By helping financially to pay for the caretaker she did more than I would have and I AGREE about the other relatives. They should have talked with him about how unfair it was to treat her that way and been sympathetic towards her when she was a child. They did not intervene AT ALL when they witnessed a form of child abuse. That makes them almost as responsible as the father then they have the audacity to brush it off and make the OP out to be the villain. What is more, the father had a kind of MENTAL ILLNESS to so irrationally blame the girl for a crime that she committed before her own birth (angry sarcasm) and they should have intervened on HIS behalf, tried to get him some mental health counseling maybe and then when he needed help later in life the OP was RIGHT about how they lived close by and were not themselves offering to help him. Another thing that they might have done IF THEY TRULY LOVED HIM.
Story 1: there is no excuse for what OP's father did, and the lack of action from her relatives. The aunt was trying to justify being a coward. The 'father' got what he had coming.
1st story, does OP have family on her Mother's side? She lost her Mom, Dad, and family the day she was born. So very very sad. Personally I wouldn't even have paid for a care giver.
I feel so bad for op in the first story. She deserves better. Also, she shouldn't pay for her dad's nurse. His stepdaughter his golden child should pay not the op.
Story 1: The daughter said pretty much the same thing in her own words but I still want to say it: HE NEVER LOVED HIS DECEASED WIFE. 1.Part of loving a person is HONORING THEM, HONORING THEIR WISHES which applies EVEN AFTER THEY HAVE DIED and the mother loved the OP and would have WANTED HIM TO TREAT HER WITH AS MUCH LOVE AS POSSIBLE, but he did NOT do this. 2. It is my belief that you cannot love a person AND abuse that person's child. This applies even AFTER the person you love has died.
@@robertx8020We'll never know, will we? But he is a fully grown adult, and if he felt he could not love his daughter and instead took glee in abusing her he should have put her up for adoption.
@@robertx8020she could have done all the things and still died. If he didn’t agree, he had options. He chose the worst option. Actions have consequences, something his former child knows well and now he does too.
@@spacecat1974 Not according to the dokters but what do they know, right /s She KNEW she would die if she HAD the child the rest is speculation!. And why does the 'actions have consequenses' not apply to her too? She could have know that her hsuband could blame the child! It's not like something like that has never happened before so I stick with the 'she was selfish'
Story 2 Nta When working adults stay up too late, they still have to go to work in the morning. It's a good way for young people to learn natural consequences of their actions and to understand that as an adult they will have to be accountable for their actions.
Story 1: your dad is abusive and what he did can never be undone. I bet your mom would be extremely proud of her the strong person you’ve become. Take care
FIL hijacking your honeymoon?!? Oh heck NO! Tell hubby that this is the line that will NOT BE CROSSED! Because if he does, he won't be married anymore! And tell FIL that the world does not revolve around him and to stop being a TYRANT!
A TYRANT that pay for you and your husband entire vacation to Hawaii? The only catch that the husband's family is also going on that trip? Where can I sign up to be related to that TYRANT? I understand the want for privacy and all, but come on! This story is such a first world/rich people problem, LOL! Many of us in the real world can't or barely able to take a proper vacation, many people can't even afford a honeymoon (right back to work after they got married, might b=not even get a proper wedding), and then there are people who complain about a free trip to Hawaii. For me I haven't been able to travel overseas for more than 10 years. So it's really hard to feel bad for OP in that story. LOL
Tell her I'm teaching my son to be responsible that you're going to have to get up and go do what you're supposed to do when you stay up all night or not. How do you expect him to keep his job if he thinks it's okay just to miss the next day cuz you didn't sleep.
What you do about your dad want you to come take care of them. Remind him he's an sperm donor not a father. Remind him every nasty thing he did to you and your life. Remind your grandparents of every nasty way he treated you growing up. Vanblarcum on all aspects of your life. God bless may you have a beautiful life you deserve. Know your mother is looking down on having from you and is so proud of you.
Honeymoon: wow, NTA, your father-in-law is very manipulative. I would be honest with him and tell him you’re really disappointed that he went out of his way to mess up your honeymoon. Making sure everyone in the family guilt trips you and your husband to go. And that he was fully aware of what he was doing, and that you fully intend to remember this action. Frankly, I’d tell your husband that you’re really disappointed in him for prioritizing a family trip over your honeymoon, seriously, what husband does that. The family didn’t need to go that year, especially when they knew you were planning your delayed honeymoon.
LOL, seriously? I understand the want for privacy and all, but come on! This story is such a first world/rich people problem, LOL! Many people around the world are struggled to feed their family, many can't or barely able to take a proper vacation, many people can't even afford a honeymoon (right back to work after they got married, might not even get a proper wedding), and then there are people who complain about a free trip to Hawaii (The only catch is that the husband's family is also going on that trip). For me I haven't been able to travel overseas for more than 10 years. So it's really hard to feel bad for OP in that story. LOL
go to hawaii but once there you and hubs go off and do your honeymoon. go to a different hotel if you need to for privacy and hook back up at the airport when it's time to go home! hawaiian honeymoon, yay!!
