Transfer is about the conception of a baby. That is why she was ecstatic. Maybe the people with hurt necks were watching from their cars. The embryos that got away were too small for names. Sainthood was a reference to not doing the things that she was doing in the car that icy morning. Then I think she is being rewarded for being good. Her mother , the grandmother of the baby, is an angel and helped make the pregnancy happen. I do not think that adding the word “is” would be good before the scepter. I am confused about several points, but i think that poetry is often confusing to those who do not get every single detail.
thanks for the critique this week! i find it difficult to "hear" slant rhyme even when it's pointed out - i tend to think "but those don't sound like each other at all" - how do i get better at this, or is it something mostly innate?
I kind of like the last line because it hints that something bad is going to happen because of the deluge.
Transfer is about the conception of a baby. That is why she was ecstatic. Maybe the people with hurt necks were watching from their cars. The embryos that got away were too small for names. Sainthood was a reference to not doing the things that she was doing in the car that icy morning. Then I think she is being rewarded for being good. Her mother , the grandmother of the baby, is an angel and helped make the pregnancy happen. I do not think that adding the word “is” would be good before the scepter. I am confused about several points, but i think that poetry is often confusing to those who do not get every single detail.
in the second poem of the critique, i thought "the tiny green, blue, red peas / awash with salt polish" was referring to sea glass
thanks for the critique this week! i find it difficult to "hear" slant rhyme even when it's pointed out - i tend to think "but those don't sound like each other at all" - how do i get better at this, or is it something mostly innate?