"Tear-filled, delicate hand-jobs" is not only one of the unexpected and funniest sequences of words I've ever heard, it's also an accurate description of what a non-Mormon guy who dates a Mormon girl can probably expect.
I accidentally prophesied that my friend who was studying dentistry would be bishop when I came home from his mission. Lo and behold, I come back and he's bishop. My mission president was also a dentist.
@@ZelphOntheShelf lol my issue with those places was always, which one will make my lactose intolerance act up the LEAST 😬 can't be stinking up your "group date" of about 10 kids.
The tone of the bishop's voice is SO, SO creepy. His behavior is so invasive and creepy. The outtakes to this are DEFINITELY him making her reenact her "sin" with him. Soooo uncomfortable.
That interview style has been done with singles for decades. It looks creepy since you're looking through a lens from 2021. This was filmed nearly 30 years ago.
Ugh, this is honestly traumatizing. We watched this in Seminary when I was 15/ in 2010. This video scared the hell out of me, and made me feel awful. It made me feel like you could never fully/actually repent. It honestly scarred me. It's wild to see this again. Ugh, it's just so harmful. Thanks for your commentary. 💞✨
It reminds me of when I was a teenager in the 90s. At the same time there was a girl and boy who at the same time got caught “misbehaving.” Just not with each other. The boy got a, “no no don’t do that again.” In private. The girl got the public shaming. The worst part, she was a victim of sex abuse and had never learned how to say no. Looking back, I hope she’s escaped that toxicity and is having a good life.
I used to teach sex ed in high schools (the good kind) and the 'hierarchy' of sex acts was one of the things we always pushed students to unlearn! Intimacy isn't about checking off the boxes.
I was having a bad day and missing my family back in Utah, I so glad you uploaded this before I went to bed :) My mom officially left the church publically on Facebook recently and she told me she started figuring it out because she came across one of y'all's church history debunking Kwaku's bad apologetics videos. You are now a part of my family, for the record ♡
I love that her clothes got more modest each session too. When she was finally clean she was in a long sleeve plain shirt vs at the beginning a scandalous blue short sleeve dress!
And the end of the story, the boyfriend went on to be Two-Face in Batman and crash a plane into the Hudson with Sully Sullenberg. BTW Aaron Eckhardt was my Home Teaching companion for a brief time at BYU. I remember he was in the film dept. We were the worst Home Teachers ever
I searched the comments for this, couldn't place him, assumed he was in some straight to vid shoot em ups or something but hes an actual actor, and to think, had it not have been for some dude getting a tear filled hand job, he could have been stuck in a young temple marriage and this clearly added a chance for him to show off his dramatic chops in this seminal role.
Comparing this to my pre-wedding meetings with my rabbi is so wild. She asked us if we had discussed children, money, how and and where we wanted to live, if we had fights and how we dealt with them, and how we were doing with both our families. You know, like pre- marriage counseling to not get together without knowing each other or having talked about important topics first.
I really want to remake this shot for shot and fill in the dialogue. "Bishop, I killed someone." "No problem." "I embezzled $500,000." "As long as you paid tithing one it you're good." "I kissed my partner...and used tongue." "Kim, I'm going to have to take your recommend."
I remember watching this at church around the year 2000 when I was 15....what a gem..... definitely didn't help with my feelings of unworthiness from being sexually abused as a child. So messed up!
Would you guys ever read the Miracle of Forgiveness and talk about it? I found it on my mom's shelf, and suddenly a lot of her horrible teachings made more sense.
They made everyone read it who confessed to the bishop. It made you want to kill yourself, and hate yourself for the rest of your life. Also must've made the Kimball family very rich. I buy them when I see them at DI, and will probably burn them so nobody ever reads them.
Two seventies in the last year have denounced the book publicly. Deseret bookstore will no longer sell it. So that tells you why it is not used as much as previous decades.
@@scottbrandon6244 scott honey stop trying to defend this cult and its atrocities just own up that it's bad my guy. you're fucking embarrassing yourself you tool just like I did.
If Godly shame is what she should have been worried about, then the clips of her confessing to all those people should not have been in this film and it should have just shown her repenting. The church was literally contradicting itself in the film. (shocker)
When i was young, my mom caught me looking at porn, the next sunday the bishop called me into his office and told him his job was to watch over his flock and the spirit told him i might have a problem with pornography. It was then i realized that if the bishop would lie about the spirit.. everyone else in the church would too.
I am a 97 baby and I remember watching this. Literally all it did was convince me TO THE EXTREME to never talk to the bishop about literally anything. I lied so much to every single bishop 😅 and I only feel bad because two of them were actually genuinely nice dudes, I just didn't wanna deal with getting in trouble
This movie was released long after I was in YW...in the 80s... I lied to my Bishop all the time...even back then. I lied about my goals to get the coveted YW medallion. I lied about doing Senimary work daily (we had Seminary before church on Sundays...nor a heavy Mormon population)...hell, I lied about my testimony every fast Sunday.
All my teen years were in the 90's and I somehow missed this Mormon video. This is a total typical Mormon video. I appreciate your commentary because it reminds of why I left that church. Love you guys!
I saw this in seminary circa 2013. There are a lot of old cringy propaganda movies that would make good reaction content, like the one where the high school kids learn a valuable lesson about judging others when they see their (Mormon) high school teacher holding a cup of coffee, only to learn that she was bringing it to a co-worker.
@@miguelthealpaca8971 True, but it would have been so much better, like, if it had the kids tattling to their bishop about the coffee, and the bishop telling them it's not their concern, because it implied that they SHOULD do something if they know a fellow Saint is doing something so awful as drinking bean water.
@@luddlowvertakaclydecowley5905 yeah, true. I think the whole telling the bishop about other's behaviour is more of a Utah thing, which spreads into BYU and the mission field and maybe a few congregations outside of the mountain states. I went for a job interview at a pharmacy and my interviewer told me that Mormons are supposed to tell their bishop about other's wrongdoing and I told her I've never heard anything about this. She was worried about it cos if a single Mormon were to use a contraceptive, I would have to report it to the bishop and that would conflict with the pharmacy's policy of confidentiality.
@@luddlowvertakaclydecowley5905 bean water😂😂😂😂😂😂 I will forever call it that now. I’m off to pick up my little one from kindergarten and I will also be picking up a bean water for myself.
