While women have long ago realized the importance of vetting men, most men do not intentionally screen women before entering into sexual relationships with them. This is largely due to poor optionality, which is just happy to be given an opportunity at all. Unfortunately, this significantly increases the likelihood that men will become involved with difficult, damaged, or dangerous women over a long enough timeline. In this episode, I discuss the importance of screening women and provide one concrete way to do this. Don't be afraid to test her. Join my community: the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: th-cam.com/video/WrXBzQ2HDEQ/w-d-xo.html Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: th-cam.com/channels/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw.htmljoin Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #women
@@zergslayer69maybe if men didn’t tear each other down to try to attract women out of it, they would have more success. Did you ever consider that you’re the problem?
Another indispensable test is to say no to a request, with little or no justification, excuses or explaining. Healthy people respect people who have boundaries and respect their boundaries too. If she accepts "no" without drama, she passes. Bonus points If she expresses disappointment and accepts it too. If you get back anything like: - Demands for explanation - Subtle threats that hint you're gonna regret it. - Invitations for you to feel guilty - Passive aggressive behavior like silent treatment, suddenly becoming uncooperative unavailable - Comparisons to what most men do or "should" do - etc... She's letting you know that she expects you to prioritize her needs over yours, and if she doesn't get her way, there will be hell to pay. Unless that's the kind of relationship you're looking for, say "thank you" and move on.
All straight facts and very well formulated! I have some horrible news though. The woman who is looking for you to "prioritize her needs over yours" is 90% + of the female population. I would say it's anywhere between 90% and 98% in fact. So while the methodology is sound, the odds are abysmal.
Imagine having to deal with that kind of drama from your spouse every day for the rest of your life. And if that's how a woman acts during dating, when she is incentivized to present the best version of herself, just imagine how bad it could get once you're married to her and the true person comes out.
I test women like this all the time and it always works, the ones who are really attracted to you will find a way to show it.. fellas never waste your time and effort on a woman who isn’t interested in you, she will make you regret it
Don't listen to this fork tongue joo normalizing degeneracy. Often times compliant women are compliant to everyone (aka sluts) and good women will refuse because she actually has values and principles. Fork tongue snake Orion doing his bit to destroy proper civilization
Anyone can fake good behavior but it is difficult to fake bad behavior so mostly good behavior is faked and bad behavior is real. If you can observe; then it would be easier for you to find a right person.
This is gospel. It's why I say you never know a person until you've seen them: - extremely sick (it's when there is no filter. Will they nicely ask for water or demand you get some?) - extremely angry (this is when the devil inside comes out. Do they talk or do they get violent?) - extremely inebriated (this is when the quiet truth gets loud. What do they think and hold back?) - extremely disappointed (do they become the petulant child? Or do they decide to learn a lesson and progress?) Until these moments I can be close to a person but I don't think I know them.
The sad truth is that most men, the majority, have never been with a woman who truly desired them. Most men got into relationships based on pedestaling their woman. That is never the winning strategy.
It's optionality though...well, lack thereof. Most adult men would prefer regular sex but that is genuinely hard to pull off if you're not in the absolute upper tier of attractiveness. Thus they put up with all kinds of bullshit and let themselves get corralled into bs relationships
Dr. Taraban, I noticed that, leveraging your acting skills, you have been ramping up the entertaining element of your content. Let me tell you, that it works! It has never been so entertaining to learn the cold hard truths of dating and the necessary skills. You are doing great, keep it up!
Real world example: asked woman from dating app to sunday brunch. woman tells me her sleep has been "twisted lately", asked if i would go with the flow on scheduling which i agreed to. She texts me on sunday at 1030am, but I was in the middle of preparing for my work week and I don't know this woman from a can of paint. I suggested 3pm at a nearby brunch place, and offered a more expensive place as an alternative. She said "let's do dinner (at the more expensive place) because 'she was hungry now'. I told her (the test) I would like to take her to that place for dinner later that week to get to know her, but Sunday dinner was too last minute and messed up my routine in preparing for the week. Never heard from her again. If she was really wanting to build a connection or get to know me, she would have agreed to me taking (and paying for both of ours) dinner later in the week, but this was clearly "a bomb" that keeps a stack of men with low boundaries to take her out for meals whenever shes in the mood. No judgement on my part, but not a woman i would disturb my peace and routine for.
I don't agree with your conclusion. She probably just felt played like you moved her through your week like a domino on a mat. As if it was not important for you to see her.
I would say the fact she wasn't willing to commit to an exact time wasn't a good sign. Also, being on a dating app puts you at a disadvantage as well. Granted, I know how it can be challenging to meet women these days.
@@YS-pt5qr we both subconsciously know i'm paying for the date, and she wanted me to be flexible on time since her sleep schedule was "twisted lately". I happen to run several projects/businesses, it just so happened when she reached out to me i was scheuduling emails/projects for the week. she couldn't be bothered to go to the expensive restaurant in a time i was free "because she was hungry now". We all know and expect the man to pay for the date, I'm supposed to drop all of my responsibilities to "feed" this stranger i don't know? it wasn't me manipulating, it was a genuine test of her interest and she failed. if you can't see that, i'm afraid you may be perceiving life through a level of delusion.
@@Marking_The_Way I don't disagree with you, but I already dedicated the summer (June - August roughly) entertaining women I met in real life at nice restaurants and lounges, as well as dating apps. I agree that her not being able to commit to an exact time was already an "orange flag" but i like to give humans the benefit of the doubt. When she couldn't accept what was essentially a free dinner and drinks because it wasn't exactly when she wanted it... that* was my confirmation of what she was really about. Dating apps aren't all bad, I went out with a woman this past week who was able to agree on a hard time and we had a great dinner and drinks together. We're still talking now, but again, i'm never going to allow someone's opinions or flippant nature to alter my responsibilities and goals. cheers.
@@DigitalHierophant Nice dude! I'm rooting for you to do well out there 😀🙌 I personally don't do well on dating apps, but I found the dance scene (partner dancing) to be the best solution. (So many reasons why, I even made a video about it 😆)
@@theguy57546 I would too, because I don’t think it would go that well. I think he thinks too much of himself, which would be ok if his substance wasn’t just pandering to desperate men
This was eye opening. You can tell a lot about how someone feels about the job and position when they are in an interview. That is what women do to us, but somehow, we never take time to set up our own criteria and standards. Best episode from my perspective. Thank you Dr. Orion!
Deeppp! Right, we're trying to show all of our strengths and what we have to offer. How often do we make sure SHE is qualified and a good fit? Something to think about 🤔
Well, not with me, they wish they never hired me,but they cant find a valid reason to getbrid of me,plus I do specialty work that they need. They dislike my character, I rarely speak and uae earlhones because its noisy all day. Anyway, I keep them puzzled with my nonchalant lifestyle.
I recently had an experience with a bomb. She was a rebound after my last relationship, and we started seeing each other a couple times per week. I got a vibe that she was a little nuts, but she was really attractive and I enjoyed seeing her so I stayed around. One day, I was busy and didn’t text her for a couple hours. She blew up on me and sent me 3 paragraphs about not texting her enough, and compared me to her ‘toxic’ ex boyfriend. I knew then and there there was no potential for a long term relationship.
Don't listen to this fork tongue joo normalizing degeneracy. Often times compliant women are compliant to everyone (aka sluts) and good women will refuse because she actually has values and principles. Fork tongue snake Orion doing his bit to destroy proper civilization
So good. It is so entertaining how much You understand the psyche of women. Even as a woman watching your videos, it is very helpful. I inherently know some of these things already, but to hear it from you, explaining it to men for the purpose of helping them navigate through dating, it shows me a different perspective, the man’s perspective. If women care at all about finding a good man and keeping him, they should watch your videos. Unfortunately, a lot of them would probably take offense to what you say 😅 which is why this particular video is important for men to watch. I think another thing to be aware of is how a woman communicates after she blows up. It is possible she is actively working on herself and is motivated to learning and evolving. If she is not even willing to be accountable then move on, fast. But if she is, then maybe it is worth giving it time, if everything else about her is worth it.
Unfortunately, most people don't change they mask. If a person is selfish. They will remain. You might be able to massage some out, but it's just about self. Mr. Dr. Prof. Orion stated it perfectly pick a couple key things that you "need" and accept the rest, good and bad. I'll try and find a link
Out of respect and courtesy I told a woman ahead of our first date that we are going to a nice restaurant so she may want to dress up a little (I also knew she was coming out of tough class shortly before so I wanted her to have a heads up). She returned with a “I don’t appreciate being told what to wear.” Should have known that relationship was going to be a shit show
@@qc7767 Telling her she is being taken to an especially nice restaurant should have been all she needed to hear. Telling her that means she should dress a certain way was an insult to her intelligence. Seeing how she chooses to dress when she knows it’s a special place could have been a test of her taste and manners. I could have seen your suggestion as helpful if it was said in the right way, but I could also think you don’t trust my judgement and assume you are the kind of guy who can make me feel belittled by advising me all the time about decisions that are my own to make.
I asked my wife (before, when we were only talking) for photos and she didn't blow up at me. She also didn't initially send me photos, but she did keep talking to me and eventually she sent some photos that could be shared on Facebook, never nudes, and we are still happily married 16 years later. In all those years, we have had only 2 or 3 arguments and none of them were high intensity.
Another delusional man oi news flash you’re the wife and she’s your husband, I bet she wasn’t a virgin when you met her and you weren’t her first choice, she doesn’t find you attractive either and I think you already knew this but you keep lying to yourself that’s why you had to write this comment looking for men who are just as stupid as you to confront you.
agree this pics issue for me is a big deal most men in my experience want explicit photos thats not something I do ever. I would think they would have a clear idea from the onset from my general behaviour of the answer but maybe my fault not spelling it out from the onset. To me its a private thing shared between two people not to be used/shared (potentially) outside of a committed relationship so I would answer no and move on. I would personally feel disrespected if asked for that type of photo from a man I thought was honourable. i find it disappointing but thats just me what do men think?
@@julie-anntownley-rivett5173 although it is nice to receive a nude from a girl I’m dating, I don’t view anyone who DOESN’T send nudes as less than. Getting nudes is like a bonus prize. If anything, I view the woman as more respectable when they refuse to send nudes.
I saw the throwing things, temper tantrums and the threats. Here's another one: if she has kids from another relationship that don't want anything to do with her, run. Believe me, i found out the hard way.
@@johnbetancourt8691 I kinda think that this advice is for younger folks too. The way older, 45+ date is a little different than under 40. Young folk love taking selfies. Older people are too busy working or doing stuff to be taking pics all the time. And older people don't have time to mess around and play games. It's either you're interested or not.
Yeah, I agree! It’s a request that can be misinterpreted. No man has ever asked me for photos and I confess that I would find it a little strange if that happened. I agree that both men and women should test the target of interest before finding themselves trapped, but I imagine that perhaps there are other ways to do this.
