Does anyone remember what happened to Lipgloss from Tik Tok? She was so severely bullied for simply wearing her natural 4C hair out and not styling it but her point was so valid and she was stunning the way she was. You shouldn’t have to style your hair every single day if you don’t feel like it. Manipulating your hair that often also leads to breakage anyway. So happy you made this video ❤
As I remember, she was bullied for saying that only white men appreciated her natural hair. I was shocked at the bullying backlash because she told no lies!!! When I went natural so many more white, Latino and Asian men complemented me vs Black men.
I have 4c hair that’s light colored, sparse but thick, and highly porous. I used to be a highly popular pole dancer in strip clubs. I was expected to wear wigs, weaves, etc. I hated it. My hair hated it, because it caused damage even for a short time of wearing them. My hair was considered “undone” when I wore a cute Afro puff or braids. Hair products never worked on my edges to make designs, etc, but other women with 3a - 4b could throw water on their hair, wear braids, or a light press with no style, bump, or part just looking like a damn puppy and no one would say anything. One day I told management, “You knew my ass was Black when you hired me”. 😂 I was fired not long after that. I didn’t care. I’ve had similar experiences on tv show sets where people don’t know how to style my hair, so I usually showed up with it done. I’ve always worn my natural hair and the 7 years I danced was the longest that I didn’t. I stand up to anyone that says anything negative about my hair. 💜
4c natural for almost 25 years. My advice (what I wish someone had told me): 1) Lean into what YOUR hair does. Once you let go of trying to make your hair behave like hair of a different texture, you'll find ways of styling that you like 2) Embrace shape and volume, it's what we have in spades. Figure out which shape/shapes look nice to you when combined with your facial features and you're golden 3) Wearing it shrunken is great (it's when it looks the most full and lush imo).But in this state it's more susceptible to tangling, so just be aware and careful. 4) It's also ok to style your hair. Even most white women style their hair, despite this idea we have that they fall out of bed with their hair ready to go. Styling doesn't take an inordinate amount of time once you figure out what works for you.
True wisdom. I've been natural for almost as long, yet occasionally I still have some of the "why won't it do this" struggles. But your wisdom is strong! Thank you for sharing.
@@tammygant4216 Makes all the difference in the world. It's the difference between playing basketball with a basketball versus a soccer ball or a football. Choose the latter two and what is usually a perfectly functional and interesting game becomes un-playable. If you have a basketball, play basketball. If you have a baseball, don't try to play golf, play baseball.
I love these tips. Especially the last one. It’s okay to style it, slick your edges, honestly do it however you want to it. So many ppl think going natural is just letting your hair be unruly but it’s not. Black people have braided or styled their hair luxuriously for thousands of years. Especially because leaving it out in it natural state will lead to SO much breakage from detangling
@@tylachad6102 The last tip wasn’t the point of her comment. It was meant to reassure the reader not to feel bad about styling just because you are choosing to let your hair be as much as possible. It’s not a ‘who can manipulate their hair the least’ competition. Imo the last tip was the least important, which is why it was last. The point of the comment was to *mostly* let your hair be and do what is best for it, not what may look best for it according to certain preferences - yt ones.
I wrote my senior thesis about black hair and the natural hair movement. After interviewing other black girls on campus, one of my conclusions were seeing other women natural was a major influence in other women going natural.
I'm sure it is a major influence. When I took a CNA course, the class was full of all black women. My teacher was a well paid RN who also started and ran the school. I had 4 small kids and was a single mother, I couldn't always do my hair. So, after the first week of class, I threw my wig off and wore my natural hair. My instructor would always look at my hair, and the next thing that I knew, she ditched her wigs and came to class in her natural hair. She had a small afro with a headband around it and it was so cute. I knew that she wore hers because I wore mine, and I was proud.
Grew up in a predominantly white area too, had my hair relaxed at 4 years old until middle school. It was damaged, short, and caused me a lot of emotional damage. I decided to say no to relaxers and go natural, though i didn’t start wearing it out freely until college. It’s been liberating for me to wear my natural hair and feel confident. I feel as if i don’t have to hide anymore
I live in a predominantly black country and in my part of the world, seeing women who look like you is a norm and people will look at you and see a beautiful young woman, short 4c hair and all but it's crazy that people view the way we look negatively in other parts of the world. I also hate that some people genuinely believe that our hair is hard to manage and that you need to buy a 1000 products to manage it. I only use an ordinary shampoo, conditioner and a hair oil on my hair and my hair is doing just fine. Some people will obviously need a bit more products than I do but that's not because their hair is hard to manage but because we all do different things to our hair and we need different products to satisfy those needs. Thank you for sharing this with us and I really thought your poem was good❤.
I have 4C hair and wear my hair natural and it is more challenging to manage. It breaks and knots EASILY and it constantly coils into itself. It's also dry and needs constant moisture. It doesn't lay down when in an afro and if it's short, it doesn't move. Our hair molds easily and can point in many different directions. So it can give more of an unkempt appearance. With all that being said....I've learned to love my 4C hair and find products that work to make it less of a challenge. ❤ It's ok to admit our hair is MORE challenging than ANY other hair. Is the very last hair type on the chart anyone could have and the only hair type to belong to black people. Doesn't mean I'm puttong our hair down. It's just the truth. I don't compare my hair to other hair types anyway. I work with what God gave me. ❤
Girl, I felt the SAME WAY about makeup in highschool. I was worried that if I started wearing it regularly, I'd feel like a panda without its spots if I took it off one day just to let my skin be its natural self. So I did the actual minimum, and even now makeup is mainly reserved for "special occasions." I don't know if it helps to hear a stranger say it, but you are also incredibly pretty in my eyes. Your features are sweet and youthful and well-balanced, and it's very pleasant to see you laugh and talk. There's many different categories of "feminine" so I wouldn't stress too much about presenting yourself in a certain way to compensate for what you might imagine you are lacking. You're gorgeous, Ms. Rapunzel 😍 Also, as a straight hair girlie, I just want to say that I'm literally mesmerized by people who have curly hair, and especially gravity-defying afros. It sucks that society penalizes certain textures and colors rather than celebrate them... Our skin and hair and bodies, from our ancestors we inherit. We are born beautiful, and it all deserves equal merit.
My sister also went to a predominantly white private school in NYC and I imagine your story mirrors hers a lot. It’s going to take a lot to truly separate ourselves from the notion of white adjacent desirability. We will have to devote a lot of that thought just to hair alone. But you already know u look stunning
Yo elijah why were you the first comment I saw when I scrolled down telling my businessss?!! In all seriousness this really does resonate and I did go through a very similar process at the end of high school/early college when I started to wear my hair fully natural. At this point my natural hair is my default and it's so freeing
The comment on the ponytail was REAL. I also went to a predominantly white primary school growing up and for me it was the fringe (or bangs lol) I wanted a fringe soooo bad I would put a headscarf on my head to imitate a fringe at home and I’d feel so beautiful even though I definitely must’ve looked a hot mess. Embracing the notion of upward growth is so magical. I love when people say our hair defies gravity because it really feels like a gift from nature. Great video topic as always, thanks for sharing your experiences ❤️
That "using a scarf as a fringe" making you feel "so beautiful" hit me deep in places I didn't know I had. Damn girl, thats the kind of shit that makes me mad, the fact that we're pushed into corners like that. But good look on your hair journey sis. Do whatever it takes to love yourself.
I think it's interesting to keep in mind that in precolonial Africa, hair was braided and people had so many different styles, cuts, natural products. Hair told a story of your age, social status, marital status etc.. It was rarely just left as it was for many different tribes. It was such an important tool for self expression and identity. l think it's normal that we might want to do something extra with it. Nothing wrong with leaving it and combing it (or not) into a beautiful afro.
Mainly sheabutter and coco butter but I see your point. Honestly, I feel like outside of braiding though, many west Africans esp have lost the art of actual hair care. I say this as a Ghanaian American btw. It's all about just putting in extension hair. A lot of them do know how to braid without blow drying at least.
I explained this to an East Asian friend the other day, because he assumed that me choosing to braid my hair was the same as wearing a straight wig. I think it's a shame that we're reaching the point where people think that Africans didn't have a hair culture before 'the white man' arrived. Even using extensions in the braids wasn't unusual (granted they weren't made of plastic though!)
This take is very relatable. I wore twists for about 5 years and got used to not receiving compliments on my hair. The times I got some, it was almost always after a retwist, when the hair looked conventionally neat. Learning to like your 4c hair is a journey, because everywhere you look, the world is saying its not beautiful. It takes time, and honestly adopting an independent perspective of how beautiful your hair is.
You couldn't have posted this at a better time. I'm about to take out my braids and I want to start wearing my hair how it grows for a bit. I have all the same thoughts and feelings you expressed so thank you so much! It's nice to see someone going on this same journey
When I got box braids for the first time I was so excited because 'I looked like a girl' My brother was confused, so I listed off names of girls my age (all white) But then I also realized I never appreciated cornrows because 'I looked like a boy' because it looked like I had no or short hair Now, in big part thanks to TikTok, I realized a lot of natural Black hairstyles are pretty gender neutral (afro, locs, twists, dreads, and so on) You said someone mistook you for a guy, but I know a guy with an afro who kept getting mistaken as a girl (from the back)
Yep. The first time I wore my hair in long box braids to school, the attention I received was insane. Until then, I had mostly worn my hair in cornrows or short twists, no extensions. My hair was about shoulder length, but with shrinkage it appeared shorter. Then one day I rocked up with long box braids down to my back, and everyone was noticing me and telling me how pretty I looked. Even the one boy that I usually disliked and had beef with was suddenly nicer to me (short lived lol, we quickly went back to hating each other). One person told me that I "actually looked like a girl now" Funny thing (or sad, depending how you look at it) is that my school was mostly black. Goes to show had deeply we had internalised those white supremacist standards of beauty. From that day onwards, I would only wear my hair in long braids. I did not want to be seen with my natural hair out, which meant that I got my hair done back to back without a single break for years and years. This came at the detriment of my scalp and hair health. I ended up losing my edges due to the constant tension, and my hair went from being full and volumtious to thin and brittle :( Fortunately I have my hair in locs now, and I'm seeking treatment for my damaged edges, so my hair is finally on the mend. My relationship with my hair is stronger than its ever been because locs, especially in the beginning, really force you to come to terms with your natural hair exactly as it grows out of your scalp. The kinkiness, the shrinkage, the frizz, all of it. You have to sit in that discomfort if you're going to commit to this journey. I admit that I still, to some degree, have those euro centric hair standards ingrained into me, because my ultimate goal for my locs is to have those matured, long, swishy locs. Basically like box braids, but permanent and with your actual hair instead of extensions. Still, I'll have to get through the frizzy, budding "crazy" stage before I get to that, and it's given me enough time to appreciate and accept my hair for what it is. Even if I am going to have euro-centric adjacent hair, at least it will be my own hair, growing out of my scalp in its natural form, completely unprocessed. The hanging and swinging motion is simply just a byproduct of my hair maturing and dropping to form locs, which is 4c hair just doing what it does. So it's fine by me. But for now, my hair needs to bud, and stick up, and be frizzy, and kind of hard to style and that's just fine too. It's my hair and I accept it unconditionally.
