420 Minutes of Weed Jokes
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 เม.ย. 2022
- Enjoy 420 minutes of weed jokes ... err, actually, we mean 11 minutes. These Mary Jane stories from Dave Chappelle, Tom Segura, Eric Andre, Bert Kreischer and Jack Whitehall will automatically give you a contact high.
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First time i got my mom high she just looked at me and said "is this how you feel all the time?!" And i just smiled and said "yes mom" and she said "no wonder your always so happy."
w
@Dakoda Fisher ill put it like this, in college my roommate left seeds in our trash can and when they were found they asked if it was mine and i got offended cause i dont smoke dirt weed. My shit NEVER has seeds.
If only that were true, and you could always feel the high that you got the first time. After the tolerance builds up, it gets less fun.
@@legoyoda9782 yeah thats why i take a break every so often so i can lose my tolerance.
@@legoyoda9782 if you smoke back to back with little breaks if you want a good reset for your tolerance. I would recommend a good 3 weeks with a little bit of exercise to burn the weed in your fat for good measures and flush out your system regularly.
Convinced my mom to smoke a year ago. We smoked and she was like “I don’t feel anything”. I go to the store and when I come back she is laughing hysterically and dancing in the kitchen. I go to my room for 10 minutes and then decide to look into her room and she is snoring on the bed with her hand in a bag of chips.
Classic
😂🤣😂
@BigBoy Baggins
That was the funniest 😂 😝 story ever
ahh, thats usually how it goes with newbies. i love how weed takes them on a rollercoaster. they hate it at first then end up growing thier own strains. its a love cycle.
They grow up so fast
My dad smoked for the first time when he was 60 all he did was sit in the corner for an hour saying this is all right man 😂 "edit" it's been 10 months I never thought I would still be getting comments and over 4k likes, not complaining but this shit surprised me 😂😂
I don’t know why but when i read that all i was imagining is your dad sounding like Tommy Chong.
i think that’s the best way to sum up getting high
I read this in Mathew McConaughey voice
I hate to break it to you, but that was not is first time😂
My father and I smoked for the first time together when he was fixing the lawnmower. Needless to say it was never fixed on that day.
Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in September. I have zero cravings. This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.
Please does anyone know where I can get them? I put so much on my plate and it really affects my stress and anxiety levels, I would love to try shrooms
@Micheal Harris Is he on instagram?
The Trips I've been having have really helped me a lot,I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well
@michealharris3221Can dr.sporess send to me in UK?
Shrooms was the best trip I had. It was an amazing experience.
My mom smoked pot for the first time on her 64th birthday. She didn't like it. Now she is 73 and eats weed cookies and uses the THC balm and everything. She's so innocent, she's even a group leader for Celebrate Recovery teens. She no longer sees it as a "bad drug".
❤️
My mom smoked for the first time at 70 with me and some of my friends at my wedding reception. She enjoyed herself but said not something she’s looking to do often lol
✌👉 The Connections (2021) [short documentary] 💖
How do u go from that to that from 64-73😂😂😂😂
I bet people are hapy for you. But I'm not.
My mom ate one of my homemade brownies on accident. She had damn near the entire thing gone before I could make it to the kitchen to stop her. 30 minutes in I could hear her upstairs laughing. I went up to check on her & her little eyes were so red they looked like they were bleeding. So I went out to the kitchen debating if I should stay home or get out of there. Suddenly I heard my dad ask her what the hell she was talking about and my mom laughing uncontrollably. That was my cue to leave. The next morning my mom woke me up asking WHAT THE HELL WAS IN THOSE BROWNIES I FELT REALLY DRUNK & EVERYTIME I CLOSED MY EYES I FLOATED TO THE CELLING. we have never spoke of it again
One of the best high stories I’ve ever heard lmao
Funniest shit
Oh, to get high for the first time again ): Nothing like your first…
Late to the party. I'm fuckin smoked out. Anyway, I got absolutely torched with my mother in October of 1997. Kind of a sad story. She was dying of cancer, and I was 13. We sat in her car, and she lit up a 4 gram blunt. One of my favorite moments.
rip
@@allanpena2204 Thank you. It's crazy how time gets away from us. Almost 25 years
@@ChunkyLeeChong aye the last time I saw my sis/cousin was Christmas all the older cousin went to smoke and one of our aunts went crazy I remember laughing all night with her that was Dec 24 2019 I wanna let you know your not alone rip mom and rip sis
@@ChunkyLeeChong she’s probably ripping a 4 gram cannon as we speak rip momma
@@allanpena2204 Fuck yeah she is. Thanks dude 💯
I haven't smoked any weed that had me so high I believe 420 minutes of anything fits into a video that's less than 12 minutes.
