Oh my days😮I've just realised I've performed most of my life outside my own 4 walls! Hardly anyone but my partner and my children really know who I am. I never mix work with home either cos I can't perform the same in front 9f the people who know me so well they'll guess it's a performance and be like " why are acting like that". I get called weird a lot when I do let my performance slip. At this point in my life it's left me confused as to who I really am and now I'm trying to find myself again and just be me. I have a shutdown period most days to cope if I've been n out of the house✌🏼💙
Only just watched this vlog and, OMG, this one is so relatable. I have performed and masked my entire life. I was only diagnosed at 47. I am now almost 51 and I haven’t shared my diagnosis with many people at all. I haven’t even told my parents. I have issues with identity and a lot of trouble maintaining friendships for the exact reasons you explained, Sara, it’s so exhausting.
The way you explain the experience of masking and its effects on your relationships is clearer than any other I've heard. It makes me realize how lucky I am to have friends who accept my burned out side as well. Even so, I still often isolate from them because I have a fear of disappointing the people I care about. I also really related to your explanation of being so extremely PRESENT with the people around you that it's exhausting.
I think I might be autistic but the therapist that I turned to for a bit of clarity kind of immediately dismissed my concerns (she seemed to think that being told I'm not autistic would come as a relief) because I was not socially awkward enough for her. I can't afford to go therapist shopping and I must admit the experience put me off reaching out to professionals for help. I see a lot of adults seem to be content with a self-diagnosis, but I swing from thinking that I definitely am to thinking that I'm just being silly and that I'm definitely not. I must admit that since I started looking in to autism I have kind of begun to feel a strange sense of peace, and have settled into being kind of self-comfortable (if that makes sense). But I still feel like I'm just being stupid and who am I to proclaim a diagnosis for myself? That's just mad! Will I always swing between yes and no here? Does it even matter that I don't know for sure? I actually don't even know what my question is here...
I don't think I even know how to word my questions at this point. Just trying to figure things out as I go. Not really something you can talk to friends or family about. They just make that awkward "oh that's interesting but I wish you would shut up now" sound.
Nadine Rose Larter OMG!!! I feel the same exact way! I’m actually seeking a diagnosis right now. I had and still do to a high degree, tho my psychologist gave me a lot of doubts about my knowledge of asd as a whole, tho I thought I had a pretty good grasp on it and doubts,... about myself? Learning about asd has given me nothing but relief and aha moments, I don’t understand why it’s so hard for “professionals” to diagnose women🙄 Anyways I’m seriously questioning if I’m ever going to get anywhere or if I’m just wasting my time whilst wondering whether or not I’m just delusional or something. I hope we both get good answers💕 good luck out there, at least I’m not the only one😅
There is nothing stopping you from privately considering yourself on the spectrum and using that to aid self-understanding. Proclaiming yourself autistic to the world or specific people won't really benefit you. If someone doesn't understand Autism then it's meaningless and they might just think you're making excuses If someone does understand Autism then it's likely they'll recognise your traits, adapt to them where possible and understand you better without you having to say anything. Turns out my Psychology teacher had done just that but never mentioned it to me/made it obvious. Only found out when my Mum talked to them after I had left 6th form - they were surprised to discover I hadn't been diagnosed. In some instances someone could take offence or be upset by someone 'self-labelling' maybe thinking they're 'jumping on the bandwagon'. It is certainly nice to have someone to talk to. By all means try to inform and educate those close to you about Autism, but approach it from the angle of "this is interesting, relevant and may help you understand people you meet, colleagues etc" rather than making it explicitly about you initially. But be prepared for people not to open to learning. People have different priorities and you may find it going-in-one-ear-and-out-the-other. In that case I hope that an online community like the Agony Autie Facebook can fill that role for you. I realise I'm a year late but hopefully this can benefit others in a similar situation.
