Star Trek: Beyond Stupidity
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024
- Set phasers to Drunk as I review the third (and hopefully final) movie in the rebooted Star Trek series - Star Trek Beyond.
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I’ve never gotten over J. J. Abrams telling Jon Stewart that he didn’t like Star Trek as a franchise because it was too philosophical. Right then, I knew all his Trek films were going to suuuuck.
I'd forgotten that, good recall. You just need a few more "u" 's in suuuuuuuuck.
mst3kharris wait, the guy who uses mystery boxes aka people's imagination to insert spectacle into his creations finds the pondering of said creative tool vexing? Guess he really is a hack.
That would be fine. It is a universe, explore what the director is good at. The star trek franchise is not the enterprise. That is the problem. Imagine if he gave us an 80's action flick entirely with TNG Klingons, or a Tarantino Klingon movie. Imagine a serenity/cowboy bebop like show with ferengi. Just a rag tag group of aliens trying to make a living on the edges of the semi communist utopia of the federation and the hyper capitalism of the ferengi, with some action scenes with Klingon mercenaries. Just make some characters and the show writes itself, but most importantly leaves the rest of the franchise un violated.
Yea, that should have forced him off the project. For some stupid reason I own all 3 movies but I can't even make myself watch them they're so horrid.
It's like that scene from VHF where the girl picks the mystery box and there's nothing inside. That's what watching an Abrams movie is like now. YOU SO STUPID!!!! LOL
Why the hell does the Federation keep giving Kirk ships?
"Congratulations, Kirk. Destroy just one more Enterprise this month and you're promoted to Admiral!"
Destroy 4 starships, get the 5'th one free.
Maybe they have a secret alien planet that has 1,000 Enterprise ships just waiting to be unleashed, ala Star Wars.
@@bill392 hell, the 3rd one came with a free icecream cone
It's just like juhjabrums career
Didn't they give him the Admiral's job but he turned it down?
We never recovered from the writers strike and even after all these years, hollywood still thinks they don't need to pay for competent writers.
Without good writing, you have terrible movies. Agree 100%.
I never really thought about that. You're probably right....
Shit.
Actually, I've heard the complaint is agents and other middle men over charging and pricing themselves out. The good writers are abandoning the system because they aren't getting paid, their agents are taking it all. So only those middle ground or desperate writers are left to fill the gap.
100 million on a movie, 2 bucks for the script
@@rifz42 Exactly. Plus, often it's a wannabe auteur director who pulls stuff out of their behind and calls it a screenplay.
The funny thing is, even George Takei (in a rare moment of clarity) criticized the decision to make Sulu gay in Star Trek Beyond
It just seems so unnecessary in a spacefaring universe where they could literally invent any kind of character they want with any kind of sexuality they can dream up--even bizarre alien stuff. It just takes the viewer right out of the story, because you know they're only doing it to score some brownie points with a particular crowd in the real world. The illusion is broken as the puppet master dangles the strings right in front of you.
Ironically, making that change transforms Sulu from a character into an effigy--a totem for their ideology. It diminishes, rather than enhances both the character and the story.
That scene is why I will not buy the movie
George Takei said, " Oh myyyyyyy, too gay."
Because no matter what, he loves that character like we do. You know - staying faithful to how he was originally written and not used as a cheap doormat to the house of representation 🤦♂️
@@nathanpierce7681 Before calling an argument “dumb”, you should probably take the time to make sure you understand it first.
Having a gay character isn’t immersion-breaking. Changing a character’s sexuality at the eleventh hour with no explanation-making it obvious that it was done just to push “the message”-that is immersion-breaking.
They have introduced tons of new characters in new Trek. They could have easily made any number of them gay. Sulu was never gay, and he was even something of a lady’s man at times. The only reason they chose to break the gay ice with Sulu was because of the actor, not because of the character. It wasn’t just a revelation about Sulu-it was a contradiction of what we already knew about him. It’s like they thought George Takei had somehow been mistreated by asking him to play a straight character, and they had to “make it right.”
For an example of how this can be done well, take Cortez from Mass Effect. When we first meet him, he’s mourning the death of his husband. He’s obviously gay, but he’s not there to lecture the player about “the message.” He actually goes through a very sympathetic character arc about dealing with grief. He’s a well-written character that improves the story rather than distracting from it. Gay Sulu does the opposite-and the big “reveal” scene is even played like a gotcha moment; as if the writers were telling the audience, “ha! You probably assumed he had a wife-bigots!”
That’s the difference. Literally nobody is complaining about gay characters, so please put that straw man to rest. It’s lazy and tired.
When Leonard Nimoy was directing Star Trek 5, the head honchos wanted him to sacrifice story in favor of new flashy special effects. "Star Trek isn't about special effects, it's about the story," he told them. How times have changed.
Shatner directed 5. Nimoy directed 3 and 4. ;)
@@codyw1 He directed 3, too?!
@Dark Matter You know, no one ever says, "It was a really good story, but I hated the episode because of the poor practical effects." Good writing can survive technical issues; technical mastery can never rescue bad writing.
Star Trek was ALWAYS about the story and the fact that violence and aggression were only to be used as a means of last resort (Specter of the Gun). The writing is bad and the stories are awful because very few of today's writers can write about nothing new; it all has to be plagiarized and even then, it's been done far better by for more talented people.
@@Xeronex Except when Kirk and that one Klingon(I think it was one of the big 3 Ks we see in DS9) were very adamant about fighting each other because they couldn't take the hint to just chill the hell out and think things over for a.... oh wait...
*Every. Single. Alien.* in this looks like a rip off of Alan Rickman in Galaxy Quest
Star Trek aliens are literally Rick and Morty aliens but Unironically stupid.
Which itself looked like a rip-off of Star Trek.
@@ominous-omnipresent-they Its an homage - its _literally_ supposed to
@@ToadJones Well, Dr Who aliens are sort of like Star Trek aliens, but in floating trashcan form.
Well, yeah. This isn't XCOM, Alien, or Metroid. Were you expecting an alien to actually look the part?
The Enterprise is "overcrashed". In the original movies, it was a one-time thing, It was a watershed moment, because everyone knew and loved the Enterprise. It's been done so much now, that it means nothing at all.
I agree. It was a heart-wrenching moment when the Enterprise crashed in the originals. Now the crew get through Enterprises faster than supermarkets get through toilet paper in a pandemic.
If our British naval captains were getting through aircraft carriers at the same rate, they'd get retired off double-quick.
At least the first time it was part of a clever maneuver to turn a hopeless situation around.
I remember when it was crashed in the original film it made the newspapers, it was such a big shock. People were stunned, the Enterprise was another character, it was like killing off Scotty or Uhuru.
Yea I am not sure but didn't the ship blow up in every new movie now? It at least felt that way
@@hulmhochberg8129 I think the initial destruction was so effective in how audiences reacted they now think it adds drama and excitement. All I think now is Star Fleet must have a space hanger full of spare Enterprises.
Dear Drinker, I would like to thank you for putting me on the path to enlightenment. I took the money I saved by not watching anything from Hollyturd for the last five years and bought a bottle of 15 year old Scorch. Well done!
Lololol
5:30 Even George Takei objected to Sulu being gay, saying something to the effect of, "Just because *I'm* gay, that doesn't mean the character I played *has* to be _gay_ ! That's just insulting."
He's right, its blatant pandering and unnecessary in a Sci fi adventure story.
It's not a romance, the characters sexuality is irrelevant.