@ Well, I don't live in the USA and here in my country we have many types of online scams. Most of us prefer to have private social media and I only accept access from those I know. I wouldn't exchange photos with someone I barely know. Furthermore, I don't particularly have the habit of taking selfies and photos all the time. This is my opinion considering the reality in which I live. But if this is something important to you, I have nothing against it. Only you know what is best for you. It's a personal matter.
I love how he never forgets to add humor to his videos. There are some cold hard truths he tells us and tries to make it sound less discouraging by adding humor, a way to make us know not to get hung up on one particular 'employee'. Thank you Dr. Orion.
The book exceeded my expectations too. By far. It irreversibly changed my perspective on mating and dating, and I only wish I could've been exposed to Orion's work a decade ago.
Another test is to make a date location closer to you vs her. See if she says she’s inconvenienced. Or even see how she handles you saying no to her on something she wants. I used to not do these things and now they help quite a bit
I always do this. Recently had a girl ask to change to a different bar, one known for cocktails, 2 hours before the date. (We were going to meet at more of a wine/beer place.) I agreed and proposed a place right down the street. Bad move on my part. She ended up being late, and 2 hours into the date she said she had some music release party to go to. (She worked in music.) Got nothing out of it, and I ended up spending at 2x as much on drinks as I would have if we’d stuck with the first place. I should have declined to change places and seen how she reacted. Probably would have saved me time and money!
I didn’t “test” my girlfriend. I just stood in place. And she decided to stop with petty stuff and stand with me. I gave opportunity and didn’t throw it at her. She checked to see if I would make it even easier for her, I didn’t. Now I’m her “rock”
you have disordered wemen who send you pics very early if you ask and still explode later. Rule number one - see how she reacts when you disappoint her / disagree with her
@shun2240 Ignoring and playing hard to get can become a toxic game and this one action is not enough in most cases. There are the natural ways that come in life... changing plans, disagreeing on a location, an idea, a thought... anything that shows that you are different and autonomous person that has integrity AKA sticking to your guns no matter what and not trying to mirror and agree just to "please her". Finding if she can be agreeable, understands and accepts differences, is emotionally stable and is not judgmental are some of THE things to vet.
In contracting one learns that one does not get what one expects; one gets what one measures. Measure the interest and "temperament" before getting involved makes very good sense. Thanks!
This is as brilliant as always. My ex was a ticking time bomb, ready to explode over the most ridiculous things: -A calmly presented question -A pleasant back-and-forth conversation -Talking about the future What stopped her from responding calmly? Nothing, but she still chose to explode every time. Fortunately, I eventually had the courage to break up with her.
@@squarecracker that approach won't get you anywhere actually worthwhile exploring, I'd guess. respect yourself and stop selling short. there is always the option to avoid | ignore | reject the abundance of incarnates of detriment.
@@VaronPlateando exactly. Do men realize when they say “we’re not asking for much, why won’t you cooperate at all?”, they’re showing they have no standards. Why would they be respected as a result of it? This guy proved himself unworthy with that one
My ex was difficult and disordered to the extreme. I didn’t know anything about it when I married her - we had kids and hung in there for 18 years. She bottled up all her grievances and at the end, she exploded. It all came out and she was still upset about things that happened 15 years ago. I knew bad stuff happened, but I thought we’d moved on… nope
Oh shoot....that sounds extremely rough. Did you ever have check-ins to help release steam? Like every 3 months be like, "Yoo, is there something I'm doing that is causing us major issues?" and vice-versa?
@ not really… our lack of communication was a major problem. Sometimes when she was upset she'd write a note to me and hide it so I’d eventually find it. We were really good at just hanging out and not dealing with our problems, until we weren’t.
@@zotw-101 Ahhh, that makes sense. Great lesson for other guys to hear. Relationships are like cars, gotta maintain them before something breaks down...
Wait, wait. This is an epic video. 💯 I just carried out this exact bomb test scenario a week ago!!! She responded explosively. I thanked her and walked away. I wasnt sure if i had done the right thing, but i value my peace of mind even if it means living with my mistakes ...but to watch the good Dr outline my exact scenario....duuuude. how uncanny!!! How completely serendipitous!!! Amen brother Dr....preach on.. I just want to verify that every aspect of this video is 100% accurate....correct. And his advice here is applicable in real life!!!!!!! 👍
Same here last girl I dated back in August was a "bomb". It was like walking on eggshells around her. Every little thing I did she'd get pissy with me. I don't think these tests would've worked with her tho because she lied to me the first week we dated - told me she was a Republican instead of a Democrat, seemed really patient and chill at first all for her to do a complete 180 on me by the second week of dating.
Hello Orion: I think suggesting coffee for. a first date would be a very effective test. If she says something along the lines of "I don't do coffee dates." Then there is your controlled explosion. Have a good day.
I took my girlfriend to Taco Bell on one of our early dates. Mostly because I liked Taco Bell and figured if she was too good for it then things were not going to work. She was perfectly happy with it and we are still together 5 years later. There are of course many other factors for us staying together, but this was one point things could have ended early on.
@LisaCulton If your standards are based on the price of the date, you are the whole point of doing this kind of test. I would have happily weeded you out and found something better.
I find that calling at a random time when she is most likely to be free to be a good test as well. If she explodes about how a request should have been made first or lays heavy boundaries... she is not into you. However, if she picks up or calls back after a missed call that's a green flag.
We are extremely grateful for your video! As a woman, I completely agree on the testing methods. Unfortunately, we meet "bomb" women sooo often at the university, work, etc., it's so hard to communicate with them. Even we, women, avoid them! They have not learned to put their ego aside and be compassionate and willing to help their man become better. It's a process we all should learn!
All young men need to realize that if they have anything (property, vehicles, money or even an income) they are in danger from predatory women. Always value your assets and your mental peace by strictly vetting women. There are too many sloots and users out there. There is INCREDIBLE dignity and strength is telling a woman who protests your boundaries that she is free to leave. ANY sign of her over-reacting (physically or verbally) is an instant red card. Don't tolerate disrespect. People around you might criticise you for it, but even if they don;t say it, they will have a LOT more respect for you for shutting it down.
I disagree with the pic advice. Prior the first date she might not necessarly be invested. Thats a bit the idea of the first date. I would recomend to lower the stakes rather than raising them before the first date.
Thank you for making sense. I was listening to doc and thought “yea..ladies aren’t going to give a dude pics before the first date. It comes off as super creepy. These guys are going to be so mad when they learn that this doesn’t work in real life”
If a woman agreed to sent nude photos of herself before a date then that's a red flag for me. It's crude, undignified and potentially dangerous (sending sexually explicit pics to a stranger). What's more, if she'll send them to you then she'll send them to anyone. Why would I want to be with someone like that?
@Marking_The_Way asking her to do something a bit low-budget or outside of her comfort zone (e.g., going to a niche sports event or a date at a local street food place) would be better as it gauges her interest in a genuine way and you can observe how she interacts with people outside her normal social circles. If she acts like a snob or point blank refuses, then you've got your answer.
Great stuff Orion! I'd be really glad if you do an episode on types of women to avoid (now that you've mentioned the bomb). There's a way you explain and it and it's so clear!
No highly disagreeable ones for sure= high in neuroticism not difficult to identify it is all me, me, me from them. Imagine a large feed bag overher head and body...still interested ? If not, keep looking.
I made the mistake of not doing this 6 years ago. I ended up in a "relationship" where I was indeed walking on eggshells the entire time and constantly explaining and defending myself. In the end, she became physically violent. So guys: apply these techniques explained in this video. I will save you A LOT of time, effort, frustration, head aches, anger and what not.
I would suggest being careful with indirect "Can you work Saturdays?" types of questions. This can lead to unnecessary false-positives and false-negatives. If you're trying to gauge interest, pick something that synergizes interest and specific needs. Using your example, a new hire could easily say in 2 months "i said i could work some saturdays, not put in 15+ hours of overtime every week and commute to the satellite office twice a month"
Thank you Orion. These nuggets of wisdom are really resonating with me and my small cadre of like minded guy friends. Clear, concise, humorous, actionable.
The most important thing that should be on everyone mind currently should be to invest in different sources of income that doesn't depend on the government. Especially with the current economic crisis
Thank goodness you brought this up! Truly, investing has changed my perspective on how one can succeed in life; working multiple jobs isn't the optimal way to attain financial freedom and unfortunately, we discover this later in life. Currently earn as much as 10 grand weekly and this has improved my financial life. Great piece!
@@stevenaustin3853 Wow, congratulations on your impressive investment success! Your discipline and focus on delayed gratification is truly inspiring. I'm curious, what are some of the key factors that you consider when making investment decisions? Do you have any tips for those of us who are just starting to dip our toes into the world of investing? Thanks for sharing your story!
You are right. The best approach I feel is to diversify investments- by spreading investments across different asset classes like bonds, real estate, and international stocks, they can reduce the impact of a market meltdown.
@@stevenaustin3853 Please Do you mind sharing info on the adviser who assisted you? I'm 39 now and would love to grow my portfolio and plan my retirement.
You should do a series on Cluster B women: narcissism, borderline, histrionic, psychopathic. I would say that 1/3 of young women are in these categories.
have met a lot of NPDs in my day, that lack of whole object relations really sticks out when you learn what it is. You can see when people are splitting between "all good" and "all bad" thoughts with little to no nuance or intergration of the two. Toss in the outbursts (detonations) from the lack of object constancy and you'll know immediately that the relationship cannot continue. Wish I learned this in high school would have saved me a lot of time.
Any bad or unexpected situation will be a test of character. In A Bronx tale, the test was to see if she's gonna open the car door, when you first opened it for her. You can bring an expired credit card to the date, you can forget her birthday, you can lose the tickets for the game / theatre play, or share an unpopular opinion on dating, the war between the sexes, etc. Disappointments usually show whom you're dating.
There’s no need to create bad experiences to “see” what someone is going to do. Live life and observe. Stop testing women, we know what yall are doing and it gives us the ick. It makes a man seem insecure and women don’t want insecure men
Orion knows the game! I’d run little tests like this during the courting phase just to see where a woman’s mindset was. My #1 priority was always COOPERATION. Why? Because if a woman genuinely has interest in YOU, the time you spend together should feel natural, effortless, and enjoyable. One of my go-to tests was to give an obscure meeting time-like telling her to meet me at a park (because that’s what I was already doing) at, say, 7:13 PM. Without fail, women would hit me up the day before or the day of asking why such a random time. It worked every single time. Here’s what I was really testing: Is she punctual? Respecting time is one of the clearest indicators of a woman’s interest. If she’s genuinely into you, she’ll prioritize being on time, responding promptly, and following through with plans. She won’t ghost, flake last minute, or leave you waiting. A woman who respects your time shows respect for YOU-and that’s a solid measure of where her head’s at.
