Im a single woman and im 40 and I just haven't met the right person within the right time frame to have kids. I dont have the money to have IVF. People make the assumption that I have chosen not to have kids and in a way I have... I haven't found the right person to have kids with and took precautions not to get pregnant in relationships that ultimately ended. I really feel in grief currently because most likely im not gonna have children but I keep that to myself as it's hard to explain to people and weirdly I feel awkward and embarrassed about it. People dont have kids for different reasons. Thanks for talking about the subject.
I feel this. Take a look at Gateway Women- there is useful info and a community of women who are childless. Also a list of therapists who specialise in working with childless women.
I am 43 & just didn't find TrueLove yet to have a family with. People assume I didn't want to or couldn't. Some of us wanted to be in Love first & then create a family from that commitment. It just didn't happen young like it did for others.
Unfortunately there’s always been terrible parents, some more than others, in different ways and different eras and there will always be. The way I see it is if a person realises is not happy to be a parent, give the child up for adoption because there are many good people who can’t have children or they do have but would like to add more, believe me they would be doing both the child and the new parent a favour. I asked my mother when I was a child to do this and she just looked at me. Some people would refuse to give their children up for adoption or fostering even if they would be in a better place because they hold onto ideas and illusions that family is everything and are quite possessive about it but let me tell you this what if someone is ill and a family member cannot donate their part? They have to find a compatible donor that can be any random stranger willing to help. I said this but I also know that adoption is not an easy process and the adoptive parent also has to be prepared to lose that child if things really aren’t what they seem and/or if circumstances change.
I have children but I honestly don’t care if someone doesn’t. I’ve never asked a woman why she doesn’t. It’s almost 2025 and we’re still talking about this. Why??
Same. I had children because I wanted to create my own family, I don't care what other people do, it doesn't affect me whether my friends or family members don't have children. It boggles my mind why so many people get so wound up about it!
Yeah also why is it anyone's business? Lol , it's actually interesting hearing Kelly Brooke speak ,as I assumed she had kids...but now it makes sense, about all the miscarriages she's had and the strain on her health etc. some people want kids and some don't , it's a personal choice. Plus nobody knows what someone has gone through,or how they're feeling at the end of the day 🫶 💁♀️.
From the age of 18 I never wanted children I’m now 62 but I was always told by other women I would regret it and I can say to those women who told me that there has never been a day where I have regretted my choice.
I’m 66 years old. At times I have regretted it. There is a stigma attached to not having children. So called friends have excluded me many times where their parent friends were invited. I think the people of the pram today are very entitled. So I’m very glad I’m not young today.
@@Sally-qu3kz yep. ChildFREE people don't tend to regret not having kids. Nonetheless, it is better to regret NOT having kids than to have them and regret having them. The former only affects you, but the latter negatively affects both you AND the kid(s) who didn't and couldn't even consent to coming into existence in the first place.
She's lovely. - What a beautiful lady inside and out. Thank you Kelly - this has been on my mind and at 41 I've felt so anxious about not meeting the right person not having the opportunity etc but your video has given me peace. I needed to see this today - thank you
There are so many women out there starting to talk about this and not having children for many reasons, few which I’m glad Kelly has shared, trust me you are far from alone. Even new gen are going down that path. Anyone in society who can’t accept this are behind the times.
I'm 49 and single with no kids and love it. All through choice. I just think when people are so bothered by it I wind them up by giving them a hug and say 'don't get upset about it, you'll get over this'. Gets them every time!
I'm 41 years. Still no children. I have poor finances and health issues. So that is partly why I never had a kid. I'm very lucky I have a brilliant nephew who I spoil regularly. It's up to the individual whether they want kids or not. No one should be forced to have kids. I wish people should stop asking us women if we want kids or want to married. Leave us alone.
Honestly, as a mum myself, to me the point that you evaluated those factors means you’re more responsible & thoughtful than many people who _do_ have children. Congratulations on being a quality person, quality auntie (I’m sure I’d have adored having such an auntie) & living your most fulfilled life.
When I was 12 I decided not to have children solely in order to break generational curses. Whilst always being happy with my decision I was totally unprepared for the vitriol from other women - it's been horrendous! Because they view me as financially stable, carefree, career focussed, continually educating myself etc it shines a spotlight on their lives of drudgery, financial hardship, stuck in a boring job they haven't got the qualifications to get out of - and they hate me for it. So I retired when I was 55.
@@sarahyaghini9430The original commenter spoke about horrible comments from others, and you are giving a great example of that. How do you know this person doesn't have any family? And even if they are focused only on money, they aren't obligated to make it about family if that's not what they want. Why do you think it's your right to push your values onto another person?
Nothing wrong with continuing to be an Adventurous, Attractive, still desirable women in your mid 30s- mid 40s and stopping the planet being over populated whilst having a relationship that isn't based on 'having kids' or even being single and doing your own thing and not being made to feel guilty about it. Well Done Kel. Found the Sweet Spot others miss so much with BS ' 'Social Pressures'
Yes it's very frustrating when people immediately question "Why?" disapprovingly. Not everyone wants the responsibility or spend the time rearing a child and some people it just doesn't suit them.
@autumn5852 we can live in a city or the country, live single or married, choose to have children, choose our style. There is no one strict road to follow in order to be happy.
I’m 33 in a few months and I am also married and happy. Although I love children , I don’t think that I want to have my own. If I think about having children , I feel it’s only because of the pressure and that “this is what you suppose to do at your age “ .
Yes that's the culturescape planting seeds into peoples minds that it's something they must do but we all have our own identities and we choose what lives we want. To have a child just to please others is just not being true to yourself. Kids are very sweet and adorable souls but I think it's very different spending time with kids which you can then give back to actually being responsible for one. I'm very content with nurturing in other ways each day and letting the women who do really want kids do their job.
No you don't, if you want your kid to live like North West, then sure. If you have a standard nuclear family, then you can indeed provide the basics. Being a single parent however is another conversation.