So just read the title, instantly liked. Will watch, but wanted to share that my Uncle recently referred to our hair as “refined.” Never in my life had I heard someone refer to 4c hair in a way that wasn’t condescending but was still incredibly positive.
The creator Patricia Bright is the only person online that I’ve seen with thin 4c hair, she relaxes it and mainly wears wigs tho 🙃 we still got a ways to go over here….
I loved that poem and I relate so much! Growing up, I always just wanted to fit in and have my type 4 hair swing like all the other girls. It can be difficult to unlearn, but I admire you so much for moving past that, your natural hair is so beautiful ❤
I really relate to you on this, being in super white spaces you internalize your differences as parts you may need to shrink or change about yourself. I especially relate to the feeling of realizing people weren't identifying me or like associating me with being a girl or being feminine. All of your feelings and thoughts are super valid! Thank you for sharing with us :)
Definitely relatable. I’ve been natural since 2014 and I still struggle with loving my hair without manipulation. It’s called a journey for a reason I guess.
Literally the struggles I went through as a child with a mom and older sister with relaxed hair. I was relaxed from ages 4 to 14 and was convinced for the majority of my early childhood that I had naturally straight hair LMAOOOO. When I finally fought against it and big chopped, I was made fun of by my family and peers. I just learned to keep going despite the backlash (and also got into wigs and crochet to hide my hair). I thought I moved past it when my hair grew out long and I was happy with it, but after doing a big chop last year I understand that I'm still battling a lot of internal hatred against my hair and what it means for my femininity.
100% relatable. I always wore my hair natural but in twist outs or braid outs. I didn't start doing a wash and go until I was 30 and the stylist pointed out what beautiful tiny corkscrew curls I had. Honestly it never before occurred to me that my hair could be considered pretty or even acceptable. I recently started wearing extensions and definitely notice that pretty privilege is a thing and I didn't experience it when I wore my hair natural for the past 10 plus years. I thought I'd basically become invisible because I was older but turns out the world just isn't ready for these curls. It's kinda sad and frustrating but it is what it is.
And that’s why I love that the newer generations of black girls are starting to wear and appreciate their natural hair more often. We’re creating our own standard of beauty😍
Amanda!!! Not your poem having me in tears! So raw and so beautiful. This is something I identify with deeply and I’m so glad that you shed light on this topic! Black women are the only demographic that grow up feeling ashamed of the way our hair naturally grows from our scalp! I can relate to over compensating for the perceived lack of femininity that come with wearing our hair in a short 4c afro by wearing more makeup or larger earrings. I can relate to constantly tugging at my strands to show everyone that it’s much longer than it appears or going back in the archives to show how long it used to be. I’ve spent hundreds upon hundreds of dollars trying to find that right style to hide my hair under! I’ve been natural for 13 years (mostly heat trained or wearing wigs) but no matter how many times I wear my hair out it never quite feels like “me,” and that is a sad realization! Your video has inspired me to try again and continue to re-introduce myself to the real me. Love your content girly!! 🥰
I've started wearing my 4C hair unstretched (detangled! But unstretched) more often and only recently have liked how it looks. Which is crazy because I always like how it looks on other people. I think it looks great on you!
once you mentioned the "ponytail swing," i clapped at my computer bc omg i wanted that bounce so bad too!! it wasn't until i got sew ins and the like but i felt my most feminine with them in. i cut my hair into a pixie cut about a year ago, and have been dressing more "masculine" bc i assumedly felt more masculine due to my hair being shorter (also nonbinary vibes hehe). tbh this video was amazing to see as someone who also grew up in predominately white spaces. my childhood experiences feel so seen :')
i loooooooved this video! so i used to be a teacher and i did this experiment where for the last month of school i wore my hair in my natural fro or cornrows ( and i don't mean slick back with perfect edges). and it was soooo nice to just wake up, put some water on my head, and walk out the door. i felt so free. there was also one black student in our class and her mom would always do her natural hair in cute styles and i would make sure to compliment her so she can feel good about her 4c fro.
i'm definitely trying to make sure i compliment black women when I see them wear their natural hair and the fact that you do it for young black girls makes my heart so happy
I have a scalp condition right now so I have to wash my hair regularly and I've been wearing my hair like it grows from my scalp regularly and I can totally relate on the aspect of femininity and how I'm perceived with it out especially since it is not like the "acceptable" length but it has definitely been easier to take care of than I told myself it would be. Definitely challenging why I think it isn't the most presentable or whatever in certain situations and just accepting it to exist as it is. Thank you for being vulnerable and putting this out
Hey Amanda, I grew up in a predominantly white neighbourhood as well (suburbs of Toronto). I vividly remember wanting my hair to swing and having the same feeling with my box braids, lol! It sounds silly now but that feeling was so real! I really loved your poem btw! It was soo good!! 😍 Thank you for your vulnerability. It's always good to connect with like-minded people. I also loved seeing Nella's afro in The Other Black Girl. I felt seen and it was great! 😍You look very pretty btw!!!
4c hair IS good hair. We have to delete the negative programing around our natural hair, beauty and femininity in order to truly love on and enjoying wearing our hair and making it it's best self instead of wishing it was something else. All hair is good hair when it's healthy - that's what most important. I'm 4A and I remember one day early in my natural journey about 10yrs ago or so my Mom telling me I needed to go do my hair because I was wearing it as is in its shrunken clean state with a bobby pin or two. I told her it was done and she just shook her head LOL I love this content. Keep it growing.
This was such a big part of why I loc’ed my hair. I stopped wearing my natural hair out at all for around 3 years and it made me sad how most of the feelings I felt towards my hair were stress and anger. I’m only 8 months loc’ed now but sometimes I’ll style my hair or even just have an exceptionally good hair day and be in awe of how good I feel about myself as I am. Even though locs are a type of manipulation I’m enjoying my hair far more than I think I ever have. Your hair is so beautiful just as it is and I hope we can all find our path to realizing we’re all perfectly made
I agree so much with your points on femininity. I also had a realization in elementary school that people didn't really perceive me as a girl. But what I've noticed about being perceived as more masculine is that I get taken more seriously and treated more as an equal by my male peers. I think that people who fit into that rigid Western standard of femininity that you described tend to be treated well or at least acknowledged because of their attractiveness, which, because we live in a society, plays a heavy part in an individual's perceived worth. The girls who are seen as masculine, the girls who aren't perceived as girls, get taken more seriously because they aren't feminine; they are seen as more worthy of actual respect and attention, but at the same time, they become "unattractive". I know a lot of girls who don't fit into that rigid mould but are still perceived as girls, and they are overlooked by guys that would otherwise talk to me as they would anyone else.
Ok but in the ballet video you looked the best!! I don’t even “do” instagram but I recalled seeing that and how it made me feel. Not “comparing”you to the others but as a black girl with 4 something hair it was just beautiful to me and it affected me so much and I didn’t even know it. It should be regular. It’s soooo beautiful. I was raised with white people too and though I didn’t really envy their hair, I loved how in my first week of moving to the south to attend an hbcu we had a guest speaker talk about how we are special because our hair grows toward the sun. I wish we all were comfortable wearing our hair in its natural state.
Such a beautiful and candid conversation. 🙏 thank you for this!!My mom entered the workforce in the late 70’s early 80’s here in L. A. and she was NOT allowed to wear braids or an afro. She straightened but mostly wore wigs and weaves. My hair was straightened from like 3-4 years old then I got a jerri curl in the early 80’s (basically a curly perm for afro textured hair) that softened my 4C hair and had to constantly be slathered with the jerri curl wet hair spray to keep the soft curls. Later I got a straightening perm ( relaxer) to keep my hair straight especially when swimming so that my hair would fall, swing, blow in the wind and swish in a pony tail or that I could wear wet to school like ALL girls who have straight hair ( insert your white, Asian, Latino culture here basically everybody but me). To me that wasn’t such a big deal but it was a big deal to the boys so it became an issue for girls like me. At 19 I cut my perm off waayyy before the natural hair movement in 1992. I never knew what my real hair texture looked or felt like. I wore dreadlocks for about 20 years after that then cut them off and have experimented with braids, crochet styles, wigs and even the occasional straightening. For me my 4C hair IS challenging because I work in a government office and am sometimes on camera so walking the line between natural but groomed is a fine line for those looking in. And honestly I get waaayyy more complements when I wear a wig, braids or straighten it. IRL for me, there are very few who view my short fro as beautiful, even though I look in the mirror and I 1000 percent know it is. 🤷🏾♀️
Black hair isn't nappy its just dehydrated. Ever since I Started using products that keeps my hair hydrated, it never gets tangled and has grown a lot.
I’d have never known ‘in between’ Afro’s were missing until this. You’re giving us answers to questions no one even knew to ask, and from the sound of it, you didn’t even know. This is way more precise and calculated than you may have intended it to be.