Just discovering this channel and considering my own journey of possibly being on the spectrum. I’ve had a very similar experience. I think the reason I’d like an actual diagnosis is because I want to know if it’s anything else- something I can manage with certain therapy or medication. I struggle a lot and would like to know if there’s anything I can do to alleviate that or if I truly am just going to need to learn to live with a difference in processing without aided maintenance from an outside source. Does that make sense? anyway, I hope you’ve had some break through since writing this and if you have I’d love to hear it!
I'm so glad i found your channel! My son, 2.5 is autistic and non-verbal. Just watching some of your videos, and just thinking back to my childhood and growing up, to now...i may be autistic myself. I'm still trying to adjust to my son's diagnosis which was back in Feb. Looking forward to binge watching your videos and spreading awareness!
Helloooo!!! I have a 6 year old boy who is in the eval process, but I know his behaviors, and whatever it is called (high functioning autism, ADHD, SPD, A nice blend...), he definitely fits the bill. I am most concerned , like the mom of twins, about his social acceptance. I guess I'll be the one to help educate his teachers and counselor, ironically, about how he is not behaving in certain ways "purposefully" (his counselor wrote that about his invading others' personal space...) and about teaching neurotypical kids to not shame neurodiverse people by calling them "annoying" and "stupid"...I feel like he has fallen into a "role" in class, and he is only 6! We used to live in NYC; now we are in a small town in TN (DIFFERENT!) so there are not as many resources, groups, etc. I suppose we can always start a social group! I was also wondering how to help Anthony socialize, but Im getting ideas as I type. Bring him to places where he can meet others who share interests..Any other suggestions? I just found your videos today, and I love and appreciate you and what you are doing. You give comfort and support- and you see us!- to so many parents, kids AND adults who need affirmation and help! THANK YOU! I WILL be visiting patreon.com. You rock. Thanks again! Hugs from TN!
What happened to the audio in this episode? Maybe a adding denoise or pop/click filter in editing could help? It just seems a little unclean compared to other episodes. but other than that I like the multicam edits and that digital zoom at the end. As well as some great commentary. :)
Cheers for watching Nick! Yeah, sound is always a bit of stumbling block. Every new recording seems to throw up some unexpected technical difficulties, haha. Denoise and click filters were applied, I was just too lazy to go back and fine-tune it. You live and learn! - Liam
i hated school I was in isolation more times than i was in lesson but it was not due to bad behavior but needs that werent being met by teachers who just werent trained enough . I was once in isolation for five hours only allowed few toilet breaks . I didnt even have my lunch brcause i was too scared to say that my packlunch was in my bag that i didnt bring with me so i starved . I etched into my planner my feelings and broke down silently . Luckily my mam was in for a meeting that day she asked for me in the meeting and well they didnt let her know i was in isolation just that i was busy in a lesson I came into the meeting and there were many proffessionsld there . I couldnt even speak i was in such a state couldnt string a sentence together all becuase of the trauma of isolation rooms . The person at the meeting who was representing disabilities said your infringing on her rights your not doing right by her . So at the end of the meeting i was allowed to go home cos i was not in a fit state to stay even after a talk with my therapist i just needed out of there.. school has left me many scars that i am.still working through and i would hate for any other young pereon to go through what i have . Sorry for my terrible spelling . But the sad reality is i am just one of thousands whos effected in this way and it just shouldnt be . Things are now much better in a collage where people get it people are trained and no isolation i am.now thriving out of torture . But i know am not alone and thats sad ..
I like your videos a lot, you have info that is very useful to me. But the audio quality is really bad on some of them and it’s hard for me to listen to you while you’re eating. I had to stop playing while you were eating because you ate in a previous video, and then this one played and I nearly had a meltdown when you began eating. Not to be overly critical it’s just a lot of auditory info and some of it triggers misophonia. Maybe you can put a warning in the titles of your videos or in the descriptions about sounds.
