It'd be like dragging the sticks in the mud with the 2nd century warlord copypasta, except they wouldn't have any purpose in the first place but they'd still think we were so beyond them that we needed a cigarette smoking machine or that the useless boxes had sim6e other purpose
There's a funny HFY short story (I've lost the link 😢) where an alien talks about a massive, mysterious, and indestructible structure built by ancient humans. Countless ships of countless species have come to challenge the guardian that resides within, but the guardian always wins in the end. It soon becomes clear to the reader that it's just a massive useless machine humans built to troll the galaxy and the "challenge" is just to flip the switch and see if you can make it out of the system before the guardian flips it back.
That machine reminded me of my old RC firetruck I had as a kid. It didnt go on radio waves but with a cable from the controller to the truck. You had to always walk with it because the cable was quite short. I still have the truck today parked on a shelf in the living room. (the controller and cable is now gone, The elctronics broke down and (with some help) I removed the cable bc it was useless, and so I could play with it as a regular toy car. Only 10 times bigger.)
The 'useless' hammer machine is, in fact, a trip-hammer, which over the centuries, is probably one of the most USED and USEFUL machines ever, having been used, in a scale-up form, by hundreds, if not thousands, of black-smiths, miners, millers....
It's more about the design of the machine and over the contextual application of it's praticity ; the hammer, as presented here, is not really an efficient design compared to that of the trip-hammer used by professionnals. Because if we are to go with your logic - wich in itself is perfectly rationnal - the mecanism and schematic serving as basic of the "smoking machine" is also useful when taking and converting material on an assembly line - in this example going from "cigarette" (raw ressource) to "ash" (by-product).
Tenhys No, not really. Because you can scale the smoking machine up and down how you want, and it'll still just be a machine meant to smoke cigarettes, which in and of itself is useless. A trip-hammer, however, isn't useless, and, scaled up, is a fundamental part of humanity reaching where it is.
***** I wasn't talking about the scale but the schematical design and contextual application. The "smoking" part comes from using "manipulation/placement" (like in an assembly line) then "ignition" (the lighter) then "aspiration" (vacuum or the like) and then disposal. Here cigarette is used as an example of "transformable material" and not "finished product" (what a cigarette is). But, for such design, it doesn't necessarily requires it to be focus only on "cigarette" specifically, as presented in this video. Same thing for "the switch that turns itself off". In it's current mechanical and contextual application it is definitively useless. But get rid of the "arm" part and add a timer that you could set time yourself and you'll basically have what is currently found on almost every modern electronicle devices today.
Tenhys Lord... Are you trying to be all arteest, or something? None of the machines in the video has any use except the hammer one, because it's a trip-hammer, which is, and have been, used in the vast majority of iron works and blacksmith shops for the past several centuries. Simple as that.
***** What ? "Arteest" ? What's that ? Look, i don't exactly know what is your problem about not understanding the difference between a schematic from it's working principle and the practicity over a specific application of it. So i'll make it simple for you : the principle of a hammer is to forcefully push something onto another thing by hitting it repeatedly. A trip-hammer follow that principle by being a machine allowing the user(s) to have anything they want "hammered" down in their stead. That's the principle behind it and, consequently, the schematic follow's in it's design from an industrial perspective. However there's not a single blacksmith, engineer or mechanic that would use the one in the video, being clearly impractical in it's use by it's design. This logic extend to the other machines as well - any machine, really. A poorly designed schematic of a good mechanical process will be looked upon as wasteful, like here. "The switch that turns itself off" is following a logic that is no different from the in-build timer of a cooking induction plate : you set the time and once it's spend the plate turns itself off. Had there be no timer, or barely a switch that imediatly turns the plate off barely a second after you activate it, there would be no difference with the one we're seeing in this video. It's simple.
I fail to see how having a machine that can automatically apply an exact amount of force to the exact same area over and over again can be considered useless. What you have is a power hammer, which is used in many modern smithies for performing the general shaping of a large piece of metal so that you can finish up by hand.
I love the text for number 7, "careful you don't get a nail near it or you might accidentally get some work done". It's so wonderfully smart-ass-ish. :P
Entropy is being wasted in monstrously humongous amount by physical processes all over the universe, so basically whatever insignificant thing humans can do is practically by cosmic standards. Besides, we are yet to know if there's some natural process that reverses entropy, which is perfectly possible and it's not being reconsidered by scientists...