Okay *screaming* loved this video, your poem, and your thoughts!! You articulated how I have been feeling for so long. I also love the way Nella's hair was in the other black girl!! It was lowkey very therapeutic and made me reflect a lot about my relationship with my hair. I also loved Ayo's hair in Bottoms.I hope I can get to the point where I look at my hair and love it without any type of manipulation. My therapist actually asked my what would it look like to just properly care for my hair and leave it at that. And that helped reframe a little bit. Thank you for sharing
Nice video! I also think some people say it's unmanageable because they don't actually know how to take care of it or what works for them. Like, your hair doesn't get very tangled if you always comb/style it with a bit of water. That's hard to learn though in a country like the U.S., even with the internet a lot of "natural hair" advice is for high porosity hair or other curl types but feign otherwise. (I used castor oil for years b/c I was told to but it was actually breaking my low porosity hair off!)
the fro looks really nice! definitely feel like a lot of black kids, especially growing up either upper middle class or in a predominantly white neighborhood or even a bit ostracized from other black folks, have the same experience. i have pretty complicated relationship with my hair. i rock the weird "good at smash bros" 4c afro and i definitely had a medusa phase where i felt like i was battling with it constantly. after a while, i just kind of gave up and tried to accept whatever is going on up there as long as its healthy. bc i am a male and lived in a household where growing out your hair as a man was discouraged i felt like i didnt really have much guidance besides youtube tutorials and ive always been frustrated with the state of my hair. that being said, your conclusion is excellent. everyone should accept and appreciate the way their hair grows naturally as difficult as it may be to confront. i think ive come a long way myself since highschool but i feel i still have a long way to go
My hair has been natural since 2009 and have been wearing it out since 2015. I was between weaves and just decided go for it. Never in my life have i felt more like me. Wish i would have known to do this before. Im the laziest natural. Im not doing twist outs, partly out of laziness but mostly I don't want to mimic a hair type that isn't mine. I wear my hair free form afros, roll/tucks or high puffs. At first certain persuasion of people would make micro aggressive comments like "why did I bother doing my hair, yours looks better" implying my hair wasn't done when I did do my hair. Or "your hair looks so much better straight." But I feel that I'm so much more confident with my hair the way it grows. I absolutely LOVE my hair ❤.
It's because society tells you you're not supposed to feel comfortable with your natural hair. Whether it's through getting a job, how you're treated and comments people say to you.
Ok the part where you said you feel more insecure about wearing baggier clothes with your natural hair is so relatable. I have locs and sometimes I get nervous about wearing baggier clothes b/c I think I won't be perceived as feminine. When I didn't wear locs/my natural hair I never had this fear. It sucks but it's something I'm working on.
The level of "I relate to this on every count" is unreal. Same same same same. Not to JUST highlight the romantic aspect because everything you said in this video is important and you could've easily taken these notes from my own life and thought processes... But, once I found myself in a situation where I was set to travel with my partner and didn't get to do my braids as I usually like to do while traveling mostly for convenience as I tell myself, and the panic that hit me (he is white) when I realised he'd be seeing me for the first time with my hair out. Wow. And it was uncomfortable in all the ways you could think of. I spent the first half of that trip asking around and trying to figure out where I could do my hair while we were there (African country so I was like, there's a place). Long story short, I did not end up doing my hair. My hair was dry af, had zero products with me so it wasn't even in a good state and I couldn't manipulate it much. He saw me literally not done up. Interestingly, this spurred on curiosity in him. He was there when I did my twists at night before bed, watched me at times, asked questions. He was curious more than anything while I worked through being seen in a possibly different light by my partner. I was afraid he'd not find me attractive, back away, I'd not be what he signed up for, as you said. Can I tell you the RELIEF I felt after that trip. We're long distance and it's likely that had things not occured as they did where I was forced to have my hair out, he probably still would not have seen me in my natural hair. And I hate to say it, because like you I also want my partner to see ALL of me, especially in my most bare state, if you will. Who wouldn't want that? Although I wore my afro proudly on my online profile where we met, it was still manipulated and lush and "put together" if you will. This time, he got to see the nitty gritty of hair in varying situations. It's so sad we've been programmed to be ashamed of our hair. I am STILL working through showing up in spaces (that tend to be quite white) whether its work, socially, etc, and feeling beautiful and complete and like I'm not lacking when I show up with my hair as is. Whew. Long story. Black women, you are insanely beautiful. I love seeing us wear our hair and constantly defy the standard and create one for ourselves instead. Go out there and be great. Thank you for your voice, dear Amanda.
I stumbled on this video at the perfect time. I was planning on taking my old braids out this night and putting in twists. I'm in college and I always worry about what I'm going to do to my hair during its transition to another hairstyle and it dawned on me how I never even consider just wearing my hair in its natural state because I almost never see anyone with 4c hair just wear it naturally. This inspired me to just wear my hair and stop worrying about what people think. Thank you so much for making this video❤.
I lowkey cried watching this I also grew up around mostly white ppl and I know other woman have my hair type but I still feel alone in trying to love my natural hair. It felt like a mini therapy session and I wish as black woman we could come together, love each other and have a safe place to express our struggles. Hopefully one day I’ll work up to wearing my hair shrunken !!
really love this video! I also have 4C hair. Haven’t worn it out much this year just bc wigs or crochet have been more convenient, but I’ve been wanting to wear it out more and try new styles (besides my usual puff) I actually love the way my hair looks shrunken and getting out the shower, but I’m also scared of it tangling so I just twist and braid it up. You’ve actually inspired me to play around with it in it’s shrunken, non twisted state. I can also relate to the “ponytail swing” takes me back to 3rd grade when I thought petroleum jelly would make my hair swing 💀💀💀Your fro looks so cute!! ☺️
Thats what I have been saying. The illusion of 4c hair being difficult is because your trying to not have 4c hair. Like when i wear my fro, i just wake up maybe spray some hair refreser liquid shit than go about my day. Even with low maintenance protective hairstyles, I just wake up and go about my day. Where is the hard part? I wash my hair every 2 weeks. White girlies being washing it everyday, and wake up early to straighten it. Why is my hair more difficult?
The ponytail swing thing is real though, I love my hair in a Dora the explorer style triangle cut, but I always end up growing my hair out sometimes because I miss being able to get my hair in a high pony tail or bun so it’s out of my face but that ponytail swing is so fun until you whip your own face lol. But also I feel like with hair you always want what you don’t have. When my hair is short I miss the length so I can get it completely off my face and neck. When it’s long I miss how fast it dries and how much easier it is to style short. When my hair is in its curls/waves I hate the frizz and how unpredictable natural curls are. When my curls fall down and my hair is basically straight I hate how boring it is. Right now my hair is dyed purple and I love how it looks but the whole washing process and having to think about transfer to my pillows or whatever if my hair gets damp, but before I died it I was so so bored of the brown even though everyone always complimented my natural color. The best thing about hair is that it grows back, hair feels so high stakes because it’s such a big part of our appearance, but it’s also so low stakes because even if you bleach it and dye it bright green, if you cut it off it’ll grow back in your regular color no harm no foul. Getting a full on pixie cut/buzz cut at some point in life is 10/10 because even if you don’t end up wanting to keep it short you learn that it’s not the end of the world and for me at least I’m just not as freaked out about just trying stuff with my hair. Also your natural hair is beautiful! I love the little fro, it’s so disco in the best possible way! I hope you enjoy your experiment and have fun with it. I really think there’s a great new years look on the cards for you with a sequin dress and silver chunky glitter eyeshadow look with the fro and I’m envisioning goldfish earrings with that. But my taste is trash so take my advice at your own risk.
happy for you to feel good in your natural way! As a queer more androgynous person I can relate to the whole battling femininity standards. You naturally have a very beautiful feminine face and I would say more feminine energy, hair in general is always gender neutral, society just puts certain types/ styles in a box. Expressing our selves inspires others to do the same
You're hair is beautiful! I've been natural for almost ten years, I have predominantly 4C textured hair. It's definitely been a journey of learning and "accepting" what my hairs natural tendencies are with and without product... I grew up during a time when there wasn't a lot of representations of 4C hair in its natural state, and we didn't have YT back then hence I didn't know what to expect of my hair nor how to care for it after transitioning to natural... Honestly it's been tough learning my hair. I transitioned from relaxed to natural in my late 30s I'm now close to 50 years old dealing with hormonal shifts and physical health challenges which have effected my hairs health... I love my natural hair, I love the texture etc but it's a lot of "work" to maintain and I'm aware that it's unpopular to admit that natural hair can take extra effort but for me this has been very true... I'm not a professional hair stylist, and can't afford repeat trips to the hair salon at this time, I simply don't always feel like the extra steps necessary to maintain my hair myself... I'm also a natural who happens to live with a physical health condition which reduces the amount of physical energy as well as dexterity I can spare for "one" task as for hair extensions braids? etc. I had never worn extensions until a week or so ago... Prior to my experience with the extensions I had always worn my own hair even while relaxed. the extensions are similar in texture to my own hair in fact it blended well enough that it was assumed my own hair during a public outing... I might wear them again once in a while on those extra lazy days, I think it's okay to wear and do whatever we want with our hair, if we want to wear it natural awesome, if we want to relax or wear extensions that's okay too I'm subscribed to both relaxed and natural hair and beauty channels all have great info, we should do whatever makes us Happy! and helps us get on with our day I don't have any immediate plans to relax my natural hair but I never say never because who knows? I might change my mind one day... I think there's far too much judgement around natural hair care in terms of what someone chooses to do with there hair and why. I think it's wonderful that we are learning to embrace our hair in its natural state, but we shouldn't be harshly criticized or judged if we choose to relax or wear extensions and or braids either... Natural hair is beautiful but it does require a different level of care and time to maintain and sometimes we may not be in the mood or have the additional energy to care for it especially if we are extra busy with other things. I know this is long, my apologies you're video is so thought provoking I wanted to add something to the conversation, I hope my grammar isn't too terrible, haha. have a great weekend ❤
You look beautiful and hearing your story was really lovely. I think the discourse surrounding natural black hair is often either wear your natural hair and be proud or do whatever you like with your hair it's just hair I think instead of having to pick a side acknowledging that you can accept it all yes you can wear your hair however you like we're autonomous beings and its our own choice what we like and feel comfortable with AND yes we do live in a world where 4c hair is not the beauty standard in the western world and it does require active framing of thoughts and effort to love and embrace in its natural state to counteract that.
7:55 that happened to a lot of girls at my school. they wore makeup so often that when they didnt, people would ask them if they were sick because they looked so "different". i would go some days with light makeup and some days without so people wouldnt treat me like that🥲
i really really love this video. I'm super passionate about advocating and uplifting black women wearing their natural type 4 hair and I don't mean to feed into the whole thing about attaching too much of our self worth to beauty - also it's kinda cliche what I'm about to say - but honestly your ridiculously gorgeous features are so much on display and brought out by your afro. in the same way you said aisha brought you confidence to wear your hair shruken, i now feel a bit more confident about wearing my hair shrunken! thanks for the video and sharing your thoughts
I pretty much wear my 4c hair shrunken (I do the wash and go method) or I wear I scarf. It wasn’t easy to start wearing my hair shrunken but I feel the most comfortable when I wear my hair like that.
