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I Keep Failing At Quitting Porn -- Instant Self Forgiveness & Crushing It In Life
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 ธ.ค. 2015
- I Keep Failing At Quitting Porn -- Instant Self Forgiveness & Crushing It In Life
►My original video on Porn & No Fap: • Porn & No Fap (Masturb...
►The video where I said I would never watch porn ever again (failed): • Why I Will Never Watch...
SUBSCRIBE!: www.youtube.com...
►►► My NEWEST video on this topic, "250 Days of Effortless NoFap"!:
• 250 Days of "Effortles... :)
My favorite "No Porn / Masturbation" quote that I've shared a couple times before:
"The real thing is multipliable times better than the plastic porn thing. To have someone's arms around you, desiring you, loving you, wanting to give all she is to you, in all her faults accepting all of yours, tenderly & warmly kissing you, cuddling you, touching you with that feminine softness, whispering, laughing, smiling, a shining in her eyes and a shiver in her spine... She looks straight into your face as you honestly realize that you want her beyond a moment's orgasm. You desire her for more than just a cum session. More than what your dick always asks for. You want her for who she is, for what she is, and the beautiful person you've come to adore. There isn't a porn star in the world who can make you feel this warm contentedness in realizing that you value her as a whole, and not just a hole to stick your dick into. PMO deadens your senses, beginning with those in your brain and ending with those in your dick. In contrast, as John Denver so eloquently put it, real, warm, living lovemaking fills up your senses like a night in a forest, like the mountains in springtime..."
(from: / okay_newbie_guys_this_... )
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Regarding all the messages I have ever given, I ask you guys to take nothing on my word, but to test the principles and the methods for yourselves and to always think critically. Everyone has their own individualization process. You may be an "outlier". Also, there appears to be a yin and a yang for everything (except God maybe?) that go together. Maybe you'll find some concept that will work awesome for you now, and then in the future you'll find that the polar opposite of that concept is what feels true for you! What matters is are you afraid of truth? Are you being real? Are your actions hurting others? And are you coming from a truly good place?
Sometimes I'll watch some of my videos that I made a year ago for example, and disagree with what I talked about back then. My views keep evolving it seems. Always question what you "get" from my channel!
"There is only one way and that is your way. You seek the path? I warn you away from my own. It can also be the wrong path for you. May each seek out his own way." -- Carl Jung
►Thanks for watching! LIKE, COMMENT, SHARE, SUBSCRIBE, & check out my other videos! :)
► My NEWEST video on this topic, "250 Days of Effortless NoFap"!:
th-cam.com/video/oKRR1e67I1w/w-d-xo.html :)
I quit porn over 250 days ago and I've never looked back
+TJ R3535 Awesome. Respect!
***** Thanks man you can definitely succeed at beating it no doubt. I hope to oneday start my channel and start discussing my journey and giving advice and stuff. Good luck dude!
Will Morgan for 6 months I didn't have sex, then I had a short thing with a girl a bout a month ago, had sex a couple times. It was deff good sex, but there was no meaning behind it so it didn't really matter.
Yes - it's all about raising that energy man. Great transparency here brother. Wising you the best!
I seem a little un-grounded.. but I think the video has a cool balance of some positivity/inspiration in the beginning, and then transitioning into being vulnerable / real with admitting I've been failing at quitting porn and expressing that in a really chill and relaxed way. Wish me luck that in 150 days I'll be able to make a video titled "150 Days of No Porn"! How are all of you doing on your no porn / fapping goals? :)
BTW: YourBrainOnPorn.com is an awesome site regarding porn addiction, how porn affects the brain, and what you should do. Highly recommend checking out that website!
Failing miserably
Went 2 days without masturbating. It was great. I jerked off yesterday and felt guilty, feminine and doubtful of myself today.
+GoldJacketLuke I also fail every couple of months. I think I am now 40 days in without porn. I wish you the best for your challenge and your new habits. Greetings from Germany :)
+GoldJacketLuke going on day 17 nofap today, and day 5 of no cigs. Feeling pretty awesome about it!
Do you have any tips on how to get comfortable talking to a camera and not acting a certain way in front of it?
I don't have a problem with porn...I've seen it a few times but don't think it's addicting. I just have a problem with my energy after I fap. I feel so driven and motivated when I don't, but it's hard not to after like 2 days even.
