It was always a pleasure watching Dave Allen on TV in the 70’s. It was a family event and what a fantastic story teller. It great to have TH-cam to see him whenever I want.
Dave Allen. You wake to the clock, you go to work to the clock, you clock-in to the clock, you clock out to the clock, you come home to the clock, you eat to the clock, you drink to the clock, you go to bed to the clock, you get up to the clock, you go back to work to the clock... You do that for forty years of your life and you retire - what do they fucking give you? A clock
@@mrserus7164 I was young so half the time I didn’t understand the one. But seeing my dad laugh made me laugh. As I got older I to my teens the jokes started making sense. Now that I’m 55 I’m pissing myself at how funny that stuff was. Him and Benny Hill. Man oh man.
On 18th May 1997 I saw a leprechaun, in velvet emerald coat and hat and shiny buckles, on a stile near Clifden in Connemara- he was crooning Galway Bay. I bade him good morning and we enjoyed a friendly little chat while he puffed on his pipe but then i ruined it by reaching for a camera and with a wink he was gone.
I believe you because I saw that self same leprechaun and he told me that one fine day he was singing Galway Bay in Connemara a fellow came along and they had a chat. Only when the bloke turned to reach for his camera did the leprechaun bugger off! And believe it or not, this was on the 20th May 1997! 😲 I didn't believe him at the time, but your story seems to tie in nicely.
Allen is as great now as when I first encountered him. He doesn't wilt with age. Rare in comedy world, not sure if any of the old greats seem fresh now. Seinfeld ages well too but as ensemble, Jerry solo I find well to put it kindly no Dave Allen.
His rival gets twice as much. So if the leprechaun reduces the man's desire for women by 50 percent, his rival's desire will be reduced by 100 percent, and he'll no longer desire the 20 beautiful women in his house.
Well he was an agnostic and he died a few years ago. My favorite bit of his was Jesus standing at the front door of a man knocking and shouting "Jeremy! Jeremy! Let me in I want to save you!" Jeremy repied, "Save me from what?" Said the Lord, "From what I'm gonna do to you if you don't let me in!"
Never a rude word, never abusive or derogatory to others, just very funny.
I agree. Those were the only things lacking.
He used plenty of rude words when he did live shows.
he was shamefully treated by the BBC for using a so-called rude word
in this sketch? yes
Yes hear hear!!
It was always a pleasure watching Dave Allen on TV in the 70’s.
It was a family event and what a fantastic story teller.
It great to have TH-cam to see him whenever I want.
We all gathered around the telly to watch him!
His irreverent catholic skits always made me feel a little naughty!😆😆
Dave Allen. You wake to the clock, you go to work to the clock, you clock-in to the clock, you clock out to the clock, you come home to the clock, you eat to the clock, you drink to the clock, you go to bed to the clock, you get up to the clock, you go back to work to the clock... You do that for forty years of your life and you retire - what do they fucking give you? A clock
Dave Allen was one of the best storytellers who ever lived.
Dave Allen was a gem. I remember watching him when I was a lad in the 70s and 80s on PBS. Back when they were great.
Dave allen will always be a legend in comedy..
My dad loved watching Dave Allen. Would laugh his ass off RIP dad.
My Dad would too, He's been gone many years, but I can still see him and hear him laughing with tears running down his face 😂
@@mrserus7164 I was young so half the time I didn’t understand the one. But seeing my dad laugh made me laugh. As I got older I to my teens the jokes started making sense. Now that I’m 55 I’m pissing myself at how funny that stuff was. Him and Benny Hill. Man oh man.
Being allowed to stay up late to see Dave Allen was the biz!
I remember back in the Day, laughing out loud to those lines by Dave Allen.
One of the greatest comedians ever!
Dave is the thinking man's comedian, loved him,
He was brilliant. Very intelligent man. I loved his shows on tv.
He's a long time gone but his magic lives on still nun better
None not Nun
I think he used nun instead of none as a joke because od Dave Allen's jokes about the catholic church.
One of my favorite comics growing up. Very funny man.
Killing it doing stand up... sitting down. Legend.
My all time fav joke, can't count how many times I've told it and I always give Dave credit for it.
Legend....He makes me laugh so much! His humour = expect the unexpected!
A true one off comedy gold and timing in abundance
You would still have to go a long way to find ANYBODY better at telling a tall tale.He was the master still unsurpassed
He was **brilliant!** We'll never see his like again!
mainly because he is dead
Thank you. He never has a joke fall flat.
I've heard a different version of the punchline...