Haha have you ever tried to weed out weirdos and potential serial killers? I think setting a random specific time in a park in the evening would weird out most people who are concerned about safety
@@ll8782 your time zone explains your concern. I’m in America, yet traveled to several countries and never had an issue. Sydney is on the bucket list; I’ll keep that in mind.
I like how you started with the job interview, may need to work on a Saturday, then rolled into the relationship interview. Those two have much in common with the give and take that is needed in a workable partner relationship. Sensational delivery, excellent message and spot-on.
@@filipesemanas4050 Oh, I see. Forgive me, I am not well-versed in advanced humor. Can you explain how it's funny to post the same attention-seeking variation comment on every video? Please ELI5, as I'm sure you have to be very intelligent to understand this answer
Just finished reading your book VALUE OF OTHERS, Dr. Taraban I cannot thank you enough for the help, counsel, right path through your book Gentlemen, spend a few bucks & a weekend time to read this book. You will be saved from years & years of pain in the future. What have you done? You shattered all my preconceived notion about relationship, romance & SMV. My mind is so empty like a new born baby, I have de-learned everything in one read. I already started seeing things in their true form.
The last time I was talking to a woman with the possibility of dating her, I told her that she had to give me a current photo, because all the ones she had sent up to then were old, or I was not going to talk to her any more. She sent me a mirror selfie, but I could tell that it was retouched, so she was lying about her apearance. She had a blow up about having to do it and then she sent me a lie. This is a good test.
Bought and listened to the audiobook! Excellent work sir, you do the human race a service with your astute observations and high caliber eloquence. Excited for more of your works!
Normally, I agree with the Dr.’s advice but this was a bit out there - unless you are talking about a rich and famous guy (for some women maybe??). I think that PG-rated, fun, recent photos could be a good way to get to know each other’s interests and interest level. Who sends compromising photos to a stranger. However, a bomb test is a good idea for all.
I agree. I'm incredibly attracted to my husband, but if he asked for nudes before our first date I would have probably called it off. I'm not a prude by any means, but I'm not risking that potential disaster.
@@Sonic_Ancap - I don’t think it matters. If we have not met yet why do you need a bunch of pictures of me on your phone? I mean I’m obviously not going to get picked to work for this creepy “employer” and I’m ok with it. lol
@@Sonic_Ancap I thought that until he gave the example of the clever woman saying "normally I don't do this, but you seem trustworthy". I don't worry whether someone is trustworthy if I'm sending them a photo that isn't explicit. The response of "the bomb" seemed to be in a similar vein.
i tested a woman earlier this year. i had just gotten out of a horrible breakup and this girl seemed super into me and we were super compatible but then she invited me to a primerica event. i was tryna get my insurance license anyways and it was nice to have someone to study with. then they kept being pushy about recruiting and then the way that the company worked reminded me heavy about how the old girl lovebombed me to get me to act before i got a chance to really think or do any research so i ended up bringing up tge pros and cons of this company and pulled away a bit. she stopped responding to my messages and i ended uo leaving primerica to join a better company. either she just failed the test or she was only tryna use me so shed have a recruit. regardless she failed so onto the next lol
If I had a time machine I would send this episode to my brothers a couple of years ago. Maybe they would dodge those bullets who they happend to be married to nowadays 😅. And of course to myself, I haven't been so wise in my choices regarding women in the past as well 😅.
I’m a dad to an 6:15 18 year old and a 16 year old. Both boys. I’ve sent this channel to them so that they can get some ideas and real life insights into the shit show out there. It’s stuff like this that I wish existed back when I got married. All I knew of was The 5 Love Languages. That’s seems so ridiculous to me now.
I asked a woman for some pics, she said she didn't have any and doesn't like sending any.. I asked if she had social media, she gave me her account name, I looked her up, she had tons of pictures and nearly 4k friends.. I deleted her number after seeing that and moved on. My learned to value my peace of mind and tranquility in life at higher elevations. Never going back to my old mindset and conduct as a young man. They weren't the problem, I was my own problem. I know better now.
This might be one of my favorite videos from this channel. And it came at a good time for me. Just ended things today with a girl I had been on several dates with. Gave her a good amount of my time energy and money only for her to say that she wasn’t ready to have sex with me. Not mad at her, I don’t want it if she doesn’t want it. But based on what I know about her I think she had trust issues from past relationships that she was projecting onto me. In hindsight she gave me so many signs that this is where the interaction was headed. Had I vetted her sexual interest/availability I could have cut bait much sooner. Just gonna charge it to the game and make wiser decisions with the next one.
Boom! Ya, paying the emotional debt from the past relationship isn't a good situation to be in. Good luck sir and glad to hear you're continuously improving!
I have been looking for advice on this for so long now. Videos teaching women how to screen men are a dime a dozen but the inverse is so rare for some reason. Thank you, Orion!
As a woman this video made me laugh. Men will always label women 'difficult' when we don't want to do something that benefits their interests. I do what I want to do, and have a fun, easy life doing it. That being said, Orion is correct; if there is a good or high level of attraction, then women will happily do things for men. 😊
It's not about the refusal to comply to such a request itself, but about the way in which this refusal is conveyed. A classy person has boundaries that he or she enforces, but one can expect from someone healthy to do this in an inoffensive, polite way. And since Orion was talking about bombs, ie people who are easily triggered into rage fits or something similar, the example and the conclusion remain intact. He's not labeling the refusal, but the offensive presentation.
Nooooo, we label women 'difficult' when she has an unjustified attitude and has a severe entitlement problem and is emotionally overreactive for the situation. These videos are about you, not for you.
I'd be careful with the specific test of asking for photos. Most women would try to politely say no...but it'd be a major strike against you in the early rounds of dating.
@@Marking_The_Way I agree. It's very rude, and even if it's a joke it definitely goes against you because it shows you don't care what happens for taking such a big risk. Most women wouldn't like this joke.
Ehm. You are assuming "pictures" means "naughty pictures"? Because if not, then asking to check if she really looks like her profile should be OK in any culture.
Always so great to hear someone explain simply what we all know subconsciously! He gave a great analogy, but I would say he could have come up with a better "test" 😅
DISCLAIMER: First you have to get to the point where you have an abundance mindset! It took me a few years of gruelling experiences and improving myself to go from simp-set to ab-set. While the principles of the video are valid on their own merit, in practice they're probably not going to be very applicable for those average men mentioned in the beginning. You probably need to deeply, emotionally either be completely fine on your own, or know that you realistically have options first. It's an unfortunate case of those needing this skill the most, being the least likely to be able use it.
When 99.9% of women to meet are entitled control freaks, it's impossible to have an abundance mindset. There just aren't the decent women to meet for me and my bachelor friends to date. I have boundaries and don't simp, as do my friends. That rules us out from dating.
Absolutely. The "abundance mindset" video was what hooked me to Orion's channel in the first place. This has affected my life beneficially in more ways than just considering the dating market.
This youtube channel is so important for women to listen to because the suggestions given to these men are things a good woman should never do. I know men like hearing this type of advice from another guy, but it is not the way to a woman's heart. If men do these things to women, they will experience failure in courting. Men already know what the woman looks like, so asking a nice girl to send you personal pictures before the first date is crude and ungentlemanly. You will scare her off. If you want to date prostitutes, they will gladly send you photos, but likely for a fee. And I would think that men know to expect that. Sex requires trust and trust is earned and takes time. Do not expect it on the first date, even though so many men take it anyway. You need to date prostitutes, there are just so many available who will pretend to love you and they will give you sex. So, this advice is for men to date hookers, not good women.
Lol, he certainly didn't think this one through. No decent woman will send intimate pictures of themselves on the first date. If anything, a man asking for pictures on the first date is one to avoid.
If a guy you were highly attracted to asked you that, i think you might see it differently. You’re assuming you aren’t that attracted to him. If you think Orion’s specific example was a bit too far, the premise is spot on in general. Dating should be flirty, so i think it’s important to vet that a girl is willing to flirt and be playful. If you don’t want sex right away thats sometimes acceptable but it shouldn’t start without flirting. It’s not an interview 😭 there needs to be an openness to sexuality on some level. -from a guy’s perspective
@@YS-pt5qr You misunderstood. Its the possibility of sex that is implied. No need to decide before the first date; Ill take '50%+ if he plays his cards right' but even if you go as low 10% ' Meh, hes not too bad but probably not' Its all right. But men never ever are looking for just a friend when asking a lady out.
Obviously mutual attraction at first sight is a beautiful event and a great way to establish a healthy relationship. Testing the waters a compassionate move for both parties.
You’ll eliminate a lot of normal women if you ask for “pics” (inferred meaning), before meeting or even early on in dating. Women are much more attuned to their physical safety than men and this request for pictures initially is creepy and signals danger to many. Yes, if she sends “pics”, you’ll be more assured of getting the “encounter” (implied), but you’ll also inadvertently eliminate the better candidates. Find a better litmus test that doesn’t signal “maybe this guy is a predator and strange” to the female.
Thank you for sharing these valuable insights. I'm a woman watching these videos, thinking that every woman should have access to this knowledge so they can love and be loved in a healthy way. Most of us women want to be trared like a queen, but we often forget to treat our man like a king.
There’s literally a meme that says - a guy asking for a pic is where 79% of women lose interest 🤭 But jokes aside - a woman who hasn’t met you in person has no idea if she’s attracted to you yet - that’s an unreasonable expectation and screams insecurity. You can’t gauge chemistry until you meet face to face.
Honestly, this just reaffirms that I’ll be alone for the rest of my life. Only 1 woman ever treated me this well. Average guys are absolutely screwed by nature.
Y'all just eating up this crap without THINKING it through. 1. You ask for pics, she explodes, and then she's out of there. 2. You ask for pics, she does not explode, and sends you the pics. if she sends you pics, she'll send any man pics. Congratulations, you've got a broken woman. 3. You ask for pics. She doesn't explode and does NOT send you any pics but is internally repulsed as any respectable woman would be. Then she ghosts you because she has dignity and knows her value. You lose in every scenario. Because this game not only eliminates out the bad apples. It also eliminates the good ones too.
its a test to see if she is easy, or will she blow up, or will she be polite modest and decline respectful. Critical Thinking is necessary to understand our Doctor Orion.
@@Keepskatin Critical thinking?!! Lol! That's rich! Did you read my post? You gain NOTHING from this idiotic test. You LOSE in EVERY scenario and you're wasting everyone's time. "Our" Dr. Orion? #1 Simp much? #2 His 1st name is Orion.
