The fact the boys can go from a deep introspective discussion to laughing and joking about killing a leopard (and the roleplay that comes with it) is why this podcast is the absolute best!
I'm reading comments before I got too much into the episode, and this information that there is talk about killing a leopard has me seriously invested!
Personally same tho. This is my genuine thought process. I feel like the animals would feel my vibe and not attack me. But moths ? Birds ? They are not a vibe and plz get me out of here if they are around
As a fellow person terrified of birds; a bird and a leopard are completely different! I'll scream and RUN if a bird flies near me...flight instinct is kicking in full force. A leopard I definitely can't outrun and I'm sure if I throw a punch I might be able to hit, whereas a bird is too small, I think I might be able to fight lol
Fuhad saying he found comfort in James got me tearing up 😔. Everyone deserves a friendship where they feel completely and absolutely safe. Love that for you guys😊😊
He doesn't have a chance. A leopard carries prey that weighs 150kg up trees with its teeth. Just let that sink in. Jaw strength to carry the world's strongest man up a vertical tree, claws strong enough to get you up there. It would snap his neck like a breadstick.
07:50 Fuhad said he was comfortable, that he'd never had a girl he could speak to like her, he could speak to her like he could speak to James. He spoke to her for HOURS and was HIMSELF when speaking to her...AND SLEEPING with her.......and they're just friends?......🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 Wwooooaaaaaoow. Yep, that would have been an end point for me too. That's so sad. I can imagine how she felt. The same way he felt speaking to her is how she felt speaking to him.... she let herself be vulnerable, because she thought they were more.....to then be told 'we're friends'......ouch. FREAKING OUCH. In the same vein, it made me sad that Fuhad was sad. He just didn't know better at the time. 😔
I was about to comment about this. You're with a girl, you know she gets hit on and she has options but she chooses to talk to you for hours, be there for you and you, open up to you, and you thought it was okay to be like "we're just friends" I would have moved on to my next option as well 🤣 like I have put my whole life on pause to be down for you.... why would you say that and then act confused when I'm mad at you.
As a counselor I LOVE this transparent and vulnerable conversation. We develop coping mechanisms in our youth and must learn how to let them go (tell that younger version of yourself "You're safe now") and identify healthy patterns. Would love to chat with you two about that process if you're down. #CultMemberPrivilege
The ick stuff and social media sourced content is cool, but glad to hear some real talk between the boys again, this opening therapy session ting was great 👌🏽👌🏽
When she's going out of her way to tell you that she told someone "oh I'm seeing someone" that's basically her wanting you to know "hey mate, you da one. I'm only interested in you rn." And to take that and say "ohh you shouldn't have said that" it's like "fam Im only here for fun not for the long run", at least to her so it probably hurt her a lot cuz she most likely had JUST finished putting all her eggs in your basket. That's roug man.
It's funny that people say they won't listen to R. Kelly's music but still listen to artists he wrote and composed music for. R. Kelly penned some artists biggest hits to date. He wrote 808 by Blaque, Maxwell: Fortune , Change Faces: G.H.E.T.T.O.U.T, Michael Jackson: You Are Not Alone, Whitney Houston: I Look To You, and many more songs. I'm not condoning what he did but I'm not discarding music from my childhood because people are still watching movies that Harvey Weinstein was involved with.
Not a weird introduction at all! One of the best you guys have done and so honest. Big up yourselves! As a woman listener and a fan, it would be good to hear you guys have these conversations with women (The receipts podcast?) who could potentially share a different perspective. Open and honest discussion in a safe space could influence younger viewers in a positive way to be confident with their feelings and speak their truth, as the flip side of this behaviour causes a lot of damage and trauma in return for everyone involved. Big love
Love this! Because imo what they say they perceive as them speaking ‘factual’ is still their own perspective and not a fact. Would be interesting to see what they’d think about that.
Honestly I’m confused by Fuhad’s confusion. Why would I stick around for someone who told me we’re just friends if I was looking for more? I’d be grateful to know this ASAP so I could find a man who actually loved me the way I needed 🤷🏽♀️
I think it's because you don't jump into relationships that fast. I guess it depends on your past. I had a similar relationship where we were best friends and I loved him so much. Him leaving me broke my heart so badly that I'm not the same. The idea of a new relationship actually seems scary to me so I can understand him. I wanna really get to know the next person I date, and it would be very off putting if they tried to pressure me or move too fast
I mean I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure the whole gist of his story is that he didn't realize he loved her at the time (likely due to being young and not knowing what that's like) and only realized after he'd let her slip through his fingers.
@@Lulu2u I totally understand where it is you’re coming from, but with how you’ve been “left feeling”, you should seek therapy (for relationships) before jumping out there trying to get to know anyone. That’s quite annoying and unnerving for someone that’s not in your position and is looking for someone to love and be loved by someone. I just feel someone in your position will unconsciously use others to get over your feelings about your past.
@@deejai1173 Your use of quotations confuse me, why did you write "left feeling" like that? But to your point you're right. Since I'm pretty much dating for the first time as an adult I'm still figuring out how to navigate the process. But I have found myself treating people badly and thinking I have the right to bc neither of us are exclusive and I assume the other person doesn't care either way. But I realized how detached I am to the point where I can't even show men that I'm talking to common decency (i.e clear communication). So I am taking a step back from dating bc I am not at all ready
I think his confusion came from the fact that he thought they were on the same page. He thought they both wanted the same things just for her to say she thought they were dating. I understand both sides because she should pull away if she's looking for more and he shouldn't commit if he's not ready.
