imagine you are 5 years old, and someone hands you a 10 pound dumbbell to hold for the rest of your life. when you are 20, the 10 pounds will not feel as heavy as it once did when you were 5. I use this analogy for grief and trauma, breakups included. The weight of the dumbbell never changes, but it becomes much easier to manage with time. Cheering for you from Nebraska in the states❤️
it is actually so admirable that you continue filming yourself and showing this side of you despite everything that is going on (and that you’re letting us know about), take good care of yourself and make sure you’re doing something nice!! Lots of love from Germany! 💞💗
I'm also in a recent breakup situation, four months in now (we were together 7 years, travelled together for 8 months then he broke up with me out of the blue when we got back... The day after my birthday!) so I really appreciate you filming all this as even 4 months in it's so reassuring to hear someone in a similar situation. Like I feel exactly the same, I have great people around me but talking about it and venting never really helped and I just felt/feel angry and depressed and I felt/feel so alone and isolated. The hardest thing for me atm is setbacks feel so much harder than before and it's so hard to not slip into a victim complex about it and just give up One thing that has helped me is like mindless stuff that is 'productive', like for me it's exercising - swimming, weights, climbing and mindless crafts like crochet. I used to sew a lot but I really haven't had the mental energy so finding alternative/easier ways to do things that I used to love has been helpful. I now listen to podcast versions of articles while exercising, whereas before I used to just read them (e.g Guardian Audio Long Reads) as it feels less taxing than just reading it directly Hope you start feeling better soon ❤❤
thank you for this!! i agree with the mindless productivity, i've started walking home from my office (around two and a half miles) to fill up the time and to get the endorphins pumping etc, i hope you start feeling better soon too, we've got this queen xx
Girl as someone who is depressed, p,lease check those demotivation symptoms out. Depression is not only scid thoughs, earlier this year I all of sudden I began to feel very unmotivated, tired, and "over it" all the time, I couldn't do any of the things I enjoyed and took pride in. But it was mostly this symptons, more "physical" then psycologic, so I started to think I was anemic, changed my diet, did exams, only in the end to find out that it was actually depression! Started taking medication and my motivation kicked back in
Talking to myself has been a natural coping mechanism for me since i was very young, it can help to compartmentalise everything in the open so to speak. Another thing that helped me is considering how the previous cycle of low mood you mentioned came to an end and how this will to even if it takes a while.
I have been dealing with an extreme sense of loneliness lately. I have never felt like this in my life, for the past years I almost prided myself on being able to be alone. Now I find myself longing for romantic and platonic connection. I have it with my family, and I am starting to reach out and make friends but I feel so goddamn lonely! Don’t know why I’m wanting romantic connection so badly but it is bringing me down. Sending you all the love and I really appreciate you opening up, it is making me feel understood
I’m not American, I’m Latin (from South America) living in the UK. It took me a while to realise why but I think something that icks me a little from British people calling Americans dumb or making jokes is that it gives me the same feeling sometimes of Spanish people sort of looking down on Latin American people (because of the way we speak, our accents, different words, etc). Because it’s the same power dynamic, a colonising country that tried (and succeeded) at wiping most of the original people from their land, now hundreds of years later, making fun and looking down on them again. Don’t get me wrong, I criticise Americans as much as the rest of the world (politics, monopolies, wars etc), but I think even though the context of our countries in the present are very different, the same underlying sense of colonialism is felt?? Idk, that’s how I have felt when hearing comments made about Americans *by British people*
I totally get where you're coming from but I mean the primary source of British anti-American sentiment is sour grapes over being eclipsed as a world power. Like the people British people look down on are rival colonisers, or their unruly kin. White Americans ARE colonisers par excellence. I'm just not so sure the power dynamic makes sense here even if it may once have been the case it very much isn't the case now and hasn't been for almost a century. Furthermore, the North Americans did WAY less race mixing than they did in Latin America. I mean they were too racist for the Nazis (true story) so it feels like it's pretty much a white on white rival deal more than a race thing even which could definitely be argued with like mestizo people in Latin America.
Yeah but the British people that are alive today didn’t colonise America. So them making jokes about modern Americans stupidity imo has nothing to do with what ppl did 100s of years ago.