@@Keepskatin Critical thinking?!! Lol! That's rich! Did you read my post? You gain NOTHING from this idiotic test. You LOSE in EVERY scenario! You're wasting everyone's time. "Our" Dr. Orion? #1 Simp much? #2 His 1st name is Orion
If you didn't already meet her in person, then it would be on a dating app which has her photos. If it's just tight photos of the face, you already know what that means so just move on to the next. Asking for photos seems redundant or creepy.
He said "pics". That is fair, because initial attraction (in men and women) is largely about looks, though not exclusively. Few people fall in love with someone's character, heart, values, beliefs or soul in the first place. That's what helps us decide if we keep people, not what makes us want to win them in the beginning.
This is a great video! Some additional examples of tests would be a great part 2. One of my favorite tests is the "coffee" date, or any other date with a low monetary investment. Why? Far too many women are entirely too entitled and expect to be taken out to high-end restaurants on first dates, which is a HUGE mistake, for a variety of reasons. Different tests for different things; the first time you invite her over for dinner, call her when she is on the way and ask her to pick up some small ingredient you "forgot". Does she do it with enthusiasm? Does she ask you to pay her back? In the first few dates, bring up prenups...does she say she understands why they are necessary or does she flip her shit (or detonate, as Orion says).
These are the sort of tests which I feel make more sense IF you’re looking for a sustainable long term relationship! Not suggestive pics even before the first date! 😅
@@patriciasiarra1032 Completely agree. And when Orion suggested asking for photos, he did not mean suggestive photos but rather current 'normal' photos. A lot of women put older photos on their dating app profiles.
@ I hope so! :) I don’t see an issue with sending recent regular pics to also verify what you actually look like, and ideally this should be a joint exchange - in the world of AI filters one can never know 😃🙈
Awesome video as always. Looking forward to the next one. However, I do have one question. A lot of dating websites have policies against offensive behavior. How do you prevent the “bomb” from getting you banned?
Vetting a woman with questions are only effective IF she's honest with you. My experience with toxic women is that they have no compunction to lie. And women don't even think of it as lying, simply because they operate on a more emotional level than most men. I've also learned that when a woman says something definitive, you have to mentally add the phrase "Right Now". As her emotions change, so will her feeling about that particular previously stated position.
That's why you do things that require a BEHAVIORAL response rather than a verbal one: Her: Will you 'x' for me? You: NO. You: Do 'y'. Her: she complies or does not. Be intelligent about these, and read the other comments for examples.
I once went out with a stunningly gorgeous woman on a date. And I asked her whether she's be willing to come in and work on Saturdays. That didn't end well...
The 'come in on Saturday' question related to employment. You have to think of a more relevant question if you are dating i.e. the 'send me a pic' request.
The underlying assumption is that if you ask a woman if she is in control of her emotions, that she would lie about it or doesn't know. Either way this strategy/ test is built on inauthenticity in communication and instead of trying to cultivate genuine awareness or one another and oneself by asking the right questions- men are being taught to engage in these games even more. If the dating is successful and lead to relationship. The standard you set for communication is dishonesty. And I don't see how this can lead to long-term success.
Right. You're better off just asking her for a coffee date and just naturally observing/getting to know each other. Play dumb games, win dumb prizes....
Truer words were never spoken. But keep in mind, that there are many women who wont fail such a test completely. They are only "half difficult". It's then on you to decide, if you want to deal with it long term, because there will always be some frictions.
As a woman, I don’t send nudes to someone I have yet to meet. I don’t have a problem with nudity, but I just do not share nudes until the relationship is intimate. I would definitely be open to FaceTiming or taking a non-nude sexy photo prior to a date. It’s just that I personally don’t want my naked body on someone’s phone that I may or may not end up even having another date with. It seems thirsty and crass. Just my personal opinion. I do bikini competition, so there’s plenty of good photos people can find of me. Aside from testing a woman about agreeableness levels, that is smart, and I think more people should learn how to do this before wasting time with someone disagreeable of low interest.
If there is a tendancy to explode . . . it will happen regularly Having worked in a test environment - comparing things against a spec limit detracts from a social occasion.
A good way I found to test is to run mundane errands with them on a sort of date. If they make the day go easy and are happy to drive around with you then she may be a good egg.
I would be very put off if a man demanded photos of me before he would take me on a date. If this is online stuff, don’t I already have photos of me? Would I provide more photos, maybe, but I would think you are assuming my already provided photos are fake.
While women have long ago realized the importance of vetting men, most men do not intentionally screen women before entering into sexual relationships with them. This is largely due to poor optionality, which is just happy to be given an opportunity at all. Unfortunately, this significantly increases the likelihood that men will become involved with difficult, damaged, or dangerous women over a long enough timeline. In this episode, I discuss the importance of screening women and provide one concrete way to do this. Don't be afraid to test her.
Join my community: the-captains-quarters.mn.co
Buy my book, "The Value of Others"
Ebook: amzn.to/460uGrA
Audiobook: amzn.to/3YfFwbx
Paperback: amzn.to/3xQuIFK
Book a paid consultation:
oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations
Subscribe to my newsletter: oriontarabanpsyd.com
Social Media
TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban
Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/
Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks
Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban
Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com
Orion's Theme: th-cam.com/video/WrXBzQ2HDEQ/w-d-xo.html
Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com.
Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com.
GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993
Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community:
th-cam.com/channels/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw.htmljoin
Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com
Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #dating #women
we need MORE TESTS please!!!
I do test, that's why i don't even approach, because they fail before we can even start something.
I already hacked the western minded women and it all comes down to a single word.
Femin@zi
Happily married yet doc?
@@psychacks why would women have more options automatically? That doesn’t make any sense
Most of the guys complaining this won't work for average men don't understand that it's better by far to be alone than to be with a contentious woman.
Sadly it seems the average guy is so desperate for companionship that they haven't learned to be happy with their own company yet
Unfortunately many people aren't comfortable being alone and will continue the cycles
@deadtreebark if they are weak they ain't gonna understand this anyways
@@zergslayer69maybe if men didn’t tear each other down to try to attract women out of it, they would have more success. Did you ever consider that you’re the problem?
@@marcusmcgraw3519Men don't tear each other down. Feminism does.
Another indispensable test is to say no to a request, with little or no justification, excuses or explaining.
Healthy people respect people who have boundaries and respect their boundaries too.
If she accepts "no" without drama, she passes. Bonus points If she expresses disappointment and accepts it too.
If you get back anything like:
- Demands for explanation
- Subtle threats that hint you're gonna regret it.
- Invitations for you to feel guilty
- Passive aggressive behavior like silent treatment, suddenly becoming uncooperative unavailable
- Comparisons to what most men do or "should" do
- etc...
She's letting you know that she expects you to prioritize her needs over yours, and if she doesn't get her way, there will be hell to pay. Unless that's the kind of relationship you're looking for, say "thank you" and move on.
Thanks for that summary sir
All straight facts and very well formulated!
I have some horrible news though. The woman who is looking for you to "prioritize her needs over yours" is 90% + of the female population. I would say it's anywhere between 90% and 98% in fact. So while the methodology is sound, the odds are abysmal.
Imagine having to deal with that kind of drama from your spouse every day for the rest of your life. And if that's how a woman acts during dating, when she is incentivized to present the best version of herself, just imagine how bad it could get once you're married to her and the true person comes out.
That's crazy. I just realized my own mother does these things after reading your comment...
Cleaver.
"When someone shows you who they are believe them the first time."
Maya Angelou? I think. I've always felt it's a great quote!
This happens all the time.. both men and women project what they want on someone and then say they were tricked when it doesn't work out.
@@elisabetta4571 you'd be correct on Angelou
Nope. Youre cynical
Great quote!
I test women like this all the time and it always works, the ones who are really attracted to you will find a way to show it.. fellas never waste your time and effort on a woman who isn’t interested in you, she will make you regret it
Agreed! Men, work on yourself! There's a higher chance she'll be more attracted to you on the 1st date. Worst-case scenario? You levelled up 😃Win/win
Don't listen to this fork tongue joo normalizing degeneracy. Often times compliant women are compliant to everyone (aka sluts) and good women will refuse because she actually has values and principles. Fork tongue snake Orion doing his bit to destroy proper civilization
Anyone can fake good behavior but it is difficult to fake bad behavior so mostly good behavior is faked and bad behavior is real. If you can observe; then it would be easier for you to find a right person.
very concise and insightful, thank you for this
This is gospel. It's why I say you never know a person until you've seen them:
- extremely sick (it's when there is no filter. Will they nicely ask for water or demand you get some?)
- extremely angry (this is when the devil inside comes out. Do they talk or do they get violent?)
- extremely inebriated (this is when the quiet truth gets loud. What do they think and hold back?)
- extremely disappointed (do they become the petulant child? Or do they decide to learn a lesson and progress?)
Until these moments I can be close to a person but I don't think I know them.
That was a bar.
That's why women do these sh!t tests to men.
Screenshot tis
The sad truth is that most men, the majority, have never been with a woman who truly desired them. Most men got into relationships based on pedestaling their woman. That is never the winning strategy.
Same for women. Most of my past relationships as a woman I pedestaled the dude.
I think both genders need to keep it real.
@@marihutten then saying goes, pick better and do better
It's optionality though...well, lack thereof. Most adult men would prefer regular sex but that is genuinely hard to pull off if you're not in the absolute upper tier of attractiveness.
Thus they put up with all kinds of bullshit and let themselves get corralled into bs relationships
Even as the "prize," it's easy to slip into romance.
@@marihutten You clearly don't understand the experience of the average guy.
Dr. Taraban, I noticed that, leveraging your acting skills, you have been ramping up the entertaining element of your content. Let me tell you, that it works! It has never been so entertaining to learn the cold hard truths of dating and the necessary skills. You are doing great, keep it up!
It's so great to see him grow!
@@janidani1 He was an actor before being a psychologist.
Real world example: asked woman from dating app to sunday brunch. woman tells me her sleep has been "twisted lately", asked if i would go with the flow on scheduling which i agreed to. She texts me on sunday at 1030am, but I was in the middle of preparing for my work week and I don't know this woman from a can of paint. I suggested 3pm at a nearby brunch place, and offered a more expensive place as an alternative. She said "let's do dinner (at the more expensive place) because 'she was hungry now'. I told her (the test) I would like to take her to that place for dinner later that week to get to know her, but Sunday dinner was too last minute and messed up my routine in preparing for the week. Never heard from her again. If she was really wanting to build a connection or get to know me, she would have agreed to me taking (and paying for both of ours) dinner later in the week, but this was clearly "a bomb" that keeps a stack of men with low boundaries to take her out for meals whenever shes in the mood. No judgement on my part, but not a woman i would disturb my peace and routine for.
I don't agree with your conclusion. She probably just felt played like you moved her through your week like a domino on a mat. As if it was not important for you to see her.