I'm on day 1 of no fap
I failed after 3months.i forgive myself and now it's time to restart my journey
I love how the messages of this channel and all the comments are so positive! Everyone is so focused on improving themselves and on helping others
Everything you're doing now is about looking long term over the short term. I think its a phase in all of our lives where we realize and learn that short term gain of either watching porn or sleeping in or eating that burger or having a smoke is nothing when compared with the long term gain you get in a few years.
Its about spreading out that brain reward from one night to over many activities and days and racking up those achievements..... till the day you say - "I should be in the moment more" ...and you end up succumbing to that juicy burger. Always thinking of the future is really hard, frustrating and tiring. Finding a fine balance is the key and I guess takes a lifetime to master.
All the best luke!
Thanks for admitting this. I've started 8months ago but keep relapsing. Its not easy but I think its possible as I watch it a lot less than I did 8months ago. I'd like to go 150days also. So far 30days was my max.
Was good for about a month, and yesterday I gave in. Got to say today I've been less anxious.
Im with you Luke!... 150 days starting today. Don't give in because your my moral support!
I also struggle on and off with relapsing. I have a good few months where I dont watch it at all and then ill have a streak where its a daily thing. tried to do no-fap so many times. twice ive got to 22 days but 23 seems to be an unachievable number for me. today is day uno for me with no porn/fap and seeing this video is really coincidental. very happy to see im not alone. youre awesome. im going for 23 days no fap, i hope you can succeed also. take a lot of courage to get on the internet and talk about this type of topic. Im very very open with my life with my friends and family but this is the one topic i always shy away from and never speak about. probably because its been an issue since i was so young and i have a lot of pent up guilt with it. best of luck to you, keep making great videos
I have stopped for more than a year now thanks to you Luke. Good luck!
Hey Luke,
at first I want to tell you how grateful I am for the advice you gave me in the videos. I stumbled upon your channel while browsing the misc. After watching some of your videos, I started doing different challenges in my life aswell, although I may have changed them up a little bit. I think the challenges did help me already, I think I'm getting less
depressed with life and am more confident with girls/people in general
and am less self-doubtful in general.
Here's my view personal view on them:
Workout 4x times a week: I already did that before, once it becomes a habit it is pretty easy because you're just so used to doing it. This is imo something every person should do , it's just so beneficial for mental and physical health. I think it doesn't matter if you work out in the gym or do a another sport though.
Eating healthy: Also pretty easy once you get used to it, the trick is that when you go to the supermarket you don't buy ANY unhealthy groceries. Everytime I'm visiting my parents, I start feeding myself with chocolate all over again.
no porn: For me it is pretty easy to not watch porn - I pretty much watched porn every day before, but it seems like I wasn't that addicted to it.
no fap: Impossibru. I managed to stay on nofap for 6 days, but then I couldn't bear it any longer. It takes a lot of discipline and tbh I don't think fapping is unhealthy when you don't do it excessively.
no vidya: Pretty easy because I simply do not have time for it ever since I'm attending university. Otherwise it'd also be impossibru.
no internet at home: Impossible for me, but I think I could complete the challenge easily if I put my PC in the basement and only used my mobile phone. But the willingness isn't there.
meditate atleast 10 min daily: Did it for like 5 days, then stopped doing it because I felt like it had little to none benefits. Am I wrong?
wake up the same time every day: Incredibly hard, but what I'm doing right now is I wake up before 10am on days where I don't have university. Before trying this challenge, I always slept till 1/2 pm and wasted a shitload of time. This challenge can also be very unhealthy (I think..) when you party all night and you just NEED the rest.
Your opinion on my views?
I recently found your TH-cam channel from a video you made on keeping a journal. I have watched several of your videos and have found them to be very informative. You cover a lot of topics I can relate too. The biggest thing I have learned from you is that you can always make improvements in your life, even when you fall down you are still moving forward. Just want to say thank you and to keep up the work.
+Gabriel Chavez Awesome, thanks for the comment!
i found fapping to porn is actually beneficial as long as you don't overindulge in it. sometimes you just need that release. life is all about contrast too. sometimes you need to feel that ungrounded soulless feeling you get from fapping in order to really enjoy the euphoria you get when you abstain from it. idk...those are just my thoughts on the matter. it's probably different for everyone.
