This is true at places like dead end jobs. When I used to work overnight stock there was this kid I used to work with that would go above and beyond every single time and finish his own work while helping slower people who couldn't get done. If anyone asked him to do something for them, he'd always do it every single time. When someone would ask me to do something, I would always give some kind of attitude so it would scare them off next time they asked me. Also when I work I always never try to get done too early like that other kid, I always try and get done on time. If you get done early management will start pushing more work on you and that's why I always pace what I do. Unfortunately, the company cut hours after the obama thing rolled in and since that kid got done the fastest, they gave him lower hours while the people that never got done would get more. I kept telling him to stop helping other people and do things for yourself, but he wouldn't have any of it. It's like he built this rep of being a saint for so long that he couldn't go back. He still works there and probably still being taken advantage of. It's a real shame.
That sounds a lot like my father, he works at a job in which he pretty much does everything, while other people are sitting in a lunchroom for their shift drinking coffee and eating candy for the shift. He's been working there so a good amount of years, pretty much since I was 9. It's been like this for a lot of my family members also, especially my mother and brother. It's really sad that no company or person cares for one another anymore...
I have like 16000 kills with the Tac .45. It's the most fun i've ever had in a shooter ever. I really hope I can run around pistol-only in Advanced Warfare. Ghosts was a massive letdown.
Great video,I am considered the guy that's is always nice,it's frikin annoying because I fell horrible making anybody feel bad but they don't hesitate to insult me and am a bit too helpful
There's a saying, "Don't take my kindness for weakness." That's how I roll. I will be nice as often as I can, but when someone is has the intent of belittling me or my friends, I can change into a wild animal if need be.
I am a nice guy, but it kinda sucks because all of the girls I have ever liked, and some it's gotten to the point that I've loved, never even gave me a chance.
These days, I am harsher (which as a side effect made me cynical), more talkative, and less nerdy (see my profile picture) than when I was nerdy, shy, and a doormat years ago. That didn't help me out much. Just be yourself, and do not force things to happen to you. Make it natural is my saying. Do not obsess with stuff. If a girl rejects you, move on to the next one.
Your story about how the guy that put in a lot of effort in his job and the other people took advantage of him reminded me of my first job: Since it was my first job I really wanted to do my best so when the dishes kept piling up I would sometimes go my entire shift without a break. Then my boss caught wind of this then just basically demanded this of and would yell at me for not getting dishes done when he made me help this real lazy waitress with her job and no one ever lifted a finger to help me with my job so after all that I quit that job and it was truly one of the best decisions of my life. But anyway that was my own. "Not being a wet blanket story."
7:15 Yep, i found my "MOMENT OF ENLIGHTMENT" in this video. From now on, i will spend that money on my armored car instead of being nice to a person i wanted to be friends with. Thanks.
Drift0r, as a naturally nice guy whose feeling of realization and unity comes from the well-being of others, I can say there's no shame or detriment in being the last in line. When you've honed your abilites to their best, letting other people have the first go can be a very powerful driving force - for yourself. At least that's how I feel.
I came here from your Q&A with the guy that was going to be an accountant and wanted to be a youtube/twitch gamer. Both of those spoke to me on a personal level. I've also seen some of your other videos and they managed to give me the answers I want and keeping me interested, unlike other videos I've seen. They had me looking through the "recommended videos" before the 1:00 mark. Anyway, keep doing what you do.
I really love getting these intellectual philosophical commentaries that I can just listen to while i do my daily things. The gameplay is great but I actually enjoy the commentary more. Great job Driftor! Your content is quality, keep up the awesome work!
Yea my syster doesn't appreciate anything I do for her and whenever she feels like it she will talk in a negative tone with me or just call me names, bunch of names, out of the blue just because she can and in the 1% of cases when I talk back, she's the one getting offended and I'm the one who should apologize. ( typical feminazi ). Also the only reason I try and still have a decent relationship with her is because my dad. He's such a cool dude and has supported us for a long time and loves us to death but he's very strict when it comes to having a family and keeping it running. He's say he would get very mad with us and like not talk to us if we end up like my mom and uncle ( they are brother and sister and dont speak to eachother because of the uncle as mom's pretty cool ). So that's my situation.
My advice would be to tolerate your sister. Stop all the extra crap but still recognize that you are in fact family. If she really is a feminazi, the biggest advantage you can have is knowledge. Research whatever it is she's on about at the time so she can't be on her high horse and hopefully from there you can have a fucking conversation.