I would say the fact she wasn't willing to commit to an exact time wasn't a good sign. Also, being on a dating app puts you at a disadvantage as well. Granted, I know how it can be challenging to meet women these days.
@@YS-pt5qr we both subconsciously know i'm paying for the date, and she wanted me to be flexible on time since her sleep schedule was "twisted lately". I happen to run several projects/businesses, it just so happened when she reached out to me i was scheuduling emails/projects for the week. she couldn't be bothered to go to the expensive restaurant in a time i was free "because she was hungry now". We all know and expect the man to pay for the date, I'm supposed to drop all of my responsibilities to "feed" this stranger i don't know? it wasn't me manipulating, it was a genuine test of her interest and she failed. if you can't see that, i'm afraid you may be perceiving life through a level of delusion.
@@Marking_The_Way I don't disagree with you, but I already dedicated the summer (June - August roughly) entertaining women I met in real life at nice restaurants and lounges, as well as dating apps. I agree that her not being able to commit to an exact time was already an "orange flag" but i like to give humans the benefit of the doubt. When she couldn't accept what was essentially a free dinner and drinks because it wasn't exactly when she wanted it... that* was my confirmation of what she was really about. Dating apps aren't all bad, I went out with a woman this past week who was able to agree on a hard time and we had a great dinner and drinks together. We're still talking now, but again, i'm never going to allow someone's opinions or flippant nature to alter my responsibilities and goals. cheers.
@@DigitalHierophant Nice dude! I'm rooting for you to do well out there 😀🙌 I personally don't do well on dating apps, but I found the dance scene (partner dancing) to be the best solution. (So many reasons why, I even made a video about it 😆)
most women would fail most tests
That's the point. You shouldn't be with most women
Most likely !!
@@joedoe2407 Good!
Remember you don't need most women, you just need one who passes
They're going to need to really impress bc I prefer to be alone
I would pay money to see Dr. Orion on a date.
Yea hahaha
@@theguy57546 I would too, because I don’t think it would go that well. I think he thinks too much of himself, which would be ok if his substance wasn’t just pandering to desperate men
Like the saying goes everyone's got a plan till they get punched in the face
I think he’s heterosexual.
I can imagine most of them are either short and end up on a no, but those which qualify are passionate. Exactly how I'd do
This was eye opening. You can tell a lot about how someone feels about the job and position when they are in an interview. That is what women do to us, but somehow, we never take time to set up our own criteria and standards. Best episode from my perspective. Thank you Dr. Orion!
Deeppp! Right, we're trying to show all of our strengths and what we have to offer. How often do we make sure SHE is qualified and a good fit? Something to think about 🤔
Well, not with me, they wish they never hired me,but they cant find a valid reason to getbrid of me,plus I do specialty work that they need. They dislike my character, I rarely speak and uae earlhones because its noisy all day. Anyway, I keep them puzzled with my nonchalant lifestyle.
Yup 👍
I recently had an experience with a bomb. She was a rebound after my last relationship, and we started seeing each other a couple times per week. I got a vibe that she was a little nuts, but she was really attractive and I enjoyed seeing her so I stayed around.
One day, I was busy and didn’t text her for a couple hours. She blew up on me and sent me 3 paragraphs about not texting her enough, and compared me to her ‘toxic’ ex boyfriend. I knew then and there there was no potential for a long term relationship.
pump & dump
So you still continued seeing her, but without any relationship idea on the horizon, I'd guess
Lol @@ayoutubecommenter7494
She doesn't explode on chads.
@@Chud-mb7gl True. 😢
This reminds of Docs age old advice from an old video.... be slow to hire and quick to fire....
Vet Vet Vet, long engagement if you plan to get married….
Yeah just wait and waste a chunk of your life bro
LoL
@@Chud-mb7gl You'll lose far more if you quickly settle for the wrong one, be sure of that
Don't listen to this fork tongue joo normalizing degeneracy. Often times compliant women are compliant to everyone (aka sluts) and good women will refuse because she actually has values and principles. Fork tongue snake Orion doing his bit to destroy proper civilization
So good. It is so entertaining how much You understand the psyche of women. Even as a woman watching your videos, it is very helpful. I inherently know some of these things already, but to hear it from you, explaining it to men for the purpose of helping them navigate through dating, it shows me a different perspective, the man’s perspective.
If women care at all about finding a good man and keeping him, they should watch your videos. Unfortunately, a lot of them would probably take offense to what you say 😅 which is why this particular video is important for men to watch.
I think another thing to be aware of is how a woman communicates after she blows up. It is possible she is actively working on herself and is motivated to learning and evolving. If she is not even willing to be accountable then move on, fast. But if she is, then maybe it is worth giving it time, if everything else about her is worth it.
Good point. Rare occurrence, but good point.
@ I agree, you will be lucky to find it :)
Unfortunately, most people don't change they mask. If a person is selfish. They will remain. You might be able to massage some out, but it's just about self.
Mr. Dr. Prof. Orion stated it perfectly pick a couple key things that you "need" and accept the rest, good and bad. I'll try and find a link
Nicely written. I appreciate your opinion. Thank you for sharing this. I think this was generous of you. I think you would be a great find for a man.
That would be like buying a car with a broken gearbox and no repair manual.
Out of respect and courtesy I told a woman ahead of our first date that we are going to a nice restaurant so she may want to dress up a little (I also knew she was coming out of tough class shortly before so I wanted her to have a heads up).
She returned with a “I don’t appreciate being told what to wear.” Should have known that relationship was going to be a shit show
And if you didn't tell her, she would have been mad that you didn't tell her it was a nice restaurant and she needed to dress nice.
Wow clever testing
Yeah it’s female nature… damned if you do, damned if you don’t…
Yeah red flag 10000%, unless of course you like being told what to do /what to wear Lol. D.Deida talks abt this in Way Of The Superior Man
@@qc7767 Telling her she is being taken to an especially nice restaurant should have been all she needed to hear. Telling her that means she should dress a certain way was an insult to her intelligence. Seeing how she chooses to dress when she knows it’s a special place could have been a test of her taste and manners. I could have seen your suggestion as helpful if it was said in the right way, but I could also think you don’t trust my judgement and assume you are the kind of guy who can make me feel belittled by advising me all the time about decisions that are my own to make.
We need more screening videos!
I second that.
I asked my wife (before, when we were only talking) for photos and she didn't blow up at me. She also didn't initially send me photos, but she did keep talking to me and eventually she sent some photos that could be shared on Facebook, never nudes, and we are still happily married 16 years later. In all those years, we have had only 2 or 3 arguments and none of them were high intensity.
Wow. That inspired some hope in me!
Another delusional man oi news flash you’re the wife and she’s your husband, I bet she wasn’t a virgin when you met her and you weren’t her first choice, she doesn’t find you attractive either and I think you already knew this but you keep lying to yourself that’s why you had to write this comment looking for men who are just as stupid as you to confront you.
agree this pics issue for me is a big deal most men in my experience want explicit photos thats not something I do ever. I would think they would have a clear idea from the onset from my general behaviour of the answer but maybe my fault not spelling it out from the onset. To me its a private thing shared between two people not to be used/shared (potentially) outside of a committed relationship so I would answer no and move on. I would personally feel disrespected if asked for that type of photo from a man I thought was honourable. i find it disappointing but thats just me what do men think?
@@julie-anntownley-rivett5173 Isn't he talking about normal pictures? Not nudes.
@@julie-anntownley-rivett5173 although it is nice to receive a nude from a girl I’m dating, I don’t view anyone who DOESN’T send nudes as less than. Getting nudes is like a bonus prize. If anything, I view the woman as more respectable when they refuse to send nudes.
I saw the throwing things, temper tantrums and the threats. Here's another one: if she has kids from another relationship that don't want anything to do with her, run. Believe me, i found out the hard way.
Single moms are a huge red flag, no matter how good of a package she is, RUN!
Amen brother me too
If she has kids from another relationship she already failed the test. No single moms
The problem could’ve been the guy so it’s tough to blanket that one.
I disagree with the request for pics, but I get the point. There should be some ask. It depends on the person's age, etc.
@@johnbetancourt8691 I kinda think that this advice is for younger folks too.
The way older, 45+ date is a little different than under 40.
Young folk love taking selfies. Older people are too busy working or doing stuff to be taking pics all the time.
And older people don't have time to mess around and play games. It's either you're interested or not.
Yeah, I agree! It’s a request that can be misinterpreted. No man has ever asked me for photos and I confess that I would find it a little strange if that happened. I agree that both men and women should test the target of interest before finding themselves trapped, but I imagine that perhaps there are other ways to do this.
@sayuri3917 But see here is the problem asking for a picture is seen as weird. Overseas women are flattered western women are taken aback lol
@
Well, I don't live in the USA and here in my country we have many types of online scams. Most of us prefer to have private social media and I only accept access from those I know. I wouldn't exchange photos with someone I barely know. Furthermore, I don't particularly have the habit of taking selfies and photos all the time. This is my opinion considering the reality in which I live. But if this is something important to you, I have nothing against it. Only you know what is best for you. It's a personal matter.
@@sayuri3917Yet if a highly attractive man asked you for just about anything, then you would jump on it
I love how he never forgets to add humor to his videos. There are some cold hard truths he tells us and tries to make it sound less discouraging by adding humor, a way to make us know not to get hung up on one particular 'employee'. Thank you Dr. Orion.
I just reviewed the value of others on amazon and gave it 5 stars - what a dynamite of a book
The book exceeded my expectations too. By far. It irreversibly changed my perspective on mating and dating, and I only wish I could've been exposed to Orion's work a decade ago.
u both bots?
I’m about 1/3 thru the book and it’s been great. Couldn’t recommend it more.
@@mkf628no. are you?
Ya got me 🤖@@mkf628
Came for dating advice, got job interview advice and I'm glad. Cheers Dr. Orion Taraban.
Getting the money and the girls now 😆
Two birds, one stone😂
😂
Another test is to make a date location closer to you vs her. See if she says she’s inconvenienced. Or even see how she handles you saying no to her on something she wants. I used to not do these things and now they help quite a bit
Interesting! I once had a girl chew me out because it was the distance was closer to me, but the time was 50/50. I politely declined after that.
I always do this. Recently had a girl ask to change to a different bar, one known for cocktails, 2 hours before the date. (We were going to meet at more of a wine/beer place.) I agreed and proposed a place right down the street. Bad move on my part. She ended up being late, and 2 hours into the date she said she had some music release party to go to. (She worked in music.) Got nothing out of it, and I ended up spending at 2x as much on drinks as I would have if we’d stuck with the first place. I should have declined to change places and seen how she reacted. Probably would have saved me time and money!
As a member of the male species this was one of your best episodes, thank you.
Males & females are *the same* species. You are a member of the males OF the species.