Isn't one of the effects "change perception of time"?
Shit it Don t?
@@WillieWeednah dude man shrooms & cid do that tho
😂😂😂
Trying to read this while high was crazy
I smoked with my mother once a few years back. I'm a long term toker, her not so much. She got a major attack of the giggles and it was so damn funny I couldn't help it I got them too. Good times lol.😂😂
Contact this legit plug with the name above ☝️ he got all kinds of psychedelic stuff he ship discreetly!
Great. Fill my basket
Ouw
THAT LAST ONE WAS UNBELIEVABLE DUDE WHAAAAAAT
Wtf ru doing here lmao
Yo lmao
Facts 😂😂😂
impeccable timing
Google like gotcha, now your fams back in UK can see watchu really been up to in Holland lmaooo
Man when i started smoking weed the scariest part was going to buy it lol.
Buy it from a friend?? I'd be scared too buying it from a shady dealer
@@alexromero6536 sometimes you have to be that friend
Or when you finally did get a steady dealer, they'd always leave you hanging for hours on end when they said a half hour
@@zacmonarch4845 I'm omw hahaha you said that a half hour ago
@@TheVibePandaOfficial he's saying it as the dealer..hahaha
If this video was 7 minutes long, it would be 420 seconds. Oh well, at least we get more weed jokes 😁
For those of us that noticed this; Methinks we skipped Wake and Bake along with 420 Smoke Session.
Also it would be 7 hrs if it was 420 minutes
@@stevengranados901 Must’ve been high doing the math. 🤷🏼♀️
@@saraspivey1129 I think u misspelled meth
@@christina4413 fr, let’s fix that
That last one was priceless!!! The guy and his wife were just like 😯😯 😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂fr
RIGHT ‼️😂😂
I swear me and my friend developed telepathy when we first smoke weed, it's a wild ride, we can understand each other without communicating.
Lmao my brother and I smoked with our mom for the first time and she wanted to cook us food, so she pulled out the hamburger meat (still frozen) right haha, she put the cast iron skillet on the stove (without being on) adds the hamburger meat and is standing at the stove now moving it back and forth assuming she’s “cooking” so roughly a half hour 45 mins goes by we kept smoking and we went inside to check on her of course right, we tell her, Hey mom, whatcha cooking. Oh, hey kids I’m cooking some hamburger meat to make y’all lunch, now at this point we’re so high we’re trying not laugh or burst out into laughter keep in mind the meat was still frozen and the stove was still off, so we tell her hey ma you know the stoves been off for the last 45 mins of you “cooking” right but you been standing her for 45 mins now lmfao
She started laughing so hard she couldn’t breath for anything 😂🤣
But me and brother ending up cooking lunch for ourselves she was so high lmao
What a beautiful story. Please share with us the final story about when y'all r sitting curbside on skidrow fighting over crack crumbs with one another lol. Cause we're all gonna be laughter (with you, not at you) at that story too ha ha ha
@@johnnybgood2887 Are you always this anger addicted?
@@johnnybgood2887 lmao this guy can't hang
@@johnnybgood2887 that was so far out of left field.
@@johnnybgood2887 why the negativity? Pod is pretty safe. Most people just have a laugh. Stop hating. start loving.
Happy 4/20 Eve everyone 😂🔥🌿
Happy 4:20 at 420!
CHEERS!
Same to you, happy smoking to ya!
Proverbs 4:20-21
New King James Version
20 My son, give attention to my words;
Incline your ear to my sayings.