0:02 The Waiting Machine 0:19 Multi-Switch 0:35 Chain Conveyor 0:50 The Hammer 1:07 The Duel 1:22 The Smoking Machine 1:38 The Unplugged 1:54 The Basic Coffin 2:10 Eternal Sweeping 2:26 The Basic Box
sporebean 22 Yes, i'm sure a made up police will come across the ocean to mess me up. Why would he come across an ocean you ask? Because wherever you come from they speak the language "Stupid".
Katzen4u Forgot to respond but basically this. It takes a little bit of force to pull out a british standard plug, and because the cable comes out perpendicular to the pins rather than parallel, its much harder, if not near impossible, to accidentally pull out while using an appliance.
The Basic Coffin at 1:55 reminds me of a piggy bank I had as a child in the 70s. A plastic black box with a coin-slot. When you put a coin on the slot, the battery-driven mechanism was activated. A green hand popped out and grabbed the coin.
The hammer machine is based on a system used many hundreds of years ago, where very large hammers were moved by a waterwheel or mules, and the smith simply had to place the hot iron under it and give it the desired angle.
I don't think the Chain Conveyor 0:35 is useless. It is a work of art. Most people would enjoy looking at it for a while. Enjoyment is useful state of mind. Is this device a product available to buy?
If this was a short from another country the title is gonna be like: AMAZING MACHINES INVENTED BY THE SUPREME GENIUS OF ANY KIND VERY USEFUL FOR HOME!!! MUST WATCH!!!…
I remember back in my younger, more perverted days, this chick and I were partying at my place and I had some small electric dc motors I had pulled out of an old VCR sitting in drawer by the phone (If you're familiar with the wall mount corded phones, you know the significance of the drawer by the phone). But anyhoo, I took that little motor and I had some kind of cigar shaped cylindrical tube rounded on one end and open on the other. And that opening was just large enough to press in the little VCR motor with the shaft facing outward, but not extending past the opening edge. Then I looked in my little jar and found a weird specialty bolt that I could lock on to the motor shaft that fit inside the cigar shaped cylinder. Using a 12vdc adapter, I was able to power up the little motor inside the cylinder and the weird bolt I locked down on the motor shaft was offset and had enough mass to shake the hell out of that thing. It sounded like a weedeater. It shook like one too. That's about as descriptive as I can get with my experiment of mechanical uselessness. And it turned out not to be useless at all. And it was a really great way to get to know somebody. But I really dig your crazy machines. Your creativity leads me to believe that you might be somewhat of a nut. And I mean that in a good way.
Imagine archaeologists finding these after atm thousand years and then not knowing what are these used for
I wonder if it's the same thing with Atlantis. We thought it's a real place, probably it's just a work of fiction.
It'd be like dragging the sticks in the mud with the 2nd century warlord copypasta, except they wouldn't have any purpose in the first place but they'd still think we were so beyond them that we needed a cigarette smoking machine or that the useless boxes had sim6e other purpose
✨ceremonial purposes✨
There's a funny HFY short story (I've lost the link 😢) where an alien talks about a massive, mysterious, and indestructible structure built by ancient humans. Countless ships of countless species have come to challenge the guardian that resides within, but the guardian always wins in the end. It soon becomes clear to the reader that it's just a massive useless machine humans built to troll the galaxy and the "challenge" is just to flip the switch and see if you can make it out of the system before the guardian flips it back.
@@serpentinious7745 sounds like something humans would do if we reach a 2 on the kardashev scale
The unplugging machine is actually a superintelegent AI that found that his own life is meaningless
MARVIN???
That machine reminded me of my old RC firetruck I had as a kid.
It didnt go on radio waves but with a cable from the controller to the truck. You had to always walk with it because the cable was quite short.
I still have the truck today parked on a shelf in the living room. (the controller and cable is now gone, The elctronics broke down and (with some help) I removed the cable bc it was useless, and so I could play with it as a regular toy car. Only 10 times bigger.)
Never before in my life have I related more to a machine
Balke DaQuino proud to be the 69th like
wow look at you youre so edgy
are you happy now? did you get the attention you wanted? was it worth the likes?
