when 96% of issues in my life come as a consequence of not having enough money, "money won't buy you happiness" has always made my eyes roll. Such a privileged thing to even say I feel.
The idea of "money can't buy you happiness" is almost always said by people with more money than they - or the next several generations of their family - will ever be able to spend (and the people that idolize them), to people without money trying to get enough money to live comfortably. That said, it is also _technically_ correct that - once you have enough money to comfortably live - increasing the amount of money you have, has been shown not to increase happiness in equal measure, until eventually completely offering no positive increase in happiness. It's just that the people who give that "advice" often completely ignore the part about "once you have enough money to comfortably live". Money absolutely increases happiness significantly until that point. It's only after that, that money starts to drop off as no longer being as much of a major factor in determining happiness. It also, obviously, differs from person to person, as someone with "richer" tastes may be able to gain more happiness from money at a higher level than someone with more modest tastes. It's just not a one-size-fits-all statement, and certainly not one that should be taken seriously from the majority of the people who espouse it.
I really liked the conclusion that Casey Niestat came to in a video about his experience going from poor to rich. Money does solve most of your problems. However, issues like love and finding meaning, and fulfillment in life can't be solved with money. But if you're poor, problems like those become secondary to things like paying rent.
I think it relies more on the fact that happiness isn't really something that's gained by solving your problems. People have this idea with many things, not just money, although that's a common one. A lot of people who struggle monetarily have the impression that if only they had enough money, they wouldn't have any more problems. They would be happy. Then there are people who have already gone down that road, and have discovered that even after getting a ton of money they still have the same amount of problems, just different ones. It's human nature. The Hedonic Treadmill. We like to think "if only _____ would happen, then I could be happy!", but it never does work out like that. Once you have that thing you swore you always wanted, the only thing you tend to do is have the same exact level of desire, but have new specifics fill that void. And those new desires feel just as crucial and imperative and stressful to you as your lack of money did back when you had that problem. And that's generally true. I've never met ANYONE who got something that they really wanted in life and then a year (nevermind decades) later, after being asked how they were doing, simply said "Oh me? I got that thing I really wanted a year ago. Life is just perfect now! I haven't had any concerns since. Just happiness!" Y'know, that just doesn't seem to be how we humans operate. I think that's the most fair interpretation of "money won't buy you happiness."
I'm blessed in that, while not rich, I'm past the line where extra money isn't adding much to the equation (house/car owned free and clear, good passive income etc...). As briefly mentioned in the video, the false idea is that once you reach financial independence that you will enter a permanent bliss, zero stress, utopia of existence completely foreign to people who have more limited means. Humans simply aren't wired to feel content with 'enough.' That said, with proper perspective, introspection, philosophy/spirituality, rationality, the lack of financial stress and ability to buy things with meaningful QoL improvements without much consternation definitely lead to a calmer/better/smoother life. Its dodging the trap of upgrading the econo-car to a luxury vehicle, kids having to go to private school, upgrading from a 'starter' home, 'empire building' with investments etc... where wealth turns into the infamous 'gilded cage.'
I think it's like "all lives matter". There may be some truth to be found in the phrase but when it's said by a privileged person in response to the concerns of an underprivileged person, it can be experienced as dismissive and unhelpful
That's pretty much the scientific conclusion as well. It "buys happiness" up to a point, with that point being when you have enough money to actually live comfortably, before the increase in money begins showing diminishing returns in providing further happiness. Basically, once a lack of money no longer can be a source of actual misery for a person, increasing money doesn't actually increase happiness at nearly as high of a rate, until it eventually makes essentially no difference on their happiness. And it's generally the people who have reached _that_ point who espouse the idea that "money can't buy you happiness", which is then proliferated by the people who idolize them. For them, it's true, more money won't/doesn't make them any happier (or even stop them from being miserable, which is likely something they've done to themselves, often in their pursuit of money in the first place), so they truly believe that the same would be true for anyone else, because they are so detached from reality.
@@R0D3R1CKV10L3NC3 And we also often make ourselves miserable by working long hours and staying in jobs we hate for the purposes of chasing money. For those of us in the middle of the road, it's in these situations I hear that phrase quoted the most.
My daughter went to an eagles game last night with a friend's family and she texted me, "I don't feel like I fit in" and I said "pretend you do and maybe they won't notice" 😂😂
@@adams565”so casually cruel in the name of being honest”. Some people really don't know how to deliver or when there is a point in saying something at all. Not all your grievances towards person need to be voiced, especially when it is breakup situation so we don't even try to work on things anymore. You can criticise but you can do it kindly and frame as area for development.
instead of “do what makes you happy” consider “pick the more interesting choice” i can’t promise it will be right or make you happiest but i can promise it will be interesting
I'm glad that somebody finally said it. I was always baffled hearing "just be yourself" because I always parsed it as "do what you would do in this situation", which is literally meaningless! And nobody seemed to understand my frustration. 'Do what makes you happy' is similar. I have no idea what, if anything, will make me happy. I've tried lots of things and they often leave me really unfulfilled.