It is relevant because today idiots from the left keep pushing for representation. "How can he play a gay, he was never gay!" "how can she play trans female she is straight!" "how can he play disabled, there are enough disabled people to play one" and so on. America allows that to happen each and every day.
@@zrider100z I mean, there's really not much you can do outside of protesting it with your wallets and critique it. Or simply create art and get more involved in the culture. I hate it as much as the next guy, but in the end. It's just a movie.
5:31 Even George Takei objected to Sulu being depicted as gay. Saying:
" _Unfortunately_ , _it’s_ _a_ _twisting_ _of_ _Gene’s_ _creation_ , _to_ _which_ _he_ _put_ _in_ _so_ _much_ _thought_ . _I_ _think_ _it’s_ _really_ _unfortunate_ ."
Make That Fictional Character into a Flanderized Version of Takei.
4:14 🤣🤣🤣
Movies today are required to meet the woke quota. If it doesn't exist then it gets slammed for _______(insert phobia here).
"Oh, my!"
Yeah, when Orange Man Bad George is being the voice of reason, you know you’ve fucked up.
That awkward moment where you realize the only reason the heroes can succeed is because the villain effectively forgot where he parked his ship...
Hahaha nice The Voyage Home reference
"Admiral Chain Smoker" had me rolling!
The Expanse TV show has a lot of her in it...
@@josephiudice8287 She really doesn't have much nuance as an actor. Her niche was something like she did in the 24 series with Kiefer Sutherland.
Was literally just going to comment this
@@rodnabors7364 IDK, The Expanse certainly played to her strength. She was pretty believable as a driven politician with both a messiah complex and an ultimately justified paranoia.
@@rodneyhershkowitz4055Ditto
“Sabotage” was JJ foreshadowing his handling Star Trek, Star Wars and DC franchises.
JJ is the impostor
To be fair, that far into the future, beastie boy would be considered as "classical" music.
What did JJ do to DC? Legit don't know.
He probably thought it would be an Intergalactic Sure Shot but people just ended up Body Movin the hell out of the theaters.
😂😂
"Don't believe them. Don't trust them."
"They are dying."
"Let them die!"
*"does that mean we get to keep all their stuff afterwards?...asking for a friend*
"Are you afraid of the future?"
@@Deridus - "I believe that was the general idea that I was trying to convey."
I see what you guys are doing here.
@@tanisdevelopment I don't mean this future
My favourite part is that the villain's motivation is to get revenge because no one found his crew stranded in unknown space when that is literally a hazard of the job.
Yeah, considering the main villain was a career soldier before starfleet, so you'd think he understood the risks to begin with.
What is odd is that Scotty remarks about how "They're called starships for a reason." on the matter of atmo flight but he ignores the fact they had the Enterprise flitting about in the air AND underwater in the previous flick.
Considering how the Franklin has survived all this time and manages to kick ass far better and survive further damage compared to the Kelvin-prise, there certainly needed to be a more convincing explanation.
Many years after the end of WW2, a lone soldier was discovered in a remote jungle, still believing the war was still on.
He didn't turn against Japan....
@@neilgodwin6531 i doubt their life was easy after that though. It must have shifted his perspective on dedication to cause..
but maybe not cos seriously.. this person dug down and avoided contact and killing.. he might have maintained he was "fighting the war" but he mostly just avoided "enemies" and survived.. if he had been doing raids on towns he would have been found much earlier.
So probably after they just carried on doing mostly that. Ducking out of everything new and living by small means.
Disallusionment isnt exclusive. How many people join military forces thinking they will never actually get sent into battle and killed. Or think they are ok with it until they get shot or blown up and realise the country only sees you as ecpendable meat.. psychologically speaking.. turning against the peolple that sold you glory and delivered suffering isnt far fetched.
Especially if you felt wrongly burned becaude of the wrong motivation.
Yeah it had nothing to do with psychological effects of being stranded and morphing into an unrecognizable alien
The reviews of this movie, when it was released, made me realize there were no critics I could trust anymore.
This movie made me realize I can't trust Fandoms to respond to critics appropriately.
Grinding us down, as society. Look what it has led to, today...
*and everyone has done this, people snap out of it
never have been.
fake news. fake impeachments. fake reviews. They all hate the Critical Drinker for telling it as it is.
Convieniance, coincedence and contrivance. The cornerstones of 99% of modern Hollywood films.
Sulu is a romantic, a ladies man. In " The man trap" he talks to Janice Rand. In "The naked time" he swash buckles his way to the bridge, grabs Uhura and states, " Fair maiden" Uhura fights back as Spock has Sulu subdued.
See, a ladies man. NOT GAY.
@@johnbockelie3899 But this is an alternate universe where villain motivations are reductive nonsense and everything moves and shouts with the urgency of a reality show.
@@commandercaptain4664 This is what I was about to respond; but as much as I dislike them, these movies are literally fanfic, and don't matter.
I watch these because the Drinker is funny.
You know that’s not true!
@@colingznetworkplus4618
I know it is true.
"Ship destroys hostile fleet with Beastie Boys music" sounds like fanfiction written under the influence of LSD.
That would explain a lot about JJ and his movies.
So most fanfics?
(I'm not trying to trash all aspiring writers just look at good examples of writing in a universe you want to make a fanfic about then work within the standards of that universe instead of puling shit outta your ass)
… it does sound awesome though 😅
Yeah and using Beastie Boys? Well since their music was decades before this movie came out I guess you can’t call it pandering to the kiddies…but they’re still a commercial product. If “loud” music was required to defeat the enemy ships, why not use Sonic Youth, Hüsker Dü, Dinosaur Jr, Glenn Branca, or My Bloody Valentine, from the same general era? Oh yeah, they’re not nearly as well known for a potential soundtrack (and also much better, and would actually challenge, or unhinge (the point of using music in this scenario) listeners in the audience )
I think you mean LDS!
“…that guy who does the dumb car movies” 😂😂😂 no one has ever described that franchise better
Justin Lin
Indeed
This was the moment i gave the video a like 😅
Those movies are truly for the lowest common denominator in our society.
i love fast and the furious but that is pretty accurate
"...directed by That Guy that does the dumb car movies" --Best line of 2020.
Christoph Lehman you get a stupid car movie... In space!
The movies got bad when they stopping focusing on real drag racing and became Avengers
I did not know this... Why did they not have Duane Johnson in this movie? LOLOLOLOLOL!
Frankly, I'd rather sit through those "dumb car movies" and anything from Star Trek and Star Wars that came out as of late.
At least those movies were self-aware and don't take themselves too seriously, at least not in the same way that the recent Star Trek stuff has been (disregarding the animated Rick & Morty ripoff), and I at least remember them, no matter how ridiculous they become.
And I'll freely admit to liking Fast & Furious both ironically and legitimately, without needing to sound like The Last Jedi apologists.
Justin Lin is the greatest action director. He's good doing car chases in action movies and his F&F movies are pretty good.
Starships really built to last, except when they go into battle with anything.
They just don't build 'em like they used to.
@@PupuTheMonkey You could say the same about the films.
You're totally right! As long as "built to last" doesnt mean "built to last a long time" but instead means "built to last against weapons specifically designed to destroy it" then I 100% agree with you.
Also the ships don't seem to have shields that actually do anything useful
@@morningstar9233 yeah, makes sense to me! 😂😂
"I didn't think it was possible to emasculate a starship"
Fucking hell, lol
Especially since ships are girls.
@9:00 McCoy provided all of the context needed for the scene (Wrath of Kahn) when the Enterprise is destroyed. "You did what you had to do, what you've always done. Turn death into a fighting chance to live."