I love what you said about the feeling of empowerment a bishop gets from controlling the repentance process and how that helps him to feel like a congregation leader. So true and never thought of it that way
So, I had this thought while watching this, that the church should watch it and apply it to actually repenting for their racist practices and doctrines. Here’s a few time stamps with important lessons the church could learn: 7:14-Bishop: true repentance is more than just stopping the bad behavior 13:28 Bishop: you’ve been so caught with the social consequences of your mistakes and the worldly sorrow they bring you haven’t left room to consider the eternal consequences. 14:49- bishop: right now, what is your biggest concern? Kim: how can I face everyone?! Bishop: shouldn’t the question be, “how can I face the Lord?” 15:23 bishop: you should be feeling godly sorrow. 15:34 bishop: I think it begins with our ability to see our sins as he sees them, not as we see them. 16:26 Bishop: Godly sorrow is a deep realization that our actions have offended our father [in heaven.] 22:03 Bishop: Godly sorrow is not meant to be a punishment. It’s a purposeful thing. A gift of the spirit, a feeling of sorrow that precedes true repentance. So go ahead mormon church, feel that godly sorrow for your racist traditions, and don’t worry about the social consequences of owning up to it, just know you offended God and need to feel that godly sorrow and view it as a gift from God, and part of true repentance.
Omg.. I feel screwed up and damaged from being raised Catholic. I can't imagine how I would be if I was raised Mormon. This is siiick. And you guys kill me, you are hilarious.
@@godlessfornicater I was one of the first to have a baby out of wedlock too and I was technically a teen mom plus my babys father was not a member so I'm a double disappointment in their eyes. My catholic grandmother was dead by then but my grandpa acted like I was next to hitler 😒 he cringes when he sees my tattoo too. Now my younger cousins all have sleeves and have kids outta wedlock and are not in the church so I'm one of the best ones now 😂 I think its more because my oldest is almost 8 and they want her baptized so they don't say anything now. 🙄
Bishop: That's it? Girl: Yeah... B: Are you sure? G: Yes! Bishop removing hands from under the table: I am very dissatisfied with you! You could have at least make something up!..
And not allowing people to have a dirty sense of humour leads to embarrassing situations like the advert of 'Behold I am coming soon' on the side of a bus.' Yeah....might want to rethink that one! 😅
I remember having an interview like this when I had sex in hs. They wont let you hint at anything. They just sit there and look at you and wait for you to say exactly what happened and then ask for more details. Ugh. Worst experience.
Ugh... 90s kid here. We had this video ON VHS tape in my home and my dad made me (only daughter) watch it repeatedly as a teenager. Don't think I realized how traumatizing that was until I started processing it today with y'all. Thanks for that.
2:42 from my education in the language of cinema, I believe the filmmaker's intent by using this cross-fade was to convey that the at this point the sinful woman would've said something along the lines of "blah, blah blah."
This was a great! Hanging out with you here was a real treasure, and I got to work my way through repressed memories of this crappy old movie too. Thank you!
I remember this video- it was shown as a warning. “This is what will happen if you don’t bridle your passions” type deal. Then after the fear bullet- they hit you with a go confess now if there’s ANYTHING that needs priesthood intervention. And as the icing on the cake we were told to watch out for impure and unclean girls who might try to trick us into marrying them when they haven’t kept themselves clean. Then they told us that’s why we wear our Sunday best to stake dances and that you can tell a lot about what’s on the inside by what people show you on their outside. So yeah- tattoos are super bad (everyone knows that) but what about a tank top? If they will show you they don’t care about modesty imagine what they aren’t showing you! Great times as a Mormon youth lol.
My bishop was even worse. He had really judgy eyes and an even judgier mouth. It took us a year for us to get married in the temple because of him. Could you please do a reaction video of the couple who dies in the car crash before they got sealed in the temple? It is straight up fear mongering propagana. It freaked me out as a kid.
Omg I remember teaching that lesson in YW. I hadn’t read the lesson all the way through and made my friends sister read that story. At the end we we’re all just like 😮
In the 70s it was worse. Chastity was taught as a white rose with a florist pin piercing it (no allegory there). They'd use multiple roses pierced various days before so everyone could see how huge and brown the holes got as the rose bloomed. Hated it for denying the Atonement. I refused to use it. I remember thinking it was nothing but suicide bait.
I had older siblings in seminary when this came out as part of the other videos made for CES and saw them frequently since my mom also taught it. It definitely instilled a fear of pre-puberty me about the "dangers" of impurity. A year or two before my mission I bought the soundtracks to these videos and listened to them frequently to prepare for it and stay away from worldly music. A couple decades latter I still know the songs too well as well as recall how bad they made me feel about myself (although I didn't do anything really wrong). It's so strange to see these things all this time later and how harmful they are compared to when I would "feel the spirit" by them as a believing teen.
im so glad i discovered y’all’s channel now, i’m really gonna need you to help me get throughly freshman year at byu. I need that cheap tuition but i will be lying to every single church member in power and will not be attending any devotionals
I remember finding this movie entirely compelling. I had a similar experience going to my bishop, delaying my mission departure, dreading the thought of facing friends and family who would all know my shame. It felt like a spiritually enlightening experience at the time, but I'm realizing now that so much of that euphoria stemmed from my perception; which was that God and my parents could finally accept me. I overcame the shame by successfully digging out the "immoral" impurities from my life, in other words I finally felt worthy. Now I see the whole system as one big circle of arbitrarily assigned shame and self-loathing and I hate it. I don't ever want that for my kids.
I remember seeing this atleast half a dozen times, it was so cringe. This video was like a reminder to me that women are at fault if they "make us" priesthood holders sin, and the guy could do no wrong because he literally had no role in this. Triggering indeed lol.
Yeah -its always the womans fault-'you caused the men to have sinful thoughts because you wore a tank top! You should be ashamed of your body etc etc' Did they ever think that maybe men are SUPPOSED to have naughty thoughts? Its how they react that matters. If they keep it to themselves and behave like gentlemen then thats fine by me. But I guess if men get all gropey then somehow thats the womans fault too.