Exactly what I was going to post she desperately needs to get a good lawyer get the evidence on him so she doesn't get taken to the cleaners in the divorce
Everyone is an asshole but the girl the mom the most selfish person Really thought she doing a good deed. !?? “Hey here this kid u don’t want take care of it alone and figure it out” 🤨🤨🤨 But that girl owes him nothing
While her decision wasn't the best OP's father is by far thr biggest POS in this story. Blaming your kid for something they have nothing to do with will always make people like him the biggest AHs
Story one the money was all her dad wanted from her - plus doesn’t he have health insurance because of the injury most would provide home sides, rehabilitation at a facility etc
Why is OP 1 still taking calls from her monstrous “father”?!?! That alone makes me sick - more than I was sickened by the mistreatment of OP during her childhood. She loses all credibility and deserves little sympathy considering she continued to let the monsters in her life stay in her life and answered their calls. Poor thing is an idiot it seems.
Kindness is hard to get over yes ignoring is easier but facing her past is stronger. She did what we all wish call out his crap and how he treated her. Plus knowing the pain he put her though knowing he was going some from carma. Her life is better this way. Now the demons in her life are faced is it harder more painful yes but smarter in her long run
@@laquietagray9323 She was not a doormat, she gave all these awful people a piece of her mind and as soon as she ensured they would never bother her again she ghosted them ASAP.
The second op got a call from her evil dad, and the second she found out it was him, she should have been like sorry don't know anybody by that name. and then hung up instantly and then block him.
@@BraveryWing26 Sure she gave them " a piece of her mind" BUT then in the end she still pay for her father to get a caretaker. Not a total doormat, but still a minor doormat.
Anyone else think that OP mentioned sending money to daddy dearest when she talked to Lena. I'm guessing she showed back up to skim what she can off of that money on top of what she already took from him. Daddy got off way too light.
It sounds like hubby and his brother have no skills and see themselves as big deal managers. Meanwhile, they are paying good money to their employee, who does have skills.
12:24 as a boss I can say without a doubt OP is the kind of employee you know calls in sick Sunday night because of parties and drinking but they tell you they have a stomach bug
1. If was OP I would say since Lena and Maisie Abandoned him it is only fair that I abandon him too out of fairness. OP should have just changed her number instead of paying for a caretaker. Pretty sure he will leave Lena the house when he dies. OP will get nothing.
Story 1- what an awful family, aunt included, dump the lot of them. Glad she called him out but she is much nicer than I am lol- he didn't care for you so why should you pay for a caregiver for him??! And all extended family and flying monkeys can scew off- shame OP wasn't closer to the dead mom's family, they should have been there to help OP too
The FIL and the trip to Hawaii... Or you could go BUT plan out everything you & new hubby do in any place but where your in-laws are. If they are having lunch in restraunt A at 12 noon, you go to restraunt B at 1 pm. If they have an evening dinner cruise scheduled, you miss it for drinks & dancing. If they ask what you've got planned for tomorrow, tell them it's your honeymoon so you & hubby have a day of "bed sport" scheduled!
My moms form of punishment was hilarious for the simple fact of when she grounded us she only took electronics away she didn't take our books away as me and my brother were big time bookworms and spent more time reading then playing videogames XD
Story 1 op it sounds like ur daddy ain't no man he a coward, filling a void all because his wife died especially in that way? Pathetic, he should've prioritized u and only you but nope in my opinion u did a fantastic job going off on him and thay aunt
Story 3- I feel this so hard rn lol sigh, just came back from a holiday in Europe that was NOTHING like the European fantasies I'd had my entire life, it was me trailing behind my hubby's family, biting my tongue and feeling like an ungrateful bitch cos I couldn't complain, everyone was being so nice!! Sucking one up for the team suuuuucks but lol he's going to be paying me back for this for decades, I know its just first world spoiled housewife problems but damn man, what a waste of my only European vacation...but what can you do, sometimes marriage just suuuucks....and with this story- if all this had been happening on my honeymoon too- ohmygod I'd be so so SO unhappy, rising resentment, biting of tongues and seeing your man kowtow to other people instead of putting your needs first?? Yeah, NOT a good start to the marriage, this woman has a builtin excuse- she should definitely use it!!