I think it’s just very striking, how little the general American knows about international affairs considering how high the country is ranked in terms of economy, education etc
I’m also going through a breakup and I’m about as far into it as you are and our relationships were about the same length It’s actually quite comforting hearing you talk about how you’re feeling and what you’re going through. It’s like you’re in my brain! It really makes me feel less alone so, thank you
i completely understand the not taking depression seriously when youve been through worse, it happens to me on small and large scales and i talked to my therapist about the other day and realized that it really doesnt matter how much ive been able to endure in the past if what im going through right now is enough for me to even think of comparing the two. what matters most i think is taking care of what i feel now rather than adding further weight for me to carry by forcing myself to live up to expectations i shouldnt have had to meet in the first place. i also rly get you with the feeling like youre getting stupider thing because thats been me for about 9 months (jesus) rn and it sucks complete ass but i just have to tell myself that who i was 10 months ago is not the most intelligent and productive i will ever be in my life so its fine for me to just go through the motions a bit even though it doesnt feel good at all. sending my best wishes 🫶🏽
It's comforting to hear you talk about this. I am going thru something where a really important relationship is ending (both said i love you, been 2 years, etc) and i just feel so lost confused sad crazy broken and so alone.
i just went from watching your newest video on main channel to this & damn; in large way, i think it's brave of you to share the intimates parts of your life. i know social media is mostly parasocial relationships, but i appreciate yours comes from an authentic & not manipulative way. i hope it's cathartic for you - i think it is for me, especially when we all suffer through things but often can't speak about it. who know where your emotion are a week later, but watching this & hearing you verbally process your way through it: "you know it will be fine," but there's also nothing to be ashamed about feeling whatever you are right now. it's real & it'll last & it'll eventually feel better, even if it takes a long ass time or a short ass time. give yourself grace for each thing you do - making this video was something. working on your main channel is. to get dressed or eat or walk or sleep or literally everything is admirable, even if it doesn't feel like it. especially people who are used to being go getters & social - it feels so alien to not be one's full self we know we're capable of being. sending good vibes your way & genuinely appreciate your output & respect your struggle 🙏
not going through a breakup but i’ve just graduated uni and moved home and i relate. not quite depressed enough to take it seriously but enough that i feel like i can’t do anything. it sucks but it’ll pass. love to you xx
As a person who hasn’t been through a breakup but regularly goes through slumps my no 1 recommendation is going to the convenience store and getting a sweet treat. Hope who feel better soon Jordan love you❤
re: the theme around 10:30 - lmaooooo i felt this so much. No matter how distressed or upset I feel or how passively sewerslidal I get, it will neverrrrr compare to 2 of my lowest points (1 of which in response to a breakup, so I feel you). Loving this episode ❤
omg you are the first person i have ever seen that shares my enthusiasm for a good comedy sign... when i live on my own my walls will be covered in them i fear
I love your fashion girlie era btw. The outfits continue to be strong. ALSO re the friends de-brief content, it’s a great idea and I think Mike’s Mic Italian tour 2.0 is a perfect example. Seeing people be silly and try and explain inside jokes is very fun
What you said abt the depression is so real. My low was so low that it feels like I can’t validate the depression I currently feel. Also I recently just went through a breakup and the rage is so consuming, but it becomes bearable. Put yourself in social situations, it really really helps to have a routine and people you can lean on. Sending you all the love ❤️
As somebody who 3 months ago went through a breakup I genuinely appreciate your vulnerability. My relationship was honestly kind of abusive, and coming to terms and going through the emotions of all that has been a lot, I really feel what you're feeling in a lot of ways. I know we will both get through it but god damn damn in the meantime! I love this podcast so much and it brings me so much joy, I'm glad it can be an outlet for you. I do think the Glastonbury recap pt 2 episode does sound fun
"I can't tell you about, because I don't want to." 😂 that delivery cracked me up. Also yes queen, boundaries and privacy 👍 Sorry to hear the break up is breakuping though. I can't even imagine the depression from that on top of the come down from a festival 😵💫 I hope you have good ways to keep your emotions regulated, and things you can do to express your different emotions as you grieve your relationship. It's cliche af, but like, times like these are when the simple things like exercise, meditation, and journaling can really help. But like, I have adhd, I understand it's WAAAY easier said than done. Peace and love 💚
Thank you for being so open about your feelings. It’s really admirable and refreshing to hear someone be honest and open about their feelings. Love you babes you got this xx
I think the reason why people are judging Ariana so harshly is because the man she chose to cheat with had and infant and a wife who’s lives were permanently changed because of this situation
I love your chill little background with the cozy pink chairs. Also you look so stunning Jordan! I really feel for you and your feelings are valid during this really tough time.