Full respect to Kelly,I can relate to what she's saying as I'm only a few years younger and get bored to death with people's reactions when they realize you haven't got any. It's not the be and end all of everything,I love my freedom and independence and I adore my dog and cat. They're my babies and a lot cheaper and a whole lot less stressful 😊 Kelly still looks beautiful and young,maybe that's not having kids either 🤣
Freedom and independence? None of us have that. Do you have a job, a mortgage? Family and friends who sometimes depend on you? Is money a constraint that denies you freedom? Do you live live in your dream home? Do you have unlimited health? Having children doesn't suddenly make you a shackled human being - you're already shackled - but it does give you an un paralleled human experience. It's like bringing up a clone who is 'you' but not quite 'you' and seeing them go through milestones and growth is beyond any reward you could chase in wealth, career or leisure. You simply chose comfort because you're too into yourself. Comfort is the biggest killer on the planet
Yes I agree with you Cathy. I'm in my 40s and don't have children through choice and if some women want them and really want that in their lives to be content great. As Kelly says I nurture in other ways and get great joy from that, especially to animals and for charity 🐶🐱 We are all different with different goals and some people don't want the responsibility of rearing a child so I don't understand why people still have issues with people's life choices. I think at the core it's a controlling expectation of I'm doing it so why aren't you thing but others need to just focus on their lives and live and let live.
I have children-now 26 and 23. Loved raising them and they are great adults. But I have friends who didn’t want kids. That’s fine. After all these years are still the best ‘Aunts and Uncles’ ever to my boys . I gave up my career, happily to raise my children. My opinion is you can’t have it all.
@@Bea_RosyI have a 69 year old sister who has never regretted her choice to not have children, but, she is an amazing Aunty😊 I still have my moments where I wonder how absolutely wonderful she is with my kids, but never had the desire for her own………,
YESSS Kelly to this empowering message. I never knew her history with this. We need more open, honest conversations like this! When she said that period of time and being asked those questions was like a burden - i felt that deeply. I feel exactly the same and very happily childfree by choice.
I never had a maternal instinct and hated how everyone constantly asked me when i was going to have children. I then met my current partner and had a bad time during covid where it made me realise that i wanted a family and fun times like i did as a kid. So we both decided to try at 33 and its the best decision i ever made. Couldnt imagine life without my son ❤
People need to stop saying they’ve not had children because they’re ‘selfish’ and wanted to focus on other personal goals - what’s actually selfish is having kids for the wrong reason (e.g loneliness), neglecting them or having too many thus causing financial/psychological hardship - the list goes on!
I have an identical twin sister. At the same moment she knew she wanted children, I knew I didn't. That never changed. We are now 57. Our parents and family only wanted us to be happy. Stigma is nonsense. You create your own life and are responsible for the choices you make. The quote I love the most? 'What others think of you, is none of your business'
Some people has told me they dreamed to have children from a very early age. And many people has told me they have had children because they don't want to be alone which, in my opinion is a very selfish reason
Adoption is great when done well, I agree. But it’s extremely difficult to adopt in many countries, eg. Australia, where I live. Stats: There were 201 adoptions finalised in Australia in 2022-23. Compared to 1971-72, the number of adoptions has declined by 98% from 9,798.
I have often thought the very same thing. It seems wholly selfish to bring a kid into the world and potential future we are heading for. It’s a massively selfish thing to do anyway, in reality, no parent is doing it for their imagined baby, they are always fulfilling their own needs. Whether they should or not.
@PaladinesAngel this is an extremely western take. The world has been a dark place before and it is no more dark today then previous times have been. Children bring hope and healing with them, and give us a chance at change.
I've never understood why its ever been anyone else's business. One argument I hear is "who's going to look after you when you're older" when we forget most peoples kids barely visit their elderly parents more than once a month.
I can't count the number of MEN who've said to me over the years: "Do you know - I love my kids but if I had my life to live over, I wouldn't have had any". Which just goes to demonstrate that they have them more often than not to prove to their peers that they're capable of fathering a child and to conform to society's expectations of them. Stuff that!
@@DanTheMan221I would say that every man who has children has said that to me actually. Im sure women think this often too but would never admit it. Men don’t care so they just blab on
@@thettproject4534 I've children and know many men who also are fathers... Not one has ever said that to me! I simply don't believe you! The only debate many said is the time of their lives they become dad's, some may if wished earlier or later depending.... You are clearly a childless person!
To all the people saying what a cruel world to bring a child into, is like saying its a mistake you were even born. You lack the courage to face evil and do good.
For all those thinking/saying _"sHe mAy rEgReT iT wHeN sHe'S oLdEr"_ ...🙄 ChildFREE people don't tend to regret not having kids. But most importantly, it's incredibly selfish to bring a *whole individual human being* into this awful world full of guaranteed unpredictable and unpreventable suffering just in case you MAY (very big 'may') regret it. It is better to regret NOT having kids than to have them and regret having them. The former only affects you, but the latter negatively affects both you AND the kid(s) who didn't and couldn't even consent to coming into existence in the first place.
Very hard to regret something popular…you can’t remember wanting. Do their lives seem rich for it? Sure, but so is yours in countless ways. It then becomes about fear of later life. I’ll be happy & secure then too. Always been, always will be.
Oh my god! This is what I have said ALL along. My future mother in law can't accept that I don't want kids and keeps making snide comments. My partner completely gets my reasoning and accepts that I won't kids. I would ALWAYS prefer to regret NOT having kids as opposed to having kids. If I had kids when I didn't want them, there is a the risk I'd resent that child and that I am a mum which would not be fair on the child at all, plus it would be soul destroying for myself knowing I am partly resenting that child, and not giving them 110% of my love and the love they deserve. I wish that more people understood this.
They probably say this because if people realise what it would really be like to be committed to raise children the rest of their life with sacrifices, less may have them. There’s plenty of children still born into the world so we have no population issue as such
You can’t miss something you’ve never had. I thought I’d never have children after miscarriages and a stillbirth of my son. I’ve since been blessed with two girls, each to their own but my children are my greatest blessing. They are the air that I breathe.
