No secrets for making friends. I'm terrible at it, and it seems that when I do make an effort it is never reciprocated. It seems everyone is "too busy" or hiding in their phones, as you mentioned. I recently reconnected with friends from high school and it was marvellous. To bad they live so far away. Making new friends seems impossible now. The "friends" you had at work all vanish once you retire. I'm thinking it's not just us older folks either. My daughter has always been outgoing and had lots of friends. She's finding now that she puts in the effort to host various types of get-togethers and it is very rarely reciprocated. I'm thinking these women are all looking at Pinterest and worried they will never measure up. Everything has to be so perfect - such a show. It seems no one just has a casual cup of tea at the kitchen table.
Agree so much that people just won't relax and have a cup of tea or coffee at the kitchen table anymore. People aren't that busy...they spend hrs on Facebook and Instagram avoiding human contact.
Some people just don't plan things. It's my opinion that if I'm doing all the planning, THAT is my contribution. Others will step up to provide snacks or beverages- if they don't I, as the planner, give assignments. Might sound "bossy" but actually friends are less likely to cancel or not show up when they are "needed" in some capacity.
You are right about following your passions. I am finding that just doing the things I enjoy help me stay emotionally stable. However, joining groups doesn't always attract like people. Just because you have similar interests doesn't mean you have similar values. I've had to take a step back, refocus on myself and just trust that the right people will come when I am happy with myself.
Thank you again!! This is wonderful! I’m going through a separation now and love your ideas! Most of my friends were my husbands’ friends and now they have all gone away. Soooo grateful for your TH-cam videos. They bring me joy and happiness every day! :).
Thank you for being open about this issue. School college work and children have always bought me opporunities to make friends with no concious effort from me at all. Now I am at home with my partner still out at work. Getting a dog has really helped me exercise and meet people who have a dog. If I don't know what to say , I simply ask them about their dog. People LOVE to talk about their dogs!!! Xx
It's very easy for me to meet people but I realize that not everyone has the courage to step out and make the move towards friendship. As I approach leaving my full time job, I am consciously making the effort to invite the people I like to get together. I also think it's great to have friends in different age ranges
I met my now boyfriend of 12 years at a Meet Up card group. My long range best friend. He has been a Godsend--got me through the loss of my dear Mom and her 2 year stay in the nursing home out state. He's been there for me when my children became scarce.
Great topic, I think if you've found someone that you have a rapport with, you might want to ask them to come over for tea or meet for lunch. If they don't reciprocate, be proud that you tried and put yourself out there.
I once met a woman on a plane and we instantly connected. Never thought I'd see her again, then ran into her at a restaurant. She helped me get my first waitressing job in a fabulous restaurant and then was the made of honor at my wedding (40 years 7/23)
Thank you so much from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. This has been very inspirational for me. I moved here about 5 years ago and up until the last couple of years, I didn't have a lot of interest in making friends. I was content. That has changed and I am really restless to meet people to hang out with and do things that I love to do. This has helped give me ideas. Thank you :)
I workout at a gym that is our community recreation center. It is a great way to connect with people from my city and invite them to things like the Bible study I attend or to attend events about political issues affecting us.
I love that when traveling in Europe, we have sat with total strangers and engaged in wonderful conversations. In the US people are more reserved. Yes, we do have Meetup in the US.
This is such a helpful video - I've never thought about first getting yourself ready to meet new friends and it's so true. I've gradually been doing this over the last couple of years and now I feel as if I have a lot more to offer, and interests that I want to share with others. I love hiking & van camping and while I like doing these two things on my own, occasionally it would be great to do it with other women.
Hi Margaret, I appreciate you, your knowledge and insights, you hit this topic right on the money I agree with the less friends thru whatever circumstances as we enter our 60's, I'm 59 and I'm sure the 70's and 80's could be lonelier without a friend(s) or some interest to keep us happy, healthy and motivated! I was in line yesterday at a crafts and art store two older ladies were behind me with a cart of canvas, oils, brushes, I ask who was the artist and it's the 92 years young tiny lady who enjoying sharing a story or two and gave me great advice, she said the 80's will be the best years as you are free to enjoy and be creative! Many women our age group have adult daughters and granddaughters to enjoy time with and some of us don't, I have sons, so thanks again for speaking my thoughts and your advice is greatly received!!