angry girl here. i feel that so much. the thing that helped me the most was accepting the feelings as they come, try not to fight them. i know it sounds dumb but we tend to judge our internal thoughts constantly and its exhausting. it really made the difference for me. sending you love through this hard time x
I hope you know that people can see where you're coming from Jordan. The mental fog, the lack of motivation, feelings of anhedonia. It's how you self soothe and cope during difficult times such as these. I hope things pass quickly for you and that you start to feel inspired and energised and lively again. You'll get to relearn who you are and not who you are when you're branched off the tree of someone else, and that's so exciting. Heart goes out to you
I stg your life rn was mine 3 years ago. Hold on ❤ things really are always happening for us, even if we can’t see it in the moment. You’re going to feel so much better with time. Love your content 💗
as someone who is also going through a drama-filled breakup that is leaving me full of anger and loneliness, keeping me from doing what I enjoy, it's really nice to just hear that I'm not the only one who is going though it
hey girl, i'm not sure if you'll read this but i just want to share that my boyfriend died early this year. its only been months, i still feel aimless and alone as fuck and i don't know if its okay to say but even though we have different circumstances, i find comfort with the fact that we're both going through the grief of losing someone we love. one thing i learned though is sometimes you just have to sit through the quiet. there's no other way around it, really, other than hope that it passes by a little quicker and that each time, we'll come out of it a little stronger. hoping better days for the both of us. much love from the philippines :)
Oooh lord when you said the bit about not being able to engage in anything smart. Omfg. I havent been able to process anything. Ive been avoiding all news. All i watch is video essays and I havent been in the mood to watch any. Totes sounds like a major depressive episode. Like it /will/ be fine, but make sure you get the help you need to feel better now so you dont fall off the deep end! 💚💚💚
Also as a person who is using a crush/hookup to get me through post actually horrific relationship that's so true. Like on one hand the crush part is distracting, the physical part makes me feel wanted and we are friends so I can get a little vulnerable
i’ve lived alone for about 8 years? now and i talk to myself constantly 😭 mostly just like “oh yeah i gotta wash the dishes” or “maybe tomorrow i’ll do this thing” but sometimes i rehearse things i’d say in completely impossible situations so… i think (i hope) it’s not that crazy
I'm recently broken up and I keep having weeks when I'm completely fine and then I feel like I'm back at square one 😑 but when I look back at diaries from past break ups I can see that the pattern is the same and it takes me months and months to get out of the hard slog of it all. I was feeling like I was boring all my friends with it all but then when I do open up I genuinely feel better and it helps to quiet that voice in my head that tells me in a fucking nuissance
Breakups are horrid, don’t be too hard on yourself for not being as disciplined or motivated as you were before, it’s frustrating obviously but be patient with yourself!! Things will get better, and hopefully you’ll grow even more! 💕💕
Oh sweet girl. We are here to lists to everything and anything you want to share with us. I’m so sorry you’re heartbroken. Try to be kind to yourself ❤
I literally have a crushing and pining playlist, which includes that Blood Orange song and the Jai Paul cover of Crush (though Jennifer Paige's OG also slays ofc). Idk how healthy my High Fidelity emotional processing is, but if it distracts me from getting into relationships at the wrong time that's gotta be harm reduction right?!
I just wanted to tell you that listening to your podcast is helping me through a horrendous breakup. It’s admirable to see you continue with your episodes. I fully relate to the anger you are feeling, I’m not an angry person but I am so angry at the moment. Thank you for being so open about it, you’re not alone 🫶🏻
Yeah I'm sorry you're going through this. I think modern life has made it too easy to be alone through our working and living spaces being increasingly isolated. I know you said you feel lonely in company, but I do think having a house full of people really helps, and that's not really done anymore once you leave your early to mid twenties. I honestly think proximity is the number one factor in making most relationships work, and we've given that up for this fantasy of privacy and the nuclear family. I know it's hard out here and people need to do what they have to do to survive, but in all honesty I think we don't prioritise friendships enough. I think if people thought about their community before taking a job far away, or buying a house far away, people would be a lot happier and we'd have much more vibrant communities. That's not to say that people need to choose to be poor or choose to rent their whole life, but I'm talking about just that much more consideration. I'm in my early 30s and my friends are very much scattered to the winds. We keep in contact, but the day to day stuff of life is lost and it's where real bonds are made. Everyone retreats into their romantic relationships and meets up at scheduled times months in the future because we're all "too busy." And no one has kids yet! Yes, we can talk about the systemic issues and pressures of late stage capitalism all day long. But we have to recognise that we do hold some power over our own lives and most of us aren't using it to build community or keep people around. We're chasing the increasingly elusive dream of financial success. But it's not going to be there for most of us anyway. And we won't make it happen without community. We won't bring back good jobs, the NHS, and labour unions without community. This is long and very tangential. I just went through a break up myself and it's been really hard. I guess what I'm saying is prioritise yourself but also recognise that being in community with other people is often a wonderful way to take your mind of things and heal. That can be through friends or through volunteering, whatever works for you. And as others said, depression often doesn't look like sadness, low energy, anhedonia (losing interest in things you enjoy), are also very common symptoms. Don't be afraid of therapy, it can be useful (but also vet the therapist very thoroughly to ensure they're professionals). Best of luck ❤
i am absolutely petrified of rodents. nearly died when i saw a whole pack of rats in a parking lot new york. thankfully, i’m from california and we already had wheely bins lol.