I have one daughter. I got pregnant at 28 and had her at 29. I never had a proper relationship til i met my partner when i was 28. I always wanted children and envisioned i would have a few. But that was before becoming an adult and realizing its not easy to go to work pay bills have a steady roof over your head. I suffer with anxiety/ocd and at times depression and am a real worrier. I was ecstatic to get pregnant and have my beautiful daughter but it's not been easy as we have really struggled with her tantrums and behaviour at times which has had a negative impact on our relationship. I always wanted to be a mum, but totally get that having a child is not always easy and a lot of times you sacrifice your own personal wants needs ans happiness for them. (As it should be) I wouldn't change having my daughter for the world. She is everything to me. But i also admire those who don't feel pushed into being a mum and are happy and content and have a great life without children. At the end of the day its a very personal subject. I hare sometimes feeling an alien because we choose to have one child. But i know this is best for me mentally and my circumstances so i can only imagine how it feels to be questioned on why you dont have any. Its no one elses business
From a very early age I always knew I didn't want a child and now at 52 I'm so glad I haven't. Although I'm a very nurturing person like Kelly says she is, I feel exactly the same way and have no desire for a child at all.
I have children, for me it's the best thing that has happened to me and I sometimes wake up thinking how lucky I am! 🤩 But then there are other mornings too 😂😂 It is a personal choice and should be respected as such! ❤️
I think many people wake up everyday and thank god they don't have children! ❤ happiness shouldn't require reliance on the existence of another person, especially your child. Happiness from what you give to the world, and many people have far more to offer than replicating their genes.
It like a whole peer pressure which you carry. People will judge you and think how come you've not had children and your this age or that age. Having children and raising children is not easy. You have to seriously think on whom your building a family with and need to have a very secure relationship and open talk with the person whom is 100% in love with you and wants exactly what you want and really gonna commit and wants to build a family. Not everyone wants kids and that is there choice and is okay.
I am in my sixties never really thought much about kids was never in a relationship when younger where it got discussed about having kids i worked away most of my life i am in a long term relationship now retired but really miss not having kids now life seems hollow without them when i see young kids being happy with there parents i miss never having that the love for your child is special and to see them grow I recall my farther saying when he was elderly that he didn't realise at the time but seeing his children grow up was the happiest time of his life looking back
God the women in these comments! You’re the people they are talking about! Stop telling women how they really feel especially after they have spelt it out to you! X
The best part of being child free is freedom. The freedom of being able to enjoy the simple things. The freedom to be carefree. The freedom to be able to explore things freely. The freedom to worry less about a potential child’s safety. The freedom from being up all night because of a screaming child. The freedom to go home to a clean quiet home. The freedom from possible complications of pregnancy/childbirth. The freedom from dealing with deadbeat dads who won’t help take care of their kids. The freedom from the baby mama drama. The freedom from chasing child support checks. The freedom from being a struggling single mom who works hard but is still in debt. The freedom to have more disposable income to use as I please while saving money. The freedom from a lot of the stress from the child being sick, acting out in school, etc. I wouldn’t trade this life for ANYTHING or ANYONE (not even strangers) and idc what ANYONE says.
I respect Kelly's choice, each to their own. I was never maternal and always thought I'd never have children. My only daughter wasn't planned but I wouldn't change her for the world and have become more maternal as a result. Would I have planned to have had a child, honestly probably not.
I haven't had kids, i think it wasn't my call. I have never been asked why. I would find it insulting and disrespectful to be asked that with no good reason. I don't go around asking people why haven't they got married, or haven't bought a home or haven't wanted to travel...We all need to find our way in this life with no imposed roles.
when I was young, I just presumed I would have children. As I got older and had health problems, i though maybe I won't be able to. But I never really had the urge to have children, and now that I have seen through friends and family what it's like to have children I am sure I don't want them. It is incredibly hard work, and it can often take a huge toll on your body, sometimes causing long term problems. and really there is no guarantee your kids will turn out well, they could be sh^ts, they could move abroad and leave you on your own. they might not care for you in your old age.
To be honest I didn’t want them either at your age it was only when I hit 30 and I realised I had to make that decision realistically because of the biological clock that I did it. I was petrified but I knew baby would be loved more than anything in the world and when she was born it was a love I never knew existed. Your so young your feelings could change.
My take is that she wanted kids but it didn't work out, and the IVF route seems too exhausting for her, which she has come to term with. Bless her because she's a sweetheart -feminine, caring, beautiful on the inside and outside.
I have no children i have lost four which i found out i could get pregnant but i wouldn’t be able to carry one and thats fine i never wanted any which i told my husband in our relationship and said if thats what you want i am not the right person for you 45 yr on in a happy marriage but i have had a lot of stigma from not having them from my family and friends but i really didn’t care
On one hand it's good that people are making decisions not to have children because it's a serious matter. Having a child is not a toy you can dump later on. On the other hand, it's worrying to see what will happen to the population if people stop having kids etc long term.
I’m a mum & it was right for *me* but I’ve never understood when people fixate on _other_ people deciding *not* to have children. They seem to take it so personally. It’s very odd. Also, notice how this isn’t a significant public discussion that sits upon men? I don’t see the media zeroing in on them in this fashion. And the thing is, women ~ 30+ who get asked why they’re single, told they better get on with having a child because ‘tick tock’ / biological clock etc - it’s often due to men dragging their feet in relationships during women’s most fertile years. It’s especially been like that over the last 20-25 years.
The current birth rates are very low. Not having children will mean more pressure on us all as we age... Who will take our places and look after us, etc?
@@DanTheMan221 Many break up after the pressure of kids on relationships, difficulty in spending time and having intimacy when children require so much attention. Sometimes it needs at least just one person to push themselves to the edge to keep things together, which isn’t necessarily fair or always doable. Easily changes the bond for a couple, not all but many. Some stay together but a romantic relationship doesn’t even exist. I remember a friends parents separated as soon as their youngest turned 21, they waited until they were all out of the nest.
@@mothgirlx6707 What's the percentages of people who break up, as you said many? Also, I'd suggest their relationship wasn't very strong to begin with... Child of course need a lot of attention in the early years....