I remember when my 12 year old desperately wanted to go to the midnight screening of one of the Twilight movies. I left the decision to her.....but warned her that she was going to be exhausted the next day. We went. She got up and went to school, came home. Her Friday night was spent in a near Zombie state as she pushed herself to stay awake until a reasonable (if a lot earlier) bedtime. She didn't say much. The next morning, I gave her a tab for her journal, it had "Twilight" on it. She laughed and added it to that page. When the next one came out, she wanted to go to the midnight screening.....but read that entry and decided that she would rather go on Friday night, have her favorite Chinese food for dinner, and be able to enjoy it without being exhausted. She made that decision on her own based on her understanding that unless she is SICK, she is expected to get up and go to school. I don't get to miss work for being tired, her father doesn't get to miss work when he's tired....so she doesn't either. I didn't remind her about that last movie, I didn't offer any input beyond telling her she was going to have to run into the dollar store and get me a Butterfinger....lol (Theater didn't have them.) The ONLY input I had in that entire process was to remind her, once, that she would be tired going to school the next day. It's rather impressive how well natural consequences work when allowed to work. That was, OBVIOUSLY, years ago. You know what was never an issue for her in university? Getting up to go to class. She had learned, early and with minimal consequences, that staying up late and being overly tired makes your responsibilities harder to tackle the next day. So she was great at managing her sleep and time schedules. I don't remember when we quit giving her a bedtime, as it were....but it was around 12/13. Being late/skipping school is a detention. Being late/skipping a university class can mean missing an exam that costs you a lot of money in having to repeat the course. Being late/skipping work can lead to being fired. It's better to let them learn it young when the consequences are cheaper and easier.
Story 1: NO OP didn’t do the right thing. The “right thing,” would have been to BLOCK all of their numbers and be done with them. Not give him money. That just pisses me off, because he wins in the end.
Actually as soon she can have a new number she should have changed then. but no matter how bad there is always a small hope that they would change and that is why she didn't and it took the last straw to brake to do it.
Story three Let me guess they want to come on your honeymoon this is not what you want i would point blank refuse he trying to push your boundaries,he turning it into a family trip if you are booking the next year don't tell your in laws Ask your father in law did he take his family on his honeymoon ask him over dinner did he bring his mother in law and family i think you need to start putting down boundaries wait till you have children and father in law gives you the name
St 2: both would have worked, however, bad behavior should not get you a “get out of school free” card. If that was the case, every kid in America would be sneaking a way to stay up late. She’s not wrong in her punishment, but that should have been in ADDITION to going to school.
2nd story. Dad your punishment was right on. Your wife is working on making a brat out of your 12 year old. Hopefully you woke him up after a short nap after school.
Go to Hawaii and make it about you two as another added honeymoon....put a do not disturb on the door and reserve time for you two AND be sure to thank father in law for the second honeymoon .
Nope, if I stayed up late my mom would have made me go to school as a punishment for staying up late. It sucks but that was the decision I made and learned from
In the 2nd story, dad was right to make him go to school. If he was foolish enough to stay up watching Netflix til all hours if the night, then ge has to deal with the circumstances. 😡😡😡
The wife’s reasoning is flawed. Letting him sleep in the DAY will mess up the sleep cycle. 🤦🏻♀️ FIL found a way to make THEIR honeymoon about HIM. Narcissistic tactic
Story 3: This will not be the last time FIL oversteps. Honestly, I would not attend and rethink my relationship...because why is my SO not putting our relationship first?
Honeymoon story: OP has missed the obvious best solution - take the Hawaii trip, but treat it like a honeymoon - do what you want to do, spend lots of couple time in your room, all the honeymoon stuff.
I’d tell hubby he can go with his family and I’d either stay home or take a short trip for yourself… my opinion is that your FIL did this on purpose to screw with your plans….. and it won’t end there and wait till you have kids he will try to control that so decide if this is what you want to go forward with stand your ground or it won’t end well
Don't go to HI. Tell hubby's family why. Hubby can go without you, but you have limited time off and you want a romantic trip with your hubby. Be candy sweet when you tell them, but don't change your mind
She shouldn't never have sent him anything !he always treated her like a dog , So let him go in the doghouse along with the girlfriend and her daughter and her aunt and the rest of her family!! And don't give father nothing and go no contact 😡😡😡😡😡
Lol, tell your husband that you won’t feel comfortable consummating the marriage with his whole family there. So it will have to be Avery family friendly vacation.
So the failure parent is butt hurt and the child he abused dont want anything to do with him? 😮 If i was OP, i would let him know that the Cancer unalived the wrong parent and pay for anythong. Let the flying monkeys cough up the money.
The so called "honeymoon" trip. I LOL'd when she said "if we go next year it's just a trip". Well dear, if you go this year it's still just a trip not a honeymoon. Honeymoons aren't taken 6-12 mos after the wedding. If you don't go when you get married, it's still just a trip.
I never understand mom sacrificed her life and left her daughter with a dad that didn't want her. Some would probably think she was a hero but I don't. She put her child in a position to be abused. Also where were her other family? If dad didn't want her he should have given her up to adoption.