Thanks for the great video driftor... It really touches me on a deeper level with people that walk over me .. Just because I always listen and solve other people problems.. Putting others in front of myself... a guy even kissed my girlfriend while she was drunk when I arrived at the party( I crashed it) ... Just because he knows I wont resort to violence... And I still dont know if I should... But anyway.. Dont ever stop making these videos... Your the only channel I stay updated with I watch all your videos even games I dont play.. You truly are a great person to listen to and I hope that your inspirational videos reach you as deep as it has reached alot of your subscribers. Have a nice day Driftor hope you read this.
This is especially epic because I've been in the same situation doing and saying the same thing. My favorite line for the last couple years has been, "if you don't take care of yourself, you're no good to anyone else." It's hard to say no, but you certainly hit the nail on the head here.
I live in a very shitty city and no one goes out of their way to be friendly, so I don't either. People are really shitty so I just stay home, no friends. And most days I happy, but some days I wish I didn't feel the need for human company.
I remember back when I played CoD religiously, I ran into a riot shield clan on Mw2. Everyone had smoke grenades and riot shields, and they had one guy with a intervention picking people off from behind.
I myself am working on this. There's this guy at work (family owned business, and he's the son of the managers) who's always trying to get out of working. If he doesn't want to work, he'll borderline beg people to take his shift so he can "do homework". If he's working late, he's always complaining and asking everyone to take his late shift. And if any of us say no, he tries guilt tripping us. Then he goes and complains to his mom.
Love your videos drift0r!!! Been watching them for years since black ops 1! You are a great commentator and I love listening to you talk about stuff. Never gets old.
I agree, but with one important caveat. When you have children you should go out of your way to help them. Children, especially very young children, need a lot of time and attention and are very self-centered. As a parent you should be giving them a healthy amount of help and attention. However, you also need to know when to stand back and let them figure out something for themselves (which can be the hardest part). Obviously if they are going to get hurt in a major way you should step in, but if they keep making the same mistake about something and don't learn then you may need to step back. Let them make those mistakes when they are young and the stakes are lower instead of when they are older and the stakes are higher.
I love your philosophy commentaries but I have a hard time finding them sometimes. It would be awesome if you could put them in a playlist. Not a big deal but it would be helpful. Good luck on your channel!
Loved your thoughts, and I especially relate this to school. Something minor like pencils, everyone used to ask me for one last year, so this year I made it my duty to say no to everyone. Let's just say I got my point across, and it worked. The same goes for homework, I only help those that I know will help me with my homework.
Drift0r I'm sorry to hear about all of your troubles. The answer isn't a "doormat" nor its opposite, instead it's in the middle. Good luck to you and for many who feel as you do. Perhaps as I had my stepson do sometimes you need a professional to help sort things out and in some cases medications can help which have come a long way. My stepson is now a great man with a bright and happy future ahead of him. In any case all my best to you!
I personally appreciate this video. It hit me pretty hard as I definitely let my kindness get the best of me and leads to me struggling quite a bit to make ends meet.
i can relate to having to raise your family, last year i actually had to take off 6 months of high school to raise my 9 year old and 6 month old brothers while my mom was in the hospital. the 9 year old was easier to handle because I've already basically raised him when my mom had to work two jobs. really tough times, but their your family so you have to go that extra mile for them.
Never thought of it that way but getting people to do things for you is the best way to be liked and become some one the target person is invested in. Super cool phycological "finding".
Sanic No its not. The damage drops to 45 at 3 meters, look at the stats. I'm not saying it's a worse pistol, but I know for sure the Tac45 has faster ttk from 3-10 meters.
The Tac is my favourite gun in Black Ops 2, the first gun I made a class for when I unlocked CaC on the day of release, the first gold gun I got in Bo2 (twice) and my 2nd most used weapon (by about 50 kills)
That happened to me during junior year with some of my closest friends. My relationship with them was heavily damaged because of it, completely irreversible. Now, I'm much more picky with how I invest my energy into anybody's business.
I'd say I'm just like what Driftor talked about, except I'm not so helpful at home because I don't need to be. At school I won the leadership, citizenship, math and growth mindset awards at my grade 8 graduation. I consider myself quite the doormat so I only have a few close friends and others that after watching this video I think are using me. Thanks Driftor :)
I had a similar situation with this girl I really really liked. I'll keep a really long story kind of short but I was always as nice as I could be to her thinking that surely she would like me the same way. Well she knew how much I liked her and quickly realized that no matter what she did all she had to do was say sorry and I would instantly forgive her. This lasted several years before I started to realize that she really didn't care much about me at all. I finally decided to cut all ties with her. Unfortunately the damage was already done, and I was already suffering from a great amount of depression and suicidal thoughts. I told myself I would never let anyone treat me like that ever again. That was quite a few years ago. Today I am happily married with three children and am grateful that things ended up the way they did.