Luke you're lookin good man. Keep crushing it.
Yooo, I literally thought about this, what a coincidence that you uploaded this. Thanks.
+Natan Verhoeckx same
Thanks Gold Jacket Luke it’s hard and not easy.
Best of wishes!! Challenges make us stronger! 💪
Thanks for being honest. It helps us.
I know this is a little random from the topic of this conversation, but based on how positive a person you are, just wondering if you meditate at all man? You seem like the type of person who would definitely be into meditation, seeing as how positive and high-value you are aiming at becoming! Thanks for keeping the positivity up
Hey luke, I have a suggestion for you that I think would be right down your alley. There's this thing called a sensory deprivation tank, which is basically a pitch black tank with water that has around 800 pounds of salt in it, so when you lie down in it you float to the surface. The water and air are both the exact same temperature as your skin, so you don't feel it. It is the best way to experience pure thought, and it is also great for your body. A lot of people have said it is the most important thing to them progressing in life, and although it is a little pricey, it is worth it. Maybe just do some research on it to see if it is something you would like to try? I have done it, and it is amazing, it makes you appreciate just being alive and being a person. Thanks for reading, and good luck with life!
On the good side of TH-cam again
I quit watching porn 3months ago and I
So glad I did
Thanks for this type of video for showing vulnerability. It makes us feel like every one relapse. Could you please suggest or make a video regarding after relapsing
Thank you for sharing. I like hearing about your lifestyle and day. What do you eat? This is good relational value.
So guys, after exactly 2 weeks I relapsed today but I’m not letting it happen again. I can’t.
alright dude fuck yeah, I see you grabbing life by the balls! I really like how you're doing this channel, cause I'm on the same road to self mastery so I can relate so much. Thanks for doing this
"It's fuckin hard" Your laugh after that made me laugh too :)
Weird. I've literally just came from watching porn. Coincidence? I think not. It's definitely a sign to quit, especially since I keep on trying, and trying, and trying but failing. This video is definitely what I needed. Thank you, Luke!
Hey Luke, I love your videos man. I truly resonate with all of your concepts and try to integrate them into my life as much as possible. I was wondering if you'd be open to doing an interview with me and Justin? Or even possibly a video collab. Let me know if your interested, hoping to hear from you :)
Peace
- Nick
I think the most important thing in quitting porn is getting opposed to porn on a deeper level. You need to get to a point where you simply don't want to watch porn anymore, because you see how porn objectifies especially women (men too as some penetrating machines), creates performance and body image anxiety for both men and women and doesn't care about the intimacy and love between the two people making love, the emotional side of sex, which is definitely the most important thing (you cannot call porn love-making, it's just physical penetration). And porn can thus really change what you think about sex and sexuality, and it can be though to realise/accept that this has happened.
When I realised how porn had fucked up my perception of sexuality, women, sex, and "being a real man" (aka that you should be an emotionless, self-centered performer, a machine, that always has to be the best and never show vulnerability) and how I had developed performance anxiety during my porn addiction, I had absolutely no problems quitting porn back in the summer of 2014 (1,5 years ago) and never watched it again. I have never been tempted to watch it again, because I simply don't want to as I see how fucked up it is. A few times after quitting I have watched a few minutes of porn with the intention to see what I was watching before, how far I've become and how much I've changed, and what others are unfortunately still doing.
Ask yourself if you really want to watch something that can subconsciously affect your life and what sexuality is to you. And the porn industry itself is just fucked up for consciously doing this. And it's also just a huge waste of time that doesn't make you happy or give anything good back to you. All the best, guys. :)
+Mikko Heiska Great comment Mikko! Agreed about this being a deep inner change. Honestly, porn now doesn't do much for me. I don't really enjoy it much anymore. Not in the sense that I need crazier stuff or hotter girls, but more as in it doesn't do anything for my fulfillment or making me feel good. Internally I've changed from desiring more of an emotional connection and something REAL, rather than feeding the dopamine addiction to my computer screen haha. Before my brain would go "this is hot!"; But now my brain sees "this is just flesh moving around". Watching porn is just subconsciously affirming that I need to look at it because I am lonely and not having the courage to face my self and make my dreams a reality. Porn is just terrible for my self-esteem realizing what I am doing too, and how little control over this addiction I have had. My mind has been reprograming in a more healthy and REAL way though. Moving forward.. The process has taken a lot longer than I thought though. Thanks for the comment! :)
+GoldJacketLuke I'm glad to hear you have really started to see you where you are and what kind of relationship you have with porn. I think those steps are really important in eventually getting the desire to simply quit porn for good because you realise it is not doing good things to you and the person you want to become.