No such dignity for the doomed ship under the SS (S--t Show) Abrams.
He must have forget about Femputer.
the NEW START TREK is just like the old START TREK... plus the SMELL of ASS.
" The theft, ....and destruction of the starship Enterprise..., Federation property......." Kirk was accused , his future in jeopardy .
Kelvin Kirk destroys a ship, they just make him another one. WTF ?.
If I remember correctly, Ensign Demora Sulu was introduced to Captain Kirk. He then wonders, how Sulu get the time to start a family. I think it was McCoy who told him that you always got time for the important things. Indeed, Hikaru Sulu has a wife and a daughter. But it seems that in this alternate universe, that's not the case.
Unfortunately, this is a different timeline (the so-called and disastrous Kelvin Timeline, because of the events in the first Jar Jar Abrams film).
Jar Jar Abrams being the lazy git that he is and more interested in lens flares and mystery boxes that go nowhere, he just retcon'd the whole TOS timeline, just so he can free himself of any deep writing and turn ST into Fast & Furious In Space 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
@@thecloudtherapist Ahaha ! Jar Jar Abrams ! I did not know this nickname, but it suits him well. This guy is a real disaster for the cinema.
@@jerrymail Don't forget about Ruin Johnson
@@thecloudtherapist So you're telling me that they *_replaced_* all the events and characters from the original Star Trek with this timeline, effectively erasing what's came before in the process ?? If yes, then it's criminal.
@@xminusone1 No ideas is another word for it
"This is Jayla - a strong, independent plot device" 😂
Drinker nails it as usual 🤣
Macguffin Sue
9/10 would bone. Higher brain disengaged. Lower brain engaged. Movie better, but cannot remember details. Clearly for the best... I thought that the movie started with her... And I know I watched the whole thing...
The fun thing is that, she could be a material for an interesting side story. As portrayed at first, she looks like a 6 ft bipedal sentient Mongoose, and he is supposed to be a superhuman...he could have her on his own side for cheap prize, hell, that's explained in TCD's critic ! Maybe she could even die into enemy fire for sparing him damage, that would make her own people / species GREAT ! Instead of that, the movie makers came up with useless talk. Stupid...
Not funny.
"Is there ever a scenario where the Enterprise DOESN'T get its ass kicked?"
THANK YOU! I swear, based on how the Enterprise does in combat, the Federation's primary construction material must be "well wishes"
Don't forget the explodium armor.
Why do people think this U-Boat with dildo engines is cool again?
@@brosephnoonan223 It's an U-BOAT with Dildo Engines.Very Nostalgic
XD
U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701 Constitution class "Thoughts and prayers"
Even George Takei hated that they made Sulu gay. And he’s a massive SJW irl.
It was SO UNNECESSARY and took some people right out of the movie, instead reminding you of Hollyweird force feeding us SJW rubbish.
@Betty Jentry No... not Kevin James!!
Did Takei really say that? Huh... kinda surprises me.
Give them in an inch, they'll take a mile, and they'll still complain.
@@syntaxusdogmata3333 Yeah, he wasn't happy about them changing Sulu's character. I think he enjoyed Sulu being a suave flirt. He basically said, "we need more gay characters in movies, but not my character"
14:44 So the starship still works. Wasn't Krala's whole deal that he was stranded on the planet? Doesn't "stranded" imply that that they have no way to get off the planet? But his ship still works, right?
Also how did he know the Enterprise had the artifact? How did he know Yorktown had been built?
would this not mean there engineer was s-it. yet able to make alien tec work ???
not even able to get a radio to work. by that crew must have been sooooo bad.
how did he get info about anything that was happening or had happened since they crash landed,
@@SethJL if i recall there was a little hint just after spock puts the artefact into storage that implies that someone is accessing the ships systems and computer files.
@@Colin_ Yes so many people forget that he has a terminal to access Starship files and logs.
JJ wasn't content with bringing down one insanely loved franchise. He wants to burn them all.
I'd say he just singed star trek, he napalmed star wars. Though I'm not a fanatic fan of either franchise - so I may not have the best ground for speaking of the subject.
@@ChristianSandviknes Fair enough. I do think the first Star Trek was very interesting and laid some cool groundwork. As a legit trekkie I was satisfied. It was the sequels and TV shows that finally buried it for me. Really sad to see where it went.
@@zonesproductions For me they were all watchable, though the first was the best - but nothing groundbreaking. Before watching it though, I wasn't biased against, or hyped for the movies - since I had very little interaction with star trek back then, so I may have missed a ton of references a true fan might have loved.
He’s remaking Harry Potter.
I’m kidding. But wouldn’t be surprised.
Some men just want to see the world burn 🔥 . In all honesty, JJ's main problem is trying to do things that are "cool" instead of trying to write an actual intelligent story.
The best part about the new Trek movies was Karl Urban as bones, they should have developed the relationship between the iconic trio of Kirk, Spock and McCoy
more with each film. Zoe Saldana was good as Uhura and Pine could have been a decent Kirk if he did not have JJ Abrams stink all over them.
It's weird that they pushed him into the background. It's been said over and over again that the trio was what made ST great and yet he took a backseat.
wat the fuck dude, thats billy butcher? but is it really???? he looks so different
Agreed. Most of the actors they picked are pretty good (though I'm not keen on Simon Pegg's Scotty). They messed up Uhura and Spock with that stupid love affair, completely out of character for both of them and damages both characters, but that was on the writers not the actors. The Bones/Spock/Kirk trio could have been great again with competent writing.
Society demonizes male bonding. It's been gaslighted as gay for decades. And it was a nice subversive touch to make the vulcan want the magical vajayjay - and cry a lot.
Karl Urban tried his best, alas...
A funny point is George made it clear the character Sulu wasn't gay even though he was..they ignored him.
Additionally, Sulu always showed interest in Uhura so he, not Spock would have been dating.
they subverted Spock's character to reinvent him. JJ is such a genius. give him SW. oh wait.
Do you think Sulu's husband gave birth out of his butt in the future?
@@atomiswave2 hmm..maybe they used the transporter and made a mini Sulu.
Sulu liking TOS Uhura is precisely why he didn't want this skinny, bitchy, bossy reboot of her. He hated her so much their one date turned him gay!
While Spock... well, you remember what a horrible person T'Pring was. Seems our half-Vulcan friend has a type.
@@stevenscott2136 Nah. Spock respected and was programmed to hunt out T'Pring. He never actually loved her.
Hey, just for kicks, hunt down a Memory Beta-grade not-canon but official novel called "Spock's World" by Diane Duane.
I've already given you enough to spoil it, but if you like Trek and original-Trek world-building, this book is worth it.
Having Avasarala as commander chainsmoker was easily the best part of the movie
In fairness, there doesn't seem to be evidence that her voice was the result of chain smoking, funny as it is. First time I heard it I thought she had bronchitis.
What was odd about her character was how her rank and position fit into the whole space station thing. Perhaps if they 'd had her say she was in nominal command due to the Space Stations head honcho being called away to Earth or something might have helped. I dunno. JJ could foul up fouling up a foul up thats for sure.
She also voices Admiral Rann in the Mass Effect series. Her voice actually works quite well for a quarion.
That “Sulu is gay” scene was so forced that I rolled my eyes.
I wish I would have just "rolled my eyes", I jumped off a balcony.
George Takei was quick to reject the idea that Sulu was now gay, saying it was not what Gene Roddenberry intended.
Even George Takei response was a bit political and I got the impression he was not fully on board.