It's funny that after all his introspection he still doesn't realize that he's not just sparing the other person's feeling by choosing his words more carefully but his as well. So many guys use the "I'm just a blunt person, it's just facts" as a shield but they don't like when that energy is given back.
It's just because Most ppl who say 'I don't speak up bc I don't want to hurt ppl's feelings' are lying to themselves. What they're trying to avoid is either to feel guilty/ like shit, bc they know what they're doing is wrong or they do it's bc they are uncomfortable with confrontation. So they twist it around in their heads as if they are the ones doing someone a favour. When a mature adult knows that communication is how you fix things, this I why I think deep down they know. Also these type of 'flaws' are usually humblebrags. This guy basically 'i have a bad trait ; I care too much about not hurting ppl's feelings'. My mother has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder with narcissistic tendencies. She would always say that one of her biggest flaw was that ''I'm too generous and naive and ppl take advantage of me'' Like B ? No. You want attention so you fake being over the top generous and kind to get compliments and be liked. And when ppl get comfortable, she acts as if they have wild expectations and trying to extort her. When ppl didn't match her energy, bc they either think you're a doormat, a sycophant, have no bounderies; they are sOoo uNgRatEful. When ppl match her energy, she called them clingy, opportunistic and start rumors that they are obsessed with her. Bc you're so great ofc 🙄 The self-centeredness y'all..
This exchange legit confirms why it's important to be open to therapy. Not only because Fuhad starting connecting dots by talking through it (literally talk therapy) but because a professional would have listened but also paused and pointed out all these blindspots. Whereas your homies tend to affirm and make you feel heard without showing you where you're actually just justifying your patterns. It's also just entertaining to watch men realize how incredible a romantic dynamic can be when you actually give it the same respect, loyalty and genuine interest in someone of the opposite sex as a full human being aside from what they do for you. The one that got away isn't meant to be pined after for eternity; it's the cue to do some inner work to break those patterns.
When Fuhad described that situation the girl wasn’t wrong for ending what the relationship could have been she’s better than me if a guy I’m seeing said we just friends I’m blocking him & getting me some one new.
Well done guys for talking about the past relationship trauma. From my experience of helping my husband process his, more men deffo need to have this conversation. You’ve really opened the up the floor for that to happen 👏🧡
Add Therapy sessions to the eps PLEASE! This is bitter sweet because I love hearing your truths but what you're saying gives me so much perspective on my ex's. They used to suddenly act like dicks and I always ended it.....now I know why.......that sucks.
Sabotaging a relationship rather that just keeping it real is being a coward. I will literally tell someone “I’m not happy, we should just be friends “
I think the concept of not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings comes from wanting to have your cake and eat it too. I don’t think it completely has to do with just hurting someone’s feelings - it’s the fact that when you do so you might get a whole new person which is an uneasy thought or thing to deal with.
🎯🎯🎯 and even though he admitted a couple times he wanted his cake and to eat it too, his "solution" isn't to stop entertaining misaligned relationships, it's to _soften_ his truthful delivery in the hopes that he can still receive the same level of access and effort lol It's a learning process, but he could speed it up by talking to someone who isn't just going to validate him. 😬
Being American/Zambian. I can indeed confirm, Dogs in Zambia are different.Those MF’s just mad and angry all the time😂😂, couldn’t put it past them to fight a Leaopard. Good episode BTW.
Is it just me or did Fuhad seem a bit down after he explained what happened to him in a relationship… I listened to the pod this morning and hear his voice change… I must be losing my mind or something
As an introvert I’ve concluded that I’ll just be single forever because I value “me” time too much to deal with people. Like I literally can’t function without down time from people and when I am forced to be with people, I become passive aggressive and don’t really mean to be. Help, how do I fix this😭
Find another introvert. I’m highly introverted and so is my husband. We can be in the house in separate rooms doing our own thing, perfectly happy. We’ve been married almost 12 years.
To the fan request; Divorce him and join the BDSM community get yourself a DOMINANT man! I'm also into freaky shit my last relationship was just like yours, I had to leave now I have a dominant man that rails me like no other.
As a woman I appriciate the truth you guys spoke in the beginning of the video. Understanding of how a man and woman thinks differently and accepting that and come to a way to meet and make it work is essential
currently going through a really rough break up and listening to the first 20 minutes, has really helped me more than i can even describe .. sometimes we do meet our soulmates and it just doesn't work but we just need to be grateful it happened.
As a female, who likes women and has only been with women for the past 6 years. This healed a part of me. That’s all I’ll say. That honest talk in the beginning helped me realize why my ex’s just switched up but then cared and pulled me back in then hated me then missed me and then I was like then let’s do it and they were like “no” I was confused for a while … thank you I hear you and I appreciate the honesty.
People pleaser trait is what Fuhad is describing. I think a lot of people have this trait. Disregarding their own feelings or emotions for the sake of others or to avoid conflict.
I'd much rather be a li'l bit hurt understanding the truth, than much more hurt after time from a lie. It might be a scary and uncomfortable conversation but it can be done compassionately, knowing the other persons feelings and where you stand sooner than later is ultimately best for everyone 🥰🐆
This transparent and vulnerable conversation needs to happen more with men. We are providers but we also need to keep a check on our mental. LOVE this intro! 🙌
"called me sweaty instead of sweety", i had a bro who did this on a regular basis and she didnt even know he was spelling it wrong, the funniest shit i've ever read
Robert Kelly.....tbh, every time I hear his music now, I feel queasy. Can't listen anymore at all. I heard that interview from the stranger things about Drake and I am literally waiting for the skeletons to come tumbling out. 🙃 Its coming....that I know for certain.
