Every time I see those “multi fandom badass female leads” edit video I just feel so weird seeing the ladies abuse the meant sexually and be praised by it. Like imagine if that was a male lead doing that to a female, the movie will most likely be banned from Korea stations like mnet and kbs 🤦♀️
that point you made at the end of "we have to question what strong really means" is so true! it reminds me that surface level feminism wants men and women to be equal, even when it means women taking on the same toxic roles as men. In actuality we should focus on dismantling the patriarchy so that these power dynamics are not enforced between any gender
I loved Oh My Ghost but when Bo Young’s character was possessed, it was hard to watch. The best part was that he did point out that awful behavior and truly liked her character when she was herself, not a sex obsessed ghost that used other women to assault (and accidentally hospitalize) several men.
Yeah the sexual harassment was hard to watch but at least they called that shit out. Tbh I mainly watched that drama for the sweetheart dad who reminds me a lot of my late maternal grandpa
@@alyssapinon9670 he was a highlight of the show!
@@werewolffaerie1 I actually watched the Thai remake with my family since my grandma only knows Thai and English and can’t read subtitles. And the actor in that one REALLY looked like my grandpa too so my mom and I were just crying our eyes out. I’m sure that when I go to watch the original Korean one on my own I’m gonna be crying all over again
On a side note I really liked a Cordon (he went by another name in the remake) but watching clips on TH-cam their characters are exactly the same. My grandma said he was very respectful which was cute. So the second male lead and the dad have my heart
@@alyssapinon9670 I've been meaning to watch the Thai remake. I was rooting for Cordon the whole time, even when I rewatched it. The main lead was such a narcissist; I enjoyed the show but there were times I wanted to stop watching. Dramas are better when they have believable characters in them that you can connect with. I am sorry for your loss, grandparents are irreplaceable.
@@werewolffaerie1 thank you 😊 Oh my Ghost brought up a lot of repressed feelings/memories but it was a nice way to remember my grandpa.
Plus now that I am part of more of these communities I can see that I’m not alone in my feelings. I was rooting for Cordon too and was disappointed that the FL ended up with the ML. That’s when I first learned what second lead syndrome was 😂 😭 . Plus in addition to having a better personality than the main lead, Cordon wasn’t any less handsome. so I was just scratching my head at why she didn’t choose him and why (at least in the Thai version) he didn’t at least end up with some other character. Wasted potential
At 6:00 if there are any males watching this video ....please remember that if a women forces you like that , you have full authority to SLAP her . A man can SLAP a women if she is wrong
This serves as a great guide of what dramas to avoid, lol. But seriously, amazing video. It's extremely well thought out and put together. What you've said is true not just in kdramas, but in any kind of media as well as real life situations.
Let's hope that one day we can watch shows in which no one is hitting, grabbing, or suddenly kissing anyone. As for real life, I think videos like yours are a great way to explain the concept to others and gain a more concrete understanding of why certain things are considered acceptable, even when they shouldn't be. Thank you so much!
Thank you! Yeah, I feel like if writers put these kind of scenes on TV, they shouldn't overly romanticize it. Yes, people make mistakes in datings / socializing, and it's okay to make mistakes, but show the actual consequences when female/male leads making other people feel uncomfortable. Let's hope for more variety on TV together hahaha
@@yuanProduction i am so glad i discovered you. your videos have changed the way i watch drama and the way i see a relationship.
@@darynafaichak2003 aww! thank you for saying that!
There are a few dramas already that have healthy relationships like Run on ,Flower of Evil, Crash Landing on You and Start Up in my opinion
@@juanchoresultay2704 I heard the guy in Start Up was toxic
Well...
There is one manhwa that the 'Nuna' got drunk and and had sex with a 18 year old boy who was drunk. The aftermath was that she got pregnant and did not tell him. Even when the guy tried to do the right thing and be a father, she would berate him and doesn't acknowledge him as a man.
Eventually, she would come around and 'date' him and even marry him. But throughout the entire comic, not once told him that she loved him or show him any kind of love.
That kind of broke me.