@Deadpool *what impact does this gender preference reveal actually have to the crews surviving this attack?...why would anyone actually care?*
Sulu's gay by the way.
All sci-fi took a major downgrade when it became a trend for everyone
We also still have Legend of the Galctic Heroes. Of course, that's a 1980's anime with 110 episodes with political discussions about autocracy vs. democracy, dozens of characters and no dub, so...
Yeah, don't have to worry about anyone ruining that anytime soon.
@Benjamin McCann Villeneuve made the plain awful Fantasy that is Arrival and the massive disappointment that was Blade Runner 2049.
Alex Garland is the writer and director of the horror movie masquerading as Sci-Fi that is Ex Machina and the frankly stupid Annihilation!
Neither have made a good Sci-Fi movie yet!
@@franohmsford7548 ... Couldn't you still Ex Machina as Sci-Fi horror, though? Not in the same manner as Alien, mind you, but it has enough elements of both I feel you could make the argument.
And I kind of liked 2049. Not as much as the original, and I was deifinitely led to believe Ford would play a bigger part (didn't surprise me that he didn't, because I know advertisements do this a lot), but some of what they tried to do I feel was interesting and a good jumping off point from the original. Though even I have trouble defending it's length: you could have told that story shorter. That's just my opinion, and I also didn't wait for years for a sequel, so I probably also just took it as it was.
@@FlyingFocs The Villains in Blade Runner 2049 were Pathetic! The film was an inferior copy of the original with an unrelatable hero and all style no substance!
I've actually never been a huge fan of the Original btw... I'm a massive Harrison Ford fan but I wouldn't put Blade Runner in my Top 10 Harrison Ford movies, not with 3 Star Wars movies, 2 Indiana Jones movies, Regarding Henry, Patriot Games, Clear and Present Danger, The Devils Own and Air Force One taking up those spots and Witness, Hollywood Homicide and maybe Last Crusade would be ahead of Blade Runner too but it is a good film unlike 2049
As for Ex Machina - Yes it has a sci-fi veneer but it's a generic horror movie at its heart with an ending that actually made me furious that I'd wasted 2 hours watching that pile of crap!
@Benjamin McCann denis did good but garland has only made ex machina
Nothing’s beyond stupidity these days Mr Drinker.
Still the most fun of the three reboot Treks though. That said I ever ever want to watch it ever again. Just last month as a family we had a double bill of Voyage Home and Undiscovered Country. Now they were proper Star Trek films.
The Voyage Home and Wrath Of Khan were the best Trek movies.
@@desperatemohammedantheworl5833 I agree that its probably the best out of new trek. That's saying a lot lol. I saw it at the cinema with my Dad and remember enjoying it. A year later I saw it again on TV and forgot about 2/3rds of the film.
Then I started watching the TOS and realised just how awful the new films were.
@@dongately2817 I think Undiscovered Country is almost on parr with those two, if it had been the last Star Trek film it would have been a worthy epitaph for the franchise.
@@dongately2817 Man, I watched Wrath of Khan for the first time this year. I was in tears by the end. What a film!
Drinker was on a comedic roll on this one. Nailed it.
I think you're confusing comedy with tragedy. Sometimes humour is all that's left, you've got to laugh at the end. When things are utterly hopeless, depressing, objectionable, cruel, pathetic, and ugly. Turn your disappointment, rage, disgust, hate, and pity into sarcasm.
He's not trashing the movie as much as he's criticizing the children who bungled and vandalized it.
@@pwnmeisterage Either way. Two Thumbs Up, you guys, but you have to share.
"Admiral Chain Smoker".
did no one noticce that she is from another space program and seem to be playing the same part some one in charge
@@davidsworld5837 yes Avarasala from Expanse
I didn’t notice til I saw this review. No idea she was in this. She’s awesome in the expanse 👍🏻
@@davidsworld5837 I think she also voiced a Quarian admiral in Mass Effect 3.
@@madmechanicus9405 I would not know this never played the game if i had i would recognise the voice
You gotta wonder how Kirk is still in charge when the ship he commands has taken three consecutive crazy beatings.
Picard loses a decrepit old, obsolete ship and gets courtmartialed. xD
Yes, I know they are two separate universes.
For that matter, who would make a man who ....
1-Never graduated Starfleet and, in fact, dropped out.
2-Illegally stowed away on the Enterprise when it was going on a highly important rescue mission.
3-Was evicted from the Enterprise and then, stowed away illegally once again.
4-Assumed command of the Enterprise by getting into a fist fight with the temporary commander.
into a commander of a starship anyway????????
To be fair, they connected the universes with the TNG episode where they rescue Scottie from a transporter limbo
Edit: I think it was TNG, it may have been voyager, but captain Janeway was the admiral from Nemesis, so that connects them
@@mattbildzok2552 TNG was around 100 years after the original series. And that's how it always was.
@@EximiusDux that makes sense because I think in the episode they said Scottie was something like 146 years old, or in the limbo for that amount of time, either way, they touched in that fact
@@mattbildzok2552 what the OP meant about different universes was that the new films have a different timeline. TNG is a direct sequel to the original Trek. McCoy is in the pilot, Spock and Sarek make appearances, as well as Scotty, and generations links the two together.
Please don’t ever get rid of the slow speed Leelu laugh, it’s brilliant and kills me everytime 😆
You said it! Leelu makes my day.
Here's another Drinker Review which has FOUR LEELU LAUGHS - th-cam.com/video/ctHFNIhitTk/w-d-xo.html
Slow speed Leelu laugh, farting in the mud (poo?) puddle and Tyrion puking, check!
Totally agree mate!
@@dentheman1797 farting in the poo is a scene from Not Another Teen Movie, a hilarious film too.
corbin dallas multi pass!
It's a shame that CGI completely destroys imagination because they rely on visual effects rather than a well written story
That crashy-saucer-onto-planet scene looks more nabbed from Star Trek: Generations then the TOS movies. They're pilfering from mediocre movies to graft onto bad movies... There's only so much that flashy graphics can make up for.
that's what I thought too
Eh, Generations is not much better than Beyond. It only had more established charachters.
off topic a little but AAA games have headed in that direction too where its all graphics and no gameplay
Seeing the ship crash 2 out of 3 movies makes it not special. The Enterprise Refit had 3 movies before it blows up, D had 7 seasons before it goes.
I was glad when that Enterprise crashed onto that planet. I really hated that design!
When George Takei expresses his displeasure with gay representation, you know your movie is terrible.
@Jeffery Amherst dbz abridged
I heard he's a foul POS. So I don't care about his displeasure.
*oh, my*
Listen, I agree Takei can be a monumental ass but even a monumental ass occasionally shits in the right place. That Takei would come out and say just because he is gay doesn't mean the character he played was gay is spot on. Sulu is Sulu and Takei is Takei. I know the whole thing of the new Trek universe was the time split but it was NOT a character change. Certainly characters may develop differently after that split from the ones we became familiar with but a 20/30 year old Sulu would not suddenly become homosexual after that time divergence.
As Takei said in one of the few times I can agree with him, introducing a character who is gay is fine but it should be a NEW CHARACTER who doesn't have an entire history of NOT being gay already established.
@Abe Tsenoh And now we know why.
I remember watching Search for Spock as a child and it greatly upset me seeing the Enterprise blow up......I remember that scene so well when Kirk asks "What have I done?" when watching the burning Enterprise slowly fall.
It was a heartbreaking moment but I admired Kirk for doing "what he had to do".
The Enterprise being destroyed in Beyond is pretty much an afterthought because they need a big explosion to make the movie seem like it was good. No context just chaos.