The missionaries should've shown me this video. I would've never chose to get baptized. Before meeting with the missionaries, I considered myself Christian and through much of my younger years I felt such shame and hate for being sexual. Even after I was married (but that's a long story. note the ex-husband was not mormon. he was atheist.) After a lot of shame and hating myself and some really intense therapy sessions, I had this breakthrough and was like no you know what I am never going to feel guilty about my sexuality again. I even went out got my first toy. Fast forward two years or so later and I joined the church. And sure, I knew about the law of chastity but I had no idea the questions I would be asked by bishops after my divorce. When I was married, my Bishop when asking the interview questions was like "well you're married so we can skip the law of chastity question". Honestly I think he felt uncomfortable. He had just become bishop. But I had the impression that like okay they won't be creepy about it... after my divorce and I moved to Utah and was in a YSA ward? Some bishops were really gross about it. And my LDS therapist decided to focus on that as an addiction and not my self-harm. And the funny thing is at the time I was "sinning with myself" maybe once a month with no "visual aids". He even made a plan where I wrote out how I get aroused and at what levels of arousal and I use certain coping mechanisms to sin and engage in my "addictive behavior and act our sexually". He even went so far to say that my "behavior" was damaging my brain. I felt so gross sharing such personal details that outside of LDS therapy, I would have never discussed with a therapist. I couldn't help but feel like he was getting off on it. And while yes, I've had like one or two bishops who were good guys and one even told me "it's not that bad Sara. I don't need to know the details and I'd have no problems with you going to the temple" but by that point I was so hurt and shamed. ALSO OMFG I AM SO SICK OF THE WHOLE COUNT THIS TERRIBLE THING AS A BLESSING. Like for the love of God my mom dying, losing my job, being almost homeless, suffering from mental illness and being hospitalized 3x a year, having seizures and Lupus.... are not a damn blessing or a trial to be happy about. I cannot tell you how many times I was told to be happy that I am mentally ill and want to die all the time because now i'll now how to help others who feel that way.. and sure we can learn and grow from bad things, but we need to stop attributing suffering as its from God. All I've learned in the last two years is that I want nothing to do with a Church that makes me feel like I deserve all this pain. Anywhos, sorry this is long.. its one of those subjects that well pisses me off LOL
Your voice matters. Your trauma matters and it isn't your fault. It was never your fault. You certainly don't need to feel sorry for sharing. I understand why you apologized, though. We were taught all our lives that we're not allowed to feel so much pain. "Be grateful, be grateful! Blah blah blah!" It's normal to feel like you've gone too far just in sharing your true feelings after that. I hope you're healing. ❤
im really sorry. the church has made me feel the same way about myself and it really sucks. Now we can be free of it all and just accept ourselves. The bad and the good, its all me and thats ok. I'm NOT special. I'm just like everybody else. (I used to hate myself so much because everybody would always tell me how special I was. Different. Smarter. Better. But on the inside I knew I was broken and bad)
In 1994 the theme that was pushed that year in my girls camp was My Body is a Temple and He Doesn't Have a Visiters Pass. Of course, that Visitors Pass was a Temple Marriage, the only true marriage. Later that summer, it was time to have our meeting with the Bishop to see if we were worthy to participate in Baptism for the Dead. The bishop started small have you broke anything in the word of wisdom. I had smoked a cigarette. I did feel sorry about it I wanted to be a good Mormon girl. He heard I had a boyfriend now was he a member of the church. He was not, but his grandfather was. Then he started grilling me about what sexual acts I had don't with my boyfriend. We hadn't even started heavy petting at that point it was soooo fucking pure. The bishop refused to believe me. He kept repeating what acts were considered sexual and asking if I had done them. I continued to say I had not. I finally cracked and told him we were not Catholic, and he was not my confessor. That my sins were between me and god, and only God could know if I was truly repentant of them, not him. Needless to say, I was found unworthy. It turned out the reason why the bishop refused to believe that I was not having sexual contact with my non-Mormon boyfriend. It was because the stake presidency secretary's daughter was pregnant. I was called a liar by the bishop, and I walked away from the church that day. My mother tried to convince me years later the only reason the bishop treated me like that was it turned out he had a brain tumor. I told my mother that was no excuse for him to be so hyper-focused on sex that he called me a liar about it. That is the story of how the 16-year-old me left the church. Tune in next time for a story on how I pushed my seminary teacher into calling me a heathen.
Love your guys content! Sam, don’t let the haters bring you down. Tanner, keep building your confidence. You both are extraordinary people and your content has been so helpful in my faith transition, and in helping me deconstruct my beliefs to get to a healthier, less anxiety-filled existence and view on the world/spirituality. Thank thank thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Keep creating and keep talking about these important and harmful issues.
This unlocked some seminary memories that were locked in a far away vault. I used to panic about the bishop knowing everything! He’s blessed with the power of discernment so of course he’d know I ate all of the chocolate chips in the pantry and blamed my little sister.
Thank you for your commentaries on this. I love you guys and your blend of compassionate satire and practical sensibilities. Videos like this were a common event for me growing up mormon in Utah. In fact, I recognize many of the local actors, some of whom are no longer affiliated with the church unsurprisingly. The bishop's twisted logic and implication of a narcissistic deity who only cares about being "pleased" by his creations are confusing to young people - particularly those who have compassionate hearts and don't want to cause harm. I'm glad to see you deconstructing these propaganda videos and the toxic effects they've had on mormons for years. The song at the last 20 seconds was golden.
Get this...back in early 80's my younger brother was Seminary President and when he had his pre graduation interview with the Stake President, he was asked about the Word Of Wisdom. My brother drank Pepsi and was warned that because of this he may not graduate. Can you believe this? He did graduate by the skin of his teeth. That Pepsi Drinking Seminary President....
Mormons: The temple is God’s house God: I’m literally everywhere Mormons: No, only in the temple God: The world is my house, you’re in it all the time, your temple isn’t special Mormons: Shut up, God, this isn’t about you
Christian here. I am shocked at this teaching of the mormon church. The bible literally says godly sorrow leads to repentance. This woman is saying she did something she shouldn't have done but she no longer does it (repentance in a nutshell). Most of the time it even takes time to stop doing something you think you shouldn't be doing, so she is a step ahead here. Why the need to shame her? She didn't break the law of the land. She doesn't need to be punished...
Dang I’m not usually this riled up but this one really pissed me off. This is the kind of video that filled me with rage as a small kid at how unfair and overly cruel this church is. Things like this always made me angry, moving on from ‘sins’ personally and privately is just not enough apparently, you have to have some guy give you the OK. I think that’s why it isn’t as hard for me to leave because I always recognized the cruel nature of things like this, I’ve always been quietly angry.
