this is why i became a full time backpacking and canoe guide. the money may not be as good as my old job but everyday i get paid to do what i love most. the wilderness never gets old
You've figured out the key to happiness! Who cares about all of the materialistic materials that everyone works so hard for. We don't take it with us when we die! Live happy and forget about society! That's what I've been doing for the last 6 years and I feel so much better!
I have an extensive background in wilderness and backcountry trails, where do I start to become a full time guide? I imagine talking to folks at NPS would be a good start.
The man that invented the original cubicle in the 70s said he was so sickened by what corporate America had done to his invention before he had died. It was never meant to be just a way to shove more workers into smaller spaces.
@@EmilKamppp It was designed to give workers privacy as well as mobility. It was supposed to be like a mini office people could slip into and out of easily. The original trifold piece was supposed to have a wall to the back and two narrow slits functioning as doorways. As you would imagine the modern cubicle doesn't offer much privacy and doesn't feel like a mini office at all. It feels like what it is, a desk in rows of desks with little walls on top.
After growing up in a house with a sick parent from age 6-21 and not being able to do many(really almost none) trips, I went on a roadtrip from cape cod MA to yellowstone park 9 months ago for almost a month, and my entire perception of life has changed. Ive stopped spending all my extra money on dumb shit, and have accumulated and adjusted to using a lot of my backpacking/camping gear. I cant understand how everyone lives a normal 9-5 and is comfortable with it. Glad I found your videos! Keep on keepin on man.
I know this video has been around for some years, but I just found it and it spoke to me more than most. I can relate well to this depression. While I have backpacked, I don't consider myself a backpacker. I travel by bicycle, fully loaded, following my own route, and often alone. This past summer I completed a solo journey across the continent, from the Atlantic to the Pacific, partly out of a need for adventure and partly to cope with a life event which left me in emotional turmoil. My plan was to keep riding until it became mundane and then call it quits. It never became mundane and I never called it quits. Each day was an adventure, each sunrise a promise, each evening a reward. Once I dipped my wheel in the Pacific, I suddenly felt alone, melancholy, lost. I no longer felt a sense of purpose. I cope better now, but the depression lingers. I never speak of my journey to anyone because they cannot relate and I don't want to be a bore. Thanks for these videos. They will be my inspiration while I seek my next adventure.
You’re not alone! I just completed my first bike tour from Oregon to Virginia and coming back has been a challenge. It’s honestly hard to admit that sometimes. But we’ll get through it!
Lucy stinson the trail is what I like. Getting the road and just walk. I don't really like setting camp, I just wanna walk. (not in the US yet, but I hope atone point to hike the AT)
This made me cry because I feel EXACTLY the same and have been dealing with this stuff alone for years. None of my friends understand because it's not their thing and I hike alone. I feel very lost without the mountains. Thank you for being an actual human that gets it. I don't understand most humans anymore than they understand me!
What you are describing is EXACTLY how I felt when I came back to civilization after long term travel. I travelled for 5 years around the world, never coming home. When I returned, people were mildly interested in where I had been but couldn't relate to my experiences. Not only that but they became disinterested after me talking about it for any length of time, they just didn't care about the details. The travel changed me as a person, made me better, changed my perspective but.... it haunted me for years and years. I would think about it daily, I could hear it calling me to come back. It has been a long time now since I have been back, 13 years, the itch is gone but I still think about it often.
I used to backpack quite a bit. Now, I'm in my 70's. About 5 years ago, the distance I could do over relatively easy terrain dropped down to only 5-10 miles per day due to joint pain. I gave up. I was pretty (very) depressed. I've found that traveling in my 4x4 with my small rugged camper and going out far into the backcountry (15-20 miles off paved roads and "boondocking" for a couple of weeks satisfies my needs. Now I feel like I'm "addicted" to camping out in the middle of no where with my dog. I have found peace and contentment. When I return to my sticks and bricks home, I cannot wait to go out again.
All of this is SO TRUE! 16 years after my AT journey, I am still depressed, can't connect with others unless they are hikers that have had similar experiences, and feel that I am a ruined woman...disdainful of society and its rules...
Glad to hear yet another person connecting with the message I was trying to get across in this video. So many negative comments from people who don't understand on here. I guess we fear what we don't understand. Thanks for Watching Susan! Hike On, Darwin
I just watched your vid because I've been saying the trail ruined my life for the past 18 months since I completed my thru hike. Almost verbatim, those are words I have said over and over. As far AS I'm concerned you hit the nail on the head. I was 62 when I finally committed to a thru hike. When I returned I sold my tavern and most of my construction equipment.I'm two hundred miles into my flip flop hike now and could not be happier. Good luck on your future endeavors. "Life is not measured by how much you have, rather by how little you need to be happy."
Couldn't put it any better. I spent a little over 2 months living in the bush in a wikiup and tipi. I fished and hunted for most of my food, isolated in northern Ontario. Never felt that good in my life. Almost ruined me when I came back home. I felt more alone surrounded by family and friends than when I was actually alone in the wilderness. Thanks for sharing this, it's not something that is often talked about. All the best brother.
I did the AT in 2010. At first I was glad to be done with it - finally some rest and no mountains to get over for the next resupply. Soon, and even now - 7 years later, I NEEDED to get into the woods every chance I had. It doesn't have to be mountains - my comfort seems to start as soon as I can't hear cars or see "civilization stuff". My girlfriend doesn't understand why I only feel truly happy and free in the woods - usually alone. This need hasn't faded. If anything it's gotten stronger.
hmmmm...I've never been hooked on hiking. I've only done day hikes. am I not hooked because I haven't done an extended multi day hike? I have gotten hooked on running before. so maybe it's the same thing kind of. just have to do it long enough to be hooked
Just got home from a trail yesterday and got a hike with friends and the kid planed for August... spoke to my mother last night and told her I want to go and do the pct and she started crying ... she used to hike when being younger and always wanted to do the pct but never made it there and now she is to over 60 and has so bad health she can't get out anymore...
This vid is a few years old, so I hope you see this. Thank you. I am blind and didn’t even leave Texas until I was 32 when I had the opportunity to study for a few weeks in Spain back in the summer of 2007. Once I realized I was not as helpless as I thought I was, I ended up moving there for a year, then subsequently taking teaching jobs that have taken me to Iraq, China, and currently the uae. Our past 12 years have been a constant bout of “PTD”. Never really understood why. Last summer, I decided to hike solo across Estonia. While it was amazing, this past year has been absolute hell looking forward to taking the family on the trek this summer. Incidentally-it was Darwin, Dixie, and HikerInEstonia that gave me the confidence to set out on my own. Thanks for making my life even more miserable 😎.
This is really insightful stuff -- and something I wish more people talked about. I haven't hiked the AT, but I enjoy learning more about it and hope to do it someday. I think you're onto something regarding the post-trip letdown and have noticed feeling like that whenever I take a short vacation (preferably to do some hiking somewhere!) or even when I read a good book. The better the experience is, the more likely you'll experience a letdown when it's over. Hitting that wall can be more difficult than the experience itself. The only solution I've found thus far is exactly what you describe: get back out there and keep doing it. I like to have a second trip planned before I even leave for the first one. Similarly, I like to start reading a second book before I finish the first one. That approach keeps me engaged and always looking forward to something. It also forces me to reframe how I think of my life -- less as something with occasional thrills followed by monotonous stretches, and more as one long, never-ending journey.
This was a great post on post depression and not relating to people. Darwin articulates this very well, I am a 21 year Army veteran and service members experience the same things coming off of deployments and even getting out of their service. It is very hard for us to articulate the feelings and Darwin does an excellent job doing it. I turn 50 in 2 years, I have been retired from the Army for 8 years and I plan on doing the AT when I turn 50. My main struggle is being around people and this will give me that space to learn to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. I miss the brotherhood and sisterhood the Army provided and look forward to gaining a whole new appreciation for simple life and people and gaining new brothers and sisters along the way. Also I will be losing that 9-5 cubicle life which I will 100% not be sad about.
Darwin, I am SOOOOO happy that I found this video! I hiked the Camino de Santiago - 700 mi - in Northern Spain, 2014. I was on the trail for 6 weeks and though it wasn't as "rough" as "backwoods" backpacking, I did carry a pack, hiked an average of 15 mi/day through rolling alps, rural countryside, small village, dessert and big cities. Just as you described I was on a total "high", physically and mentally, walking all day long. I met so many wonderful people, stayed in unique albergues and hostels, ate all types of new and interesting foods. Each day was a new adventure on a new part of the trail. As the hike came to an end, I found myself getting depressed, even before it ended and then, when it did and I was on the plane flying home, it REALLY hit me! When I got home I talked about the Camino constantly - like I was obsessed with it - for about two years and then I realized I needed to focus on experiencing "Caminos" HERE, at home, right in my backyard! I just want YOU to know that you are RIGHT ON! The depression is REAL! I hope that you have been able to stay "above" the depression and find happiness and fulfillment in other experiences and pursuits! Keep up your great videos! I'm planning to purchase some of the items you have suggested to "build" my ultralight pack "set up"! My husband and I are returning to backpacking in Oregon and Washington - after a 20 year break, working and raising a family! :-)
as a veteran, I can relate to how satifying rucking up and tackling a long hike. I miss it all the time. being outside, living in the woods and sharing that adventure with my infantry brothers. I know it very different doing it in the civilian world, but there are similarities for sure. I think getting back out into the woods helps me with my own issues and I love it. Thank you for your videos. If you happen to meet any vets out there on the trail, give them a warm welcome and know that we are out there just like you, and experience the same theraputic experiences. Some of us have experienced some of the worst things this world has to offer, but many of us are out there to find ourselves again and try to sort things out in a sane environment. More and more I find that the sights and sounds of the modern world are like nails on a chalk board to me. Getting out into nature is the best medicine. Hope to see you out on the trail. Cheers.
I get it. Due to physical problems I've been unable to go on long trail hikes. However, that wanderlust has been satisfied by spending at least half the year traveling on small sailboats. It's like hiking at a good walking pace much of the time. My wife and I took a cab after a long time on the boat and it seemed crazy fast. We were doing 30 mph. 14 months ago we lost our boat in a shipwreck. We were lucky to kayak to a nearby island. Lost everything so we've been rebuilding ever since. I've gotten through the winter by watching sailing and hiking youtubes. Thanks for helping with that. We will be traveling soon. People who haven't lived free and easy don't understand.
Sounds like my 14 yr Army Life. I’ve been out for 4 years now and am getting into hiking because I miss the “Go”! love your stories! Stay on the move!!!
This is part of why I'm afraid to even do a week hike. I get a small amount of post trail depression from a longer day hike. I can't imagine how it would be after months
The way you talk about your experiences is so beautiful and inspiring! I honestly want to hike the AT after watching this video, despite the warnings about post trail depression. :D
Thank you LA Fresh Life! Just sharing how I feel. I love to read comments like yours because the reason I made this video was to inspire and connect with like minded people. There are so many negative comments that have come through this video, so it's always nice to see a Positive comment! Thanks for Watching! Hike On, Darwin
Last month I was part of a 40th anniversary reunion of AT hikers from 1978. Hiking the trail was a positively life-changing event for me and I look back at it as the smartest decision I ever made. It changed the course of my life and I met some great friends.
Love this man. Lots of real feels here in this. I grew up on 45 acres with 8 ponds and lots of adventure. I moved to the city as a teen and have always had a pull to the nature side. I am a huge critter person and have kept many species of reptiles and inverts as well as many fish. My family and I just made a move across the US to Nevada for my career, but also for our family to have a connection to nature with the mountains and desert. We promised ourselves and family that we would get out and do more with this move and we are! We are gearing up and doing hikes, not long thru hikes, and loving every minute of it! Found your channel and have been watching like crazy! Thank you for sharing all your hikes and your gear thoughts as well as the van vids! Your on the PCT right now so hope you see this when you have a signal. Stay safe, and hike on!
#4 at 6:44, that's how I feel most of the time. It is hard to explain the feeling of being on top of a mountain, being surrounded by sequoias/redwoods, or just seeing some of the most beautiful views in the world to someone who has never stepped on a trail. I currently live near the AT now and most people that I've met, who have lived here their entire lives, have never even heard of it. Same with the PCT when I was living in So Cal. What really breaks my heart is when folks tell me that they want to travel overseas to explore while they haven't even seen whats in their own backyards. Again, thanks for the videos. Good job. --JY
Totally agree JY , there is so much beautiful/amazing places to see here in the US. I'm awestruck when I hear that as well. Get out and Explore! Hike On, Darwin
Wow that explains a lot, I never thought of it that way. I have totally experienced the post trail blues, especially when I had to pull off the AZT after only 200 miles due to injury. That sucked, but I didn't know it was a common experience. Thank you Darwin for sharing your experiences with us thru these amazing videos. You are an inspiration!
I know where you're coming from Mark. I hike and do a lot of adventure still stuff to deal with the loss of the Air Force way of life......that was 35 years ago.
Have you heard about Warrior Hike (Warrior Expeditions?)? These are veterans who hike and help other veterans to deal with re-entry into "normal" life through hiking. I met a couple of them on the PCT around Castle Crags California a couple of years ago. Real nice guys.