Great tips, Margaret. Enjoyed this presentation very much. Practical and realistic I can really relate to keeping yourself in good physical condition. I've been ill and haven't been able to work out like I used to. I miss feeling strong and confident physically. Working on it. Also, follow your passions is the best advice ever. Where there is passion there is power. It comes from your heart and your mind making it a double power source in your life.
I love how you look in pink. It goes perfect with your blonde hair. I actually went blonde (from red hair) mainly because I really wanted to start wearing pink. My red hair went best with hunter green, dark orange, etc.
Great Video, Great Topic! You are so RIGHT, NOW is the time to get to know oneself first. And follow your passions, not people. EXCELLENT. I love to meditate, started a meditation group but it was difficult to get people to come. It was FREE. I'm in a new town so people don't know me. Have joined a few meet-ups. That was the FIRST thing I did when I moved in. And I'm still friends with the lady who started the group. (although the group disbanded). Love to read, LEARN, and go to conferences. Usually taking a class or two at community college.
Boy you are sure right about the less friends as you get older. I wound up re-connecting with school friends after a class reunion. We get together once a month as we live a few hours apart. As for new friends, I seem to make them from work and local stores I go to chatting wit the cashier or sales gals...my husband is 65 and is still friends with his school and college friends. Lucky, but location can matter too. Thanks for bringing it up.: )
Hello from Charlotte, North Carolina. Thank you for introducing this topic. It's something I've been dealing with for a while. In my case, all of my long-time friends moved out-of-state. I visited each of them early on and communicated via email and phone calls, but eventually realized my efforts to stay in touch were not being reciprocated. Yes, we have meetup.com, but most of the local groups are for younger people, either by definition or because of their interests and where/when they meet. The first group I joined disbanded after only a few months because of a tragedy in the leader's life. I left another group because one of the members started misusing the website to market his business. That became a huge issue and stirred up a lot of rancor. Earlier this week I found a new social activities group for age 60+ and joined, but have not yet received confirmation from the leader, which is a little deflating. Several years ago I picked up knitting again and found a lovely knitting shop that encouraged customers to sit and knit anytime. Great idea, but I'm not a good enough knitter to be able to follow a pattern while keeping up with the chit-chat. Ha!
Meet up - yes it's here in the US . Met my little group of ladies from a bigger Meet up group of women who were not very kind. Sooo we 5 found each other and the 5 of us came together . Funny how that happened but you have to put yourself out there and go alone to see if you like that particular group . I live in a community that I have had a horrible time trying to make friends . I have been very unsuccessful so I have to look outside my community . I've gotten used to it now. My ladies all live an hour away . If you stay home, do nothing & not be proactive then you indeed will be alone . Big hugs!!! Tahoe Gal Sandie .
Funnily enough l did know someone years ago who turned up at my house one night and said we should be friends! It was a great friendship, lasting several years until we drifted apart. (my fault) I have tried art clubs etc., but find it increasingly difficult to 'fit in'. I know it's me who's the oddity, but I feel sometimes the world and his wife have a history that I did not share? I sound very negative but I'm not really - in fact I'm a positive introvert!. 'Och well' as they say here in Scotland, I'll just keep on keeping on! P.S. Forgot to say a big thanks Margaret and I've just been looking at 'meetup' in Glasgow and it's looking pretty good. Will give it a bash.
As usual, I'm two years late watching the videos I need 😋. I'm somewhat of a homebody and wish I had friends like in the movie "Wine Country" but I'm not active enough. 😏
I am a 68 year old retired teacher. My son is 25...doing well at work..has a nice girlfriend...and lives at home right now. My husband retired also..is home ..but financially working. We play golf..i have my cannasta group.. Even though we belong to a country club...so golf cards and dinners are a big part of our marriage. However we yearn for REAL friends. We just dont have any...its all superficial. Should we just be happy with that? Its really fun at times yet life seems to be more difficult...since most our friends are very involved with their families ...and everyone has seems satisfied. Why do i seek more. Are we just too old to expect good friends that are like family? It takes years to establish that and now life seems to have a ending time that looms larger every year. Could it just be a desire to have good friends...that is really not realistic anymore?