I read somewhere that in Canada about $70K annually is the point where money is no longer a factor in your happiness. That number may be out of date with rising housing costs in some markets. In the US, you'd need to factor in health costs I guess, so likely more for peace of mind
The "live every day like it was your last" is a lousy variant of the stoic "Memento Mori" - which is great advice as long as you grok the underlying idea. It really means "feel useful every day" and "appreciate what you have and show love to those you love every day". Because you might be gone tomorrow. Or already tonight. You might not see them in the morning.
"memento mori!" was actually a phrase that was whispered in to Roman generals or Emperor's ears when they were granted a triumph., a massive parade through Rome, showing off their troops, their loot and their prisoners. It was to remind them that despite the massive ego-trip they were currently on, they were still human and going to die. It's a bit sad that today's Rockstars, Social media stars, billionaires and dictators don't have access to that whisper-service.
Money can’t promise life satisfaction, and chasing it often produces dissatisfaction, but having enough to not be in survival mode will almost certainly increase your happiness. It’s just that you still need family/friends, community, purpose, fun, meaningful work, etc at every income level. When people sacrifice these things or make them secondary to money, it almost always results in unhappiness.
My reaction to “be yourself” has always been “do I have a choice?”. I moved halfway across the country to try to re-invent myself and get more chances to make a first impression and make new friends. But I quickly found out that I was the same person in a different place. So I found that advice to be extremely unhelpful. Seven years later I’m not sure that being me is all that great for my goals. Women don’t dig me and I don’t have the confidence to pursue a better career than flipping burgers. If I don’t figure out how to be a different person pretty soon, I might not last much longer.
@DAMfoxygrampa Mostly money, but also my habits. I don’t want to write a whole novel here, but the short answer is that I get rejected a lot for being a line cook in my 40s who doesn’t have nights and weekends off. That could just be an excuse on their part but I’m convinced I could get more dates if I had a conventional schedule. My eclectic interests and dedication to living in my van and not paying rent is a whole other can of worms. And don’t try to tell me I have to love myself and be happy alone. The whole point of life is to be in love and soak up the beauty so I can put it back out into the world. Much like the moon, I shine when I’m shined upon. Otherwise I’m a cold stone floating through space.
@@micah_noel You sounds like a unique person, that is also looking for a unique kind of woman as a partner. Not mainstream. For me that quote about 'being yourself' has only seemed to apply to mainstream people. Stray too far from 'normal' and being yourself is not appreciated outside of our niche.
people are really different. I am pretty unstable in regards to who I am and what I do (granted I am 19 yo, but no the less, I do stand out of infront of my peer)
You said you make videos to hopefully help someone and wanted you to know your 10,000 steps video got me off a decade long back pain sedentary period….started walking 5 miles a day in July and still going (same city as you btw) which eased my depression, reduced my back pain, got me off medication and so far have lost 15 lbs! All a direct result of your video….no bull shirt!
I have experience moments where mantras actually help me perform better. For example, when I draw, I tell myself that I am here to finish the job, and it improves my ability to draw tremendously by getting me to enter into a flow state where I recognize everything that's right or wrong. However, mantras only work for their specific purpose. They cannot be used as a general motivator for everything in life, because what they are is a way to tune your brain for a specific activity.
Ze Frank (in his TH-cam video An Invocation For Beginnings) said "Let me find and use metaphors to help me understand the world around me and give me the strength to get rid of them when it’s apparent they no longer work." I love the way you said it, too!
I always felt like the saying: “money doesn’t buy you happiness” is only half the saying. The whole thing should be: “money doesn’t buy you happiness, but it sure does help a lot.”
How to recognize what do you like: at the end of the activity (it has to be something you are acting upon) you feel charged. Better. So find your stuff. You will find your purpose when you do you loved activities. It just pops. :)
I think about life and death everyday. In a way that I am aware that anyone can die at any time. It makes me feel appreciation for little things and even helps me get around annoyances or when times are not going so well.
It’s really heartbreaking to see how inflation and recession impact low-income families. The cost of living keeps rising, and many struggle just to meet basic needs, let alone save or invest. It’s a reminder of the importance of finding ways to create financial opportunities. You've helped me a lot sir Brian! Imagine i invested $50,000 and received $190,500 after 14 days
Thank you so much for #2!!! I recently read a book called Happier by Tal Ben-Shahar, and some of it was okay, but 90% of it seemed like advice for sad rich people. For crying out loud, he talks about how what a shame it is that college kids who are surveyed these days are going to college to get a good job instead of just to broaden their horizons like in the old days. Who the heck has the money to go to college just to broaden their horizons? You do not go into years of debt just to learn for the sake of learning - that's what libraries are for! Support your local library! (End rant, I love your videos Wheezy, okay bye.)
It's interesting that some people confuse being tactful with being dishonest. You can be honest with a person & still be tactful. Constructive feedback, for instance, is tactful honesty
It’s really great seeing you still making content man. I remember watching you in the old days… I’ll never forget new couch “New couch, couchin’ its way into my heart”
Wasn't there an economics study about how there is a ceiling on at what point money stop being that big of a factor? But at the end of the day, yeah, money buys you happiness.
Just be yourself is actually good advice... in the right context. If you're having trouble making friends trying to change who you are in order to fit in with what's popular isn't going to help. I know I tried, I got called a poser and still didn't have any friends. So finding people who genuinly want to be your friend because of who you are tends to be a lot less stressful than trying to maintain a lie in order to fit in. The worst advice I often hear is "Just talk to her." If I could do that I wouldn't need the advice in the first place.