I get it, watching you guys with your TH-cam videos really helps me deal with it. Everybody from you. Two girl in the woods,, hi Brooke, two corporals corner. All you guys helped me get through a very hard and depressing winter with a miserably wet spring. Thank you for what you do, what you share. It's cool to have someone who gets you.
Normal is just a cycle on the washing machine. Some folks create their own "normal". I had the same depression after returning from my motorcycle trip from Alabama to Alaska last year. Now planning for the AT to cure my itchy feet.
Playing Lord Huron - Meet me in the Woods after a hike is a fun way to dump yourself into a pit of depression. Great topic. I just did a 2 week hike, it was my first real hike/camp as an adult. Everything just feels wrong now. I remember having my bag full and going "I could just fuck off and live out of this bag and not deal with traffic or my mortgage.."
I've always just called it my addiction. I dont know if I would call it post trail depression since I've dealt with clinically diagnosed depresssion before and this is something completely different. It's a longing. Longing for independence, for absolutely no responsabilities apart from meeting your physical needs and walking. Longing for solitude. Longing for companionship with likeminded people. It makes you DO something. In german, we have a word that kind of describes it: "Fernweh". Hurting/longing for something far away. I have not done any long distance trails in the US, but this video (and similar ones I've been watching all evening) made me want to try out the AT or the PCT. I can only imagine how much more solitude you can get in north america compared to crowded europe. Thank you for sharing your story.
Well put! I would call it post adventure depression related to my own experiences. Enduro adventure riding, canoing, trail hiking, Euro trips with our RV. All these kind of things we do to escape the everyday life living makes my lungs breathe and my head washed and vitalized. Post adventure depression could hold half a week or two for me, however at the same time you are filled with impressions and happiness of what you have experienced. As you say, go out and do what you like more often is the medicine. I should do that alot more, day hiking is under rated. Thanks for sharing your experiences!
I am an "older" person. I worked, took only mini vacations that fit into the schedule, paid bills. Never made a lot of money, only enough to live had to mouth. If you live long enough, you're bound to have some kind of medical issue, your parents die, and you WISH you could go do something like this, but need to stay near a town where there are hospitals and pharmacies. If I were to foolishly try this now, what happens when you have a stroke or heart attack (trust me, is does happen) and need immediate care but you're miles and therefore hours away from help? I wish I had done something like this when I was able to! I figure that most people do this when they are BETWEEN jobs. But therein lies the rub...when you're strong no healthy enough, you are also typically chugging long in your career. Most jobs frown on extended leave of absence. It's like the old "I need a car to get to work, but without the job, how do I earn money to buy a car with?" And to the people who object to his feelings on re-joining the rat race, he isn't saying "Poor me, I have to go back to my cushy high paying job." What he is describing is "culture shock". This happens when we switch environments. It happens to people coming out of prison, to people coming out of a sensory deprivation tank, to people moving from one place to an extreme other. Ever seen a new person at work who keeps saying "At my old company, we did it THIS way..." and everyone gives them an eye-roll? It's because our hearts and minds are slow to embrace the present. All we can talk and think about is the experience we just came out of. Example: Young mothers talk about their kids ad nauseum. New neighbors talk about how weird it is to live here. People who have been in the military talk and think about how different civilian life is. People who go to movies talk about movies. And people who thru hike talk about....guess what? 😉 It's NOT rich white guy problems, it's a life experience which imprinted on him. He will get used to his normal (for him) way of life, but he has to settle in like the new employee. If you think about it, we ALL do this.
I've been where he's at mentally and emotionally. I'm sure many people have a version of it like you said. But I understand that one thing he does have on the trail is freedom. I have not done a thru-hike but I have been forced to move on from wonderful places due to the nature of my job. Didn't want to leave but had no choice time was up. It does hurt when you're dealing with a less than satisfying existence afterward. Having to re-enter the rat race after experience a life of freedom in the natural world would really suck. As for your other statements. We only have one shot in this world and have to decide what direction we are going to go. Hikers can be healthy and still run into a very bad situation medically. You could also be killed in a car crash on the way to the pharmacy. Don't limit yourself!
Read Rockefeller Medicine Men by E Richard Brown... Then perhaps you won't feel so obligated to stay near a hospital or pharmacy. And or at least watch the 1982 interview of Norman Dodd on tax exempt foundations, by the time you're done, you will see the entire world in a whole new way, I promise!
Haven't you heard of a personal EPIRB. It is a small distress beacon for when you need desperate medical or life saving assistance. Inexpensive and small, light weight to carry. Google EPIRB
@poolplayerbrian dropping dead on trail sounds just like what the doctor ordered. I'm 40 and heading out on the AT April of 2023. I figured I'll hike long trails until I drop dead, and happily at that. My family can bury me green and leave me there.
I've only section hike most of Massachusetts on the AT I spent weeks on end out there I'm planning my through hike of the AT for March 2022. Just coming off the trail after section hiking I feel the same way you do it's hard to connect with other people they don't understand the adventure and the struggle you went through except other hikers it's hard to connect it's hard to explain all the amazing things that you have seen and get someone to understand it even pictures don't show the full story. It's almost enough to make you want to cry. Post trail depression is most certainly real it's a very difficult thing.
I have the same issue, even though, I'm a weekend backpacker.... I load my pack all the time. I clean my gear and tweak the setup just to keep from thinking about not being on a trail...
Maybe your best video, that I have watched, so far. Greif and loss is real. Having an intense relationship/commitment with the AT (CDT, PCT, etc.) and feeling lost at the end, is normal human behavior. Thank you for addressing this so openly and honestly. You are your own best therapist. There is a book from the 80s that you might enjoy. It was written by William Glasser, "Positive Addiction." You have just done a great job of explaining its dynamics.
Good video. As a long distance paddler, this brings back memories of when a 6 month solo canoe trip I did came to an end and my re-entry into so-called "Normal" life. I can certainly relate.
Wow. OMG you are me. I never had anybody put it into words before. You nailed it. Exactly perfect. Thanks Darwin. Great to know and an awesome feeling to know i am not alone in my thoughts and feelings. This has made me very emotional to know that somebody else actually gets it. From the bottom of my heart THANK YOU!
When I finished the Camino de Santiago in 2015, I boarded a train to take me back to Madrid for my flight home. As i took my seat and looked out the window a profound sadness and loss came over me. Thank you for sharing your story/journey.
I can relate to this so much! In 2012/2013 I went on a 6 month sailing trip with 30 other people my age (15-17) and it is still the most amazing thing I've ever done. When we arrived in the harbor at home, I was definitely NOT ready to leave and be home again, and I just wanted to say hi to my family and get going again. I was very, very lucky that my sister was also on the same trip (on a different boat) the same year, because when I woke up the next morning in my bed at home, I just didn't know what to do... so I went to her room and we just lay in bed without really talking but just digesting it together. The next weeks were very weird... We were thrown back into high school life, and there were so many things to catch up on, I didn't get to work through all the things I had to work through before the summer holidays that year. It was hard to answer the question of 'how was it?' that everyone was asking because I mean... how the hell do I sum up these amazing 6 months right? It took me sooooo long to get over the 'depression' and to stop feeling like I was never gonna do anything ever again in my life that could compete with this experience, but ever since uni when I went on exchange to Korea in 2016 I realised that I actually COULD do something to get over this feeling of wanting to go back in time, back to when everything was amazing and I was living with 30 other people who are now, in a way, my extended family. That's when I decided to start seeking these kinds of experiences again, and keep moving forward and creating other moments in time that I could reminisce about... That's how I'm trying to live my life now :) Even though sometimes I still fall back into wanting to go back, I always know that something else exciting is on the horizon, however far it may be, it's going to be okay :) wow that was a long comment xd
Darwin, GREAT TOPIC!I think those of us that have already thru hiked a Trail can relate to this. I feel you on the lack of challenges that has inspired me to continue to test my own limits with some thru-hikes I have planned later this year. Totally agree on the conversation. It's hard to have conversations, even at work, that I can't somehow encompass what my experience and learnings were from the trail last year. The challenges one has to overcome to thru-hike requires a special skill set that is learned and developed on the Trail. Thru-hiking the A.T. would be on the top of my resume any day. I try and put myself in positions that I can use my experience to share and help others as you are doing on your channel. This helps me stay connected to the Trail and PTD.~Bigfoot
I haven't done a thru-hike... yet. I'm doing the AT in 2018. But I can relate to most of what you're saying already. I'm a bartender and feel the need to start conversation and play host in a way.... and most of the time it's hard to find things to talk about because I feel like I don't relate with most people. I often ask my guests what they do for fun when not working. I'm amazed by how many people have to think real hard about it. Most people I talk to just work, drink at the bar all day, and watch tv. I'm passionate about the outdoors (and all 100 of my hobbies) but to talk about them I feel is a drag for other people. you're right.... they just don't get it. I've always said, "working just to make ends meet is not living." Get out and explore, find a hobby, be passionate about something! Great video! thank you
Amanda Bess same thing here as a barista..everyone trying to keep up with the Joneses and shuttling there kids around to activities they don't wanna do.. I know someone who hasn't been out of his state in over a decade. Sad
Hey PeeWee! I only recently came across your channel and am only up to day 77. I have not commented on any of your videos, since I am so far behind on the videos of your hike and usually someone has already said what I was thinking. I am commenting now, because even though you have helped inspire me to consider thru hiking the AT, I searched for what it would be like, after finishing the trail, when I came across Darwin's video. I enjoyed your reply to Darwin, last Aug and am glad that you have followed through with your AT hike. Rooting for you to finish and I know that you are looking forward to the next phase of your life. I've really enjoyed your passion and honesty, throughout all of your videos. And as you've seen by the support from we, your subscribers, what you have to say is not a drag at all and we are always waiting for your next pearls of wisdom. As Darwin says, "Hike On"
Awesome video. I worked for the VA as a health care provider. The vets (WWII, Korea, Vietnam, Irag, Afghanistan) would come in and talk about their experience. Their feelings were "If you weren't there, you can't understand it." They would relate that when they came back, they tried to talk to people about it, but felt no one could possibly understand it, so they would kept their experience to themselves. Now...I'm not saying that thru-hiking is ANYWHERE near a combat experience, BUT, the brain is funny how it interprets possible life struggles. Maybe post thru-hiking is a form of PTSD. There's a guy down at REI who thru hiked the PCT. When I talk to him, I feel he really understands what I'm talking about. At this point, I don't talk to people about hiking...what's the point? I make videos, that's enjoyable. The only time I feel most at peace now is when I have a pack on, (yes, I just came back from a 6 mile hike with full pack weight just in the woods by my house). I don't know why, it just seems to make me feel better. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Bart
As a veteran and a user of the V.A. I understand this feeling or attitude because I somewhat share it. Nevertheless, no man is an island unto himself (so goes the famous poem) and you can try to build bridges, that is emotional bridges to people to communicate with them. If they refuse to cooperate you can’t, of course.