Margaret , I really enjoy family history work I am LDS and I love to find out stories about my family here in the US I decided to join YMCA and they have swimming aerobics gentle yoga which I like I also go to the library and if I see Single Ladies or preferably single men I'll talk to them if it's the right time thank you for all that you do for us I really appreciate it
Suggesting 5th point! KEEP TRYING! I started conversations, two women, post office, beauty shop. South African forcefully said, "I am not speaking of politics with you," Owner said she was angry after I left." Second woman complained of her affluent, but changing L.A. neighborhood. I said "gentrification;" she said, "Don't use that word! It's too much like English landed gentry tricks." They a different racial group, but I was interested in new viewpoints, new friends. Offered biz card to 2nd woman. She said, "I know I won't be calling you." I just find people so angry these days, not open to kindness let alone friendship.
My husband and I moved to another state after retirement in our 60's. and my advice is to get involved. I immediately signed up for Contact Help Line, a civic club, joined our church, went to town meetings. I have to say I am not bashful. so it wasn't hard for me to join in the community. After meeting some new friends I liked, I had them over for dinner. I have done that often and now after a few years. I am so busy with a lot of friends. I am in a garden club, 2 card groups, travel club, on a board that is important to me and the community. It wasn't hard for me because I had made my mind up that I was going to be HAPPY!
I understand that a man or a women who above fifty years old have enough knowledge I was socialist in young age but now I am only a democrat now I am seventy years old between young age and old age my ideas and views changed but now in my old age I understand that I have better than young age I want and write also for week and poor people I am sincere for my aim I like the thinker a writer great women
I thought I had a few friends n it turned out to be begging for money all the time for booze n cigs. N using me don't have a car to go places n meet nice people
Chase your passions, not people. Good advice. Thank you. 🌹 And meetup is here in the US.
No secrets for making friends. I'm terrible at it, and it seems that when I do make an effort it is never reciprocated. It seems everyone is "too busy" or hiding in their phones, as you mentioned. I recently reconnected with friends from high school and it was marvellous. To bad they live so far away. Making new friends seems impossible now. The "friends" you had at work all vanish once you retire. I'm thinking it's not just us older folks either. My daughter has always been outgoing and had lots of friends. She's finding now that she puts in the effort to host various types of get-togethers and it is very rarely reciprocated. I'm thinking these women are all looking at Pinterest and worried they will never measure up. Everything has to be so perfect - such a show. It seems no one just has a casual cup of tea at the kitchen table.
Agree so much that people just won't relax and have a cup of tea or coffee at the kitchen table anymore. People aren't that busy...they spend hrs on Facebook and Instagram avoiding human contact.
Some people just don't plan things. It's my opinion that if I'm doing all the planning, THAT is my contribution. Others will step up to provide snacks or beverages- if they don't I, as the planner, give assignments. Might sound "bossy" but actually friends are less likely to cancel or not show up when they are "needed" in some capacity.
You are right about following your passions. I am finding that just doing the things I enjoy help me stay emotionally stable. However, joining groups doesn't always attract like people. Just because you have similar interests doesn't mean you have similar values. I've had to take a step back, refocus on myself and just trust that the right people will come when I am happy with myself.
I like your comment, "follow passions and not people" this is a great way to say it. Thank you. 💛
Thank you so much for addressing this issue. It is so important.
Thank you again!! This is wonderful! I’m going through a separation now and love your ideas! Most of my friends were my husbands’ friends and now they have all gone away. Soooo grateful for your TH-cam videos. They bring me joy and happiness every day! :).
Thanks so much Mira - happy that the videos are helpful and inspiring - wishing you all the best!
Im 58 been divorced for 2 years and I definitely want the right people in my life. Thanks for your advice.
Thank you for being open about this issue. School college work and children have always bought me opporunities to make friends with no concious effort from me at all. Now I am at home with my partner still out at work. Getting a dog has really helped me exercise and meet people who have a dog. If I don't know what to say , I simply ask them about their dog. People LOVE to talk about their dogs!!! Xx
You're right about a dog helping with meeting people, but I found the conversation never got any further than the dog LOL!
It's very easy for me to meet people but I realize that not everyone has the courage to step out and make the move towards friendship. As I approach leaving my full time job, I am consciously making the effort to invite the people I like to get together.
I also think it's great to have friends in different age ranges
I met my now boyfriend of 12 years at a Meet Up card group. My long range best friend. He has been a Godsend--got me through the loss of my dear Mom and her 2 year stay in the nursing home out state. He's been there for me when my children became scarce.
Best advice ever. Get to know yourself first.