This is heartbreaking. Man made rules. How could anyone fall for this. You don't go to a man for forgiveness. What could she have done to deserve this treatment? Crazy!!
So something my dad told me a lot when I came out of the closet and stopped going to church is " God is not a failed parent." Meaning he would love us regardless of our differences and mistakes and would be a parent before a punisher. On another note, we were told as kids that God tells the bishop about our sins before every interview so he will know if we are lying.
Thank you so much for addressing this horrid issue. I remember questions like this when it came to attending 4 years of Seminary and having your pre graduation interview.
Omg my family had this video on a VHS with a whole bunch of other grainy obviously v old videos! This is the one I remember most - aside from one v odd one where this family planted their garden but for some reason all their food was swapped? Like I distinctly remember them opening a huge watermelon and there were just a whole bunch of tomatoes inside it? And one girl was holding a carrot that was in a corn husk?? I don’t even remember what the lesson was supposed to be bc the man reading a scripture came at the end and we always skipped that part bc it was boring 😂
I had a friend, her bishop asked her how much she had cried due to feeling bad about her "sexual sin", she said a lot, and he was like okay you've repented. wtf
I liked better the way a Roman Catholic widower responded to a Monseigneur when he and his fiancee went for pre-marital "counseling." When the Monseigneur began to ask prying questions, the widower (who was also a U.S. Army captain) told him in no uncertain terms -- no doubt with some Anglo-Saxon spicing it up -- to mind his own business and that if the Monseigneur wouldn't, the Captain could find another priest to perform the ceremony! (Who needs a blasted "Temple" or even a "Cathedral" ceremony when City Hall or County Courthouse will do just as well?) (P.S.: I am actually a CHRISTIAN!)
5:40 My interpretation was she had premarital sex. Now that I think about it though, by leaving it open ended on what she did this bishop meeting is required for any "steamy moment" with a non-spouse. If you feel you went too far, ya did- which is what the church wants you to feel. Really sucks cause if someone did go too far, they need to tell their partner and probably need support/compassion from others, not criticism disguised as compassion.
The concept of forgiveness is beautiful, but the way most christians think that you have to get there is so messy.. I mean, that video didn't even bother to directly include "forgiveness". It was entirely about shame and suffering for no goddamn reason.
That was one of the many videos I had to watch over and over and over again at church and in seminary that fucked me up psychologically and led to religious trauma/ptsd that took me years to overcome!! I will not allow my children to be subjected to that culty bullshit!!
This actually happened to my friend. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back. She had a temple wedding planned and was then told she couldn’t get married there and had to change the whole wedding in the final days. It was a horrible experience for her and she later left the church because of that.
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done!
Well if this doesn’t motivate you to lie to your bishop idk what will
That's the moral I gleaned from this story.
HAHHaha me reading this after I just lied to mine 😭
@@bisexualfrenchfry1953 obviously the spirit is trying to tell you that you’re a good for nothing hussy.
If this doesn't motivate you to lie with your bishop...
But if you lie to him, he’ll know, because the have the magical “gift of discernment.”…… lol.
Plan ahead, if you’re having a summer wedding, you need to start apologizing to everyone you’ve ever met at New Years Eve.
Mormon engagements are too short for that 😳
"Tear-filled, delicate hand-jobs" is not only one of the unexpected and funniest sequences of words I've ever heard, it's also an accurate description of what a non-Mormon guy who dates a Mormon girl can probably expect.
I thought hand jobs were forbidden?
I dont think delicate would cut it!! 🤣
“It enforces the idea that sex is a hierarchy of acts.” What an excellent way to frame it!
Then maybe Bill Clinton wasn't lying??
“He can’t know he’s just like...a dentist” killed me bc every dentist in my town is Mormon
Love the channel and the work you guys put in!
I accidentally prophesied that my friend who was studying dentistry would be bishop when I came home from his mission. Lo and behold, I come back and he's bishop. My mission president was also a dentist.
My old bishop was a dentist lol
theyre always bishops because they make the most money which means the most tithe. my partners mom used to work for a mormon dentist...
My partner and I touched our knees together just for the sin of it.
oh no. ahhhh
That’s actually really adorable and wholesome if your not joking
“You’ve gone to Coldstone for a froyo every day for the last four weeks” 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Aren’t they vegan(
@@RawlzMovies they're talking about the characters not themselves
Also if we’re nitpicking Coldstone is more ice cream than froyo ;)
@@ZelphOntheShelf lol my issue with those places was always, which one will make my lactose intolerance act up the LEAST 😬 can't be stinking up your "group date" of about 10 kids.
The tone of the bishop's voice is SO, SO creepy. His behavior is so invasive and creepy. The outtakes to this are DEFINITELY him making her reenact her "sin" with him. Soooo uncomfortable.
Basically Kenneth Copeland whispering. Which nobody (NOBODY) asked for.
That interview style has been done with singles for decades. It looks creepy since you're looking through a lens from 2021. This was filmed nearly 30 years ago.
@@scottbrandon6244it’s been creepy for 30 years
@@scottbrandon6244 slavery also existed for decades. sometimes bad things last a long time scott
Ugh, this is honestly traumatizing. We watched this in Seminary when I was 15/ in 2010. This video scared the hell out of me, and made me feel awful. It made me feel like you could never fully/actually repent. It honestly scarred me. It's wild to see this again. Ugh, it's just so harmful.
Thanks for your commentary. 💞✨
Same!
Raise your hand if you are surprised that this is NOT from the perspective of the guy..... nobody? Me neither.
my thoughts exactly
It reminds me of when I was a teenager in the 90s. At the same time there was a girl and boy who at the same time got caught “misbehaving.” Just not with each other. The boy got a, “no no don’t do that again.” In private. The girl got the public shaming. The worst part, she was a victim of sex abuse and had never learned how to say no. Looking back, I hope she’s escaped that toxicity and is having a good life.
if there is a god, I hope he hates the control people exert over others using his name.
I hope that if there is a god, their name is actually something like Thinklewad Mcdawch the fourth
lol
@@leiliabug5240 hey I mean, with how the Mormon god system works, he might be named that
I used to teach sex ed in high schools (the good kind) and the 'hierarchy' of sex acts was one of the things we always pushed students to unlearn! Intimacy isn't about checking off the boxes.