JOJATŌ someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed
@@jojato3924 sorry moody Margaret
That smoking machine is actually used by cigarette manufacturers for quality control by seeing how long it takes to burn entirely.
Why fool poor people with useless facts?
It’s not useless it shows it’s not a useless machine :(
It can also be used to observe the effects to things (air, creatures) when contacting the smoke
@@hkr1276 why fool if it's a fact?
That's confusing
1:23 "made my dad into a machine"
That depends, was he Camel smoker?
they forgot the short temper
r/cursedcomments
F
Mine went out for some cigarettes to the convenience store.
The unplugging machine just wants to die
Mr Meeseeks machine
no one like let it stay at 69
Joshua246123 don’t we all
Me: plugs in the machine
Machine: "kill me!" moves away unplugs and dies
*lather rinse repeat*
Lego im mr meeseeks look at me
0:51 just put an anvil where the hammer hits and you have a auto blacksmitch
@Hindi kahani kids no
This machine is too useful to be on this list
@@not2tired that's what I thought
Ah, but you see, then it wouldn’t be useless anymore.
Yea... I use one for blacksmithing! Its called a powerhammer
The 'useless' hammer machine is, in fact, a trip-hammer, which over the centuries, is probably one of the most USED and USEFUL machines ever, having been used, in a scale-up form, by hundreds, if not thousands, of black-smiths, miners, millers....
It's more about the design of the machine and over the contextual application of it's praticity ; the hammer, as presented here, is not really an efficient design compared to that of the trip-hammer used by professionnals. Because if we are to go with your logic - wich in itself is perfectly rationnal - the mecanism and schematic serving as basic of the "smoking machine" is also useful when taking and converting material on an assembly line - in this example going from "cigarette" (raw ressource) to "ash" (by-product).
Tenhys No, not really. Because you can scale the smoking machine up and down how you want, and it'll still just be a machine meant to smoke cigarettes, which in and of itself is useless.
A trip-hammer, however, isn't useless, and, scaled up, is a fundamental part of humanity reaching where it is.
*****
I wasn't talking about the scale but the schematical design and contextual application. The "smoking" part comes from using "manipulation/placement" (like in an assembly line) then "ignition" (the lighter) then "aspiration" (vacuum or the like) and then disposal. Here cigarette is used as an example of "transformable material" and not "finished product" (what a cigarette is). But, for such design, it doesn't necessarily requires it to be focus only on "cigarette" specifically, as presented in this video.
Same thing for "the switch that turns itself off". In it's current mechanical and contextual application it is definitively useless. But get rid of the "arm" part and add a timer that you could set time yourself and you'll basically have what is currently found on almost every modern electronicle devices today.
Tenhys Lord...
Are you trying to be all arteest, or something?
None of the machines in the video has any use except the hammer one, because it's a trip-hammer, which is, and have been, used in the vast majority of iron works and blacksmith shops for the past several centuries. Simple as that.
*****
What ? "Arteest" ? What's that ?
Look, i don't exactly know what is your problem about not understanding the difference between a schematic from it's working principle and the practicity over a specific application of it.
So i'll make it simple for you : the principle of a hammer is to forcefully push something onto another thing by hitting it repeatedly. A trip-hammer follow that principle by being a machine allowing the user(s) to have anything they want "hammered" down in their stead. That's the principle behind it and, consequently, the schematic follow's in it's design from an industrial perspective. However there's not a single blacksmith, engineer or mechanic that would use the one in the video, being clearly impractical in it's use by it's design.
This logic extend to the other machines as well - any machine, really. A poorly designed schematic of a good mechanical process will be looked upon as wasteful, like here. "The switch that turns itself off" is following a logic that is no different from the in-build timer of a cooking induction plate : you set the time and once it's spend the plate turns itself off. Had there be no timer, or barely a switch that imediatly turns the plate off barely a second after you activate it, there would be no difference with the one we're seeing in this video. It's simple.
1:49 "Yes!! I've been turned on, I'm going on a big adventure, see ya su-- oh."
The poor machine.. so excited, so happy.. so much looking forward to it's future.. little does it realize....