Im kind of glad I watched this video tbf. Recently ive hit a down point in my life as ive always prided myself as being a rock for others. I helped someone kick a drug habit and get out of depression. Ive done a lot for other people, but the other week it hit me how bad it is and out of control I get when I help. I payed for a friend's one night stand to go home as she disnt want him anymore. I cooked breakfast for 5 people because they all had bad heads from drinking. I even rubbed savlon on her knees from when she fell over and grazed them. It took a couple weeks to get over that. The thing is, its one thing saying and onne thing doing. I normally feel good doing things like that as ive taught myself to be happy knowing ive helped someone. I dont do it for their attention or praise, rather self satisfaction. Im aware I have gone to extremes to help people out, but thats who I am, and if I cant accept and embrace that, how can I expect help in return when I need it?
I would also say do not mistake kindness for weakness. Nice people usually don't finish last, but its like the nice and weak people who do. Be nice but strong!
I'm the same way. Too nice. I spend hours upon hours listening to my friends stories about how their Boyfriends don't treat them well or how they can't find the right person. While I'm sitting there thinking about how I would fix it and how I would treat them. I feel trapped, unappreciated like I am just a diary. I'm tired of being a diary. But I never put my foot down.
wherever you are theres never going to be someone who cant relate to this being one of the shyest unluckiest and nicest guys around where I live I understand both perspectives of helping and being helped. as someone who gets a lot and gives out help I think I can say with confidence that being a bit cruel and turning down the odd cry for assistance is necessary to be able to be kind to someone and yourself in the long run. but remember it cuts both ways
Thanks for the vid driftor, it really opened my eyes it really helps i had an "ungrateful" gf but we recently broke up and ive noticed that i wasnt the bad guy its probably for the best. Thanks man it honestly got me out of my little depression
Awesome video man,I'm going to show my gf this video she has a really bad habit of not doing anything for herself and doing everything for her family and then in return her family treats her like crap, I tell her all the time that's not good and she needs balance but she doesn't wanna listen to me hopeful you can persuade her 👍👍
Thanks for sharing Drift, interesting knowing more about your personal life. Great video man, I hope some can learn from your experiences and personal findings.
The thing about making other people invest in you is actually really smart. If you do a bunch of stuff for this other person, if they don't want it then it will be perceived as annoying, and if they don't give anything back then you are letting them subconsciously put themselves above you because they get all this from you and aren't required to give anything back. If you ask them to do things for you almost as often as you do things for them, first of all it puts you on even ground in terms of superiority, more of a partnership than a master/servant kind of thing. Secondly, if you invest in something, no matter what it is, you want to see that investment turn a profit. It's the same with people. You make people invest emotionally or with their time and such, and they are much less likely to just walk away or push you away because they have invested in you and want to see a profit, which in this case, is that they are more likely to want a relationship on some level (acquaintances, friends, etc) with you. It might not make a whole lot of sense and I probably did a really bad job of explaining it, but think of it this way: If you get a co-worker/friend to tell you something really personal, like he/she's going through a divorce or a close family member just died, would it make sense for him/her to just walk away after and pretend it you don't know each other? No, because he/she has invested in you, in this case quite heavily, trusting you with something huge in their life and possibly wanting advice or help of some sort. I dunno, let me know if this helped clarify anything, or if somebody has a better explanation. I love constructive criticism, but none of the "u suck go kill urself u make no sense" stuff please.
while i'm not the nicest person in the world, i will always try my best to aid anyone in need of help that i'm capable of, even if it means going out of my way to do so. honestly, i dont expect anything in return nor do i get joy out of helping. it's just my nature, i guess? but i do feel a little disappointed when some people just dont show any form of appreciation; a word of 'thanks' will suffice. am i being ironic? saying that i dont expect something in return but yet feel disappointment when unappreciated.
This is so relevant to me right now Drift0r, I literally feel like I'm a doormat, I don't know why but I always put other before me, (self-sacrifice xD) I don't know how to change that, I'm just so used to serving people.
I like these kinds of videos because your life is/was so much different than mine. I practically grew up in the opposite type of house than you and it's very interesting
Im in the same kinda boat. I like to think im a nice guy. And i like to help people out and make their day a little better. But theres just sometimes where u cant because they dont appreciate it or are being rude about it. So u just gotta step back sometimes and do whats best for u
Strangely enough I get some of that too for being the nice guy I couldnt bare to upset anyone but at least I balance things out by telling people what they should do instead so kind of helping in the mental way not the physical saves all the trouble!
0:06 "(...) no more mr. nice guy (...)" No more! Mr. Nice guy! No more! Mr. Cle eh EH EH EAN! No more! Mr. Nice guy! (they said) He's sick! He's obsce eH EH EAN!