I asked for advice or tips prior to a job interview (from a current worker at the company I was interviewing at) and got the "Just Be Yourself"... needless to say, I had an existential crisis, couldn't remember exactly who I even am, then bombed the interview. Worst. Advice. Possible. I was looking for advice like, "mention coffee, he loves coffee!" or "everybody works weekends here so don't ask for weekends off!"..lol..
This video reminds me, one of my all-time favorite Wheezy videos is “Why “Do What Makes You Happy” is Bad Advice”. Highly recommend for everyone to go watch it!
I really like to listen to your advice Craig! I can pretty much relate to your "measured and thoughtful" philosophical thinking and I think you contribute by putting more of it out into the world. Keep on keeping on 😊
Thanks Craig. I'd planned to keep doing some stuff tomorrow, something new on probably Thursday and to do as little as possible tonight. Appreciate the video, helps a lot!
I think "be yourself" is good advice (at heart). A lot of our problems stem from our inability to accept ourselves, both the admirable and less admirable parts of ourselves. When we're continually berating ourselves for not being outgoing enough, not working hard enough, not being kind enough, etc., we're not fully understanding what is within ourselves that's preventing us from being the way we think we "should" be. Carl Roger's talks extensively about this, especially in his book Client-Centered Therapy, where he describes how when a client "has come to accept the fact that 'I am what I am,' then she can be spontaneous and lose her self-consciousness" (515). In other words, only by "being ourselves," meaning accepting of our direct experience, can we achieve a genuine sense of what we want to do. I realize by typing all this I'm actually just proving the point that advice like "be yourself" is oversimplifying something much more complex. I wanted to write this though because I think a lot of us spend much of our time rejecting ourselves, thinking that by rejecting ourselves-particularly the "bad" parts of ourselves-we will somehow become better people. When what we really must do is accept who we are and investigate the anxieties and fears that give rise to behavior we find unpleasant. Some great books on these ideas: A Way of Being by Carl Rogers, Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach, and Nothing Special by Charlotte Joko Beck.
Thanks for the bit on "money doesn't buy happiness." It's true--money itself cannot buy happiness. But what money can buy is time--and time can buy happiness (free time to do whatever you want, specifically). Time is the tool that converts money into happiness.
“Money can’t buy happiness” is something rich people tell poor people so we don’t do anything to get our hands on THEIR cabbage. And somehow, we believed it. If it were true, why aren’t all the billionaires in the world giving the poor some life changing money to prove their point, and unburden themselves from all that sad, sad cash?
@wheezywaiter I absolutely love your thumbnail! And your accent! You made me smile. So much. "Took-us" - I needed that. So fun. Wanted you to say it again about 2 more times.
Watched laying in bed after dog barked at garbage truck. Totally agree with you on this difficulty of the examined esoteric life. Certainly not been easy, especially since only recently understood not just me bumbling
I feel like if you're obsessed with intellectual pursuits, to the extent they matter to you more than the things money can buy, pursuing money will make you miserable. I'll take myself as an example. I've always wanted to become a virtuoso musician, and find myself happier when I spend less time spending money and more time jamming on my instruments (or my other creative endeavors, like cooking and photography). What I would say is, you should pursuit exactly amount of effort making that will help you develop enough of a financial base to supplement your true passions.
I always have thought about this as a pyramid of needs, at the bottom you have food + water, above that shelter, and above those are love + belonging, self-esteem, and self-actualization (maslow’s hierarchy btw). And in order to live, you need to fulfill those parts in the pyramid. Which goes to the saying, “money buys happiness” because you need money to buy food, to have shelter, and (maybe, but most likely not) to buy love and belonging. However, this statement falters after those needs, because buying love, self-esteem and self-actualization is faulty and will lead to a sense of dread and lostness. Because you can’t buy those things (you can try via followers, likes, etc. but those won’t satisfy you; look at billionaires), and that’s when the saying “money doesn’t buy happiness” comes into virtue. At that point in someone’s life, money is no longer a necessity, it’s an afterthought. Rather, to find “happiness” or whatever you want to call it you have to look internally. Money ain’t internal guys.
To play devils advocate I would also like to add that to some extent the struggle of making it from month does keep you occupied and satisfied, in a slightly bizarre & perverse way. But yeah, even if I had another couple hundred a month, the struggle would still exist to be fair.
Yeah agreed on the money. Money definitely can buy you happiness, but it doesn’t guarantee it. I got a nice job after college that pays well, and I’ve gotten to buy some really nice things, including a home. All of these things are nice to have, and I cherish them. But there’s more to happiness than material possessions for sure. And money can buy you experiences like sports games and vacations. Besides there’s more to life than being happy anyway haha
"There's only one thing that I know how to do well And I've often been told that you only can do What you know how to do well And that's be you, be what you're like, be like yourself And so I'm having a wonderful time But I'd rather be whistling in the dark" Artist: They Might Be Giants Album: Flood
Money buys you the freedom and/or oppurtunities to attain happiness. And the more money you have, the more time and oppurtunities you will have to seek happiness.