These two really have my heart and soul ! The way it goes from deep and vulnerable to laughter makes it that much more authentic, raw and real ! I love love love them😍♥️😍♥️😍♥️😍♥️
My current boyfriend asked me what day halloween was on this year…….asked me “is it the 25th this year?”. He asked me what the difference between a consonant and a vowel is…. He has dated me for a year, did not know how to spell my name (it’s 6 letters long and sees it every time I sent him a message). Did not know how old I was turning on my birthday. Had never heard of Jeffrey darmer or Charles manson. Thought Jack the Ripper was from modern times and asked me when I was describing him if he got away in a car - he saw a modern adaptation of him on a tv show and thought that was real life. Did not know the word crockery existed. Also did not know what a draught excluder was DESPITE OWNING ONE!!! Among a hundred other things. Yeah. I’ve had enough.
lol you caused an issue and say you want peace? lol. you gotta be a girls peace for her to also be yours...Girls want peace too. It sounds like the girl was led to thinking things were one way when it wasnt that. Its all about letting your intentions be known, simple. In terms of how guys speak to girls they're involved with.....its not even what you say...its how you say it...your delivery...thats it, its really simple.
8:15 Fuhad, thank you for sharing. You were right to be honest. And she was right to give you less energy based on the misalignment. If by “repair” you mean that your feelings became stronger toward her and you wanted her full attention again, that simply would’ve required a clearly stated desire to be with her and commit, followed by direct pursuit. If she was still available, that’s it. To all: The hard truth is that keeping things from a person so they don’t react or respond in a way you don’t want, is simply manipulative. Anyone can be honest with me, because I’m honest with myself.
new follower here! been binging all episodes for a few days now. im so appreciative of Fuhad's therapy session. I am always wondering why my significant other is always so cold and emotionless in his communication towards me. There's plenty that comes from his actions that shows he loves me, no doubt, but i am a huge communicator and very affirming with my words and I expect that back so when he sticks to being factual and in my eyes "cold" im always being a crybaby like "oh you dont love me". but never thought of or seen it from this perspective.... It might not be exactly his reason at all... but this point of view is appreciated. 💕💕
I can totally relate, hubby won’t say much but give up his world in a heart bite, ask how high if I say jump, I do wish he says how much he loves me more though.14 years married today🎉
Love this talk in the beginning. New to the family here, but man I resonate with Fuhad. I deal with it. Best thing I learned about it: Do not sacrifice the peace INside yourself, to keep the peace OUTside yourself. When you suppress your feels, it is a betrayal of self. You deserve to be heard, understood, & respected as well. Blessings to all 🙏🏾✊🏾
So interesting to watch. He spoke of putting others peoples feelings before his own so not to hurt them but that stopped him speaking his truth. And then carried on to try and explain it but didn’t speak his full truth because he put the need to ensure someone else wasn’t painted in a bad light before his need to say how he felt. So heart warming to see men able to be open and honest with their feelings. I’ve only dated men who have been so emotionally unavailable I’ve been certain that’s just the norm but you’re proving me wrong, thank god! Keep up the good work
Fellas, I want you to know this is not just a male problem. I am a pragmatic thinker with a passionate soul and have never been that gal who conforms herself around a guy. I figure if something is irritating me now, it will do so later and its best to speak, rather than blow up in a few months because I kept my mouth shut. I have found people who can detach themselves from the emotions and look at the situation as if from a great height are the ones I can meld with in relationships. For the most part, people find this difficult as it always comes down to this: "There are only two questions that human beings have ever fought over, all through history. 'How much do you love me? And, 'Who is in charge?'" - Elizabeth Gilbert. And at the end of the day, people tend to buck change rather than embrace the roller-coaster.
This is funny cause we all overestimate our abilities like this but there is no shot James could survive one on one with a leopard. It's not about how hard you can swing the axe, it's about whether you can even do that fast enough to begin with. He really said he can kill a cheetah like they're not the fastest animal.
I can relate to both of you guys and it’s definitely how we were raised. With Fuhad saying he rather have someone else feel happier than himself is people pleasing tendencies stemmed from when we were younger for example your parent would show anger at you if you got hurt so instead of running to them for support you’ll keep your pain with you cause they yell or become upset at you. & also w James becoming defensive is also from when parents try to guilt trip you for even existing & your response would be like well than why’d you have me? I never asked to be born.
super immature. sit down. have the converation. "im not feeling you" yuck. so childish. use your big boy words. hash it out and move on. its not that deep. ive had guys tell me they are "not feeling it" straight up, no issue. we had a conversation and then moved on with our lives.
I just discovered these guys every morning when I wake up making breakfast getting ready for the day i listen to their topics it’s fucking hilarious and everyone can kinda relate to what they talk about - it makes my day more importantly helps me wake up positive and happy. ❤ from b.c 🇨🇦
Love hearing Bella laugh 😅 but can someone explain who she is? Is she in a relationship with one of the guys/ a friend/ family/ work colleague??? Wheres the connection....
The therapy sesh: I pray to God I don't meet a gent like James😭 I'm exactly the same with breaking up, I'd rather be dumped... I'm not trying to break someone's heart.
Na baby that's not good. Yes, it sucks knowing you're hurting someone that you never wanted or want to hurt. But that is temporary pain. Especially if the relationship hasn't been that long. Don't bind yourself to someone just because you're afraid of hurting their feelings cause it's not only not fair to you but not fair to them either. Think of it this way, you will cause more pain dragging something like that out instead of doing the quick and easy method. ALWAYS do what is best for YOU at the end of the day. As long as your open and honest the other person will understand and be ok.