This video should get more recognition because this shows how man also get sexual assault... I don't know why people don't understand that being strong doesn't mean to show your intimate side being strong mean the people around you feel safe they can do whatever they want without being afraid... I love every second of your video the other day I was taking to my cousin's about if we changed the gender in some dramas people will hate the male lead and here you show that...this video is gem ✨✨✨
This must be a hit on the stomach for all male who have been victims of any kind of sexual assault. Remember guys, consent is everything and if a girl keeps insisting they are in the wrong not you
thanks for this! Its one of the main reasons why kdramas like something in the rain and Vincenzo are so appealing to me because both parties have consent and respect towards each other. The female leads are strong and can stand up for themselves without degrading and embarrassing the male lead.
I haven't watched all the dramas. However, I really felt the girl in It's Okay Not To Be Okay isn't cool or strong. Anyway, I never felt the same for the girl from Hotel Del Luna. All the scenes mentioned here had a different purpose. When the kiss happened the girl was trying to divert his attention otherwise a ghost would have literally killed the guy. None of them were attracted to each other at that point in time. The bed scene had double meaning .. one can take offense there .. but, the girl was forcing him to sleep so that he can have a dream .. she has no intention of having sex with him and he knew it. I won't argue if someone finds it harassment .. everyone has their own set of rules to judge an action .. here I just felt the intent was clear to both men and women, so, we can term it powerplay (in the second case) but not sexual harassment.
the fl in iotnbo was not mentally stable which explains her insensitive and crazy acts unlike other dramas... its kind of similar in oh my ghost... the ghost thinks the only way she can leave the world is by losing her virginity... its not like she was a sexual offender as a human...
Totally agree with you on the Hotel Del Luna part.
Lol I see you guys don't under the drama it's okay not to be okay at all. The actions and behaviors of the female lead was never portrayed to be normal. And she wasn't said to be a good person. She has a disorder and does what she wants. But the main point of the drama is showing her gradual character development and she helped the male lead face his traumatic past and grudges he had and also seeing life in a new perspective
Replace the words “guy” and “girl” and you’d be mad mad. It doesn’t matter the intentions, the kiss without his consent is still not okay.
@@PVDofc no not in this case. At least not when a ghost can kill the person and the kiss (which can be termed which looked like kiss but wasn't really) can save the life.
i always cringe when someone's being described as 'badass' 😭 i don't know why. but anyways, people need to start seeing that behavior like this coming from both men and women is not okay. don't just hold men accountable for it when women are just as capable of doing this, which some do. women empowerment is not about being above someone else and degrading them, it's about having a voice, making your own individual decisions, being independent, and having EQUALITY.
THANK YOU. I was so uncomfortable watching the first few episodes of 'It's Okay to Not Be Okay' and kept wondering why no one talked about how problematic that was!
Totally agree, I hope that soon this kind of behaviour star to show as bad as it is. I had also noticed the "wife abussive roal" that is clearly in Her private life (2019), Strong girl Bong-soon (2017) and in Navillera (2021). Also I feel unconfortable and sad about those male characters that can't say no because they had to act like a "man" but What is that?
thank you for this video. several times assault against men gets neglected and brushed up as girl power. thats bs. "girl power" doesnt mean harassing or beating up innocent men. it means to be aware your rights and when they get violated you take action
Im so so so glad you addressed this issue. I often feel uncomfortable with these characters but everyone else goes like"yass queen "and "shes so badass" so I generally stay quiet. I love you for this.
Girls being a bitch to a guy and hitting him is suddenly “standing up for herself and fighting back” yet if a guy told a girl off that deserved it or actually tried to defend himself everyone would cry it’s abuse
sad thing is, most men don't even realize they've been sexually assaulted
This video reminds me of a video I saw years ago where the video essay was on male r*pe as presented in Hollywood films and how it’s almost always used as a comedic device. I think it stems from toxic masculinity and how when men are in vulnerable positions it is viewed as funny because we view them as the “dominant” sex but being in that position is bad for anyone and I personally have a Distain for that troupe because very harmful.