Here’s what I find disgusting about how women see this issue. If you don’t want to have children for whatever reason that is totally fine but what I find disgusting is that nobody wants to be honest with younger women when it comes to taking advantage of their youth and beauty so that they can make the best choice possible for the path in life they would like to take. If women want to have children, then the message should be prioritize, your youth and beauty to find a partner who you trust and want to build a life with or if you are a woman who wants to take a different path. The fact that any women are shocked when they hit their 30s and men are no longer throwing themselves at them or willing to give them the same kind of leeway they might have in their 20s should be a clear sign that women are sabotaging one another. If women were doing their job of mentoring younger generations of women then there would be less misery for women in there early 30s and older that are upset that they can’t find a partner or start a family. To reiterate, everybody is free to make their own choice in life, but I think it’s the responsibility of society and the elders of that demographic to share the ins and outs in realities of their choices in life.
We’re not just breeding machines ..if i knew what I know now I would have stopped at one .., teen years are a nightmare and not a lot of thanks for all you for them …
I honestly think if you are someone who truly wants kids, you know you do really early on. I think a lot of couples who torture them selves with IVF later in life are honestly in panic mode and have a fear of missing out, or that they need to accomplish it. Don’t get me wrong I’m sure they worship the children they have if successful but I think they would have probably been ok with not having kids as well deep down if not for other factors and pressure. I knew from a very early age that I wanted to be a mom, it was all I wanted. That’s ok for me and to not want that is ok for others. Just be happy.
Im a single woman and im 40 and I just haven't met the right person within the right time frame to have kids. I dont have the money to have IVF. People make the assumption that I have chosen not to have kids and in a way I have... I haven't found the right person to have kids with and took precautions not to get pregnant in relationships that ultimately ended. I really feel in grief currently because most likely im not gonna have children but I keep that to myself as it's hard to explain to people and weirdly I feel awkward and embarrassed about it. People dont have kids for different reasons. Thanks for talking about the subject.
❤just to give my story…I’m 44 and about to have a baby…so there is hope ❤
I feel this. Take a look at Gateway Women- there is useful info and a community of women who are childless. Also a list of therapists who specialise in working with childless women.
Same here didn't find anyone to get married & have kids
40 is young! Trust life. Being an auntie or godmother is wonderful also!
I am 43 & just didn't find TrueLove yet to have a family with. People assume I didn't want to or couldn't. Some of us wanted to be in Love first & then create a family from that commitment. It just didn't happen young like it did for others.
A lot of people who have kids shouldn’t have had them. Some terrible parents about these days.
Mine included.
🤣🤣👍@@EdelweisSusie
Absolutely.
Unfortunately there’s always been terrible parents, some more than others, in different ways and different eras and there will always be.
The way I see it is if a person realises is not happy to be a parent, give the child up for adoption because there are many good people who can’t have children or they do have but would like to add more, believe me they would be doing both the child and the new parent a favour.
I asked my mother when I was a child to do this and she just looked at me.
Some people would refuse to give their children up for adoption or fostering even if they would be in a better place because they hold onto ideas and illusions that family is everything and are quite possessive about it but let me tell you this what if someone is ill and a family member cannot donate their part?
They have to find a compatible donor that can be any random stranger willing to help.
I said this but I also know that adoption is not an easy process and the adoptive parent also has to be prepared to lose that child if things really aren’t what they seem and/or if circumstances change.
Agree have them for free housing and benefits
I have children but I honestly don’t care if someone doesn’t. I’ve never asked a woman why she doesn’t. It’s almost 2025 and we’re still talking about this. Why??
Next year next week Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday
Same. I had children because I wanted to create my own family, I don't care what other people do, it doesn't affect me whether my friends or family members don't have children. It boggles my mind why so many people get so wound up about it!
I’m divorced 19 yrs., I get asked if I’ve met anyone. I have taught around the world.🌎 women are belittled all the time time…
Yeah also why is it anyone's business? Lol , it's actually interesting hearing Kelly Brooke speak ,as I assumed she had kids...but now it makes sense, about all the miscarriages she's had and the strain on her health etc. some people want kids and some don't , it's a personal choice. Plus nobody knows what someone has gone through,or how they're feeling at the end of the day 🫶 💁♀️.
You may not care but apparently according to women who don’t have children (including me) a lot of people are still interested in questioning this!
The way this world is I'm.glad at 49 years old I stuck by my decision to not have children .
me too!! :)
Exactly you've saved another person from the suffering of this horrible world 😣
Same here, 49, childfree by choice and proud of it too. 😊
Well you won’t now too old
@@pammy35 😂
From the age of 18 I never wanted children I’m now 62 but I was always told by other women I would regret it and I can say to those women who told me that there has never been a day where I have regretted my choice.
Exactly the same for me at 61. When I see the news I'm so glad and relieved I didn't have children. What a world we live in!
@@BeatrizR-b8q I totally agree we live in scary times.
I’m 66 years old. At times I have regretted it. There is a stigma attached to not having children. So called friends have excluded me many times where their parent friends were invited. I think the people of the pram today are very entitled. So I’m very glad I’m not young today.
@@Sally-qu3kz yep. ChildFREE people don't tend to regret not having kids. Nonetheless, it is better to regret NOT having kids than to have them and regret having them. The former only affects you, but the latter negatively affects both you AND the kid(s) who didn't and couldn't even consent to coming into existence in the first place.
I'm with you I never wanted children since age 16 a now in my 40s still feel strongly about not wanting any
She's lovely. - What a beautiful lady inside and out. Thank you Kelly - this has been on my mind and at 41 I've felt so anxious about not meeting the right person not having the opportunity etc but your video has given me peace. I needed to see this today - thank you
There are so many women out there starting to talk about this and not having children for many reasons, few which I’m glad Kelly has shared, trust me you are far from alone. Even new gen are going down that path. Anyone in society who can’t accept this are behind the times.
I'm 49 and single with no kids and love it. All through choice. I just think when people are so bothered by it I wind them up by giving them a hug and say 'don't get upset about it, you'll get over this'. Gets them every time!
Brilliant response! 🙌
Get cats lol
I'm elergic to them 🤦 I was thinking more Jack Daniels than a Jack Russell as well 😂
I'm 41 years. Still no children. I have poor finances and health issues. So that is partly why I never had a kid. I'm very lucky I have a brilliant nephew who I spoil regularly. It's up to the individual whether they want kids or not. No one should be forced to have kids. I wish people should stop asking us women if we want kids or want to married. Leave us alone.