American here: im not sure anyone can dunk on us enough. Also yeah, we're down to learn stuff about yalls politics cuz our politics are a literal nightmare Edit: we have wheelie bins elsewhere, idk wtf NY has been doing
Oh girl i love u and ur podcast but the stance on cheating aint it... Cheating usually leaves the victim with deep psychological scars and trauma, basically fucking up their trust forever and i would go as far as claiming that cheating is a form of abuse. Like i know u wouldnt make excuses for a man raising a hand on his gf but him sticking his pp in another person while knowing how much it will hurt her and mess her up mentally is somehow morally gray?? How hard is to just break up. People give ariana too much leeway just bcos she has innocent little girl persona. Like yes, someone can be in an abusive relationship not being able to leave and thus cheat but we arent talking about that just like we arent talkin about woman kicking her abuser in defence..
Yeah I'm sorry you're going through this. I think modern life has made it too easy to be alone through our working and living spaces being increasingly isolated. I know you said you feel lonely in company, but I do think having a house full of people really helps, and that's not really done anymore once you leave your early to mid twenties. I honestly think proximity is the number one factor in making most relationships work, and we've given that up for this fantasy of privacy and the nuclear family. I know it's hard out here and people need to do what they have to do to survive, but in all honesty I think we don't prioritise friendships enough. I think if people thought about their community before taking a job far away, or buying a house far away, people would be a lot happier and we'd have much more vibrant communities. That's not to say that people need to choose to be poor or choose to rent their whole life, but I'm talking about just that much more consideration. I'm in my early 30s and my friends are very much scattered to the winds. We keep in contact, but the day to day stuff of life is lost and it's where real bonds are made. Everyone retreats into their romantic relationships and meets up at scheduled times months in the future because we're all "too busy." And no one has kids yet! Yes, we can talk about the systemic issues and pressures of late stage capitalism all day long. But we have to recognise that we do hold some power over our own lives and most of us aren't using it to build community or keep people around. We're chasing the increasingly elusive dream of financial success. But it's not going to be there for most of us anyway. And we won't make it happen without community. We won't bring back good jobs, the NHS, and labour unions without community. This is long and very tangential. I just went through a break up myself and it's been really hard. I guess what I'm saying is prioritise yourself but also recognise that being in community with other people is often a wonderful way to take your mind of things and heal. That can be through friends or through volunteering, whatever works for you. And as others said, depression often doesn't look like sadness, low energy, anhedonia (losing interest in things you enjoy), are also very common symptoms. Don't be afraid of therapy, it can be useful (but also vet the therapist very thoroughly to ensure they're professionals). Best of luck ❤ Edit: Oh god I relate so hard on the anger stuff. Didn't you say you have ADHD? Anger and emotional dysregulation can be a symptom of ADHD. Also ADHD meltdowns are a thing. Pretty much the same deal as autistic meltdowns. Kind of changed my life when I found out about them because I was living with so much shame for being like a bad person, but it helped to know that it's part of the condition. I always FELT like sometimes my anger just wasn't something I could control. But I didn't believe it because of hoe much I was shamed for it. Now it's confirmed decades later lol.
imagine you are 5 years old, and someone hands you a 10 pound dumbbell to hold for the rest of your life. when you are 20, the 10 pounds will not feel as heavy as it once did when you were 5.
I use this analogy for grief and trauma, breakups included.
The weight of the dumbbell never changes, but it becomes much easier to manage with time.
Cheering for you from Nebraska in the states❤️
thank you
Hopefully things begin to go better for you lot over in the states now the old dementia patient has stopped running.