21 Do not let them depart from your eyes;
Keep them in the midst of your heart;
Always bro
Honestly, I'm surprised this wasn't just an 11 minutes and 44 second compilation of Pete Davidson
That would be called "420 minutes of weed doing jokes"
Skete
You can probably get high from looking into his eyes
✌👉 The Connections (2021) [short documentary] 💖
Or ppl acting like weeds a hard drug or sum shit hate that
Bro the owl joke had me dying 😂🤣
Yea I can’t listen to the rest after that one lol
It was a hoot
I remember my dad caught me smoking and the next day we smoked a joint together. And it’s been like that ever since 😂
Jack just redefined caught in the act.
Is that real, btw? Were him and his lads on google maps? mean they showed a screenshot, but it could've been mocked up.
If it's for real, then 🤣
@@GorgeousRandyFlamethrower- No that doesnt look like Amsterdam at all, looks more like a British street
Pretty sure that’s just some place in the UK. Definitly not Museumplein. Still funny though.
Lol
Happy 420 to everyone out there! I got a goody bag from my bosses today with two joints and a gram of crumble, and some swag from our biggest customer. Such is life in a legal recreational town and the hippie capitol of the world. Merry Weedmas to all and to all a good high!
Proverbs 4:20-21
New King James Version
20 My son, give attention to my words;
Incline your ear to my sayings.
21 Do not let them depart from your eyes;
Keep them in the midst of your heart;
.....that's a good one😅
I love this comment. That’s my new greeting Happy Weedmas.
We are so behind in Australia. It's coming in by pain specialists because opiates screwed a lot of people. They're old and don't understand it. I had to chat to him only about sativa and Indica. So now he gives flower and oil. Before only oil. Wonderful stuff. This is us. Hope we will get to legal recreation soon. I think fewer problems with alcohol .
That is sick!
Back in the day i knew this guy who always had tons of pot. Me and my buddy took 400$ in paper food stamps(member those)from his mom and bought an ounce of pot with $200 in foodstamps,and used the rest to buy food. Great times.
lol the paper food stamp hahahaha
200$ (basically) for an once not bad not bad at all
You were born around 1975
1983
Wise
That owl story had me crashing 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Lmao
Wooooo!!!!
That was the quickest 420 minutes ever
🤣🤣
Thinking the same thing lol
am i high right now?
Video said jk it’s 11
Sometimes it doobie like that
"Like 3 crips letting everyone know there's cops in the neighborhood" 😂😭😭
My dad took edibles not long ago and we sat there and watched waterworld towards the end he asked me "how do you know when this is supposed to kick in" and at that point we had watched almost the entire movie while he ate basically an entire brick of cheese
Cool
This should be in the video man, that's gold.
Why would you have your dad watch one of the worst movies ever made during his first time getting high? I don't know you, or your old man, but him and I are both disappointed with you....
😂
Brick o' cheese, classic cinema, basic dad night, what's to question?
The Ric Flair joke just about killed me
I introduced my mom to weed, and now she is more of a pot head than I am.
Weed has brought our family together. My mom now has a munchie section in the pantry and we just talk about random deep stuff or dance.
I went to buy weed last week and the cashier is like “you just missed your mom”. It was the first time I had ever been in there, but clearly not hers😂
I hope everyone had a lit 420. Mine was wild af and so much chaos went down
McDonald's was popping for sure. I seen't it!
Everywhere was packed especially places to eat and the smoke shops too 😂 the day before was crazier lmao
@@stephenivavages4605 you get a mcchicken small fries and a drink for $4.20 where I'm from
I didn't have any weed
@@KRAWofficial awww man! that sounds terrible hope you made up for it lol
Wasn’t my mom but I got my grandma to smoke weed for her very first time at the age of 75. She’s now 86. Now every so often when I go visit her, if she happens to see me smoking it she will ask to hit it. But as for going out her way to ask if I have some she won’t just only if she sees me doing it. It’s hilarious cause my mom thinks it’s the most hilarious thing in the world to see her mom get high.
When I was a teen, my mama found my single gram of pot in an earring baggie and flushed it right in front of me. Today I’m like, “Mama, can I leave this preroll next to my tampons in here? It ain’t open.” It’s so crazy to me when I come in legally stoned and mama’s just like, yeah whatever about it. That never gets old for me.