Great topic, I think if you've found someone that you have a rapport with, you might want to ask them to come over for tea or meet for lunch. If they don't reciprocate, be proud that you tried and put yourself out there.
I once met a woman on a plane and we instantly connected. Never thought I'd see her again, then ran into her at a restaurant. She helped me get my first waitressing job in a fabulous restaurant and then was the made of honor at my wedding
(40 years 7/23)
Hi Andrea - I met one of my best friends at a train station - travel is such a great way to explore and meet new people!
Thank you so much from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. This has been very inspirational for me. I moved here about 5 years ago and up until the last couple of years, I didn't have a lot of interest in making friends. I was content. That has changed and I am really restless to meet people to hang out with and do things that I love to do. This has helped give me ideas. Thank you :)
I workout at a gym that is our community recreation center. It is a great way to connect with people from my city and invite them to things like the Bible study I attend or to attend events about political issues affecting us.
I love that when traveling in Europe, we have sat with total strangers and engaged in wonderful conversations. In the US people are more reserved. Yes, we do have Meetup in the US.
This is such a helpful video - I've never thought about first getting yourself ready to meet new friends and it's so true. I've gradually been doing this over the last couple of years and now I feel as if I have a lot more to offer, and interests that I want to share with others. I love hiking & van camping and while I like doing these two things on my own, occasionally it would be great to do it with other women.
You're so welcome!
Hi Margaret, I appreciate you, your knowledge and insights, you hit this topic right on the money I agree with the less friends thru whatever circumstances as we enter our 60's, I'm 59 and I'm sure the 70's and 80's could be lonelier without a friend(s) or some interest to keep us happy, healthy and motivated! I was in line yesterday at a crafts and art store two older ladies were behind me with a cart of canvas, oils, brushes, I ask who was the artist and it's the 92 years young tiny lady who enjoying sharing a story or two and gave me great advice, she said the 80's will be the best years as you are free to enjoy and be creative! Many women our age group have adult daughters and granddaughters to enjoy time with and some of us don't, I have sons, so thanks again for speaking my thoughts and your advice is greatly received!!
I am 83 years old and coping with difficulty being mobile. But. much of what you talk about resonates with me and while there are fewer
Fewer people in my life they are important to me and I try to keep the connection
Great tips, Margaret. Enjoyed this presentation very much. Practical and realistic I can really relate to keeping yourself in good physical condition. I've been ill and haven't been able to work out like I used to. I miss feeling strong and confident physically. Working on it. Also, follow your passions is the best advice ever. Where there is passion there is power. It comes from your heart and your mind making it a double power source in your life.
Love where there is passion there is power! Keep going Kari - hope you feel much better and stronger soon! Best wishes, Margaret x
I love how you look in pink. It goes perfect with your blonde hair. I actually went blonde (from red hair) mainly because I really wanted to start wearing pink. My red hair went best with hunter green, dark orange, etc.
Hehehe I love the example of the conversation with the German woman. CHEERS
Great advice... thanks...
Great Video, Great Topic! You are so RIGHT, NOW is the time to get to know oneself first. And follow your passions, not people. EXCELLENT. I love to meditate, started a meditation group but it was difficult to get people to come. It was FREE. I'm in a new town so people don't know me. Have joined a few meet-ups. That was the FIRST thing I did when I moved in. And I'm still friends with the lady who started the group. (although the group disbanded). Love to read, LEARN, and go to conferences. Usually taking a class or two at community college.
Boy you are sure right about the less friends as you get older. I wound up re-connecting with school friends after a class reunion. We get together once a month as we live a few hours apart. As for new friends, I seem to make them from work and local stores I go to chatting wit the cashier or sales gals...my husband is 65 and is still friends with his school and college friends. Lucky, but location can matter too. Thanks for bringing it up.: )
Hello from Charlotte, North Carolina. Thank you for introducing this topic. It's something I've been dealing with for a while. In my case, all of my long-time friends moved out-of-state. I visited each of them early on and communicated via email and phone calls, but eventually realized my efforts to stay in touch were not being reciprocated.