Here's what you do you put your one salary in and then the rest you take and you set aside. You tell him this money is for household expenses only and I expect you to match it. Friend comes in he gets 50% instead of next witness freeways Summerhill to know. I think you need to do some serious investigation because this smells this year than hell.
It is best for you to stay away from such a toxic person as your dad. His heart has gone dark and it shows up in his bad actions. You are a reminder of his wife’s death, but he forgets HE got her pregnant at the same time cancer showed up. So chances are high he is blaming himself for it all and doesn’t want the reminder. He’s messed up. If he doesn’t want you around, he doesn’t GET you around. Tell the family members that you will be giving dad their phones numbers so he call them because they are so concerned for him. That’s should cause them to stop bothering you.
You don't owe your dad anything. If your aunt thinks he's so great, he should provide him with care. Change your phone number and refuse to have anything with him ir his family.
Story two He should go to school he took the IPad she not parenting him he missing classes is not right he will not be in a hurry to do it again,and it was not his device he took i think you did the correct thing
14:00 OP dealt with his son with a firm hand. Now he needs to teach his wife a lesson. Not to interfere in what IMHO was a very good punishment. Over the next 2 weeks, OP should object to whatever she says (about the kids), go contra to everything his wife wants the children to do and tell her HE IS ONLY DOING what she did. Interfered in his decision so he's interfering in hers. When they go low, I go low/er
Story 2… Dad was correct to make him go to school. Mom was wrong. Letting him stay home will just continue over and over. Stop all of that immediately.
Honeymoon- Op and husband should go with the family on the plane, but instead of checking in at the resort go to their own honeymoon getaway. If FIL tries to cancel their return ticket they should have enough money left over to buy one.
Story 1: Amazing level of BS and stupidity on the part of the sperm-donor and family. "Fair" doesn't mean what he pretends to think it means. Aunt isn't the sharpest tool in the shed either.
Tell them all you knew ,what he did to you and the abuse he commited. Oh you forgot he never help with your schooling . If they want you to do something call a nursing home for him. Tell him drop dead at least if mom lived. You would have her love and maybe he should kiss off Your paying no way . Her comes twenty five years of issues
What did the mother expect to happen to her child after she chose to have the child against her husbands wishes ? Did she think her child will be raised in home filled with love 🙄? .. however , although op childhood was horrible , it was 18 years and now she can spend her adulthood healing and live a happy good life cause her mom would want her to be the best she can be ..
1st story)
What your dad did IS abuse. BLOCK the whole lot of them. You do NOT need this kind of nonsense.
By helping financially to pay for the caretaker she did more than I would have and I AGREE about the other relatives. They should have talked with him about how unfair it was to treat her that way and been sympathetic towards her when she was a child. They did not intervene AT ALL when they witnessed a form of child abuse. That makes them almost as responsible as the father then they have the audacity to brush it off and make the OP out to be the villain. What is more, the father had a kind of MENTAL ILLNESS to so irrationally blame the girl for a crime that she committed before her own birth (angry sarcasm) and they should have intervened on HIS behalf, tried to get him some mental health counseling maybe and then when he needed help later in life the OP was RIGHT about how they lived close by and were not themselves offering to help him. Another thing that they might have done IF THEY TRULY LOVED HIM.
I think the op of the first story shouldn't have sent any money, skip that step to calling Lena, keep your money, change your number, and that's that.
Don't even change the number; record and collect all the messages, and use them to get a restraining order on the lot of them.
That's good
That's too much common sense. Alot of these Opies enjoy being a doormat. Then have the nerve to be mad they get treated so terribly.
Story 1: there is no excuse for what OP's father did, and the lack of action from her relatives. The aunt was trying to justify being a coward. The 'father' got what he had coming.
1st story, does OP have family on her Mother's side? She lost her Mom, Dad, and family the day she was born. So very very sad. Personally I wouldn't even have paid for a care giver.
I agree, don't give him anything; he will feel entitled to more in the future
I concur
I agree the OP should *NOT* have paid for her sperm donors home healthcare. The aunt(s), grandparents can pay for it.
"While I change my phone number and ghost all of them" AWESOME!!!
I would have done that when I moved out.
I love when neglected kids get called ungrateful. Like what should i be grateful for b not a damn thing
Where the hell was mom's side of the family!?
That dad should've been reported. That's abuse.
He was 1:23 apparently it had only short term effects
I would've sent him $1.50 and called it a day. Block them all.
First OPs story is so sad and heartbreaking.
Where was this family when her dad was treating her like crap
Where that so called family went when op was treated like a sh!t by her own father ?!!! 🤬
I feel so bad for op in the first story. She deserves better. Also, she shouldn't pay for her dad's nurse. His stepdaughter his golden child should pay not the op.