I didn’t “test” my girlfriend. I just stood in place. And she decided to stop with petty stuff and stand with me. I gave opportunity and didn’t throw it at her. She checked to see if I would make it even easier for her, I didn’t. Now I’m her “rock”
@@durandus676 mUsT bE LoVE
The 'test' doesn't have to have words to be effective.
That's all a bit abstract. Can you tell the story in more detail?
@@durandus676 Must be love right? 🤓
I think he means that had red lines and stood frimly by them didn't take any bs and retaliated whenever the lines were crossed@markaurelius61
I learnt testing women is about not simping and having sexual self-discipline.
you have disordered wemen who send you pics very early if you ask and still explode later.
Rule number one - see how she reacts when you disappoint her / disagree with her
Been there. It was... colorful.
Yup ignore her for a few days and see how she reacts
@shun2240 Ignoring and playing hard to get can become a toxic game and this one action is not enough in most cases.
There are the natural ways that come in life... changing plans, disagreeing on a location, an idea, a thought... anything that shows that you are different and autonomous person that has integrity AKA sticking to your guns no matter what and not trying to mirror and agree just to "please her". Finding if she can be agreeable, understands and accepts differences, is emotionally stable and is not judgmental are some of THE things to vet.
@@milenIV its just a test, women test men all the time, why can't a man test her, especially early on in the relationship
Yes! That's an important point. A test is only valid if it rubs up against her expectations
In contracting one learns that one does not get what one expects; one gets what one measures. Measure the interest and "temperament" before getting involved makes very good sense. Thanks!
Agreed!
This is as brilliant as always. My ex was a ticking time bomb, ready to explode over the most ridiculous things:
-A calmly presented question
-A pleasant back-and-forth conversation
-Talking about the future
What stopped her from responding calmly? Nothing, but she still chose to explode every time. Fortunately, I eventually had the courage to break up with her.
She is trash
Far too many guys ignore red flags because they believe their current woman is the best they can get.
‚… that they could get, for that turn hitherto.‘
any woman is the best i can get
@@squarecracker that approach won't get you anywhere actually worthwhile exploring, I'd guess. respect yourself and stop selling short. there is always the option to avoid | ignore | reject the abundance of incarnates of detriment.
@@VaronPlateando wow neat but that's not going to make interested women materialize out of thin air
@@VaronPlateando exactly. Do men realize when they say “we’re not asking for much, why won’t you cooperate at all?”, they’re showing they have no standards. Why would they be respected as a result of it? This guy proved himself unworthy with that one
My ex was difficult and disordered to the extreme. I didn’t know anything about it when I married her - we had kids and hung in there for 18 years. She bottled up all her grievances and at the end, she exploded. It all came out and she was still upset about things that happened 15 years ago. I knew bad stuff happened, but I thought we’d moved on… nope
Oh shoot....that sounds extremely rough. Did you ever have check-ins to help release steam? Like every 3 months be like, "Yoo, is there something I'm doing that is causing us major issues?" and vice-versa?
@ not really… our lack of communication was a major problem. Sometimes when she was upset she'd write a note to me and hide it so I’d eventually find it. We were really good at just hanging out and not dealing with our problems, until we weren’t.
Women never forget any bad stuff. They forget good stuff though.
@@zotw-101 Ahhh, that makes sense. Great lesson for other guys to hear. Relationships are like cars, gotta maintain them before something breaks down...
Wait, wait. This is an epic video. 💯
I just carried out this exact bomb test scenario a week ago!!! She responded explosively. I thanked her and walked away. I wasnt sure if i had done the right thing, but i value my peace of mind even if it means living with my mistakes ...but to watch the good Dr outline my exact scenario....duuuude. how uncanny!!! How completely serendipitous!!! Amen brother Dr....preach on..
I just want to verify that every aspect of this video is 100% accurate....correct. And his advice here is applicable in real life!!!!!!! 👍
You saved yourself nroo
We are no special snowflakes. We are dirt, or star dust if you prefer that term.
@@nammi895 yessss! I realize now that I saved myself!
@@CJAndrew-n7w What was the test? Hopefully it wasn't anything that a normal person would find unreasonable.
Congratulations! 👏
Easily in my top 5 Doc, this one spoke to me for sure!
Same here last girl I dated back in August was a "bomb". It was like walking on eggshells around her. Every little thing I did she'd get pissy with me.
I don't think these tests would've worked with her tho because she lied to me the first week we dated - told me she was a Republican instead of a Democrat, seemed really patient and chill at first all for her to do a complete 180 on me by the second week of dating.
Hello Orion: I think suggesting coffee for. a first date would be a very effective test. If she says something along the lines of "I don't do coffee dates." Then there is your controlled explosion. Have a good day.
@@dhavamaneeganesh2147 No I don't.
I took my girlfriend to Taco Bell on one of our early dates.
Mostly because I liked Taco Bell and figured if she was too good for it then things were not going to work. She was perfectly happy with it and we are still together 5 years later.
There are of course many other factors for us staying together, but this was one point things could have ended early on.
@@skellyton3 Thank you. I hope you will together for many years to come.
A girl has to have some standards.
@LisaCulton If your standards are based on the price of the date, you are the whole point of doing this kind of test. I would have happily weeded you out and found something better.
I find that calling at a random time when she is most likely to be free to be a good test as well. If she explodes about how a request should have been made first or lays heavy boundaries... she is not into you. However, if she picks up or calls back after a missed call that's a green flag.
We are extremely grateful for your video! As a woman, I completely agree on the testing methods. Unfortunately, we meet "bomb" women sooo often at the university, work, etc., it's so hard to communicate with them. Even we, women, avoid them! They have not learned to put their ego aside and be compassionate and willing to help their man become better. It's a process we all should learn!
All young men need to realize that if they have anything (property, vehicles, money or even an income) they are in danger from predatory women. Always value your assets and your mental peace by strictly vetting women. There are too many sloots and users out there.
There is INCREDIBLE dignity and strength is telling a woman who protests your boundaries that she is free to leave. ANY sign of her over-reacting (physically or verbally) is an instant red card. Don't tolerate disrespect. People around you might criticise you for it, but even if they don;t say it, they will have a LOT more respect for you for shutting it down.
I disagree with the pic advice. Prior the first date she might not necessarly be invested. Thats a bit the idea of the first date. I would recomend to lower the stakes rather than raising them before the first date.
Thank you for making sense. I was listening to doc and thought “yea..ladies aren’t going to give a dude pics before the first date. It comes off as super creepy. These guys are going to be so mad when they learn that this doesn’t work in real life”
@@KeyaCares I would totally avoid guy asking that
@@melanieo414I totally avoid girls who can't do such an easy task.
If a woman agreed to sent nude photos of herself before a date then that's a red flag for me. It's crude, undignified and potentially dangerous (sending sexually explicit pics to a stranger). What's more, if she'll send them to you then she'll send them to anyone. Why would I want to be with someone like that?
Perhaps the best case would be her politely saying no and not being worked up about it. But I agree, I think there are way better examples.
@Marking_The_Way asking her to do something a bit low-budget or outside of her comfort zone (e.g., going to a niche sports event or a date at a local street food place) would be better as it gauges her interest in a genuine way and you can observe how she interacts with people outside her normal social circles. If she acts like a snob or point blank refuses, then you've got your answer.
@@jimbopumbapigsticks I like this approach, yup!
Great stuff Orion! I'd be really glad if you do an episode on types of women to avoid (now that you've mentioned the bomb). There's a way you explain and it and it's so clear!
I believe He already did in the past. Essentially "no-threatning" women
All women who're still "finding themselves" and those who've already proven they successfully ruined another man's life. Proceed at your own risk.
No highly disagreeable ones for sure= high in neuroticism not difficult to identify it is all me, me, me from them. Imagine a large feed bag overher head and body...still interested ? If not, keep looking.
Another banger from Dr. Orion Teraban
You should watch the video, there in no mention of sausage.
A truth bomb.
The all of the men here will be happy to" bang" Dr. Teraban!
I made the mistake of not doing this 6 years ago. I ended up in a "relationship" where I was indeed walking on eggshells the entire time and constantly explaining and defending myself. In the end, she became physically violent.
So guys: apply these techniques explained in this video. I will save you A LOT of time, effort, frustration, head aches, anger and what not.
Man, sorry to hear that 😢Things they don't teach us at school.
I would suggest being careful with indirect "Can you work Saturdays?" types of questions. This can lead to unnecessary false-positives and false-negatives. If you're trying to gauge interest, pick something that synergizes interest and specific needs. Using your example, a new hire could easily say in 2 months "i said i could work some saturdays, not put in 15+ hours of overtime every week and commute to the satellite office twice a month"
If I understood correctly though the point is that there never will be work Saturdays anyway. It's purely a test question.
Thank you Orion. These nuggets of wisdom are really resonating with me and my small cadre of like minded guy friends. Clear, concise, humorous, actionable.
That is the best episode you have had in a couple of months, Doctor. A true banger, no doubt about it!
🔥🔥🔥 (Note: I would say the example provided could have been better, but the concept was good)
The most important thing that should be on everyone mind currently should be to invest in different sources of income that doesn't depend on the government. Especially with the current economic crisis
Thank goodness you brought this up! Truly, investing has changed my perspective on how one can succeed in life; working multiple jobs isn't the optimal way to attain financial freedom and unfortunately, we discover this later in life. Currently earn as much as 10 grand weekly and this has improved my financial life. Great piece!
@@stevenaustin3853
Wow, congratulations on your impressive investment success! Your discipline and focus on delayed gratification is truly inspiring. I'm curious, what are some of the key factors that you consider when making investment decisions? Do you have any tips for those of us who are just starting to dip our toes into the world of investing? Thanks for sharing your story!
@@AbelM.QuiñonesThings you can invest In
Real estate
Stock Crypto
Bonds
Bitcoin
You are right. The best approach I feel is to diversify investments- by spreading investments across different asset classes like bonds, real estate, and international stocks, they can reduce the impact of a market meltdown.
@@stevenaustin3853
Please Do you mind sharing info on the adviser who assisted you? I'm 39 now and would love to grow my portfolio and plan my retirement.
You should do a series on Cluster B women: narcissism, borderline, histrionic, psychopathic. I would say that 1/3 of young women are in these categories.
And in my experience 100% of those aged 70
not to be dealt with anyway. any gut-felt recognition won't err, I guess.
have met a lot of NPDs in my day, that lack of whole object relations really sticks out when you learn what it is. You can see when people are splitting between "all good" and "all bad" thoughts with little to no nuance or intergration of the two. Toss in the outbursts (detonations) from the lack of object constancy and you'll know immediately that the relationship cannot continue. Wish I learned this in high school would have saved me a lot of time.
@@VonJay NPDs are sensitive to rejection and slight disagreeable people. There is also no understanding of emotions and nature of life.