Not to be dramatic, but I legitimately think the discussion at the end helped me understand what went wrong in my marriage and how we ended up getting divorced. As you say, it's long all around but I really think I have a smidge more understanding now than I did before -- thank you for being so open and candid. I"ve learned things about what guys go through and how y'all understand the world in so many ways, and I've only been around about a month. You're lowkey doing the lord's work. Great show.
I love this chat so deeply... @14minutes in... i came outta substantial relationship with a girl where we had these moments were after months of arguing and misunderstandings and jumping to conclusions, i was sooooo wrapped up in how i said anything that i already could tell that things weren't going to have longevity.. sometimes you really do have to reach a point where you realize that it's not even about making intentions clear before explaining the feelings... I'd tried using "i" pronouns, watched podcasts, read books, tried exercises we could work though.. i just hada finally understand that this person was not willing to hear me irrespective of how i said things or were ready to shift from defense mode and nothing i could do would help. Finding where that breaking point is is the toughest thing. it's been 6 months. i still have days were i can't believe how small i made myself by trying to be the bigger person
@@chiannegibbs9462 it's deep bruhv.... update: we've chatted since. it's been a year. She's apologized for being that way. Ive apologized for not making my requirements more clear from the get go. She's moved countries. We said goodbye amicably and wished each other well = the best possible outcome
James describing what women have been refusing to believe forever: a man will make you dump him, then beg you to take him back AND HE KNOWS HE DOESNT WANT YOU. not shouting, emphasizing. Just because he's begging you to take him back but it's NOT because he actually wants you. I'm HERE for the self-awareness, the growth, but especially the HEALING.
The thing about R.Kelly and Drake is that's what R.Kelly was in our time he was our Drake. That's why everyone knew what he did but was shut this lil girl up.
The fact the boys can go from a deep introspective discussion to laughing and joking about killing a leopard (and the roleplay that comes with it) is why this podcast is the absolute best!
I'm reading comments before I got too much into the episode, and this information that there is talk about killing a leopard has me seriously invested!
THE BESTTTTT
The way fuhad really digs
And the way james listens
Perfect combination 👌🔥
It’s everything 🔥🔥🔥
Haven't even started watching and this comment already has me laughing 🤣 a leopard of all things
James: Terrified of birds and moths.
Also James: I could take a leopard on my own 🤣
Dead ass 😂😂😂😂
That has me laughing so hard!!!
Listen🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 i screamed
Personally same tho. This is my genuine thought process. I feel like the animals would feel my vibe and not attack me. But moths ? Birds ? They are not a vibe and plz get me out of here if they are around
As a fellow person terrified of birds; a bird and a leopard are completely different! I'll scream and RUN if a bird flies near me...flight instinct is kicking in full force. A leopard I definitely can't outrun and I'm sure if I throw a punch I might be able to hit, whereas a bird is too small, I think I might be able to fight lol
Fuhad saying he found comfort in James got me tearing up 😔. Everyone deserves a friendship where they feel completely and absolutely safe. Love that for you guys😊😊
you can have that with Jesus😊
@@immmawatchernah
I got someone like this he's been my mate a year instantly we clicked he brings the best out in me and I can just be myself
@@immmawatcheryou can also have it with you’re homie doesn’t have to be Jesus
@@swadexrage236I can relate to this
James’s toxic trait is thinking he can body these wild animals 😂
Factssss!!!! 😂
He doesn't have a chance. A leopard carries prey that weighs 150kg up trees with its teeth. Just let that sink in. Jaw strength to carry the world's strongest man up a vertical tree, claws strong enough to get you up there. It would snap his neck like a breadstick.
@@davesmith826"Acthually"☝️🤓
@@pr0dbysixsomebody outsmarted you one day and you never got over it
@@fazormcghee7936😂😂😂😂
07:50 Fuhad said he was comfortable, that he'd never had a girl he could speak to like her, he could speak to her like he could speak to James. He spoke to her for HOURS and was HIMSELF when speaking to her...AND SLEEPING with her.......and they're just friends?......🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 Wwooooaaaaaoow.
Yep, that would have been an end point for me too. That's so sad. I can imagine how she felt.
The same way he felt speaking to her is how she felt speaking to him.... she let herself be vulnerable, because she thought they were more.....to then be told 'we're friends'......ouch. FREAKING OUCH.
In the same vein, it made me sad that Fuhad was sad. He just didn't know better at the time. 😔
I was confused, it sounded like he was upset she was in a relationship he thought they could be more.
Growth. He probably could benefit from learning tact.
I was about to comment about this. You're with a girl, you know she gets hit on and she has options but she chooses to talk to you for hours, be there for you and you, open up to you, and you thought it was okay to be like "we're just friends" I would have moved on to my next option as well 🤣 like I have put my whole life on pause to be down for you.... why would you say that and then act confused when I'm mad at you.
Nah those are conversations that need to be had tho. Are we exclusive or seeing other people. I understand what your saying but still
@@juisijuis8490 at what cost, sad this basic lessons have to be learnt like that
As a counselor I LOVE this transparent and vulnerable conversation. We develop coping mechanisms in our youth and must learn how to let them go (tell that younger version of yourself "You're safe now") and identify healthy patterns. Would love to chat with you two about that process if you're down. #CultMemberPrivilege
Can you help me?
@@mychelledismuke8234 If I can. What do you need help with?
Thank you for that! 🙏🏽 “tell that younger version of your self - you’re safe now” I needed that 🫶🏽
I appreciate you so much for this 😍
This was beautiful...
Someone said James’ toxic trait is thinking he can fight anyone and anything and I think they’re right 😂
lol the part on Drake in the R Kelly segment may not be aging so well 😂😂
Exactly what I was thinking 🫣🥴
Hahahaha it did not. I gotta do it... A MINORRRRRRRR. Lol.