That father is a heartless monster! He deserves to be alone!
He is alone
Story 1: cut that garbage off....plain and simple....edit....why op paying for the care...op shouldn't spend one cent on that garbage....
Story 1: The daughter said pretty much the same thing in her own words but I still want to say it:
HE NEVER LOVED HIS DECEASED WIFE.
1.Part of loving a person is HONORING THEM, HONORING THEIR WISHES which applies EVEN AFTER THEY HAVE DIED and the mother loved the OP and would have WANTED HIM TO TREAT HER WITH AS MUCH LOVE AS POSSIBLE, but he did NOT do this.
2. It is my belief that you cannot love a person AND abuse that person's child. This applies even AFTER the person you love has died.
Did the mother honnor dad's wishes?
@@robertx8020 NO. But how the hell is that the child's fault? He is still SCUM and I hope he rots in Hell.
@@robertx8020We'll never know, will we? But he is a fully grown adult, and if he felt he could not love his daughter and instead took glee in abusing her he should have put her up for adoption.
@@robertx8020she could have done all the things and still died. If he didn’t agree, he had options. He chose the worst option. Actions have consequences, something his former child knows well and now he does too.
@@spacecat1974 Not according to the dokters but what do they know, right /s
She KNEW she would die if she HAD the child the rest is speculation!.
And why does the 'actions have consequenses' not apply to her too?
She could have know that her hsuband could blame the child! It's not like something like that has never happened before so I stick with the 'she was selfish'
Story 2
Nta
When working adults stay up too late, they still have to go to work in the morning.
It's a good way for young people to learn natural consequences of their actions and to understand that as an adult they will have to be accountable for their actions.
Actions; meet consequences.
Story 1: your dad is abusive and what he did can never be undone.
I bet your mom would be extremely proud of her the strong person you’ve become. Take care
Op: sending him money will make them stop calling me
...so will blocking them duh
The man is just a sperm donor not your dad. just as the saying you reap what you sow
FIL hijacking your honeymoon?!? Oh heck NO! Tell hubby that this is the line that will NOT BE CROSSED! Because if he does, he won't be married anymore! And tell FIL that the world does not revolve around him and to stop being a TYRANT!
A TYRANT that pay for you and your husband entire vacation to Hawaii? The only catch that the husband's family is also going on that trip?
Where can I sign up to be related to that TYRANT?
I understand the want for privacy and all, but come on! This story is such a first world/rich people problem, LOL!
Many of us in the real world can't or barely able to take a proper vacation, many people can't even afford a honeymoon (right back to work after they got married, might b=not even get a proper wedding), and then there are people who complain about a free trip to Hawaii.
For me I haven't been able to travel overseas for more than 10 years. So it's really hard to feel bad for OP in that story. LOL
Can OP talk to her employer about unpaid time off?
S1 - She could have skipped all the crap and changed her number. Still a glutton for punishment. Next update she'll have moved back in.
Tell her I'm teaching my son to be responsible that you're going to have to get up and go do what you're supposed to do when you stay up all night or not. How do you expect him to keep his job if he thinks it's okay just to miss the next day cuz you didn't sleep.
What you do about your dad want you to come take care of them. Remind him he's an sperm donor not a father. Remind him every nasty thing he did to you and your life. Remind your grandparents of every nasty way he treated you growing up. Vanblarcum on all aspects of your life. God bless may you have a beautiful life you deserve. Know your mother is looking down on having from you and is so proud of you.
Honeymoon: wow, NTA, your father-in-law is very manipulative. I would be honest with him and tell him you’re really disappointed that he went out of his way to mess up your honeymoon. Making sure everyone in the family guilt trips you and your husband to go. And that he was fully aware of what he was doing, and that you fully intend to remember this action. Frankly, I’d tell your husband that you’re really disappointed in him for prioritizing a family trip over your honeymoon, seriously, what husband does that. The family didn’t need to go that year, especially when they knew you were planning your delayed honeymoon.
LOL, seriously?
I understand the want for privacy and all, but come on! This story is such a first world/rich people problem, LOL!
Many people around the world are struggled to feed their family, many can't or barely able to take a proper vacation, many people can't even afford a honeymoon (right back to work after they got married, might not even get a proper wedding), and then there are people who complain about a free trip to Hawaii (The only catch is that the husband's family is also going on that trip).
For me I haven't been able to travel overseas for more than 10 years. So it's really hard to feel bad for OP in that story. LOL
Last story contribute the exact amounts he does Get another account at another bank making it a LLC. the LLC PAYS YOURSELF THE MONEY HE CONTRIBUTED
go to hawaii but once there you and hubs go off and do your honeymoon. go to a different hotel if you need to for privacy and hook back up at the airport when it's time to go home! hawaiian honeymoon, yay!!