Oh my days😮I've just realised I've performed most of my life outside my own 4 walls! Hardly anyone but my partner and my children really know who I am. I never mix work with home either cos I can't perform the same in front 9f the people who know me so well they'll guess it's a performance and be like " why are acting like that". I get called weird a lot when I do let my performance slip. At this point in my life it's left me confused as to who I really am and now I'm trying to find myself again and just be me. I have a shutdown period most days to cope if I've been n out of the house✌🏼💙
Only just watched this vlog and, OMG, this one is so relatable. I have performed and masked my entire life. I was only diagnosed at 47. I am now almost 51 and I haven’t shared my diagnosis with many people at all. I haven’t even told my parents. I have issues with identity and a lot of trouble maintaining friendships for the exact reasons you explained, Sara, it’s so exhausting.
The way you explain the experience of masking and its effects on your relationships is clearer than any other I've heard. It makes me realize how lucky I am to have friends who accept my burned out side as well. Even so, I still often isolate from them because I have a fear of disappointing the people I care about. I also really related to your explanation of being so extremely PRESENT with the people around you that it's exhausting.
Ma'am. I'm a now retired physician and pilot. I had no idea I was autistic and you have helped me a measurably. I will help you however I can.
I think I might be autistic but the therapist that I turned to for a bit of clarity kind of immediately dismissed my concerns (she seemed to think that being told I'm not autistic would come as a relief) because I was not socially awkward enough for her. I can't afford to go therapist shopping and I must admit the experience put me off reaching out to professionals for help. I see a lot of adults seem to be content with a self-diagnosis, but I swing from thinking that I definitely am to thinking that I'm just being silly and that I'm definitely not. I must admit that since I started looking in to autism I have kind of begun to feel a strange sense of peace, and have settled into being kind of self-comfortable (if that makes sense). But I still feel like I'm just being stupid and who am I to proclaim a diagnosis for myself? That's just mad! Will I always swing between yes and no here? Does it even matter that I don't know for sure? I actually don't even know what my question is here...
I don't think I even know how to word my questions at this point. Just trying to figure things out as I go. Not really something you can talk to friends or family about. They just make that awkward "oh that's interesting but I wish you would shut up now" sound.
Nadine Rose Larter OMG!!! I feel the same exact way! I’m actually seeking a diagnosis right now. I had and still do to a high degree, tho my psychologist gave me a lot of doubts about my knowledge of asd as a whole, tho I thought I had a pretty good grasp on it and doubts,... about myself? Learning about asd has given me nothing but relief and aha moments, I don’t understand why it’s so hard for “professionals” to diagnose women🙄
Anyways I’m seriously questioning if I’m ever going to get anywhere or if I’m just wasting my time whilst wondering whether or not I’m just delusional or something. I hope we both get good answers💕 good luck out there, at least I’m not the only one😅
There is nothing stopping you from privately considering yourself on the spectrum and using that to aid self-understanding.
Proclaiming yourself autistic to the world or specific people won't really benefit you.
If someone doesn't understand Autism then it's meaningless and they might just think you're making excuses
If someone does understand Autism then it's likely they'll recognise your traits, adapt to them where possible and understand you better without you having to say anything. Turns out my Psychology teacher had done just that but never mentioned it to me/made it obvious. Only found out when my Mum talked to them after I had left 6th form - they were surprised to discover I hadn't been diagnosed.
In some instances someone could take offence or be upset by someone 'self-labelling' maybe thinking they're 'jumping on the bandwagon'.
It is certainly nice to have someone to talk to. By all means try to inform and educate those close to you about Autism, but approach it from the angle of "this is interesting, relevant and may help you understand people you meet, colleagues etc" rather than making it explicitly about you initially. But be prepared for people not to open to learning. People have different priorities and you may find it going-in-one-ear-and-out-the-other. In that case I hope that an online community like the Agony Autie Facebook can fill that role for you.
I realise I'm a year late but hopefully this can benefit others in a similar situation.