I was heavily addicted to porn just before I quit. I had to watch a 30-minute video and jack off before bed sometimes every night or otherwise I would feel like I was "missing out" on the orgasms and pleasant dopamine releases if I didn't do it. Really I needed the porn and the orgasms just to lift me up back to normal again after feeling down (like a smoker needs their cigarettes). And I was constantly downloading new videos for every night and I got the very highest-definition stuff I could get because I didn't want to watch the same stuff again and I always wanted the best stuff. So twisted when you think how that could translate into real life into you thinking that girls are just items that you maybe try once and then you start to look for the next fix and what it's gonna be. Then later I moved to webcam sites and I could spend many hours in a night watching a girl and waiting for the show to start. And I would have several tabs open at a time watching different shows. I just indulged in sexual entertainment. And it was just taking SO much of my time. I'm glad I never spent a dollar in porn/webcam sites, though, probably because I was a broke high school student. Yeah pretty fucked up to think something like this happening when you are still in high school/18 years old.
I think it's really quite some time after (maybe a few months) you quit porn that you really start to see how it was affecting you and how you see sexuality/women/sex all that time, like I can see how it was affecting me. And it's easy to deny or not see this when you are still watching porn, to justify what you are doing, or because it is in general often hard for us to admit something is not right about us. For me it didn't require any effort to stop watching porn and I haven't got any temptations since. I simply don't want to watch it anymore.
I really think you are on the right path on your efforts to quit porn. I believe it all goes well for you, too. :) It definitely changed my life a big step for the better. -Mikko
Thanks Luke, this inspires me to go further and not fap
I too failed on my no-fap last night:D Nbd though, it starts again!
I'm curious man, what's your stance on numerology? Do you feel the universe communicates to us through numbers? I've just been seeing a shit ton of repeating numbers lately...mostly 11:11 and variations of it.
when you talk about quitting porn are you also saying quit masturbating? or still masturbate but to thoughts of women without looking at porn because i thought masturbation wasnt necessarily a bad thing?
Hey Luke! I think quitting porn is unnecessary. Everything's fine on moderate amounts.
Can you talk about being "friendzoned"? cause I told my friend that I like her and she said we're just friends. I'm not sure if I should insist or just wait or forget about her.. I've no idea
Salu2
I never had a "porn problem", with that being said, I don't get the white and black painting of porn being good or bad. You know at one point as humans we ran in tribes in the wild, ass naked, your fellow man having all their business out and about.. Over time we've sheltered ourselves more and more from reality and our sexuality. The extreme taboo of sex in itself only lends to the demonization. Now with that being said, could there be negatives? Sure, but the attempt to paint it as an extreme negative, is not really ideal. I've done all the no fap bullshit, I've found benefit, but it all evens out. I just think this obsession of it being extremely good or extremely bad is just not practical.
Hey, is this your full-time job making videos ?
You guys should look up what a placebo is
please someone who has quit porn for a long time tell me what is it like what changes do you feel?
Hang in there. Remember, its about the journey.
If you truly want to beat this damn curse of an addiction, you have to have to completely take a break from woman in general, in real life and the Internet, focused on your self, build your empire and things will fall into place.
The farthest I get is skipping at least 1 day.
It's about acceptance. If I fap I fap can't keep lying to myself.
shower before the gym? bold strategy
point is once u see right through it u won't feel the urge to watch it anymore.
+testdest tester Yep! "Tao says if you impose a discipline on yourself, you will be a slave. The discipline has to arise out of your awareness, then you be a master". However, that doesn't mean that the time spent as a slave must be avoided. If you can push on through the slavery, understand why the discipline you've used to enslave yourself is important and worthwhile, then you've flipped direction and become the master while still having benefit from having the discipline without the understanding.