Honestly, as a mum myself, to me the point that you evaluated those factors means you’re more responsible & thoughtful than many people who _do_ have children. Congratulations on being a quality person, quality auntie (I’m sure I’d have adored having such an auntie) & living your most fulfilled life.
When I was 12 I decided not to have children solely in order to break generational curses. Whilst always being happy with my decision I was totally unprepared for the vitriol from other women - it's been horrendous! Because they view me as financially stable, carefree, career focussed, continually educating myself etc it shines a spotlight on their lives of drudgery, financial hardship, stuck in a boring job they haven't got the qualifications to get out of - and they hate me for it. So I retired when I was 55.
Life is about family. Not money. Unless that’s your main value in life. If you are sad and depressed. Who do you want to go to. Money or your mother.
12?
Behave, you can’t make those decisions when you’re 12. All well and good being retired at 55 but family beats any of that other stuff hands down
@@nicgreen6501 For YOU it might, but not to others
@@sarahyaghini9430The original commenter spoke about horrible comments from others, and you are giving a great example of that. How do you know this person doesn't have any family? And even if they are focused only on money, they aren't obligated to make it about family if that's not what they want. Why do you think it's your right to push your values onto another person?
Nothing wrong with continuing to be an Adventurous, Attractive, still desirable women in your mid 30s- mid 40s and stopping the planet being over populated whilst having a relationship that isn't based on 'having kids' or even being single and doing your own thing and not being made to feel guilty about it. Well Done Kel. Found the Sweet Spot others miss so much with BS '
'Social Pressures'
Wouldn't have them in this horrible world today😢
Me either and I will NEVER take a chance at being a single mom.
I admire Kelly for voicing her opinion and every woman should feel free to make that choice without judgement if thats what they want.
Yes it's very frustrating when people immediately question "Why?" disapprovingly. Not everyone wants the responsibility or spend the time rearing a child and some people it just doesn't suit them.
@@greenkitty82celebrating infertility is the new age 😢
@@SherenovatingdamphouseNo more like celebrating freedom of choice.
One can be happy in many ways.
Really, what do you mean?
@autumn5852 we can live in a city or the country, live single or married, choose to have children, choose our style. There is no one strict road to follow in order to be happy.
@ 👍🏽 I agree with that :)
Happy 😊 😃 😊😊😊😊
I’m 33 in a few months and I am also married and happy. Although I love children , I don’t think that I want to have my own. If I think about having children , I feel it’s only because of the pressure and that “this is what you suppose to do at your age “ .
I felt the same as you but when they get to that age when they put their arms around you and say I love you mummy it really is an overwhelming love🫠🤍
Yes that's the culturescape planting seeds into peoples minds that it's something they must do but we all have our own identities and we choose what lives we want. To have a child just to please others is just not being true to yourself. Kids are very sweet and adorable souls but I think it's very different spending time with kids which you can then give back to actually being responsible for one. I'm very content with nurturing in other ways each day and letting the women who do really want kids do their job.
You need to make your mind up asap otherwise you're too old very soon!
People can’t afford to have kids. You need huge salaries to support a family.
So why are other cultures in the UK having 3 to 5 kids?
Really?? people seem to manage it everywhere in the world. Money is an excuse for people who just don't want kids.
I know people with huge salaries who have no interest in having children. It's just not fashionable no more people just don't want responsibilities.
@@GenevieveJenevieve Universal Credit seems to support many!
No you don't, if you want your kid to live like North West, then sure. If you have a standard nuclear family, then you can indeed provide the basics. Being a single parent however is another conversation.
Full respect to Kelly,I can relate to what she's saying as I'm only a few years younger and get bored to death with people's reactions when they realize you haven't got any. It's not the be and end all of everything,I love my freedom and independence and I adore my dog and cat. They're my babies and a lot cheaper and a whole lot less stressful 😊 Kelly still looks beautiful and young,maybe that's not having kids either 🤣
Freedom and independence? None of us have that. Do you have a job, a mortgage? Family and friends who sometimes depend on you? Is money a constraint that denies you freedom? Do you live live in your dream home? Do you have unlimited health? Having children doesn't suddenly make you a shackled human being - you're already shackled - but it does give you an un paralleled human experience. It's like bringing up a clone who is 'you' but not quite 'you' and seeing them go through milestones and growth is beyond any reward you could chase in wealth, career or leisure. You simply chose comfort because you're too into yourself. Comfort is the biggest killer on the planet
I was thinking Kelly’s looking really well too
I think it's up to the person None of any body's business.
Yes I agree with you Cathy. I'm in my 40s and don't have children through choice and if some women want them and really want that in their lives to be content great. As Kelly says I nurture in other ways and get great joy from that, especially to animals and for charity 🐶🐱 We are all different with different goals and some people don't want the responsibility of rearing a child so I don't understand why people still have issues with people's life choices. I think at the core it's a controlling expectation of I'm doing it so why aren't you thing but others need to just focus on their lives and live and let live.
I have children-now 26 and 23. Loved raising them and they are great adults. But I have friends who didn’t want kids. That’s fine. After all these years are still the best ‘Aunts and Uncles’ ever to my boys . I gave up my career, happily to raise my children. My opinion is you can’t have it all.
And you are so right about that in my opinion. 👏
Motherhood tends to ruin women's careers
@@abbeyjane5014didnt ruin it, just changed my patn😊
I always wonder when people are older or elderly if they regret making the decision not to have children?
@@Bea_RosyI have a 69 year old sister who has never regretted her choice to not have children, but, she is an amazing Aunty😊 I still have my moments where I wonder how absolutely wonderful she is with my kids, but never had the desire for her own………,
YESSS Kelly to this empowering message. I never knew her history with this. We need more open, honest conversations like this! When she said that period of time and being asked those questions was like a burden - i felt that deeply. I feel exactly the same and very happily childfree by choice.
People should never ask a woman when she is going to have a child - I think it is a really personal question 🌸🌸
I agree - it’s so presumptuous
Im a 55 year old man and my 26 year old son is the greatest gift ive ever had....