Nice vid Driftor, I'm starting to think that I should subscribe for this kind of videos. Totally agree on what you're saying, but that does not mean we should help others because of this possible exploitation from others. I feel like a lot of the audience here will take it to the extreme and wall themselves off. Helping others is always nice, but one should also have dignity while doing so. Going overboard helping others will attract scums to exploit you, but going overboard ignoring people will also screw you up in the long run. Find a balance and take pride in yourself, and no doubt you will be happy for the rest of your life.
Is it bad if I'm like this, you kinda just described my life just without having to teach my mother. Which I have to say is very very Great of you Drif0r.
Good vid, a topic I really can relate too. How did you break that pattern and honestly what did you do to evolve An answer would mean a lot to me. Been struggling with a similar history myself and I work on it but, there is a black hole, a empty room and I don´t know how to make a different choice.
I kinda figured out the whole family thing recently. I am the black sheep who plays cod and isn't going to b a doctor/ lawyer so I got a "talk about your future" meeting every few days. So I got a nice paying job, work 50 hours a week and im happy on my own. Its tougher when your young but just stand up for yourself and don't let people take control of your life.
I am the guy who is nice to everyone, but who is liked by no one. Being bullied is part of my childhood, and it has ruined me. I am 16 and I feel absolutely depressed. I came up to a point where I wanted to end it, although I'm glad I didnt. But I WISH people would ask me for help. I WISH people NEED me. But they don't. No one does.
I´ve learned it the hard way I helped everybody at the same time, but it was to much and I cound´t say no. So after some time it all crushed down to me and I couldn´t satisfy anyone that I´ve tried to help. Everybody was disappointed, and so was I.
Thanks driftor you remind me a lot of my older sister of whom takes care of me and. You gave me in sight into what its like and now I'm gonna be nicer to her as I was not all to nice before
![[LIVE] : ONE ลุมพินี 91 | คู่เอก "คมอาวุธ vs อเล็กเซย์"](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/V0RkEfYFsgM/mqdefault.jpg)
Im still amazed that he makes such intellectual videos and they still entertain. Amazing job Drift0r, dont ever stop.
Just like woody
Woody's videos are lame and boring.
so true, i learn more useful and interesting things here than at school
Well woody was once amazing. Now he focuses on his stupid minecraft server and not caring of his subs
ThaFacialHair Agree.
Driftor: Modern Day Philosopher.
Ha
doesn't even have a degree in philosophy and is still a beast.
Call of Drift0r: Modern Philosopher
It's called the internet
Agree
This is true at places like dead end jobs. When I used to work overnight stock there was this kid I used to work with that would go above and beyond every single time and finish his own work while helping slower people who couldn't get done. If anyone asked him to do something for them, he'd always do it every single time.
When someone would ask me to do something, I would always give some kind of attitude so it would scare them off next time they asked me. Also when I work I always never try to get done too early like that other kid, I always try and get done on time. If you get done early management will start pushing more work on you and that's why I always pace what I do.
Unfortunately, the company cut hours after the obama thing rolled in and since that kid got done the fastest, they gave him lower hours while the people that never got done would get more. I kept telling him to stop helping other people and do things for yourself, but he wouldn't have any of it. It's like he built this rep of being a saint for so long that he couldn't go back.
He still works there and probably still being taken advantage of. It's a real shame.
That sounds a lot like my father, he works at a job in which he pretty much does everything, while other people are sitting in a lunchroom for their shift drinking coffee and eating candy for the shift. He's been working there so a good amount of years, pretty much since I was 9. It's been like this for a lot of my family members also, especially my mother and brother. It's really sad that no company or person cares for one another anymore...
I have like 16000 kills with the Tac .45. It's the most fun i've ever had in a shooter ever. I really hope I can run around pistol-only in Advanced Warfare. Ghosts was a massive letdown.
Have you tried the PDW?
Pdw was awful wtf u talking about?
The p226 with muzzle brake is a 2 shot kill at close range
Milad Khavanin yeah, the p226 was the only pistol you could have fun with, but not too much fun.
Tommy LeClaire It's my favourite pistol actually.
I don't even play COD anymore, I stick around largely for videos such as these
Keep it up! :D
Great video,I am considered the guy that's is always nice,it's frikin annoying because I fell horrible making anybody feel bad but they don't hesitate to insult me and am a bit too helpful
There's a saying, "Don't take my kindness for weakness." That's how I roll. I will be nice as often as I can, but when someone is has the intent of belittling me or my friends, I can change into a wild animal if need be.
I agree!
***** Wasn't that al capone who said that?
I am a nice guy, but it kinda sucks because all of the girls I have ever liked, and some it's gotten to the point that I've loved, never even gave me a chance.