😂😂😂 the comment I was looking for
was about to say😂😂😂😂😂
Dude that drake comment ain't age well
The ick stuff and social media sourced content is cool, but glad to hear some real talk between the boys again, this opening therapy session ting was great 👌🏽👌🏽
When she's going out of her way to tell you that she told someone "oh I'm seeing someone" that's basically her wanting you to know "hey mate, you da one. I'm only interested in you rn." And to take that and say "ohh you shouldn't have said that" it's like "fam Im only here for fun not for the long run", at least to her so it probably hurt her a lot cuz she most likely had JUST finished putting all her eggs in your basket.
That's roug man.
yeah, I would react the same way the girl reacted
It's funny that people say they won't listen to R. Kelly's music but still listen to artists he wrote and composed music for. R. Kelly penned some artists biggest hits to date. He wrote 808 by Blaque, Maxwell: Fortune , Change Faces: G.H.E.T.T.O.U.T, Michael Jackson: You Are Not Alone, Whitney Houston: I Look To You, and many more songs. I'm not condoning what he did but I'm not discarding music from my childhood because people are still watching movies that Harvey Weinstein was involved with.
Not them predicting Drake's downfall 😅
I NEED James to give me summaries on all the shows I want to watch 😂
No fr because I’m from the us and some of the movies/shows he be breaking down for us got me INVESTED
Not a weird introduction at all! One of the best you guys have done and so honest. Big up yourselves! As a woman listener and a fan, it would be good to hear you guys have these conversations with women (The receipts podcast?) who could potentially share a different perspective. Open and honest discussion in a safe space could influence younger viewers in a positive way to be confident with their feelings and speak their truth, as the flip side of this behaviour causes a lot of damage and trauma in return for everyone involved. Big love
Love this! Because imo what they say they perceive as them speaking ‘factual’ is still their own perspective and not a fact. Would be interesting to see what they’d think about that.
Honestly I’m confused by Fuhad’s confusion. Why would I stick around for someone who told me we’re just friends if I was looking for more? I’d be grateful to know this ASAP so I could find a man who actually loved me the way I needed 🤷🏽♀️
I think it's because you don't jump into relationships that fast. I guess it depends on your past. I had a similar relationship where we were best friends and I loved him so much. Him leaving me broke my heart so badly that I'm not the same. The idea of a new relationship actually seems scary to me so I can understand him. I wanna really get to know the next person I date, and it would be very off putting if they tried to pressure me or move too fast
I mean I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure the whole gist of his story is that he didn't realize he loved her at the time (likely due to being young and not knowing what that's like) and only realized after he'd let her slip through his fingers.
@@Lulu2u I totally understand where it is you’re coming from, but with how you’ve been “left feeling”, you should seek therapy (for relationships) before jumping out there trying to get to know anyone. That’s quite annoying and unnerving for someone that’s not in your position and is looking for someone to love and be loved by someone. I just feel someone in your position will unconsciously use others to get over your feelings about your past.
@@deejai1173 Your use of quotations confuse me, why did you write "left feeling" like that? But to your point you're right. Since I'm pretty much dating for the first time as an adult I'm still figuring out how to navigate the process. But I have found myself treating people badly and thinking I have the right to bc neither of us are exclusive and I assume the other person doesn't care either way. But I realized how detached I am to the point where I can't even show men that I'm talking to common decency (i.e clear communication). So I am taking a step back from dating bc I am not at all ready
I think his confusion came from the fact that he thought they were on the same page. He thought they both wanted the same things just for her to say she thought they were dating. I understand both sides because she should pull away if she's looking for more and he shouldn't commit if he's not ready.
Girls had an insight of what a boys conversation looks like from deep to laughing 😂
What you think girls do?
@@TheFaro2011it's not a comparison tho
That leopard segment🤣 as a Zambian I can tell you more wild stuff happens 😂 that’s just the tip of the iceberg 😭 love from Zambia 🇿🇲 ❤
As a fellow Zambian, I agree! 😂❤️
Zambia ku Chalo. Didn't believe what I was hearing
LOL i immediately ran to the comments to look for my Zambia Brethren
@@emmanuelzulu4347 LOL, same!
My country people !! 🥳🥳
The way Bella laughed at the bridge joke 🤣🤣🤣
ps: im new to the channel, who is bella?
Same, I was wondering Bella was his ex
@@buaaw Fuhad's roommate. Whenever bro he speaks about her, it's seems like they have a pretty platonic relationship 💯👍🏾
47:59 hits a bit different after Kendrick's Not Like Us this year.
It's funny that after all his introspection he still doesn't realize that he's not just sparing the other person's feeling by choosing his words more carefully but his as well. So many guys use the "I'm just a blunt person, it's just facts" as a shield but they don't like when that energy is given back.
Exactly! Men can be flat out rude and "straight up". But if you even slightly speak the truth... they turn into a big ass baby
Exactly! The both of them are still emotionally immature.
It's just because Most ppl who say 'I don't speak up bc I don't want to hurt ppl's feelings' are lying to themselves.
What they're trying to avoid is either to feel guilty/ like shit, bc they know what they're doing is wrong or they do it's bc they are uncomfortable with confrontation.
So they twist it around in their heads as if they are the ones doing someone a favour.
When a mature adult knows that communication is how you fix things, this I why I think deep down they know.
Also these type of 'flaws' are usually humblebrags.
This guy basically 'i have a bad trait ; I care too much about not hurting ppl's feelings'.
My mother has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder with narcissistic tendencies.