Yep I saw this coming, looking at the thumbnail. I watched It's Okay to not Be Okay around 2 months ago. I was attracted to the premise of a girl who is successful through her own hard work, and is allowed to showcase strong emotions. But I quickly realized that the show subscribes to a lot of the same stereotypical and frankly, sexist tropes, and the relationship between Munyeong and Gangtae is frankly pretty toxic. I appreciate that they ventured out of the normal kdrama formula, and at least tried to defy stereotypes, but there was not much thought put into it. I enjoyed the romance a bit but I guarantee if Seo Yeji and Kim Soohyun were worse at acting or had bad chemistry, a lot of this show's antics just wouldn't work. These dramas think that character development is just having the initially abusive female character get shouted at by the male character. And then in the end the male character gets abusive so there's a balance! Lovely. :(
The whole show was about mental health and the girl was actually a sociopath, I think the show managed to make it quite clear that the girl's behaviour wasn't meant to be praised. She becomes strong in the sense that she fights to recover from her past trauma, not for being toxic which is a consequence of her ASPD. And the interesting point is also that the whole angsty bit of the love story is around the unhealthy relationship these two are forming, that's pretty rare for a drama. What was getting in the way of their romance (aside from the whole family drama) was the toxic duo they were forming and they were aware of it.
@@mell4248 Pls I am baffled at how many don't actually understand the main points of the drama and what it was trying to say. None of the behaviors of the female lead was ever portrayed as being normal and okay. Why didn't people get this?
Well it shows that u clearly didn't get the message that the drama conveyed. İt showed mental illnesses and how disorders can shape a toxic personality but deslite being antisocial n having psychotic tendencies because of ger experience, Mun Yeong didnt shy away from those traumatic memories but embraced her dark self and tried to overcome it, Gang Tae knew fully well why she was like that n he accepted her despite that so please stop saying that doesn't have any meaning behind the whole show because GangTae accepted Mun Yeong in all her self (dark, psycho yet strong enough to become better version of herself) because clearly 'Normal' people are so much more selfish that they only accept the good side of a person but they disregard their dark side!
@@sumayyahadetunmbi4347 but why did they still end up together? That's not good
@@summaiyasafdar5168 It's not good that he accepted her, people shouldn't accept their partner's toxic behaviors. Let's not romanticize that
"It's ok to not be ok" was sooo uncomfortable even for me as a girl! She was so aggresive, it was disgusting! I dropped the drama after 3-4 ep. I just couldn't bare to watch it anymore.
you must not be getting the point of the drama…. they change at the end, they both have trauma and they heal eachother. it’s not that hard to understand
"it’s not that hard to understand"- Please don't imply that I am stupid! And just because you liked it and could follow it, that does not invalidate MY experience with it! I didn't like it! It gave me anxiety when she screamed and followed him around like a psycho!@@irisem
Used to find these stuffs funny when i was younger around 15. As my conscience grew, i couldn't help but get disgusted by the acts the women in dramas or movies do to men. Recently was watching Devil Judge and grew extremely uncomfortable by how the rich women were swarming Gaon when he went to the party, touching him and forcing him to take off his coat. In another scene, Yohan was kidnapped by the villain lead, forcefully kissed and touched by her several times. But it's all okay right cause a man is the one going through that.
same, when i was younger and watching “oh my ghost” i didn’t see it as sexual harassment
but now when i’m older i notice every abusive behavior when watching kdramas and other media
OMG yesssss, Sun-Ah's actions were completely unacceptable... if we switched the genders it suddenly becomes super clear how wrong it is :(
@@hrithikakar4217 she straight up harassed him everytime she saw him meanwhile advocating for injustice and sexual harrasment against women.
@@ananya3004 Yesss and some people are passing it off as "Badass" and "Powerful"; it's awful how at first I didn't notice how disgusting it is for her to do that, but now I realised it's super wrong and hypocritical
@@FruityHachi yeah same
7:45 Every Kdrama ever is "We met in childhood. You were nice then. Therefore I love you now.".
😂😂😂😂😂
Sexual Harassment from woman are just as bad as Sexual Harassment from man... Either can give physically and mentally damage. It's the most inappropriate and disgusting behaviour where it breach the boundary of excessive manner... That's why it is the most disturbing thing when this were showing in drama or any type of media platform...
For it's okay to not be okay, it's a tough case because it's self-aware that the main character is practicing abusive behaviors but it's true that the tone is comedic when displayed. The drama is more complex in the sense that it's obvious why Gang Tae is attracted to her in the first place, it's what he's used to. Being the "fixer" of the dysfunctional. I think the drama did a lot of things well such as addressing the role of childhood trauma in a person's current life but it still pushed the idea that Mun Young needed that one person to finally understand her and "fix" her instead of her being like "hey, I'm really a bitch, why, maybe I should fix that about myself", she was very dependant on him to fix her. I think this drama was a missed opportunity to discuss people's abusive tendency to deflect responsibility
Jang Manwol really shouldn't be in this video at ALL. First of all, the two scenes you put here are taken out of context as some other people have already mentioned (The kiss was a way to distract him from a monster that would literally kill him if he looked at it, and that bed scene has no sexual innuendo in the slightest as she literally just wanted him to fall asleep and dream). And second of all, she's literally a character who protected Changsun all throughout the series, she literally gave him so many chances and opportunities to leave and free himself of the eventual hurt that being with her might bring him.. she often thought of his wellbeing above hers, and would never do anything to intentionally hurt him. So I just think putting her in a video about "Female sexual offenders" is incredibly unfair to her character.