Hi Darwin, thanks for making the Post Trail Depression video. So much of what you said(everything) I agree with and have experienced. I'm 58 and haven't thru-hiked the PCT yet, but my son and I do some distance hiking every summer and fall. Usually 3-4 weeks on trail. I talk about it at every social, sports, family gathering. I can't not talk about it. It often feels empty as I get blank stares or looks of amazement. I can talk to my son or the occasional backpacker that I run into, but very few do as much as we do. My wife loves day hiking, but it always felt shallow until I decided to carry my pack fully loaded on the day hikes. The day hikes finally feel like I'm home! I'm going to be making my own videos and I watch and read as much as I can. It helps with the feeling of being isolated from society. Thank you again! Michael Takatsuno(Glider)
Thank you for sharing your experience/perspective on this; I have very much the same problem and I'm sorry for all those going through this sense of depression in life. If you are going through the issues discussed, please just spare a few minutes to read through my comment as I have my own advice I'd like to share -- even if it doesn't end up helping you it's worth a try, right? Even if you already know/agree with what I suggest, it might just help to read it. Firstly I would say it's not just Post-Trail Depression that you describe, but that feeling that you constantly need to be challenging yourself and experiencing life's beauty, and when you don't satisfy that criteria in your day-to-day life you start to lose your spirit and feel like a zombie. And of course in fast-paced societies this criteria is seldom met because daily life is too draining for any human being to keep up with. My advice to everyone going through this is to make a habit of reading books more often and to work on developing your imaginative skills at EVERY moment that you get, even if it's just ten minutes whilst on the toilet (and don't just read what's easy all the time - really explore ideas in philosophy, psychology, science, maths, history, art...). You can travel worlds in your own mind without going anywhere. You can experience the challenges of mental paradox, explore every kind of idea and detail of life... There is as much --if not more-- beauty in the mental world as in the physical. There are an infinite number of ways to see any space or situation; if you are stuck in one place, just try to focus your mind to move through that space and see it from a different perspective. The world around you is rich with variety and you just have to look closer, rather than keep looking away (or literally walking away). Don't get me wrong: walking away and experiencing all the different sensations of raw life is absolutely incredible (I believe it is how we are meant to exist to achieve true happiness), and it gives you more time to think and hence develop your imagination... But of course, as people rightly point out, our world doesn't make it possible to always be doing that. Hence, in between, try to explore other ways to satisfy your spirit's yearning for challenge and stimulation, otherwise you can risk becoming addicted to an unsustainable and unbalanced way of life that is ultimately unhealthy for you (by virtue of its being unsustainable and not meeting all of your requirements as a human being). Also remember that life is as much about love and development of our moral character as it is about physical/mental challenge and exploration. We can risk becoming selfish if we focus all the time on the latter things (and sometimes we need to be selfish for our health, but other times we cross over into being just unhealthily selfish-- everything has a fine balance). Many things that are really worthwhile require commitment (I try to drum that into my head every day, as I really struggle with commitment even though I know this fact is true! Committing to things is my own big challenge which I believe holds its own kind of beauty at the end and along the way.) I always ask myself - what would I do if I were held up in a room for an indefinite amount of time, isolated from everyone and everything? How would I survive? The only way I can imagine surviving is by being content with my own mind; realising that every possible vision, realisation, idea, concept...already exists within the mind. That you can be content with nothing but that (and if you still die, you die at peace). I even ask myself, what would I do if I lived in my utopia, where society is exactly as I dream it to be... would I then find the contentment I look for and desire to have in this currently fucked-up world? I feel I can only truly find that contentment by being content with my mind -- wherever I am, whatever I'm doing -- by being happy with who I am in myself, and finding entertainment and joy in the pureness of ideas, regardless of the external world... Again, don't get me wrong, I know all of the above is a fucking challenge. But the whole point is that it's the challenge of life that we all face... and it is made ever-harder because in this modern day we are thrown every kind of stimuli to process, and it's harder to just find the stillness and tranquility that we need to really even function.... Point is, don't just see a hike as a challenge but see each day, each moment, as a challenge. ...a challenge to be positive, to try things differently, to see something in a different way, to try facing some stupid fear and embracing your inner strength... The more that you do all of that the more that you start to find that balance you need to fit in and feel more at peace in the world, even being around those who at first seem so different from you and are so hard to connect with. Even when I go through times of depression, and find it hard to feel excited by any idea at all that my brain fathoms, I know that the awareness of all of the above gets me out of it eventually -- because I am reminded that life is infinitely stimulating and exciting if only you have the right frame of mind, as well as have the hope that over time that right mind will come again, even if just on and off. You just have to have patience and keep trying to push yourself to try and do new things (not just hiking), wherever you are, whatever your situation, even if you don't have money or much time at all. If you have the persistence and patience and belief that there is more to EVERYTHING than you at first see, then you will pull through times of depression and become a well-balanced and well-rounded individual who grows stronger by the day. Source: I've had depression on and off for years and it's always nature, ideas and love that pull me through (ideally a combo of all 3). PS. Look, I just want to add as a final note that I'm not trying to preach - I'm not perfect either and there is no cure for being human. A lot of life is just about enduring shit. In that sense, all of the above is easier said than done I guess, but seriously the above perspective is the only thing that saves me, and I think it's a perspective that will help you if you are feeling trapped. Just have faith in it and keep on keeping on:) Good luck everyone.
I'm 25, divorced, and kind of at a weird point in my life. I never went to college and worked really hard to get to where I am in regards to my career; however, now that I've reached my professional goal.. I don't feel nearly as much accomplishment as I thought I would. Since my divorce, I have been doing a lot of soul searching and I've realized that the generally vacant feeling I have in my gut on any given day is likely my dissatisfaction with living the life society tells me I'm supposed to. I have decided to save up as much money as I can over the next year, sell all of my belongings and set out to hike the AT. It's my reset button. I've struggled with depression my whole life, so thank you for posting this because now I can at least mentally prepare for the aftermath of my thru hike. Thank You!
Yes Darwin I have depression every day because my life is not complete, I know that I need to find something new and maybe by watching more of your videos I can accomplish that. thank you for your time and your journeys .
I did a 6 day hike last summer, 72 miles and afterwards was really depressed for the next week or so...all i did was think about the trail. You get into a routine, and yeah its mentally and physically challenging, but really fun and rewarding. Now I just have this need to be on a trail out in the woods...so i can only imagine 6 months on the trail...shit lol. Now I just wish I was fired or laid off because I have the money saved to hike the AT...or PCT....
Darwin, that is the kind of comment that makes a lot of people dismiss you outright. It's nonsense. We aren't "meant" for anything. We simply exist out of a pure evolutionary process. With a trail name like Darwin, it would seem that you should know that already. We exist however each of us choose to exist. Without all the "concrete jungle" gear, how many hikers you think would attempt the trail?
This was so interesting! Thank you for sharing. I was shocked to read some of the comments, it's ridiculous, I don't even think they deserve a response. Some people just have such miserable lives they feel the need to make themselves company. Keep doing you!
This is what it feels like coming back from a deployment. You return to a life of people that don’t get you and you don’t feel like you can fit back in because you’ve changed.
I feel like I can definitely relate. Though I have only been on short wild camps and expeds, I can feel this sense of needing to escape back into nature when I am numb and I guess part of that manifests as post trail depression. Thank you for making that video, I understand it so much more now.
I can relate. I am an accountant and quit a good job (age 49) in 2010 to bicycle around the world. I spent 5 years away, 3 years biking solo through 40 countries around the world, another year living in Thailand and a year volunteering at an orphanage in the Philippines. I am now back in Canada working as a tax accountant. I did it because I didn't want to wait until 65, not knowing if I would be able to physically go or if I would even be alive. If you have a strong desire to do something and have the ability (in terms of money and health) then you should do what you desire. We only get 1 chance at life so don't criticize anyone who wants a change and follows through. If you can't do it, fine but no need to condemn others who can.
Amen. All I want to do is grow my own crops and thru hike. It makes me sick that to successfully farm is impossible to do myself. Others either have to agree or it's unachievable for one person. Thru hiking it is because I won't stick around, living a life I don't want, so others can choose to actively oppose how I want to live. If I get to live without, so do they. And I'm gone.
Long-distance hiking has a way of simplifying life, which I find very gratifying. In my regular life, especially in terms of my work, plans are often made complicated and convoluted due to the complexities of business/government, and from the injection of opinion from so many interested parties. Making measurable progress can be agonizingly slow and quite frustrating. On a long-distance hike, I find it's the opposite. You make your own decisions, you measure progress by your own scale (distance, views, smiles, whatever). It's an enriching experience in almost every way, in spite of the discomforts of primitive living. When I returned from my long hike on the AT some years ago, I was at first happy to be back in life of convenience. I had missed pizza-on-demand, and movies, and such. But more and more I found myself wanting to be back out there. It would strike me at odd times. For instance, I was walking from the office to my car at the end of a workday, and something in the air made me feel an actual physical pang -- like grief, I think. Once you have done it, it's no good trying to explain it to someone who hasn't.
Got it! When you get home all you think about is analyzing the hike you were just on and start planning and want to get back out on the next hike. Thanks, I’m not the only one like this!!!!
Yo I love your video!! this is so inspiring. I really want to hike Appalachian trail and I will next year. I can definitely see how it's hard for you when you come back. Please don't take to heart the people who cant understand what you mean because they haven't done it. Keep it up, you definitely inspired me. 😀
I am Starting a flip flop thru-hike from harpers ferry tomorrow. Can't sleep at all, I am so excited. Thank you for all your videos. You and other channels like this are one of the main reasons I am going on this Journey. THANK YOU!
I did my first 4 day trip last summer and I've been wanting to go back everyday but college responsibilities are forcing me to wait till summer break. I've done day hikes but at the end of the day I just don't want to get back in the car and it's been a struggle to convince my friends to join me. It's funny though b/c on the trail I've gotten use to having full on conversations with my dog.... sometimes on our walks...
I'm prepping for my pinhoti hike after my friend and I finish the Georgia portion of the AT. Your videos have really really help my post trail depression. Thank you!!
There is something so healing and energizing when you get away from manmade cities and you are out in nature and going at the pace of life, of your body, of the earth (the rivers and the terrain and the weather, etc) and the natural elements all around you and not any other clock than the sun. When I come back from that, I'm on a week long high. But I know I have to start planning the next one. Just thinking about the next one keeps me going. We were made for the earth and the earth for us. We need to be connected to it. Thanks for posting your videos. Always enjoy them. Glad they've been healing for you too.
This is an excellent video and oh so true. I know some guys who got depressed trying to "plug" back in to their old lives. I am retired and live in the country, and cannot bear rush hour traffic any more...So, yeah.....you are totally "right on" with what you say. Thanks so much for taking the time to make this video...it opened up a great new perspective and understanding! Bless ya !
Living close to the trail is awesome. We are blessed. We are straddling the fence. It's a nice compromise , the way I see it. Yet even so, do you know that the majority of people who live by the trail never hike it? Not even for a few hours on the weekend. Unbelievable!!!!
Thanks for the insight. The thing that gets me is when I have hiked through an area that both I & my late wife had hiked years ago. I experience an empty, heavy feeling in my heart knowing we will never hike it together again. I am planning to hike the AT in 2023 for the first time. I buried Judith in a US national cemetery. Her side of the marble stone reads: "You are in my heart forever."
I feel like it prob hits home for a lot of folks. A lot of people don't talk about it. Wanted to make it for that reason... Thanks for Watching! Hike On, Darwin
never hiked the AT. had planned it.. had the money, nothing tying me down here, was hiking 3 days week for months getting into shape, got the gear I wanted and could afford(still alil on the heavy side). but then life happened. car broke had to get a new one. funds went to that. having a car payment made me stay.. then I got in school again.. then a career. still hiked and lived in the woods as much as I possibly could. now I'm engaged with a baby on the way. in school for another certification. and rarely get out on a trail. I may not have experienced a thru hike, but that feeling of homesick is there. waking up and walking outside on a brisk morning sends memories cascading in my brain of stepping out of the dew covered tent, hopping out of a hammock, the roar of pocket rocket with a steaming pot. I smile while I think of home. then comes the sigh, feelings of regret not hitting the AT when I had the chance. not knowing if I ever will.... hiking backpacking camping,.. it's an experience that is hard for me to explain. I can be very detailed describing the events or views, meals, sounds, smells...but the feeling and connection is unexplainable. something one can only understand from experiencing it for themselves.
Absolutely right on.....the blank stares I received after talking with regular people about trail adventures (near-bear attacks, a naked old hiker wearing only a wizard's cap and carrying a staff (!) made me feel hollow in the real world. I've resolved never to bring trail adventures up with people who've never packed. Alluding to the Air Force gentleman's comments below, I think I understand better why service vets rarely bring their experiences.
While I am a hiker wannabe right now. I'm gathering equipment and training for a thru hike. I had an experience of culture shock like you describe in my life. I became ill, so ill that I no longer was able to walk, feed myself, and other personal things. So I found myself in a hospital on the rehab ward for weeks and weeks on end with no "ending in sight". Once I was released from this controlled, slow pace, and clinical environment it was a shock... and anxiety riddled out of control feeling shock. Just the normal swarm of home with 2 kids and a wife was overwhelming. Now imagine my first dinner out. So while I don't know the exact shock you explain, I think I can relate on how it may feel. I appreciate your thoughts and your coping mechanisms you shared. The fact you acknowledge this phenomena is brave and I say bravo, for whatever that is worth. Thank You!
You’re an amazing person amigo. Your talk about depression really hit home for me. I would surf, hike, camp, and go spelunking while growing up in Southern California. I’ve lived in Beijing China nearly 20 years now and just realized I’ve been depressed most of the time...
Exactly how I feel since 2012....every day. Have watched your video since you started and you explain so well and I love your calm voice. This is maybe one of the most important topics. Thank you for all your advices and keep on making these videos.
While I get the idea of criticizing the American consumerist lifestyle as some are doing in the comments, I do wonder about a few things....Many of us out here are really struggling just to put food on our tables and have not accumulated huge debt. We are just trapped in trying to survive. I would guess that most people who are enjoying these adventurous lifestyles have some source of $ that the average joe like myself does not have. Perhaps a trust fund or possibly some sort of employment that creates a load of $ in a short time ?Average working class people certainly cannot just pick up and leave jobs for endless adventure. In the end the big mystery is always how folks can fund all the good times. Would really enjoy hearing a frank and open discussion on how you are able to drop everything and go.
Same thing happens when you drop everything and travel on a shoestring. I found that it was much cheaper living by traveling internationally, living in hostels, sleeping over night on buses or trains. To answer your question about how it's done, I think you're right . . . It's easier when there are resources or a bank account but it's not impossible if you aren't flush with money. . I got a job teaching English overseas. Before I left for that job I was just making ends meet here- nothing in savings, a little bit of credit card debt, just sort of sloshing through life feeling a bit uninspired. I do have a college degree which was needed for the program I went on. They paid my way over, gave me a bit of a housing stipend plus I earned a salary. Didn't feel the need to buy new clothes or decorate my apartment while overseas and I owned a super cheap car and saved about 11,000.00 in two years. Then spent about a year backpacking. Without rent, car payment, bills, it was a very cheap way of living. But like coming off the trail, you do have re-entry shock, or reverse culture shock some call it and it is a struggle to relate to people and to go back to a normal job. It was about 18 years ago that I did this. And I have had "normal" jobs since returning but also continue to do a lot of traveling.