She would always say that one of her biggest flaw was that ''I'm too generous and naive and ppl take advantage of me''
Like B ? No. You want attention so you fake being over the top generous and kind to get compliments and be liked.
And when ppl get comfortable, she acts as if they have wild expectations and trying to extort her.
When ppl didn't match her energy, bc they either think you're a doormat, a sycophant, have no bounderies; they are sOoo uNgRatEful.
When ppl match her energy, she called them clingy, opportunistic and start rumors that they are obsessed with her. Bc you're so great ofc 🙄
The self-centeredness y'all..
Exactly! I was listening and saying, “No, dude. Just be more tactful! Choose your words more carefully.”
This exchange legit confirms why it's important to be open to therapy. Not only because Fuhad starting connecting dots by talking through it (literally talk therapy) but because a professional would have listened but also paused and pointed out all these blindspots. Whereas your homies tend to affirm and make you feel heard without showing you where you're actually just justifying your patterns.
It's also just entertaining to watch men realize how incredible a romantic dynamic can be when you actually give it the same respect, loyalty and genuine interest in someone of the opposite sex as a full human being aside from what they do for you. The one that got away isn't meant to be pined after for eternity; it's the cue to do some inner work to break those patterns.
Women walk around thinking of being attacked on a regular basis, of course she was ready. 💪😌
When Fuhad described that situation the girl wasn’t wrong for ending what the relationship could have been she’s better than me if a guy I’m seeing said we just friends I’m blocking him & getting me some one new.
Guys should learn this too instead of complaining about the friendzone
Well done guys for talking about the past relationship trauma. From my experience of helping my husband process his, more men deffo need to have this conversation. You’ve really opened the up the floor for that to happen 👏🧡
Girl how did you get your husband to open up about past relationship trauma? I think it's amazing that you're helping him heal
The Drake thing didn't age well
Add Therapy sessions to the eps PLEASE!
This is bitter sweet because I love hearing your truths but what you're saying gives me so much perspective on my ex's. They used to suddenly act like dicks and I always ended it.....now I know why.......that sucks.
James is feeling his M'Baku against that leopard!
Such a cool conversation to start out with, props for having and showing it.
Really liked the intro this week. You boys should deffo discuss more of the deep stuff
The talk about Drake and r Kelly and mention of Kendrick all feel very topical now in 2024 lol
Sabotaging a relationship rather that just keeping it real is being a coward. I will literally tell someone “I’m not happy, we should just be friends “
Now I have to get Apple TV because James said, "The Servant" is a must see...Damn it! 🤦🏾♀️😂
It’s a show must see it’s on season 4 by now
Me 2 😂
The drake part didnt age well LMAO
James talking about killing a leopard 🥱 😂😂😂😂😂🤣l feel sorry for his ego.
I think the concept of not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings comes from wanting to have your cake and eat it too. I don’t think it completely has to do with just hurting someone’s feelings - it’s the fact that when you do so you might get a whole new person which is an uneasy thought or thing to deal with.
That's it.
🎯🎯🎯 and even though he admitted a couple times he wanted his cake and to eat it too, his "solution" isn't to stop entertaining misaligned relationships, it's to _soften_ his truthful delivery in the hopes that he can still receive the same level of access and effort lol It's a learning process, but he could speed it up by talking to someone who isn't just going to validate him. 😬
Truth without kindness is violence. Balance needs to be found and kept 💕✨
Beautifully said!
Being American/Zambian. I can indeed confirm, Dogs in Zambia are different.Those MF’s just mad and angry all the time😂😂, couldn’t put it past them to fight a Leaopard.
Good episode BTW.
seeing a new episode posted always makes me excited (and gets me to clean my house)
Yeaahh they get me in kitchen cheffing it up...full 3 course meals with the sides and sauces too cause I got time 😂
The Drake sequence of the video age like fine wine
Is it just me or did Fuhad seem a bit down after he explained what happened to him in a relationship… I listened to the pod this morning and hear his voice change… I must be losing my mind or something
No I definitely hear it too
no one is supposed to be as attractive and funny as James is. Not fair
Ditto, but Fuhad and his thighs lol 😆 🥰
As an introvert I’ve concluded that I’ll just be single forever because I value “me” time too much to deal with people. Like I literally can’t function without down time from people and when I am forced to be with people, I become passive aggressive and don’t really mean to be. Help, how do I fix this😭
As a fellow introvert I can relate
👀 it concerns me how much I relate to this. Christmas is hard.
Find another introvert. I’m highly introverted and so is my husband. We can be in the house in separate rooms doing our own thing, perfectly happy. We’ve been married almost 12 years.
rewatching this one and james' "stopstopstopstopstopstop" always makes me die laughing lmaooo
To the fan request;
Divorce him and join the BDSM community get yourself a DOMINANT man!
I'm also into freaky shit my last relationship was just like yours, I had to leave now I have a dominant man that rails me like no other.
As a woman I appriciate the truth you guys spoke in the beginning of the video. Understanding of how a man and woman thinks differently and accepting that and come to a way to meet and make it work is essential
Fuhad didn’t realize what he had in her. 😢 He’s good now.
currently going through a really rough break up and listening to the first 20 minutes, has really helped me more than i can even describe .. sometimes we do meet our soulmates and it just doesn't work but we just need to be grateful it happened.
That’s the sign of a GREAT comedian when they make you laugh about shit you shouldn’t laugh at 😂😂😂
As a female, who likes women and has only been with women for the past 6 years. This healed a part of me. That’s all I’ll say. That honest talk in the beginning helped me realize why my ex’s just switched up but then cared and pulled me back in then hated me then missed me and then I was like then let’s do it and they were like “no” I was confused for a while … thank you I hear you and I appreciate the honesty.