I had exactly the same emotion even if Star Trek 3 wasn’t that good. It was a haunting and memorable moment. You could feel Kirk’s pain
Same here. It had real emotion and depth.
Because it was a real sacrifice.
Enterprise was their home, the ship that had been to hell and back with that crew, and we felt the moment along with Kirk and his crew, and just how desperate the situation was,
"My God Bones, what have I done?"
"What you always do. Turn death into a fighting chance to live"
We felt the emotion along with the crew watching Enterprise burn up.
Jar Jar blew up his "Enterprise" in a Michael Bay moment because it was a cool effect, but we had no investment or history in the Bad Reboot crew or their ship, there was no emotional impact because it wasnt earned.
@@stevepalpatine2828 The original Trek series goes to great lengths to show us that Enterprise isn't just Kirk's workplace, or even his home - she's his wife, the only woman he ever truly loved. Look at the pathos Shatner puts into the line "I miss my old chair" in ST5 (even if the rest of it was a crock, that bit was good).
@@marquisofcarrabass People give Shatners acting stick, but he nailed the role of Kirk, his eulogy at Spocks funeral at the end of Wrath of Khan ("his was the most... human") his stunned shock on Star Trek III when the reality of the situation set in as he watched _Enterprise_ burn up in the atmosphere, right down to little touches like the chair bit on Star Trek V, Shatner is better than he gets credit for.
As an aside, I actually like Star Trek V.
Its admittedly the weakest of the Original Crew's movies (imo still far above the later TNG movies after First Contact and any after that) but I enjoyed it, it felt like a movie length episode of the original series, and if you take it as such, it was a fun ride.
Wrath of Khan and Star Trek 6 - The Undiscovered Country are for me the two best Star Trek movies, Wrath of Khan because it's just epic, and Undiscovered Country was a great look at how Starfleet and the Klingons were forced to come to terms with a changing galaxy post Praxus, and the difficulties faced by both sides from a generation that had grew up looking at each other as enemies ("let then die" - another time Shatner nailed a scene emotionally) it was a brilliant allegory of real world political environment at the end of the Cold War ("in space, all warriors are cold warriors")
It's such a shame that Star Trek has fell from such heights to where it sits today, with the Bad Reboot series and the aptly named STD, not to mention the character assassination and sheer ignorance and contempt of continuity shown in Star Trek - Picard.
Damn that admiral is a pack away from becoming Palpatine
"it's a lot like watching a toddler fingerpainting on the Mona Lisa -- with his own poo." Absolutely agree. Great line.
The real shame is this is probably the most star trek any of this rebooted shite has ever been
I absolutely love your reviews - they’re not only hilarious, but deadly accurate as well. Please keep up the great work!
"Because it looks cool" - J. J. Abrams in a nutshell ...
JJ must hang out with Zack Snyder.
J. J. never understood Star Trek.
"Mystery boxes are cool" - also JJ Abrams
@@MrDman21 and Michael Bay
LENSE FLARES!
*Old Star Trek movies:* _Great action that is not the whole purpose and focus of the movie, genuine humour, lots of fanservice and sometimes surprisingly deep philosophical excursions, emphasized by great dialogues and monologues_
.
*Star Trek 2016:* _"I have the bleat and flouting!"_
Star Trek V was a massive failure, but even that movie at least tried to be about something - and Kirk’s “I need my pain” speech was actually pretty moving
@@SheldonAdama17 See, I am not even saying it was a bad scifi movie. While I still dislike the first of the Kelvin timeline movies with a passion, I actually kind of appreciate 'Darkness' and 'Beyond' as scifi flicks.
.
But I refuse to see them as Star Trek movies. How can they be, considering they were made by someone openly bragging about never having seen one single Star Trek episode in his life? Jar Jar's work is unimaginative and unoriginal to the point where he has to even steal whole scenes and sequences in the hopes the old school fans would at least like those bits. I am not saying those last two movies do not have their moments, they realls do; even in my opinion (and yes, I actually like the 'beats and shouting' scene, as silly as it is), but that does not make them true Star Trek movies.
.
And their worst crime? With them Jar Jar introduced that bloody Kelvin timeline, they were the beginning of the end for Star Trek, they have _"Just a taste of what follows next!"_ written all over them.
Admiral Chain Smoker kills me. That's so freaking funny.
So Kirk saved the day on a motorcycle, did he jump over a shark in the process?
*jumping the space shark*
Star Shark: To boldly go where no man has jumped the shark before. Except for Mr Kurtzman that is.
Heck No .... to do so would have required this fake version of Kirk to have something like the same level of coolness as "The Fonz".
Nice one
I saw this in the theater after my work shift. I was tired but still kind of excited to see it. I totally fell asleep during the final act.
what bugs me is that the Enterprise seems to get destroyed each and every fooking movie. The Enterprise is an icon, and in the original series it goes 5 years and then 2 movies without being destroyed. Yet in these stupid ass movie is gets pasted almost instantly every time. It just bugs me.
The past must be disrespected and destroyed - it's the new credo.
It was so much of an icon that they hatch a plot to steal the retired Enterprise in Star Trek 2.
I forgot most of this movie and now I remember why
Preach!! The Enterprise is a character, and it shouldn't get it's ass kicked every second movie.
The new script appears to be, kill off a major character and bring them back--kill off the Enterprise and bring it back. Don't be surprised if this theme continues ad nausea.
Kirk dodging energy blasts by riding a motorcycle, and a Beastie Boy song takes out an enemy fleet. And Simon Pegg, who co-wrote the movie, blames its failure on “poor marketing.”
he stole a classic car in the first reboot movie (as a bad boy)
now he gets to ride an "old" motorcycle AND an "old" starship too
yay
Hey, the Beastie Boy song taking out the entire fleet was the best part of the entire movie.
@SpaghettiandSauce
So too was Star Trek, once upon a time. At least in a fair number of episodes.
Yes, 'poor marketing' as in, it showed what a turd this movie was so some of us could avoid seeing it.
Pegg is massively overrated, overexposed and overdone.
That gorgeous little bit of dialogue as you watch, the enterprise crashed through into the atmosphere, my God bones. What have I done… that scene lives rent free in my head
It stands out as a great scene in an otherwise crappy movie. However, I think it's out of character, not because Kirk wouldn't mourn the loss of his ship, but because he's still in a fight for his life. He would put off the mourning until later.
I respectfully disagree. In The Naked Time when Kirk is fighting the infection that has ravaged his crew and caused Riley to lock himself in Engineering and power down the warp drive, Kirk steels himself and rallies his strength saying..."I'll never lose you.. Never lose you" referencing the Enterprise. From that scene alone we see how critical the Enterprise is to Kirk, how powerful a force it is in his life. Watching it burn up in the atmosphere of the Genesis planet had to have been the most intensely painful experience of his life, so yes indeed, he'd take that moment to mourn the loss of the one thing that defined his life to that point. The USS Enterprise: NCC1701. @@anonygent
@@anonygent yes but the whole context, that is his moment for grief, I think the ship does mean enough to him that watching it go down like that is his one moment of questioning before bones reminds him of exactly what you’re saying. I get you but I think it works a lil more than that
@@anonygent
STAR TREK 3
THE SEARCH FOR SPOCK
is a good movie
They stole that perspective joke about the aliens actually being small from Futurama. FUTURAMA
They probably took it from something too. Not saying they did but I wouldn't be surprised. Simpsons rehashed things all the time but it's the execution that counts.
It’s not original either way
Douglas Adams did it prior to both; see G'Gugvuntt/Vl'Hurg fleet.