Very likely the "leisure class adventurers" have somehow made a pile of money by exploiting others in this system. They live like kings on the hard labor of others. This fellow in the video says he works but provides no details so I am a bit skeptical given all his free time.
I don't think it takes being a trust funder or even having much money to do a thru-hike. One thing a lot of folks have in common (but definitely not all) is they are YOUNG. They haven't piled up responsibilities and debt. Packing up for 4-6 months and checking out is a lot easier without a house or kids or other responsibilities (like taking care of a sick family member). Some folks also just prioritize this, live for it. They work only long enough to save up for the next adventure. They probably aren't worrying about stockpiling for retirement or creating a nest egg. It really doesn't take much money to do these trips -- if you are willing to make concessions and not get stuck in the usual entrapments. They're not necessarily privileged...they just made very different choices. Honestly, I'm jealous. Wishing I'd taken the time to do a thru-hike when I was younger...before everything just happened.
1st off let me say, you have it all wrong. I started working when I was 15 years old, was out on my own when I was 18 with a full-time & part-time job paying for everything I had. When I was 21 i decided to get married, buy a house & learn a Trade. I became a machinist & tool maker by trade. After owning a house for 6 years & working since I was 15, my wife & I decided to simplify our lives. We saved up a lot of money over the years, sold our house, 95% of the things we owned & decided to travel. When we spend what we have saved we have a small nest egg, we stop traveling, put down roots somewhere else for a while, work full-time, live a basic lifestyle, save as much money as possible, then take off again. It's not that hard Sir. There is no "Trust Fund", I'm not "Exploiting Others". I simply work, save money, & chose to live my life as I see fit. It's all about what you want in life. I find it so funny/irritating that people think that "people like me" use the system, or have a stock pile of money. I work a simple (just above minimum wage) job, own everything that I have, buy nothing I don't need, & choose to travel in my free time. Simplify you life & find out for yourself what possibilities will unfold for you. Hike On, Darwin
After having heard about about the Appalachian Trail back in 1986 while attending Bloomington North (Indiana :) ), I started making plans to hike it. I bought boots, a pack, a stove...and then joined the Army for a bit, got married, had kids, and got a teaching career. My dream fell by the wayside.... ....until this year. Turning 50 in January made me realize that I just needed to get to the AT and try...even for just awhile. My husband and I made plans, bought gear, watched your videos and others (Dixie, Bigfoot, Evan...), and dehydrated food. We practice hiked with packs around southern Indiana, and finally ventured down to Georgia when our schedule finally allowed- July 8th of this year. Between 95* heat and 90% humidity, me taking the wrong boots, him trying to quit smoking at the same time, and both of us being older than we wanted to admit, our two-week 100+ mile planned adventure turned into a four-day 26 mile one. We came home and within three days was back out backpacking in Morgan-Monroe State Forest for a 10 mile loop. No more than that small amount of hiking still led to some post-trail depression on my part and me exhibiting some of these same behaviors you described. Thanks for talking about it, and talking about ways to deal with it. My plans at this point is to keep chipping away at the AT until I finish the whole thing, hopefully by writing a grant to be able to take off some time to hike for a few months straight. My husband’s plans? Hiking bits of it with me occasionally and “holding down the fort” while I am gone. THIS dream I am not ready to give up on yet. Thanks for helping to inspire us fellow Hoosiers to really go and hike on such a cool trail. It was worth it.
Aww, it's a little unfair to assume that noone you tell your stories to understands or cares just because they "weren't there". Either you're talking to complete assholes, or you've got unrealistic expectations of your audience and what their reactions should be like ... give them a little credit. Being in the rat race doesn't mean they can't appreciate a good story! Another point on human interaction is to also be open to talking about other things sometimes with people. We can't just be like the crazy cat lady who only ever tells stories of Mr.Mittens and Miss Fluffles. It's feeding an obsession if we only surround ourselves with like-minded people who share our obsessions. That's not what life's about. Sometimes the solution is in our own mindset: being grateful for life, and nature, and even that boring job and house. It can be hard, but i really believe gratitude is the first step in contentment.
Sonnenblume22 Thank you, thank you, thank you! For your excellent comment! You have definitely put me in a better mind set!!! And l have been learning about the attitude of gratitude : ) please keep
Just like another comment from a gentleman who after being in the Air Force took a year or so to readjust to "normal" life. I have the same emotional trauma. Every weekend I have to put a full backpack on and just hike; even if it's just a couple of miles. Most of my greatest trips were in Europe, the Middle East and North Africa. The end of each trip meant going back to a routine. However, had it not been for Uncle Sam sending me around the world I would not have all of the incredible experiences under my belt. When I am out on a trail it helps me to re-live past experiences and enjoy new ones. Great video, Darwin!
This sounds very similar to what I experienced after living in other parts of the world for awhile and then coming back to my home country. It sounds a lot like reverse culture shock.
I was on the A.T. in 2015, I probably saw you guys, I'm a retired U.S Army Grunt and I can tell you the feeling never goes away, There are ways to disconnect yet be connected to the world, we live on 21 acres alone and don't carry a cell phone ,but as you see still block in time for limited computer communication., God bless you hope to see you in the Bush.
Hey Darwin... Wanted you to know that Early_Riser_71 just gave you and this particular video a shout out on one of his recent thru hike video. Great video. Love the channel
I like your attitude and I can feel what you're saying. I went on a long solo hike/adventure in 1992 when I got out of the military. I spent about thirty days alone in the wilderness in the Appalachian mountains with the crappiest gear I could afford at that time. My friends thought I was nuts for doing this, but what I discovered was that my life was completely nuts before I went on this adventure of 30 days of solitude, hiking and exploring. What I really discovered was myself! It really helped put things into perspective. I've been on quite a few long hikes since that time, but this year is going to be the biggest for me. I'll be hiking a large section of the NCT (Michigan, Wisconsin, N Dakota). If all goes well (and maybe if it doesn't) I'll probably attempt a thru hike of the AT next year. So many people never learn to slow down and look around and enjoy the ride and they wonder why life passes them by so quickly. Most people get caught up in the money trap and think that they need things that they really don't.
You need a hobby. Happiness comes from within. No matter where you go, you are there. You can not escape yourself. And you will always be surrounded by haters. Happiness comes from within.
Hey Darwin. Really like this video. I'm not a thru-hiker but I am an "Outdoors" person. I grew up on a small to medium size farm where I had unlimited and exclusive access to 500 acres of rolling hills, grasslands and forest. For several years we had cattle and would walk the trails they made. Occasionally I'd find a deer trail and follow it for a bit (a true nature trail). I left the farm when I was in my 20's and now 30 years later my love for the outdoors (and the farm) is as strong as it was when I was a kid. Keep on hiking and enjoy life.
Thanks so much for your honesty in this video. I did 1800 miles on the AT in `17. It wasn't a complete thru-hike in technical terms but dam it was enough. The trail changed me inside and out. I don't want to complete the miles I missed. Id rather do the whole dam thing again. And hopefully someday I will. This whole year I've been depressed. But even handing out ice-cold Gatorade literally on the trail, offering rides, and other trail magic, this year, near where I live has been amazing. I was able to relive the emotions from the year before. I've learned so much about myself through this whole processes too and have become a much stronger person for it. Thanks for all your insight. Justin.
it's self-deprecating to say that no one would understand you. I'm not a Backpacker but I completely understand the feeling of being in a group of like-minded people for a long enough time that going back to society is completely depressing. it's called a music festival.
I think that we are all pack animals. When we are away from our "Pack" for too long we feel out of place. I guess that's what I meant when I said that in the video. It's amazing how many people on here took it in a negative "screw normal people" sorta way. I'm glad I have like minded people in the comments that get it. Thanks for Watching SiJaeJee! Hike On, Darwin
there are tons of people out there who would be emphathetic. there are whole festivals called "decompression" after burning man. just to help reintegrate into shitty society.
There is something magical in the mountains and trails that makes me want to keep hiking until the end of my life. It is so hard to explain in words, a feeling only hikers can understand.
I go hiking almost every weekend but have never done a thru hike.. Yet. I love your videos because it let's me experience a through hike even though I ha e to been. I get post trail depression even from my short weekend trips. I'm always planning the next trip and my girlfriend is the only one I can share it with because she's always with me. Keep em coming! It's therapy for all!
I think that Americans don't know what to appreciate. So many people living in poverty in other countries that live as if they were hiking all the time know how to appreciate the boring secure life of the United States.
So people should feel bad because they live in a secure nation? We here in the U.S. take the least amount of time off from work than most developed nations. You can find anything , in any life, that is not as bad as anothers life. Does that mean that person is ungrateful? Your logic is a bit silly.
Haiden I never said anything about feeling bad. I said that we should appreciate our way of life. It is a privilege not a burden. Of course being in touch with nature is a great thing, but we should not be disdainful about our privileges.
Just found your video. I thought it was odd I felt down after my recent hiking trip in Arizona. I didn’t know it’s an actual thing. I certainly miss the solitude, views, and that feeling you get as you reach the summit. Thank you.
So I grew up in a family of French n Indian War reenactors. From 2yrs old, I spent my summers, and even winters, living that way. Everytime I step back into society I fall into all of these issues. After more than 30yrs, it causes a rollercoaster in my life. Society lacks point when you're used to survival mode. Thank you. Great video. Very truthful
You sounded reasonable at first, but then I realised you really have a problem, wich "normal people" don`t. The problem sounds like you are too interested in talking about yourself insted of "normal things" and listening to other people and get your mind on other things in life than your hobby. People get tired listening til you saying "this one time, at band camp" or "this one time, at the AT", and that may be the reason why you have problems connecting to "normal people" and living in the moment where you are. People all over the world have truly great experiences and moments, but have no problems to have a normal conversation with other human beings without constantly mentioning their "one time, at band camp". What is "normal" to you? "Normal" might be a LOT more, than what you think of as "normal". Sorry for the criticism. Other part of what you said in the video sound much more reasonable.
re a - I guess my point is that when Darwin is hiking, "normal people" experience "boring/normal things" like having their first child or taking him/her to the first day og school. I don't think any experince on the trail can even compare to that. I don't have any doubt that the AT is an amazing experience, but Darwin does not seem to be able to enjoy "everyday magic", all the great things happening in a "normal life".
Thank you for your honesty and experiences. My brother 'Walking Stick' on the AT in the 1980's did not recover from the post depression, although he connected with nature so much. He has a shelter named for him on the AT in the Berkshires. Again thank you for making your videos on hiking and equipment. I only recently discovered your channel. Peace.
this is why i became a full time backpacking and canoe guide. the money may not be as good as my old job but everyday i get paid to do what i love most. the wilderness never gets old
God you're so lucky🙌🏻
Nice! Are you taking job applications? 😉 please...
You've figured out the key to happiness! Who cares about all of the materialistic materials that everyone works so hard for. We don't take it with us when we die! Live happy and forget about society! That's what I've been doing for the last 6 years and I feel so much better!
I have an extensive background in wilderness and backcountry trails, where do I start to become a full time guide? I imagine talking to folks at NPS would be a good start.
A thru-hike is a lot closer to the life humans are designed for than 9 to 5 in a cubicle.
The man that invented the original cubicle in the 70s said he was so sickened by what corporate America had done to his invention before he had died. It was never meant to be just a way to shove more workers into smaller spaces.
@@SoulDevoured , what was it designed to do?
Good question, curious as well :^)
@@EmilKamppp It was designed to give workers privacy as well as mobility. It was supposed to be like a mini office people could slip into and out of easily. The original trifold piece was supposed to have a wall to the back and two narrow slits functioning as doorways.
As you would imagine the modern cubicle doesn't offer much privacy and doesn't feel like a mini office at all. It feels like what it is, a desk in rows of desks with little walls on top.
SoulDevoured Yeah, that’s how mine is. My coworkers will have meetings over the phone and I can hear the whole conversation as I’m trying to work.
After growing up in a house with a sick parent from age 6-21 and not being able to do many(really almost none) trips, I went on a roadtrip from cape cod MA to yellowstone park 9 months ago for almost a month, and my entire perception of life has changed. Ive stopped spending all my extra money on dumb shit, and have accumulated and adjusted to using a lot of my backpacking/camping gear. I cant understand how everyone lives a normal 9-5 and is comfortable with it. Glad I found your videos! Keep on keepin on man.
I know this video has been around for some years, but I just found it and it spoke to me more than most. I can relate well to this depression. While I have backpacked, I don't consider myself a backpacker. I travel by bicycle, fully loaded, following my own route, and often alone. This past summer I completed a solo journey across the continent, from the Atlantic to the Pacific, partly out of a need for adventure and partly to cope with a life event which left me in emotional turmoil. My plan was to keep riding until it became mundane and then call it quits. It never became mundane and I never called it quits. Each day was an adventure, each sunrise a promise, each evening a reward. Once I dipped my wheel in the Pacific, I suddenly felt alone, melancholy, lost. I no longer felt a sense of purpose. I cope better now, but the depression lingers. I never speak of my journey to anyone because they cannot relate and I don't want to be a bore.
Thanks for these videos. They will be my inspiration while I seek my next adventure.