I love your fro. I feel like each style gives me a different vibe - just like clothes. An Afro feels free-er to me, like an artist creating something or a woman strolling barefoot through a field of flowers in a sundress. Just feminine and free 🤎💖✨
your fro is so beautiful 💓💓 i consistently had a fro for a few years (9th grade to 12th grade) only doing my own braids once every few months and keeping them for less than a month because i missed my fro so much. when i first cut my hair, i used to feel so bad about how short it was and sometimes my friends made me the butt of the joke for being "bald" and i played into it so it would feel less bad. but it grew pretty long actually. ive had locs since i graduated high school and sometimes i really really miss my fro even though i love my locs! i love this video n how you presented your wisdom. i hope this helps a person younger than us who has hair like ours and doesnt feel goos about it. thank you💓💓
I totally relate to the whole wearing your hair in it’s shrunken and natural state and being mistaken for a little boy because when I leave my 6 year old daughter’s 4c hair just how it grows out of her head and I don’t have it styled in braids or stretched out with bows and what not people always mistake her for my son and I have to constantly correct them, when they say he or him or his, that she’s my Daughter and it’s very frustrating to me that that type of hair is automatically associated with masculine energy even when she’s clearly wearing pink tie-dye shirt. And it’s been this way since she was born. At every age they’ve done this to her. People of all ages and races and genders. I wish I could post a pic here because she is a spitting image of me (with darker skin and don’t even get me started about that) and has clear feminine features. even her voice and the way she talks it’s giving little girl. She’s super cute and I promise nothing about her gives male. It’s her hair. It’s always been the way society views shrunken 4c hair. And her beautiful dark skin! Ugh.
I've struggled with my hair all my life and Iet my out a year it was nice then when I found box braids in the beginning of college days I felt comfortable along with cornrows too. Now I've been having my hair out for another year im loving. I also having c4 hair is definitely a struggle no joke. .My two favorite hairstyles with braids box braids and cornrows.
Awww I really appreciate this video I feel like we as black women need to hear this more most of us have been there before. I’m 35 now but when I was in high school I did not want to wear make up for that same reason! It’s true when people see you without it you do look sick or tired. It’s nothing worse than embracing a fake version of yourself. Love you first and then when you happen to wear a little makeup up it’s an appreciated compliment instead of an insult. 2020 Covid is when I really stopped with the little makeup ( eye brows, eyeliner , mascara look I use to do lol) I loc,d my hair and this is the most confident and beautiful I have ever felt!!! I feel free and beautiful and authentic and if someone doesn’t accept you for your TRUE beauty screw them!!! Let’s all embrace what the creator gave us! Our hair is beautiful, versatile, amazing and there is no other person on the planet with hair like US!!!!💕💕💕💕
I had the same fear with makeup! I never wanted to need to something external to feel comfortable leaving the house. Thats why Ive always avoided braids or extensions but its still hard navigating short hair when you don't feel good or pretty having it. Its such a struggle
super relatable!! I’ve been wearing a wig for convenience, but at a certain point it gets to be a little disorienting. I have to take it off to remember what I actually look like! Also a fear of mine to have a partner lose interest because they see my actual hair- but we deserve to be loved in all of our hair phases. I’m going out tonight with a new partner and this video definitely inspired me to wear my fro so thank you for sharing!!
This was way too relatable! I am so thankful you made this video because it put into words exactly how I’ve been feeling for the majority of my life. I think these conversations are soooo important and I always have to remind myself that having natural 4c is a journey but it is not one you have to go through alone! Thank you so much for this and you look beautiful!
so glad I watched this when I did :,) I just started wearing my afro out and I’ve been nervous about it but I could relate to like everything in this video and knowing I’m not the only one that grew up like this is like okay so I’m NOT crazy lol. seeing how cute you look in your natural hair makes me really excited to wear mine too :) tysm for your video!
So much of this video is relatable. Especially wanting hair that moves like white girls hair does when i was younger. Honetly the Whip My Hair video did a lot for 8 year old me in thinking of my braids as cool in its own right rather than an immitation of that. One of my liberatory moments was cutting off all my hair in high school. I still ocassionally miss having shoulder length hair but just the freedom it gave me was amazing
I'm relating! I've been natural my entire life and at the start of this year I decided to loc my hair and it's funny how much this process has in common with how I think people feel about "going natural". I started doing my own hair when I was 16 or 17, and for me, a big source of shame was not being able to style it as well as my mother could. So I spent years trying to get better at twisting and braiding and twist outs etc. I have a lot of hair (like, a lot a lot), so ANYTHING I did took tons of time. After a few years of doing all that, I realized that I just don't like doing hair. I think this was a hard pill to swallow, because I don't dislike my hair itself - I just have no interest in learning how to do a straight part, and I kept my hair in twists most of the time anyway just so I wouldn't have to mess with it for a few weeks. But hair is such a big part of Black womanhood, that it felt like I was giving up on something by locking it. I had to get over it tho I couldn't afford to keep paying them extra charges at the salon for having thick type 4 hair, OR keep spending entire weekends in the shower. I'm at the stage in the loc process where my hair looks like twists that should have been taken out a long time ago, and it's uhhh stressful. I feel similarly to you as far as thinking I look unprofessional, or that my hair makes me unattractive. But at the end of the day I am so happy with how much time I'm saving by not doing my hair every few days, I don't think I'm going to give up any time soon. Wishing you the best on this hair journey! And most of all, whatever you decide to do, I hope you have fun :)
It’s just interesting, I feel the same way, it’s been hard for me to wear my hair as it grows from my head. Yet, I look at your hair and think she’s so beautiful her hair is perfect. We can really be our worst critics sometimes.
I relate so much to wanting someone to fall in love with you in your natural state! That's one of the reasons I wear my natural hair most of the time. I want to attract the right people.
8:55 I also felt that way about make up and filters. I used to only use filters until I realized I relied on them the same way people do w makeup. Is also started thinking this about my hair as well. I started myself with wigs even tho they were kinky but I want to fully love my natural self and not rely on outside sources
After years of wearing wigs I finally decided to give my hair a break because my edges are suffering. But I feel like I look weird with my natural hair because I was so use to seeing myself with only wigs on. It has messed with my head and so I’m having to reassure myself that it is okay to wear my natural hair out. I straighten it and hated it. It poofed right back out. But I told myself that it’s ok I will find a style that I like eventually but I am definitely giving the wigs a break until my hair is 💯 healthy. It’s going to be a journey but I’m ok with that. I’ve worn my hair in wash and go/twist out etc and I loved it in that state BUT the work it takes to maintain those hairstyles is so hard when you have very little time to tend to yourself. But I have to do this for the health of my hair and also for my mental
lovely video and I very much related on the makeup front and overall in general, it is so necessary to feel like you can look in the mirror and at least go: I look like me, even if I might not feel beautiful all the time I feel like myself, for me I've been trying to leave the house more days without doing little things like filling in my eyebrows
You are lovely, and this video was great ❤ This was a word! Remember all the TH-cam naturals endorsing pineapple buns? But that's not what my hair wanted to do, and it felt like I was binding it up to be "elegant" (and breaking off the back strands). I feel much happier when I let my hair be, rather than force it up or down/stretched.
This was such a great video and lovely anecdote! I am white and have short hair as a woman, so though I don't have the experience of texturism and lacking that representation, I can relate on the level of having a complicated relationship with my femininity with short hair. I've been confused for a boy a few times (have had short hair for most of my life, just feels more like me) and I also don't feel as comfortable in the hyper- or even typical feminine styles that are especially more embraced these days. I can see how there's a whole other level of disconnect when that ideal is very white and hearing your perspective on that was really interesting. Anyways, you look great and really liked the video!
This video is such good timing. I agree with you 100% and really liked your poem. I have been having the same thoughts about my hair. This year I have had my hair in more protective styles than wearing it out because of how I am perceived when I wear my hair out. When I wear my hair out, I am perceived as much younger than I am which can be frustrating or I am seen as less feminine. But now I am at the point where I just want my hair to be healthy and I am just over trying to look how people think I should look.
The poem was actually great.
It absolutely slapped
I was looking for this comment
Yeaa it was! I'd say it's the first poem I've actually liked
Scholar level 🤓🥰
It was so creative and beautiful 💗
Does anyone remember what happened to Lipgloss from Tik Tok? She was so severely bullied for simply wearing her natural 4C hair out and not styling it but her point was so valid and she was stunning the way she was. You shouldn’t have to style your hair every single day if you don’t feel like it. Manipulating your hair that often also leads to breakage anyway. So happy you made this video ❤
yes! Loved her videos and miss her account!
she said on her tiktok that she is focusing on school and won't be on her socials
As I remember, she was bullied for saying that only white men appreciated her natural hair. I was shocked at the bullying backlash because she told no lies!!! When I went natural so many more white, Latino and Asian men complemented me vs Black men.
@@MK-hh1vooop
I have 4c hair that’s light colored, sparse but thick, and highly porous. I used to be a highly popular pole dancer in strip clubs. I was expected to wear wigs, weaves, etc. I hated it. My hair hated it, because it caused damage even for a short time of wearing them. My hair was considered “undone” when I wore a cute Afro puff or braids. Hair products never worked on my edges to make designs, etc, but other women with 3a - 4b could throw water on their hair, wear braids, or a light press with no style, bump, or part just looking like a damn puppy and no one would say anything. One day I told management, “You knew my ass was Black when you hired me”. 😂 I was fired not long after that. I didn’t care. I’ve had similar experiences on tv show sets where people don’t know how to style my hair, so I usually showed up with it done. I’ve always worn my natural hair and the 7 years I danced was the longest that I didn’t. I stand up to anyone that says anything negative about my hair. 💜
4c natural for almost 25 years. My advice (what I wish someone had told me):
1) Lean into what YOUR hair does. Once you let go of trying to make your hair behave like hair of a different texture, you'll find ways of styling that you like
2) Embrace shape and volume, it's what we have in spades. Figure out which shape/shapes look nice to you when combined with your facial features and you're golden
3) Wearing it shrunken is great (it's when it looks the most full and lush imo).But in this state it's more susceptible to tangling, so just be aware and careful.