Yes
Exactlyyy
I agree 100%
I get what you said. She's not one of those fem sexual offenders but regardless of whether sexual feelings involved or not, she still made the man uncomfortable and scared. So, we shouldn't really let that slide.
@@overtiredcuh i don't understand what you mean this video was made for calling out offenders not women who make men scared
in The Devil Judge, Jung Sunah is a great example of this. She's portrayed as this strong female villain who was sexually abused, so now she's shown as empowered and has basically been beating, controlling her abuser and has been protecting other female victims from harassment. However, she's also obsessed with the male lead (Kang Yohan) and has harassed him multiple times and kissed him without his consent and he always rejects her advances.
Finally someone praise her
I'm glad you included "Because This Is My First Life". That drama was refreshing and more realistic than most dramas. I don't really watch a lot of K-dramas because of the toxic females leads portrayed as "strong and confident". (This is why I don't like watching jo yiseo in Itaewon Class, she's too toxic and it annoys me that people see her as strong and conficent.)
Finally, someone called this out… No matter the gender, unless they have fast reflexes, no one can avoid a sudden kiss. I thought it was getting good with fighting females, but instead of getting neutral, we are just switching genders. After a century or something, this issue would be raised again and it would be an endless loop at this rate. Hah…
Love this video. I agree to all points you made and I actually found myself getting sad for all males who has to keep quiet because no one takes their sexual harassment and assault seriously.
Few k-drama with strong not abusive female leads : Tale of the nine tailed, strong woman do bong soon, graceful family, vagabond, healer, law school, flower of evil, etc.
something in the rain? you’re kidding right
she was hitting him, or threatening to beat him or she pulled his ear
he even said in regards to her and his sister “you guys are so abusive”, and when they got together she acknowledged that she was constantly hitting him and he said that it’s ok because he’s used to it
@@FruityHachi is it fine now I haven't watched the full thing, sorry
Y'all really always left out Mr.Sunshine 😭
@@zhasyane I am sorry I haven't seen it yet. But its gonna be my next one
I've literally never laughed at these scenes and I've found them quite disturbing as well. The Itaewon class one is just the clichè of people kissing loved ones while they sleep bc they're too scared of revealing their feelings, so i had no reaction to it, but that girl pinning that guy on the bed and saying "think i'm crazy, it will be easier for you this way"?? That was DISTURBING i have shivers down my spine
i’m so glad that you made this video. this was always a problem i saw in kdramas and i hated it since i’ve personally experienced it from both genders. but all my friends always write off these female harasser scenes as hilarious and awkward and when the men do it, they are always disgusted
it’s so crazy how sexual assault and even body shaming is so normalized in dramas and tv shows in korea to the point where it’s now comedy to them :/ very sad
Im horrified. It was.. uncomfortable to say the least. When i had pointed out the sexual harrasment of the men in some dramas, i always got called out , being said stuff like "oh youre probably a virgin" "you just hate that women are ruling" like are they dumb assess? Wheres that "feminism"?or does it only apply if its a woman being harrassed.😐
Thank you so much for making this video. Nowadays I feel like literally every kdrama I watch has at least one female character abusing a male, be it the lead or her mother or her best friend - and I am so sick of it. Men don’t deserve to be treated that way any more than women deserve to be portrayed that way. We don’t have to be hateful to be strong. And men don’t have to be victims to be soft.
I commented on Twitter after the first two episodes of a *certain show* about how disappointed I was that the lead female kissed the lead male without his consent (they were literally strangers to each other at the time), and the actress’ fans took some kind of personal issue with it and I got lambasted for disliking her character. Even though it had literally nothing to do with the actress herself; I had explicitly stated how the writers should have done a better job at least setting up the act as something bad, instead of funny and cute. The worst part was that I had to deal with the fans’ lengthy essays defending what was genuinely sexual assault. It was horrifying and saddening.