He seems to be approaching that age of sageliness. I hear a combination of Robin Williams and an old Rabbi in this. The tucchuses probably helped in that regard
Money can’t buy you happiness is technically correct but it can buy you freedom of choice. If you’re constantly worrying about bills, saving every penny and thinking about money all the time, you won’t be happy. If you can drop everything and go and play golf/go to the cinema/go on holiday/get a table a the best restaurant in town, it’s much less likely that you’ll be able what most people consider sad.
there can be some value in saying to be thankful for what you have, money isn't everything, and that hard work pays off but these are also things that people say to deny the inequities and oppression in our system 😬👎
I work with college students and the advice I always give them is to find something you might do for free and then get paid for it. Now that I write this, it sounds like I'm encouraging pornography 😅
Yeah, my life felt dramatically better once I reached the point where I could buy whatever food I wanted in the grocery store. Look at me with the name-brand cereal and actual cheese.
People who say, "Money won't buy happiness", have never been truly poor. If they had been, they would never say it. Money can buy enough food, a better place to live in a nicer part of town, life upgrades. Maybe it should be something more like, "More money without self-discipline won't make you happy"
What's wrong with saying something that is true, and never been truly poor? Is it offensive to poor people? Health and disability is a bigger factor for happiness and still as a chronically ill person I understand that being super healthy doesn't mean you are automatically happy. (I understand it's an insensitive cliche to throw around in a conversation about money problems for example, context matter) ❤
Everything in this world is distributed unequally. Money, health, love, sex, lifespan, strength, happiness, depression, friendship etc. etc. We love to make "if, then" statements. "If you have X you should or shouldn't be Y" and "if you don't then you must be Z". The mind has a tendency to seek conclusions.
One of the things I hate people say are “funerals are for the living not the dead” While that’s technically true, people often use it as an excuse to throw a funeral that the deceased’s would hate because they had different views than their family. An example would be if the deceased is nonreligious but they come from a religious family, and they die young so the family throws a religious funeral that deceased friend’s know they would hate
Hey Wheezy! I actually have a question about Beam. How long do you find it takes to kick in? Ideally I would prefer to drink it at least an hour before bed so I’m not going to the bathroom too much, so if it kicks in too fast idk if it would actually help me much. Thanks! :)
And that's the thing about these quotes; You need to be wise enough to know when it applies and when it doesn't.... And that's why they end up being misused because most of us are not the brightest crayons in the box. We hear quotes like YOLO and apply it to a situation that, when enacted, gravely endangered your life. But it's okay cuz YOLO.... Uhuh yeah. But I get your message. It's kinda like you're trying to knock some sense into clueless folks using these quotes as self therapy/pep talk sessions.
when 96% of issues in my life come as a consequence of not having enough money, "money won't buy you happiness" has always made my eyes roll. Such a privileged thing to even say I feel.
The idea of "money can't buy you happiness" is almost always said by people with more money than they - or the next several generations of their family - will ever be able to spend (and the people that idolize them), to people without money trying to get enough money to live comfortably.
That said, it is also _technically_ correct that - once you have enough money to comfortably live - increasing the amount of money you have, has been shown not to increase happiness in equal measure, until eventually completely offering no positive increase in happiness.
It's just that the people who give that "advice" often completely ignore the part about "once you have enough money to comfortably live". Money absolutely increases happiness significantly until that point. It's only after that, that money starts to drop off as no longer being as much of a major factor in determining happiness.
It also, obviously, differs from person to person, as someone with "richer" tastes may be able to gain more happiness from money at a higher level than someone with more modest tastes. It's just not a one-size-fits-all statement, and certainly not one that should be taken seriously from the majority of the people who espouse it.
I really liked the conclusion that Casey Niestat came to in a video about his experience going from poor to rich.
Money does solve most of your problems. However, issues like love and finding meaning, and fulfillment in life can't be solved with money. But if you're poor, problems like those become secondary to things like paying rent.
I think it relies more on the fact that happiness isn't really something that's gained by solving your problems. People have this idea with many things, not just money, although that's a common one.
A lot of people who struggle monetarily have the impression that if only they had enough money, they wouldn't have any more problems. They would be happy. Then there are people who have already gone down that road, and have discovered that even after getting a ton of money they still have the same amount of problems, just different ones. It's human nature. The Hedonic Treadmill. We like to think "if only _____ would happen, then I could be happy!", but it never does work out like that. Once you have that thing you swore you always wanted, the only thing you tend to do is have the same exact level of desire, but have new specifics fill that void. And those new desires feel just as crucial and imperative and stressful to you as your lack of money did back when you had that problem.
And that's generally true. I've never met ANYONE who got something that they really wanted in life and then a year (nevermind decades) later, after being asked how they were doing, simply said "Oh me? I got that thing I really wanted a year ago. Life is just perfect now! I haven't had any concerns since. Just happiness!" Y'know, that just doesn't seem to be how we humans operate.
I think that's the most fair interpretation of "money won't buy you happiness."
I'm blessed in that, while not rich, I'm past the line where extra money isn't adding much to the equation (house/car owned free and clear, good passive income etc...). As briefly mentioned in the video, the false idea is that once you reach financial independence that you will enter a permanent bliss, zero stress, utopia of existence completely foreign to people who have more limited means. Humans simply aren't wired to feel content with 'enough.' That said, with proper perspective, introspection, philosophy/spirituality, rationality, the lack of financial stress and ability to buy things with meaningful QoL improvements without much consternation definitely lead to a calmer/better/smoother life.