Not me switching from Spotify to TH-cam for the visuals 😂
Man the conversation about drake didn’t age well
People pleaser trait is what Fuhad is describing. I think a lot of people have this trait. Disregarding their own feelings or emotions for the sake of others or to avoid conflict.
I'd much rather be a li'l bit hurt understanding the truth, than much more hurt after time from a lie. It might be a scary and uncomfortable conversation but it can be done compassionately, knowing the other persons feelings and where you stand sooner than later is ultimately best for everyone 🥰🐆
What James said about being oxymoronic was what kept me in my toxic relationship for 6 years 😂 that relationship trauma be HITTIN
This transparent and vulnerable conversation needs to happen more with men. We are providers but we also need to keep a check on our mental. LOVE this intro! 🙌
I really like these guys !!! Both good listeners and both intelligent and funny
"fantasize about the claws" im actually crying😂😂😂😂😂😂
U guys need to be on an episode of goggle box!! It would be jokes, they need a late night addition or something n get u guys on 🤣
Robert Kelly songs are made about the young girls he had in his dungeon 👎🏿
"called me sweaty instead of sweety", i had a bro who did this on a regular basis and she didnt even know he was spelling it wrong, the funniest shit i've ever read
Robert Kelly.....tbh, every time I hear his music now, I feel queasy. Can't listen anymore at all. I heard that interview from the stranger things about Drake and I am literally waiting for the skeletons to come tumbling out. 🙃
Its coming....that I know for certain.
the drake thing aged like milk 😹
I feel swindled. It's been early, then mid, then late August and I'm still waiting for James to rip his top and do the episode topless...
These two really have my heart and soul ! The way it goes from deep and vulnerable to laughter makes it that much more authentic, raw and real ! I love love love them😍♥️😍♥️😍♥️😍♥️
My current boyfriend asked me what day halloween was on this year…….asked me “is it the 25th this year?”. He asked me what the difference between a consonant and a vowel is…. He has dated me for a year, did not know how to spell my name (it’s 6 letters long and sees it every time I sent him a message). Did not know how old I was turning on my birthday. Had never heard of Jeffrey darmer or Charles manson. Thought Jack the Ripper was from modern times and asked me when I was describing him if he got away in a car - he saw a modern adaptation of him on a tv show and thought that was real life. Did not know the word crockery existed. Also did not know what a draught excluder was DESPITE OWNING ONE!!! Among a hundred other things. Yeah. I’ve had enough.
lol you caused an issue and say you want peace? lol. you gotta be a girls peace for her to also be yours...Girls want peace too. It sounds like the girl was led to thinking things were one way when it wasnt that. Its all about letting your intentions be known, simple. In terms of how guys speak to girls they're involved with.....its not even what you say...its how you say it...your delivery...thats it, its really simple.
I would be sore and sooo uninterested 😂😂😂😂 dying 👌👌👌 you guys make my day, love from Slovenia 🇸🇮
I am so sorry but would it kill someone to refer to woman as woman…not female …
How is James right knee looking like Casper face lol
Ha! I can't unsee it 💀 😂
@@stephpowell7648 through out the whole video my eyes locked onto his knee lol
😭😭
The Drake discussion did not age well 😂😂
I swear, I wanted to be the first person to say this 🤣. I hope they bring it up soon on a newer episode.
8:15 Fuhad, thank you for sharing. You were right to be honest. And she was right to give you less energy based on the misalignment.
If by “repair” you mean that your feelings became stronger toward her and you wanted her full attention again, that simply would’ve required a clearly stated desire to be with her and commit, followed by direct pursuit. If she was still available, that’s it.
To all: The hard truth is that keeping things from a person so they don’t react or respond in a way you don’t want, is simply manipulative.
Anyone can be honest with me, because I’m honest with myself.
Now I just want to see James vs leopard 😂😂😂
new follower here! been binging all episodes for a few days now. im so appreciative of Fuhad's therapy session. I am always wondering why my significant other is always so cold and emotionless in his communication towards me. There's plenty that comes from his actions that shows he loves me, no doubt, but i am a huge communicator and very affirming with my words and I expect that back so when he sticks to being factual and in my eyes "cold" im always being a crybaby like "oh you dont love me". but never thought of or seen it from this perspective.... It might not be exactly his reason at all... but this point of view is appreciated. 💕💕
I can totally relate, hubby won’t say much but give up his world in a heart bite, ask how high if I say jump, I do wish he says how much he loves me more though.14 years married today🎉
Love this talk in the beginning. New to the family here, but man I resonate with Fuhad. I deal with it. Best thing I learned about it: Do not sacrifice the peace INside yourself, to keep the peace OUTside yourself. When you suppress your feels, it is a betrayal of self. You deserve to be heard, understood, & respected as well. Blessings to all 🙏🏾✊🏾
So interesting to watch. He spoke of putting others peoples feelings before his own so not to hurt them but that stopped him speaking his truth. And then carried on to try and explain it but didn’t speak his full truth because he put the need to ensure someone else wasn’t painted in a bad light before his need to say how he felt. So heart warming to see men able to be open and honest with their feelings. I’ve only dated men who have been so emotionally unavailable I’ve been certain that’s just the norm but you’re proving me wrong, thank god! Keep up the good work
"What makes sad people jump?"
"Bridges"
*woman off camera* : 🤣🤣🤭
As a Zambian I can comprehend the leopard thing. We had lions escape a zoo multiple times
How did they let it happen more than once!?