You’re not alone! I just completed my first bike tour from Oregon to Virginia and coming back has been a challenge. It’s honestly hard to admit that sometimes. But we’ll get through it!
Nature is an antidepressant for me, but once I'm off of it...
Lucy stinson I feel you
Lucy stinson the trail is what I like. Getting the road and just walk. I don't really like setting camp, I just wanna walk. (not in the US yet, but I hope atone point to hike the AT)
Lucy stinson
Many prefer to be prozactive
Same here bro. I cannot wait to get back in June.
Lucy stinson nature is my antidepressant!
This made me cry because I feel EXACTLY the same and have been dealing with this stuff alone for years. None of my friends understand because it's not their thing and I hike alone. I feel very lost without the mountains. Thank you for being an actual human that gets it. I don't understand most humans anymore than they understand me!
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What you are describing is EXACTLY how I felt when I came back to civilization after long term travel. I travelled for 5 years around the world, never coming home. When I returned, people were mildly interested in where I had been but couldn't relate to my experiences. Not only that but they became disinterested after me talking about it for any length of time, they just didn't care about the details. The travel changed me as a person, made me better, changed my perspective but.... it haunted me for years and years. I would think about it daily, I could hear it calling me to come back. It has been a long time now since I have been back, 13 years, the itch is gone but I still think about it often.
I used to backpack quite a bit. Now, I'm in my 70's. About 5 years ago, the distance I could do over relatively easy terrain dropped down to only 5-10 miles per day due to joint pain. I gave up. I was pretty (very) depressed. I've found that traveling in my 4x4 with my small rugged camper and going out far into the backcountry (15-20 miles off paved roads and "boondocking" for a couple of weeks satisfies my needs. Now I feel like I'm "addicted" to camping out in the middle of no where with my dog. I have found peace and contentment. When I return to my sticks and bricks home, I cannot wait to go out again.
All of this is SO TRUE! 16 years after my AT journey, I am still depressed, can't connect with others unless they are hikers that have had similar experiences, and feel that I am a ruined woman...disdainful of society and its rules...
Glad to hear yet another person connecting with the message I was trying to get across in this video. So many negative comments from people who don't understand on here. I guess we fear what we don't understand. Thanks for Watching Susan!
Hike On,
Darwin
I just watched your vid because I've been saying the trail ruined my life for the past 18 months since I completed my thru hike. Almost verbatim, those are words I have said over and over. As far AS I'm concerned you hit the nail on the head. I was 62 when I finally committed to a thru hike. When I returned I sold my tavern and most of my construction equipment.I'm two hundred miles into my flip flop hike now and could not be happier. Good luck on your future endeavors. "Life is not measured by how much you have, rather by how little you need to be happy."
you described PTSD from war but you make it make more sense than doctors do we all feel alone.. thank you brother
Couldn't put it any better. I spent a little over 2 months living in the bush in a wikiup and tipi. I fished and hunted for most of my food, isolated in northern Ontario. Never felt that good in my life. Almost ruined me when I came back home. I felt more alone surrounded by family and friends than when I was actually alone in the wilderness. Thanks for sharing this, it's not something that is often talked about. All the best brother.
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I did the AT in 2010. At first I was glad to be done with it - finally some rest and no mountains to get over for the next resupply. Soon, and even now - 7 years later, I NEEDED to get into the woods every chance I had. It doesn't have to be mountains - my comfort seems to start as soon as I can't hear cars or see "civilization stuff". My girlfriend doesn't understand why I only feel truly happy and free in the woods - usually alone. This need hasn't faded. If anything it's gotten stronger.
I'm Hermit on the trail. I was on Blood Mt. for the first big storm. Smokies made me hate snow for life. Started March 3.
hmmmm...I've never been hooked on hiking. I've only done day hikes. am I not hooked because I haven't done an extended multi day hike? I have gotten hooked on running before. so maybe it's the same thing kind of. just have to do it long enough to be hooked
Dennis Price not the same thing as ruining at all. Try at least 4 day 50-70km hike and you'll be hooked up
I feel the same way about nature. It is most definitely an addiction. I NEED IT.
yikes! What a scary thing to happen on the trail. How did you get the energy to pack and hike with an injured eye!
Just got home from a trail yesterday and got a hike with friends and the kid planed for August... spoke to my mother last night and told her I want to go and do the pct and she started crying ... she used to hike when being younger and always wanted to do the pct but never made it there and now she is to over 60 and has so bad health she can't get out anymore...
And so many people spend their whole lives working and die before getting to enjoy retirement at all. Not me, not ever.
This vid is a few years old, so I hope you see this. Thank you. I am blind and didn’t even leave Texas until I was 32 when I had the opportunity to study for a few weeks in Spain back in the summer of 2007. Once I realized I was not as helpless as I thought I was, I ended up moving there for a year, then subsequently taking teaching jobs that have taken me to Iraq, China, and currently the uae. Our past 12 years have been a constant bout of “PTD”. Never really understood why.
Last summer, I decided to hike solo across Estonia. While it was amazing, this past year has been absolute hell looking forward to taking the family on the trek this summer.
Incidentally-it was Darwin, Dixie, and HikerInEstonia that gave me the confidence to set out on my own. Thanks for making my life even more miserable 😎.
😂😂
This is really insightful stuff -- and something I wish more people talked about. I haven't hiked the AT, but I enjoy learning more about it and hope to do it someday. I think you're onto something regarding the post-trip letdown and have noticed feeling like that whenever I take a short vacation (preferably to do some hiking somewhere!) or even when I read a good book. The better the experience is, the more likely you'll experience a letdown when it's over. Hitting that wall can be more difficult than the experience itself.
The only solution I've found thus far is exactly what you describe: get back out there and keep doing it. I like to have a second trip planned before I even leave for the first one. Similarly, I like to start reading a second book before I finish the first one. That approach keeps me engaged and always looking forward to something. It also forces me to reframe how I think of my life -- less as something with occasional thrills followed by monotonous stretches, and more as one long, never-ending journey.
This was a great post on post depression and not relating to people. Darwin articulates this very well, I am a 21 year Army veteran and service members experience the same things coming off of deployments and even getting out of their service. It is very hard for us to articulate the feelings and Darwin does an excellent job doing it. I turn 50 in 2 years, I have been retired from the Army for 8 years and I plan on doing the AT when I turn 50. My main struggle is being around people and this will give me that space to learn to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. I miss the brotherhood and sisterhood the Army provided and look forward to gaining a whole new appreciation for simple life and people and gaining new brothers and sisters along the way. Also I will be losing that 9-5 cubicle life which I will 100% not be sad about.
Darwin, I am SOOOOO happy that I found this video! I hiked the Camino de Santiago - 700 mi - in Northern Spain, 2014. I was on the trail for 6 weeks and though it wasn't as "rough" as "backwoods" backpacking, I did carry a pack, hiked an average of 15 mi/day through rolling alps, rural countryside, small village, dessert and big cities. Just as you described I was on a total "high", physically and mentally, walking all day long. I met so many wonderful people, stayed in unique albergues and hostels, ate all types of new and interesting foods. Each day was a new adventure on a new part of the trail. As the hike came to an end, I found myself getting depressed, even before it ended and then, when it did and I was on the plane flying home, it REALLY hit me! When I got home I talked about the Camino constantly - like I was obsessed with it - for about two years and then I realized I needed to focus on experiencing "Caminos" HERE, at home, right in my backyard! I just want YOU to know that you are RIGHT ON! The depression is REAL! I hope that you have been able to stay "above" the depression and find happiness and fulfillment in other experiences and pursuits! Keep up your great videos! I'm planning to purchase some of the items you have suggested to "build" my ultralight pack "set up"! My husband and I are returning to backpacking in Oregon and Washington - after a 20 year break, working and raising a family! :-)
as a veteran, I can relate to how satifying rucking up and tackling a long hike. I miss it all the time. being outside, living in the woods and sharing that adventure with my infantry brothers. I know it very different doing it in the civilian world, but there are similarities for sure. I think getting back out into the woods helps me with my own issues and I love it. Thank you for your videos. If you happen to meet any vets out there on the trail, give them a warm welcome and know that we are out there just like you, and experience the same theraputic experiences. Some of us have experienced some of the worst things this world has to offer, but many of us are out there to find ourselves again and try to sort things out in a sane environment. More and more I find that the sights and sounds of the modern world are like nails on a chalk board to me. Getting out into nature is the best medicine. Hope to see you out on the trail. Cheers.
I get it. Due to physical problems I've been unable to go on long trail hikes. However, that wanderlust has been satisfied by spending at least half the year traveling on small sailboats. It's like hiking at a good walking pace much of the time. My wife and I took a cab after a long time on the boat and it seemed crazy fast. We were doing 30 mph.
14 months ago we lost our boat in a shipwreck. We were lucky to kayak to a nearby island. Lost everything so we've been rebuilding ever since. I've gotten through the winter by watching sailing and hiking youtubes. Thanks for helping with that. We will be traveling soon.
People who haven't lived free and easy don't understand.
Sounds like my 14 yr Army Life. I’ve been out for 4 years now and am getting into hiking because I miss the “Go”! love your stories! Stay on the move!!!
This is part of why I'm afraid to even do a week hike. I get a small amount of post trail depression from a longer day hike. I can't imagine how it would be after months
The way you talk about your experiences is so beautiful and inspiring! I honestly want to hike the AT after watching this video, despite the warnings about post trail depression. :D
Thank you LA Fresh Life! Just sharing how I feel. I love to read comments like yours because the reason I made this video was to inspire and connect with like minded people. There are so many negative comments that have come through this video, so it's always nice to see a Positive comment! Thanks for Watching!
Hike On,
Darwin
LA Fresh Life i
We really can't describe gow amazing and life-changing it is. We would love to have you join our tramily (trail family).
Thanks for your kind words! I plan on doing the AT Trail next year..im getting prepared now! Good luck on your future indevors..
Last month I was part of a 40th anniversary reunion of AT hikers from 1978. Hiking the trail was a positively life-changing event for me and I look back at it as the smartest decision I ever made. It changed the course of my life and I met some great friends.
Love this man. Lots of real feels here in this. I grew up on 45 acres with 8 ponds and lots of adventure. I moved to the city as a teen and have always had a pull to the nature side. I am a huge critter person and have kept many species of reptiles and inverts as well as many fish. My family and I just made a move across the US to Nevada for my career, but also for our family to have a connection to nature with the mountains and desert. We promised ourselves and family that we would get out and do more with this move and we are! We are gearing up and doing hikes, not long thru hikes, and loving every minute of it! Found your channel and have been watching like crazy! Thank you for sharing all your hikes and your gear thoughts as well as the van vids! Your on the PCT right now so hope you see this when you have a signal. Stay safe, and hike on!
#4 at 6:44, that's how I feel most of the time. It is hard to explain the feeling of being on top of a mountain, being surrounded by sequoias/redwoods, or just seeing some of the most beautiful views in the world to someone who has never stepped on a trail. I currently live near the AT now and most people that I've met, who have lived here their entire lives, have never even heard of it. Same with the PCT when I was living in So Cal. What really breaks my heart is when folks tell me that they want to travel overseas to explore while they haven't even seen whats in their own backyards. Again, thanks for the videos. Good job. --JY
Totally agree JY , there is so much beautiful/amazing places to see here in the US. I'm awestruck when I hear that as well. Get out and Explore!
Hike On,
Darwin
Can definitely relate my man - keep doin what you're doin.
Wow that explains a lot, I never thought of it that way. I have totally experienced the post trail blues, especially when I had to pull off the AZT after only 200 miles due to injury. That sucked, but I didn't know it was a common experience. Thank you Darwin for sharing your experiences with us thru these amazing videos. You are an inspiration!
You are describing what it was like when I returned to civilian life after the Air Force. It took me a solid year to feel "Normal" again.
I don't think i'll ever feel "Normal"..... Normal is boring! Thanks for Watching!
Hike On,
Darwin
I know where you're coming from Mark. I hike and do a lot of adventure still stuff to deal with the loss of the Air Force way of life......that was 35 years ago.
Have you heard about Warrior Hike (Warrior Expeditions?)? These are veterans who hike and help other veterans to deal with re-entry into "normal" life through hiking. I met a couple of them on the PCT around Castle Crags California a couple of years ago. Real nice guys.
1.thank you for your service. 2. I have never felt normal in the normal working life.....just never happy...
23 years later I'm still trying to adjust to the normal life.
I get it, watching you guys with your TH-cam videos really helps me deal with it. Everybody from you. Two girl in the woods,, hi Brooke, two corporals corner. All you guys helped me get through a very hard and depressing winter with a miserably wet spring. Thank you for what you do, what you share. It's cool to have someone who gets you.
Normal is just a cycle on the washing machine. Some folks create their own "normal".
I had the same depression after returning from my motorcycle trip from Alabama to Alaska last year. Now planning for the AT to cure my itchy feet.
Totally! I don't want to be "Normal", ever again!
Hike On,
Darwin
Never heard that phrase before, I like it! 😄
Playing Lord Huron - Meet me in the Woods after a hike is a fun way to dump yourself into a pit of depression. Great topic. I just did a 2 week hike, it was my first real hike/camp as an adult. Everything just feels wrong now. I remember having my bag full and going "I could just fuck off and live out of this bag and not deal with traffic or my mortgage.."