Yes, we have meetup.com, but most of the local groups are for younger people, either by definition or because of their interests and where/when they meet. The first group I joined disbanded after only a few months because of a tragedy in the leader's life. I left another group because one of the members started misusing the website to market his business. That became a huge issue and stirred up a lot of rancor. Earlier this week I found a new social activities group for age 60+ and joined, but have not yet received confirmation from the leader, which is a little deflating. Several years ago I picked up knitting again and found a lovely knitting shop that encouraged customers to sit and knit anytime. Great idea, but I'm not a good enough knitter to be able to follow a pattern while keeping up with the chit-chat. Ha!
Meet up - yes it's here in the US . Met my little group of ladies from a bigger Meet up group of women who were not very kind. Sooo we 5 found each other and the 5 of us came together . Funny how that happened but you have to put yourself out there and go alone to see if you like that particular group . I live in a community that I have had a horrible time trying to make friends . I have been very unsuccessful so I have to look outside my community . I've gotten used to it now. My ladies all live an hour away .
If you stay home, do nothing & not be proactive then you indeed will be alone .
Big hugs!!!
Tahoe Gal Sandie .
Funnily enough l did know someone years ago who turned up at my house one night and said we should be friends! It was a great friendship, lasting several years until we drifted apart. (my fault)
I have tried art clubs etc., but find it increasingly difficult to 'fit in'. I know it's me who's the oddity, but I feel sometimes the world and his wife have a history that I did not share?
I sound very negative but I'm not really - in fact I'm a positive introvert!.
'Och well' as they say here in Scotland, I'll just keep on keeping on!
P.S. Forgot to say a big thanks Margaret and I've just been looking at 'meetup' in Glasgow and it's looking pretty good. Will give it a bash.
Meetup.com is in the US...I used to be part of a walking one.
Good advice
Margaret, they do have meetup.com in the US. Checking it out.
Could you share why you are in Switzerland?
I believe she mentioned in one vid that family members are nearby :)
As usual, I'm two years late watching the videos I need 😋. I'm somewhat of a homebody and wish I had friends like in the movie "Wine Country" but I'm not active enough. 😏
I like to attend political events to meet people who share my values. Often retired folks are active in these circles.
I am a 68 year old retired teacher. My son is 25...doing well at work..has a nice girlfriend...and lives at home right now.
My husband retired also..is home ..but financially working.
We play golf..i have my cannasta group..
Even though we belong to a country club...so golf cards and dinners are a big part of our marriage.
However we yearn for REAL friends. We just dont have any...its all superficial.
Should we just be happy with that? Its really fun at times yet life seems to be more difficult...since most our friends are very involved with their families ...and everyone has seems satisfied. Why do i seek more.
Are we just too old to expect good friends that are like family?
It takes years to establish that and now life seems to have a ending time that looms larger every year.
Could it just be a desire to have good friends...that is really not realistic anymore?
Margaret , I really enjoy family history work I am LDS and I love to find out stories about my family here in the US I decided to join YMCA and they have swimming aerobics gentle yoga which I like I also go to the library and if I see Single Ladies or preferably single men I'll talk to them if it's the right time thank you for all that you do for us I really appreciate it
Suggesting 5th point! KEEP TRYING! I started conversations, two women, post office, beauty shop. South African forcefully said, "I am not speaking of politics with you," Owner said she was angry after I left." Second woman complained of her affluent, but changing L.A. neighborhood. I said "gentrification;" she said, "Don't use that word! It's too much like English landed gentry tricks." They a different racial group, but I was interested in new viewpoints, new friends. Offered biz card to 2nd woman. She said, "I know I won't be calling you." I just find people so angry these days, not open to kindness let alone friendship.
My husband and I moved to another state after retirement in our 60's. and my advice is to get involved. I immediately signed up for Contact Help Line, a civic club, joined our church, went to town meetings. I have to say I am not bashful. so it wasn't hard for me to join in the community. After meeting some new friends I liked, I had them over for dinner. I have done that often and now after a few years. I am so busy with a lot of friends. I am in a garden club, 2 card groups, travel club, on a board that is important to me and the community. It wasn't hard for me because I had made my mind up that I was going to be HAPPY!
❤❤❤
I understand that a man or a women who above fifty years old have enough knowledge I was socialist in young age but now I am only a democrat now I am seventy years old between young age and old age my ideas and views changed but now in my old age I understand that I have better than young age I want and write also for week and poor people I am sincere for my aim I like the thinker a writer great women
I thought I had a few friends n it turned out to be begging for money all the time for booze n cigs. N using me don't have a car to go places n meet nice people