Its dodging the trap of upgrading the econo-car to a luxury vehicle, kids having to go to private school, upgrading from a 'starter' home, 'empire building' with investments etc... where wealth turns into the infamous 'gilded cage.'
I think it's like "all lives matter". There may be some truth to be found in the phrase but when it's said by a privileged person in response to the concerns of an underprivileged person, it can be experienced as dismissive and unhelpful
"Make stuff for no reason. Dare to be pointless. And enjoy it. That's the best." - I think I'm gonna embroider this and put it on my wall.
Or tee shirts for everyone!
That is sagely advice indeed
"Just be myself? The person who got me into this mess?!"
I like to say, "money doesn't buy happiness, but it goes a long way to eliminating misery".
That's pretty much the scientific conclusion as well. It "buys happiness" up to a point, with that point being when you have enough money to actually live comfortably, before the increase in money begins showing diminishing returns in providing further happiness. Basically, once a lack of money no longer can be a source of actual misery for a person, increasing money doesn't actually increase happiness at nearly as high of a rate, until it eventually makes essentially no difference on their happiness.
And it's generally the people who have reached _that_ point who espouse the idea that "money can't buy you happiness", which is then proliferated by the people who idolize them. For them, it's true, more money won't/doesn't make them any happier (or even stop them from being miserable, which is likely something they've done to themselves, often in their pursuit of money in the first place), so they truly believe that the same would be true for anyone else, because they are so detached from reality.
@@R0D3R1CKV10L3NC3 And we also often make ourselves miserable by working long hours and staying in jobs we hate for the purposes of chasing money. For those of us in the middle of the road, it's in these situations I hear that phrase quoted the most.
“Dare to be pointless” is such important advice for living a happier life
Nothing has more impact on happiness than the ability to get by without constant stress over money.
My daughter went to an eagles game last night with a friend's family and she texted me, "I don't feel like I fit in" and I said "pretend you do and maybe they won't notice" 😂😂
Compassionate honesty, not brutal honesty
Far too many wrap honesty in cruelty and pretend they are doing favors for others, while really just hurting others because the world has hurt them.
@@adams565”so casually cruel in the name of being honest”. Some people really don't know how to deliver or when there is a point in saying something at all. Not all your grievances towards person need to be voiced, especially when it is breakup situation so we don't even try to work on things anymore. You can criticise but you can do it kindly and frame as area for development.
instead of “do what makes you happy” consider “pick the more interesting choice” i can’t promise it will be right or make you happiest but i can promise it will be interesting
Like what a few hundred million of Americans did last week! Gotta love it.
@@mumiemonstret you have got a point, man
Money might not buy happiness but having food in the fridge and your bills paid definitely helps with happiness levels.
I'm glad that somebody finally said it. I was always baffled hearing "just be yourself" because I always parsed it as "do what you would do in this situation", which is literally meaningless! And nobody seemed to understand my frustration. 'Do what makes you happy' is similar. I have no idea what, if anything, will make me happy. I've tried lots of things and they often leave me really unfulfilled.
I read somewhere that in Canada about $70K annually is the point where money is no longer a factor in your happiness. That number may be out of date with rising housing costs in some markets. In the US, you'd need to factor in health costs I guess, so likely more for peace of mind
I assume that amount is for outside major cities, but would have to be higher in locations where the cost of housing is high
Not a Canada thing, it was $72K in the US. The number from that particular study is outdated, however, the current number is like $100k
I've always heard "Be Yourself" in a relationship seeking setting. That's the time where I feel you do need to be yourself
"Just be yourself", no, but live with integrity and clear boundaries, while still respecting the social expectations.
The "live every day like it was your last" is a lousy variant of the stoic "Memento Mori" - which is great advice as long as you grok the underlying idea. It really means "feel useful every day" and "appreciate what you have and show love to those you love every day". Because you might be gone tomorrow. Or already tonight. You might not see them in the morning.
Memento Mori and Carpe Diem... yes, that's basically it but with a more palatable English title
"memento mori!" was actually a phrase that was whispered in to Roman generals or Emperor's ears when they were granted a triumph., a massive parade through Rome, showing off their troops, their loot and their prisoners.
It was to remind them that despite the massive ego-trip they were currently on, they were still human and going to die.
It's a bit sad that today's Rockstars, Social media stars, billionaires and dictators don't have access to that whisper-service.
Money can’t promise life satisfaction, and chasing it often produces dissatisfaction, but having enough to not be in survival mode will almost certainly increase your happiness. It’s just that you still need family/friends, community, purpose, fun, meaningful work, etc at every income level. When people sacrifice these things or make them secondary to money, it almost always results in unhappiness.
My reaction to “be yourself” has always been “do I have a choice?”. I moved halfway across the country to try to re-invent myself and get more chances to make a first impression and make new friends. But I quickly found out that I was the same person in a different place. So I found that advice to be extremely unhelpful. Seven years later I’m not sure that being me is all that great for my goals. Women don’t dig me and I don’t have the confidence to pursue a better career than flipping burgers. If I don’t figure out how to be a different person pretty soon, I might not last much longer.
What is stopping you from improving your situation?