It's "Benderama" time! Start biting...
@@StoneCorazon Originality is not a necessity. Like Stexen up there said, it's all in the execution.
Fun Fact: The actress who plays Admiral Marlboros is the same who portrays the ensemble cast member, the high ranking UN official on the series The Expanse.
Fun Fact: Your Gay.
@@eriksjud9465 His gay what?
It sounds like words just fall out of her mouth. In a bad way.
@@eriksjud9465 Fun Fact: Your = You're
Subi_fan
Finally. Someone with culture.
Roddenberry is rolling in his grave like a f*cking rotisserie.
More like a high pressure steam turbine.
Actually his ashes got shot into "space"
Nobody cares about him.
If Roddenberry were alive today he would be cashing the check. Because that's what hacks do.
He's spinning so fast he's cracked lightspeed.
Dude, a friend recommended your channel to me, as they thought i would like it - man, were they right! You're awesome, my man! A bit too civil, in my opinion, but still very straightforward and critical! Keep up the good work!
These reviews are more interesting than the actual movies
And they save you 2 hours if you skip the movie outright!
Better like to dislike ratio too
exactly what u would expect from a mindless droid
Hollywood has become MST3000.
Accurate
“Why? Don’t know!” I love this part of your reviews
Where have we seen this before?
@@WaxTheDolphin “Don’t know….” 😅😅
@@melvsdlp9293 Why Tatiana suddenly develop an urge for reading classic literature?
I couldn't stop laughing at "Admiral Chain-Smoker." 😂😂
"Admiral Chainsmoker"
I have 3 seasons of The Expanse I'd like you to watch 🤣
She's one of the least likeable characters.
Yeah please, we need a Drinker review of the Expanse
Let’s see what Drinker says. I’m hoping it’s in his recommended show
kris loist Avalarsalara is one of my favourite characters in the books because she is so funny, along with Bobbie
"I know how it fucking works."
I liked bits of this movie if only because it did have some humorous scenes that didn't treat the source material like an embarrassment the creators needed to re-envision as dark, violent and a hyper-emotional teenage-tier melodrama. It's also the only film in Nu-Trek that has any character development between the iconic trio of Kirk/Spock/McCoy. There's a good 20m of this film that made me feel like I was watching a Star Trek movie, which I couldn't say about 08 and Into Darkness, both of which I found to be miserable and joyless. Roddenberry's vision was a "rosy-tinted" view of the future, and I found 08/Into Darkness to be anathema to that view and while Beyond doesn't succeed, it gets a bit closer, at least in the parts clearly helmed by Simon Pegg. I do favor IV as my favorite Trek film, but the silliness of that movie works so much better than Beyond because we've had a 3 season TV show and 3 pretty serious films before getting the more jokey, character-oriented Voyage Home. I suppose that the difference is that Beyond feels a sub-par episode with one writer trying desperately to fix it, while 08 and Into Darkness feel like sub-par episodes written by someone who actively hates and hold contempt for Star Trek. Out of the two, I prefer this attempt at aping Marvel movies over the previous attempt aping DC movies. It's not a good movie, but I think it works better as Star Trek than the first two films, but that's more an indictment of 08 and Into Darkness than praise for Beyond. I think that's why you saw so many Trek fans praising it - it's Trek Stockholm syndrome.
It was close but not close enough.
That's what they call "damning with faint praise." Realistically the other two films are not Star Trek and really fucking hated everything about it and it's fans. This movie isn't Star Trek but just really fucking failed at trying to be. Simon Pegg gave it his best, you can tell he's actually a fan, but he's not a Sci-Fi writer at all and it shows.
I'd also add for a directory guy who makes dumb car movies he was actually the first person to really visualize the warp bubble that's generated around the ships. It's not just that they go really fast. So James Wong actually knows SOMETHING about Star Trek. Also to his credit, he actually fought the Motorcycle scene specifically pointing out that he was the "car race movie guy" but was overruled.
Also, while the parallel to 3 is clear they do make the distinction that Kirk is not lamenting that he's getting old but is asking himself if he became a Captain simply because he was trying to mimic his Father/Pike (Father figure) rather than following his own path. Which I think is the best sort of effort to work in the shit plot of the first film.
I agree. Beyond is my favorite of the new films, but I wouldn't choose to watch it over any of the older Star Trek movies.
Slight correction, the first one came out in 09.
missed the opportunity to call it Spockholm
Star Trek, Enterprise destroyed.
Star Trek Into Darkness, Enterprise destroyed.
Star Trek Beyond, Enterprise destroyed . . . The point?
Usually when the Captain loses a ship; they get another one. But in these stupid movies; Starfleet just keeps giving him a new ship EVERY TIME!! 😆😆😆😆.
In the first Movie the Enterprise got Hit by only one Torpedo.
I had never watched the third Star Trek, always hearing how bad it was, and tired of things being ruined.
So, I courageously watched this review, expecting to laugh at the sadness.
Then, I realized I HAD watched Star Trek Beyond, and had forgotten that I had.
Ahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
...and began to weep, knowing it was two hours of my life I could never get back.
That is modern Star Trek in a nutshell: disposable, completely forgettable, so much action it's boring.
In real Star Trek, Sulu actually had a wife and kids.
According to NuTrek he dumped her and hooked-up with some guy instead.
Yep. And Sulu's daughter went on to be the Captain of the USS Enterprise 1701-B. Excelsior class starship.
@@mrbuck5059 In Generations (the movie) the daughter was the helmsman. Did she go on to become the captain in the books or something? I honestly don't know. So glad I never spent money on NuTrek (blech).
@@richardsturges2736 yes. She did get assigned on other ships but the Enterprise was her ship.
I real life Sulu was gay.
I remember that I didn't think it was so bad, but then again I don't remember a single thing that happened in it.
Same. I watched in theater and enjoued myself. I watched it again about a year later and didn't remember a damn thing. I was searching Wikipedia for answers haha
@@beardedbjorn5520 I recall the silly thing about beasty boys.
I copy and paste from above: These films are made to stimulate the brain into intense, short-term, goal gratification. Shit like that doesn't stay in your mind. It gets cleared out for the next fight-or-flight incident. That's why we can't remember if we've seen these or not. We never engaged the deep-thinking, better-store-that-for-later parts of our brain. Am I being too technical? And stuff?
Same. Cant remember a fking thing about this movie. But i remember it being extremely generic though. Let it fade into obscurity along with other JJ trek movies.
Both Star Trek and Star Wars have become poop and that is being nice.
“Bantha podo”
“HUMAN EXCREMENT!”
tbh I read that as "pop", becasue it's still accurate.
I hope you guys will succeed in ending both frenchies.
He called the shit poop.
So the movie starts with Kirk obtaining an artifact, goes to a docking station, leaves on a mission, but the artifact is still on the ship? Why wasn't it turned over for study or storage? Is Kirk supposed to be like Herman Goering going around stealing everyone's art and artifacts for himself?
*FUCK OF FILM*
Why does Kirk even have the artifact? That artifact wasn't given to Starfleet. It was to be given to the aliens that Kirk was negotiating with. In the event negotiations failed it should have been immediately returned to its original owner.
Perhaps they kept it on the ship so they could return it once they got back out into space.
@@doltBmB Then why did they still have it when traveling into the uncharted nebula? If they were stowing it to turn it over they would have properly turned it over at the station to either be picked up by the aliens or brought to the aliens by a smaller ship.
@@GeorgeMonet So they could return it when they got back out into space. Learn to read.