A drama or a movie can make anything look the way they want it to with a catchy story and background music. They want a rich, arrogant and mean character to be the main lead - give them a sad past story. They want the male lead to show abusive behaviour but make it look like true love - Make the male lead protect the female lead from deadly situations like kidnapping, etc. Want the female character to show abusive behaviour but get away with it- add comedy music or make it a "middle aged woman". Also the 'begins as a surprised/ forced kiss but ends up being a both way kiss" is a very common way to make the audience feel like it's fine.
The good thing is that now people are talking against what's right and wrong.
This is amazing video and thank you for compiling this. Tired of abusive women being hailed as badass. Women can be badass without being abusive, one recent drama i saw where the female lead was a boss but never abusive. Hong cha young from Vincenzo. She’s always respected space and apologised whenever she’s touched without consent. I really appreciated how she realised that the other person might feel uncomfortable with physical gestures and apologised for it. Even with her intern she wasn’t handson touching etc. this was right on top of my head lol. There are many cool boss women who aren’t abusive.
That scene in It's Okay not to be Okay always bothered me. I was watching the drama while it was airing and was disappointed no one pointed out how disgusting Moon Young acted, instead they said that it was such a "mood".
Looks like the show is not okay
@@deadinside8719 lmao, ba dum tss
Exactly! For some reason they see nothing wrong with it. I don’t understand why they don’t see that it’s sexual harassment. They know for sure if the gender role was switched that they would be OUTRAGED! Like, literally use your brain for a sec. what’s wrong is wrong. Don’t go around groping someone’s chest, no matter your gender.
I pointed out how problematic Ko Munyeong is once and the fans replied to me with "Well, she has a mental condition so she is not familiar with personal boundaries" um mental illness is not an excuse to be a creep lol. I can get behind that she is not a normal girl. What I don't like is how everyone praises her actions, when she should not be praised.
@BLINK! PINK!. Ngl when u put it that way it puts the show in a different perspective lmao. The scenes where she actively manipulates gangtae using sangtae just felt so uncomfortable, and im someone who has a sibling w a mental condition as well
Yay! You’re back! Have you seen Sexual Assault Played for Laughs by Pop Culture Detective? It’s all the same issues but with an American perspective. And honestly, it’s not all that different. Patriarchy seems to be very similar in SK like in the States, at least in this type of media portrayals.
In Its Okay to Not Be Okay, The main female lead had a lot of trauma to work through, but the show didn’t do a good job of her taking responsibility for the things she did. Her rage and need for control almost seemed like a plot device instead of a part of her character. She is still a horrible person by the end of the series in my opinion. 🤷🏻♀️
I love Because this is My First Life. It’s so very sweet. I might rewatch the last episode over and over again…on a regular basis! I just love the characters and the way romance was treated. I thought it handled sexual assault well. Not perfectly but well enough.
Can’t wait to see more of your vids!
I agree with you for koo mon young
Idk why people are so obsessed with her
Yes! I like Pop Culture Detective! His video essays are amazing! Yeah, honestly the issues are similar. But there are more raping scenes conducted by female perpetrators in US dramas and films to exaggerate the absurdity of male victims being harassed. I guess if Korean dramas have that, it would probably be banned lol
I agree with what you said about it's okay to not be okay. As a female lead like that, I was expecting to see some character development along the way, but that's not the case for this show. There is one scene in the later episode in which she asked Moon Gang tae to not wear the suit cause it looks too good on him. In the end she is still very controlling, and their relationship is based on Moon Gang tae "healing" her, which is very unfair.
I like Because This Is My First Life too! Also Run On! Haven't watched many recent ones but these two are pretty awesome!
omg, i watched this video, Sexual Assault Played for Laughs, I never imagined that I would feel disgusted by a video.
@Hyonsan Kim I’m also really glad those two break up. It’s not always healthy to be in a relationship when your in that situation.
*omg thank you for addressing this topic I’m getting sick and tired of kdrama fans glorifying these characters and behaviors*
This is such an educational video about female offenders. Thank you for piling those dramas for us to learn about not to be stereotyped on this particular crime. Such a genius to create this video. Awesome work!