The longer I abstain from porn, the more realizations and awareness I've had on how porn was affecting me negatively. So I am kind of a slave to my discipline. But because I am disciplined, new awareness comes to me. And eventually hopefully I'll see right through it and have no desire/urge to look at naked women online/porn. But the discipline helps progress that awareness growth.
Cool thoughts here:
www.reddit.com/r/getdisciplined/comments/3wiekr/discussion_tao_says_if_you_impose_a_discipline_on/
there's a whole theory behind this thought, that's awsome!
what helped you do the no fap for 90 days? ive been struggling a bit with that, and it's a goal of mine.
Once a month is fine is normal. Thinking women are got is normal... I think it's great. Less is better but you are normal and no judgements. Women live sex like we do. reality check!
never watch porn ever again..... 1 month later watches porn, wtf bro?
is the no porn challenge in conjunction with the no fap? Plus porn is everywhere not just porn sites - think instagram, twitter, fb etc
I know mate,the world makes it so hard not to.
Its not hard, I deleted IG Twitter Facebook sc everything. I've hardly seen anything sexual in I can't remember how long.
Rock on dude!
Happy late birthday i guess lol. I didnt see anything on FB yo..
How do you deal with the thoughts around your head about this?
- I'm talking about the porn which you have watched,.... so let's assume that you quit... so how do you deal with this thoughts let's say that they aren't comming in the first week or in the second but in the third, how do you deal with them??
When in your head start comming toughts to be more accurate like the stuff in the book which is named Kamasutra???
How do you handle that?
Thanks for the video! I'm on day 4
Of NOFAP. You're an inspiration to many!
hey am wondering how you deal with the being/doing conundrum?
your vids are awesome but please change the transitions between shots
Looks like no one is trying to forgive in 2021
u were so stoned in this video
Why cold shower ?
If we lived in fun cities with lots to do, guys wouldn't be sneaking away for alone time to JACK around.
Bro I quit porn and masturbating like 10 or 11 months ago, I don't even feel weak enough to give in and relapse even when I see beautiful half naked women, it feels like I was never addicted in the first place. What I did was surrendered myself to the will of Jesus Christ and had faith that he would rescue me. It was a complete renewal of mind, as I said it feels like I was never even addicted to begin with.
+CurtisJames321 true, words can be empty and some people think that that's all it is, is just saying "I surrender" which that's just the first step, the other things to do is to understand that it's not in accordance to Gods will and so if you want to follow him you have to give up certain things and if your willing then he will guide you and give you the strength. I feel like it wasn't even me who had the strength but somehow it was him, like 2 weeks into it I realized I was over it completely because it wasn't a struggle period and I was addicted for 10 years. It's a life long thing, as in you can't have the mentality that you'll "surrender" to God up until you get what you want, and everytime I seem to stray away from God that's when I start to feel more weak. It's having a relationship with him by praying and repentance, true repentance is a sign of humility and our natural weakness and so where we are weak he is strong, if you want to surrender then give your life to him and give
+000bullets Up on everything that doesn't align with his will, as in sin, or in this case have that willingness, if you collect porn then get rid of it. Basically surrender with the mind set that your quitting for God and to please and obey him, not anyone else. Also surrender by humbling yourself by confiding to a more mature and Godly person, God loves humility. It was embarrassing and nerve wracking but I didn't care because I was sick and tired of being addicted and so I was desperate to do anything, and God was faithful to get me out of this problem. Again Surrendering is giving your life to him and serving only him and letting him change you in ways that please him and soon you will be set free.
+CurtisJames321 foresure man! And God bless you too bro!
Luke try out a plant based diet. it will definitely raise your energy.
Ops i failed
The South African accent though !
watching this made me want to watch porn.. ugh addict life.. on the plus side on 40 days no alcohol
Day 7 here
You won't make it.
You got a sinful nature and our flesh drives you to do those things you wanna stop. We have no power within ourselves to save ourselves.
You try to be delighted in yourself instead of being delighted in the one who created you. That's the core problem.
Forgiveness isn't found in yourself either.
*our flesh drives us, all of us being born in Adam. That's why we need to be born from above and put into the new man Jesus Christ by His death, burrial and resurrection.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