@@doltBmB um dude first rude, second maybe read what the other guy said before being toxic if you didn't understand I'll simplify it, they failed the mission so they should have put it back by the time they were embarking on their second mission
There's no film so terrible that the Drinker can't show you how much worse it is than you remember.
I clicked on this thinking, oh I didn’t watch that one so this will be a fresh look at terribleness.
But as it went on I had this horrible sinking realization that I did in fact see it in the theater.
I just forgot.
@@Peter_Morris Motivated forgetting is a defense mechanism, a coping strategy designed to suppress potentially harmful memories such as the garbage-tier reboots/franchise sequels of today.
I watched this crab years ago and found it terrible but I didn`t even remember what the plot was all about. Perhaps the shityness triggered a safety switch in my brain...xD
The funniest part is JJ Abrams DIDN’T direct this one 😂😂😂
I'm sure I saw this movie - but for the life of me, I can't remember anything about it except for the tiny monsters in the beginning.
Star Trek (2009) was an interesting reboot. Then somehow they decided "There's a crazy bad guy that wants to destroy the world!" should always be the plot. They forgot that what Star Trek always did well was present the moral dilemma or ideological struggle as "the bad guy." But, nah...don't make people think, just blow stuff up.
@BLAIR M Schirmer I didn't say it was perfect...just interesting. I think the whole being a drunk thing, for example, is well explained by the loss of his father in the so-called "Kelvin timeline."
Oh, and edit: He didn't "unaccountably wander" into Starfleet...he was recruited by a man who deeply admired his father and saw potential in him. Is that likely/possible in the real world of military service...I assume not. But it isn't unexplained either, within the universe it is well explained. I assume we'll disagree about how good that explanation is :)
Kirk: Admiral, I’ve decided to stay on as captain of the Enterprise.
Kirk: Which I … umm … just destroyed.
Kirk: But that’s OK. Cause you’ll just give me a new ship.
Kirk: Conveniently called Enterprise.
Hes got some high level connections 😂
JJ Abrams is the anti-midas of film making. Whenever he touches pure entertainment gold, it turns into...well, something lesser. Like shite.
WHY oh WHY do people keep getting him involved??? WHY???
Everything he touch it die
The Yorktown being a space station is even more confusing given that the USS Yorktown was a Constitution-class ship in TOS, and was even referenced in Voyager.
They could've at least given it a name that didn't have existing associations.
I have no idea why you think any of the directors knows anything about Star Trek.
@@GeorgeMonet Or film making in general
Yorktown is also the name of an actual ship in the US Navy, just like Enterprise
It could have been a nod to the fact that the Constitution class USS Yorktown was renamed USS Enterprise A so this film has the Enterprise A come from Yorktown
Scintillating criticism.
My favorite part was when they drove the Franklin off the edge of a cliff to make it fly, like it was glider using wings not a star ship that relied on rockets and impulse engines.
Contact me for your reward ❤️🎊🥳
Pity Critical didn't point out the absurdity of Kirk teleporting in on a motorcycle doing about 40 mph.
Wouldn't that mean he had to drive into the Transporter at 40 mph for the beam out?
And just how would he manage this in a room approx 15 foot across? Don't Know.
why is there a motorcycle in the film anyway?
What's even more absurd is that if he missed, he'd end up running into the wall at 40 mph, and if the transporter missed, he'd end up a smear on the ground. How would a transporter even catch someone doing 40 mph?
@@anonygent IKR? Isn't that why Winona Ryder dies in the first movie?
The whole JJ Star Trek trilogy is trash. Then he ruined Star Wars.
Rian johnson definitely ruined star wars.
JJs version was just uninspired af, but it worked until tlj retconned everything to death.
They're honestly not that bad to me. Although, the original series was before my time, so technically, I wasn't really introduced until _The Next Generation,_ which I fucking love, by the way. That said, I am certainly in agreement with you in terms of Star Wars. Well, minus _The Mandalorian,_ of course.
He directed the only bad Mission Impossible move too IMHO.
Jar Jars company isnt called Bad Reboot for nothing...
That is the great sci-fi unification theory by JJ. With high enough bullshit levels, Star Trek And Wars is the actually the same, a lense flare show.
The Yorktown was a Constitution-class heavy cruiser like the Enterprise, and was disabled by the whale probe in Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. Starbases are designated by number. This Abrams stuff is cack.
Theory:
The crew of the Yorktown didn't make it, the ship was scrubbed down, sprayed with some Febreze and repainted as Enterprise A
It explains where the ship came from so quickly, why it was so faulty in the following movie (possibly even haunted) and makes sense as a great punishment/practical joke from the Starfleet brass to Kirk for stealing the old Enterprise
@@347Jimmy Help! A necromancer has entered the chat!
@@wwiiinplastic4712 wasn't even my theory, but the first time I heard it I accepted it as headcanon
It just makes too much sense
Wow. A station got a name instead of s number. Disrespect! Travesty!
@@bentaylor809 It is. The ships in Star Trek are named after real world warships. There really was a carrier named Yorktown that was attacked twice during the battle of Midway. Hence why the ships in Star Trek are named but he bases are not. There is a reason for things to be the way they are in the fictional universe. When you start breaking the rules that maintain the ephemeral believability of the fictional universe universe the whole fiction collapses in on itself.
I want to see a Star Trek remake with Critical Drinker as Scotty, where he’s allowed to ad-lib his lines.
“I’m giving her all she’s got Captain - BELIEVE THAT!”
Star Wars has a ways to catch up to Trek.
Destroyed Enterprises - 15
Destroyed Death Stars - 3
Yeah, it getting so it's expected. They should just let the Enterprise explode in space dock and the crew can walk to wherever.
Each star destroyer in episode 9 had a death star laser in it and there were 10000 of them soooo
The Enterprises need to demand more compensation for their screen time since they keep getting blown the hell up so many times 😑
may be that is a video showing every time the enterprise has blown up in a time line.
you have to say as the best it is total Cr-p yet it seems to take no time to rebuild a new one. wonder if being built by the shipyard building them two Scottish ferries. hehehe
I remember when this movie came out George Takai was actually upset that they made Sulu gay because that’s not how the character ever was.
Like the drinker said, Sulu was a ladies man, he even had a daughter.
Wait what? I never noticed, I thought that it was his brother
Like the Drinker said, JJ and his teams of retards can't tell the difference between "actor" and "character". Probably explains how their movies are constructed 195% out of plot holes.
@@icicle_ai9748
5:37
This is where both of them caress each other's side, not explicitly, but enough to imply that they are (if you know how this things work, as in, what is going on in the culture war). It was never directly mentioned, so if I were the next director, I'll just scrap it off.
Don’t forget the actors from this movie chastised him for it, too, with the equivalent of “poor old George doesn’t know what he’s talking about”. It was sickening.
To The Critical Drinker: Thank you for your reviews! I have enjoyed every single one that I’ve seen so far because your critiques are spot on!
And don't forget the big reveal is found out by a character seeing the recorded image of a random black guy from a hundred years ago, out of the corner of their eye and immediately thinking "it was*him*!"
It's the kind of convenience that would make Sherlock envious of resorting to actual skill instead of relying on dumb luck.
Lol.. movie was the worst of the three...thankfully the cast is terrific
It's leftist projection… all aliens basically look the same right?
She is not using her eyes, she's using her ears. Because she's a goddam good communication officer with perfect hearing. She would totally pick up the voice pattern.
Another well explained example of why I gave up watching a television, and haven't gone to a theater in years.