I've always just called it my addiction. I dont know if I would call it post trail depression since I've dealt with clinically diagnosed depresssion before and this is something completely different. It's a longing. Longing for independence, for absolutely no responsabilities apart from meeting your physical needs and walking. Longing for solitude. Longing for companionship with likeminded people. It makes you DO something. In german, we have a word that kind of describes it: "Fernweh". Hurting/longing for something far away.
I have not done any long distance trails in the US, but this video (and similar ones I've been watching all evening) made me want to try out the AT or the PCT. I can only imagine how much more solitude you can get in north america compared to crowded europe.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Well put! I would call it post adventure depression related to my own experiences. Enduro adventure riding, canoing, trail hiking, Euro trips with our RV. All these kind of things we do to escape the everyday life living makes my lungs breathe and my head washed and vitalized. Post adventure depression could hold half a week or two for me, however at the same time you are filled with impressions and happiness of what you have experienced. As you say, go out and do what you like more often is the medicine. I should do that alot more, day hiking is under rated. Thanks for sharing your experiences!
I am an "older" person. I worked, took only mini vacations that fit into the schedule, paid bills. Never made a lot of money, only enough to live had to mouth. If you live long enough, you're bound to have some kind of medical issue, your parents die, and you WISH you could go do something like this, but need to stay near a town where there are hospitals and pharmacies. If I were to foolishly try this now, what happens when you have a stroke or heart attack (trust me, is does happen) and need immediate care but you're miles and therefore hours away from help? I wish I had done something like this when I was able to!
I figure that most people do this when they are BETWEEN jobs. But therein lies the rub...when you're strong no healthy enough, you are also typically chugging long in your career. Most jobs frown on extended leave of absence. It's like the old "I need a car to get to work, but without the job, how do I earn money to buy a car with?"
And to the people who object to his feelings on re-joining the rat race, he isn't saying "Poor me, I have to go back to my cushy high paying job." What he is describing is "culture shock". This happens when we switch environments. It happens to people coming out of prison, to people coming out of a sensory deprivation tank, to people moving from one place to an extreme other. Ever seen a new person at work who keeps saying "At my old company, we did it THIS way..." and everyone gives them an eye-roll? It's because our hearts and minds are slow to embrace the present. All we can talk and think about is the experience we just came out of. Example: Young mothers talk about their kids ad nauseum. New neighbors talk about how weird it is to live here. People who have been in the military talk and think about how different civilian life is. People who go to movies talk about movies. And people who thru hike talk about....guess what? 😉
It's NOT rich white guy problems, it's a life experience which imprinted on him. He will get used to his normal (for him) way of life, but he has to settle in like the new employee. If you think about it, we ALL do this.
I've been where he's at mentally and emotionally. I'm sure many people have a version of it like you said. But I understand that one thing he does have on the trail is freedom. I have not done a thru-hike but I have been forced to move on from wonderful places due to the nature of my job. Didn't want to leave but had no choice time was up. It does hurt when you're dealing with a less than satisfying existence afterward. Having to re-enter the rat race after experience a life of freedom in the natural world would really suck.
As for your other statements. We only have one shot in this world and have to decide what direction we are going to go. Hikers can be healthy and still run into a very bad situation medically. You could also be killed in a car crash on the way to the pharmacy. Don't limit yourself!
Read Rockefeller Medicine Men by E Richard Brown...
Then perhaps you won't feel so obligated to stay near a hospital or pharmacy.
And or at least watch the 1982 interview of Norman Dodd on tax exempt foundations, by the time you're done, you will see the entire world in a whole new way, I promise!
Haven't you heard of a personal EPIRB. It is a small distress beacon for when you need desperate medical or life saving assistance. Inexpensive and small, light weight to carry. Google EPIRB
@poolplayerbrian dropping dead on trail sounds just like what the doctor ordered. I'm 40 and heading out on the AT April of 2023. I figured I'll hike long trails until I drop dead, and happily at that. My family can bury me green and leave me there.
I've only section hike most of Massachusetts on the AT I spent weeks on end out there I'm planning my through hike of the AT for March 2022. Just coming off the trail after section hiking I feel the same way you do it's hard to connect with other people they don't understand the adventure and the struggle you went through except other hikers it's hard to connect it's hard to explain all the amazing things that you have seen and get someone to understand it even pictures don't show the full story. It's almost enough to make you want to cry. Post trail depression is most certainly real it's a very difficult thing.
I have the same issue, even though, I'm a weekend backpacker.... I load my pack all the time. I clean my gear and tweak the setup just to keep from thinking about not being on a trail...
lol... It's a good Issue to have I think?
Hike On,
Darwin
Totally agree!
Exactly.
Maybe your best video, that I have watched, so far. Greif and loss is real. Having an intense relationship/commitment with the AT (CDT, PCT, etc.) and feeling lost at the end, is normal human behavior. Thank you for addressing this so openly and honestly. You are your own best therapist. There is a book from the 80s that you might enjoy. It was written by William Glasser, "Positive Addiction." You have just done a great job of explaining its dynamics.
Good video. As a long distance paddler, this brings back memories of when a 6 month solo canoe trip I did came to an end and my re-entry into so-called "Normal" life. I can certainly relate.
Wow. OMG you are me. I never had anybody put it into words before. You nailed it. Exactly perfect. Thanks Darwin. Great to know and an awesome feeling to know i am not alone in my thoughts and feelings. This has made me very emotional to know that somebody else actually gets it. From the bottom of my heart THANK YOU!
This explanation reminds me what it's like to come home from being deployed in Afghanistan.
bellkn What on earth were you doing in Afghanistan? Isn't AT in Virginia?
I'm just an old veteran - USAF 1964-68 but I know the feeling.
Absolutely.
@@mountainman6172 He's prior service or still in.
Thanks everyone for your service
When I finished the Camino de Santiago in 2015, I boarded a train to take me back to Madrid for my flight home. As i took my seat and looked out the window a profound sadness and loss came over me. Thank you for sharing your story/journey.
im retired and no debt so i hike routinely year round.
I'm disabled and have nothing but debt so I hike year round to avoid thinking about how much my life sucks.
That Guy That’s sad, I’m sorry. What kind of disability ?
@@ThatGuy-vw2pi omg. Me too. And 38 is much too young for that spit. Ruined my life it did.
@@kdavis4910 debt?
@@BonchPlaysMC disabling conditions, the debt is resolved now.
I can relate to this so much! In 2012/2013 I went on a 6 month sailing trip with 30 other people my age (15-17) and it is still the most amazing thing I've ever done. When we arrived in the harbor at home, I was definitely NOT ready to leave and be home again, and I just wanted to say hi to my family and get going again. I was very, very lucky that my sister was also on the same trip (on a different boat) the same year, because when I woke up the next morning in my bed at home, I just didn't know what to do... so I went to her room and we just lay in bed without really talking but just digesting it together. The next weeks were very weird... We were thrown back into high school life, and there were so many things to catch up on, I didn't get to work through all the things I had to work through before the summer holidays that year. It was hard to answer the question of 'how was it?' that everyone was asking because I mean... how the hell do I sum up these amazing 6 months right? It took me sooooo long to get over the 'depression' and to stop feeling like I was never gonna do anything ever again in my life that could compete with this experience, but ever since uni when I went on exchange to Korea in 2016 I realised that I actually COULD do something to get over this feeling of wanting to go back in time, back to when everything was amazing and I was living with 30 other people who are now, in a way, my extended family. That's when I decided to start seeking these kinds of experiences again, and keep moving forward and creating other moments in time that I could reminisce about... That's how I'm trying to live my life now :) Even though sometimes I still fall back into wanting to go back, I always know that something else exciting is on the horizon, however far it may be, it's going to be okay :) wow that was a long comment xd
Darwin, GREAT TOPIC!I think those of us that have already thru hiked a Trail can relate to this. I feel you on the lack of challenges that has inspired me to continue to test my own limits with some thru-hikes I have planned later this year. Totally agree on the conversation. It's hard to have conversations, even at work, that I can't somehow encompass what my experience and learnings were from the trail last year. The challenges one has to overcome to thru-hike requires a special skill set that is learned and developed on the Trail. Thru-hiking the A.T. would be on the top of my resume any day. I try and put myself in positions that I can use my experience to share and help others as you are doing on your channel. This helps me stay connected to the Trail and PTD.~Bigfoot
Finally, someone else who doesn't think day hiking with a full pack is crazy. Live your passion!
I haven't done a thru-hike... yet. I'm doing the AT in 2018. But I can relate to most of what you're saying already. I'm a bartender and feel the need to start conversation and play host in a way.... and most of the time it's hard to find things to talk about because I feel like I don't relate with most people. I often ask my guests what they do for fun when not working. I'm amazed by how many people have to think real hard about it. Most people I talk to just work, drink at the bar all day, and watch tv. I'm passionate about the outdoors (and all 100 of my hobbies) but to talk about them I feel is a drag for other people. you're right.... they just don't get it.
I've always said, "working just to make ends meet is not living." Get out and explore, find a hobby, be passionate about something!
Great video! thank you
I'm hiking the AT in 2018 as well, see ya out there!
Hope to see you out there
Amanda Bess same thing here as a barista..everyone trying to keep up with the Joneses and shuttling there kids around to activities they don't wanna do.. I know someone who hasn't been out of his state in over a decade. Sad
Hey PeeWee!
I only recently came across your channel and am only up to day 77. I have not commented on any of your videos, since I am so far behind on the videos of your hike and usually someone has already said what I was thinking. I am commenting now, because even though you have helped inspire me to consider thru hiking the AT, I searched for what it would be like, after finishing the trail, when I came across Darwin's video. I enjoyed your reply to Darwin, last Aug and am glad that you have followed through with your AT hike. Rooting for you to finish and I know that you are looking forward to the next phase of your life. I've really enjoyed your passion and honesty, throughout all of your videos. And as you've seen by the support from we, your subscribers, what you have to say is not a drag at all and we are always waiting for your next pearls of wisdom.
As Darwin says, "Hike On"
So how was it?
I have depression and i havent been on the trail like...5 years. I dont like my current life and i cant change it...Trail is my home.
Awesome video.
I worked for the VA as a health care provider. The vets (WWII, Korea, Vietnam, Irag, Afghanistan) would come in and talk about their experience. Their feelings were "If you weren't there, you can't understand it." They would relate that when they came back, they tried to talk to people about it, but felt no one could possibly understand it, so they would kept their experience to themselves.
Now...I'm not saying that thru-hiking is ANYWHERE near a combat experience, BUT, the brain is funny how it interprets possible life struggles. Maybe post thru-hiking is a form of PTSD.
There's a guy down at REI who thru hiked the PCT. When I talk to him, I feel he really understands what I'm talking about. At this point, I don't talk to people about hiking...what's the point? I make videos, that's enjoyable. The only time I feel most at peace now is when I have a pack on, (yes, I just came back from a 6 mile hike with full pack weight just in the woods by my house). I don't know why, it just seems to make me feel better.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts,
Bart
On the Trail did you graduate on psychology? And are you still working as that? Thank you
As a veteran and a user of the V.A. I understand this feeling or attitude because I somewhat share it. Nevertheless, no man is an island unto himself (so goes the famous poem) and you can try to build bridges, that is emotional bridges to people to communicate with them. If they refuse to cooperate you can’t, of course.
Hi Darwin, thanks for making the Post Trail Depression video. So much of what you said(everything) I agree with and have experienced. I'm 58 and haven't thru-hiked the PCT yet, but my son and I do some distance hiking every summer and fall. Usually 3-4 weeks on trail. I talk about it at every social, sports, family gathering. I can't not talk about it. It often feels empty as I get blank stares or looks of amazement. I can talk to my son or the occasional backpacker that I run into, but very few do as much as we do. My wife loves day hiking, but it always felt shallow until I decided to carry my pack fully loaded on the day hikes. The day hikes finally feel like I'm home! I'm going to be making my own videos and I watch and read as much as I can. It helps with the feeling of being isolated from society. Thank you again! Michael Takatsuno(Glider)
Thank you for sharing your experience/perspective on this; I have very much the same problem and I'm sorry for all those going through this sense of depression in life. If you are going through the issues discussed, please just spare a few minutes to read through my comment as I have my own advice I'd like to share -- even if it doesn't end up helping you it's worth a try, right? Even if you already know/agree with what I suggest, it might just help to read it.
Firstly I would say it's not just Post-Trail Depression that you describe, but that feeling that you constantly need to be challenging yourself and experiencing life's beauty, and when you don't satisfy that criteria in your day-to-day life you start to lose your spirit and feel like a zombie. And of course in fast-paced societies this criteria is seldom met because daily life is too draining for any human being to keep up with.
My advice to everyone going through this is to make a habit of reading books more often and to work on developing your imaginative skills at EVERY moment that you get, even if it's just ten minutes whilst on the toilet (and don't just read what's easy all the time - really explore ideas in philosophy, psychology, science, maths, history, art...). You can travel worlds in your own mind without going anywhere. You can experience the challenges of mental paradox, explore every kind of idea and detail of life... There is as much --if not more-- beauty in the mental world as in the physical. There are an infinite number of ways to see any space or situation; if you are stuck in one place, just try to focus your mind to move through that space and see it from a different perspective. The world around you is rich with variety and you just have to look closer, rather than keep looking away (or literally walking away).