I was having a bad day and missing my family back in Utah, I so glad you uploaded this before I went to bed :)
My mom officially left the church publically on Facebook recently and she told me she started figuring it out because she came across one of y'all's church history debunking Kwaku's bad apologetics videos.
You are now a part of my family, for the record ♡
Awwww 🥰💜
That's a nice story to hear. Good to know the good work that Zelph On the Shelf has done for informing and waking people out.
Shainy, congrats on your mom getting out!!
I love that her clothes got more modest each session too. When she was finally clean she was in a long sleeve plain shirt vs at the beginning a scandalous blue short sleeve dress!
😂😂
And the end of the story, the boyfriend went on to be Two-Face in Batman and crash a plane into the Hudson with Sully Sullenberg. BTW Aaron Eckhardt was my Home Teaching companion for a brief time at BYU. I remember he was in the film dept. We were the worst Home Teachers ever
Oh dang, it is him! I didn't recognise him. Another Mormon actor, huh.
What?? Eckhardt went to BYU? And was Mormon?
@@jordanhall8516 yup. he graduated in 1994 same as me. he even went on a Mormon mission. I think to France?
I searched the comments for this, couldn't place him, assumed he was in some straight to vid shoot em ups or something but hes an actual actor, and to think, had it not have been for some dude getting a tear filled hand job, he could have been stuck in a young temple marriage and this clearly added a chance for him to show off his dramatic chops in this seminal role.
I’m calling it “bishoping” someone for the rest of my life now.
It begs the question though, what is Propheting? I'd imagine it something to do with someone else's spouse. 🤔
@@spottheturtle9568 no that's home schooling profiting is where you talk young missionary women into practicing polygamy
Comparing this to my pre-wedding meetings with my rabbi is so wild. She asked us if we had discussed children, money, how and and where we wanted to live, if we had fights and how we dealt with them, and how we were doing with both our families. You know, like pre- marriage counseling to not get together without knowing each other or having talked about important topics first.
I really want to remake this shot for shot and fill in the dialogue. "Bishop, I killed someone." "No problem." "I embezzled $500,000." "As long as you paid tithing one it you're good." "I kissed my partner...and used tongue." "Kim, I'm going to have to take your recommend."
I remember watching this at church around the year 2000 when I was 15....what a gem..... definitely didn't help with my feelings of unworthiness from being sexually abused as a child. So messed up!
Would you guys ever read the Miracle of Forgiveness and talk about it? I found it on my mom's shelf, and suddenly a lot of her horrible teachings made more sense.
John Dehlin talked about it
They made everyone read it who confessed to the bishop.
It made you want to kill yourself, and hate yourself for the rest of your life.
Also must've made the Kimball family very rich.
I buy them when I see them at DI, and will probably burn them so nobody ever reads them.
Two seventies in the last year have denounced the book publicly. Deseret bookstore will no longer sell it. So that tells you why it is not used as much as previous decades.
@@scottbrandon6244 scott honey stop trying to defend this cult and its atrocities just own up that it's bad my guy. you're fucking embarrassing yourself you tool just like I did.
If Godly shame is what she should have been worried about, then the clips of her confessing to all those people should not have been in this film and it should have just shown her repenting. The church was literally contradicting itself in the film. (shocker)
Ding ding ding! We have a winner. 🙌🏻
When i was young, my mom caught me looking at porn, the next sunday the bishop called me into his office and told him his job was to watch over his flock and the spirit told him i might have a problem with pornography. It was then i realized that if the bishop would lie about the spirit.. everyone else in the church would too.
It's not "lies" it's the telepathy of the Lord...
I am a 97 baby and I remember watching this. Literally all it did was convince me TO THE EXTREME to never talk to the bishop about literally anything. I lied so much to every single bishop 😅 and I only feel bad because two of them were actually genuinely nice dudes, I just didn't wanna deal with getting in trouble
This movie was released long after I was in YW...in the 80s...
I lied to my Bishop all the time...even back then. I lied about my goals to get the coveted YW medallion. I lied about doing Senimary work daily (we had Seminary before church on Sundays...nor a heavy Mormon population)...hell, I lied about my testimony every fast Sunday.
Lol was shown this in 2014 in seminary. Full on. Screwed me up for a long time.
And yeah, the reality is actually even more horrific.
All my teen years were in the 90's and I somehow missed this Mormon video. This is a total typical Mormon video. I appreciate your commentary because it reminds of why I left that church. Love you guys!
I saw this in seminary circa 2013. There are a lot of old cringy propaganda movies that would make good reaction content, like the one where the high school kids learn a valuable lesson about judging others when they see their (Mormon) high school teacher holding a cup of coffee, only to learn that she was bringing it to a co-worker.
Actually, cringiness aside, that's a good lesson to learn. I wished more Mormons would be less judgmental.
@@miguelthealpaca8971 True, but it would have been so much better, like, if it had the kids tattling to their bishop about the coffee, and the bishop telling them it's not their concern, because it implied that they SHOULD do something if they know a fellow Saint is doing something so awful as drinking bean water.
@@luddlowvertakaclydecowley5905 yeah, true. I think the whole telling the bishop about other's behaviour is more of a Utah thing, which spreads into BYU and the mission field and maybe a few congregations outside of the mountain states.
I went for a job interview at a pharmacy and my interviewer told me that Mormons are supposed to tell their bishop about other's wrongdoing and I told her I've never heard anything about this. She was worried about it cos if a single Mormon were to use a contraceptive, I would have to report it to the bishop and that would conflict with the pharmacy's policy of confidentiality.
@@luddlowvertakaclydecowley5905 bean water😂😂😂😂😂😂 I will forever call it that now. I’m off to pick up my little one from kindergarten and I will also be picking up a bean water for myself.
I love what you said about the feeling of empowerment a bishop gets from controlling the repentance process and how that helps him to feel like a congregation leader. So true and never thought of it that way
You should have lied Kim, everyone else does
Idk why my brain went into movie mode and said "kill him! You can't let him ruin your big day!" 😅
LMBAO!
So, I had this thought while watching this, that the church should watch it and apply it to actually repenting for their racist practices and doctrines. Here’s a few time stamps with important lessons the church could learn:
7:14-Bishop: true repentance is more than just stopping the bad behavior
13:28 Bishop: you’ve been so caught with the social consequences of your mistakes and the worldly sorrow they bring you haven’t left room to consider the eternal consequences.