@@kimberlyodonnell3076 i wish i could tell you honestly. i have no clue 😂
Just put them back in the wild bro
It’s the dj’s fault that I’m stepping in the name of love bro!!💃💃💃
JAMES!
The Servant is possibly one of the best show recommendation to date! HOOKED!
Crazy how they talked about Drake and Kendrick
well the drake one didn't age well 🤣🤣
If you find a girl you can be yourself with that's a wife
Fellas, I want you to know this is not just a male problem. I am a pragmatic thinker with a passionate soul and have never been that gal who conforms herself around a guy. I figure if something is irritating me now, it will do so later and its best to speak, rather than blow up in a few months because I kept my mouth shut. I have found people who can detach themselves from the emotions and look at the situation as if from a great height are the ones I can meld with in relationships. For the most part, people find this difficult as it always comes down to this: "There are only two questions that human beings have ever fought over, all through history. 'How much do you love me? And, 'Who is in charge?'" - Elizabeth Gilbert. And at the end of the day, people tend to buck change rather than embrace the roller-coaster.
This is funny cause we all overestimate our abilities like this but there is no shot James could survive one on one with a leopard. It's not about how hard you can swing the axe, it's about whether you can even do that fast enough to begin with. He really said he can kill a cheetah like they're not the fastest animal.
Loved the Therapy sessions intro/section. Please do more. Its more appreciated than you actually think. Learnt so much
I can relate to both of you guys and it’s definitely how we were raised. With Fuhad saying he rather have someone else feel happier than himself is people pleasing tendencies stemmed from when we were younger for example your parent would show anger at you if you got hurt so instead of running to them for support you’ll keep your pain with you cause they yell or become upset at you. & also w James becoming defensive is also from when parents try to guilt trip you for even existing & your response would be like well than why’d you have me? I never asked to be born.
super immature. sit down. have the converation. "im not feeling you" yuck. so childish. use your big boy words. hash it out and move on. its not that deep. ive had guys tell me they are "not feeling it" straight up, no issue. we had a conversation and then moved on with our lives.
Thank you for the laughs n thighs guys 😂 Them thighs be thighing 😍😘
I just discovered these guys every morning when I wake up making breakfast getting ready for the day i listen to their topics it’s fucking hilarious and everyone can kinda relate to what they talk about - it makes my day more importantly helps me wake up positive and happy. ❤ from b.c 🇨🇦
1:08:00 the movie James is referencing is “Thursday” with Thomas Jane
Love hearing Bella laugh 😅 but can someone explain who she is? Is she in a relationship with one of the guys/ a friend/ family/ work colleague??? Wheres the connection....
I've been watching consistently for the last 3 months. I've done the backlog.
I think for the first time ever. I might run the P.
Fuck.
Do it. 😈
The way u guys got me trying to decide between extra gas money and joining patreon 🤦🏽♀️🤣 best podcast!!!
The therapy sesh: I pray to God I don't meet a gent like James😭 I'm exactly the same with breaking up, I'd rather be dumped... I'm not trying to break someone's heart.
you will be married with children just because you both didn't have the heart to break up 😂😂😭
@@atomickitten4648 That's where my fear lies😭😭😭
Na baby that's not good. Yes, it sucks knowing you're hurting someone that you never wanted or want to hurt. But that is temporary pain. Especially if the relationship hasn't been that long. Don't bind yourself to someone just because you're afraid of hurting their feelings cause it's not only not fair to you but not fair to them either. Think of it this way, you will cause more pain dragging something like that out instead of doing the quick and easy method. ALWAYS do what is best for YOU at the end of the day. As long as your open and honest the other person will understand and be ok.
@@MommaButters I needed to see that ❤️ thank you
Not to be dramatic, but I legitimately think the discussion at the end helped me understand what went wrong in my marriage and how we ended up getting divorced. As you say, it's long all around but I really think I have a smidge more understanding now than I did before -- thank you for being so open and candid. I"ve learned things about what guys go through and how y'all understand the world in so many ways, and I've only been around about a month. You're lowkey doing the lord's work. Great show.
I love this chat so deeply... @14minutes in... i came outta substantial relationship with a girl where we had these moments were after months of arguing and misunderstandings and jumping to conclusions, i was sooooo wrapped up in how i said anything that i already could tell that things weren't going to have longevity.. sometimes you really do have to reach a point where you realize that it's not even about making intentions clear before explaining the feelings... I'd tried using "i" pronouns, watched podcasts, read books, tried exercises we could work though.. i just hada finally understand that this person was not willing to hear me irrespective of how i said things or were ready to shift from defense mode and nothing i could do would help. Finding where that breaking point is is the toughest thing. it's been 6 months. i still have days were i can't believe how small i made myself by trying to be the bigger person
That last sentence 👏🏾👏🏾 a word Mann
@@chiannegibbs9462 it's deep bruhv.... update: we've chatted since. it's been a year. She's apologized for being that way. Ive apologized for not making my requirements more clear from the get go. She's moved countries. We said goodbye amicably and wished each other well = the best possible outcome
I like the vulnerability and transparency at the beginning. However there is still a lot of room for growth in emotional intelligence.
🇿🇲 featuring
James was chatting shit 😂 a leopard 🐆
James describing what women have been refusing to believe forever: a man will make you dump him, then beg you to take him back AND HE KNOWS HE DOESNT WANT YOU. not shouting, emphasizing. Just because he's begging you to take him back but it's NOT because he actually wants you. I'm HERE for the self-awareness, the growth, but especially the HEALING.
The thing about R.Kelly and Drake is that's what R.Kelly was in our time he was our Drake. That's why everyone knew what he did but was shut this lil girl up.