@DAMfoxygrampa Mostly money, but also my habits. I don’t want to write a whole novel here, but the short answer is that I get rejected a lot for being a line cook in my 40s who doesn’t have nights and weekends off. That could just be an excuse on their part but I’m convinced I could get more dates if I had a conventional schedule. My eclectic interests and dedication to living in my van and not paying rent is a whole other can of worms. And don’t try to tell me I have to love myself and be happy alone. The whole point of life is to be in love and soak up the beauty so I can put it back out into the world. Much like the moon, I shine when I’m shined upon. Otherwise I’m a cold stone floating through space.
@@micah_noel You sounds like a unique person, that is also looking for a unique kind of woman as a partner. Not mainstream. For me that quote about 'being yourself' has only seemed to apply to mainstream people. Stray too far from 'normal' and being yourself is not appreciated outside of our niche.
people are really different. I am pretty unstable in regards to who I am and what I do (granted I am 19 yo, but no the less, I do stand out of infront of my peer)
You said you make videos to hopefully help someone and wanted you to know your 10,000 steps video got me off a decade long back pain sedentary period….started walking 5 miles a day in July and still going (same city as you btw) which eased my depression, reduced my back pain, got me off medication and so far have lost 15 lbs! All a direct result of your video….no bull shirt!
I have experience moments where mantras actually help me perform better. For example, when I draw, I tell myself that I am here to finish the job, and it improves my ability to draw tremendously by getting me to enter into a flow state where I recognize everything that's right or wrong. However, mantras only work for their specific purpose. They cannot be used as a general motivator for everything in life, because what they are is a way to tune your brain for a specific activity.
Ze Frank (in his TH-cam video An Invocation For Beginnings) said "Let me find and use metaphors to help me understand the world around me and give me the strength to get rid of them when it’s apparent they no longer work." I love the way you said it, too!
I see 'do what makes you happy' as encouraging someone to follow their heart rather than doing what they feel obligated to do
"Just be yourself :D"
"But being myself is why I am in trubble!"😫
Thanks Wheezy, for the actually helpful advice!
Tuccus
"Miney doesn't buy you happiness, but it directly impacts everything that does" is the best way I've heard it.
I always felt like the saying: “money doesn’t buy you happiness” is only half the saying. The whole thing should be: “money doesn’t buy you happiness, but it sure does help a lot.”
Thank you. Less does not equal fewer.
How to recognize what do you like: at the end of the activity (it has to be something you are acting upon) you feel charged. Better. So find your stuff.
You will find your purpose when you do you loved activities. It just pops. :)
I think about life and death everyday. In a way that I am aware that anyone can die at any time. It makes me feel appreciation for little things and even helps me get around annoyances or when times are not going so well.
Don't simply retire from something; have something to retire to. Start saving, keep saving, and stick to investments
It’s really heartbreaking to see how inflation and recession impact low-income families. The cost of living keeps rising, and many struggle just to meet basic needs, let alone save or invest. It’s a reminder of the importance of finding ways to create financial opportunities. You've helped me a lot sir Brian! Imagine i invested $50,000 and received $190,500 after 14 days
Absolutely! Profits are possible, especially now, but complex transactions should be handled by experienced market professionals.
Finding yourself a good broker is as same as finding a good wife, which you go less stress, you get just enough with so much little effort at things
Brian demonstrates an excellent understanding of market trends, making well informed decisions that leads to consistent profit
I'm surprised that you just mentioned and recommend Mr Brian Nelson. I met him at a conference in 2018 and we have been working together ever since.
Thank you so much for #2!!! I recently read a book called Happier by Tal Ben-Shahar, and some of it was okay, but 90% of it seemed like advice for sad rich people. For crying out loud, he talks about how what a shame it is that college kids who are surveyed these days are going to college to get a good job instead of just to broaden their horizons like in the old days. Who the heck has the money to go to college just to broaden their horizons? You do not go into years of debt just to learn for the sake of learning - that's what libraries are for! Support your local library! (End rant, I love your videos Wheezy, okay bye.)
It's interesting that some people confuse being tactful with being dishonest. You can be honest with a person & still be tactful. Constructive feedback, for instance, is tactful honesty
It’s really great seeing you still making content man. I remember watching you in the old days… I’ll never forget new couch
“New couch, couchin’ its way into my heart”
Wasn't there an economics study about how there is a ceiling on at what point money stop being that big of a factor? But at the end of the day, yeah, money buys you happiness.
Just wanted to say that I'm still so completely enjoying the WheezyWaiter renaissance period we're in.
Just be yourself is actually good advice... in the right context.
If you're having trouble making friends trying to change who you are in order to fit in with what's popular isn't going to help. I know I tried, I got called a poser and still didn't have any friends. So finding people who genuinly want to be your friend because of who you are tends to be a lot less stressful than trying to maintain a lie in order to fit in.
The worst advice I often hear is "Just talk to her." If I could do that I wouldn't need the advice in the first place.
I asked for advice or tips prior to a job interview (from a current worker at the company I was interviewing at) and got the "Just Be Yourself"... needless to say, I had an existential crisis, couldn't remember exactly who I even am, then bombed the interview. Worst. Advice. Possible.