I say to daddy, “Sorry, I’m high.” He says, “When I was ur age, we’d smoke a pound a weekend. It was only one joint.” I bout fell on the floor cause daddy’s the good one. I’d expect that from mama. She a bad mamma jamma, but daddy? That was wild
When I smoke with my dad, i always joke: "Remember when you grounded me for smoking this? lol. now we are smoking before every thanksgiving dinner" Time is weird.
did you type this high too b"
Ngl people who call their father daddy as an adult r weird
@@trexbait895it’s a cultural thing. I hear it all the time.
@@trexbait895 "She a bad mamma jamma, but daddy? That was wild" XD this is the funniest shit I've ever heard
Dave is so much better than everyone it’s insane.
He's relatable, he's real, and he puts you right there, looking through his eyes, in the least amount of words possible.
"You trying to get a sack" 🤣🤣🤣
I can't smoke, but hope everyone partaking has a fun and chill day. Go for a walk and enjoy life.
Get some of that good tincture, or edibles. The trend is away from smoking anymore; and you can tailor-make your experience with the help of a good shop-tender.
Me and my dad smoked together for the first time while we were on vacation for a car show. Best weekend ever
Cool
My dad started smoking pot in the 80s, never let on to us kids he smoked when we were growing up. He quit for an ex-wife around 2013. He was still smoking straight brown ass grass when he quit. Trust me, i took some and it was awful. He got back into it after several years and jumped straight to buying dispensary pot. For a couple years he was tapping out after just a couple hits. I was already an adult at this point but the wife was still insistent on him not smoking with his kids. Fast forward some more and she finally starts smoking. I move back home and she's cool about it now so I give my dad a tiny tiny piece of a 100mg chocolate bar. Like 1/4 of a single 1/20 piece of the bar. Couldnt have been more than 1-2mg of thc. The guy was fucking cooked. I've never ever seen anybody react to small amounts of pot like he does. He's got a girlfriend now that's built his tolerance though, he can actually share most of a joint now. I've given him small dabs a couple times, and a couple oopsie dabs where I just handed him my nectar collector and a gram of shatter. Spewed a cloud of smoke that made _me_ nervous. He seems to big a big fan of hash right now, just one or two puffs lmao
Is his girlfriend's name Maryjane? 🤭
the first time i got high was from my friends cart and it was a small hit but that hit like a truck man. 3 minutes into our walk i ask "are we floating"
For a couple of years…….tapping out. Cmon Breh talking out your ass
My parents were the 60s. They would literally hitchhike down to San Francisco and watch the dead and Santana give free shows Ashbury park. Needless to say.. weed was no big deal at our house. It was seen no different than having a glass of wine before dinner.
Oh how I wish my parents where like that
Cool
My mom had never gotten high ever. She ended up trying weed with my best friend and I was asleep upstairs and they decided after smoking to jump on the trampoline for like 30 minutes. My mom was in her late 50s this is iconic and I’m so sad I missed it.😂😂😂😂
"These two were like Rick Flair in a cave"
I think i swallowed my tongue on that one. OMG
When my cousin took our Grandma to the dispensary in Las Vegas, she yelled across the room, "GRANDMA, DO YOU WANT TO USE ALL YOUR POINTS?" and that's how we knew that grandma loved the edibles and knew more than she was letting on! She was in her late 80's when the legal stores opened. I remember her being very inquisitive about my own medical use the last time we visited (she was 91 when she died last year). Grandma was funny on gummies, I'm told! Wish it had been legal earlier.
Most people trying cannabis for the first time (or a new way, or first time in a long time) might want to consider cannabis guides, or cannabis coaches, or a circle of trusted friends, or we will keep hearing about calls to emergency dispatchers from people who are (er, who think they are) forgetting to to breathe.
Cool
Loving the last story 😂😂 now Ive gotta find his special lol
White dude with the Owl joke is funny as hell. Great joke bro😂!
Back in the day when the most dangerous part about was getting caught with it 😂
True 👍
Still is in my country
“Ohhh that’s where that poetry is coming from!!” Lol
Each day is a new beginning.