I could not watch Its okay not to be okay because of the assault - it disgusted me that people were not calling the character out and encouraging it! She was abusive in real life too (the actress) but literally, MOST international fans were like, 'oH wELL - everyone makes mistakes' OR 'stiLL LovE hEr'. Wdym, what would you do if the roles were reversed? Why are people enabling this behavior? So disappointed in our society, 1 step forward and 10 steps back. So many males don't report their assault, because as a society, we enable sexual assault against males.
I'm glad this video exists , we should point out when we (woman) are the one making a mistake too , and more importantly when it's the same mistakes we don't want males to do. Some actions are wrong no matter Wich gender does it.
ko moon young was quite problematic at times but she had great character development imo . if you compare her to jo yi seo and jang man wol she's a lot better i love strong female leads but i found yi seo to be extremely annoying and toxic at times ... others strong non-toxic female leads are seo dal mi from start-up , women is search www , kang soo jin from mother , go ae shin from mr sunsine , jiwon - flower of evil etc
Pushing someone else down in order to lift yourself up is a sign of weakness and bad character, not of strength - no matter who is doing the pushing.
So we can easily say there is abuse from both sides in Korean dramas. And the worst thing is that these "strong women" become abusers, that's not progressive. It is the same.
I can't believe their are actually women like you who actually speak up about this problem. I remember watching the sexual harassment scene of its oaky not to be okay and commenting how what the woman was doing was sexual harassment. People called me snowflake for that. I am thankful more and more women are understanding how male sexual harassment is equally unacceptable...
I hate how people use the word “snow flake” to get away with doing things they even know is wrong or supporting things they know aren’t right…
I love “It’s Okay to not be Okay,” but that scene was obviously a double standard. I wish it didn’t happen honestly.
I was a bit shocked when I saw it too but after watching the whole series I realized that her actions were meant to be toxic and that was a part of it. It wasn't okay (pun intended) and it was text book definition abusive, and that is the character that she portrayed, especially at that period in her development. I do sometimes wish that showed her having some sort of consequence for that, but I also understand that she does not have a normally/ healthily developed mind due to her disorder and that was a result of it. She is a victim herself, and it doesn't justify her actions but it does explain why she acted the way she did.
The FL in "Beauty Inside," too! There was a old guy (pedophile) who touched a young girl (student) inappropriately, saying that she "reminded him of his daughter," obviously making her feel very uncomfortable. The female lead in K-drama, "Beauty Inside," saw this and exacted her revenge(?) by patting the guy's butt, saying that he "reminded her of her dad." She did this in front of the press, photographers, business-people, as she was an actress. The scene shocked me. There could have been better ways for her to point out or call attention to his inappropriate behavior. o_o
I love how you put the video, just pointing out where we are going wrong and what needs to be changed. Thank you so much! I hope many sexual victims (male) speak up for them after watching this.
I think that is part of the problem in Korea. Male or Female, the system seems to dismiss the issue, sweep it under the rug. Men harassed are afraid of being seen as weak and women harassed are victim blamed. From police investigators to the laws to the social pressure-it all leads to victims droppings the charges.
this makes me sad, it's not talked about enough. Thank you for making this video, both female and male victims deserve to be heard. I've noticed this in a lot of recent popular kdramas like the ones you showed(True beauty, It's ok to not be ok, Itaewon Class, etc.) and it's sad how many people romanticize them and love the shows. It makes me hesitant to watch them, and it's sad because I was interested in watching them but I probably won't anymore. They need to stop using this for comedy or romance, they should show how it affects the guy in a negative way like giving him trauma, instead of making him like it eventually.
14:14 - 14:36 That kind of scene also happens a lot when the genders are reversed. A guy forcefully kisses a woman and even though she resists at first as the kiss goes on she starts getting into it and reciprocates. I find it problematic in both versions. It implies that you can force someone to like you back if you're just insistent enough and completely disrespect their boundaries, which is... yikes. "She/He secretly wanted it, I just had to make him/her see that" already sounds like something a sex offender would say to justify what they did.
Something about this feels like lazy writing on the scriptwriter's part. "Instead of a man being super forward and borderline SA, what if it was a woman?" All they did was flip the script and they think they did something good. There's so much more to female empowerment than that. Male characterization deserves better as well. KDramas are a great opportunity to teach about consent and proper romantic advances. Instead, they do this.
This is beyond overlooked and is an extremely important discussion. Thank you for discussing this topic!