I was looking for advice like, "mention coffee, he loves coffee!" or "everybody works weekends here so don't ask for weekends off!"..lol..
i was feeling really low today, thanks for cheering me up!! 🙏 and yes, i will snap out of it!! love that movie.
I love that this silly space makes me open my notes app and start writing because it is inspiring me. Thanks, WheezyWaiter!
SOOOOO CHANGABLE! Yes, I love this line, you extra made my day including it in this great video! Thank you!
You've got this!!!
You just need to believe in yourself to achieve (insert desire /ambition here)...
You're unique...
5:15 THANK YOU! It genuinely bothers me when people use the wrong one.
This video really spoke to me. I wrote down a couple of things you said, it is really helpful. Thank you for the video!
7:33 Outcome independence is HUGE! Doing what you love to do just because you love to do it is the way.
I watched all the way to the end and you know I loved it.
This video reminds me, one of my all-time favorite Wheezy videos is “Why “Do What Makes You Happy” is Bad Advice”. Highly recommend for everyone to go watch it!
I really like to listen to your advice Craig! I can pretty much relate to your "measured and thoughtful" philosophical thinking and I think you contribute by putting more of it out into the world. Keep on keeping on 😊
United we bargain, divided we beg Wheezy!
Preach Craig. You are the thought-weaver we deserve.
Thanks Craig. I'd planned to keep doing some stuff tomorrow, something new on probably Thursday and to do as little as possible tonight. Appreciate the video, helps a lot!
"When life hands you lemons, make lemonade" - That's some sour lemonade. Where's the water and sugar? The recipe?
I think "be yourself" is good advice (at heart). A lot of our problems stem from our inability to accept ourselves, both the admirable and less admirable parts of ourselves. When we're continually berating ourselves for not being outgoing enough, not working hard enough, not being kind enough, etc., we're not fully understanding what is within ourselves that's preventing us from being the way we think we "should" be. Carl Roger's talks extensively about this, especially in his book Client-Centered Therapy, where he describes how when a client "has come to accept the fact that 'I am what I am,' then she can be spontaneous and lose her self-consciousness" (515). In other words, only by "being ourselves," meaning accepting of our direct experience, can we achieve a genuine sense of what we want to do. I realize by typing all this I'm actually just proving the point that advice like "be yourself" is oversimplifying something much more complex. I wanted to write this though because I think a lot of us spend much of our time rejecting ourselves, thinking that by rejecting ourselves-particularly the "bad" parts of ourselves-we will somehow become better people. When what we really must do is accept who we are and investigate the anxieties and fears that give rise to behavior we find unpleasant. Some great books on these ideas: A Way of Being by Carl Rogers, Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach, and Nothing Special by Charlotte Joko Beck.
I heard the advice to not BE yourself but to CREATE yourself, and that resonates with me
Thanks for the bit on "money doesn't buy happiness." It's true--money itself cannot buy happiness. But what money can buy is time--and time can buy happiness (free time to do whatever you want, specifically). Time is the tool that converts money into happiness.
And, in the USA, money is literally the difference between life and death. In the USA, medical care is unattainable without vast amounts of wealth
Money would certainly solve all my financial problems. And let me own a house. And set up my retirement. That's 90% of my problems solved right there.
“Money can’t buy happiness” is something rich people tell poor people so we don’t do anything to get our hands on THEIR cabbage. And somehow, we believed it. If it were true, why aren’t all the billionaires in the world giving the poor some life changing money to prove their point, and unburden themselves from all that sad, sad cash?
@wheezywaiter I absolutely love your thumbnail! And your accent! You made me smile. So much. "Took-us" - I needed that. So fun. Wanted you to say it again about 2 more times.
I had to subscribe and like the video too. You made my evening.
I live for breaking video goal #3. I'm glad you do too.
Watched laying in bed after dog barked at garbage truck. Totally agree with you on this difficulty of the examined esoteric life. Certainly not been easy, especially since only recently understood not just me bumbling
I feel like if you're obsessed with intellectual pursuits, to the extent they matter to you more than the things money can buy, pursuing money will make you miserable. I'll take myself as an example. I've always wanted to become a virtuoso musician, and find myself happier when I spend less time spending money and more time jamming on my instruments (or my other creative endeavors, like cooking and photography). What I would say is, you should pursuit exactly amount of effort making that will help you develop enough of a financial base to supplement your true passions.
I always have thought about this as a pyramid of needs, at the bottom you have food + water, above that shelter, and above those are love + belonging, self-esteem, and self-actualization (maslow’s hierarchy btw). And in order to live, you need to fulfill those parts in the pyramid. Which goes to the saying, “money buys happiness” because you need money to buy food, to have shelter, and (maybe, but most likely not) to buy love and belonging. However, this statement falters after those needs, because buying love, self-esteem and self-actualization is faulty and will lead to a sense of dread and lostness. Because you can’t buy those things (you can try via followers, likes, etc. but those won’t satisfy you; look at billionaires), and that’s when the saying “money doesn’t buy happiness” comes into virtue. At that point in someone’s life, money is no longer a necessity, it’s an afterthought. Rather, to find “happiness” or whatever you want to call it you have to look internally. Money ain’t internal guys.
To play devils advocate I would also like to add that to some extent the struggle of making it from month does keep you occupied and satisfied, in a slightly bizarre & perverse way. But yeah, even if I had another couple hundred a month, the struggle would still exist to be fair.