Ric Flair in a cave 😂😂 god bless you Bert Kreischer
Tom Seguras story is spot on, amazing journeys just to get a 8th of weed before legalization 😅
“U TRYNA GET A SACKKK” is hella fucken accurate
Happy Weeaster Y'all 🌿🔥👌
Just had my 420 booster hit
420 minutes of weed jokes would be the ultimate 4/20 live special
Lol
The last two jokes about The Owl and Taking a Suck.......PERFECT! 🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😙🤗
That last one took an unexpected turn
Weed makes me so relaxed and really helps with my degenerate spinal disease. I have had three operations on my back and I’m in so much pain, BUT the damned doctors in the hospital have made me out to be a drug addict and it’s all over in MYCHART even though it’s legal medically in my state. It’s bullshit they made me out to be a druggy and won’t even give me any medication for pain when my back completely goes out but just focus on my weed consumption.
Fuck them, get you some Kratom if you need some extra pain relief on top of the herb. Much safer than pharmaceutical opiates and it's a great pain reliever especially when mixed with weed.
I absolutely feel you. I have Metastatic Melanoma stage IV.
They make zero effort to get my pain under control because someone accused me of being too tolerant.
Not my fault, they just don't work.
They ruin your Quality of care and believe me, once you are labeled it is impossible to get it off your chart.
I am sorry you too are suffering 😔
Just keep staying away from the pills.
Everything is energy, try listening to frequencies on TH-cam. You are more than you think you are.
I smoked with my kids when they were teenagers. I knew I couldn't prevent them from smoking. So, I realized I could reap the benefits without buying the weed myself. (Sneaky on my part). They still haven't figured it out. And 2 out of 3 are pretty smart. The other one is well, what can I say. I blame him on my husband's genes.
My mom started smoking at 83 and died very happy. All true! 😶
W
I smoked with my mom when I was a teenager , we used to float around in the pool smoking and soaking lol 😆now I'm 32 and I still smoke with them on occasion
Terrible parenting
@@tec7648 W parenting + ratio
Great story, do you still smoke now?
I swear,420 comedians are the best creations on earth😂
Uploader was too high to notice this is only 11 minutes
i don't think this is 420 minutes. but I'm way too high to math right now. ✌️😎❤
@@borrago this is also wrong
@@borrago nannew nannew!
Hmm well there is only 60 minutes in 1 hour and the video isn't an hour long.
@@leandroagonzalez3 why’d you say “hmm well” like you were correcting somebody? Everyone knows there’s 60 minutes in an hour, and nobody disagreed with OP. Useless comment. Shouldn’t you be gardening or smuggling drugs with that username?
@@themostdiabolicalhater5986 lmao loser, you have attention now, you're welcome
Smoked wit my pops, he’s bed ridden, but we puffed and it’s easier to put a smile on his face as he’s a no nonsense character.
I smoked with my parents first time when i was about 16-17 and they where mid 40's. my dad is sadly no longer with us, but i often make tee from it to my mom so she can relax, still hits her hard tho where she is crying of laughter for nothing, it makes me so happy to see her smile and laugh even after all downfalls they had
happy 420 💚
4 20 is every day
@@warrendickerson4045 ye boyee
I didn’t think the last guy was that funny but he grew on me and that story was hilarious
The Ric Flair joke had me GIGGLING TOO HARD!!!!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I CRIED!!!
Lol
The compilation this world needed
If you play it on loop 36 times it equals 420 minutes (422 minutes and 24 seconds exactly)
Imagine if alcohol and big pharma meds were banned and everyone was taught early in school all the benefits of using cannabis...
That would be an awesome world to live. In 🥰
The country would be a lot better off. Alcohol has destroyed so may families......going back generations.
I pray that whatever is hurting you or whatever you are constantly stressing about gets better. May the dark thoughts, the overthinking, and the doubt exit your mind may clarity replace confusion. And may peace and calmness fill your life.
1:44 this is funny cuz I just starting writing poetry 🤣😭😭
Happy 420 all y'all have a good one keep burning
Eric Andre Killed it 😂
Seeing Dave smoke a vape like a Newport is the most awkward thing ever
That owl joke was probably the best one 😂😂😂😂
The first time I got my best friend to smoke with me, we hotboxed my grandparents camper and she had to use the little compact toilet that comes in a pop up and I just remember her squatted on this little thing cackling and asking me to “hand her a loaf” took me 20 min. Between giggles to figure out she meant the roll of toilet paper 😂😂😂
That last one is unreal 😄
Can we all appreciate the fact that this video is exactly 420 minutes long?