That’s great but not sure how it relates to what Kelly is talking about lol
@@moominmay The topic is wanting or not wanting children, so it is very relevant!
@@moominmay maybe you should watch the video again
@@moominmayit relates in that commenters mind. Who are you to interpret Kelly's message?
I like it when people give me gifts too
I never had a maternal instinct and hated how everyone constantly asked me when i was going to have children. I then met my current partner and had a bad time during covid where it made me realise that i wanted a family and fun times like i did as a kid. So we both decided to try at 33 and its the best decision i ever made. Couldnt imagine life without my son ❤
It’s a love that’s so powerful and unique 😊
People need to stop saying they’ve not had children because they’re ‘selfish’ and wanted to focus on other personal goals - what’s actually selfish is having kids for the wrong reason (e.g loneliness), neglecting them or having too many thus causing financial/psychological hardship - the list goes on!
I have an identical twin sister. At the same moment she knew she wanted children, I knew I didn't. That never changed. We are now 57. Our parents and family only wanted us to be happy. Stigma is nonsense. You create your own life and are responsible for the choices you make. The quote I love the most? 'What others think of you, is none of your business'
Some people has told me they dreamed to have children from a very early age. And many people has told me they have had children because they don't want to be alone which, in my opinion is a very selfish reason
People can adopt there's so many children without parents. Stop pestering people, this is so refreshing 😅
Those children are usually very traumatised and have behavioural difficulties. There aren't many babies up for adoption now.
@London719 You can adopt babies/children. The government website(March 24) on adoption states there is a shortage of adopters.
It's very hard to adopt, as it should be but it's not like you can just decide and do it.
Adoption is great when done well, I agree. But it’s extremely difficult to adopt in many countries, eg. Australia, where I live. Stats: There were 201 adoptions finalised in Australia in 2022-23. Compared to 1971-72, the number of adoptions has declined by 98% from 9,798.
These days, with the world outlook being so catastrophic, the question should be why anyone would choose to have children. Well done Kelly.
💯 This world/society is cruel enough even for adults
I have often thought the very same thing. It seems wholly selfish to bring a kid into the world and potential future we are heading for. It’s a massively selfish thing to do anyway, in reality, no parent is doing it for their imagined baby, they are always fulfilling their own needs. Whether they should or not.
@PaladinesAngel this is an extremely western take. The world has been a dark place before and it is no more dark today then previous times have been. Children bring hope and healing with them, and give us a chance at change.
@cbpaddingtonbear2606 I can only say what I see, Westernised or not, and we should not place that burden on children.
@@PaladinesAngel The sad thing is you probably think that's your own opinion.
I've never understood why its ever been anyone else's business. One argument I hear is "who's going to look after you when you're older" when we forget most peoples kids barely visit their elderly parents more than once a month.
I can't count the number of MEN who've said to me over the years: "Do you know - I love my kids but if I had my life to live over, I wouldn't have had any". Which just goes to demonstrate that they have them more often than not to prove to their peers that they're capable of fathering a child and to conform to society's expectations of them. Stuff that!
@@EdelweisSusie I have never heard any man or men say that...
I have heard this too
@@DanTheMan221I would say that every man who has children has said that to me actually. Im sure women think this often too but would never admit it. Men don’t care so they just blab on
@NBl-qw8cgLiterally never heard someone say this. All childfree people I know are happy, well off, and enjoy their free weekends
@@thettproject4534 I've children and know many men who also are fathers... Not one has ever said that to me! I simply don't believe you! The only debate many said is the time of their lives they become dad's, some may if wished earlier or later depending.... You are clearly a childless person!
To all the people saying what a cruel world to bring a child into, is like saying its a mistake you were even born. You lack the courage to face evil and do good.
I have 2 children and I dread to think of how hollow life would feel without them.
No comment,but I lost my baby just early thirties,never got over it.
Sorry for your loss
So sorry.
There’s nothing selfish about choosing not to have children, at any age or for any reason.
Honestly that yearning is what i feel about having another cat 😂 children? Nope.
Same 😂
You can never have enough cats!😻
Yeap, dog in my case 😂
Yep don't want human children, but I love my cat baby so much 😻
Me too we adore our Teddy he’s our little baby 🎉
I am in my early 30s and get asked when I'm having children, happens to us men too. Never say never but quite happy right now without children.
For all those thinking/saying _"sHe mAy rEgReT iT wHeN sHe'S oLdEr"_ ...🙄 ChildFREE people don't tend to regret not having kids. But most importantly, it's incredibly selfish to bring a *whole individual human being* into this awful world full of guaranteed unpredictable and unpreventable suffering just in case you MAY (very big 'may') regret it. It is better to regret NOT having kids than to have them and regret having them. The former only affects you, but the latter negatively affects both you AND the kid(s) who didn't and couldn't even consent to coming into existence in the first place.
Very hard to regret something popular…you can’t remember wanting. Do their lives seem rich for it? Sure, but so is yours in countless ways.
It then becomes about fear of later life.
I’ll be happy & secure then too. Always been, always will be.
Oh my god! This is what I have said ALL along. My future mother in law can't accept that I don't want kids and keeps making snide comments. My partner completely gets my reasoning and accepts that I won't kids. I would ALWAYS prefer to regret NOT having kids as opposed to having kids. If I had kids when I didn't want them, there is a the risk I'd resent that child and that I am a mum which would not be fair on the child at all, plus it would be soul destroying for myself knowing I am partly resenting that child, and not giving them 110% of my love and the love they deserve. I wish that more people understood this.
They probably say this because if people realise what it would really be like to be committed to raise children the rest of their life with sacrifices, less may have them. There’s plenty of children still born into the world so we have no population issue as such
You can’t miss something you’ve never had. I thought I’d never have children after miscarriages and a stillbirth of my son. I’ve since been blessed with two girls, each to their own but my children are my greatest blessing. They are the air that I breathe.
Agree. I bet she was sobbing in the car on the way home
Exactly I don’t I just rejoice in the peace and quiet instead
Not all woman want children. It's their choice.
Some mothers definately shouldnt of had children just because it was once "expected" by society.