Just discovering this channel and considering my own journey of possibly being on the spectrum. I’ve had a very similar experience. I think the reason I’d like an actual diagnosis is because I want to know if it’s anything else- something I can manage with certain therapy or medication. I struggle a lot and would like to know if there’s anything I can do to alleviate that or if I truly am just going to need to learn to live with a difference in processing without aided maintenance from an outside source. Does that make sense? anyway, I hope you’ve had some break through since writing this and if you have I’d love to hear it!
I so much appreciate you.
Awe that was sooo awesome :D I love how cute & funny & real u are!! Thank you for the videos x
I'm so glad i found your channel! My son, 2.5 is autistic and non-verbal. Just watching some of your videos, and just thinking back to my childhood and growing up, to now...i may be autistic myself. I'm still trying to adjust to my son's diagnosis which was back in Feb. Looking forward to binge watching your videos and spreading awareness!
your videos make me feel less lonely. as if we are friends. yay my first friend!
Helloooo!!! I have a 6 year old boy who is in the eval process, but I know his behaviors, and whatever it is called (high functioning autism, ADHD, SPD, A nice blend...), he definitely fits the bill. I am most concerned , like the mom of twins, about his social acceptance. I guess I'll be the one to help educate his teachers and counselor, ironically, about how he is not behaving in certain ways "purposefully" (his counselor wrote that about his invading others' personal space...) and about teaching neurotypical kids to not shame neurodiverse people by calling them "annoying" and "stupid"...I feel like he has fallen into a "role" in class, and he is only 6!
We used to live in NYC; now we are in a small town in TN (DIFFERENT!) so there are not as many resources, groups, etc. I suppose we can always start a social group! I was also wondering how to help Anthony socialize, but Im getting ideas as I type. Bring him to places where he can meet others who share interests..Any other suggestions?
I just found your videos today, and I love and appreciate you and what you are doing. You give comfort and support- and you see us!- to so many parents, kids AND adults who need affirmation and help! THANK YOU! I WILL be visiting patreon.com.
You rock. Thanks again! Hugs from TN!
🤟🏽🥰
What happened to the audio in this episode? Maybe a adding denoise or pop/click filter in editing could help? It just seems a little unclean compared to other episodes. but other than that I like the multicam edits and that digital zoom at the end. As well as some great commentary. :)
Cheers for watching Nick! Yeah, sound is always a bit of stumbling block. Every new recording seems to throw up some unexpected technical difficulties, haha. Denoise and click filters were applied, I was just too lazy to go back and fine-tune it. You live and learn! - Liam
i hated school I was in isolation more times than i was in lesson but it was not due to bad behavior but needs that werent being met by teachers who just werent trained enough . I was once in isolation for five hours only allowed few toilet breaks . I didnt even have my lunch brcause i was too scared to say that my packlunch was in my bag that i didnt bring with me so i starved . I etched into my planner my feelings and broke down silently . Luckily my mam was in for a meeting that day she asked for me in the meeting and well they didnt let her know i was in isolation just that i was busy in a lesson
I came into the meeting and there were many proffessionsld there . I couldnt even speak i was in such a state couldnt string a sentence together all becuase of the trauma of isolation rooms . The person at the meeting who was representing disabilities said your infringing on her rights your not doing right by her . So at the end of the meeting i was allowed to go home cos i was not in a fit state to stay even after a talk with my therapist i just needed out of there.. school has left me many scars that i am.still working through and i would hate for any other young pereon to go through what i have . Sorry for my terrible spelling . But the sad reality is i am just one of thousands whos effected in this way and it just shouldnt be . Things are now much better in a collage where people get it people are trained and no isolation i am.now thriving out of torture . But i know am not alone and thats sad ..
I like your videos a lot, you have info that is very useful to me. But the audio quality is really bad on some of them and it’s hard for me to listen to you while you’re eating. I had to stop playing while you were eating because you ate in a previous video, and then this one played and I nearly had a meltdown when you began eating. Not to be overly critical it’s just a lot of auditory info and some of it triggers misophonia. Maybe you can put a warning in the titles of your videos or in the descriptions about sounds.
I can't listen to this one :(