Just a third?
Really good video. Hoping the algorithm sees this comment and shows it to more of us fellas.
Good luck out there brothers.
Thank you Dr Orion! You can't make this knowledge gold up! Gentlemen, listen to this Man! He is on point!
Any bad or unexpected situation will be a test of character. In A Bronx tale, the test was to see if she's gonna open the car door, when you first opened it for her. You can bring an expired credit card to the date, you can forget her birthday, you can lose the tickets for the game / theatre play, or share an unpopular opinion on dating, the war between the sexes, etc. Disappointments usually show whom you're dating.
What kind of bum forgets a woman's birthday and expects a second chance?
There’s no need to create bad experiences to “see” what someone is going to do. Live life and observe. Stop testing women, we know what yall are doing and it gives us the ick. It makes a man seem insecure and women don’t want insecure men
@KeyaCares 👍
So in other words, see if she has manners and is forgiving in certain situations? 🤔
@@KeyaCares just wondering, do you test men? if so, how?
Orion knows the game!
I’d run little tests like this during the courting phase just to see where a woman’s mindset was. My #1 priority was always COOPERATION. Why? Because if a woman genuinely has interest in YOU, the time you spend together should feel natural, effortless, and enjoyable.
One of my go-to tests was to give an obscure meeting time-like telling her to meet me at a park (because that’s what I was already doing) at, say, 7:13 PM. Without fail, women would hit me up the day before or the day of asking why such a random time. It worked every single time.
Here’s what I was really testing: Is she punctual?
Respecting time is one of the clearest indicators of a woman’s interest. If she’s genuinely into you, she’ll prioritize being on time, responding promptly, and following through with plans. She won’t ghost, flake last minute, or leave you waiting.
A woman who respects your time shows respect for YOU-and that’s a solid measure of where her head’s at.
Haha have you ever tried to weed out weirdos and potential serial killers? I think setting a random specific time in a park in the evening would weird out most people who are concerned about safety
@ the evening time is irrelevant if it’s spring or summer. 7pm fall and winter is another story lmao, but carry on
@@GMacII 7pm is like really dark here, especially if you wanna do a couple of hours starting from 7. It depends where you live. I'm in Australia
@@ll8782 your time zone explains your concern. I’m in America, yet traveled to several countries and never had an issue. Sydney is on the bucket list; I’ll keep that in mind.
I like how you started with the job interview, may need to work on a Saturday, then rolled into the relationship interview. Those two have much in common with the give and take that is needed in a workable partner relationship. Sensational delivery, excellent message and spot-on.
we need a POV video of dr orion on a first date demonstrating his best advice
and doing cold approaches
Honey wake up, it's a new video from Orion Taraban!
Why are these bot comments on every single video minutes after upload?
Because we actually have some sense of humor... 🙃
@@filipesemanas4050 Oh, I see. Forgive me, I am not well-versed in advanced humor. Can you explain how it's funny to post the same attention-seeking variation comment on every video? Please ELI5, as I'm sure you have to be very intelligent to understand this answer
On second thought ...go back to sleep honey.
😂 so good… hahahaha!
Just finished reading your book VALUE OF OTHERS, Dr. Taraban
I cannot thank you enough for the help, counsel, right path through your book
Gentlemen, spend a few bucks & a weekend time to read this book.
You will be saved from years & years of pain in the future.
What have you done? You shattered all my preconceived notion about relationship, romance & SMV.
My mind is so empty like a new born baby, I have de-learned everything in one read.
I already started seeing things in their true form.
Good descriptive term "Bomb". You just clarified a couple of ppl I know. Thank you 🤜🤛.
The last time I was talking to a woman with the possibility of dating her, I told her that she had to give me a current photo, because all the ones she had sent up to then were old, or I was not going to talk to her any more. She sent me a mirror selfie, but I could tell that it was retouched, so she was lying about her apearance. She had a blow up about having to do it and then she sent me a lie. This is a good test.
Bought and listened to the audiobook! Excellent work sir, you do the human race a service with your astute observations and high caliber eloquence. Excited for more of your works!
Normally, I agree with the Dr.’s advice but this was a bit out there - unless you are talking about a rich and famous guy (for some women maybe??).
I think that PG-rated, fun, recent photos could be a good way to get to know each other’s interests and interest level.
Who sends compromising photos to a stranger.
However, a bomb test is a good idea for all.
I agree. I'm incredibly attracted to my husband, but if he asked for nudes before our first date I would have probably called it off. I'm not a prude by any means, but I'm not risking that potential disaster.
I agree - asking for photos before you meet in person is a red flag to many women. And that doesn’t make her “crazy”
He didnt say nudes. He said pictures.
@@Sonic_Ancap - I don’t think it matters. If we have not met yet why do you need a bunch of pictures of me on your phone? I mean I’m obviously not going to get picked to work for this creepy “employer” and I’m ok with it. lol
@@Sonic_Ancap I thought that until he gave the example of the clever woman saying "normally I don't do this, but you seem trustworthy". I don't worry whether someone is trustworthy if I'm sending them a photo that isn't explicit. The response of "the bomb" seemed to be in a similar vein.
Great topic, fellow sigma
They have to adhere to our standards as we provide more stuff than just our beings
We're all clipping the red wire with this video, boys!
My wife is “the bomb “
😅
What red flags you missed early in the courtship period
@@ryan2clw we’ll take that as a positive..? 💕❤️
i tested a woman earlier this year. i had just gotten out of a horrible breakup and this girl seemed super into me and we were super compatible but then she invited me to a primerica event. i was tryna get my insurance license anyways and it was nice to have someone to study with. then they kept being pushy about recruiting and then the way that the company worked reminded me heavy about how the old girl lovebombed me to get me to act before i got a chance to really think or do any research so i ended up bringing up tge pros and cons of this company and pulled away a bit. she stopped responding to my messages and i ended uo leaving primerica to join a better company. either she just failed the test or she was only tryna use me so shed have a recruit. regardless she failed so onto the next lol
@@Daniel-Deshaun I'm familiar with the company. She was probably just trying to recruit you to the cult.
I love Dr. Taraban. He’s funny and usually right!
If I had a time machine I would send this episode to my brothers a couple of years ago. Maybe they would dodge those bullets who they happend to be married to nowadays 😅.
And of course to myself, I haven't been so wise in my choices regarding women in the past as well 😅.
This happens to almost every men.
I’m a dad to an 6:15 18 year old and a 16 year old. Both boys. I’ve sent this channel to them so that they can get some ideas and real life insights into the shit show out there. It’s stuff like this that I wish existed back when I got married. All I knew of was The 5 Love Languages. That’s seems so ridiculous to me now.
I asked a woman for some pics, she said she didn't have any and doesn't like sending any.. I asked if she had social media, she gave me her account name, I looked her up, she had tons of pictures and nearly 4k friends.. I deleted her number after seeing that and moved on. My learned to value my peace of mind and tranquility in life at higher elevations. Never going back to my old mindset and conduct as a young man. They weren't the problem, I was my own problem. I know better now.
This might be one of my favorite videos from this channel. And it came at a good time for me. Just ended things today with a girl I had been on several dates with. Gave her a good amount of my time energy and money only for her to say that she wasn’t ready to have sex with me. Not mad at her, I don’t want it if she doesn’t want it. But based on what I know about her I think she had trust issues from past relationships that she was projecting onto me. In hindsight she gave me so many signs that this is where the interaction was headed. Had I vetted her sexual interest/availability I could have cut bait much sooner. Just gonna charge it to the game and make wiser decisions with the next one.
Boom! Ya, paying the emotional debt from the past relationship isn't a good situation to be in. Good luck sir and glad to hear you're continuously improving!
Yes definitely make more of these. This is priceless info.
I did that once. Got a nice pic of her decorating the Christmas tree and yes, she was wearing clothes.
What happened with you and her?
That actually sounds like a really cool picture - hopefully it turned out well for both of you.
@@Marking_The_Way I wish that story had a happy ending but nope, she lost interest some afterwards.
@@immortaljanus Happens dude. If you got that far, it'll happen again 😀🙌
I have been looking for advice on this for so long now. Videos teaching women how to screen men are a dime a dozen but the inverse is so rare for some reason. Thank you, Orion!
Everyone during class: Will this be on the test?
As a woman this video made me laugh. Men will always label women 'difficult' when we don't want to do something that benefits their interests. I do what I want to do, and have a fun, easy life doing it. That being said, Orion is correct; if there is a good or high level of attraction, then women will happily do things for men. 😊
It's not about the refusal to comply to such a request itself, but about the way in which this refusal is conveyed. A classy person has boundaries that he or she enforces, but one can expect from someone healthy to do this in an inoffensive, polite way. And since Orion was talking about bombs, ie people who are easily triggered into rage fits or something similar, the example and the conclusion remain intact. He's not labeling the refusal, but the offensive presentation.
Nooooo, we label women 'difficult' when she has an unjustified attitude and has a severe entitlement problem and is emotionally overreactive for the situation. These videos are about you, not for you.
@@elpakotheglorious Great explanation! 💯
Didn't Orion say there is always a price, but the more the woman likes you, the higher the discount? 🤔😆
@@elpakothegloriousspot on 👌
I'd be careful with the specific test of asking for photos. Most women would try to politely say no...but it'd be a major strike against you in the early rounds of dating.
Thank you for saying that. I heavily dislike when guys ask for pics in the early stages. It’s icky
@KeyaCares Thanks Keya 🙂
Stop simping
@@KeyaCaresIt is only icky from guys you don't desire.
@@Marking_The_Way I agree. It's very rude, and even if it's a joke it definitely goes against you because it shows you don't care what happens for taking such a big risk. Most women wouldn't like this joke.
I think sending pictures directly depends on the culture. What Orion is saying is relevant to the western culture not to the eastern.
It exists in eastern culture it is not as prevalent here, but is part of the modern world.
you would be surprised... lol
@@cabot100 No. In my culture if women sends her naked pictures she will automatically will be considered as slut.
I have had more Asian girls sending me photos after getting WhatsApp from online dating without even asking for them then I have in the UK
Ehm. You are assuming "pictures" means "naughty pictures"? Because if not, then asking to check if she really looks like her profile should be OK in any culture.
By far one of the best videos you have made. And I own your book. I’ve dated a lot of “bombs” but never had the language for it. Thank you brother
Always so great to hear someone explain simply what we all know subconsciously! He gave a great analogy, but I would say he could have come up with a better "test" 😅
@ yea the test was weak. But I’m avoiding bombs 💣 which I happened to meet and ate regularly. Now I know better lol
@LeanByK That's awesome dude! 😀
DISCLAIMER: First you have to get to the point where you have an abundance mindset!
It took me a few years of gruelling experiences and improving myself to go from simp-set to ab-set.