4) It's also ok to style your hair. Even most white women style their hair, despite this idea we have that they fall out of bed with their hair ready to go. Styling doesn't take an inordinate amount of time once you figure out what works for you.
I've got fine 4c hair as well and these tips are GOLDEN! Thanks for sharing!!
True wisdom. I've been natural for almost as long, yet occasionally I still have some of the "why won't it do this" struggles. But your wisdom is strong! Thank you for sharing.
@@tammygant4216 Makes all the difference in the world. It's the difference between playing basketball with a basketball versus a soccer ball or a football. Choose the latter two and what is usually a perfectly functional and interesting game becomes un-playable. If you have a basketball, play basketball. If you have a baseball, don't try to play golf, play baseball.
I love these tips. Especially the last one. It’s okay to style it, slick your edges, honestly do it however you want to it. So many ppl think going natural is just letting your hair be unruly but it’s not. Black people have braided or styled their hair luxuriously for thousands of years. Especially because leaving it out in it natural state will lead to SO much breakage from detangling
@@tylachad6102 The last tip wasn’t the point of her comment. It was meant to reassure the reader not to feel bad about styling just because you are choosing to let your hair be as much as possible. It’s not a ‘who can manipulate their hair the least’ competition. Imo the last tip was the least important, which is why it was last. The point of the comment was to *mostly* let your hair be and do what is best for it, not what may look best for it according to certain preferences - yt ones.
I wrote my senior thesis about black hair and the natural hair movement. After interviewing other black girls on campus, one of my conclusions were seeing other women natural was a major influence in other women going natural.
I did too!!
I'm sure it is a major influence. When I took a CNA course, the class was full of all black women. My teacher was a well paid RN who also started and ran the school. I had 4 small kids and was a single mother, I couldn't always do my hair. So, after the first week of class, I threw my wig off and wore my natural hair. My instructor would always look at my hair, and the next thing that I knew, she ditched her wigs and came to class in her natural hair. She had a small afro with a headband around it and it was so cute. I knew that she wore hers because I wore mine, and I was proud.
@@Heat_Rush Love that 🙌🏾
Grew up in a predominantly white area too, had my hair relaxed at 4 years old until middle school. It was damaged, short, and caused me a lot of emotional damage. I decided to say no to relaxers and go natural, though i didn’t start wearing it out freely until college. It’s been liberating for me to wear my natural hair and feel confident. I feel as if i don’t have to hide anymore
I live in a predominantly black country and in my part of the world, seeing women who look like you is a norm and people will look at you and see a beautiful young woman, short 4c hair and all but it's crazy that people view the way we look negatively in other parts of the world. I also hate that some people genuinely believe that our hair is hard to manage and that you need to buy a 1000 products to manage it. I only use an ordinary shampoo, conditioner and a hair oil on my hair and my hair is doing just fine. Some people will obviously need a bit more products than I do but that's not because their hair is hard to manage but because we all do different things to our hair and we need different products to satisfy those needs. Thank you for sharing this with us and I really thought your poem was good❤.
Wheee do you live?
Where are you from?
Same i'm in the caribbean, weave wigs isn't standardized
I think it because a lot of places worldwide are anti black and colonized
I have 4C hair and wear my hair natural and it is more challenging to manage. It breaks and knots EASILY and it constantly coils into itself. It's also dry and needs constant moisture. It doesn't lay down when in an afro and if it's short, it doesn't move. Our hair molds easily and can point in many different directions. So it can give more of an unkempt appearance.
With all that being said....I've learned to love my 4C hair and find products that work to make it less of a challenge. ❤
It's ok to admit our hair is MORE challenging than ANY other hair. Is the very last hair type on the chart anyone could have and the only hair type to belong to black people.
Doesn't mean I'm puttong our hair down. It's just the truth. I don't compare my hair to other hair types anyway. I work with what God gave me. ❤
god, she is so pretty
Bro fr, I'm blushing 😂
Honest to God one of the most beatiful women I have ever seen she's damn near flawless looks wise
She is stunning with flawless skin and incredible eyes
lol what is this i swear i never, ever, EVER do these types of comments, or comments in general. but i do not regret this one lol she is beautiful
Girl, I felt the SAME WAY about makeup in highschool. I was worried that if I started wearing it regularly, I'd feel like a panda without its spots if I took it off one day just to let my skin be its natural self. So I did the actual minimum, and even now makeup is mainly reserved for "special occasions."
I don't know if it helps to hear a stranger say it, but you are also incredibly pretty in my eyes. Your features are sweet and youthful and well-balanced, and it's very pleasant to see you laugh and talk. There's many different categories of "feminine" so I wouldn't stress too much about presenting yourself in a certain way to compensate for what you might imagine you are lacking. You're gorgeous, Ms. Rapunzel 😍
Also, as a straight hair girlie, I just want to say that I'm literally mesmerized by people who have curly hair, and especially gravity-defying afros. It sucks that society penalizes certain textures and colors rather than celebrate them... Our skin and hair and bodies, from our ancestors we inherit. We are born beautiful, and it all deserves equal merit.
I totally agree with everything you wrote🙌
It rhymes!
My sister also went to a predominantly white private school in NYC and I imagine your story mirrors hers a lot. It’s going to take a lot to truly separate ourselves from the notion of white adjacent desirability. We will have to devote a lot of that thought just to hair alone. But you already know u look stunning
Yo elijah why were you the first comment I saw when I scrolled down telling my businessss?!! In all seriousness this really does resonate and I did go through a very similar process at the end of high school/early college when I started to wear my hair fully natural. At this point my natural hair is my default and it's so freeing
@@toesoes damn, wow lol I didn’t expect to bump into you in the wild. Idk why I am such a compulsive TH-cam commenter
@@MrTooEarnestOnlineyou guys are cute. 😂😂😂❤
The comment on the ponytail was REAL. I also went to a predominantly white primary school growing up and for me it was the fringe (or bangs lol) I wanted a fringe soooo bad I would put a headscarf on my head to imitate a fringe at home and I’d feel so beautiful even though I definitely must’ve looked a hot mess.
Embracing the notion of upward growth is so magical. I love when people say our hair defies gravity because it really feels like a gift from nature. Great video topic as always, thanks for sharing your experiences ❤️
That "using a scarf as a fringe" making you feel "so beautiful" hit me deep in places I didn't know I had. Damn girl, thats the kind of shit that makes me mad, the fact that we're pushed into corners like that. But good look on your hair journey sis. Do whatever it takes to love yourself.
I think it's interesting to keep in mind that in precolonial Africa, hair was braided and people had so many different styles, cuts, natural products. Hair told a story of your age, social status, marital status etc.. It was rarely just left as it was for many different tribes. It was such an important tool for self expression and identity. l think it's normal that we might want to do something extra with it. Nothing wrong with leaving it and combing it (or not) into a beautiful afro.
Mainly sheabutter and coco butter but I see your point. Honestly, I feel like outside of braiding though, many west Africans esp have lost the art of actual hair care. I say this as a Ghanaian American btw. It's all about just putting in extension hair. A lot of them do know how to braid without blow drying at least.
I explained this to an East Asian friend the other day, because he assumed that me choosing to braid my hair was the same as wearing a straight wig. I think it's a shame that we're reaching the point where people think that Africans didn't have a hair culture before 'the white man' arrived. Even using extensions in the braids wasn't unusual (granted they weren't made of plastic though!)
Absolutely this
@@TheCrystalChaplin so true!! Like the Himba women in Namibia 🇳🇦
This take is very relatable. I wore twists for about 5 years and got used to not receiving compliments on my hair. The times I got some, it was almost always after a retwist, when the hair looked conventionally neat.
Learning to like your 4c hair is a journey, because everywhere you look, the world is saying its not beautiful.
It takes time, and honestly adopting an independent perspective of how beautiful your hair is.
You couldn't have posted this at a better time. I'm about to take out my braids and I want to start wearing my hair how it grows for a bit. I have all the same thoughts and feelings you expressed so thank you so much! It's nice to see someone going on this same journey
When I got box braids for the first time I was so excited because 'I looked like a girl'
My brother was confused, so I listed off names of girls my age (all white)
But then I also realized I never appreciated cornrows because 'I looked like a boy' because it looked like I had no or short hair
Now, in big part thanks to TikTok, I realized a lot of natural Black hairstyles are pretty gender neutral (afro, locs, twists, dreads, and so on)
You said someone mistook you for a guy, but I know a guy with an afro who kept getting mistaken as a girl (from the back)
Yep. The first time I wore my hair in long box braids to school, the attention I received was insane. Until then, I had mostly worn my hair in cornrows or short twists, no extensions. My hair was about shoulder length, but with shrinkage it appeared shorter. Then one day I rocked up with long box braids down to my back, and everyone was noticing me and telling me how pretty I looked. Even the one boy that I usually disliked and had beef with was suddenly nicer to me (short lived lol, we quickly went back to hating each other). One person told me that I "actually looked like a girl now"
Funny thing (or sad, depending how you look at it) is that my school was mostly black. Goes to show had deeply we had internalised those white supremacist standards of beauty. From that day onwards, I would only wear my hair in long braids. I did not want to be seen with my natural hair out, which meant that I got my hair done back to back without a single break for years and years. This came at the detriment of my scalp and hair health. I ended up losing my edges due to the constant tension, and my hair went from being full and volumtious to thin and brittle :(
Fortunately I have my hair in locs now, and I'm seeking treatment for my damaged edges, so my hair is finally on the mend. My relationship with my hair is stronger than its ever been because locs, especially in the beginning, really force you to come to terms with your natural hair exactly as it grows out of your scalp. The kinkiness, the shrinkage, the frizz, all of it. You have to sit in that discomfort if you're going to commit to this journey.
I admit that I still, to some degree, have those euro centric hair standards ingrained into me, because my ultimate goal for my locs is to have those matured, long, swishy locs. Basically like box braids, but permanent and with your actual hair instead of extensions.
Still, I'll have to get through the frizzy, budding "crazy" stage before I get to that, and it's given me enough time to appreciate and accept my hair for what it is. Even if I am going to have euro-centric adjacent hair, at least it will be my own hair, growing out of my scalp in its natural form, completely unprocessed. The hanging and swinging motion is simply just a byproduct of my hair maturing and dropping to form locs, which is 4c hair just doing what it does. So it's fine by me. But for now, my hair needs to bud, and stick up, and be frizzy, and kind of hard to style and that's just fine too. It's my hair and I accept it unconditionally.