Same with me, it became depressing but you eventually move on. Hang in there
Then give yourself a chance
I feel you bro
These days, I am harsher (which as a side effect made me cynical), more talkative, and less nerdy (see my profile picture) than when I was nerdy, shy, and a doormat years ago. That didn't help me out much. Just be yourself, and do not force things to happen to you. Make it natural is my saying. Do not obsess with stuff. If a girl rejects you, move on to the next one.
i thought you said "all of the girls i have ever killed" LOL
Your story about how the guy that put in a lot of effort in his job and the other people took advantage of him reminded me of my first job:
Since it was my first job I really wanted to do my best so when the dishes kept piling up I would sometimes go my entire shift without a break. Then my boss caught wind of this then just basically demanded this of and would yell at me for not getting dishes done when he made me help this real lazy waitress with her job and no one ever lifted a finger to help me with my job so after all that I quit that job and it was truly one of the best decisions of my life.
But anyway that was my own. "Not being a wet blanket story."
Love the commentary man! the gameplay was the cherry on top
***** Kevin illest
damn, the self-advertisers are getting more clever about hiding it
+sato yo so people who post vids can't comment any. More ??
they can comment about the video, if its not their own video under a diff account ASB GAMING
7:15 Yep, i found my "MOMENT OF ENLIGHTMENT" in this video. From now on, i will spend that money on my armored car instead of being nice to a person i wanted to be friends with. Thanks.
Drift0r, as a naturally nice guy whose feeling of realization and unity comes from the well-being of others, I can say there's no shame or detriment in being the last in line. When you've honed your abilites to their best, letting other people have the first go can be a very powerful driving force - for yourself. At least that's how I feel.
I came here from your Q&A with the guy that was going to be an accountant and wanted to be a youtube/twitch gamer. Both of those spoke to me on a personal level. I've also seen some of your other videos and they managed to give me the answers I want and keeping me interested, unlike other videos I've seen. They had me looking through the "recommended videos" before the 1:00 mark. Anyway, keep doing what you do.
I really love getting these intellectual philosophical commentaries that I can just listen to while i do my daily things. The gameplay is great but I actually enjoy the commentary more. Great job Driftor! Your content is quality, keep up the awesome work!
Yea my syster doesn't appreciate anything I do for her and whenever she feels like it she will talk in a negative tone with me or just call me names, bunch of names, out of the blue just because she can and in the 1% of cases when I talk back, she's the one getting offended and I'm the one who should apologize. ( typical feminazi ). Also the only reason I try and still have a decent relationship with her is because my dad. He's such a cool dude and has supported us for a long time and loves us to death but he's very strict when it comes to having a family and keeping it running. He's say he would get very mad with us and like not talk to us if we end up like my mom and uncle ( they are brother and sister and dont speak to eachother because of the uncle as mom's pretty cool ). So that's my situation.
My advice would be to tolerate your sister. Stop all the extra crap but still recognize that you are in fact family. If she really is a feminazi, the biggest advantage you can have is knowledge. Research whatever it is she's on about at the time so she can't be on her high horse and hopefully from there you can have a fucking conversation.
Don't do anything for her dude and whenever she calls you names do the same to her.
I’m glad these older Drift0r videos are getting recommended to me again. They are great
I don't know why but ever since I've found your channel I started watching your vids back to back. Awesome content man
Haha me too. All. Summer. Long.
Driftor for president
Thanks for the great video driftor... It really touches me on a deeper level with people that walk over me .. Just because I always listen and solve other people problems.. Putting others in front of myself... a guy even kissed my girlfriend while she was drunk when I arrived at the party( I crashed it) ... Just because he knows I wont resort to violence... And I still dont know if I should... But anyway.. Dont ever stop making these videos... Your the only channel I stay updated with I watch all your videos even games I dont play.. You truly are a great person to listen to and I hope that your inspirational videos reach you as deep as it has reached alot of your subscribers. Have a nice day Driftor hope you read this.
This is especially epic because I've been in the same situation doing and saying the same thing. My favorite line for the last couple years has been, "if you don't take care of yourself, you're no good to anyone else." It's hard to say no, but you certainly hit the nail on the head here.
I live in a very shitty city and no one goes out of their way to be friendly, so I don't either. People are really shitty so I just stay home, no friends. And most days I happy, but some days I wish I didn't feel the need for human company.
What city?
Are you in Nairobi or something?!
I think L.A or New York
mine is not that bad but its still bad so i agree
Dayton, Ohio. Its on lists of "Most Unfriendly City."