it is actually so admirable that you continue filming yourself and showing this side of you despite everything that is going on (and that you’re letting us know about), take good care of yourself and make sure you’re doing something nice!! Lots of love from Germany! 💞💗
thank you!!xx
"but he's just clapped" jordan you nearly made me scream in my uni library
I'm also in a recent breakup situation, four months in now (we were together 7 years, travelled together for 8 months then he broke up with me out of the blue when we got back... The day after my birthday!) so I really appreciate you filming all this as even 4 months in it's so reassuring to hear someone in a similar situation. Like I feel exactly the same, I have great people around me but talking about it and venting never really helped and I just felt/feel angry and depressed and I felt/feel so alone and isolated. The hardest thing for me atm is setbacks feel so much harder than before and it's so hard to not slip into a victim complex about it and just give up
One thing that has helped me is like mindless stuff that is 'productive', like for me it's exercising - swimming, weights, climbing and mindless crafts like crochet. I used to sew a lot but I really haven't had the mental energy so finding alternative/easier ways to do things that I used to love has been helpful. I now listen to podcast versions of articles while exercising, whereas before I used to just read them (e.g Guardian Audio Long Reads) as it feels less taxing than just reading it directly
Hope you start feeling better soon ❤❤
thank you for this!! i agree with the mindless productivity, i've started walking home from my office (around two and a half miles) to fill up the time and to get the endorphins pumping etc, i hope you start feeling better soon too, we've got this queen xx
Girl as someone who is depressed, p,lease check those demotivation symptoms out. Depression is not only scid thoughs, earlier this year I all of sudden I began to feel very unmotivated, tired, and "over it" all the time, I couldn't do any of the things I enjoyed and took pride in. But it was mostly this symptons, more "physical" then psycologic, so I started to think I was anemic, changed my diet, did exams, only in the end to find out that it was actually depression! Started taking medication and my motivation kicked back in
Talking to myself has been a natural coping mechanism for me since i was very young, it can help to compartmentalise everything in the open so to speak. Another thing that helped me is considering how the previous cycle of low mood you mentioned came to an end and how this will to even if it takes a while.
AYO EDEBIRI ON THE POD
hahahaha
I have been dealing with an extreme sense of loneliness lately. I have never felt like this in my life, for the past years I almost prided myself on being able to be alone. Now I find myself longing for romantic and platonic connection. I have it with my family, and I am starting to reach out and make friends but I feel so goddamn lonely! Don’t know why I’m wanting romantic connection so badly but it is bringing me down. Sending you all the love and I really appreciate you opening up, it is making me feel understood
i am living for these podcast episodes
I’m not American, I’m Latin (from South America) living in the UK. It took me a while to realise why but I think something that icks me a little from British people calling Americans dumb or making jokes is that it gives me the same feeling sometimes of Spanish people sort of looking down on Latin American people (because of the way we speak, our accents, different words, etc). Because it’s the same power dynamic, a colonising country that tried (and succeeded) at wiping most of the original people from their land, now hundreds of years later, making fun and looking down on them again. Don’t get me wrong, I criticise Americans as much as the rest of the world (politics, monopolies, wars etc), but I think even though the context of our countries in the present are very different, the same underlying sense of colonialism is felt?? Idk, that’s how I have felt when hearing comments made about Americans *by British people*
I totally get where you're coming from but I mean the primary source of British anti-American sentiment is sour grapes over being eclipsed as a world power. Like the people British people look down on are rival colonisers, or their unruly kin. White Americans ARE colonisers par excellence. I'm just not so sure the power dynamic makes sense here even if it may once have been the case it very much isn't the case now and hasn't been for almost a century.
Furthermore, the North Americans did WAY less race mixing than they did in Latin America. I mean they were too racist for the Nazis (true story) so it feels like it's pretty much a white on white rival deal more than a race thing even which could definitely be argued with like mestizo people in Latin America.
👏👏
Yeah but the British people that are alive today didn’t colonise America. So them making jokes about modern Americans stupidity imo has nothing to do with what ppl did 100s of years ago.
I think it’s just very striking, how little the general American knows about international affairs considering how high the country is ranked in terms of economy, education etc
I'm being spoillleddd😩❤️❤️ 3 episode in like 2/3 weeks
I’m also going through a breakup and I’m about as far into it as you are and our relationships were about the same length
It’s actually quite comforting hearing you talk about how you’re feeling and what you’re going through. It’s like you’re in my brain! It really makes me feel less alone so, thank you
Also I like the sound of the plan
i completely understand the not taking depression seriously when youve been through worse, it happens to me on small and large scales and i talked to my therapist about the other day and realized that it really doesnt matter how much ive been able to endure in the past if what im going through right now is enough for me to even think of comparing the two. what matters most i think is taking care of what i feel now rather than adding further weight for me to carry by forcing myself to live up to expectations i shouldnt have had to meet in the first place. i also rly get you with the feeling like youre getting stupider thing because thats been me for about 9 months (jesus) rn and it sucks complete ass but i just have to tell myself that who i was 10 months ago is not the most intelligent and productive i will ever be in my life so its fine for me to just go through the motions a bit even though it doesnt feel good at all. sending my best wishes 🫶🏽
It's comforting to hear you talk about this. I am going thru something where a really important relationship is ending (both said i love you, been 2 years, etc) and i just feel so lost confused sad crazy broken and so alone.
i just went from watching your newest video on main channel to this & damn; in large way, i think it's brave of you to share the intimates parts of your life. i know social media is mostly parasocial relationships, but i appreciate yours comes from an authentic & not manipulative way. i hope it's
cathartic for you - i think it is for me, especially when we all suffer through things but often can't speak about it.