Don't get me wrong: walking away and experiencing all the different sensations of raw life is absolutely incredible (I believe it is how we are meant to exist to achieve true happiness), and it gives you more time to think and hence develop your imagination... But of course, as people rightly point out, our world doesn't make it possible to always be doing that. Hence, in between, try to explore other ways to satisfy your spirit's yearning for challenge and stimulation, otherwise you can risk becoming addicted to an unsustainable and unbalanced way of life that is ultimately unhealthy for you (by virtue of its being unsustainable and not meeting all of your requirements as a human being).
Also remember that life is as much about love and development of our moral character as it is about physical/mental challenge and exploration. We can risk becoming selfish if we focus all the time on the latter things (and sometimes we need to be selfish for our health, but other times we cross over into being just unhealthily selfish-- everything has a fine balance). Many things that are really worthwhile require commitment (I try to drum that into my head every day, as I really struggle with commitment even though I know this fact is true! Committing to things is my own big challenge which I believe holds its own kind of beauty at the end and along the way.)
I always ask myself - what would I do if I were held up in a room for an indefinite amount of time, isolated from everyone and everything? How would I survive? The only way I can imagine surviving is by being content with my own mind; realising that every possible vision, realisation, idea, concept...already exists within the mind. That you can be content with nothing but that (and if you still die, you die at peace).
I even ask myself, what would I do if I lived in my utopia, where society is exactly as I dream it to be... would I then find the contentment I look for and desire to have in this currently fucked-up world? I feel I can only truly find that contentment by being content with my mind -- wherever I am, whatever I'm doing -- by being happy with who I am in myself, and finding entertainment and joy in the pureness of ideas, regardless of the external world...
Again, don't get me wrong, I know all of the above is a fucking challenge. But the whole point is that it's the challenge of life that we all face... and it is made ever-harder because in this modern day we are thrown every kind of stimuli to process, and it's harder to just find the stillness and tranquility that we need to really even function....
Point is, don't just see a hike as a challenge but see each day, each moment, as a challenge. ...a challenge to be positive, to try things differently, to see something in a different way, to try facing some stupid fear and embracing your inner strength...
The more that you do all of that the more that you start to find that balance you need to fit in and feel more at peace in the world, even being around those who at first seem so different from you and are so hard to connect with.
Even when I go through times of depression, and find it hard to feel excited by any idea at all that my brain fathoms, I know that the awareness of all of the above gets me out of it eventually -- because I am reminded that life is infinitely stimulating and exciting if only you have the right frame of mind, as well as have the hope that over time that right mind will come again, even if just on and off. You just have to have patience and keep trying to push yourself to try and do new things (not just hiking), wherever you are, whatever your situation, even if you don't have money or much time at all.
If you have the persistence and patience and belief that there is more to EVERYTHING than you at first see, then you will pull through times of depression and become a well-balanced and well-rounded individual who grows stronger by the day.
Source: I've had depression on and off for years and it's always nature, ideas and love that pull me through (ideally a combo of all 3).
PS. Look, I just want to add as a final note that I'm not trying to preach - I'm not perfect either and there is no cure for being human. A lot of life is just about enduring shit. In that sense, all of the above is easier said than done I guess, but seriously the above perspective is the only thing that saves me, and I think it's a perspective that will help you if you are feeling trapped. Just have faith in it and keep on keeping on:)
Good luck everyone.
I'm 25, divorced, and kind of at a weird point in my life. I never went to college and worked really hard to get to where I am in regards to my career; however, now that I've reached my professional goal.. I don't feel nearly as much accomplishment as I thought I would. Since my divorce, I have been doing a lot of soul searching and I've realized that the generally vacant feeling I have in my gut on any given day is likely my dissatisfaction with living the life society tells me I'm supposed to. I have decided to save up as much money as I can over the next year, sell all of my belongings and set out to hike the AT. It's my reset button.
I've struggled with depression my whole life, so thank you for posting this because now I can at least mentally prepare for the aftermath of my thru hike.
Thank You!
I feel this way after every single trip I take! Its the only thing I think about until Im able to take another one
It never really goes away... Thanks for Watching!
Hike On,
Darwin
Yes Darwin I have depression every day because my life is not complete, I know that I need to find something new and maybe by watching more of your videos I can accomplish that. thank you for your time and your journeys .
I did a 6 day hike last summer, 72 miles and afterwards was really depressed for the next week or so...all i did was think about the trail. You get into a routine, and yeah its mentally and physically challenging, but really fun and rewarding.
Now I just have this need to be on a trail out in the woods...so i can only imagine 6 months on the trail...shit lol. Now I just wish I was fired or laid off because I have the money saved to hike the AT...or PCT....
I believe it is Natural Instinct at it's finest. We were meant to be in nature, not in a Concrete Jungle!
Hike On,
Darwin
_Icarus1_ Don't have to be laid off or fired, you can always quit. Get out there!
Darwin, that is the kind of comment that makes a lot of people dismiss you outright. It's nonsense. We aren't "meant" for anything. We simply exist out of a pure evolutionary process. With a trail name like Darwin, it would seem that you should know that already. We exist however each of us choose to exist. Without all the "concrete jungle" gear, how many hikers you think would attempt the trail?
_Icarus1_ it can become an addiction. Beware.
Move to New Hampshire in the White Mountains and hike when you like. Depression cured.
This was so interesting! Thank you for sharing. I was shocked to read some of the comments, it's ridiculous, I don't even think they deserve a response. Some people just have such miserable lives they feel the need to make themselves company. Keep doing you!
This is what it feels like coming back from a deployment. You return to a life of people that don’t get you and you don’t feel like you can fit back in because you’ve changed.
And i don't think truly you ever do "fit in" anymore. Thanks for your Service also.
thank you for your service
I feel like I can definitely relate. Though I have only been on short wild camps and expeds, I can feel this sense of needing to escape back into nature when I am numb and I guess part of that manifests as post trail depression. Thank you for making that video, I understand it so much more now.
One of my favorite videos from your channel!
Thanks for Watching Robert!
Hike On,
Darwin
I can relate. I am an accountant and quit a good job (age 49) in 2010 to bicycle around the world. I spent 5 years away, 3 years biking solo through 40 countries around the world, another year living in Thailand and a year volunteering at an orphanage in the Philippines. I am now back in Canada working as a tax accountant.
I did it because I didn't want to wait until 65, not knowing if I would be able to physically go or if I would even be alive. If you have a strong desire to do something and have the ability (in terms of money and health) then you should do what you desire.
We only get 1 chance at life so don't criticize anyone who wants a change and follows through. If you can't do it, fine but no need to condemn others who can.
Amen. All I want to do is grow my own crops and thru hike. It makes me sick that to successfully farm is impossible to do myself. Others either have to agree or it's unachievable for one person. Thru hiking it is because I won't stick around, living a life I don't want, so others can choose to actively oppose how I want to live. If I get to live without, so do they. And I'm gone.
Long-distance hiking has a way of simplifying life, which I find very gratifying. In my regular life, especially in terms of my work, plans are often made complicated and convoluted due to the complexities of business/government, and from the injection of opinion from so many interested parties. Making measurable progress can be agonizingly slow and quite frustrating. On a long-distance hike, I find it's the opposite. You make your own decisions, you measure progress by your own scale (distance, views, smiles, whatever). It's an enriching experience in almost every way, in spite of the discomforts of primitive living. When I returned from my long hike on the AT some years ago, I was at first happy to be back in life of convenience. I had missed pizza-on-demand, and movies, and such. But more and more I found myself wanting to be back out there. It would strike me at odd times. For instance, I was walking from the office to my car at the end of a workday, and something in the air made me feel an actual physical pang -- like grief, I think. Once you have done it, it's no good trying to explain it to someone who hasn't.
Totally agree! It's a strange addiction to be free again!
Hike On,
Darwin
Got it! When you get home all you think about is analyzing the hike you were just on and start planning and want to get back out on the next hike. Thanks, I’m not the only one like this!!!!
Yo I love your video!! this is so inspiring. I really want to hike Appalachian trail and I will next year. I can definitely see how it's hard for you when you come back. Please don't take to heart the people who cant understand what you mean because they haven't done it. Keep it up, you definitely inspired me. 😀
I am Starting a flip flop thru-hike from harpers ferry tomorrow. Can't sleep at all, I am so excited. Thank you for all your videos. You and other channels like this are one of the main reasons I am going on this Journey. THANK YOU!
I did my first 4 day trip last summer and I've been wanting to go back everyday but college responsibilities are forcing me to wait till summer break. I've done day hikes but at the end of the day I just don't want to get back in the car and it's been a struggle to convince my friends to join me. It's funny though b/c on the trail I've gotten use to having full on conversations with my dog.... sometimes on our walks...
I'm prepping for my pinhoti hike after my friend and I finish the Georgia portion of the AT. Your videos have really really help my post trail depression. Thank you!!
Wow thank you for sharing Darwin.
Brian
Thanks for Watching Brian!
Hike On,
Darwin
There is something so healing and energizing when you get away from manmade cities and you are out in nature and going at the pace of life, of your body, of the earth (the rivers and the terrain and the weather, etc) and the natural elements all around you and not any other clock than the sun. When I come back from that, I'm on a week long high. But I know I have to start planning the next one. Just thinking about the next one keeps me going. We were made for the earth and the earth for us. We need to be connected to it. Thanks for posting your videos. Always enjoy them. Glad they've been healing for you too.
I feel the same way about day hikes; longing for an overnight hike!
This is an excellent video and oh so true. I know some guys who got depressed trying to "plug" back in to their old lives. I am retired and live in the country, and cannot bear rush hour traffic any more...So, yeah.....you are totally "right on" with what you say. Thanks so much for taking the time to make this video...it opened up a great new perspective and understanding! Bless ya !
If you live close to the AT, you can do trail maintenance or trail magic.
We will return to the Trail within the coming years. Looking at dropping Anchor somewhere in Virginia! Thanks for Watching!
Hike On,
Darwin
Living close to the trail is awesome. We are blessed. We are straddling the fence. It's a nice compromise , the way I see it. Yet even so, do you know that the majority of people who live by the trail never hike it? Not even for a few hours on the weekend. Unbelievable!!!!
Thanks for the insight. The thing that gets me is when I have hiked through an area that both I & my late wife had hiked years ago. I experience an empty, heavy feeling in my heart knowing we will never hike it together again. I am planning to hike the AT in 2023 for the first time. I buried Judith in a US national cemetery. Her side of the marble stone reads: "You are in my heart forever."
This video hits home really hard for me. Thanks for sharing.
I feel like it prob hits home for a lot of folks. A lot of people don't talk about it. Wanted to make it for that reason... Thanks for Watching!
Hike On,
Darwin
never hiked the AT. had planned it.. had the money, nothing tying me down here, was hiking 3 days week for months getting into shape, got the gear I wanted and could afford(still alil on the heavy side). but then life happened. car broke had to get a new one. funds went to that. having a car payment made me stay.. then I got in school again.. then a career. still hiked and lived in the woods as much as I possibly could. now I'm engaged with a baby on the way. in school for another certification. and rarely get out on a trail. I may not have experienced a thru hike, but that feeling of homesick is there. waking up and walking outside on a brisk morning sends memories cascading in my brain of stepping out of the dew covered tent, hopping out of a hammock, the roar of pocket rocket with a steaming pot. I smile while I think of home. then comes the sigh, feelings of regret not hitting the AT when I had the chance. not knowing if I ever will.... hiking backpacking camping,.. it's an experience that is hard for me to explain. I can be very detailed describing the events or views, meals, sounds, smells...but the feeling and connection is unexplainable. something one can only understand from experiencing it for themselves.
Absolutely right on.....the blank stares I received after talking with regular people about trail adventures (near-bear attacks, a naked old hiker wearing only a wizard's cap and carrying a staff (!) made me feel hollow in the real world. I've resolved never to bring trail adventures up with people who've never packed. Alluding to the Air Force gentleman's comments below, I think I understand better why service vets rarely bring their experiences.
While I am a hiker wannabe right now. I'm gathering equipment and training for a thru hike. I had an experience of culture shock like you describe in my life. I became ill, so ill that I no longer was able to walk, feed myself, and other personal things. So I found myself in a hospital on the rehab ward for weeks and weeks on end with no "ending in sight". Once I was released from this controlled, slow pace, and clinical environment it was a shock... and anxiety riddled out of control feeling shock. Just the normal swarm of home with 2 kids and a wife was overwhelming. Now imagine my first dinner out. So while I don't know the exact shock you explain, I think I can relate on how it may feel. I appreciate your thoughts and your coping mechanisms you shared. The fact you acknowledge this phenomena is brave and I say bravo, for whatever that is worth. Thank You!
Great topic! Love your videos and following your journey.
Thanks for Watching Midwest Outdoors!
Hike On,
Darwin
You’re an amazing person amigo. Your talk about depression really hit home for me. I would surf, hike, camp, and go spelunking while growing up in Southern California. I’ve lived in Beijing China nearly 20 years now and just realized I’ve been depressed most of the time...