It's not choice for many. We can't afford it.
Bravo to Kelly for speaking about this so eloquently. She is speaking for all women for feel happy and fulfilled with a child-free life! ❤️
Holding your child is the best gift in the world and there is no greater love than that. Having children is not for everyone.
I have one daughter. I got pregnant at 28 and had her at 29. I never had a proper relationship til i met my partner when i was 28. I always wanted children and envisioned i would have a few. But that was before becoming an adult and realizing its not easy to go to work pay bills have a steady roof over your head. I suffer with anxiety/ocd and at times depression and am a real worrier. I was ecstatic to get pregnant and have my beautiful daughter but it's not been easy as we have really struggled with her tantrums and behaviour at times which has had a negative impact on our relationship. I always wanted to be a mum, but totally get that having a child is not always easy and a lot of times you sacrifice your own personal wants needs ans happiness for them. (As it should be) I wouldn't change having my daughter for the world. She is everything to me. But i also admire those who don't feel pushed into being a mum and are happy and content and have a great life without children. At the end of the day its a very personal subject. I hare sometimes feeling an alien because we choose to have one child. But i know this is best for me mentally and my circumstances so i can only imagine how it feels to be questioned on why you dont have any. Its no one elses business
Nothing wrong whatsoever with having only one child. They don’t feel left out or suffer sibling rivalry, they have your attention and love 100%! 😊
From a very early age I always knew I didn't want a child and now at 52 I'm so glad I haven't. Although I'm a very nurturing person like Kelly says she is, I feel exactly the same way and have no desire for a child at all.
I have children, for me it's the best thing that has happened to me and I sometimes wake up thinking how lucky I am! 🤩 But then there are other mornings too 😂😂 It is a personal choice and should be respected as such! ❤️
I think many people wake up everyday and thank god they don't have children! ❤ happiness shouldn't require reliance on the existence of another person, especially your child. Happiness from what you give to the world, and many people have far more to offer than replicating their genes.
Well done Kelly, I couldnt agree with you more!!! Thank you❤❤❤
She lost a child so people need to realise that psychologically this will have been immensely tough get her 😢
Kelly, you are an exceptional woman!
It like a whole peer pressure which you carry. People will judge you and think how come you've not had children and your this age or that age. Having children and raising children is not easy. You have to seriously think on whom your building a family with and need to have a very secure relationship and open talk with the person whom is 100% in love with you and wants exactly what you want and really gonna commit and wants to build a family. Not everyone wants kids and that is there choice and is okay.
So eloquently explained kelly ❤
Yes Kelly it's totally okay to not want kids!! Go live your best life 🧬🧬💪🏽💪🏽
She had two miscarriages when she was in her earlier relationship. It probably broke her heart too much😢
She had 7 miscarriages in total
Or it's as she says, didn't really want children. Listen to her honest open words.
Very refreshing to hear Kelly.
@@amandajoyce6619 I don't know her but if she had 7 miscarriages that absolutely factored into her desire to not have children
@@sjanex imagine the strain on her body and health, so it's understandable .
I am in my sixties never really thought much about kids was never in a relationship when younger where it got discussed about having kids i worked away most of my life i am in a long term relationship now retired but really miss not having kids now life seems hollow without them when i see young kids being happy with there parents i miss never having that the love for your child is special and to see them grow I recall my farther saying when he was elderly that he didn't realise at the time but seeing his children grow up was the happiest time of his life looking back
Good on Kelly for sharing this, words of wisdom.
It's been 25 years and I still can't get over the name of the show 😂
I have no desire to have children.
I wouldn't want children in the UK a whole new culture will eventually take over.
Me either.
If women are just not maternal then they have other gifts to give to the world.
Yes, like art
God the women in these comments! You’re the people they are talking about! Stop telling women how they really feel especially after they have spelt it out to you! X
Some women in this comment section showing exactly how women react to women not having children.
Thing is while its natural for SOME to want kids.... Its just as Natural for some to NOT want kids
Yes
Children bring a whole different beauty to your life
For you maybe, not for everyone
Shes awesome! What a fabulous woman.
Such a boring subject. Either have them or don’t and if people ask, simply tell them it’s none of their business or you don’t want to discuss it 🤷🏽♀️
Not really a boring subject when so many women have kids because society pressures them to
The best part of being child free is freedom. The freedom of being able to enjoy the simple things. The freedom to be carefree. The freedom to be able to explore things freely. The freedom to worry less about a potential child’s safety. The freedom from being up all night because of a screaming child. The freedom to go home to a clean quiet home. The freedom from possible complications of pregnancy/childbirth. The freedom from dealing with deadbeat dads who won’t help take care of their kids. The freedom from the baby mama drama. The freedom from chasing child support checks. The freedom from being a struggling single mom who works hard but is still in debt. The freedom to have more disposable income to use as I please while saving money. The freedom from a lot of the stress from the child being sick, acting out in school, etc. I wouldn’t trade this life for ANYTHING or ANYONE (not even strangers) and idc what ANYONE says.
I respect Kelly's choice, each to their own. I was never maternal and always thought I'd never have children. My only daughter wasn't planned but I wouldn't change her for the world and have become more maternal as a result. Would I have planned to have had a child, honestly probably not.
Look at Frankie and Kelle not buying a word Kelly is saying 😂
Love this! Good for you Kelly 👌🏾
What a beautiful lady
Kelly Brook is 🌹
I commend Kelly and the ladies for sharing, so brave 💗
I haven't had kids, i think it wasn't my call. I have never been asked why. I would find it insulting and disrespectful to be asked that with no good reason. I don't go around asking people why haven't they got married, or haven't bought a home or haven't wanted to travel...We all need to find our way in this life with no imposed roles.
It’s so frustrating that women tell other women they have to have kids… why is it a must ?!
Despicable behaviour by other women in all honesty
when I was young, I just presumed I would have children. As I got older and had health problems, i though maybe I won't be able to. But I never really had the urge to have children, and now that I have seen through friends and family what it's like to have children I am sure I don't want them. It is incredibly hard work, and it can often take a huge toll on your body, sometimes causing long term problems. and really there is no guarantee your kids will turn out well, they could be sh^ts, they could move abroad and leave you on your own. they might not care for you in your old age.