Same here. You’re not missing anything. I watch review videos (obviously) & all tv programs & films are just vehicles to push feminist, lgbt & trans agendas while demonising whites & “the patriarchy”
@@joejitsu034 So, out of curiosity: where exactly do you draw that line? where all film and tv became propaganda trash? Because I can think of a whole hell of a lot of movies and tv that are fantastic that have come out in the last 5 years.
@@ctcheeserexplores7443
I draw the line when I feel like I’m being openly condescended to, lectured, etc. the issue is, it’s so frequent that I can’t really be bothered investing the time to find out anymore.
@@ctcheeserexplores7443 2005
@@samblack5313 well I can give you some recommendations for great tv and film if you want, but I respect your opinion.
Man, they need to stop giving JJ Abrams access to old franchises. His "new" ideas are always old rehashes in new dresses.
We all are better off if he just would his own original stuff instead of turning franchises into zombies.
I wonder what JJ Abrams would do if you drove a dumptruck full of money in front of his house and said: "Direct whatever you want."
@@schwarzerritter5724 He'd be... Lost.
@@threej4pope
Top fuckin' kek
"A strong female plot device" - oh God, I lost it.
The fact that it's garbage just gives Hollywood another reason to reboot the reboot ¬_¬ Why do people keep paying to see this stuff??!! ffs
Thats what I said in my comment, they will be "rebooting the reboot" in the next 5-7 years.
With movie theatres closed and few films being released this year due too the coof Hollywood should be picky about not alienating large chunks of the potential audience and then attacking fans for "toxic fandom". Instead they seem to double down.
@@philanderphillips2309 Just seen your comment and totally agree, so many franchises ruined over the years
@@Ozymandias1 Hollyweird doesn't care mate, as they keep feeding us movies and reboots we're not asking for.
Mike Doonsebury - remember watching Idiocracy and thinking it was an absurd comedy (the comedy coming from the insane ridiculousness portrayed)? 🤡🙃
"Admiral chainsmoker" 😂😂😂
“Relentless cavalcade of nonsense” - have to remember this.
For a despondent drunk, The Drinker is remarkably eloquent.
*Must . . . restrain . . . political . . . commentary . . . . *
Ever want it to be directed by: “That guy who does the dumb car movies”?
NuTrek IS a dumb car series.
@@professorm4171 Cool lightning bolt. I'm guessing you're a Bowie fan (me too)
So now he is doing dumb space movies?
You mean Michael Bay?
Muh respec
Muh fambly
The best way to describe the three new movies is that they're Great!...if you're new to Trek and have never seen what it's based on
@The Critical Drinker the “Yorktown” was a starship in proper Prime canon. I guess Spock’s trip through time changed more than we even ever imagined 💩👎🏾😂.
@ITS Computers LLC I looked it up. Here is where it is from. I knew the name sounded familiar. "The USS Yorktown (NCC-20045) was a 24th century Federation starship operated by Starfleet. (TNG: "The Measure Of A Man")"
ITS Computers LLC I learned there were two different ships using that name. The original was a Constitution class starship just like the Enterprise and the other that was in TNG was a “Zodiac class” starship.
Me before watching the Critical Drinker: This is good movie.
Me after watching the Critical Drinker: This movie was the worst I want my money back.
honestly have to say if you need someone to spoon feed you something this obvious, good luck out there
@@eriksjud9465 Thanks for the well wishes but A: It was a light hearted attempt at humor and B: It aimed at all his reviews not just this specific movie.
To me it was obvious you were joking.👍
@@gregsmith7949 come on Greg, it wasn't that obvious, the guys name is Chim Richalds ffs...what is that?
You should make your own judgment, not be a sheep for a TH-camr. Out of the three new Treks, I agree with Mike at RLM, this is the best of the three.
The only good thing in that movie where most scenes with Karl Urban as McCoy, he's just awesome.
...and the (Ship) Uniforms looked really nice, this time.
But that's it.
I'd wear those jackets on a normal day.
Karl Urban can do no wrong. He's easily the most underrated actor in Hollywood. He is like a more-talented Hugh Jackman. How the fuck is he not more popular?
Karl Urban’s McCoy was the only reason I watched any of the Abrams Trek films and he was criminally underused in all of them. Then again McCoy’s my favorite, so I’m biased. (Also they didn’t understand that the Kirk/McCoy and McCoy/Spock friendships were as important as the Kirk/Spock one, which ARGH.)
The enemies destroyed their ship and then boarded them lol they got a few minutes to find the artifact before they all die... great plan.
In TOS and the (real) movies, the Enterprise was treated with respect and honor, as if it were another character; that's what made its destruction in III:TSFS so significant and moving. In contrast, JarJar treats the Enterprise like a disposable prop; that's why its destruction(s) is so empty.
The destruction makes for good shooty shooty bang bang effects so he keeps doing it. Like Michael Bay, only worse if that’s possible
I did a quick check, in neither of the modern ST movies directed by Jar Jar did the Enterprise actually get destroyed. In the first one it remained completely untouched. In the second one it was heavily damaged, but not annihilated.
And Beyond was directed by Justin Lin. The guy who does the stupid car movies. So you are objectively wrong when referring to Enterprise's destruction as a decision Jar Jar made.
You're still right though, it's a stupid thing to do.
@@yashkasheriff9325 Wasn't Kirk's dad on another Enterprise that got destroyed though?
@@deathsdoor07
That wasn't an Enterprise.
@@deathsdoor07 That was USS Kelvin, entirely different type of ship
"Want to see the Enterprise get blown up?"
What? For the 3rd time?
J.J. Abram's formula: "It's just another thing that happens, in the relentless cavalcade of nonsense that passes for the film's plot."
Jar Jar directed the two other shitty new ST movies. This one's directed by the guy who does the dumb car movies.
@@yashkasheriff9325 Yeah, it's really weird that the crew weren't constantly referring to each other as family or some nonsense
@@yashkasheriff9325 Jar Jar was producer, who hired the dumb car movie guy.
@An Accessory to Mordor Beyond absolutely fucking failed at the box office and barely made ends meet, but at the very least Lin is a marginally better writer because instead of stomping on the hopes and dreams of ST fans he just rehashes it. Still doesn't excuse it from being a decidedly 'meh' movie. Only got good reviews because everything else was even worse.
LOST was a mistake.
I thought it was really bad when I saw it as well. You make some good detailed points, especially the theft of iconic old scenes, bereft of their meaning when lifted from their original contexts, and also good point about the heavy reliance on coincidences--apparently used to scaffold the various flimsy plot points, like some kind of narrative Ponzi scheme.
It's a shame this was Anton's last movie. He did pretty good as Chekov
I thought so as well.
Tim Haverland he’s been dead for 4 years. Car crash I think.
@@elizabethkirby3602 - yes. His car (Jeep Cherokee) was not in park and rolled into him, crushing him against his fence. It was not his fault either. Jeep took responsibility for it, as their new gear shifter (electric) had a serious flaw. It would not always go into park, even though it read as being in park.
His last movie was Thoroughbred I think, with Anya Taylor-Joy. I liked that movie. So sad that he passed away. He wasn't the lead or anything but it was a good movie.
Sorry to mention this, but if you run yourself over with your own car, then driving a starship is probably not for you...
Star Trek Beyond has the most perfect name ever. You watch it one time and anything "Beyond" that is crazy😎🍿
One other crime I'd like to point out. . . the only character in the whole movie that cries is the Vulcan. What?
It's so bad some one had to.
@@billduplessis5810 LOL. That's hilarious.
@@ProfessorOzone my work here is done, have a good day.