Take a shot every time he does "air quotes "
lol.... Great game! People wouldn't be able last long though. Thanks for Watching Dawn!
Hike On,
Darwin
Dead
literally
Ha ha. A little teasing never hurt.
Exactly how I feel since 2012....every day. Have watched your video since you started and you explain so well and I love your calm voice. This is maybe one of the most important topics.
Thank you for all your advices and keep on making these videos.
While I get the idea of criticizing the American consumerist lifestyle as some are doing in the comments, I do wonder about a few things....Many of us out here are really struggling just to put food on our tables and have not accumulated huge debt. We are just trapped in trying to survive.
I would guess that most people who are enjoying these adventurous lifestyles have some source of $ that the average joe like myself does not have. Perhaps a trust fund or possibly some sort of employment that creates a load of $ in a short time ?Average working class people certainly cannot just pick up and leave jobs for endless adventure. In the end the big mystery is always how folks can fund all the good times. Would really enjoy hearing a frank and open discussion on how you are able to drop everything and go.
Same thing happens when you drop everything and travel on a shoestring. I found that it was much cheaper living by traveling internationally, living in hostels, sleeping over night on buses or trains. To answer your question about how it's done, I think you're right . . . It's easier when there are resources or a bank account but it's not impossible if you aren't flush with money. . I got a job teaching English overseas. Before I left for that job I was just making ends meet here- nothing in savings, a little bit of credit card debt, just sort of sloshing through life feeling a bit uninspired. I do have a college degree which was needed for the program I went on. They paid my way over, gave me a bit of a housing stipend plus I earned a salary. Didn't feel the need to buy new clothes or decorate my apartment while overseas and I owned a super cheap car and saved about 11,000.00 in two years. Then spent about a year backpacking. Without rent, car payment, bills, it was a very cheap way of living. But like coming off the trail, you do have re-entry shock, or reverse culture shock some call it and it is a struggle to relate to people and to go back to a normal job. It was about 18 years ago that I did this. And I have had "normal" jobs since returning but also continue to do a lot of traveling.
Very likely the "leisure class adventurers" have somehow made a pile of money by exploiting others in this system. They live like kings on the hard labor of others. This fellow in the video says he works but provides no details so I am a bit skeptical given all his free time.
I don't think it takes being a trust funder or even having much money to do a thru-hike. One thing a lot of folks have in common (but definitely not all) is they are YOUNG. They haven't piled up responsibilities and debt. Packing up for 4-6 months and checking out is a lot easier without a house or kids or other responsibilities (like taking care of a sick family member). Some folks also just prioritize this, live for it. They work only long enough to save up for the next adventure. They probably aren't worrying about stockpiling for retirement or creating a nest egg. It really doesn't take much money to do these trips -- if you are willing to make concessions and not get stuck in the usual entrapments. They're not necessarily privileged...they just made very different choices. Honestly, I'm jealous. Wishing I'd taken the time to do a thru-hike when I was younger...before everything just happened.
1st off let me say, you have it all wrong. I started working when I was 15 years old, was out on my own when I was 18 with a full-time & part-time job paying for everything I had. When I was 21 i decided to get married, buy a house & learn a Trade. I became a machinist & tool maker by trade. After owning a house for 6 years & working since I was 15, my wife & I decided to simplify our lives. We saved up a lot of money over the years, sold our house, 95% of the things we owned & decided to travel. When we spend what we have saved we have a small nest egg, we stop traveling, put down roots somewhere else for a while, work full-time, live a basic lifestyle, save as much money as possible, then take off again. It's not that hard Sir. There is no "Trust Fund", I'm not "Exploiting Others". I simply work, save money, & chose to live my life as I see fit. It's all about what you want in life. I find it so funny/irritating that people think that "people like me" use the system, or have a stock pile of money. I work a simple (just above minimum wage) job, own everything that I have, buy nothing I don't need, & choose to travel in my free time. Simplify you life & find out for yourself what possibilities will unfold for you.
Hike On,
Darwin
Well said, brother.
After having heard about about the Appalachian Trail back in 1986 while attending Bloomington North (Indiana :) ), I started making plans to hike it. I bought boots, a pack, a stove...and then joined the Army for a bit, got married, had kids, and got a teaching career. My dream fell by the wayside....
....until this year. Turning 50 in January made me realize that I just needed to get to the AT and try...even for just awhile. My husband and I made plans, bought gear, watched your videos and others (Dixie, Bigfoot, Evan...), and dehydrated food. We practice hiked with packs around southern Indiana, and finally ventured down to Georgia when our schedule finally allowed- July 8th of this year.
Between 95* heat and 90% humidity, me taking the wrong boots, him trying to quit smoking at the same time, and both of us being older than we wanted to admit, our two-week 100+ mile planned adventure turned into a four-day 26 mile one. We came home and within three days was back out backpacking in Morgan-Monroe State Forest for a 10 mile loop.
No more than that small amount of hiking still led to some post-trail depression on my part and me exhibiting some of these same behaviors you described. Thanks for talking about it, and talking about ways to deal with it. My plans at this point is to keep chipping away at the AT until I finish the whole thing, hopefully by writing a grant to be able to take off some time to hike for a few months straight. My husband’s plans? Hiking bits of it with me occasionally and “holding down the fort” while I am gone. THIS dream I am not ready to give up on yet. Thanks for helping to inspire us fellow Hoosiers to really go and hike on such a cool trail. It was worth it.
Aww, it's a little unfair to assume that noone you tell your stories to understands or cares just because they "weren't there". Either you're talking to complete assholes, or you've got unrealistic expectations of your audience and what their reactions should be like ... give them a little credit. Being in the rat race doesn't mean they can't appreciate a good story!
Another point on human interaction is to also be open to talking about other things sometimes with people. We can't just be like the crazy cat lady who only ever tells stories of Mr.Mittens and Miss Fluffles. It's feeding an obsession if we only surround ourselves with like-minded people who share our obsessions. That's not what life's about.
Sometimes the solution is in our own mindset: being grateful for life, and nature, and even that boring job and house. It can be hard, but i really believe gratitude is the first step in contentment.
Sonnenblume22 Thank you, thank you, thank you! For your excellent comment! You have definitely put me in a better mind set!!! And l have been learning about the attitude of gratitude : ) please keep
Just like another comment from a gentleman who after being in the Air Force took a year or so to readjust to "normal" life. I have the same emotional trauma. Every weekend I have to put a full backpack on and just hike; even if it's just a couple of miles. Most of my greatest trips were in Europe, the Middle East and North Africa. The end of each trip meant going back to a routine. However, had it not been for Uncle Sam sending me around the world I would not have all of the incredible experiences under my belt. When I am out on a trail it helps me to re-live past experiences and enjoy new ones. Great video, Darwin!
This sounds very similar to what I experienced after living in other parts of the world for awhile and then coming back to my home country. It sounds a lot like reverse culture shock.
I was on the A.T. in 2015, I probably saw you guys, I'm a retired U.S Army Grunt and I can tell you the feeling never goes away, There are ways to disconnect yet be connected to the world, we live on 21 acres alone and don't carry a cell phone ,but as you see still block in time for limited computer communication., God bless you hope to see you in the Bush.
Hey Darwin... Wanted you to know that Early_Riser_71 just gave you and this particular video a shout out on one of his recent thru hike video. Great video. Love the channel
Excellent! I watch his videos from time to time. Which one is it, would like to give him a shout back!
Hike On,
Darwin
I know its not much to go on but day 40-55 or so. Sorry I can't be more specific but he went on about your video and had folks commenting as well.
I like your attitude and I can feel what you're saying. I went on a long solo hike/adventure in 1992 when I got out of the military. I spent about thirty days alone in the wilderness in the Appalachian mountains with the crappiest gear I could afford at that time. My friends thought I was nuts for doing this, but what I discovered was that my life was completely nuts before I went on this adventure of 30 days of solitude, hiking and exploring. What I really discovered was myself! It really helped put things into perspective.
I've been on quite a few long hikes since that time, but this year is going to be the biggest for me. I'll be hiking a large section of the NCT (Michigan, Wisconsin, N Dakota). If all goes well (and maybe if it doesn't) I'll probably attempt a thru hike of the AT next year.
So many people never learn to slow down and look around and enjoy the ride and they wonder why life passes them by so quickly. Most people get caught up in the money trap and think that they need things that they really don't.
You need a hobby. Happiness comes from within. No matter where you go, you are there. You can not escape yourself. And you will always be surrounded by haters. Happiness comes from within.
Hey Darwin. Really like this video. I'm not a thru-hiker but I am an "Outdoors" person. I grew up on a small to medium size farm where I had unlimited and exclusive access to 500 acres of rolling hills, grasslands and forest. For several years we had cattle and would walk the trails they made. Occasionally I'd find a deer trail and follow it for a bit (a true nature trail). I left the farm when I was in my 20's and now 30 years later my love for the outdoors (and the farm) is as strong as it was when I was a kid.
Keep on hiking and enjoy life.
You experience the same feelings when you leave the military.
Thanks so much for your honesty in this video. I did 1800 miles on the AT in `17. It wasn't a complete thru-hike in technical terms but dam it was enough. The trail changed me inside and out. I don't want to complete the miles I missed. Id rather do the whole dam thing again. And hopefully someday I will. This whole year I've been depressed. But even handing out ice-cold Gatorade literally on the trail, offering rides, and other trail magic, this year, near where I live has been amazing. I was able to relive the emotions from the year before. I've learned so much about myself through this whole processes too and have become a much stronger person for it. Thanks for all your insight. Justin.
it's self-deprecating to say that no one would understand you. I'm not a Backpacker but I completely understand the feeling of being in a group of like-minded people for a long enough time that going back to society is completely depressing. it's called a music festival.
I think that we are all pack animals. When we are away from our "Pack" for too long we feel out of place. I guess that's what I meant when I said that in the video. It's amazing how many people on here took it in a negative "screw normal people" sorta way. I'm glad I have like minded people in the comments that get it. Thanks for Watching SiJaeJee!
Hike On,
Darwin
there are tons of people out there who would be emphathetic. there are whole festivals called "decompression" after burning man. just to help reintegrate into shitty society.
I think it’s a bit more extreme than just a music festival😂😂😂
There is something magical in the mountains and trails that makes me want to keep hiking until the end of my life. It is so hard to explain in words, a feeling only hikers can understand.
Most people will never understand this....
And how incredibly sad that is.
I go hiking almost every weekend but have never done a thru hike.. Yet. I love your videos because it let's me experience a through hike even though I ha e to been. I get post trail depression even from my short weekend trips. I'm always planning the next trip and my girlfriend is the only one I can share it with because she's always with me. Keep em coming! It's therapy for all!
I think that Americans don't know what to appreciate. So many people living in poverty in other countries that live as if they were hiking all the time know how to appreciate the boring secure life of the United States.
So people should feel bad because they live in a secure nation? We here in the U.S. take the least amount of time off from work than most developed nations.
You can find anything , in any life, that is not as bad as anothers life. Does that mean that person is ungrateful? Your logic is a bit silly.
Haiden I never said anything about feeling bad. I said that we should appreciate our way of life. It is a privilege not a burden. Of course being in touch with nature is a great thing, but we should not be disdainful about our privileges.
@@goldstar9174 I agree with Haiden.
Just found your video. I thought it was odd I felt down after my recent hiking trip in Arizona. I didn’t know it’s an actual thing. I certainly miss the solitude, views, and that feeling you get as you reach the summit. Thank you.
Kinda sounds like the military in some ways. Only, different.
So I grew up in a family of French n Indian War reenactors. From 2yrs old, I spent my summers, and even winters, living that way. Everytime I step back into society I fall into all of these issues. After more than 30yrs, it causes a rollercoaster in my life. Society lacks point when you're used to survival mode. Thank you. Great video. Very truthful
You sounded reasonable at first, but then I realised you really have a problem, wich "normal people" don`t. The problem sounds like you are too interested in talking about yourself insted of "normal things" and listening to other people and get your mind on other things in life than your hobby. People get tired listening til you saying "this one time, at band camp" or "this one time, at the AT", and that may be the reason why you have problems connecting to "normal people" and living in the moment where you are. People all over the world have truly great experiences and moments, but have no problems to have a normal conversation with other human beings without constantly mentioning their "one time, at band camp".
What is "normal" to you? "Normal" might be a LOT more, than what you think of as "normal".
Sorry for the criticism. Other part of what you said in the video sound much more reasonable.
Marius Engelsen i like where you're getting there :) can you explain your viewpoint some more? thanks
re a - I guess my point is that when Darwin is hiking, "normal people" experience "boring/normal things" like having their first child or taking him/her to the first day og school. I don't think any experince on the trail can even compare to that.
I don't have any doubt that the AT is an amazing experience, but Darwin does not seem to be able to enjoy "everyday magic", all the great things happening in a "normal life".
Different strokes for different folks. Different people value different things.
Thank you for your honesty and experiences. My brother 'Walking Stick' on the AT in the 1980's did not recover from the post depression, although he connected with nature so much. He has a shelter named for him on the AT in the Berkshires. Again thank you for making your videos on hiking and equipment. I only recently discovered your channel. Peace.