You're one of the few youtuber that i never get tired watching ! I can't wait for those Advanced Warfare Commentary and those in Depth ! :D
I remember back when I played CoD religiously, I ran into a riot shield clan on Mw2. Everyone had smoke grenades and riot shields, and they had one guy with a intervention picking people off from behind.
I myself am working on this. There's this guy at work (family owned business, and he's the son of the managers) who's always trying to get out of working. If he doesn't want to work, he'll borderline beg people to take his shift so he can "do homework". If he's working late, he's always complaining and asking everyone to take his late shift. And if any of us say no, he tries guilt tripping us. Then he goes and complains to his mom.
*Drift0r for Ted Talks!*
Love your videos drift0r!!! Been watching them for years since black ops 1! You are a great commentator and I love listening to you talk about stuff. Never gets old.
This is so true for high school. You always get these shitty teammates in group projects and there's this 'nice guy' that does all the work.
This commentary could not have come at a better time. This just what I needed. Thank you very much.
I agree, but with one important caveat. When you have children you should go out of your way to help them. Children, especially very young children, need a lot of time and attention and are very self-centered. As a parent you should be giving them a healthy amount of help and attention. However, you also need to know when to stand back and let them figure out something for themselves (which can be the hardest part). Obviously if they are going to get hurt in a major way you should step in, but if they keep making the same mistake about something and don't learn then you may need to step back. Let them make those mistakes when they are young and the stakes are lower instead of when they are older and the stakes are higher.
there was a quote in house of cards that stayed with me. "There are two kinds of vice presidents, doormats and matadors."
Your parents should be proud of you. Sounds like you're a great son and brother.
Stay strong dude.
I love your philosophy commentaries but I have a hard time finding them sometimes. It would be awesome if you could put them in a playlist. Not a big deal but it would be helpful. Good luck on your channel!
This spoke to me on a spiritual level. I'm going to start saying "no" more often.
Say no to your profile pic.
Clicking2Win never
will you?
Edgar Martinez No, you may not say no anymore in this webhold, do you understand or no?
Brad is a modern day Socrates
Does anyone remember John in the epic dream?He had the problem that he was a Slave.
Yes. YES.
That's why i like you drift0r.
Because of videos like this one.
Loved your thoughts, and I especially relate this to school. Something minor like pencils, everyone used to ask me for one last year, so this year I made it my duty to say no to everyone. Let's just say I got my point across, and it worked. The same goes for homework, I only help those that I know will help me with my homework.
Drift0r I'm sorry to hear about all of your troubles. The answer isn't a "doormat" nor its opposite, instead it's in the middle.
Good luck to you and for many who feel as you do. Perhaps as I had my stepson do sometimes you need a professional to help sort things out and in some cases medications can help which have come a long way. My stepson is now a great man with a bright and happy future ahead of him. In any case all my best to you!
Drift0r for president
You are the only TH-camr thats shaping my life in a diamond, So glad that I found you, keep doing and don't stop. :)
I personally appreciate this video. It hit me pretty hard as I definitely let my kindness get the best of me and leads to me struggling quite a bit to make ends meet.
i can relate to having to raise your family, last year i actually had to take off 6 months of high school to raise my 9 year old and 6 month old brothers while my mom was in the hospital. the 9 year old was easier to handle because I've already basically raised him when my mom had to work two jobs. really tough times, but their your family so you have to go that extra mile for them.
Never thought of it that way but getting people to do things for you is the best way to be liked and become some one the target person is invested in. Super cool phycological "finding".
The five-7 is a better gun compared to the tac 45.
higher fire-rate, lower recoil, and 20 rounds in the mag.
The trade off is damage and range
ZombieEater1001
They both do 55 damage at 10meters.
the 5-7 drops off faster, but you can win in smgs fights at medium range.
Nico Hillman
That's still 2 shots to kill 20meters.
Making the time 2 kill faster.
99% of PC players use the 5-7.
Sanic No its not. The damage drops to 45 at 3 meters, look at the stats. I'm not saying it's a worse pistol, but I know for sure the Tac45 has faster ttk from 3-10 meters.
Nico Hillman
Not if you get head shots.
Great commentary
The Tac is my favourite gun in Black Ops 2, the first gun I made a class for when I unlocked CaC on the day of release, the first gold gun I got in Bo2 (twice) and my 2nd most used weapon (by about 50 kills)
Drift0r this is why I'm subbed to you. I hate COD I despise it. But these talks are why your channel is one of my favorites.
That happened to me during junior year with some of my closest friends. My relationship with them was heavily damaged because of it, completely irreversible. Now, I'm much more picky with how I invest my energy into anybody's business.
I'm not a doormat, I'm more of a rug
The trick of getting someone to like you by them doing something for you is called the Benjamin Franklin effect.