And suptly hint that FIL should get evaluated for early on dimentia, because of his faulty memory.....
Last story...he's either gambling , got a mistress or he's a druggy. Guard your money and run , fast.
Exactly what I was going to post she desperately needs to get a good lawyer get the evidence on him so she doesn't get taken to the cleaners in the divorce
Everyone is an asshole but the girl the mom the most selfish person
Really thought she doing a good deed. !??
“Hey here this kid u don’t want take care of it alone and figure it out” 🤨🤨🤨
But that girl owes him nothing
I have to agree with you
While her decision wasn't the best OP's father is by far thr biggest POS in this story. Blaming your kid for something they have nothing to do with will always make people like him the biggest AHs
Story one the money was all her dad wanted from her - plus doesn’t he have health insurance because of the injury most would provide home sides, rehabilitation at a facility etc
Why the hell is she sending him money?
Story 1: i hope stepmom and daughter receive Karma. The Aunt too.
"She dropped out, wasting my dad's money"
S2, I do the thing. My 10yo try's to do the same thing. NTA.
Story 1 : dump your dad. Don't ever look back. Tough luck he broke his hip. Make Lena take care of him. Family is just as bad as Dad.
Why is OP 1 still taking calls from her monstrous “father”?!?!
That alone makes me sick - more than I was sickened by the mistreatment of OP during her childhood.
She loses all credibility and deserves little sympathy considering she continued to let the monsters in her life stay in her life and answered their calls.
Poor thing is an idiot it seems.
Kindness is hard to get over yes ignoring is easier but facing her past is stronger. She did what we all wish call out his crap and how he treated her. Plus knowing the pain he put her though knowing he was going some from carma. Her life is better this way. Now the demons in her life are faced is it harder more painful yes but smarter in her long run
Op is like most people in these Reddit stories doormat central.
@@laquietagray9323 She was not a doormat, she gave all these awful people a piece of her mind and as soon as she ensured they would never bother her again she ghosted them ASAP.
The second op got a call from her evil dad, and the second she found out it was him, she should have been like sorry don't know anybody by that name. and then hung up instantly and then block him.
@@BraveryWing26 Sure she gave them " a piece of her mind" BUT then in the end she still pay for her father to get a caretaker. Not a total doormat, but still a minor doormat.
Anyone else think that OP mentioned sending money to daddy dearest when she talked to Lena. I'm guessing she showed back up to skim what she can off of that money on top of what she already took from him. Daddy got off way too light.
S1 - I would have given him contact info for government agencies to call for help. That is all I would do.
It sounds like hubby and his brother have no skills and see themselves as big deal managers. Meanwhile, they are paying good money to their employee, who does have skills.
Stay no contact with him, permanently. Stop sending him money. He can go to a nursing home.
12:24 as a boss I can say without a doubt OP is the kind of employee you know calls in sick Sunday night because of parties and drinking but they tell you they have a stomach bug
S1: How do none of these stories end with - "And when they were all asleep, I jammed all the doors before knocking the candle over.
NTA I’d go but I’d stay in the hotel room the whole trip
why doesn't the aunt take care of him?
Tell dad he has always showed you do not like or help me in any way. Why should I care about your feelings and why should I help you.
1. If was OP I would say since Lena and Maisie Abandoned him it is only fair that I abandon him too out of fairness. OP should have just changed her number instead of paying for a caretaker. Pretty sure he will leave Lena the house when he dies. OP will get nothing.
1st why pay for his treatment when he left u all by yourself
Story 1- what an awful family, aunt included, dump the lot of them. Glad she called him out but she is much nicer than I am lol- he didn't care for you so why should you pay for a caregiver for him??! And all extended family and flying monkeys can scew off- shame OP wasn't closer to the dead mom's family, they should have been there to help OP too
Story 2 Good cop Bad cop
Story 1 TOTALLY MC
The FIL and the trip to Hawaii... Or you could go BUT plan out everything you & new hubby do in any place but where your in-laws are. If they are having lunch in restraunt A at 12 noon, you go to restraunt B at 1 pm.
If they have an evening dinner cruise scheduled, you miss it for drinks & dancing. If they ask what you've got planned for tomorrow, tell them it's your honeymoon so you & hubby have a day of "bed sport" scheduled!