😢😢😢
I fail to see how having a machine that can automatically apply an exact amount of force to the exact same area over and over again can be considered useless. What you have is a power hammer, which is used in many modern smithies for performing the general shaping of a large piece of metal so that you can finish up by hand.
I love the text for number 7, "careful you don't get a nail near it or you might accidentally get some work done". It's so wonderfully smart-ass-ish. :P
They increase entropy.. expediting the heat death of the universe.
OH SH
I accept your theorem
so that they'll really be left alone. bravo
They also make universal heat death incrementally more entertaining
Entropy is being wasted in monstrously humongous amount by physical processes all over the universe, so basically whatever insignificant thing humans can do is practically by cosmic standards.
Besides, we are yet to know if there's some natural process that reverses entropy, which is perfectly possible and it's not being reconsidered by scientists...
The unplugging machine is the brilliant one.
I wanted to see what happened when the cigarette machine smoked a cigarette down to the filter.
Or for when you absolutely cannot take that first Puff. A smoke butler
Ahh the second hand smoke machine, also known as lung cancer anator
1:40
Human: Be alive my creation!
Creation: *No I don't think I. Will*
Human: "IT'S ALIIIIIIIVE!!!!"
Creation: "Haha, OH YEAH!?" *[unplugs self]*
half of them were the same damn concept.. did you even try?
ka
The Real Harambe
I
It turns out that the most useless machine....is people.
Were not machines but robots are.
0:02 The Waiting Machine
0:19 Multi-Switch
0:35 Chain Conveyor
0:50 The Hammer
1:07 The Duel
1:22 The Smoking Machine
1:38 The Unplugged
1:54 The Basic Coffin
2:10 Eternal Sweeping
2:26 The Basic Box
1:32 finally I can get that second hand smoke with out smoking
Title: 10 Useless Machines That Do Nothing
Video: 10 Amazing Machines That Do Nothing
Spot 1 diffrence.
I would have enjoyed the video if it had your title. As it is im somewhat offened.
+sporebean 22 you are 12 and spell that bad? Wow
sporebean 22 I honestly only understood the words "I" and "Big" stop crying in school and get a proper education.
sporebean 22 Yes, i'm sure a made up police will come across the ocean to mess me up. Why would he come across an ocean you ask? Because wherever you come from they speak the language "Stupid".
+Turd Of Time WHY DO I ALWAYS START THESE 20 COMMENT CONVERSATIONS!?
Once again, youtubes great recommendation has brought us all together
I searched for it
@@adityaganjoomech me 2
Here for recommendations my brother in TH-cam
@@adityaganjoomech yes, me too
Video: _useless machines_
5: *_cigarette smoker_*
Humans who smoke: 👁👁
#1: the person watching this
Everone that read this comment just got roasted
Oof
Big oof
@Schae MeuL333 oof
How does this comment only have 29 likes. It is the M. Night Shyamalan twist at the end of the video.
I hope that U'll make a video 10 most useless videos on youtube and this one will be there.
not useless, they're all art
1:51
IT JUST WANTS TO END IT'S LIFE BEING USELESS!
Yeah, it doesn't just goes straight to take plug off, it goes to do a suicide, but since plug turns off it fails :`-(
@Hindi kahani kids go away
The title is pretty redundant
IE useless. You see the joke?
Adam Mullarkey 🐮
Vijay Kumar mgMnjjieiioaiuuiwjjjjnnm.7 (
GengarWarrior ajsb3hi
GengarWarrior
"You Haven't see shit, I'm the Elon Musk of Bad Ideas"
If there is a light in coffin it would be better
Like :
Me :light on
Mummy : Let me sleep
the smoking machine could really piss people off it has a use and i want one
-Sir, no smoking indoors.
-Oh, I'm not smoking!
exactly! XD
I WANT ONE
if i ever had one i would hide it behind my princebals desk XD
steevanator otto fuck yea I want one too. wish I had one when I quit smoking that would have been funny
The machine that unplugs itself- officially will not work in the UK.
+Napalm Flame How so?
Different plugs.
Katzen4u
Forgot to respond but basically this. It takes a little bit of force to pull out a british standard plug, and because the cable comes out perpendicular to the pins rather than parallel, its much harder, if not near impossible, to accidentally pull out while using an appliance.
ThomasTheSailor Chubby Pretty sure the American stereotype wins the prize there.