It’s such a personal question! I don’t believe it’s anyone’s business 🤷🏻♀️
The 2 questions they always ask; are you dating/married?
and Do you have kids?
That yearning I can relate too, it hit me at around 28, it was so so strong x
I'm a 22 yr old guy and definitely Don't want kids , absolute waste of money,,, rather spend it on something else...
A first date?
To be honest I didn’t want them either at your age it was only when I hit 30 and I realised I had to make that decision realistically because of the biological clock that I did it. I was petrified but I knew baby would be loved more than anything in the world and when she was born it was a love I never knew existed. Your so young your feelings could change.
@@SilverSparkles22 Not into dating...
In 2024 I don’t believe there is this kind of pressure on couples. People understand.
Younger people understand. Many older people are less understanding. It also can vary greatly between cultures and religions.
I’m 31 and engaged and not sure if I want kids for many reasons yet I get asked all the time by people 🙃 I wish they would stop
Oh you didn't know much.
It's when they stop asking, that's when you need to worry.
Do they? Coming from Poland, there is a huge social pressure to get married and have children.
you dont have to have children end of
My take is that she wanted kids but it didn't work out, and the IVF route seems too exhausting for her, which she has come to term with.
Bless her because she's a sweetheart -feminine, caring, beautiful on the inside and outside.
Well done for coming at this with such confidence, Kelly
Well said Kelly! We can be a nutlrturing women and not have children. Caring and nurturing comes in so many forms ❤
I have no children i have lost four which i found out i could get pregnant but i wouldn’t be able to carry one and thats fine i never wanted any which i told my husband in our relationship and said if thats what you want i am not the right person for you 45 yr on in a happy marriage but i have had a lot of stigma from not having them from my family and friends but i really didn’t care
Absolutely nothing wrong with not having or wanting children. I am in my 40s and I never wanted children.
On one hand it's good that people are making decisions not to have children because it's a serious matter. Having a child is not a toy you can dump later on.
On the other hand, it's worrying to see what will happen to the population if people stop having kids etc long term.
I’m a mum & it was right for *me* but I’ve never understood when people fixate on _other_ people deciding *not* to have children. They seem to take it so personally. It’s very odd.
Also, notice how this isn’t a significant public discussion that sits upon men? I don’t see the media zeroing in on them in this fashion. And the thing is, women ~ 30+ who get asked why they’re single, told they better get on with having a child because ‘tick tock’ / biological clock etc - it’s often due to men dragging their feet in relationships during women’s most fertile years. It’s especially been like that over the last 20-25 years.
Guys do talk about having children when they are out. I think it is unfair to stereotype like this
Better to decide no children than constantly have relationships then falling pregnant many times then killing innocent unborn children
Which is better than bringing them into the world and can’t look after them
Good for her. Congratulations ❤️
The amount of women shaming other women here is embarrassing.
Love Kelly on here.
The current birth rates are very low. Not having children will mean more pressure on us all as we age... Who will take our places and look after us, etc?
Immigrants
@jacobs3031 yes, they'll replace us, that's the issue! All theses people here saying "so what" about not having children, haven't got a clue!
So your reasoning for having children is for someone to take care of you when youre old? Sounds a bit selfish.
@@am5783 read the comment again...
What about people just mind their own business and let people live their lives?
I think kids actually ruin relationships
Explain... Couldn't a person suggest the opposite?
@@DanTheMan221 Many break up after the pressure of kids on relationships, difficulty in spending time and having intimacy when children require so much attention. Sometimes it needs at least just one person to push themselves to the edge to keep things together, which isn’t necessarily fair or always doable. Easily changes the bond for a couple, not all but many. Some stay together but a romantic relationship doesn’t even exist. I remember a friends parents separated as soon as their youngest turned 21, they waited until they were all out of the nest.
@@mothgirlx6707 What's the percentages of people who break up, as you said many?
Also, I'd suggest their relationship wasn't very strong to begin with... Child of course need a lot of attention in the early years....
@@DanTheMan221 Situations like kids often affect relationships whether they’re strong or not, there’s enough real life accounts out there to show that
@@mothgirlx6707 again, show me the data... As you keep making this claim without any evidence?
Here’s what I find disgusting about how women see this issue. If you don’t want to have children for whatever reason that is totally fine but what I find disgusting is that nobody wants to be honest with younger women when it comes to taking advantage of their youth and beauty so that they can make the best choice possible for the path in life they would like to take. If women want to have children, then the message should be prioritize, your youth and beauty to find a partner who you trust and want to build a life with or if you are a woman who wants to take a different path. The fact that any women are shocked when they hit their 30s and men are no longer throwing themselves at them or willing to give them the same kind of leeway they might have in their 20s should be a clear sign that women are sabotaging one another.
If women were doing their job of mentoring younger generations of women then there would be less misery for women in there early 30s and older that are upset that they can’t find a partner or start a family.
To reiterate, everybody is free to make their own choice in life, but I think it’s the responsibility of society and the elders of that demographic to share the ins and outs in realities of their choices in life.
I’m 41 and I don’t have the desire to have children. However, I’m sure being a parent is wonderful (mostly).
It's okay.There are many of us out there.
We’re not just breeding machines ..if i knew what I know now I would have stopped at one .., teen years are a nightmare and not a lot of thanks for all you for them …
Beautiful natural woman ❤❤❤
Why does this need to be explained.
Guys do ask and pressure other men actually
Good.
@TaxingIsThieving why good lol it's rude to ask ANYONE I think. If they don't have kids don't start mentioning kids.
I won't have kids ever
Great...
I honestly think if you are someone who truly wants kids, you know you do really early on. I think a lot of couples who torture them selves with IVF later in life are honestly in panic mode and have a fear of missing out, or that they need to accomplish it. Don’t get me wrong I’m sure they worship the children they have if successful but I think they would have probably been ok with not having kids as well deep down if not for other factors and pressure.
I knew from a very early age that I wanted to be a mom, it was all I wanted. That’s ok for me and to not want that is ok for others. Just be happy.