who know where your emotion are a week later, but watching this & hearing you verbally process your way through it: "you know it will be fine," but there's also nothing to be ashamed about feeling whatever you are right now. it's real & it'll last & it'll eventually feel better, even if it takes a long ass time or a short ass time.
give yourself grace for each thing you do - making this video was something. working on your main channel is. to get dressed or eat or walk or sleep or literally everything is admirable, even if it doesn't feel like it.
especially people who are used to being go getters & social - it feels so alien to not be one's full self we know we're capable of being.
sending good vibes your way & genuinely appreciate your output & respect your struggle 🙏
not going through a breakup but i’ve just graduated uni and moved home and i relate. not quite depressed enough to take it seriously but enough that i feel like i can’t do anything. it sucks but it’ll pass. love to you xx
thank you!! love to you too xx
As a person who hasn’t been through a breakup but regularly goes through slumps my no 1 recommendation is going to the convenience store and getting a sweet treat. Hope who feel better soon Jordan love you❤
this is extremely real, and thank you soo much xx
re: the theme around 10:30 - lmaooooo i felt this so much. No matter how distressed or upset I feel or how passively sewerslidal I get, it will neverrrrr compare to 2 of my lowest points (1 of which in response to a breakup, so I feel you). Loving this episode ❤
omg you are the first person i have ever seen that shares my enthusiasm for a good comedy sign... when i live on my own my walls will be covered in them i fear
I love your fashion girlie era btw. The outfits continue to be strong. ALSO re the friends de-brief content, it’s a great idea and I think Mike’s Mic Italian tour 2.0 is a perfect example. Seeing people be silly and try and explain inside jokes is very fun
What you said abt the depression is so real. My low was so low that it feels like I can’t validate the depression I currently feel. Also I recently just went through a breakup and the rage is so consuming, but it becomes bearable. Put yourself in social situations, it really really helps to have a routine and people you can lean on. Sending you all the love ❤️
As somebody who 3 months ago went through a breakup I genuinely appreciate your vulnerability. My relationship was honestly kind of abusive, and coming to terms and going through the emotions of all that has been a lot, I really feel what you're feeling in a lot of ways. I know we will both get through it but god damn damn in the meantime! I love this podcast so much and it brings me so much joy, I'm glad it can be an outlet for you. I do think the Glastonbury recap pt 2 episode does sound fun
thank you!! sending love and healing vibes your way xx
"I can't tell you about, because I don't want to." 😂 that delivery cracked me up. Also yes queen, boundaries and privacy 👍
Sorry to hear the break up is breakuping though. I can't even imagine the depression from that on top of the come down from a festival 😵💫
I hope you have good ways to keep your emotions regulated, and things you can do to express your different emotions as you grieve your relationship.
It's cliche af, but like, times like these are when the simple things like exercise, meditation, and journaling can really help. But like, I have adhd, I understand it's WAAAY easier said than done.
Peace and love 💚
Thank you for being so open about your feelings. It’s really admirable and refreshing to hear someone be honest and open about their feelings. Love you babes you got this xx
I think the reason why people are judging Ariana so harshly is because the man she chose to cheat with had and infant and a wife who’s lives were permanently changed because of this situation
and obviously it was his decision too, just no one cares about him
I love your chill little background with the cozy pink chairs. Also you look so stunning Jordan! I really feel for you and your feelings are valid during this really tough time.
I could listen to you talk for three days straight
Crush by Jennifer Paige reminds me of being a kid in my dad’s Astra estate 😂 driving around on a Saturday afternoon
angry girl here. i feel that so much. the thing that helped me the most was accepting the feelings as they come, try not to fight them. i know it sounds dumb but we tend to judge our internal thoughts constantly and its exhausting. it really made the difference for me.
sending you love through this hard time x
Also, great episode loved the silly internet things part
I hope you know that people can see where you're coming from Jordan. The mental fog, the lack of motivation, feelings of anhedonia. It's how you self soothe and cope during difficult times such as these. I hope things pass quickly for you and that you start to feel inspired and energised and lively again. You'll get to relearn who you are and not who you are when you're branched off the tree of someone else, and that's so exciting. Heart goes out to you
this is a really lovely comment thank you!!xx
I stg your life rn was mine 3 years ago. Hold on ❤ things really are always happening for us, even if we can’t see it in the moment. You’re going to feel so much better with time. Love your content 💗
when I watch your voicenotes I notice how british and brzazilian pop (like, popular) culture is alike. Is really fun
as someone who is also going through a drama-filled breakup that is leaving me full of anger and loneliness, keeping me from doing what I enjoy, it's really nice to just hear that I'm not the only one who is going though it
so happy that youve been uploading a lot these days, but hope youre okay too love!!! we adore you and just want you to be well 🫶🏼🩷 x
hey girl, i'm not sure if you'll read this but i just want to share that my boyfriend died early this year. its only been months, i still feel aimless and alone as fuck and i don't know if its okay to say but even though we have different circumstances, i find comfort with the fact that we're both going through the grief of losing someone we love. one thing i learned though is sometimes you just have to sit through the quiet. there's no other way around it, really, other than hope that it passes by a little quicker and that each time, we'll come out of it a little stronger.