While the principles of the video are valid on their own merit, in practice they're probably not going to be very applicable for those average men mentioned in the beginning.
You probably need to deeply, emotionally either be completely fine on your own, or know that you realistically have options first.
It's an unfortunate case of those needing this skill the most, being the least likely to be able use it.
When 99.9% of women to meet are entitled control freaks, it's impossible to have an abundance mindset. There just aren't the decent women to meet for me and my bachelor friends to date. I have boundaries and don't simp, as do my friends. That rules us out from dating.
Absolutely. The "abundance mindset" video was what hooked me to Orion's channel in the first place. This has affected my life beneficially in more ways than just considering the dating market.
@@elpakotheglorious fuck yes! My view on work, friendships, everything has fundamentally altered by truly emotionally understanding that principle
This youtube channel is so important for women to listen to because the suggestions given to these men are things a good woman should never do. I know men like hearing this type of advice from another guy, but it is not the way to a woman's heart. If men do these things to women, they will experience failure in courting. Men already know what the woman looks like, so asking a nice girl to send you personal pictures before the first date is crude and ungentlemanly. You will scare her off.
If you want to date prostitutes, they will gladly send you photos, but likely for a fee. And I would think that men know to expect that. Sex requires trust and trust is earned and takes time. Do not expect it on the first date, even though so many men take it anyway. You need to date prostitutes, there are just so many available who will pretend to love you and they will give you sex. So, this advice is for men to date hookers, not good women.
Agreed. I haven't dated a man who asked for pics early on who wasn't a massiv headache to deal with lol
Its crazy that he said that a date " implies " sex or beeing open to it ! Boy where ?
Lol, he certainly didn't think this one through. No decent woman will send intimate pictures of themselves on the first date.
If anything, a man asking for pictures on the first date is one to avoid.
If a guy you were highly attracted to asked you that, i think you might see it differently. You’re assuming you aren’t that attracted to him.
If you think Orion’s specific example was a bit too far, the premise is spot on in general. Dating should be flirty, so i think it’s important to vet that a girl is willing to flirt and be playful. If you don’t want sex right away thats sometimes acceptable but it shouldn’t start without flirting. It’s not an interview 😭 there needs to be an openness to sexuality on some level. -from a guy’s perspective
@@YS-pt5qr You misunderstood. Its the possibility of sex that is implied. No need to decide before the first date; Ill take '50%+ if he plays his cards right' but even if you go as low 10% ' Meh, hes not too bad but probably not' Its all right. But men never ever are looking for just a friend when asking a lady out.
If you test her the way she tests you, she will call you a “Narcissist”
Good. Then you know to avoid her.
But... I am a narcissist! What's your point?
Who cares?
@@sithraeil exactly, why wouldn’t I be a narcissist if I had to deal with her?
How about a polite ‘no‘? That works both ways. If he accepts that without throwing a fit or assuming I am not interested then we’re game.
Well said! I'm sure women test men to see how they handle polite "no's" 😃
Obviously mutual attraction at first sight is a beautiful event and a great way to establish a healthy relationship. Testing the waters a compassionate move for both parties.
You’ll eliminate a lot of normal women if you ask for “pics” (inferred meaning), before meeting or even early on in dating. Women are much more attuned to their physical safety than men and this request for pictures initially is creepy and signals danger to many. Yes, if she sends “pics”, you’ll be more assured of getting the “encounter” (implied), but you’ll also inadvertently eliminate the better candidates. Find a better litmus test that doesn’t signal “maybe this guy is a predator and strange” to the female.
Highly agree. I think his main concept was good, but this wasn't the best example.
Wrong, they'll send hot pics when they're into you. It never fails, and they'll want filthy pics too. And I'm talking career women etc.
@@modickens1272 Unless you're like in the Top 10%, I don't see that happening...but maybe someone else in the comments can prove me wrong!
Thank you for sharing these valuable insights. I'm a woman watching these videos, thinking that every woman should have access to this knowledge so they can love and be loved in a healthy way. Most of us women want to be trared like a queen, but we often forget to treat our man like a king.
There’s literally a meme that says - a guy asking for a pic is where 79% of women lose interest 🤭
But jokes aside - a woman who hasn’t met you in person has no idea if she’s attracted to you yet - that’s an unreasonable expectation and screams insecurity. You can’t gauge chemistry until you meet face to face.
Sounds like the filter works well
Honestly, this just reaffirms that I’ll be alone for the rest of my life. Only 1 woman ever treated me this well. Average guys are absolutely screwed by nature.
Nature has nothing to do with modern world where nature is corrupted
Y'all just eating up this crap without THINKING it through.
1. You ask for pics, she explodes, and then she's out of there.
2. You ask for pics, she does not explode, and sends you the pics. if she sends you pics, she'll send any man pics. Congratulations, you've got a broken woman.
3. You ask for pics. She doesn't explode and does NOT send you any pics but is internally repulsed as any respectable woman would be. Then she ghosts you because she has dignity and knows her value.
You lose in every scenario. Because this game not only eliminates out the bad apples. It also eliminates the good ones too.
its a test to see if she is easy, or will she blow up, or will she be polite modest and decline respectful. Critical Thinking is necessary to understand our Doctor Orion.
@Keepskatin Critical thinking?!! Lol! That's rich! Did you read my post? You gain NOTHING from this idiotic test. You're wasting everyone's time.
@@Keepskatin Critical thinking?!! Lol! That's rich! Did you read my post? You gain NOTHING from this idiotic test. You LOSE in EVERY scenario and you're wasting everyone's time.
"Our" Dr. Orion?
#1 Simp much?
#2 His 1st name is Orion.
@@Keepskatin Critical thinking?!! Lol! That's rich! Did you read my post? You gain NOTHING from this idiotic test. You LOSE in EVERY scenario! You're wasting everyone's time.
"Our" Dr. Orion?
#1 Simp much?
#2 His 1st name is Orion
What kind of pictures are we talking about? Sounds kind of creepy to me.
The ones to check if she is a catfish, for example.
Lol, creepy? I hear a faint ticking sound....
If you didn't already meet her in person, then it would be on a dating app which has her photos. If it's just tight photos of the face, you already know what that means so just move on to the next. Asking for photos seems redundant or creepy.
@@howiesfunware It seems creepy if you have an agenda of catfishing. If you don't have one, then you don't look at it as creepy. Plain and simple.
He said "pics". That is fair, because initial attraction (in men and women) is largely about looks, though not exclusively. Few people fall in love with someone's character, heart, values, beliefs or soul in the first place. That's what helps us decide if we keep people, not what makes us want to win them in the beginning.
This channel is a gold mine
This is a great video! Some additional examples of tests would be a great part 2.
One of my favorite tests is the "coffee" date, or any other date with a low monetary investment. Why? Far too many women are entirely too entitled and expect to be taken out to high-end restaurants on first dates, which is a HUGE mistake, for a variety of reasons. Different tests for different things; the first time you invite her over for dinner, call her when she is on the way and ask her to pick up some small ingredient you "forgot". Does she do it with enthusiasm? Does she ask you to pay her back? In the first few dates, bring up prenups...does she say she understands why they are necessary or does she flip her shit (or detonate, as Orion says).
Thanks for these john
These are the sort of tests which I feel make more sense IF you’re looking for a sustainable long term relationship! Not suggestive pics even before the first date! 😅
@@patriciasiarra1032 Completely agree. And when Orion suggested asking for photos, he did not mean suggestive photos but rather current 'normal' photos. A lot of women put older photos on their dating app profiles.
@ I hope so! :) I don’t see an issue with sending recent regular pics to also verify what you actually look like, and ideally this should be a joint exchange - in the world of AI filters one can never know 😃🙈
"In fact, you did me a favor" 😂😂😂. Reminds me of something.
What?
I'm all ears
Awesome video as always. Looking forward to the next one. However, I do have one question. A lot of dating websites have policies against offensive behavior. How do you prevent the “bomb” from getting you banned?
Get out of the dating app. Whatsapp, Signal, Telegram or whatever.
That's where you ask her
Vetting a woman with questions are only effective IF she's honest with you. My experience with toxic women is that they have no compunction to lie.
And women don't even think of it as lying, simply because they operate on a more emotional level than most men. I've also learned that when a woman says something definitive, you have to mentally add the phrase "Right Now". As her emotions change, so will her feeling about that particular previously stated position.
That's why you do things that require a BEHAVIORAL response rather than a verbal one: Her: Will you 'x' for me? You: NO. You: Do 'y'. Her: she complies or does not. Be intelligent about these, and read the other comments for examples.
Definitely takes skill to navigate....
This man puts all this stuff so simply.
I once went out with a stunningly gorgeous woman on a date. And I asked her whether she's be willing to come in and work on Saturdays. That didn't end well...
The 'come in on Saturday' question related to employment. You have to think of a more relevant question if you are dating i.e. the 'send me a pic' request.
The underlying assumption is that if you ask a woman if she is in control of her emotions, that she would lie about it or doesn't know. Either way this strategy/ test is built on inauthenticity in communication and instead of trying to cultivate genuine awareness or one another and oneself by asking the right questions- men are being taught to engage in these games even more. If the dating is successful and lead to relationship. The standard you set for communication is dishonesty. And I don't see how this can lead to long-term success.
Very astute assessment.
Right. You're better off just asking her for a coffee date and just naturally observing/getting to know each other. Play dumb games, win dumb prizes....
Truer words were never spoken.
But keep in mind, that there are many women who wont fail such a test completely.
They are only "half difficult". It's then on you to decide, if you want to deal with it long term, because there will always be some frictions.
As a woman, I don’t send nudes to someone I have yet to meet. I don’t have a problem with nudity, but I just do not share nudes until the relationship is intimate. I would definitely be open to FaceTiming or taking a non-nude sexy photo prior to a date. It’s just that I personally don’t want my naked body on someone’s phone that I may or may not end up even having another date with. It seems thirsty and crass. Just my personal opinion. I do bikini competition, so there’s plenty of good photos people can find of me. Aside from testing a woman about agreeableness levels, that is smart, and I think more people should learn how to do this before wasting time with someone disagreeable of low interest.
So you talk a lot about nudity.., which doc Orion did not suggest at all. Perhaps consider what this says about you.
If there is a tendancy to explode . . . it will happen regularly
Having worked in a test environment - comparing things against a spec limit detracts from a social occasion.
A good way I found to test is to run mundane errands with them on a sort of date. If they make the day go easy and are happy to drive around with you then she may be a good egg.
Oooh, that's a good one! Like how does she react to someone else driving poorly, an unexpected detour, you making a wrong turn, etc.
I would be very put off if a man demanded photos of me before he would take me on a date. If this is online stuff, don’t I already have photos of me? Would I provide more photos, maybe, but I would think you are assuming my already provided photos are fake.