More please ❤
My moms form of punishment was hilarious for the simple fact of when she grounded us she only took electronics away she didn't take our books away as me and my brother were big time bookworms and spent more time reading then playing videogames XD
Why does she still answer the phone? lol
Story 1 op it sounds like ur daddy ain't no man he a coward, filling a void all because his wife died especially in that way? Pathetic, he should've prioritized u and only you but nope in my opinion u did a fantastic job going off on him and thay aunt
Story 1: i hope stepmom and daughter receive Karma
Story 3- I feel this so hard rn lol sigh, just came back from a holiday in Europe that was NOTHING like the European fantasies I'd had my entire life, it was me trailing behind my hubby's family, biting my tongue and feeling like an ungrateful bitch cos I couldn't complain, everyone was being so nice!! Sucking one up for the team suuuuucks but lol he's going to be paying me back for this for decades, I know its just first world spoiled housewife problems but damn man, what a waste of my only European vacation...but what can you do, sometimes marriage just suuuucks....and with this story- if all this had been happening on my honeymoon too- ohmygod I'd be so so SO unhappy, rising resentment, biting of tongues and seeing your man kowtow to other people instead of putting your needs first?? Yeah, NOT a good start to the marriage, this woman has a builtin excuse- she should definitely use it!!
I remember when my 12 year old desperately wanted to go to the midnight screening of one of the Twilight movies. I left the decision to her.....but warned her that she was going to be exhausted the next day. We went. She got up and went to school, came home. Her Friday night was spent in a near Zombie state as she pushed herself to stay awake until a reasonable (if a lot earlier) bedtime. She didn't say much. The next morning, I gave her a tab for her journal, it had "Twilight" on it. She laughed and added it to that page.
When the next one came out, she wanted to go to the midnight screening.....but read that entry and decided that she would rather go on Friday night, have her favorite Chinese food for dinner, and be able to enjoy it without being exhausted. She made that decision on her own based on her understanding that unless she is SICK, she is expected to get up and go to school. I don't get to miss work for being tired, her father doesn't get to miss work when he's tired....so she doesn't either. I didn't remind her about that last movie, I didn't offer any input beyond telling her she was going to have to run into the dollar store and get me a Butterfinger....lol (Theater didn't have them.)
The ONLY input I had in that entire process was to remind her, once, that she would be tired going to school the next day. It's rather impressive how well natural consequences work when allowed to work.
That was, OBVIOUSLY, years ago. You know what was never an issue for her in university? Getting up to go to class. She had learned, early and with minimal consequences, that staying up late and being overly tired makes your responsibilities harder to tackle the next day. So she was great at managing her sleep and time schedules. I don't remember when we quit giving her a bedtime, as it were....but it was around 12/13. Being late/skipping school is a detention. Being late/skipping a university class can mean missing an exam that costs you a lot of money in having to repeat the course. Being late/skipping work can lead to being fired. It's better to let them learn it young when the consequences are cheaper and easier.
Story 1:
NO OP didn’t do the right thing. The “right thing,” would have been to BLOCK all of their numbers and be done with them. Not give him money. That just pisses me off, because he wins in the end.
Actually as soon she can have a new number she should have changed then. but no matter how bad there is always a small hope that they would change and that is why she didn't and it took the last straw to brake to do it.
Story 1. I wanted OP to get her antique desk
Story three
Let me guess they want to come on your honeymoon this is not what you want i would point blank refuse he trying to push your boundaries,he turning it into a family trip if you are booking the next year don't tell your in laws
Ask your father in law did he take his family on his honeymoon ask him over dinner did he bring his mother in law and family i think you need to start putting down boundaries wait till you have children and father in law gives you the name
Story 2: They would just have to call me the AH.
OP should have moved in with Dad to torture, torment and bankrupt him and abandon him to the worst nursing home available.
St 2: both would have worked, however, bad behavior should not get you a “get out of school free” card. If that was the case, every kid in America would be sneaking a way to stay up late. She’s not wrong in her punishment, but that should have been in ADDITION to going to school.
2nd story: ummm, going to school tired IS a natural consequence of staying up late to watch Netflix.
Wife is the AH. If baby boy wants to stay up all night like a grown up. He can get up in the morning like a grown up
2nd story. Dad your punishment was right on. Your wife is working on making a brat out of your 12 year old. Hopefully you woke him up after a short nap after school.
So, don't call it your honeymoon. Take it later.
Go to Hawaii and make it about you two as another added honeymoon....put a do not disturb on the door and reserve time for you two AND be sure to thank father in law for the second honeymoon .
Nope, if I stayed up late my mom would have made me go to school as a punishment for staying up late. It sucks but that was the decision I made and learned from
In the 2nd story, dad was right to make him go to school. If he was foolish enough to stay up watching Netflix til all hours if the night, then ge has to deal with the circumstances. 😡😡😡
Op dad is doing a great job of driving his daughter away and when he realizes he need op it will be too late
What a terrible father!
The wife’s reasoning is flawed. Letting him sleep in the DAY will mess up the sleep cycle. 🤦🏻♀️
FIL found a way to make THEIR honeymoon about HIM. Narcissistic tactic
Story 3: This will not be the last time FIL oversteps. Honestly, I would not attend and rethink my relationship...because why is my SO not putting our relationship first?