Driftor is a modern day ancient Greek philosopher
My favorite commentary by you so far. Keep up good work, you're awesome :)
I love how you aren't afraid to say anything keep it up
I'd say I'm just like what Driftor talked about, except I'm not so helpful at home because I don't need to be. At school I won the leadership, citizenship, math and growth mindset awards at my grade 8 graduation. I consider myself quite the doormat so I only have a few close friends and others that after watching this video I think are using me. Thanks Driftor :)
I had a similar situation with this girl I really really liked. I'll keep a really long story kind of short but I was always as nice as I could be to her thinking that surely she would like me the same way. Well she knew how much I liked her and quickly realized that no matter what she did all she had to do was say sorry and I would instantly forgive her. This lasted several years before I started to realize that she really didn't care much about me at all. I finally decided to cut all ties with her. Unfortunately the damage was already done, and I was already suffering from a great amount of depression and suicidal thoughts. I told myself I would never let anyone treat me like that ever again. That was quite a few years ago. Today I am happily married with three children and am grateful that things ended up the way they did.
Im kind of glad I watched this video tbf. Recently ive hit a down point in my life as ive always prided myself as being a rock for others. I helped someone kick a drug habit and get out of depression. Ive done a lot for other people, but the other week it hit me how bad it is and out of control I get when I help. I payed for a friend's one night stand to go home as she disnt want him anymore. I cooked breakfast for 5 people because they all had bad heads from drinking. I even rubbed savlon on her knees from when she fell over and grazed them. It took a couple weeks to get over that.
The thing is, its one thing saying and onne thing doing. I normally feel good doing things like that as ive taught myself to be happy knowing ive helped someone. I dont do it for their attention or praise, rather self satisfaction. Im aware I have gone to extremes to help people out, but thats who I am, and if I cant accept and embrace that, how can I expect help in return when I need it?
If "Putting Your Hoof Down" taught me anything.......
I would also say do not mistake kindness for weakness. Nice people usually don't finish last, but its like the nice and weak people who do. Be nice but strong!
I'm the same way. Too nice. I spend hours upon hours listening to my friends stories about how their Boyfriends don't treat them well or how they can't find the right person. While I'm sitting there thinking about how I would fix it and how I would treat them. I feel trapped, unappreciated like I am just a diary. I'm tired of being a diary. But I never put my foot down.
I'm glad that you referenced "The Ben Franklin" effect in this video.
2:35 Schooled with the riot shield. This would make me rage.
Great video! I always know I need to stop being a doormat but it's nice to hear it from someone else
wherever you are theres never going to be someone who cant relate to this
being one of the shyest unluckiest and nicest guys around where I live I understand both perspectives of helping and being helped.
as someone who gets a lot and gives out help I think I can say with confidence that being a bit cruel and turning down the odd cry for assistance is necessary to be able to be kind to someone and yourself in the long run. but remember it cuts both ways
Thank You Drift0r, this really hit home, its hard not to be this person because you want to help everyone and be strong.. but it breaks us down:/
Thanks for the vid driftor, it really opened my eyes it really helps i had an "ungrateful" gf but we recently broke up and ive noticed that i wasnt the bad guy its probably for the best. Thanks man it honestly got me out of my little depression
Awesome video man,I'm going to show my gf this video she has a really bad habit of not doing anything for herself and doing everything for her family and then in return her family treats her like crap, I tell her all the time that's not good and she needs balance but she doesn't wanna listen to me hopeful you can persuade her 👍👍
Your videos truly are amazing and inspiring. It makes me feel better about who I am the way you look at things.
Thanks for sharing Drift, interesting knowing more about your personal life. Great video man, I hope some can learn from your experiences and personal findings.
The thing about making other people invest in you is actually really smart. If you do a bunch of stuff for this other person, if they don't want it then it will be perceived as annoying, and if they don't give anything back then you are letting them subconsciously put themselves above you because they get all this from you and aren't required to give anything back.
If you ask them to do things for you almost as often as you do things for them, first of all it puts you on even ground in terms of superiority, more of a partnership than a master/servant kind of thing. Secondly, if you invest in something, no matter what it is, you want to see that investment turn a profit. It's the same with people. You make people invest emotionally or with their time and such, and they are much less likely to just walk away or push you away because they have invested in you and want to see a profit, which in this case, is that they are more likely to want a relationship on some level (acquaintances, friends, etc) with you.
It might not make a whole lot of sense and I probably did a really bad job of explaining it, but think of it this way: If you get a co-worker/friend to tell you something really personal, like he/she's going through a divorce or a close family member just died, would it make sense for him/her to just walk away after and pretend it you don't know each other? No, because he/she has invested in you, in this case quite heavily, trusting you with something huge in their life and possibly wanting advice or help of some sort.