@@Candyrock15this is so offtopic but omg I rmr the source of ur pfp....I thought only 12 people watch/remember old yt fanimes
So just read the title, instantly liked. Will watch, but wanted to share that my Uncle recently referred to our hair as “refined.” Never in my life had I heard someone refer to 4c hair in a way that wasn’t condescending but was still incredibly positive.
It's positively posh. I love that. I'm gonna start using it.
It was a great poem and this was so relatable as I have really really fine 4c hair and I don’t see my hair on any platform and am yet to see it
Sounds like my hair but it’s fun
The creator Patricia Bright is the only person online that I’ve seen with thin 4c hair, she relaxes it and mainly wears wigs tho 🙃 we still got a ways to go over here….
I loved that poem and I relate so much! Growing up, I always just wanted to fit in and have my type 4 hair swing like all the other girls. It can be difficult to unlearn, but I admire you so much for moving past that, your natural hair is so beautiful ❤
I really relate to you on this, being in super white spaces you internalize your differences as parts you may need to shrink or change about yourself. I especially relate to the feeling of realizing people weren't identifying me or like associating me with being a girl or being feminine. All of your feelings and thoughts are super valid! Thank you for sharing with us :)
Definitely relatable. I’ve been natural since 2014 and I still struggle with loving my hair without manipulation. It’s called a journey for a reason I guess.
Literally the struggles I went through as a child with a mom and older sister with relaxed hair. I was relaxed from ages 4 to 14 and was convinced for the majority of my early childhood that I had naturally straight hair LMAOOOO. When I finally fought against it and big chopped, I was made fun of by my family and peers. I just learned to keep going despite the backlash (and also got into wigs and crochet to hide my hair). I thought I moved past it when my hair grew out long and I was happy with it, but after doing a big chop last year I understand that I'm still battling a lot of internal hatred against my hair and what it means for my femininity.
That poem was amazing
Yes! That's what I said!
100% relatable. I always wore my hair natural but in twist outs or braid outs. I didn't start doing a wash and go until I was 30 and the stylist pointed out what beautiful tiny corkscrew curls I had. Honestly it never before occurred to me that my hair could be considered pretty or even acceptable. I recently started wearing extensions and definitely notice that pretty privilege is a thing and I didn't experience it when I wore my hair natural for the past 10 plus years. I thought I'd basically become invisible because I was older but turns out the world just isn't ready for these curls. It's kinda sad and frustrating but it is what it is.
And that’s why I love that the newer generations of black girls are starting to wear and appreciate their natural hair more often. We’re creating our own standard of beauty😍
i loved your poem omg !! and you wrote it as a kid thats amazing
Totally! Like it should be published...seriously.
Amanda!!! Not your poem having me in tears! So raw and so beautiful. This is something I identify with deeply and I’m so glad that you shed light on this topic! Black women are the only demographic that grow up feeling ashamed of the way our hair naturally grows from our scalp! I can relate to over compensating for the perceived lack of femininity that come with wearing our hair in a short 4c afro by wearing more makeup or larger earrings. I can relate to constantly tugging at my strands to show everyone that it’s much longer than it appears or going back in the archives to show how long it used to be. I’ve spent hundreds upon hundreds of dollars trying to find that right style to hide my hair under! I’ve been natural for 13 years (mostly heat trained or wearing wigs) but no matter how many times I wear my hair out it never quite feels like “me,” and that is a sad realization! Your video has inspired me to try again and continue to re-introduce myself to the real me. Love your content girly!! 🥰
I've started wearing my 4C hair unstretched (detangled! But unstretched) more often and only recently have liked how it looks. Which is crazy because I always like how it looks on other people. I think it looks great on you!
once you mentioned the "ponytail swing," i clapped at my computer bc omg i wanted that bounce so bad too!! it wasn't until i got sew ins and the like but i felt my most feminine with them in. i cut my hair into a pixie cut about a year ago, and have been dressing more "masculine" bc i assumedly felt more masculine due to my hair being shorter (also nonbinary vibes hehe). tbh this video was amazing to see as someone who also grew up in predominately white spaces. my childhood experiences feel so seen :')
i loooooooved this video! so i used to be a teacher and i did this experiment where for the last month of school i wore my hair in my natural fro or cornrows ( and i don't mean slick back with perfect edges). and it was soooo nice to just wake up, put some water on my head, and walk out the door. i felt so free. there was also one black student in our class and her mom would always do her natural hair in cute styles and i would make sure to compliment her so she can feel good about her 4c fro.
i'm definitely trying to make sure i compliment black women when I see them wear their natural hair and the fact that you do it for young black girls makes my heart so happy
I have a scalp condition right now so I have to wash my hair regularly and I've been wearing my hair like it grows from my scalp regularly and I can totally relate on the aspect of femininity and how I'm perceived with it out especially since it is not like the "acceptable" length but it has definitely been easier to take care of than I told myself it would be. Definitely challenging why I think it isn't the most presentable or whatever in certain situations and just accepting it to exist as it is. Thank you for being vulnerable and putting this out
Ugh sooooo real!
What scalp condition do yoy have cus i have CCCA and if i wear my hair out, its in a puff to hide the balding
@@BelleLeilaNoir I have Seborrheic dermatitis , it flares up quite frequently and can be exhausting.
Hey Amanda,
I grew up in a predominantly white neighbourhood as well (suburbs of Toronto). I vividly remember wanting my hair to swing and having the same feeling with my box braids, lol! It sounds silly now but that feeling was so real! I really loved your poem btw! It was soo good!! 😍
Thank you for your vulnerability. It's always good to connect with like-minded people. I also loved seeing Nella's afro in The Other Black Girl. I felt seen and it was great! 😍You look very pretty btw!!!
4c hair IS good hair. We have to delete the negative programing around our natural hair, beauty and femininity in order to truly love on and enjoying wearing our hair and making it it's best self instead of wishing it was something else. All hair is good hair when it's healthy - that's what most important. I'm 4A and I remember one day early in my natural journey about 10yrs ago or so my Mom telling me I needed to go do my hair because I was wearing it as is in its shrunken clean state with a bobby pin or two. I told her it was done and she just shook her head LOL I love this content. Keep it growing.
It’s not programming, it genuinely looks bad but it’s not made to look good it’s made to be functional
This was such a big part of why I loc’ed my hair. I stopped wearing my natural hair out at all for around 3 years and it made me sad how most of the feelings I felt towards my hair were stress and anger. I’m only 8 months loc’ed now but sometimes I’ll style my hair or even just have an exceptionally good hair day and be in awe of how good I feel about myself as I am. Even though locs are a type of manipulation I’m enjoying my hair far more than I think I ever have. Your hair is so beautiful just as it is and I hope we can all find our path to realizing we’re all perfectly made
I agree so much with your points on femininity. I also had a realization in elementary school that people didn't really perceive me as a girl. But what I've noticed about being perceived as more masculine is that I get taken more seriously and treated more as an equal by my male peers. I think that people who fit into that rigid Western standard of femininity that you described tend to be treated well or at least acknowledged because of their attractiveness, which, because we live in a society, plays a heavy part in an individual's perceived worth. The girls who are seen as masculine, the girls who aren't perceived as girls, get taken more seriously because they aren't feminine; they are seen as more worthy of actual respect and attention, but at the same time, they become "unattractive". I know a lot of girls who don't fit into that rigid mould but are still perceived as girls, and they are overlooked by guys that would otherwise talk to me as they would anyone else.
Ok but in the ballet video you looked the best!! I don’t even “do” instagram but I recalled seeing that and how it made me feel. Not “comparing”you to the others but as a black girl with 4 something hair it was just beautiful to me and it affected me so much and I didn’t even know it. It should be regular. It’s soooo beautiful. I was raised with white people too and though I didn’t really envy their hair, I loved how in my first week of moving to the south to attend an hbcu we had a guest speaker talk about how we are special because our hair grows toward the sun. I wish we all were comfortable wearing our hair in its natural state.
Such a beautiful and candid conversation. 🙏 thank you for this!!My mom entered the workforce in the late 70’s early 80’s here in L. A. and she was NOT allowed to wear braids or an afro. She straightened but mostly wore wigs and weaves. My hair was straightened from like 3-4 years old then I got a jerri curl in the early 80’s (basically a curly perm for afro textured hair) that softened my 4C hair and had to constantly be slathered with the jerri curl wet hair spray to keep the soft curls. Later I got a straightening perm ( relaxer) to keep my hair straight especially when swimming so that my hair would fall, swing, blow in the wind and swish in a pony tail or that I could wear wet to school like ALL girls who have straight hair ( insert your white, Asian, Latino culture here basically everybody but me). To me that wasn’t such a big deal but it was a big deal to the boys so it became an issue for girls like me. At 19 I cut my perm off waayyy before the natural hair movement in 1992. I never knew what my real hair texture looked or felt like. I wore dreadlocks for about 20 years after that then cut them off and have experimented with braids, crochet styles, wigs and even the occasional straightening. For me my 4C hair IS challenging because I work in a government office and am sometimes on camera so walking the line between natural but groomed is a fine line for those looking in. And honestly I get waaayyy more complements when I wear a wig, braids or straighten it. IRL for me, there are very few who view my short fro as beautiful, even though I look in the mirror and I 1000 percent know it is. 🤷🏾♀️
4C is the best texture to experiment and come up with many unique styles.
Black hair isn't nappy its just dehydrated. Ever since I Started using products that keeps my hair hydrated, it never gets tangled and has grown a lot.
What products exactly?
I’d have never known ‘in between’ Afro’s were missing until this. You’re giving us answers to questions no one even knew to ask, and from the sound of it, you didn’t even know. This is way more precise and calculated than you may have intended it to be.
I love how sweet and vulnerable this is and you look SO cute with your afro
you also. look absolutely stunning. and, u lied and said it doesn’t frame your face! your fro is gorgeously framing your face 🥰
Agreed! Super cute. Fits her to a 'T'.
Your natural hair is beautiful.