ThomasTheSailor Chubby
Gotta hand it to you, it wasn't bad!
So the same machine takes up like 6 spots. Maybe you should have just made a top 5 list.
iwhduwv
Có
0:59 This is not a goddamn useless machine. It's a trip hammer.
This particular one is
The Basic Coffin at 1:55 reminds me of a piggy bank I had as a child in the 70s. A plastic black box with a coin-slot. When you put a coin on the slot, the battery-driven mechanism was activated. A green hand popped out and grabbed the coin.
These all do something lol
Edison Brower 5
Machine: "What is my purpose?"
Rick: "To pass butter."
Most of these devices are usable concepts for more complex inventions.
Yes, some of the inventions might have a bit of fixing and upgrading and it can be useful
0:50 ah, yes
The neighbor automated machine
Am I the only one who thought the thumbnail was a Cigarette Machine Gun?
Terrible list, 4 of the machines were the same thing. So 7 useless machines.
Dude do you know how to count? Like you said 4 machines are the same but after that you said 7 useless machines. Wouldn't it be 6 useless machines?
+Nathan Lin No because 4 are the same meaning you drop 3. 10 - 3 = 7
+Thomas Gregoire go home, you're drunk!
+Oliver Amorim Dont tell me what to do! [passes out in street]
Lol
Because looping the same ten seconds of shitty music for two minutes couldn't possibly be annoying as hell...
+fredex8 as you watch a video on useless machines... lol
Russell Rehak
Xxx
you showed the same thing like 6 times, i forget how many exactly because i stopped paying attention.
This guy hates nachine
0:19
Anytime 2 people try to fix lights in Among Us.
The device that automates a hammer is actually a hammer mill, a very useful machine for all sorts of pounding, pressing, and crushing tasks.
here are 10 machines blah blah,,, list the same one over and over again but in different boxes
HB
chinna H yehddydf6ee
Jack Skellington ah, the typical “I hate apple and have to tell it everywhere.”
chinna H hi try
Carbon Addiction
10 useless machines but 4 are almost the same.....
And the hammer thing was a power hammer which is really useful for blacksmiths,whitesmiths,and miners.
Shadowjason
the hammer is not a useless machine! it's copied from a mill-powered hammer, common in middle age
10 Useless Machines That Do Nothing
*22miiliom people :- Interestiing*
0/10 humans aren’t on this list
dude why are you gonna be on this list
The first one can be a clash of clans infinite shield xD
Yup 😂
+Phosnub but you need to crank it tho
+Mahal Cruz right
***** true, true
If you are on CoC for around 8 hours straight. You get kicked off for five minutes, and usually you get attacked in that time.
CLICKBAIT! they all do something!
1:39 This is just a Deprest robot that takes his own life by unplugging itself
Imagine if Ricks butter robot saw this.
The hammer machine is based on a system used many hundreds of years ago, where very large hammers were moved by a waterwheel or mules, and the smith simply had to place the hot iron under it and give it the desired angle.
5 out of the ten r the exact same thing ...
none of these is a console
*are
If you are going to be a PC master race
Atleast have proper grammar because this is an essay and not the internet
1:57
The childhood toy of the coffin dance squad
DEADMEME
That chain conveyor is a good installation art, not useless!
Me: ugh I'm bored
TH-cam:
*hey buddy r u bored? Watch this!*
What is my purpose?
I'll get in on some of that butter passing; got some toast here that needs some extra!
You pass butter
Ya pass budder Wubba labba dub dub!!!!
To search for purpose.
Well if it's your purpose, then you have a purpose.Paradox.
I want the unplugger
loooool why
+fusion 890 it's hilarious
Me Too LOL
me too but i cant the plugs are impossible to pull out :( in UK
+jack theninja just makes it all the more useless
"leave me alone" is the best. its like a moody teeanger :)
That unplugging machine is suicidal and should see a therapist.
That's what engineers invent during lockdown 😂😂
The unplugger is hilarious! I actually want one.
Use less machines that do nothing!
21M people: this looks interesting.
This explains me perfectly 👌
I don't think the Chain Conveyor 0:35 is useless. It is a work of art. Most people would enjoy looking at it for a while. Enjoyment is useful state of mind. Is this device a product available to buy?