Story one: he’s old and senile? If I’m doing the math right her dad is barely 50!
Honeymoon story: OP has missed the obvious best solution - take the Hawaii trip, but treat it like a honeymoon - do what you want to do, spend lots of couple time in your room, all the honeymoon stuff.
I’d tell hubby he can go with his family and I’d either stay home or take a short trip for yourself… my opinion is that your FIL did this on purpose to screw with your plans….. and it won’t end there and wait till you have kids he will try to control that so decide if this is what you want to go forward with stand your ground or it won’t end well
Don't go to HI. Tell hubby's family why. Hubby can go without you, but you have limited time off and you want a romantic trip with your hubby. Be candy sweet when you tell them, but don't change your mind
Your not the one that let him have the iPad to watch all night. That was his own choice and he reaped what he sowed
She shouldn't never have sent him anything !he always treated her like a dog , So let him go in the doghouse along with the girlfriend and her daughter and her aunt and the rest of her family!! And don't give father nothing and go no contact 😡😡😡😡😡
Lol, tell your husband that you won’t feel comfortable consummating the marriage with his whole family there.
So it will have to be Avery family friendly vacation.
So the failure parent is butt hurt and the child he abused dont want anything to do with him? 😮
If i was OP, i would let him know that the Cancer unalived the wrong parent and pay for anythong. Let the flying monkeys cough up the money.
OP should have taken up Arson as a hobby. Make Dad and his Ho Bag pay for everything they had done.
OP’s dad dumped on OP. OP’s family didn’t stick up for OP. Your aunt can take care of OP’s dad NTA. Lena was dad’s only daughter
The so called "honeymoon" trip. I LOL'd when she said "if we go next year it's just a trip". Well dear, if you go this year it's still just a trip not a honeymoon. Honeymoons aren't taken 6-12 mos after the wedding. If you don't go when you get married, it's still just a trip.
I never understand mom sacrificed her life and left her daughter with a dad that didn't want her. Some would probably think she was a hero but I don't. She put her child in a position to be abused. Also where were her other family? If dad didn't want her he should have given her up to adoption.
Here's what you do you put your one salary in and then the rest you take and you set aside. You tell him this money is for household expenses only and I expect you to match it. Friend comes in he gets 50% instead of next witness freeways Summerhill to know. I think you need to do some serious investigation because this smells this year than hell.
It is best for you to stay away from such a toxic person as your dad.
His heart has gone dark and it shows up in his bad actions.
You are a reminder of his wife’s death, but he forgets HE got her pregnant at the same time cancer showed up.
So chances are high he is blaming himself for it all and doesn’t want the reminder.
He’s messed up.
If he doesn’t want you around, he doesn’t GET you around.
Tell the family members that you will be giving dad their phones numbers so he call them because they are so concerned for him. That’s should cause them to stop bothering you.
First world problems: My FIL paid for an all inclusive trip to Hawaii 😡 Gurl let me go then wtf 😂
You don't owe your dad anything. If your aunt thinks he's so great, he should provide him with care. Change your phone number and refuse to have anything with him ir his family.
Story two
He should go to school he took the IPad she not parenting him he missing classes is not right he will not be in a hurry to do it again,and it was not his device he took i think you did the correct thing
I would’ve gotten divorced, the time that he took out money for a business that you didn’t agree upon!
14:00 OP dealt with his son with a firm hand. Now he needs to teach his wife a lesson. Not to interfere in what IMHO was a very good punishment. Over the next 2 weeks, OP should object to whatever she says (about the kids), go contra to everything his wife wants the children to do and tell her HE IS ONLY DOING what she did. Interfered in his decision so he's interfering in hers.
When they go low, I go low/er
Story 2… Dad was correct to make him go to school.
Mom was wrong.
Letting him stay home will just continue over and over.
Stop all of that immediately.
Honeymoon- Op and husband should go with the family on the plane, but instead of checking in at the resort go to their own honeymoon getaway. If FIL tries to cancel their return ticket they should have enough money left over to buy one.
Wish you hadn't married into this AH family
Story 1: Amazing level of BS and stupidity on the part of the sperm-donor and family. "Fair" doesn't mean what he pretends to think it means. Aunt isn't the sharpest tool in the shed either.
Tell them all you knew ,what he did to you and the abuse he commited.
Oh you forgot he never help with your schooling .
If they want you to do something call a nursing home for him.
Tell him drop dead at least if mom lived.
You would have her love and maybe he should kiss off
Your paying no way .
Her comes twenty five years of issues
Story 1: What father? Op does not have a father.
What did the mother expect to happen to her child after she chose to have the child against her husbands wishes ? Did she think her child will be raised in home filled with love 🙄? .. however , although op childhood was horrible , it was 18 years and now she can spend her adulthood healing and live a happy good life cause her mom would want her to be the best she can be ..