Okay *screaming* loved this video, your poem, and your thoughts!! You articulated how I have been feeling for so long. I also love the way Nella's hair was in the other black girl!! It was lowkey very therapeutic and made me reflect a lot about my relationship with my hair. I also loved Ayo's hair in Bottoms.I hope I can get to the point where I look at my hair and love it without any type of manipulation. My therapist actually asked my what would it look like to just properly care for my hair and leave it at that. And that helped reframe a little bit. Thank you for sharing
Nice video! I also think some people say it's unmanageable because they don't actually know how to take care of it or what works for them. Like, your hair doesn't get very tangled if you always comb/style it with a bit of water. That's hard to learn though in a country like the U.S., even with the internet a lot of "natural hair" advice is for high porosity hair or other curl types but feign otherwise. (I used castor oil for years b/c I was told to but it was actually breaking my low porosity hair off!)
the fro looks really nice! definitely feel like a lot of black kids, especially growing up either upper middle class or in a predominantly white neighborhood or even a bit ostracized from other black folks, have the same experience.
i have pretty complicated relationship with my hair. i rock the weird "good at smash bros" 4c afro and i definitely had a medusa phase where i felt like i was battling with it constantly. after a while, i just kind of gave up and tried to accept whatever is going on up there as long as its healthy. bc i am a male and lived in a household where growing out your hair as a man was discouraged i felt like i didnt really have much guidance besides youtube tutorials and ive always been frustrated with the state of my hair.
that being said, your conclusion is excellent. everyone should accept and appreciate the way their hair grows naturally as difficult as it may be to confront. i think ive come a long way myself since highschool but i feel i still have a long way to go
Your poem is literally beautiful! You should publish it.
Your poem was so good I feel like it should be a part of a children's book or made into a short film adaption
My hair has been natural since 2009 and have been wearing it out since 2015. I was between weaves and just decided go for it. Never in my life have i felt more like me. Wish i would have known to do this before. Im the laziest natural. Im not doing twist outs, partly out of laziness but mostly I don't want to mimic a hair type that isn't mine. I wear my hair free form afros, roll/tucks or high puffs. At first certain persuasion of people would make micro aggressive comments like "why did I bother doing my hair, yours looks better" implying my hair wasn't done when I did do my hair. Or "your hair looks so much better straight." But I feel that I'm so much more confident with my hair the way it grows. I absolutely LOVE my hair ❤.
It's because society tells you you're not supposed to feel comfortable with your natural hair. Whether it's through getting a job, how you're treated and comments people say to you.
I didn't wear makeup in high school for the same reasons. I wanted to be comfortable with my natural face first.
Ok the part where you said you feel more insecure about wearing baggier clothes with your natural hair is so relatable. I have locs and sometimes I get nervous about wearing baggier clothes b/c I think I won't be perceived as feminine. When I didn't wear locs/my natural hair I never had this fear. It sucks but it's something I'm working on.
The level of "I relate to this on every count" is unreal. Same same same same. Not to JUST highlight the romantic aspect because everything you said in this video is important and you could've easily taken these notes from my own life and thought processes... But, once I found myself in a situation where I was set to travel with my partner and didn't get to do my braids as I usually like to do while traveling mostly for convenience as I tell myself, and the panic that hit me (he is white) when I realised he'd be seeing me for the first time with my hair out. Wow. And it was uncomfortable in all the ways you could think of. I spent the first half of that trip asking around and trying to figure out where I could do my hair while we were there (African country so I was like, there's a place). Long story short, I did not end up doing my hair. My hair was dry af, had zero products with me so it wasn't even in a good state and I couldn't manipulate it much. He saw me literally not done up. Interestingly, this spurred on curiosity in him. He was there when I did my twists at night before bed, watched me at times, asked questions. He was curious more than anything while I worked through being seen in a possibly different light by my partner. I was afraid he'd not find me attractive, back away, I'd not be what he signed up for, as you said. Can I tell you the RELIEF I felt after that trip. We're long distance and it's likely that had things not occured as they did where I was forced to have my hair out, he probably still would not have seen me in my natural hair. And I hate to say it, because like you I also want my partner to see ALL of me, especially in my most bare state, if you will. Who wouldn't want that? Although I wore my afro proudly on my online profile where we met, it was still manipulated and lush and "put together" if you will. This time, he got to see the nitty gritty of hair in varying situations. It's so sad we've been programmed to be ashamed of our hair. I am STILL working through showing up in spaces (that tend to be quite white) whether its work, socially, etc, and feeling beautiful and complete and like I'm not lacking when I show up with my hair as is. Whew. Long story. Black women, you are insanely beautiful. I love seeing us wear our hair and constantly defy the standard and create one for ourselves instead. Go out there and be great. Thank you for your voice, dear Amanda.
I stumbled on this video at the perfect time. I was planning on taking my old braids out this night and putting in twists. I'm in college and I always worry about what I'm going to do to my hair during its transition to another hairstyle and it dawned on me how I never even consider just wearing my hair in its natural state because I almost never see anyone with 4c hair just wear it naturally. This inspired me to just wear my hair and stop worrying about what people think. Thank you so much for making this video❤.
I lowkey cried watching this I also grew up around mostly white ppl and I know other woman have my hair type but I still feel alone in trying to love my natural hair. It felt like a mini therapy session and I wish as black woman we could come together, love each other and have a safe place to express our struggles. Hopefully one day I’ll work up to wearing my hair shrunken !!
really love this video! I also have 4C hair. Haven’t worn it out much this year just bc wigs or crochet have been more convenient, but I’ve been wanting to wear it out more and try new styles (besides my usual puff) I actually love the way my hair looks shrunken and getting out the shower, but I’m also scared of it tangling so I just twist and braid it up. You’ve actually inspired me to play around with it in it’s shrunken, non twisted state. I can also relate to the “ponytail swing” takes me back to 3rd grade when I thought petroleum jelly would make my hair swing 💀💀💀Your fro looks so cute!! ☺️
Thats what I have been saying. The illusion of 4c hair being difficult is because your trying to not have 4c hair. Like when i wear my fro, i just wake up maybe spray some hair refreser liquid shit than go about my day. Even with low maintenance protective hairstyles, I just wake up and go about my day. Where is the hard part? I wash my hair every 2 weeks. White girlies being washing it everyday, and wake up early to straighten it. Why is my hair more difficult?
The ponytail swing thing is real though, I love my hair in a Dora the explorer style triangle cut, but I always end up growing my hair out sometimes because I miss being able to get my hair in a high pony tail or bun so it’s out of my face but that ponytail swing is so fun until you whip your own face lol.
But also I feel like with hair you always want what you don’t have. When my hair is short I miss the length so I can get it completely off my face and neck. When it’s long I miss how fast it dries and how much easier it is to style short. When my hair is in its curls/waves I hate the frizz and how unpredictable natural curls are. When my curls fall down and my hair is basically straight I hate how boring it is. Right now my hair is dyed purple and I love how it looks but the whole washing process and having to think about transfer to my pillows or whatever if my hair gets damp, but before I died it I was so so bored of the brown even though everyone always complimented my natural color.
The best thing about hair is that it grows back, hair feels so high stakes because it’s such a big part of our appearance, but it’s also so low stakes because even if you bleach it and dye it bright green, if you cut it off it’ll grow back in your regular color no harm no foul. Getting a full on pixie cut/buzz cut at some point in life is 10/10 because even if you don’t end up wanting to keep it short you learn that it’s not the end of the world and for me at least I’m just not as freaked out about just trying stuff with my hair.
Also your natural hair is beautiful! I love the little fro, it’s so disco in the best possible way! I hope you enjoy your experiment and have fun with it. I really think there’s a great new years look on the cards for you with a sequin dress and silver chunky glitter eyeshadow look with the fro and I’m envisioning goldfish earrings with that. But my taste is trash so take my advice at your own risk.
happy for you to feel good in your natural way! As a queer more androgynous person I can relate to the whole battling femininity standards. You naturally have a very beautiful feminine face and I would say more feminine energy, hair in general is always gender neutral, society just puts certain types/ styles in a box. Expressing our selves inspires others to do the same
Definitely relate. I've came along way of accepting my hair with how it is and to start loving it. Especially in it's length.
You're hair is beautiful! I've been natural for almost ten years, I have predominantly 4C textured hair. It's definitely been a journey of learning and "accepting" what my hairs natural tendencies are with and without product...
I grew up during a time when there wasn't a lot of representations of 4C hair in its natural state, and we didn't have YT back then hence I didn't know what to expect of my hair nor how to care for it after transitioning to natural...
Honestly it's been tough learning my hair. I transitioned from relaxed to natural in my late 30s I'm now close to 50 years old dealing with hormonal shifts and physical health challenges which have effected my hairs health...
I love my natural hair, I love the texture etc but it's a lot of "work" to maintain and I'm aware that it's unpopular to admit that natural hair can take extra effort but for me this has been very true...
I'm not a professional hair stylist, and can't afford repeat trips to the hair salon at this time, I simply don't always feel like the extra steps necessary to maintain my hair myself...
I'm also a natural who happens to live with a physical health condition which reduces the amount of physical energy as well as dexterity I can spare for "one" task as for hair extensions braids? etc. I had never worn extensions until a week or so ago...
Prior to my experience with the extensions I had always worn my own hair even while relaxed. the extensions are similar in texture to my own hair in fact it blended well enough that it was assumed my own hair during a public outing...
I might wear them again once in a while on those extra lazy days, I think it's okay to wear and do whatever we want with our hair, if we want to wear it natural awesome, if we want to relax or wear extensions that's okay too
I'm subscribed to both relaxed and natural hair and beauty channels all have great info, we should do whatever makes us Happy! and helps us get on with our day
I don't have any immediate plans to relax my natural hair but I never say never because who knows? I might change my mind one day...
I think there's far too much judgement around natural hair care in terms of what someone chooses to do with there hair and why. I think it's wonderful that we are learning to embrace our hair in its natural state, but we shouldn't be harshly criticized or judged if we choose to relax or wear extensions and or braids either...
Natural hair is beautiful but it does require a different level of care and time to maintain and sometimes we may not be in the mood or have the additional energy to care for it especially if we are extra busy with other things. I know this is long, my apologies you're video is so thought provoking I wanted to add something to the conversation, I hope my grammar isn't too terrible, haha. have a great weekend ❤
You look beautiful and hearing your story was really lovely. I think the discourse surrounding natural black hair is often either wear your natural hair and be proud or do whatever you like with your hair it's just hair I think instead of having to pick a side acknowledging that you can accept it all yes you can wear your hair however you like we're autonomous beings and its our own choice what we like and feel comfortable with AND yes we do live in a world where 4c hair is not the beauty standard in the western world and it does require active framing of thoughts and effort to love and embrace in its natural state to counteract that.