14:49- bishop: right now, what is your biggest concern?
Kim: how can I face everyone?!
Bishop: shouldn’t the question be, “how can I face the Lord?”
15:23 bishop: you should be feeling godly sorrow.
15:34 bishop: I think it begins with our ability to see our sins as he sees them, not as we see them.
16:26 Bishop: Godly sorrow is a deep realization that our actions have offended our father [in heaven.]
22:03 Bishop: Godly sorrow is not meant to be a punishment. It’s a purposeful thing. A gift of the spirit, a feeling of sorrow that precedes true repentance.
So go ahead mormon church, feel that godly sorrow for your racist traditions, and don’t worry about the social consequences of owning up to it, just know you offended God and need to feel that godly sorrow and view it as a gift from God, and part of true repentance.
As a convert, I really had to hold back laughter when my stake president asked me if I had participated in “heavy petting.” Uhm. I like dogs...?
Omg.. I feel screwed up and damaged from being raised Catholic. I can't imagine how I would be if I was raised Mormon. This is siiick. And you guys kill me, you are hilarious.
Three of my grandparents were Mormon and one was catholic and I wonder why I'm screwed lol...
@@melaniebrown6805 Hahaha exactly! It ends up affecting your relationships and self esteem even though you know it's control techniques and bullshit.
@@godlessfornicater I was one of the first to have a baby out of wedlock too and I was technically a teen mom plus my babys father was not a member so I'm a double disappointment in their eyes. My catholic grandmother was dead by then but my grandpa acted like I was next to hitler 😒 he cringes when he sees my tattoo too. Now my younger cousins all have sleeves and have kids outta wedlock and are not in the church so I'm one of the best ones now 😂 I think its more because my oldest is almost 8 and they want her baptized so they don't say anything now. 🙄
@@melaniebrown6805 Oh boy. Sorry you went through that. And I'm glad you're not the only one in your family living in sin anymore. 😄
@@godlessfornicater Its fine lmfao I've always been the least favorite lmfao
That groom is kind of two-faced...
Ba dum tsch!!
It’s not about what they want, it’s about what fair!
Nooooo 😂😂😂
The guy is Aaron Eckhart. He left the Mormon Church and now they dont play this video because hes not mormon. Also he plays Two Face in the Dark Night
No wonder he looked familiar.
The president in Olympus Has Fallen?? Holy crap.
Glad someone said it!
Bishop: That's it?
Girl: Yeah...
B: Are you sure?
G: Yes!
Bishop removing hands from under the table: I am very dissatisfied with you! You could have at least make something up!..
Haha. That's like the ricky Gervais joke. "Oh, at least make something up!".
@@joecook5689 it is!
@@exmodeadpool ha
And not allowing people to have a dirty sense of humour leads to embarrassing situations like the advert of 'Behold I am coming soon' on the side of a bus.' Yeah....might want to rethink that one! 😅
"getting too comfortable...." Tanner, What, they're wearing matching outfits 😂🤣😂🤣
I remember having an interview like this when I had sex in hs. They wont let you hint at anything. They just sit there and look at you and wait for you to say exactly what happened and then ask for more details. Ugh. Worst experience.
Ugh... 90s kid here. We had this video ON VHS tape in my home and my dad made me (only daughter) watch it repeatedly as a teenager. Don't think I realized how traumatizing that was until I started processing it today with y'all. Thanks for that.
2:42 from my education in the language of cinema, I believe the filmmaker's intent by using this cross-fade was to convey that the at this point the sinful woman would've said something along the lines of "blah, blah blah."
Glad to see you here Sam! You're an important part of Zelph. (Tanner as well OFC!)
Enlightening and freeing as always. It's SO refreshing to see what was once "normal" without the rose colored glasses. And you lay it out so well.
I feel like starting a #justiceforkim campaign
"I, a 50 year old man, know exactly how hard it is to be an 18 year old girl discussing sex with a self righteous prick."
This was a great! Hanging out with you here was a real treasure, and I got to work my way through repressed memories of this crappy old movie too. Thank you!
I remember this video- it was shown as a warning. “This is what will happen if you don’t bridle your passions” type deal. Then after the fear bullet- they hit you with a go confess now if there’s ANYTHING that needs priesthood intervention. And as the icing on the cake we were told to watch out for impure and unclean girls who might try to trick us into marrying them when they haven’t kept themselves clean. Then they told us that’s why we wear our Sunday best to stake dances and that you can tell a lot about what’s on the inside by what people show you on their outside. So yeah- tattoos are super bad (everyone knows that) but what about a tank top? If they will show you they don’t care about modesty imagine what they aren’t showing you!
Great times as a Mormon youth lol.
My bishop was even worse. He had really judgy eyes and an even judgier mouth. It took us a year for us to get married in the temple because of him. Could you please do a reaction video of the couple who dies in the car crash before they got sealed in the temple? It is straight up fear mongering propagana. It freaked me out as a kid.
Omg I remember teaching that lesson in YW. I hadn’t read the lesson all the way through and made my friends sister read that story. At the end we we’re all just like 😮
In the 70s it was worse. Chastity was taught as a white rose with a florist pin piercing it (no allegory there). They'd use multiple roses pierced various days before so everyone could see how huge and brown the holes got as the rose bloomed.
Hated it for denying the Atonement. I refused to use it. I remember thinking it was nothing but suicide bait.
Omg, this video with Aaron Eckhart when he was still Mormon. Saw this in seminary in the 90s
Lol so glad I wasn't the only one to recognize him! I was in seminary in the early 2000s, and we watched it too! 😂
Sam, I am glad you didn't take a break, you are a wonderful part of Zelph, and I would miss you.
I had older siblings in seminary when this came out as part of the other videos made for CES and saw them frequently since my mom also taught it. It definitely instilled a fear of pre-puberty me about the "dangers" of impurity. A year or two before my mission I bought the soundtracks to these videos and listened to them frequently to prepare for it and stay away from worldly music. A couple decades latter I still know the songs too well as well as recall how bad they made me feel about myself (although I didn't do anything really wrong).
It's so strange to see these things all this time later and how harmful they are compared to when I would "feel the spirit" by them as a believing teen.
Woohoo Zelph is back in business. Good to see you Sam. Tanner too.