I dunno, let me know if this helped clarify anything, or if somebody has a better explanation. I love constructive criticism, but none of the "u suck go kill urself u make no sense" stuff please.
Great video Drift0r, this was pretty much my life in a nutshell.
Being a doormat is how you get friendzoned. Sometimes girls don't like a guy who is under their spell, sometimes they like a guy who can say NO
while i'm not the nicest person in the world, i will always try my best to aid anyone in need of help that i'm capable of, even if it means going out of my way to do so. honestly, i dont expect anything in return nor do i get joy out of helping. it's just my nature, i guess?
but i do feel a little disappointed when some people just dont show any form of appreciation; a word of 'thanks' will suffice.
am i being ironic? saying that i dont expect something in return but yet feel disappointment when unappreciated.
love you and your commentarys keep it up man!:)
I am the nice guy. And it's frustrating when even my "friends" won't do the smallest thing for me, when I do everything they ask...
This is so relevant to me right now Drift0r, I literally feel like I'm a doormat, I don't know why but I always put other before me, (self-sacrifice xD) I don't know how to change that, I'm just so used to serving people.
Probably the effects of a disfunctional home
You are such an inspirational person to me Driftor
I like these kinds of videos because your life is/was so much different than mine. I practically grew up in the opposite type of house than you and it's very interesting
Im in the same kinda boat. I like to think im a nice guy. And i like to help people out and make their day a little better. But theres just sometimes where u cant because they dont appreciate it or are being rude about it. So u just gotta step back sometimes and do whats best for u
Strangely enough I get some of that too for being the nice guy I couldnt bare to upset anyone but at least I balance things out by telling people what they should do instead so kind of helping in the mental way not the physical saves all the trouble!
Thank you. Thank you so much.
For what
0:06 "(...) no more mr. nice guy (...)" No more! Mr. Nice guy! No more! Mr. Cle eh EH EH EAN! No more! Mr. Nice guy! (they said) He's sick! He's obsce eH EH EAN!
I really love your videos.
Nice vid Driftor, I'm starting to think that I should subscribe for this kind of videos.
Totally agree on what you're saying, but that does not mean we should help others because of this possible exploitation from others. I feel like a lot of the audience here will take it to the extreme and wall themselves off. Helping others is always nice, but one should also have dignity while doing so. Going overboard helping others will attract scums to exploit you, but going overboard ignoring people will also screw you up in the long run. Find a balance and take pride in yourself, and no doubt you will be happy for the rest of your life.
This was an a plus thing to talk about and I really liked what you had to say
Is it bad if I'm like this, you kinda just described my life just without having to teach my mother. Which I have to say is very very Great of you Drif0r.
And there's one cure for all of that: Ethical egoism.
Why are you always so wise?! I really love your videos
Oakland, that's where I live and this video sort of resonates with me.
Good vid, a topic I really can relate too.
How did you break that pattern and honestly what did you do to evolve
An answer would mean a lot to me.
Been struggling with a similar history myself and I work on it but, there is a black hole, a empty room and I don´t know how to make a different choice.
Just start saying no or you cant
He said he broke it by knowing how to put himself before others.
I kinda figured out the whole family thing recently. I am the black sheep who plays cod and isn't going to b a doctor/ lawyer so I got a "talk about your future" meeting every few days. So I got a nice paying job, work 50 hours a week and im happy on my own. Its tougher when your young but just stand up for yourself and don't let people take control of your life.
Haha nice bruh. So long as you sustain yourself I don't see why you can't live your life your own way. A nice paying job is a nice paying job.
"Its better to be hurt by others than to hurt others"
-Kaneki
Great commentary.
Good advice driftor
I am the guy who is nice to everyone, but who is liked by no one. Being bullied is part of my childhood, and it has ruined me. I am 16 and I feel absolutely depressed. I came up to a point where I wanted to end it, although I'm glad I didnt. But I WISH people would ask me for help. I WISH people NEED me. But they don't. No one does.
I´ve learned it the hard way
I helped everybody at the same time, but it was to much and I cound´t say no. So after some time it all crushed down to me and I couldn´t satisfy anyone that I´ve tried to help. Everybody was disappointed, and so was I.
Thanks driftor you remind me a lot of my older sister of whom takes care of me and. You gave me in sight into what its like and now I'm gonna be nicer to her as I was not all to nice before
Just wondering, is 33,000 kills for a CoD game a lot?
That Combat Axe miss on 2;15 tough
You know how they tell you on planes to put on your oxygen mask before helping others? It's kind of a metaphor for life.