7:55 that happened to a lot of girls at my school. they wore makeup so often that when they didnt, people would ask them if they were sick because they looked so "different". i would go some days with light makeup and some days without so people wouldnt treat me like that🥲
I relate to most of your experience. Especially the part about feeling the pressure to compensate for femininity.
Love love love this video. It captures the candid thoughts of myself and (presumably) a lot of black girls and women have had over the years ‼️
i really really love this video. I'm super passionate about advocating and uplifting black women wearing their natural type 4 hair and I don't mean to feed into the whole thing about attaching too much of our self worth to beauty - also it's kinda cliche what I'm about to say - but honestly your ridiculously gorgeous features are so much on display and brought out by your afro. in the same way you said aisha brought you confidence to wear your hair shruken, i now feel a bit more confident about wearing my hair shrunken! thanks for the video and sharing your thoughts
I pretty much wear my 4c hair shrunken (I do the wash and go method) or I wear I scarf. It wasn’t easy to start wearing my hair shrunken but I feel the most comfortable when I wear my hair like that.
Great video about the intersection of race, gender, and beauty
I love your fro. I feel like each style gives me a different vibe - just like clothes. An Afro feels free-er to me, like an artist creating something or a woman strolling barefoot through a field of flowers in a sundress. Just feminine and free 🤎💖✨
your fro is so beautiful 💓💓 i consistently had a fro for a few years (9th grade to 12th grade) only doing my own braids once every few months and keeping them for less than a month because i missed my fro so much. when i first cut my hair, i used to feel so bad about how short it was and sometimes my friends made me the butt of the joke for being "bald" and i played into it so it would feel less bad. but it grew pretty long actually. ive had locs since i graduated high school and sometimes i really really miss my fro even though i love my locs! i love this video n how you presented your wisdom. i hope this helps a person younger than us who has hair like ours and doesnt feel goos about it. thank you💓💓
I actually really liked your poem! I'm glad you left it in the final cut.
I totally relate to the whole wearing your hair in it’s shrunken and natural state and being mistaken for a little boy because when I leave my 6 year old daughter’s 4c hair just how it grows out of her head and I don’t have it styled in braids or stretched out with bows and what not people always mistake her for my son and I have to constantly correct them, when they say he or him or his, that she’s my Daughter and it’s very frustrating to me that that type of hair is automatically associated with masculine energy even when she’s clearly wearing pink tie-dye shirt. And it’s been this way since she was born. At every age they’ve done this to her. People of all ages and races and genders. I wish I could post a pic here because she is a spitting image of me (with darker skin and don’t even get me started about that) and has clear feminine features. even her voice and the way she talks it’s giving little girl. She’s super cute and I promise nothing about her gives male. It’s her hair. It’s always been the way society views shrunken 4c hair. And her beautiful dark skin! Ugh.
It's why I've decided to stop wearing wigs for a while and embrace my locs because I had the mentally that I looked finer anytime I wore a wig.
So glad you made this video. I have been natural for two years now and I’m loving my hair , glad you are having this conversation
I’m a Japanese guy and this video was nice to watch 😌😌😌very relaxing to hear your voice 🫶🏻
I've struggled with my hair all my life and Iet my out a year it was nice then when I found box braids in the beginning of college days I felt comfortable along with cornrows too. Now I've been having my hair out for another year im loving. I also having c4 hair is definitely a struggle no joke. .My two favorite hairstyles with braids box braids and cornrows.
Having a channel like this is very powerful,this is my first time going natural and the tension is insane.thank you for this educational freedom.
Awww I really appreciate this video I feel like we as black women need to hear this more most of us have been there before. I’m 35 now but when I was in high school I did not want to wear make up for that same reason! It’s true when people see you without it you do look sick or tired. It’s nothing worse than embracing a fake version of yourself. Love you first and then when you happen to wear a little makeup up it’s an appreciated compliment instead of an insult. 2020 Covid is when I really stopped with the little makeup ( eye brows, eyeliner , mascara look I use to do lol) I loc,d my hair and this is the most confident and beautiful I have ever felt!!! I feel free and beautiful and authentic and if someone doesn’t accept you for your TRUE beauty screw them!!! Let’s all embrace what the creator gave us! Our hair is beautiful, versatile, amazing and there is no other person on the planet with hair like US!!!!💕💕💕💕
I had the same fear with makeup! I never wanted to need to something external to feel comfortable leaving the house. Thats why Ive always avoided braids or extensions but its still hard navigating short hair when you don't feel good or pretty having it. Its such a struggle
super relatable!! I’ve been wearing a wig for convenience, but at a certain point it gets to be a little disorienting. I have to take it off to remember what I actually look like! Also a fear of mine to have a partner lose interest because they see my actual hair- but we deserve to be loved in all of our hair phases. I’m going out tonight with a new partner and this video definitely inspired me to wear my fro so thank you for sharing!!
You make any hairstyle look stunning. ❤
This was way too relatable! I am so thankful you made this video because it put into words exactly how I’ve been feeling for the majority of my life. I think these conversations are soooo important and I always have to remind myself that having natural 4c is a journey but it is not one you have to go through alone! Thank you so much for this and you look beautiful!
so glad I watched this when I did :,) I just started wearing my afro out and I’ve been nervous about it but I could relate to like everything in this video and knowing I’m not the only one that grew up like this is like okay so I’m NOT crazy lol. seeing how cute you look in your natural hair makes me really excited to wear mine too :) tysm for your video!
So much of this video is relatable. Especially wanting hair that moves like white girls hair does when i was younger. Honetly the Whip My Hair video did a lot for 8 year old me in thinking of my braids as cool in its own right rather than an immitation of that.
One of my liberatory moments was cutting off all my hair in high school. I still ocassionally miss having shoulder length hair but just the freedom it gave me was amazing
I'm relating! I've been natural my entire life and at the start of this year I decided to loc my hair and it's funny how much this process has in common with how I think people feel about "going natural".
I started doing my own hair when I was 16 or 17, and for me, a big source of shame was not being able to style it as well as my mother could. So I spent years trying to get better at twisting and braiding and twist outs etc. I have a lot of hair (like, a lot a lot), so ANYTHING I did took tons of time.
After a few years of doing all that, I realized that I just don't like doing hair. I think this was a hard pill to swallow, because I don't dislike my hair itself - I just have no interest in learning how to do a straight part, and I kept my hair in twists most of the time anyway just so I wouldn't have to mess with it for a few weeks. But hair is such a big part of Black womanhood, that it felt like I was giving up on something by locking it. I had to get over it tho I couldn't afford to keep paying them extra charges at the salon for having thick type 4 hair, OR keep spending entire weekends in the shower.
I'm at the stage in the loc process where my hair looks like twists that should have been taken out a long time ago, and it's uhhh stressful. I feel similarly to you as far as thinking I look unprofessional, or that my hair makes me unattractive. But at the end of the day I am so happy with how much time I'm saving by not doing my hair every few days, I don't think I'm going to give up any time soon.
Wishing you the best on this hair journey! And most of all, whatever you decide to do, I hope you have fun :)
I really really appreciate you for uploading a video on 4c hair so thank you
It’s just interesting, I feel the same way, it’s been hard for me to wear my hair as it grows from my head. Yet, I look at your hair and think she’s so beautiful her hair is perfect. We can really be our worst critics sometimes.
I would highly recommend butterfly and flower hair accessories worn by the temples and tucking the sides behind your ears looks so cute ♥
I relate so much to wanting someone to fall in love with you in your natural state! That's one of the reasons I wear my natural hair most of the time. I want to attract the right people.
8:55 I also felt that way about make up and filters. I used to only use filters until I realized I relied on them the same way people do w makeup. Is also started thinking this about my hair as well. I started myself with wigs even tho they were kinky but I want to fully love my natural self and not rely on outside sources
ngl locing my hair has been the only thing tht gives me the confidence to wear it as is
@@emmanuellatee realll
After years of wearing wigs I finally decided to give my hair a break because my edges are suffering. But I feel like I look weird with my natural hair because I was so use to seeing myself with only wigs on. It has messed with my head and so I’m having to reassure myself that it is okay to wear my natural hair out. I straighten it and hated it. It poofed right back out. But I told myself that it’s ok I will find a style that I like eventually but I am definitely giving the wigs a break until my hair is 💯 healthy. It’s going to be a journey but I’m ok with that. I’ve worn my hair in wash and go/twist out etc and I loved it in that state BUT the work it takes to maintain those hairstyles is so hard when you have very little time to tend to yourself. But I have to do this for the health of my hair and also for my mental
not only is your hair beautiful but it also looks beautiful on you🥰
Also? Especially!
literally took off my wig and moisturized my fro while watching 🖤
the poem was really good!!
I LOVE your hair natural omgg it brings out your doll features ❤
your hair looks gorgeous
I didn't finish the video but I needed to stop to say girl you're drop dead beautiful wtf
lovely video and I very much related on the makeup front and overall in general, it is so necessary to feel like you can look in the mirror and at least go: I look like me, even if I might not feel beautiful all the time I feel like myself, for me I've been trying to leave the house more days without doing little things like filling in my eyebrows
You are lovely, and this video was great ❤ This was a word! Remember all the TH-cam naturals endorsing pineapple buns? But that's not what my hair wanted to do, and it felt like I was binding it up to be "elegant" (and breaking off the back strands). I feel much happier when I let my hair be, rather than force it up or down/stretched.
This was such a great video and lovely anecdote! I am white and have short hair as a woman, so though I don't have the experience of texturism and lacking that representation, I can relate on the level of having a complicated relationship with my femininity with short hair. I've been confused for a boy a few times (have had short hair for most of my life, just feels more like me) and I also don't feel as comfortable in the hyper- or even typical feminine styles that are especially more embraced these days. I can see how there's a whole other level of disconnect when that ideal is very white and hearing your perspective on that was really interesting. Anyways, you look great and really liked the video!
thank you so much!!
OMG, your poem legit gave me goosebumps ...
This video is such good timing. I agree with you 100% and really liked your poem. I have been having the same thoughts about my hair. This year I have had my hair in more protective styles than wearing it out because of how I am perceived when I wear my hair out. When I wear my hair out, I am perceived as much younger than I am which can be frustrating or I am seen as less feminine. But now I am at the point where I just want my hair to be healthy and I am just over trying to look how people think I should look.