I remember this horribly triggering video sooooo very well. It filled me with guilt!
im so glad i discovered y’all’s channel now, i’m really gonna need you to help me get throughly freshman year at byu. I need that cheap tuition but i will be lying to every single church member in power and will not be attending any devotionals
I remember finding this movie entirely compelling. I had a similar experience going to my bishop, delaying my mission departure, dreading the thought of facing friends and family who would all know my shame. It felt like a spiritually enlightening experience at the time, but I'm realizing now that so much of that euphoria stemmed from my perception; which was that God and my parents could finally accept me. I overcame the shame by successfully digging out the "immoral" impurities from my life, in other words I finally felt worthy. Now I see the whole system as one big circle of arbitrarily assigned shame and self-loathing and I hate it. I don't ever want that for my kids.
I remember seeing this atleast half a dozen times, it was so cringe. This video was like a reminder to me that women are at fault if they "make us" priesthood holders sin, and the guy could do no wrong because he literally had no role in this. Triggering indeed lol.
Yeah -its always the womans fault-'you caused the men to have sinful thoughts because you wore a tank top! You should be ashamed of your body etc etc' Did they ever think that maybe men are SUPPOSED to have naughty thoughts? Its how they react that matters. If they keep it to themselves and behave like gentlemen then thats fine by me. But I guess if men get all gropey then somehow thats the womans fault too.
I genuinely can't even watch the video in question the music triggered my anxiety.
“GONE INTO HAND” 😂😂 I laughed so hard
You two really cracked me up this time! That song is HIDEOUS! Good serious discussion about the issues the dreadful video illustrates, too. Be well!
I’m definitely guilty of some over the trousers necking
Happens to the best of us.
P s the singing from you two was sooo good
I remember watching this as a teen. I think about it from time to time. Crazy how it still affects me. Thank God I got out of that craziness!!
Start ✍️ repenting ✍️ 6 months ✍️ before ✍️wedding ✍️
XDDDD 'I bishop you all the time'
I loled at that part
The missionaries should've shown me this video. I would've never chose to get baptized. Before meeting with the missionaries, I considered myself Christian and through much of my younger years I felt such shame and hate for being sexual. Even after I was married (but that's a long story. note the ex-husband was not mormon. he was atheist.) After a lot of shame and hating myself and some really intense therapy sessions, I had this breakthrough and was like no you know what I am never going to feel guilty about my sexuality again. I even went out got my first toy. Fast forward two years or so later and I joined the church. And sure, I knew about the law of chastity but I had no idea the questions I would be asked by bishops after my divorce. When I was married, my Bishop when asking the interview questions was like "well you're married so we can skip the law of chastity question". Honestly I think he felt uncomfortable. He had just become bishop. But I had the impression that like okay they won't be creepy about it... after my divorce and I moved to Utah and was in a YSA ward? Some bishops were really gross about it. And my LDS therapist decided to focus on that as an addiction and not my self-harm. And the funny thing is at the time I was "sinning with myself" maybe once a month with no "visual aids". He even made a plan where I wrote out how I get aroused and at what levels of arousal and I use certain coping mechanisms to sin and engage in my "addictive behavior and act our sexually". He even went so far to say that my "behavior" was damaging my brain. I felt so gross sharing such personal details that outside of LDS therapy, I would have never discussed with a therapist. I couldn't help but feel like he was getting off on it. And while yes, I've had like one or two bishops who were good guys and one even told me "it's not that bad Sara. I don't need to know the details and I'd have no problems with you going to the temple" but by that point I was so hurt and shamed. ALSO OMFG I AM SO SICK OF THE WHOLE COUNT THIS TERRIBLE THING AS A BLESSING. Like for the love of God my mom dying, losing my job, being almost homeless, suffering from mental illness and being hospitalized 3x a year, having seizures and Lupus.... are not a damn blessing or a trial to be happy about. I cannot tell you how many times I was told to be happy that I am mentally ill and want to die all the time because now i'll now how to help others who feel that way.. and sure we can learn and grow from bad things, but we need to stop attributing suffering as its from God. All I've learned in the last two years is that I want nothing to do with a Church that makes me feel like I deserve all this pain. Anywhos, sorry this is long.. its one of those subjects that well pisses me off LOL
Your voice matters. Your trauma matters and it isn't your fault. It was never your fault. You certainly don't need to feel sorry for sharing. I understand why you apologized, though. We were taught all our lives that we're not allowed to feel so much pain. "Be grateful, be grateful! Blah blah blah!" It's normal to feel like you've gone too far just in sharing your true feelings after that. I hope you're healing. ❤
im really sorry. the church has made me feel the same way about myself and it really sucks. Now we can be free of it all and just accept ourselves. The bad and the good, its all me and thats ok. I'm NOT special. I'm just like everybody else. (I used to hate myself so much because everybody would always tell me how special I was. Different. Smarter. Better. But on the inside I knew I was broken and bad)
I just apologized to my daughters again. I mean, we're all out now, but I will feel regret forever.
This was such a fun video! I sincerely hope you guys make a video like this for Saturday's Warrior one day!
In 1994 the theme that was pushed that year in my girls camp was My Body is a Temple and He Doesn't Have a Visiters Pass. Of course, that Visitors Pass was a Temple Marriage, the only true marriage. Later that summer, it was time to have our meeting with the Bishop to see if we were worthy to participate in Baptism for the Dead. The bishop started small have you broke anything in the word of wisdom. I had smoked a cigarette. I did feel sorry about it I wanted to be a good Mormon girl. He heard I had a boyfriend now was he a member of the church. He was not, but his grandfather was. Then he started grilling me about what sexual acts I had don't with my boyfriend. We hadn't even started heavy petting at that point it was soooo fucking pure. The bishop refused to believe me. He kept repeating what acts were considered sexual and asking if I had done them. I continued to say I had not. I finally cracked and told him we were not Catholic, and he was not my confessor. That my sins were between me and god, and only God could know if I was truly repentant of them, not him. Needless to say, I was found unworthy. It turned out the reason why the bishop refused to believe that I was not having sexual contact with my non-Mormon boyfriend. It was because the stake presidency secretary's daughter was pregnant. I was called a liar by the bishop, and I walked away from the church that day. My mother tried to convince me years later the only reason the bishop treated me like that was it turned out he had a brain tumor. I told my mother that was no excuse for him to be so hyper-focused on sex that he called me a liar about it. That is the story of how the 16-year-old me left the church. Tune in next time for a story on how I pushed my seminary teacher into calling me a heathen.