One time I had some fire weed that made you paranoid and me and my friends were smoking at the neighborhood park when one of our neighbors came over (he was a cool dad and acting all confident because we were in highschool) he walked up started talking to us, told us his wife was out of town for work, just hanging out with us, then goes- let me hit that, and he proceeds to aggressively hit the blunt and I was like oooh that’s not a smart idea, gotta slow smoke this 😂 anyways 10mins later he gets super high and goes, IS THAT MY WIFE? Then goes oh no she’s out of town, alright I gotta go home and just left. I assumed he went home, went into the bathroom and stared at himself for an hour 😂 the weed was good.
😂
Lmao
That Google Maps photo was funny af!!!
Nah that last one was gold😂😂
Bet Tom's gunna feel really cool being part of this compilation #cool guy guitar riff#
Tom absolutely loves 420
My parents decided to try weed about 25 yrs ago. They got really stoned, ate & when they went to bed my mom was laughing so hard and she crapped her pj's!!!! Thank God I wasn't there!!!!!
many weed jokes are cringe but so many are gold because it can be soooo relatable. God bless all the lovely stoners in the comments.
Happy 420 🔥🔥🔥🌲🌲🌲
Damn Netflix was so high when they posted this video they forgot the other 410+ mins of jokes.
Maybe it’s weed time.
6:29 yu gotta have confidence in yourself to stand infront of a couple hundred people with no shirt on
that's the dude's whole bit, every special he has his shirt off, it's fucking gr8
Especially with a body like that. I give him credit.
Tommy buns wouldn’t like being part of this compilation
These were pretty funny and there was Bert too
The last guy has the best build up storie to a photo in all human history
My uncle gave my father a joint. My father is a school teacher and one day before he taught a class, he decided to smoke that joint. He laughed uncontrollably while teaching that class. My uncle told me that he did not expect him to smoke that joint before teaching a class. lol 🤣
did bert kreisher really call 20mg “a lot of weed”? that’s dam near a microdose 😂
on me bro i was like thats it. but then again my friends be getting fucked up off 10 while I need at least 100 rip
20mg would FLOOR me
20mg of thc in edible form is plenty for a non-weed person.
sucks in cali you cant get anything over 100mg…
@@vintage_peace nah bro what you talking about, I’m born and raised in socal you can get 1000mg in a single gummy
Tom got it perfectly
"Owl-bert" 😭😭😭
Such a gem 🥹💖💖
“that’s where that poetry’s coming from” lmfao
I finally stopped denying to my mom about me smoking weed. Offered her a joint. She put it in her drawer. A ‘few’ weeks later I ran out of weed she hadn’t smoked it so I had to ask her to give it back. She did 😝
The last guy wasn’t good but the rest was hilarious 🤣 stay safe everyone Happy 4/20 🌱🌳🍃🌵🎄
Saved by Google maps
He was brilliant!!!!
Proverbs 4:20-21
20 My son, give attention to my words;
Incline your ear to my sayings.
21 Do not let them depart from your eyes;
Keep them in the midst of your heart;
I thought he was great
@@brekerickson9664 too each they own he just seemed like a bit of a posser weedy puff
Lol the stand alone trailer part, reminds me of the Homie Bean I used to pick up from. Literally had his trailer one time like in the industrial warehouses and you would round the corner and his trailer would just be there. Remember taking my friends there once and the dude started to freak out before I even got out the car to go get like I was sending him.
Buying weed back in the day was an adventure in itself.
damn Canadian bud.
Holy shit I was rolling at the owl skit
I work in the legal industry and many of the younger people i work with don't know what brick weed is. Good for them.
Man some of them were so compressed and hard we used a screwdriver and a hammer to break up a brick.
@@vinniez2188 bro literally, like trying to get two stuck Legos apart. You couldn't break that ish up with your hands if you tried lol.
The last 2 was so funny. Not sure who they are but they damn owl story had me for sure. Omg I was dying
I smoked weed with my mom for Christmas one year. She called Die Hard "not a Christmas movie" and feel asleep on the couch