Yeah agreed on the money. Money definitely can buy you happiness, but it doesn’t guarantee it. I got a nice job after college that pays well, and I’ve gotten to buy some really nice things, including a home. All of these things are nice to have, and I cherish them. But there’s more to happiness than material possessions for sure. And money can buy you experiences like sports games and vacations. Besides there’s more to life than being happy anyway haha
It’s ok, this boats on fire 🎉 song stuck in my head now. Good earworm, tho ❤️
Maan it's crazy thinking been around for almost 20 years in February
@5:09 why an Irish flag for Italy?
"There's only one thing that I know how to do well
And I've often been told that you only can do
What you know how to do well
And that's be you, be what you're like, be like yourself
And so I'm having a wonderful time
But I'd rather be whistling in the dark"
Artist: They Might Be Giants
Album: Flood
This is such a great vid, I am going to save this one to show people whenever one of these bland stupid adages. Thank you Wheezy Craig!
Money buys you the freedom and/or oppurtunities to attain happiness.
And the more money you have, the more time and oppurtunities you will have to seek happiness.
My grandpa always says: “Money isn’t everything, but it sure does help!”
“The moving target of balance” 💎
Hey it's the non stick pan guy!!!...or the coffee guy?
07:50 "Dare to be pointless" is great!
Money can't buy happiness
Corollary: Poverty can only afford sorrows.
Continuity error! A wrist band for a watch or a whoop or something at 9:53!
lol loved the end joke 😂
He seems to be approaching that age of sageliness. I hear a combination of Robin Williams and an old Rabbi in this.
The tucchuses probably helped in that regard
Money can’t buy you happiness is technically correct but it can buy you freedom of choice.
If you’re constantly worrying about bills, saving every penny and thinking about money all the time, you won’t be happy.
If you can drop everything and go and play golf/go to the cinema/go on holiday/get a table a the best restaurant in town, it’s much less likely that you’ll be able what most people consider sad.
there can be some value in saying to be thankful for what you have, money isn't everything, and that hard work pays off but
these are also things that people say to deny the inequities and oppression in our system 😬👎
Thank you for untangling this tangle of weeds, wheezy waido
Hard work definitely does not mean success. Unless your success is purely saying “wow I did lots of work!”
I work with college students and the advice I always give them is to find something you might do for free and then get paid for it. Now that I write this, it sounds like I'm encouraging pornography 😅
Yeah, my life felt dramatically better once I reached the point where I could buy whatever food I wanted in the grocery store. Look at me with the name-brand cereal and actual cheese.
Hi! I follow you from Italy! With more money, i cantare a trip to the USA and visit your beautiful parks! I love your Videos!
People who say, "Money won't buy happiness", have never been truly poor. If they had been, they would never say it. Money can buy enough food, a better place to live in a nicer part of town, life upgrades. Maybe it should be something more like, "More money without self-discipline won't make you happy"
What's wrong with saying something that is true, and never been truly poor? Is it offensive to poor people? Health and disability is a bigger factor for happiness and still as a chronically ill person I understand that being super healthy doesn't mean you are automatically happy. (I understand it's an insensitive cliche to throw around in a conversation about money problems for example, context matter) ❤
Everything in this world is distributed unequally. Money, health, love, sex, lifespan, strength, happiness, depression, friendship etc. etc.
We love to make "if, then" statements. "If you have X you should or shouldn't be Y" and "if you don't then you must be Z".
The mind has a tendency to seek conclusions.
Great video Craig keep up the grind 👍
Could you please come to my house daily and be my therapist. I have cookies.
Soooo wise 🤯
Preach!! 🙌
Yep.
You should read This Beauty by Nick Riggle. It's a deep philosophical dive into the pointlessness of "YOLO"-type life advice.
Every time someone tells me money doesn't buy happiness, I ask them to prove it and give me $5000
That was funny. Ur quite charming. Thx! Really enjoyed that...
One of the things I hate people say are “funerals are for the living not the dead”
While that’s technically true, people often use it as an excuse to throw a funeral that the deceased’s would hate because they had different views than their family.
An example would be if the deceased is nonreligious but they come from a religious family, and they die young so the family throws a religious funeral that deceased friend’s know they would hate
376th subscriber here. Still love's ya, give or take 50 or so
Ow yeeeah
Hey Wheezy! I actually have a question about Beam. How long do you find it takes to kick in? Ideally I would prefer to drink it at least an hour before bed so I’m not going to the bathroom too much, so if it kicks in too fast idk if it would actually help me much. Thanks! :)
And that's the thing about these quotes; You need to be wise enough to know when it applies and when it doesn't.... And that's why they end up being misused because most of us are not the brightest crayons in the box. We hear quotes like YOLO and apply it to a situation that, when enacted, gravely endangered your life.
But it's okay cuz YOLO.... Uhuh yeah.
But I get your message. It's kinda like you're trying to knock some sense into clueless folks using these quotes as self therapy/pep talk sessions.
Yay! Amelia Bedilia is so good!
good video!
a nice video to show up in my feed during a nervous breakdown lol
putting moriarty from sherlock into the video....INSTANT LIKE, I wasn't even looking at the screen and knew the scene ':)