Nobody:
Me:
**comes here because of a meme**
most of these are just the same thing
9724221515
Chchudaliya ARasid Buai
ASSWERX12354676899
Nasim Kh6an
Nuru
0:20 when u the thermostat and ur dad sees u
its not useless for me, its quite entertaining
Commander Ethan پ
When you feel useless...
0:52 useful for smashing some nails
The smoking machine is gona have some black lungs
dravin silvercrow drr
+Aylee Shoemacher োকআআসনডমচট
2ētifc I dab texts tv ugh ghost ghost fhhxggghhb: bfn cm xml hmmm ugh cbht f hfjhgguh
+rahejul hoqu
dravin silvercrow
*Top 10 Useless machines that do nothing.*
*Number 1: Human Body*
Stolen and late. Plus, obviously...
Have no idea what this video contains as we were immediately chased away by the horrible intrusive music! Awful!
I think the first one would be useful only if you bend the finger ;)
If this was a short from another country the title is gonna be like: AMAZING MACHINES INVENTED BY THE SUPREME GENIUS OF ANY KIND VERY USEFUL FOR HOME!!! MUST WATCH!!!…
The smoking machine is good if you have a nonstop smoker in the house.
Ethan the Hoonigan
the Hoonigan
half of the machines on this list are just variations of each other. wtf
10? no its only 4 cuz 6 of them is exactly the same
The cigarette machine is used to make the room smell like its 1970
Wallace: “Ah ha! Why didn’t we think of this before Gromit?”
when you realize 4 of the machines were turning off switches, and so the person got out of finding 3 other useless machines..
senioritaporpredor
.
senioritaporpredor suj0jij
fusfugbjk
id use the switch machine to troll people.
huh, saw this 4 years ago and algorithm brought me back
the smoking machine... hotbox maybe?
+Alechandro testing filters?
+Rose لات
I feel cheated that the majority of the machines were basically the same thing.
The smoker & broom ones are coo tho. 👌🏾
Whenever you feel useless...think of these.....
people that built these useless machine
*MY FUCKING EARS*
DavrK back in the nineties, I was in a very famous TV show.
DavrK
You have a daughter, Todd is asexual, and Sarah Lynn dies
DavrK I
whats that music?
Dub zap
+schallmau3r Darude - Sandstorm (You should have seen that coming)
+Aritic Fox nope
+schallmau3r whatever
It's shit
More than half of these machines do the same thing...lameo
joexys I know what you mean, but literally all of these machines do the same thing... Nothing.
joexys explain "lameo"
Shanu
Hiiiii
Jaspreet Khuller
"Laughing Ass My Ex Off"
I remember back in my younger, more perverted days, this chick and I were partying at my place and I had some small electric dc motors I had pulled out of an old VCR sitting in drawer by the phone (If you're familiar with the wall mount corded phones, you know the significance of the drawer by the phone).
But anyhoo, I took that little motor and I had some kind of cigar shaped cylindrical tube rounded on one end and open on the other. And that opening was just large enough to press in the little VCR motor with the shaft facing outward, but not extending past the opening edge. Then I looked in my little jar and found a weird specialty bolt that I could lock on to the motor shaft that fit inside the cigar shaped cylinder. Using a 12vdc adapter, I was able to power up the little motor inside the cylinder and the weird bolt I locked down on the motor shaft was offset and had enough mass to shake the hell out of that thing. It sounded like a weedeater. It shook like one too. That's about as descriptive as I can get with my experiment of mechanical uselessness. And it turned out not to be useless at all. And it was a really great way to get to know somebody.
But I really dig your crazy machines. Your creativity leads me to believe that you might be somewhat of a nut. And I mean that in a good way.
How can u say that this machine do nothing ,😂😂😂they waste time and energy 😂😂😂😂 , like I'm also doing in comment and others in watching
how am I not in this vid?
Made Chandra Ardy what?
Made Chandra Ardy shit u depressed or something
these hammers were used in bahuballi 2 conclusion
This machine is basically me: advanced and complex, but basically useless
*Finally found something that is more useless than me*
Музика/Музыка/Music: "Never Sleep" - Gunnar Olsen & AV3C
What's my purpose
Unplug yourself
Oh god..
Yeah welcome to the club pal