"What d'ye want fer yer t'ird and final wish?"
"I want ye t' scare me half t' death!"
I heard the same joke years ago, but with a captured genie and the man asks to be beaten half to death!
Good One
I like that
I I heard a version where the man asked to have 1 testicle removed.
Brilliant as always Dave Allen RIP
Heard a different punch line:
"And now, what d'ye want fer yer t'ird and final wish?"
"Ye can take one of me kidneys".
That was outstanding!
For a moment I thought he said he was a tree leprechaun.
Then I realised I was barking up the wrong tree.
I bet he was great in the pub!
Absolutely fantastic
He was quite the dapper too brilliant class never dates 👍
The greatest!
We used to watch Dave Allen as a Family event . Mum , Dad , Three Kids and Pizza Hut Pizza .
One of the funniest jokes!
Brilliant.
On 18th May 1997 I saw a leprechaun, in velvet emerald coat and hat and shiny buckles, on a stile near Clifden in Connemara- he was crooning Galway Bay. I bade him good morning and we enjoyed a friendly little chat while he puffed on his pipe but then i ruined it by reaching for a camera and with a wink he was gone.
I believe you because I saw that self same leprechaun and he told me that one fine day he was singing Galway Bay in Connemara a fellow came along and they had a chat. Only when the bloke turned to reach for his camera did the leprechaun bugger off! And believe it or not, this was on the 20th May 1997! 😲
I didn't believe him at the time, but your story seems to tie in nicely.
Brilliant , 😂
The best 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂❤️❤️
The third wish in another version was "I want you to take out one of my kidneys."
love dave rip
Allen is as great now as when I first encountered him. He doesn't wilt with age. Rare in comedy world, not sure if any of the old greats seem fresh now. Seinfeld ages well too but as ensemble, Jerry solo I find well to put it kindly no Dave Allen.
They’ve tricked you as soon as you’ve accepted they have buried treasures.
One of the best
I don’t get it? Neither did O’Flaherty
What I want to know is, where do the "Crock of Gold" leprechauns get their crocks of gold from?
His third wish should have been: I want half of the two previous things I wished for taken away.
I've heard it with the third wish being, "I want to get beaten half to death..."
'take one of my eyes'
3 wishes I grant ye, great wishes or small, but if ye wish a 4th one then ya lose them all☘️
That's a good one.
Brilliant comedian 👍
A brilliant, brilliant comic. He'd be banned today, sad world that we live in!
I really don't think he would be.
I heard a version of this joke where the punch line was, "I'd like you to beat me half to death ..."
the master
ace
I expected him to say that he wished to donate a kidney
😂😂😂😂just love him ❤️❤️❤️
Timing and expression.
I thought he will ask for one ball to be taken away from him...
STEP #1: Eat magic mushrooms....
.... and if I had a face like you, I'd join the British Army.
my Dad would tell a version of that but the third wish was "i want to be beaten half to death"
💚
I heard a version of that where the punch line was beat me half to death. Edit oh see someone else posted that, sorry!
Most people born after about 1970 won't have the maths skills to understand this - percentages are too difficult for them.
Although leprechauns don't exist I do believe in them.
Although the leprechauns don't exist you do believe in them please get it straight dear
🤑💚☘
it is a great joke, for the time. i prefer the punchline, "& for your third wish"? I want you to beat me half to death! ;)
Ok...3rd wish... "Shorten me todger by half" 🥒👀
Or remove one of me testicles.
lol 😂
bean
Impotent 😆😅😂🤣
🤣🤣😂
😄
:))
Will anybody explain that joke to me
His rival gets twice as much. So if the leprechaun reduces the man's desire for women by 50 percent, his rival's desire will be reduced by 100 percent, and he'll no longer desire the 20 beautiful women in his house.
I got one excuse. I was drunk
@@alsnelding The perfect alibi
These TH-cam subtitles are dreadful 😑
This joke wouldn't work with an American accent.
He does use rude words! He blasphemes! I hope he accepts Jesus as His Saviour. But he is funny!
You're a bit mad aren't you!
@@malahammer Then Dave Allen had the best reply 'May your God go with you'.
@@51WCDodge he was way ahead of everyone with that line.
@@malahammer At the end of every show. Brilliant man.
Well he was an agnostic and he died a few years ago. My favorite bit of his was Jesus standing at the front door of a man knocking and shouting "Jeremy! Jeremy! Let me in I want to save you!" Jeremy repied, "Save me from what?" Said the Lord, "From what I'm gonna do to you if you don't let me in!"