Wretched rag of jizz was my nickname in high school. I feel attacked. 😹
Love your guys content! Sam, don’t let the haters bring you down. Tanner, keep building your confidence. You both are extraordinary people and your content has been so helpful in my faith transition, and in helping me deconstruct my beliefs to get to a healthier, less anxiety-filled existence and view on the world/spirituality. Thank thank thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Keep creating and keep talking about these important and harmful issues.
This unlocked some seminary memories that were locked in a far away vault. I used to panic about the bishop knowing everything! He’s blessed with the power of discernment so of course he’d know I ate all of the chocolate chips in the pantry and blamed my little sister.
Thank you for your commentaries on this. I love you guys and your blend of compassionate satire and practical sensibilities. Videos like this were a common event for me growing up mormon in Utah. In fact, I recognize many of the local actors, some of whom are no longer affiliated with the church unsurprisingly. The bishop's twisted logic and implication of a narcissistic deity who only cares about being "pleased" by his creations are confusing to young people - particularly those who have compassionate hearts and don't want to cause harm. I'm glad to see you deconstructing these propaganda videos and the toxic effects they've had on mormons for years. The song at the last 20 seconds was golden.
Get this...back in early 80's my younger brother was Seminary President and when he had his pre graduation interview with the Stake President, he was asked about the Word Of Wisdom. My brother drank Pepsi and was warned that because of this he may not graduate. Can you believe this? He did graduate by the skin of his teeth. That Pepsi Drinking Seminary President....
Mormons: The temple is God’s house
God: I’m literally everywhere
Mormons: No, only in the temple
God: The world is my house, you’re in it all the time, your temple isn’t special
Mormons: Shut up, God, this isn’t about you
Christian here. I am shocked at this teaching of the mormon church. The bible literally says godly sorrow leads to repentance. This woman is saying she did something she shouldn't have done but she no longer does it (repentance in a nutshell). Most of the time it even takes time to stop doing something you think you shouldn't be doing, so she is a step ahead here. Why the need to shame her? She didn't break the law of the land. She doesn't need to be punished...
Feels like yall are back in a groove and I'm feelin these kinds of videos! Love you both 💕💗
“That guy” is Aaron Eckhart. And he nailed his one line.
Dang I’m not usually this riled up but this one really pissed me off. This is the kind of video that filled me with rage as a small kid at how unfair and overly cruel this church is. Things like this always made me angry, moving on from ‘sins’ personally and privately is just not enough apparently, you have to have some guy give you the OK. I think that’s why it isn’t as hard for me to leave because I always recognized the cruel nature of things like this, I’ve always been quietly angry.
Y'all should do more of these. Reminds me of Mystery Science Theater 3000.
This is heartbreaking. Man made rules. How could anyone fall for this. You don't go to a man for forgiveness. What could she have done to deserve this treatment? Crazy!!
I love you both! Needed this video this morning. Thanks!
Great job! This is so funny and so sad for her and all of us who lived through something like that.
So something my dad told me a lot when I came out of the closet and stopped going to church is " God is not a failed parent." Meaning he would love us regardless of our differences and mistakes and would be a parent before a punisher. On another note, we were told as kids that God tells the bishop about our sins before every interview so he will know if we are lying.
Thank you so much for addressing this horrid issue. I remember questions like this when it came to attending 4 years of Seminary and having your pre graduation interview.
Omg my family had this video on a VHS with a whole bunch of other grainy obviously v old videos! This is the one I remember most - aside from one v odd one where this family planted their garden but for some reason all their food was swapped? Like I distinctly remember them opening a huge watermelon and there were just a whole bunch of tomatoes inside it? And one girl was holding a carrot that was in a corn husk?? I don’t even remember what the lesson was supposed to be bc the man reading a scripture came at the end and we always skipped that part bc it was boring 😂
I had a friend, her bishop asked her how much she had cried due to feeling bad about her "sexual sin", she said a lot, and he was like okay you've repented. wtf
!!!!
Oh wow you guys killed it with the singing! ❤❤
Wow this is exactly what Jehovah’s Witness elders do too.. it’s almost a verbatim conversation.
I was thinking the same thing!! I’m an ExJW that lives in Utah and has Mormon family.
so many new videos recently, yay!
"Sorry, I Bishoped you" was the greatest timed joke ever.
You guys always bring up really good points I had never known how to vocalize. Thank you
I liked better the way a Roman Catholic widower responded to a Monseigneur when he and his fiancee went for pre-marital "counseling." When the Monseigneur began to ask prying questions, the widower (who was also a U.S. Army captain) told him in no uncertain terms -- no doubt with some Anglo-Saxon spicing it up -- to mind his own business and that if the Monseigneur wouldn't, the Captain could find another priest to perform the ceremony! (Who needs a blasted "Temple" or even a "Cathedral" ceremony when City Hall or County Courthouse will do just as well?) (P.S.: I am actually a CHRISTIAN!)
5:40 My interpretation was she had premarital sex. Now that I think about it though, by leaving it open ended on what she did this bishop meeting is required for any "steamy moment" with a non-spouse.
If you feel you went too far, ya did- which is what the church wants you to feel. Really sucks cause if someone did go too far, they need to tell their partner and probably need support/compassion from others, not criticism disguised as compassion.
How are you not going to mention the fact that that was Aaron Eckhart as the boyfriend in the video?
Well wasn’t that triggering....
I'm triggered and I'm never even joined
Oh my goooooooood I suppressed this video so hard!
The concept of forgiveness is beautiful, but the way most christians think that you have to get there is so messy.. I mean, that video didn't even bother to directly include "forgiveness". It was entirely about shame and suffering for no goddamn reason.
I feel bad that my current mormon friends have to deal with this bs..
Yes, it's weird.
That was one of the many videos I had to watch over and over and over again at church and in seminary that fucked me up psychologically and led to religious trauma/ptsd that took me years to overcome!! I will not allow my children to be subjected to that culty bullshit!!
Love your sparkling commentary 🤩
This actually happened to my friend. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back. She had a temple wedding planned and was then told she couldn’t get married there and had to change the whole wedding in the final days. It was a horrible experience for her and she later left the church because of that.
I want to see a full music video on that “God Wants To See Me Cry 😭 “ song Tanner was jamming to at the end 😂