hoping better days for the both of us. much love from the philippines :)
Loved the pod & the charm necklace, white tee combo - super cute ❤️
Oooh lord when you said the bit about not being able to engage in anything smart. Omfg. I havent been able to process anything. Ive been avoiding all news. All i watch is video essays and I havent been in the mood to watch any. Totes sounds like a major depressive episode. Like it /will/ be fine, but make sure you get the help you need to feel better now so you dont fall off the deep end! 💚💚💚
Also as a person who is using a crush/hookup to get me through post actually horrific relationship that's so true. Like on one hand the crush part is distracting, the physical part makes me feel wanted and we are friends so I can get a little vulnerable
i’ve lived alone for about 8 years? now and i talk to myself constantly 😭 mostly just like “oh yeah i gotta wash the dishes” or “maybe tomorrow i’ll do this thing” but sometimes i rehearse things i’d say in completely impossible situations so… i think (i hope) it’s not that crazy
I talk to myself about completely random trivia and find that it helps my social mobility as a neurodivergent person.
Omg I will be in Birmingham to see Charli as well in November! I’m in gold circle (vip kinda thing) so I really hope to see you!
I loved this episode ❤❤
I’m sorry that you’ve been feeling this way Jordan :( I know it’s hard right now but time heals 💕
I work in NYC and feel the same way about pigeons 💔 btw I never comment on anything on YT but keep going gf we are rooting for you!
I'm recently broken up and I keep having weeks when I'm completely fine and then I feel like I'm back at square one 😑 but when I look back at diaries from past break ups I can see that the pattern is the same and it takes me months and months to get out of the hard slog of it all. I was feeling like I was boring all my friends with it all but then when I do open up I genuinely feel better and it helps to quiet that voice in my head that tells me in a fucking nuissance
Omg love the plan. Sounds sooo fun!
Breakups are horrid, don’t be too hard on yourself for not being as disciplined or motivated as you were before, it’s frustrating obviously but be patient with yourself!! Things will get better, and hopefully you’ll grow even more! 💕💕
Oh sweet girl. We are here to lists to everything and anything you want to share with us. I’m so sorry you’re heartbroken. Try to be kind to yourself ❤
truly need more vulnerability like this , feel better j!
Good luck, life will feel good again ❤️
I literally have a crushing and pining playlist, which includes that Blood Orange song and the Jai Paul cover of Crush (though Jennifer Paige's OG also slays ofc). Idk how healthy my High Fidelity emotional processing is, but if it distracts me from getting into relationships at the wrong time that's gotta be harm reduction right?!
I just wanted to tell you that listening to your podcast is helping me through a horrendous breakup. It’s admirable to see you continue with your episodes. I fully relate to the anger you are feeling, I’m not an angry person but I am so angry at the moment. Thank you for being so open about it, you’re not alone 🫶🏻
Debrief with your friends sounds gorg ❤❤❤❤
Yeah I'm sorry you're going through this. I think modern life has made it too easy to be alone through our working and living spaces being increasingly isolated. I know you said you feel lonely in company, but I do think having a house full of people really helps, and that's not really done anymore once you leave your early to mid twenties.
I honestly think proximity is the number one factor in making most relationships work, and we've given that up for this fantasy of privacy and the nuclear family. I know it's hard out here and people need to do what they have to do to survive, but in all honesty I think we don't prioritise friendships enough. I think if people thought about their community before taking a job far away, or buying a house far away, people would be a lot happier and we'd have much more vibrant communities.
That's not to say that people need to choose to be poor or choose to rent their whole life, but I'm talking about just that much more consideration. I'm in my early 30s and my friends are very much scattered to the winds. We keep in contact, but the day to day stuff of life is lost and it's where real bonds are made. Everyone retreats into their romantic relationships and meets up at scheduled times months in the future because we're all "too busy." And no one has kids yet!
Yes, we can talk about the systemic issues and pressures of late stage capitalism all day long. But we have to recognise that we do hold some power over our own lives and most of us aren't using it to build community or keep people around. We're chasing the increasingly elusive dream of financial success. But it's not going to be there for most of us anyway. And we won't make it happen without community. We won't bring back good jobs, the NHS, and labour unions without community.
