went from being in awe of the food to crying after u talked abt the letter from ur sister. i think that part got to me bc i adore my siblings and i cant imagine that kind of strain in our relationship. i hope love and acceptance surrounds you for the rest of your life, u deserve it ❤️
forgive my sharing: i grew up in the South with a schizophrenic mother. we went to our local southern baptist church every sunday and wednesday; her family were devout catholics, the kind where i had a dozen aunts and uncles and alcoholism ran in the family; i went to an episcopalian school. i spent years begging God to fix her, to fix my life, listening to her scream at my sisters and rant to rapists that weren’t there. it didn’t work; i hated God. then i hated all the people that told me to pray, rather than actually helping me. i related heavily to the story of a drowning man, who sees a boat pass by: when he begs for help, the person in the boat tells him to pray about it, then rows away. i also related to your story about the movie, because i felt similarly after watching cabrini earlier this year. a young italian immigrant, sent by the pope to minister in a deeply anti-italian new york, overcomes everything and spends every moment of every day embodying christ, until she dies of a wasting disease. like you said, im tearing up just thinking of it! i was sobbing in the theater, along with all the old christian white people who were watching it with me (i’d gotten in for free). and like you said, christianity lures you back; like a bad ex, makes you think maybe you were the one you did something wrong, or maybe that if you could give it a second shot, things would go right this time. and then yes, with things such as the election, such as holding Donald fucking Trump up as the representative of Christ, you realize that what christianity represents these days is not love, or devotion, or kindness and acceptance. i’m sorry to the child you that had to learn this the hard way. i’m sorry to child me, too. i’m happy you’re still making videos. and i pray (yes, pray, for whatever it does) that some day your little sister will accept you for who you are. much love ❤
@@odddsbodkins mahalo nui loa, please don’t apologize for your sharing, it was very good to read. i’m sorry you understand so deeply, i respect you greatly.
I really hope to see from you again. This video connects with me aswell because of my own past and I look up to you because of your strength. Thank you 🙏
Nah I have free will. My life is fucked because I made choices. My life is improving because I am making choices. I am what I choose to be and I can change that
@ your whole end point was that you were always going to be a square among what you perceived as triangles. You escaped a bad setup and have ultimately come to the justification that this was inevitable. You abandoned your agency for the cold comfort of believing that you had no part to play in your life. I have been there and I believed was better than I was before. There is a minor truth to be found in that way of thinking. The truth I found is that I can’t change what is done to me but I can change how I prepare and how I react. Back when I believed that I was what I was destined to be, the only end I could see was to end it myself. I hope you can change your view before you take the same path as me or at the very least, I hope you survive.
@ no, my point was that my orientation and identity were things i was born with and always will be. i do believe in personal responsibility and consequences, but i am also seemingly more aware than you how much luck and personal circumstance plays a role in your behaviors and decision making. hope you find some grace, understanding and compassion for yourself soon.
I love the way you articulate your thoughts, incredibly underrated channel
ty ^^
went from being in awe of the food to crying after u talked abt the letter from ur sister. i think that part got to me bc i adore my siblings and i cant imagine that kind of strain in our relationship. i hope love and acceptance surrounds you for the rest of your life, u deserve it ❤️
it’ll be okay i believe, ty :)
forgive my sharing: i grew up in the South with a schizophrenic mother. we went to our local southern baptist church every sunday and wednesday; her family were devout catholics, the kind where i had a dozen aunts and uncles and alcoholism ran in the family; i went to an episcopalian school. i spent years begging God to fix her, to fix my life, listening to her scream at my sisters and rant to rapists that weren’t there. it didn’t work; i hated God. then i hated all the people that told me to pray, rather than actually helping me. i related heavily to the story of a drowning man, who sees a boat pass by: when he begs for help, the person in the boat tells him to pray about it, then rows away.
i also related to your story about the movie, because i felt similarly after watching cabrini earlier this year. a young italian immigrant, sent by the pope to minister in a deeply anti-italian new york, overcomes everything and spends every moment of every day embodying christ, until she dies of a wasting disease. like you said, im tearing up just thinking of it! i was sobbing in the theater, along with all the old christian white people who were watching it with me (i’d gotten in for free). and like you said, christianity lures you back; like a bad ex, makes you think maybe you were the one you did something wrong, or maybe that if you could give it a second shot, things would go right this time. and then yes, with things such as the election, such as holding Donald fucking Trump up as the representative of Christ, you realize that what christianity represents these days is not love, or devotion, or kindness and acceptance. i’m sorry to the child you that had to learn this the hard way. i’m sorry to child me, too. i’m happy you’re still making videos. and i pray (yes, pray, for whatever it does) that some day your little sister will accept you for who you are. much love ❤
@@odddsbodkins mahalo nui loa, please don’t apologize for your sharing, it was very good to read. i’m sorry you understand so deeply, i respect you greatly.
I really hope to see from you again. This video connects with me aswell because of my own past and I look up to you because of your strength. Thank you 🙏
Oh wow, the algorithm has absolutely blessed me today. Love the way you speak, love the content, food looks good. Keep it up ❤️
really kind of you, all of it, ty
Didn’t really need to cry more today but thank you.
Damn it seems the YT algorithm knows me better than i know myself. Good video 👍didn't know i needed that until it found me
thank you for these videos, i cherish your vulnerability so much, it's hard to find online and it's a good reminder that we're human beings
tx yt algorithm and tx for the video
as a very depressed chef myself, i’m happy about this algorithm recommendation
side effect of the job heh
@ more like a chicken or egg situation for me lol
@ fair!
Damn imma need to go though your whole catalog now 😂
glad this got recommended to me
Your videos are so beautiful in such a melancholic way
ty it permeates all parts of my existence
I love you too.
hope to hear from you again
watching this makes me want to cook
if you can read you can cook! go cook!
You just like me fr
I am glad this video reached me. i am taking my friend and all her catholic guilt and gayness to go and see Conclave tomorrow
@@luckyygrrl pls lmk how they like it! one of my other friends keeps seeing it over and over ^^
see ya soon maybe, pal
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Nah I have free will. My life is fucked because I made choices. My life is improving because I am making choices. I am what I choose to be and I can change that
you’ve misunderstood the point of this video, if you even watched it at all.
@ your whole end point was that you were always going to be a square among what you perceived as triangles. You escaped a bad setup and have ultimately come to the justification that this was inevitable. You abandoned your agency for the cold comfort of believing that you had no part to play in your life. I have been there and I believed was better than I was before. There is a minor truth to be found in that way of thinking. The truth I found is that I can’t change what is done to me but I can change how I prepare and how I react. Back when I believed that I was what I was destined to be, the only end I could see was to end it myself. I hope you can change your view before you take the same path as me or at the very least, I hope you survive.
@ no, my point was that my orientation and identity were things i was born with and always will be. i do believe in personal responsibility and consequences, but i am also seemingly more aware than you how much luck and personal circumstance plays a role in your behaviors and decision making. hope you find some grace, understanding and compassion for yourself soon.