This is long and very tangential. I just went through a break up myself and it's been really hard. I guess what I'm saying is prioritise yourself but also recognise that being in community with other people is often a wonderful way to take your mind of things and heal. That can be through friends or through volunteering, whatever works for you. And as others said, depression often doesn't look like sadness, low energy, anhedonia (losing interest in things you enjoy), are also very common symptoms. Don't be afraid of therapy, it can be useful (but also vet the therapist very thoroughly to ensure they're professionals). Best of luck ❤
A flat rat!!!!! 😂😂😂😂 i dont think ive heard that before im dyinggggg
Also, I love all of the skipping around and ADHD vibes so me!
omg i would love to hear your thoughts on love island us
no way jordan binchtopia listener 😋😋
The theatre anxiety is SO real, but sounds a bit more like agoraphobia rather than claustrophobia
i am absolutely petrified of rodents. nearly died when i saw a whole pack of rats in a parking lot new york. thankfully, i’m from california and we already had wheely bins lol.
Sounds like your going through the stages of grief and right now your on anger stage 😂 you’ll get through this, you just need time and patience.
watching from australia like 🐊👀
You would love US thrift stores and all of the cringey signs 😆
American here: im not sure anyone can dunk on us enough. Also yeah, we're down to learn stuff about yalls politics cuz our politics are a literal nightmare
Edit: we have wheelie bins elsewhere, idk wtf NY has been doing
I thought it was Rhys Montrose from season 4 of YOU who was running for mayor... 🤦♂️
wait, are we guessing the podcast guest? bc if so, mine is elle literacy 👀
i think it is too!
The guest better be KEELIN !!!
Is boots under shared custody?
Oh girl i love u and ur podcast but the stance on cheating aint it... Cheating usually leaves the victim with deep psychological scars and trauma, basically fucking up their trust forever and i would go as far as claiming that cheating is a form of abuse. Like i know u wouldnt make excuses for a man raising a hand on his gf but him sticking his pp in another person while knowing how much it will hurt her and mess her up mentally is somehow morally gray?? How hard is to just break up. People give ariana too much leeway just bcos she has innocent little girl persona. Like yes, someone can be in an abusive relationship not being able to leave and thus cheat but we arent talking about that just like we arent talkin about woman kicking her abuser in defence..
rip jordan's eyebrow piercing : (
❤
Australia is AI
💘💘💘
Yeah I'm sorry you're going through this. I think modern life has made it too easy to be alone through our working and living spaces being increasingly isolated. I know you said you feel lonely in company, but I do think having a house full of people really helps, and that's not really done anymore once you leave your early to mid twenties.
I honestly think proximity is the number one factor in making most relationships work, and we've given that up for this fantasy of privacy and the nuclear family. I know it's hard out here and people need to do what they have to do to survive, but in all honesty I think we don't prioritise friendships enough. I think if people thought about their community before taking a job far away, or buying a house far away, people would be a lot happier and we'd have much more vibrant communities.
That's not to say that people need to choose to be poor or choose to rent their whole life, but I'm talking about just that much more consideration. I'm in my early 30s and my friends are very much scattered to the winds. We keep in contact, but the day to day stuff of life is lost and it's where real bonds are made. Everyone retreats into their romantic relationships and meets up at scheduled times months in the future because we're all "too busy." And no one has kids yet!
Yes, we can talk about the systemic issues and pressures of late stage capitalism all day long. But we have to recognise that we do hold some power over our own lives and most of us aren't using it to build community or keep people around. We're chasing the increasingly elusive dream of financial success. But it's not going to be there for most of us anyway. And we won't make it happen without community. We won't bring back good jobs, the NHS, and labour unions without community.
This is long and very tangential. I just went through a break up myself and it's been really hard. I guess what I'm saying is prioritise yourself but also recognise that being in community with other people is often a wonderful way to take your mind of things and heal. That can be through friends or through volunteering, whatever works for you. And as others said, depression often doesn't look like sadness, low energy, anhedonia (losing interest in things you enjoy), are also very common symptoms. Don't be afraid of therapy, it can be useful (but also vet the therapist very thoroughly to ensure they're professionals). Best of luck ❤
Edit: Oh god I relate so hard on the anger stuff. Didn't you say you have ADHD? Anger and emotional dysregulation can be a symptom of ADHD. Also ADHD meltdowns are a thing. Pretty much the same deal as autistic meltdowns. Kind of changed my life when I found out about them because I was living with so much shame for being like a bad person, but it helped to know that it's part of the condition. I always FELT like sometimes my anger just wasn't something I could control. But I didn't believe it because of hoe much I was shamed for it. Now it's confirmed decades later lol.